


Keeping Together

by raise_a_glass



Series: Working Together [2]
Category: Daredevil (TV), Iron Fist (TV), Jessica Jones (TV), Luke Cage (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Defenders (Marvel TV)
Genre: AU Post-Defenders, Attempted Sexual Assault, Canon Divergence, Dubious Consent, F/F, F/M, Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, M/M, Mental Illness, Mention of Suicidal Ideation, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn Polyamory, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2018-12-31 13:49:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 47
Words: 211,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12133833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raise_a_glass/pseuds/raise_a_glass
Summary: They thought they were forming a team. None of them realized that it would turn into so much more.AKA: Welcome to the Defenders Mental Health Support Group."Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success." - Henry Ford





	1. Claire

**Author's Note:**

> So I thought about starting a brand new fic for this but saw no reason why I couldn't continue on from Coming Together, leaving it as a stand-alone introduction of sorts that could be read on its own and making this the second story in the series.
> 
> This is likely going to be a pretty long story, and I'm afraid I can't commit to any specific posting schedule. My apologies. ^^ Suffice it to say that I will do the best I can.
> 
> This story picks up a few days after Coming Together. It will be fairly Danny-centric but everyone will be getting time in the spotlight eventually and the POV of each chapter will vary. 
> 
> I will add more tags as they come up, though many of them should be obvious, considering the characters' histories. I am also not ruling out the possibility that things could turn polyamorous at some point down the road, though I'm not going to force it if it doesn't feel like the story wants to go there. *Update - there will indeed be polyamory, but it will be very slow burn and the core pairings will remain.
> 
> I have also used creative licence to fudge the timeline on when a scene near the end of Iron Fist occurred.
> 
> I also wanted to note that this goes AU from the end of The Defenders and events from any later seasons of the shows will most likely not be incorporated, though anything is possible. ^^

Claire couldn’t help but smile to herself as Jessica cursed loudly. Again. To the surprise of absolutely no one, Jessica was proving to be a terrible student. So far Colleen was maintaining her patience admirably. She was, after all, a skilled teacher. It hadn't been merely personal affection that had led Bakuto to select her to run the dojo that had turned out to be a recruiting program for the Hand. She wasn't a saint, though, and even her patience was bound to run out eventually.

"You need to plant your feet a little wider, like this," Colleen said, demonstrating. "And keep your fists up."

It was the first group training session that they'd held since coming up with the idea at dinner a few days ago. Other than Jessica's obstinacy, Claire thought it was going pretty well, considering the mish-mash of personalities and fighting styles (or lack there-of) they'd assembled.

Ever the professional when it came to teaching, Colleen had insisted that she wanted to run through some basics with their newbies before they did anything else, which was why she was currently trying to show Jessica some basic blocking techniques. Claire and Luke were just observing, as Luke was supposed to be learning the moves as well and would have his own turn running through them with Colleen shortly. Claire was looking forward to the comical picture that was sure to make due to their size difference.

Matt and Danny were doing some light sparring on the other side of the dojo. It had been Matt's suggestion, much to Danny's delight. Claire suspected that it had been Matt's intention to keep Danny distracted. She could tell that he'd been making a valiant effort to keep his temper in check, but it had been obvious to all of them that Jessica's glib attitude about the training had been grating on him. Claire knew his own training had been very strict, putting a great deal of emphasis on having the utmost respect for the dojo and your sensei, so it wasn't surprising.

It had likely been easiest of all for Matt to sense his rising tension, and when he'd made his suggestion Danny's mood had changed from barely repressed agitation to absolute elation so quickly it had been like someone had flipped a switch. His starry-eyed hero-worship of Matt had not dimmed in the slightest, and he was clearly thrilled. They hadn't been at it long, though, when Matt signaled for them to stop.

"Someone's coming," he said. They all turned their attention to the door and a few moments later Joy Meachum was walking in. Claire blinked in surprise. It was her understanding that Joy had been travelling abroad since Harold Meachum's death and that neither Danny nor Ward had heard from her.

"Joy!" Danny exclaimed, rushing forward. "What are you doing here?! I mean, when did you get back? How are you? Are you okay?"

"I... I just came from the airport, actually," Joy replied, shaking off her obvious surprise at seeing so many people there.

"You came straight here?" Danny asked, frowning.

"There's something I need to tell you that couldn't wait. Do you... want to step out into the hall?" she asked, eyeing the others.

"No, it's fine, are you okay? Is something wrong?" Danny asked urgently. Claire could only imagine how relieved he was to see her. She knew he'd been very worried. Joy pursed her lips for a moment, still looking at the others, before turning her attention back to Danny. Her expression finally softened, and she reached out to squeeze Danny's hand.

"I'm okay, Danny, just tired," she said. "I promise that tomorrow we will get together and talk properly, after I've gotten some rest. But I wanted to come here and warn you right away."

"Warn me?" Danny asked with a frown. Claire exchanged a worried glance with Luke. That didn't sound promising.

"It's Davos," Joy said, a grim look on her face. Claire straightened up in alarm and she heard Colleen suck in a breath.

"D-Davos?" Danny stuttered, his face going ashen. "But... but I thought he returned to K'un Lun."

"Well, he didn't," Joy said with a tired sigh. "Somehow he tracked me down in Paris. Wanted to meet. He... he tried to convince me to help him _kill_ you, Danny."

There was a moment of stunned silence as Danny gaped at her uncomprehendingly. Claire covered her mouth in shock. _Oh, no_.

"Who the fuck is Davos?" Jessica asked. Her words seemed to snap Danny out of his daze.

"Davos... wants to kill me?" he asked slowly, his face crumpling. Claire's heart clenched in her chest. Colleen pulled off the gloves she'd been using with Jessica and moved to stand at Danny's side, her face creased with concern.

"I'm sorry, Danny, but yes, he does," Joy said, her voice brisk but not unkind.

"No, you must have misunderstood, there must be some _mistake_ ," Danny said, shaking his head in denial, a desperate edge creeping into his voice. Colleen gripped his arm but he didn't seem to register her presence.

"I'm sorry," Joy repeated. "He was very clear. He tried to frame it like it would be in my best interest to have you ‘removed’ and when I pushed he flat out said ‘killed’. He also made out like he would be doing me a favour by helping me, but he clearly wanted _me_ to help _him_."

"And what did you say?" Colleen asked when Danny seemed incapable of doing anything more than stare at Joy, his face a mask of anguish.

"I told him I would think about it. It was just a ploy!" she rushed to add as Danny's face crumpled even more. "Christ, Danny, of course I could never want you dead. I wasn't sure what he'd do if I outright refused him. So I said I needed time to think, and three hours later I was on a plane. I wanted to warn you."

"What, you've never heard of phones?" Jessica asked drily. Joy shot her a quick glare.

"It was time to come home," she said firmly. "Danny... I really am sorry about this. I'll call you tomorrow. And please don't mention to Ward that you saw me. I don't have the energy to deal with him tonight. I'll talk to him tomorrow, too." She stood there looking at Danny, as if debating whether to move forward for a hug, but ultimately turned and left the dojo without another word. Silence hung heavy in the air for a long moment.

Colleen moved in front of Danny so that she could face him, her hands moving to grip his arms. Danny was trembling with emotion, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

"Danny," she prompted. "Danny, speak to me." His gaze moved to meet hers, and Claire could see the devastation in his eyes from across the room.

"Why do the people I love keep trying to kill me?" he asked, his voice cracking. He sounded all of twelve years old.

"Oh, Danny," Colleen said sadly. She moved to put her arms around him, but he pulled back, stalking away from her to pace in agitation, his hands running through his hair. Colleen watched him helplessly.

"No, seriously though, who the fuck is Davos?" Jessica finally asked again.

"I'm wondering that myself," Luke said, his voice heavy with concern. Matt made a noise of assent.

"Claire, do you know what this is about?" he asked softly.

"Davos is the son of Danny’s teacher in K'un Lun. They grew up together," Claire replied, keeping her voice soft as well. Though she doubted either Danny or Colleen were paying them any attention, she couldn’t help but feel a little guilty, like she was gossiping. But the others needed to know.

"Like brothers," Matt said flatly. It wasn't a question.

"Like brothers," Claire agreed. Danny had stopped pacing, going to stand by the window, his fists clenched at his sides. His whole body was vibrating with emotion. Colleen hovered nearby, clearly torn between giving him space and offering comfort.

"Not long after Danny first came back, Davos showed up here in New York, looking for him," Claire continued. "He was angry that Danny had left and wanted to bring him back, by force if necessary. They worked together against the Hand briefly but ended up fighting each other. I didn’t witness it myself, but I hear it wasn’t pretty. Danny beat him and... that was the last we saw of him."

"So you've met him?" Matt asked.

"Oh, yeah," Claire said. "Real intense guy. They sure know how to make 'em in K'un Lun."

"They can't be all bad, if Danny came from there," Luke said. Jessica snorted, but it was without heat.

"Yeah, well," Claire muttered sadly, watching Danny struggle to control his emotions. "He didn't exactly get out unscathed." Luke frowned.

"What do you mean?" he asked. Before Claire could even begin to formulate a response they were distracted as Colleen spoke up again.

"Danny, please don't do this. Please don't shut me out," she said. Danny turned to her, taking a deep breath as he slowly and deliberately unclenched his fists and calmed his trembling. Forcing a facade of calm, Claire thought grimly.

"I'm... I'm okay," he said, his voice ragged.

"You're not okay, Danny," Colleen said, taking his hands in hers. "You're _allowed_ to be upset."

“I’m okay,” Danny said more insistently. Claire could practically see the walls clamping down, a careful blankness settling over his features. He took another deep breath before turning his attention to the others, at which point Claire realized with embarrassment that they were all just standing there staring at him.

“My… my apologies,” Danny said, his tone strangely formal. “I did not mean for my personal life to… to intrude. And I apologize for the interruption to your training, Jessica.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Jessica replied, eyeing him critically. Was that maybe a touch of worry in her expression? Claire wasn’t sure. “I was about ready to call it a day, anyway.”

“And your personal life is not an _intrusion_ , Danny,” Claire admonished. Danny gave a sharp little nod of assent but it was clear he didn’t believe her.

"So what do you need us to do?" Luke asked. Danny blinked at him, his face blank.

"What… what do you mean?" he finally asked.

"To help," Matt said. "What can we do?" Danny turned to stare at him in turn.

"You... want to _help_ me?" he asked, wonder creeping into his voice.

"Of course," Luke replied, frowning. "That's kind of the whole point of this… isn't it?"

"We're supposed to protect the _city_ , to help innocent people," Danny said, frowning in confusion.

"Yeah. _And_ help our friends, when they need it," Luke stated confidently. "So. _What do you need us to do?_ "

Danny gaped at him, a flood of emotions washing over his face, the thin veneer of control he’d managed to achieve a moment ago already slipping away.

"There probably isn't anything we _can_ do, not until Davos makes a move," Colleen said, as it became clear that Danny had been struck speechless. “We don’t have any way of knowing where he might be.” She wrapped an arm around Danny’s waist, pulling him closer. His arm came up automatically to wrap around her shoulders, even as he continued to look dazed.

“I guess if he hails from K’un Lun he doesn’t have any legit ID, but do you have a picture of him? Or know of any security footage he might have shown up in?” Jessica asked.

“Why?” Colleen asked.

“Because if I have a decent shot of his face I have resources I can use that might unearth something useful. PI, remember?” Jessica replied drily.

“You want to help, too?” Danny exclaimed, staring at Jessica in shock. Claire was starting to worry he was going to faint. Jessica just rolled her eyes, though she looked uncomfortable.

“Picture?” she prompted again. Danny frowned, clearly trying to focus past his emotional state and concentrate.

“Harold’s penthouse,” he finally said. “Ward might still have access to the security footage. I brought Davos there once.” He barely suppressed a flinch when he said Davos’ name.

“Great. Get me the footage and I’ll see what I can come up with,” Jessica said.

“And once Jessica has some info we can figure out a plan,” Luke said. “You and Colleen are not going to deal with this alone.”

“I… I don’t know what to say,” Danny choked out, his eyes once again shining with unshed tears. “ _Thank you_.” Jessica turned away, fumbling with the straps on the MMA gloves Colleen had had her wear in what Claire thought was a fairly obvious attempt to mask her discomfort.

“Don’t mention it, man,” Luke said, clamping a hand on Danny’s shoulder and giving it a supportive squeeze. Danny looked up at Luke with a dazed, watery smile. Claire eyed him critically. He looked _exhausted_ , which was completely understandable considering the emotional rollercoaster he’d just travailed. Colleen, still clinging to his side, didn’t look much better.

“I think it’s time we call it a night,” Claire declared. “I think Danny and Colleen could use some rest and alone time.” Colleen shot her a grateful look.

“That’s probably a good idea,” she agreed. “I’m sorry we didn’t get to your turn, Luke.”

“Next time,” Luke said with a shrug.

“Jessica, do you want to share a cab back to Hell’s Kitchen?” Matt asked.

“Uh, sure,” Jessica said, discarding the gloves and grabbing up her jacket and bag. As they made their way out of the dojo, Matt paused to give Danny’s arm a reassuring squeeze.

“We’ll figure this out, okay?” he said gently.

“Thanks,” Danny said, squeezing Matt’s hand back gratefully.

Claire gave both Colleen and Danny tight hugs before she and Luke headed out as well. For a while they walked in silence towards the subway station, their hands linked.

“He really was shocked that we wanted to help, wasn’t he?” Luke finally said.

“Afraid so,” Claire sighed. “He has… trust issues. Not without reason, either.”

“Which we made worse when we tried to forcibly sideline him in the fight against the Hand, no doubt,” Luke said with a grimace.

“Yup,” Claire agreed with false cheerfulness. She’d already railed at him about that particular incident when she’d first found out the details.

“At least he has Colleen. I wouldn’t want to think about him being alone tonight with how upset he is,” Luke said.

“Don’t let Colleen fool you,” Claire said drily. Luke raised his eyebrows. “She’s a mess, too. She’s just better at hiding it. They are two emotional messes who somehow fit together just the right way to prop each other up. But it’s not going to be sustainable long term.” Luke seemed to mull this over for a moment.

“We’ll make it better,” he stated with utter confidence.

Claire couldn’t help but believe him.

TBC

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yes, I know that having that scene between Davos and Joy occur post-Defenders means that Madam Gao also made it out of Midland Circle. (I mean, are any of us going to be surprised if that turns out to be the case, anyway?) Obviously I have no idea where the show might end up going with that scene but personally I can't imagine that Davos would really be able to convince Joy to turn on Danny.
> 
> Anyway, I hope it was an enjoyable read. ^^


	2. Danny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Danny tries to process some of his feelings the morning after Joy's shocking news about Davos, with mixed results.

" _There will be consequences for this, brother."_

Danny’s eyes shot open as he jerked awake, Davos’ voice echoing in his head. The last words Davos had said to him before walking away and disappearing into the rain, so many months ago. He swallowed convulsively, trying to get his pounding heart rate back under control.

He glanced over at Colleen, hoping his sudden awakening hadn’t disturbed her. Thankfully she appeared to still be sleeping peacefully. He knew sleep wouldn’t be returning easily for him so he carefully extracted himself from the sheets and padded out into the dojo. Maybe running through his forms would clear his mind.

But concentration proved to be elusive. His mind continuously circled back to Joy’s visit, and the shocking news that she’d brought. What had followed afterwards, from the others, had been something of a shock as well. He’d been left feeling completely overwhelmed, and he’d desperately tried to center himself, to regain control. He'd _needed_ to be calm. Dealing with the rest of it… that could come later. But he couldn’t let himself be ruled by emotions in the meantime.

_"Emotions are a weakness. They will be your downfall."_

Lei Kung's voice, tight with anger and disappointment, as it so often was. Danny flinched, stepping out of form.

"Shut up," Danny muttered. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and moved into proper position to begin again.

_"You are a living weapon. A weapon doesn’t know feelings."_

Danny grit his teeth and moved his body into the next position.

_"You're weak. You've always been weak."_

His breath hitched in his lungs. Next position.

_"Your parents would be ashamed of you."_

"Shut _up_!" Danny yelled. He spun around and slammed his fist into one of the practice dummies, splintering it to pieces. He stared at it for a moment, aghast, before turning away and screaming in frustration, his hands gripping his head.

" _Danny_!" A harried-looking Colleen appeared in the doorway to the bedroom, katana in hand though it was still sheathed. Her eyes quickly scanned the dojo for a threat before finally settling on Danny, who stood trembling in agitation amongst the debris of the shattered dummy. She sagged a little, the tension draining from her limbs. "Danny," she repeated, the alarm in her voice replaced with sadness and concern.

"I'm sorry," he said miserably. "I-I didn't mean to... and I woke you, too. I'm _so_ sorry." Colleen crossed the dojo towards him, propping her katana against a pillar along the way. She reached up and gently but firmly pulled his hands away from where they were still tangled in his hair. "I-I'll get it replaced right away," he added. She kept his hands in hers, rubbing her thumbs over his knuckles.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ve been known to take my frustration out on the equipment, too,” she said.

“You need it for your classes. I’ll get it replaced,” Danny repeated dully. The surge of anger had gone as swiftly as it had appeared but it had left him feeling drained and lifeless, with an uncomfortable tension still coiling in his muscles. Colleen nodded absently. He knew she didn’t care about the dummy, but he couldn’t help but feel terrible that he was causing her trouble. He was _always_ causing her trouble.

“What happened?” she asked tentatively.

It was tempting to try to deflect, to say it was nothing, just his stupid temper, haha. After the others had left the evening before, she’d made a few attempts to prod him into talking, but he’d rebuffed them, too preoccupied in his desperate internal struggle to remain in _control_. But he was so _tired_ , and it wasn’t fair of him to keep turning her away. She’d already shown him much more patience than he deserved.

“It was Lei Kung,” he admitted. Colleen's eyes widened for a moment but then she gave her head a little shake, frowning down at their clasped hands.

“Seeing, hearing, or both?” she asked without looking up.

“Hearing,” he replied after a moment, his skin prickling with shame. “He… he was saying…” His voice trailed off as he couldn’t bring himself to repeat the cruel words. “I tried to ignore him, but I just wanted him to stop,” he continued, feeling every bit as weak as Lei Kung had said he was.

“Hey, none of that,” Colleen admonished, finally meeting his gaze and giving his hands a supportive squeeze. “I thought we agreed there was no reason for you to be embarrassed about this?” Danny nodded, managing to give her a faint smile.

He _had_ been embarrassed, incredibly embarrassed, when he’d first admitted to her that he sometimes had hallucinations. He’d never told anyone before. But he’d basically had no choice when she’d returned home from the market one day months ago to find him having a one-sided conversation all alone in the dojo. He knew it wasn’t ‘normal’ and he feared what her reaction might be. He didn’t know what he would have done if she’d looked at him differently, or if she’d called him crazy.  But she’d just clasped his face in her hands and told him that after everything he’d been through, it was no wonder that his mind might cope with it in unconventional ways sometimes. That he had nothing to be ashamed of.

Danny didn’t know what he’d done to deserve her.

“Did it have to do with… Davos?” Colleen asked carefully. Danny immediately tensed. “I understand it’s a difficult topic, Danny, but we have to talk about it sooner or later,” she persisted when he remained quiet.

“Can we… make some tea? Then we can sit and talk,” Danny said. Colleen smiled and nodded. “It can wait until morning if you want to go back to bed, though,” he added, suddenly remembering with a pang of guilt that he’d woken her up.

“It’s barely an hour until I would have been getting up anyway,” she shrugged. “If you’re finally ready to talk then that’s far more important,” she added with a teasing smile. He returned the smile sheepishly, grateful for her effort to inject a little levity.

A short time later they were seated at the small dinette table in the kitchen, each of them with a steaming mug of tea in front of them. They remained quiet for a few moments as Danny tried to collect his thoughts. Colleen waited patiently until he was ready.

“I don’t believe he really wants to kill me,” Danny said finally. Colleen frowned.

“Danny-,” she began, voice heavy with concern, but Danny pushed forward.

“It’s not that I don’t believe Joy,” he said hastily. “I do. I’m sure her read of the situation was accurate. I know Davos is angry. He… he has every right to be. I… I abandoned them… I abandoned _him._ He might even be angry enough to… to _think_ he wants to kill me.” He paused, his heart clenching at the very thought. It _hurt_ to think of Davos that angry with him. “But if it came down to the killing blow, he wouldn’t be able to do it. He _couldn’t_.” Colleen looked at him for a long moment, her teeth gnawing at her bottom lip.

“That… could be true,” she said carefully. “But I think you need to prepare yourself for the worst, Danny. Maybe… maybe he _did_ return to K’un Lun after the two of you fought, and found the same thing we did. Bodies of Hand soldiers in the pass, and K’un Lun gone. He likely would have assumed it had been destroyed, like we did until Alexandra told you otherwise. He… he already blamed you for leaving. If he believes that they’re all dead, and that you’re responsible….” Danny grimaced, looking away, and she rushed to continue. “He’s _wrong_ about that, of course. What happened to K’un Lun was not your fault, Danny. But grief like that can change a person. And he’s already proven himself willing to kill. I think it would be dangerous to underestimate what he’s capable of. And… even if he can’t bring himself to do it in the end, that doesn’t mean he might not do a lot of damage trying. To you, or to others. If he was willing to seek out and contact Joy, who knows what else he might do, or who else he might talk to?”

Danny looked down to where his fists had instinctively clenched on the table, wilfully steadying his breathing. Her words made sense. He knew they did. He had to look at the situation without letting his emotions interfere. Whether Davos had truly come to hate him that much was irrelevant to the larger picture. The ache in his chest was _irrelevant_. Davos could hurt other people while trying to hurt him. He couldn’t let that happen.

A small voice at the back of his head whispered that that was likely the _real_ reason the others had offered their help, too. The _only_ reason. Because of the innocent people Davos might hurt along the way. The thought stung deeply, and he tried to push it away, but it clung stubbornly to the back of his mind.

“You’re right,” he said to Colleen. “We need to find him before he hurts anyone. Maybe… maybe if I could just _talk_ to him.” Colleen looked at him for a long moment, as if she was debating pushing him further. She was doubtlessly thinking of the last time he and Davos had ‘talked’.

“Well,” she finally said with a sigh. “Unless he was following Joy and knows she left, he’s likely still in Paris. Hopefully you can get that image from Ward for Jessica and she can use her investigative magic to find some way to alert us when he comes back to New York.”

“Yeah,” Danny agreed, ignoring the pang in his chest at Jessica’s name. There was no doubt that the others’ offer to help had been sincere, even if it hadn’t been personally motivated. That was the important thing. It was selfish of him to have wanted it to be anything more than that. Just his feelings getting in the way again.

"Look... I think it's good that the others are going to help, and that we're working with them in general," Colleen said, almost as if she was reading his mind. "But I'd be lying if I said I trusted them a hundred percent. I... I can't forget what they did to you before. I think we should be cautious."

Danny almost flinched at the reminder. In the weeks since the Midland Circle debacle he’d tried to be objective about the incident that had ended up with him being held captive by his supposed allies. Maybe if he’d been able to remain calm and unemotional things wouldn’t have escalated to the point that they did. A weapon was not supposed to know feelings, after all. But no matter how he looked at it, it stung that they had been so unwilling to listen to him, so quick to jump on a plan that completely removed him from the fight without even considering another. It made him feel like they’d only ever seen him as a child, that they’d been eager for any excuse to get rid of him. And waking up tied to that chair… being so helpless, just like when he’d been strapped down at Birch so many times… he shuddered, his fists clenching.

Best not to go down that road when he was already feeling so… fragile.

“You’re right,” he said. His mouth twisted into a small, self-deprecating smile. “They may be willing to work with the Iron Fist to protect the city, but that doesn’t mean they like Danny Rand any better than they ever did. I need to remember that.” Colleen’s eyes widened, her mouth dropping open a little.

“Danny, I didn’t mean-,” she began, but was cut off as Danny’s phone began to chime on the nightstand by the bed. Ward’s ringtone. Danny jumped up to go answer it, grateful to avoid any discussion about the others and how they may or may not have felt about him. Frankly, his nearly desperate desire for the others’ friendship was incredibly embarrassing, and made all the more shameful when it was pretty clear how they really felt about him.

He grabbed up his phone and noted that it was still very early – far too early for Ward to be phoning for an innocuous reason. He must have heard from Joy.

“Ward? Are you okay?” Danny asked as he answered. It had been months since Ward had seen or spoken to his sister. If not for her periodic contact with Megan, their assistant at Rand, about work matters, they wouldn’t have even known she was alive. Danny could only imagine how Ward was coping with her sudden reappearance.

“You saw her? You saw Joy?” Ward demanded instead of answering. Danny hesitated. Joy had asked him not to tell him until she talked to him herself, but she must have made _some_ kind of contact with him to have Ward in this state.

“Yes, she dropped by the dojo for a few minutes last night,” he said. “I’m sorry, she said she wanted to talk to you herself first,” he rushed to add, lest Ward think he just hadn’t bothered to tell him. Ward let out a ragged breath.

“I woke up to an email asking to meet in her office at 9,” Ward said. “Fuck, she could have given more warning than that.” Danny’s mouth quirked. The abject relief in Ward’s voice was obvious, no matter his grumbling. “It just mentioned that I didn’t have to tell you she was back, because you already knew.” And now there was some hurt in his voice, too. Danny grimaced.

“She had to warn me about something time-sensitive, Ward, it’s not like that,” Danny rushed to reassure him. “She’d been travelling all day and just wanted to get home to rest. She wouldn’t have come by here first if it hadn’t been important.”

“ _Warn_ you? About what? What’s wrong?” Ward asked. Danny was sure he wasn’t imagining the note of concern in his voice, and it made something in his chest unclench a little.

“I’ll explain everything when I get to the office, after you’ve had a chance to talk to Joy. It’s nothing that can’t wait until then. But… I _do_ need to know if you still have access to the security footage from Harold’s penthouse,” he said. There was a moment of silence.

“Yeah… I put all Dad’s computers into storage at Rand,” Ward said slowly, clearly suspicious. “Just ask Megan, she can have them brought to your office. And… don’t bother trying to figure it out yourself, just have Megan get someone sent up from IT. They should be able to find what you’re looking for in no time.”

“Thanks, Ward,” Danny said, relieved. “I’ll explain everything, later, I promise.”

“Fine,” Ward said. “Joy… she looked… okay?” he added hesitantly.

“She looked great,” Danny said with a smile. “Well, tired from travelling like I said, but she seemed okay, Ward. She said… she said it was time to come home.” Silence extended for another long moment.

“Okay,” Ward finally said with a sigh. “I’ll talk to you later, Danny.” And with that he hung up. Danny turned back toward the kitchen, where Colleen was sipping her tea and looking at him inquisitively.

“Joy sent Ward an email asking to meet this morning,” he explained. “Ward was a little freaked, but I know he’s really relieved that she’s back, too. With… everything else, I guess that hadn’t really sunk in for me yet. Joy’s finally back.” He smiled, letting himself indulge in the genuinely happy feeling for a moment. “I think she’s ready to work things out with Ward. They… they can be a family again.” He paused, his breath momentarily stolen by a sudden tightness in his chest. He honestly wasn’t sure if it was happiness or loneliness.

 _“Isn’t it obvious? I’m not your sister, he’s not your brother. We don’t_ want _you here.”_

Danny jumped a little at Joy’s voice, but quickly recovered himself. Of course Joy wasn’t really there. But… he’d never hallucinated Joy like that before. That was… a little worrying. But he’d deal with it, just like he did the others. He rubbed absently at the ache in his chest spawned by the memory of when she’d spoken those words for real. He was sure Joy didn’t feel that way anymore.

He was _pretty_ sure, at least.

“Are you okay?” Colleen asked, peering at him worriedly.

“Yeah!” Danny said with forced lightness. “I have good news, too. I should be able to get the picture for Jessica.” He really was glad that he’d be able to be useful instead of just causing the problem in the first place.

“That’s great,” Colleen smiled.

“Everything’s going to be fine,” Danny said firmly. It was. He was going to deal with this, just like he’d dealt with everything else that had happened to him. He just had to be strong, and remember his training.

_Defeat has no place in my mind._

It had gotten him this far. It could get him farther. For now, that would have to be enough.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've always been frustrated by how they introduced the concept of Danny having hallucinations in episode 6 of Iron Fist and then never addressed it again. Psychotic symptoms such as hallucinations can absolutely be a significant part of PTSD, which Danny is clearly suffering from. (Further reading [here](https://www.verywell.com/relationship-between-ptsd-and-psychotic-symptoms-2797525) if you're interested.)
> 
> And no, Danny and Colleen's seemingly casual acceptance of his hallucinations is definitely NOT a healthy attitude to be taking, nor does Colleen feel as casual about them as it may appear. ^^
> 
> Next chapter, Jessica and Matt. :)


	3. Jessica

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jessica and Matt have a conversation.

Jessica grumbled as her phone chimed next to her head. She sat up straight, her spine protesting greatly at the change in position. She'd fallen asleep at her desk again. Fabulous.

She grabbed her phone and looked at the time. 11:27 am. And the chime had been an email from Danny. He'd managed to get a security cam shot of his apparently homicidal friend Davos for her. She rolled her eyes at the smiley face emoticon he'd signed the email with, even as it made her purse her lips a little. It's not like she believed he was actually feeling cheerful about the whole thing. But it was something she was starting to notice about him. That he often tried to present a cheerful outlook on things. She couldn’t help but wonder how often it was just a front.

Pushing that uncomfortable thought away, Jessica pulled the email up on her laptop so she could download the picture and start it running through a facial recognition program that a hacker acquaintance who owed her a favour had set up for her. She stared at Davos' face for a moment, finding it hard to imagine the fierce-looking man as someone Danny would have been close to. But then again... Danny seemed to want to be friends with everyone.

With a sigh she got up from the desk, leaving the program to do its thing while she headed to the kitchen for a bottle of whiskey. Breakfast of champions. She'd just poured herself a glass when there was a knock at the door and then Matt let himself in. Because, of course, she’d left it unlocked when she'd passed out at her desk last night, and he knew she was home because he could hear her heartbeat or something creepy like that.

"Hey," she said, raising her eyebrows. He’d never come to her office before. "Drink?" she added, proffering the bottle that was still in her hand.

"No, thanks," he replied with a smile. She couldn’t help but smile in return when he didn't add any further commentary on her day drinking.

"So what brings you here?" Jessica asked, moving back to her desk with the bottle and her glass. He followed, sitting in the chair in front. He was wearing a suit like he'd just come from court, but as usual he was sporting his perpetual five o'clock shadow. She mused that only someone as handsome as he was could pull it off without looking completely unprofessional.

"Have you heard from Danny?" he asked, which was not an answer. She narrowed her eyes at him.

"Yeah, I just got an email. He managed to find that security footage and get a picture of this Davos character," she said. "I'm running it through a program now, and there are a couple of other avenues I can explore, but frankly with nothing but a picture to go on it's a bit of a long shot."

"It's still good of you to try," Matt said. "Danny obviously appreciated it."

"Well it's like Luke said, right?" Jessica said, shifting uncomfortably. "I still hate the 't' word, but this is how it's supposed to work." Her mouth twisted into a smirk. "Besides, now if _I_ ever need anything Danny can't say no. Can’t hurt having a billionaire in your debt."

"C'mon, Jessica," Matt said with a chuckle. "You know perfectly well that even if we'd never spoken to him again after Midland Circle, he would still drop everything in a heartbeat to come help any one of us if we asked."

"Yeah, you're probably right," she replied with a snort. "I'm not quite sure how someone who can have such a short fuse can also be such a fucking ray of sunshine, but there you go."

"I wouldn't say it's so much him being a ray of sunshine as it is him being a genuinely good human being. Not to mention... really desperate for friends," Matt said consideringly. Jessica sipped her whiskey, eyeing him.

"He has Colleen," she said. "And the Meachums, I guess."

"Well, things with the Meachums seem kind of complicated, and Colleen could probably use some friends, too," Matt said drily. "They seem kind of... insular, except maybe for Claire."

"I think co-dependent might be the word you're looking for," Jessica smirked.

"You might be right," Matt replied, a sudden seriousness in his voice. "I mean, Colleen was a member of the Hand for years before learning their true agenda. She basically escaped a cult. People don't come out of an experience like that unscathed. As for Danny...." He paused, as if weighing his words carefully. Jessica frowned, taking another drink from her glass. "I don't have to tell you that losing your parents at a young age leaves a mark that lasts a lifetime," he said quietly. Jessica bristled reflexively.

"No, you don't," she said sharply. She took a deep breath, trying to force the tension from her shoulders. Matt was speaking from experience, too, after all.

"We could form a club," Matt said with a humourless smirk, as if he'd read her mind.

"If I'm already part of a freaking team then there's no way I'm joining a club, too," she groused. She poured more whiskey into her glass. Matt's smirk widened with genuine amusement for a moment before his face turned serious again.

"Considering what I know about Stick and the Chaste, not to mention some of the comments Stick made about this K'un Lun place, I... have some suspicions about what growing up in that monastery might have been like. Suspicions I really don't like," he said. Jessica digested his words for a moment, teeth worrying at her bottom lip.

"Stick trained _you_ for awhile, right?" she asked. Matt sighed, sitting back in the chair and adjusting his glasses. It didn't take a genius to see that Stick was a difficult topic for him.

"Yeah. Starting not long after... after my dad was killed." He paused, smirking a little again. "The nuns at the orphanage thought he was helping me learn to cope with my blindness. They weren't entirely wrong. I... I don't know what would have happened to me if he hadn't found me. My senses were getting more difficult to control all the time. He taught me how to filter it, how to not be constantly overwhelmed.” Matt paused again, frowning. “What the nuns didn’t know, however, was that he was also teaching me how to fight. I wasn’t sure at first why that part had to be secret… it was all just part of learning to cope with my blindness, or so I thought. I had no context then and didn’t realize until long after Stick was gone just how unusually brutal his training methods were. And of course it was only recently that I learned what the ultimate goal of all of it was.”

“Ultimate goal?” Jessica ventured as Matt fell into silence again.

“To train me to become a member of the Chaste,” Matt said. “That was Stick’s goal, at least until he was put off by my need for a father figure,” he added, his lips twisting into a humourless smirk. “It made him see that I couldn’t be what he wanted me to be. A merciless killing machine. But that is what the training is meant to produce. The training that apparently originated in K’un Lun, that Danny received fifteen years of, not a few months like I did.”

"Yeah, merciless killing machine. That's Danny in a nutshell," Jessica remarked drily.

"That's kind of my point, though. He's _not_ what they wanted him to be. But they must have tried to make him that. They must have tried hard. For fifteen years. Fifteen years of living it night and day. Lately I can’t stop thinking about it… at least I went home to the nuns at night. How much harsher could the training have been if Stick had had free reign? If there were no other adults in my life that he had to answer to? What if it had been my whole existence?" They both sat in silence for awhile, digesting the unpleasant implications.

“Well, growing up in an abusive cult could certainly explain some of his… issues,” Jessica finally said. “His temper, for one thing. And all the delusional mystical crap they ingrained in him. I mean, the guy straight up believes he was in another dimension for fifteen years, not to mention his claim that he fought a _dragon_ to get his chi power or whatever. That’s got to be something along the lines of like a peyote-induced vision quest or some shit, right?”

“I don’t know,” Matt admitted. “K’un Lun just being an extremely isolated village founded centuries ago by religious pilgrims seems a much more plausible explanation than it being located in a neighbouring dimension only occasionally accessible through a time-sensitive dimensional gate.” Jessica snorted. Laid out like that the notion was more ridiculous than ever. “And those bones under Midland Circle? Undiscovered dinosaur, maybe? But the Hand could raise the dead. We know that to be fact. Almost anything seems possible in light of _that_ impossibility. So who knows? Maybe Danny really did fight a dragon. Maybe K’un Lun really is a mystical city in another dimension.”

“Or he’s just crazy,” Jessica said.

“Or he’s just… psychologically troubled,” Matt said. Jessica smirked at his diplomacy. “I think that’s the case whether the mystical stuff is true or not, anyway. The plane crash alone would be more than enough to cause PTSD, even if my suspicions about life at the monastery are baseless. Either way, he needs our help.” Jessica mused on that for a moment.

"So why did you really come here today, Murdock?" Jessica finally asked. "Somehow I doubt it was just to discuss Danny’s possible mental traumas."

"I wanted to thank you, actually," he said.

“Thank me? For what?” she asked, genuinely confused.

“For dragging me out of Midland Circle when I was ready to die there,” Matt said bluntly. Jessica tensed, eyeing him warily. She took a long drink from her glass before speaking.

“You’re thanking me for knocking you out?” she asked with a forced air of flippancy.

“I am, actually,” Matt replied, his tone perfectly serious. “When… when I heard the timer on the bomb activate and yelled the warning to everyone… I wasn’t expecting Elektra to run off into the tunnels. All I could think about was that… was that I couldn’t bear losing her again. Even if it meant staying down there with her. Even if it meant _dying_ with her. Suicide may be a sin, but dying for someone you love is a noble sacrifice, or so I was telling myself. By stopping me from going after her, and yes, by knocking me out when I refused to listen, you saved my life, Jessica. So thank you.”

“Anyone would have done it,” Jessica said, uncomfortable with his frank honesty.

“I don’t know about that,” Matt said. He looked pensive for a moment before continuing. “I was ready to leave New York with her, before.”

“Leave New York?” she asked, surprised. She may not be able to claim to know him well or to have known him for long but his devotion to the city was hard to miss.

“Before she died,” he said. “We were facing a battle with the Hand with incredibly unfavourable odds, and I told her that if we survived, I’d leave with her. _For_ her.” He frowned, as if trying to find the right words. “She was the only one… the only one who understood. She understood that Daredevil was a _part_ of me. And I was so tired… tired of hiding, tired of Foggy’s hurt and disapproval. I _craved_ Elektra’s acceptance and couldn’t imagine returning to a life without it. But then she… she died, and I lived. And I already felt like part of me had died with her, so I thought I could kill the Daredevil part of me, too. But it was a mistake. Foggy and Karen… they acted like I was an addict in recovery, and I can’t even really blame them because that’s what I felt like, too. They think being Daredevil is a choice I make, and by claiming I could quit and lead a normal life I only encouraged that belief. But I was just fooling myself, and them. All those months trying to lead a ‘normal’ life… they were like torture. I was barely hanging on.” He swallowed, taking a moment to compose himself before continuing. “I know now that I was right before, about Daredevil being who I am. There’s no changing that now. But I also know that I was wrong about Elektra being the only one who can understand that. I’ve met a few people since then that can probably relate, at least partially.” He smiled a little ruefully before turning serious again. “So, wanting to follow her down that tunnel, wanting to die if it meant not being alone with it anymore… those feelings came from a dark place. A dark place I think I can move forward from now, and I wouldn’t be here to do it if it weren’t for you.”

Once again they sat in loaded silence for several long moments.

"Why did you tell all of this to me?" Jessica asked quietly. "Why not to your lawyer buddy or the blonde reporter?"

"Well, I thought I could use a dress rehearsal before tackling one of the big fish," Matt said lightly. "And besides... I had a feeling you would understand. And I hoped getting one positive reaction would make it easier to tell Foggy and Karen."

“So you _are_ going to talk to them?” she pushed. She couldn’t imagine admitting it out loud but his confession of what amounted to suicidal feelings had rattled her.

“I need to,” Matt said solemnly. “They deserve the truth, all of it. I don’t know if I’ll be able to make them understand, but I owe them the effort. Especially after I encouraged the idea that I could just quit for months. Maybe… maybe being Daredevil _does_ mean there’s something wrong or broken about me, but I feel like I’m finally coming to accept it as something that just _is_ , and not as something that needs to be fixed. They need to accept it, too, if they want to be part of my life. And I really hope they do.”

“I don’t know, dressing up in a gimp suit and going out to fight crime sounds like the actions of a perfectly well adjusted person to me, no extreme efforts at understanding and acceptance necessary,” Jessica drawled, refilling her glass. Talking about feelings and shit was thirsty business. Matt chuckled.

"I think this team might be a club for damaged people whether you like it or not," Matt said with a self-deprecating smile. Jessica scowled.

"What about Luke and Claire? They're fine," she said, annoyed at the petulant tone to her voice.

"I don’t know if _anybody_ is actually fine," he said with a laugh, his smile widening into a grin. "I think some people are just better at dealing with shit. Some people are emotionally mature grown-ups."

"Screw you," she muttered without heat.

The bastard just laughed harder.

TBC


	4. Danny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the lovely, supportive comments on the last chapter! <3

When Danny had arrived at Rand Enterprises earlier that morning Megan had informed him that Joy and Ward were already enclosed in Ward’s office. He’d wavered for a moment, wanting nothing more than to join them, but he’d managed to keep himself in check. They had family issues to discuss that he knew were none of his business, as much as the thought stung. So he had stuffed down his anxiety about how their reunion was going and had headed for his own office, where the boxes containing the computers from Harold’s penthouse were already waiting for him.

 

Danny had heeded Ward’s advice and asked Megan to call for someone from IT. Though he had enthusiastically embraced the technological advances of the past fifteen years and had quickly become proficient with his smartphone, navigating the intricacies of modern desktop computers had not been a priority and he knew getting an expert to perform the task would be much quicker than attempting to do it himself. It had taken the young woman from IT a little time to break through Harold’s security program but once that was accomplished she did indeed make quick work of locating the security footage. Danny told her the date and approximate time he was looking for and not only was she able to find a good shot of Davos’ face, she’d even enlarged and enhanced the image for him. Though he could tell she was curious she didn’t ask for an explanation, for which he was extremely grateful.

 

After the email had been sent to Jessica and the young woman dismissed back to IT with enough words of enthusiastic gratitude to make her blush, Danny had eyed Ward’s closed office door speculatively but had been informed by Megan that he and Joy were still ensconced together, the only sign of life the order that Ward had just put in to have lunch delivered to them. Unsure if such a long conversation was a good sign or a bad one, Danny had returned to his own office feeling rather adrift.

 

For awhile he sat staring at the image of Davos on his computer screen. Seeing his face again after their tumultuous parting so many months ago had made his heart clench painfully in his chest. Focusing on obtaining the picture for Jessica had allowed him to ignore all his conflicted feelings but now that the task was complete they were creeping back in. Having had more time for Joy’s allegations to sink in still hadn’t lessened the sting in the slightest. He could still barely wrap his mind around it. Davos being angry with him he could understand. He had plenty of experience with that, after all. He could even believe that Davos wanted to hurt him. But _kill_ him? It was unfathomable. He’d been telling the truth when he told Colleen he didn’t think Davos would be able to make a killing blow against him.

 

But… but he hadn’t been _entirely_ truthful with her, though. Hadn’t told her just _why_ he was so sure.

 

His friendship with Davos had always been… complicated.

 

He’d wondered if Colleen or Claire had ever noticed during his tales of childhood exploits in K’un Lun that Davos was the only name he’d ever mention. If they had, they had likely brushed it off as them being best friends. The truth was that Davos had been his _only_ friend, the only one amongst the youth of K’un Lun willing to give the ‘outsider’ the time of day - and even that had been at his father’s insistence. In the beginning, he’d been just as hostile as all the others.

 

As always, Danny’s mind shied away from thinking too deeply on those first months in K’un Lun, when the crash and his parents’ deaths had been so fresh, and he’d been trapped in a bizarre and alien place surrounded by unfamiliar and often hostile people who had little sympathy or patience for him. None of that mattered now anyway, it was over fifteen years in the past. The point was that no matter how begrudgingly it had been at first, Davos had eventually come to not only accept Danny’s presence, but even to claim him as a brother.

 

Though his feelings and actions could not always be described as ‘brotherly’, exactly.

 

Danny tried to push that uncomfortable thought away, as well, though it clung like a cobweb.

 

He… he hadn’t told Colleen anything about… any of _that_. He’d never told anybody.

 

Colleen and Claire had assumed him a complete virgin, he knew, though he’d never confirmed or denied it. It wasn’t a lie if he never said it, right? And, well, it wasn’t even a total lie. He’d had no experience with girls before Colleen, after all.

 

But she hadn’t been the first person to... to touch him.

 

Danny leaned forward over the desk, putting his head in his hands as he frowned. It seemed so wrong to draw any kind of parallel between him and Colleen and what had happened between him and Davos. It was worlds apart, figuratively and literally.

 

So he hadn’t said anything, hadn’t questioned whether he even should. But maybe these recent events changed things. Now that Davos had gotten Joy involved. Now that the others were involved, too, in trying to find him and prevent him from doing harm… maybe they _did_ need to know? Maybe it was… relevant? His fingers tightened reflexively, gripping hair that was just starting to get long enough to curl again. He felt… strange. Like every nerve in his body was coiled tight, but was also somehow… far away.

 

He didn’t want them to know. Not Colleen, not any of them.

 

_“You look good like this, all flushed and embarrassed.”_

 

Davos’ voice, heavy and leering right into his ear. It made him jerk straight up in his chair, eyes scanning the room quickly, though of course Davos wasn’t there.

 

Megan was, though, looking tentative and concerned in the doorway, her hand still on the knob.

 

“Are you okay, Danny? I… I tried the intercom and then I knocked, but you weren’t answering.”

 

“I’m… I’m fine,” he reassured her. “Just in my own little world, I guess,” he added, summoning a sheepish smile as he pushed away the lingering fuzziness in his head. He really must have been pretty out of it, not to have heard the buzzer or the knock. It was an unforgivable lapse in awareness. He’d have to be more careful.

 

“You missed lunch,” she said, still looking concerned. “And your one o’clock appointment is here.”

 

“Appointment?” he blinked. One o’clock? It had been before noon when the woman from IT had left. He hadn’t realized how much time had passed. Had he just… completely blanked out for awhile? He shook his head a little, forcibly pushing back the creeping feeling of unease that was threatening to rise. He could handle it. He always did.

 

“Mr. Nelson,” Megan said. “To discuss arrangements for the foundation?” she prompted as he continued to stare at her blankly.

 

“Right!” he exclaimed with an embarrassed laugh. He couldn’t believe it had slipped his mind, but then again a lot had happened in the past 24 hours. “Please show him in.”

 

Danny rose to shake Foggy Nelson’s hand after Megan ushered him in and closed the door behind her. He remembered seeing him at the police station the night of the Midland Circle debacle, but they hadn’t been formally introduced then. He knew he was Matt’s friend, and one of the few people who knew about Matt’s activities as Daredevil. Danny wondered idly if it had been coincidence that Hogarth had chosen to send him, and just how much she might know about… everything. She did know about Jessica’s powers, after all.

 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Rand,” Foggy said as he returned the handshake.

 

“Please, call me Danny,” he replied with a smile, gesturing for Foggy to take a seat. “And you like to be called Foggy, right?” Foggy raised his eyebrows a little at this and Danny smiled sheepishly. “I’m sorry, I guess that’s kind of forward, isn’t it? It’s just that Matt calls you that when he mentions you.” Some unidentifiable emotion crossed over Foggy’s face before he composed himself.

 

“No, no, it’s perfectly fine. By all means, call me Foggy,” he said. He fiddled with the clasp on his briefcase nervously for a moment. “So, um, you’ve… you’ve spoken with Matt recently?” he asked, clearly attempting a neutral tone and failing at it. Danny felt a pang of sympathy. He knew the relationship between them was rather strained and Foggy was clearly feeling the weight of it.

 

“Yeah, the, uh, the group of us just recently started to get together occasionally, sometimes for dinner, sometimes for, uh, training,” he replied, figuring that Foggy would be able to read between the lines. Foggy nodded, not looking too terribly pleased.

 

“I saw some news reports so I know he’s being… active again,” he said with a sigh. “It’s good that he’s not alone with it anymore, though, so that’s something. I’m glad he has people watching his back.”

 

“He definitely does!” Danny assured him enthusiastically. “But… I know he misses you. And Karen,” he added. Foggy looked away, pursing his lips unhappily. “Maybe… maybe you should try reaching out to him?” Danny suggested tentatively. He wanted Matt to be happy and he couldn’t be happy without the people he cared about most.

 

“I’ve been thinking about it,” Foggy admitted. Then he seemed to pull himself together. “But we’re not here to discuss Matt. Ms. Hogarth said you wanted to set up a charitable foundation?”

 

“Yes,” Danny said, figuring it was best not to push. He was hardly the person to be doling out relationship advice of any kind, after all. “Jeri has already been setting up a foundation that draws on Rand Enterprises’ profits directly, but I wanted another one separate from the company, drawing from my own personal accounts. Spread the wealth as much as possible, so to speak,” he said with a grin.

 

They spent about an hour going over paperwork, and Danny was extremely grateful for Foggy’s expertise, not to mention his patience. Legal and financial intricacies may as well have been Greek to him, but he had been trying to learn as much as possible so he peppered Foggy with endless questions every step of the way. As a child he’d known of course that his family had a lot more money than most other people but he hadn’t had the perspective to appreciate just how vast and unusual that wealth was until after returning from K’un Lun. People like Colleen and Claire had helped him realize that the wealth he’d been blessed with was a responsibility, not just a privilege, and he wanted to be able to help as many people as possible.

 

After they’d finally finished, Danny walked Foggy out to the elevator, intending to go and check on Ward and Joy. They couldn’t possibly _still_ be sequestered away.

 

When the elevator doors opened he was surprised to see Jessica and Matt.

 

“Hey, guys! I wasn’t expecting you!” Danny exclaimed happily.

 

“I wanted to question Joy some more about her meeting with Davos. Matt decided to come along. She’s here, right?” Jessica said, stepping off the elevator. She turned back when Matt didn’t follow. Both he and Foggy seemed to be frozen like deer in headlights. She rolled her eyes and reached back to tug on his arm, prompting him to finally step forward. This seemed to break whatever spell he’d been caught in.

 

“Hello, Foggy,” Matt said quietly.

 

“Hi, Matt,” Foggy replied awkwardly, clutching his briefcase to his chest like a shield. “I’m, uh, I’m late for my next appointment, so….” He stepped into the elevator and jabbed at the button for the lobby. Matt frowned, looking kind of heartbroken, before he suddenly reached out to stop the door from closing.

 

“Foggy… I want to get together with you and Karen sometime soon. To talk. I’ll call you later to set something up, okay?” he said firmly. Foggy’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

 

“Yeah… yeah, that would be good, Matt,” he said, a tentative smile on his face. Matt nodded in satisfaction and dropped his arm to let the doors close.

 

“That’s great!” Danny beamed. “I know he misses you, Matt! He looked so sad when he asked about you earlier! Are you guys finally going to work things out? I know you’ll feel a lot better, too, if he and Karen were back in your life, right?”

 

“Oi!” Jessica barked and Danny slammed his mouth shut. “Is Joy here or not?”

 

“Sorry,” Danny said, chagrined. Matt just smiled a little. “Yeah, she and Ward have been in his office _all day_. I was just going to go check on them.” He was a little disappointed that now there’d be another delay before he’d be able to talk to them himself but he knew dealing with Davos was more important than his own feelings. Besides, he couldn’t help but feel really pleased to see Jessica and Matt at Rand, even if it was technically for business and not a personal visit.

 

“Ward informed me a little while ago that you could go on in when you were finished with Mr. Nelson, Danny,” Megan spoke up from her desk.

 

“Actually, we were hoping to speak to Joy without you there, Danny,” Jessica said.

 

“It’s not you,” Matt rushed to add as Danny almost flinched, feeling a little like he’d been socked in the stomach. “It’s just that sometimes people speak more freely with people who are not so personally involved with the situation. Even unconsciously, Joy might hold something back out of fear of upsetting you if you were there.”

 

Danny nodded, swallowing past the lump in his throat. It made sense. Of course it did. There was no reason to think that they just didn’t want him around. Matt really did look apologetic.

 

“I get it,” he said with a tense smile. “Megan, can you please let Joy know that they’re here? I’ll just, uh, wait in my office. I have some stuff I need to do, anyway, and, uh… just let me know when Joy and Ward are free, okay, Megan? And thanks for coming, guys. I, uh, really appreciate you taking the time to work on this.” He ducked back into his office and shut the door before he could ramble at them any more.

 

He leaned back against the door, closing his eyes and taking several long, deep breaths, not even really sure why he was upset. It had been a perfectly reasonable request. Jessica and Matt knew a lot more about these kinds of things than he did, with their experience as a private investigator and a lawyer. It wasn’t like they didn’t trust him… right?

 

_“Your companions have no respect for you.”_

 

Danny opened his eyes and saw Lei Kung standing silhouetted by the window, his usual stern look of disapproval on his face. He closed his eyes again wearily.

 

“Go away,” he whispered.

 

_“And why should they? You are nothing but an impudent child. You bring shame on all of K’un Lun.”_

 

Danny stalked to his desk and sat down, determined to ignore him and get some work done, but when he opened a folder of the legal papers Foggy had left behind he couldn’t seem to bring the words into focus.

 

 _“You bring shame on my_ **_son_** _.”_

 

Danny looked up, startled to see Lei Kung now standing directly in front of his desk, staring down at him with the thunderous fury in his eyes that had always promised a vicious beating. Adrenaline spiked through his veins and his hands clenched spasmodically, crumpling the edges of the folder.

 

“That’s not true,” he said, ashamed of the tremor in his voice.

 

_“He would not be as he is now if not for you. He would never have done any of those things if you hadn’t… corrupted him.”_

 

“That’s… that’s not _true_ ,” Danny moaned, dropping his head into his hands. He couldn’t stand to look into the face of all that anger and condemnation anymore. “I didn’t… I didn’t _want_ that!”

 

_“You are poison to everything you touch. They know. They’ll turn on you again, just as they did before. And you’ll deserve it. You know you will.”_

 

“STOP!” Danny yelled, slamming his fists back down on the desk. And then he jumped as Megan burst in, looking alarmed.

 

“Danny?” she asked, her eyes wide. “Are you okay?”

 

“I’m… I’m fine, Megan,” Danny said shakily. He quickly scanned the room but Lei Kung was gone. He suddenly became aware that his heart was pounding and his hands were shaking. He fought to bring himself back under control and managed a smile for her. “I’m sorry I scared you. I’m okay, really.” She nodded, unconvinced, but left to return to her own desk, throwing one last concerned look over her shoulder before she shut the door.

 

“Fuck,” Danny muttered emphatically, rubbing his hands over his face. It was… _alarming_ to feel so out of control. To _be_ so out of control, more than he’d been in a long time. He needed to pull himself together. He couldn’t be weak, not when he had to prove himself to the others.

 

He rose from the desk and walked towards the couch, shedding his tie and suit jacket as he went. He settled into position on the cushions and took a deep, centering breath. Meditating until Joy and Ward were ready to see him would help settle his head.

 

At least he hoped it would.

 

TBC


	5. Matt

 

 

 

 

Matt listened with a frown as Danny babbled excuses at them and then all but fled back into his office. He had suspected that Danny’s feelings would be hurt by their request, but he and Jessica had both agreed that getting Joy’s impressions of Davos without Danny there to colour them was important. It didn’t make him feel any better about it, though. But… it felt like there was more going on than just that.

 

“Does he seem… kind of off to you?” he asked Jessica.

 

“You mean more so than usual?” she sniped, but then seemed to take a moment to actually consider it. “Maybe even more excitable than normal, I guess.” She tugged on his arm to prompt him into moving further away from where Megan was speaking on the intercom phone, presumably with either Joy or Ward. “I imagine dealing with a suddenly homicidal childhood friend is probably kind of stressful,” she added in a lower voice.

 

Matt was about to reply when he picked up on the sound of Danny’s voice speaking behind his office door. There was definitely a note of... _wrongness_  in it somehow. And wasn’t he in there alone? Feeling a little guilty at the invasion of privacy he focused in and frowned as he took in Danny’s increasing state of agitation.

 

“Joy will see you now. She’s with Ward in his office, last door on the left,” Megan instructed, hanging up the phone.

 

“Thanks,” Jessica said and took hold of Matt’s elbow to ‘guide’ him along for Megan’s benefit, which allowed him to keep his focus back on Danny’s office for a moment. He was… concerned. Jessica remained uncharacteristically silent, as if sensing that something had caught his attention and that he was focusing elsewhere.

 

_“That’s not true.”_  Matt’s frown deepened. Who was Danny talking to? Why was he so upset? He sounded… scared. A moment later he repeated the words, sounding even more emotional, followed by, _“I didn’t… I didn’t want that!”_ Matt felt a chill creep down his spine at how anguished he sounded and then he jumped as Danny suddenly yelled and slammed his fists on his desk.

 

“Hey, Murdock? You with us?” Jessica was asking. Matt realized that while he’d been preoccupied they’d arrived in Ward’s office and he could feel that the other three were staring at him. Apparently he’d missed the introductions. “Is there... something we have to deal with?” Jessica prompted further.

 

In the other office Megan had burst in to check on Danny and he was reassuring her that he was fine. He clearly _wasn’t_  fine, but there didn’t seem to be any immediate danger.

 

“I’ll talk to you about it later,” Matt told her quietly before addressing the others. “My apologies for the distraction. We can begin.”

 

“Don’t worry about it,” Ward said. “Please, have a seat, both of you. We’re happy to do anything we can to help find this guy before someone gets hurt.”

 

Matt couldn’t resist quickly focusing his attention back to make sure things really were okay as he and Jessica settled onto the plush couch facing the two armchairs where Joy and Ward were sitting. Megan was back at her desk, but he could sense that she was concerned. He could tell that she liked Danny a lot and she was worried about him. Matt wondered if he’d been behaving strangely all day.

 

Danny was sitting on his couch, meditating. It was already starting to bring his agitated body back down to a state of calmness but there was still something of a… of a nervous kind of energy crackling about him. It left Matt feeling uneasy.

 

“So when he approached you at the cafe it was the first time he made any contact with you?” Jessica was asking as Matt returned his attention to the present conversation.

 

“Yes,” Joy confirmed. “He just walked up to the table and sat down. I was so shocked. I guess with everything else that had happened before I left I hadn’t even thought to wonder about him.”

 

“Danny didn’t know he was still around, right?” Ward asked with a frown.

 

“It’s our understanding that they had a… disagreement the same night after the incident at your father’s penthouse,” Matt said. “Davos left and as far as Danny knew, he’d returned to K’un Lun.”

 

“K’un Lun,” Joy muttered bitterly. “I don’t know why they idolize that place so much. It sounds awful.”

 

“Oh?” Matt asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

“It’s nothing,” Joy said hastily. “Just.. some things Danny said before. I’m sure it’s not important right now.” Matt couldn’t help but wonder if it was actually very important indeed but let Jessica continue with her questions.

 

“How did he approach you when he first sat down?” Jessica asked.

 

“Well, at first I was just so surprised that someone would sit at my table unannounced like that. And it took me a moment to even realize it was him. I’d only met him the one time before, and he looked different,” Joy replied.

 

“How so?”

 

“More… cleaned up, I suppose, for lack of a better term. Clean-shaven, nice clothes. Someone must be helping him because he clearly had access to money. Not to mention however it was that he tracked me down in Paris. I was making an effort to be low-key, because I wanted some time alone.” She cast a guilty look in Ward’s direction.

 

Matt frowned. He’d been mulling over that a bit himself, wondering how a K’un Lun native had managed to get from China to New York with presumably only whatever knowledge of the world that ten year-old Danny had been able to pass on, and nothing in the way of identification. It had been impressive enough that Danny had managed it himself. But then to go on to track down and follow to Europe a wealthy woman who didn’t want to be found? It was unbelievable that he could have managed it alone.

 

“After I’d sat there stunned for a moment he asked me if I remembered who he was, and that’s when I finally realized,” Joy continued. “Then with pretty much no preamble, he just started talking about Danny, saying all kinds of things, like how even if he physically survived the plane crash, the boy I’d known had died that day. That becoming the Iron Fist had changed Danny, turned him into someone who destroys everything he touches.” Joy paused, shaking her head at the idea. “He tried to put the blame of everything that had happened with Dad on him, which… I was very confused and conflicted for awhile after everything happened, which is why I needed to get away, but I know now that Dad made his own choices, and it’s ridiculous to blame anyone else.”

 

“And how did actually wanting Danny dead enter the conversation?” Jessica asked.

 

“I… I conceded that my life had certainly changed a lot when Danny came back, and he said that that meant that I must realize that if I wanted things back the way they’d been before, that Danny would have to be… removed,” Joy said with a grimace.

 

“Removed,” Jessica repeated flatly.

 

“That was about my reaction,” Joy said. “But he didn’t mince hairs. Flat out specified ‘killed’ a moment later. And then he said that he could help me with that. As casual as can be, like he was offering to help me with my taxes or something.”

 

“What was your impression of his state of mind?” Matt asked.

 

“His entire demeanor just… chilled me, right down to the bone. The look in his eyes when he was talking about Danny….” Joy shivered. “He was so calm and collected on the surface but there was something... manic in his eyes. Something… obsessive. My every instinct told me that he was dangerous. I couldn’t get back here fast enough. It was time, anyway,” she said, throwing Ward a look.

 

“You said before that you tried to give him the impression you were open to the idea until you could get away from him and return to New York. Do you think he believed you?” Jessica asked.

 

“Well, he said he’d contact me again at my hotel within two days, and that’s come and gone, so whether he believed me at the time or not, he’s likely aware by now that I left,” she said.

 

“So there’s every possibility that he’s on his way here himself, or even here already,” Jessica noted grimly.

 

“Is it safe to assume that you’re taking security precautions? Both of you?” Matt asked. “If he doesn’t think you’re going to help him he may just leave you alone, but we can’t assume that he won’t try to contact you again, or try to use you in some other way to get to Danny.”

 

“I’ve made arrangements for extra security,” Ward confirmed.

 

“Well, thank you for taking the time to talk with us,” Matt said as he and Jessica rose to their feet. “I think we have a better understanding of what we’re dealing with now.”

 

“Of course,” Joy said as she rose as well. “And I just wanted to say… I’m really glad that Danny has other… _special_  people he can turn to for help. That he can _trust_. I just feel… really terrible about so much of what happened before.”

 

“Joy-,” Ward began but she pushed forward.

 

“Especially everything that happened with Birch when he first came back, I wouldn’t blame him at all if he still had reservations about trusting us. I mean, even if it did turn out that Dad was behind the whole thing for his own purposes we still went along with it.…”

 

“Hang on… Birch? Birch Psychiatric Hospital?” Matt asked, frowning. Beside him he could sense Jessica tensing up as well.

 

“He… didn’t tell you?” Joy said. “Well, I guess he probably wouldn’t have seen a reason to. He was only there for a couple of days, but it’s mentioned in a lot of the press around his return to the city.”

 

“I have to confess I didn’t pay much attention to the press stories at the time,” Matt admitted, feeling guilty. When Foggy had first put Jessica’s case on his radar he’d been very intrigued by her and had done his research. Then… Elektra and The Hand and everything had happened and he’d never gotten around to doing the same for Danny and Luke. An oversight he’d definitely need to remedy, by the sounds of it.

 

“Danny painted a nice picture of it at the press conference,” Joy said with a sigh. “Saying that Ward and I ‘guided’ him to Birch because he was having trouble coping with his return.” Ward shifted uncomfortably in his seat but let her continue. “But the truth is… we… well, _I_ drugged him and we had him committed against his will.”

 

“Jesus,” Jessica muttered. Matt could only stand there in stunned silence for a moment.

 

“I didn’t really believe it was him, yet. Couldn’t imagine how it would be possible. I thought he must be just a delusional young man who really did need help. But it was still an awful thing to do,” Joy said sadly.

 

“I told you, Joy, you can’t blame yourself,” Ward finally interjected. “It was Dad’s plan, and unlike you, I certainly can’t claim any noble motives for my part in it. If Danny can forgive us and even lie to the press about it, then you should be able to forgive yourself.”

 

“Why _would_  Danny lie to the press about it?” Jessica asked sharply.

 

“Because he’s far kinder and much more forgiving than we deserve,” Joy said wistfully. “You know, he was the same when he was a kid, always a kind word for everyone, never holding a grudge over anything. There wasn’t a malicious bone in his body. I’m glad K’un Lun didn’t manage to kill that part of him.” Matt raised his eyebrows at that but Jessica spoke before he had a chance to.

 

“So… something finally convinced you of who he really was and you deigned to have him released?” she demanded.

 

“Well...,” Joy began before Ward interrupted her.

 

“He escaped,” he said with a sigh. “After I paid off an orderly and some patients to attack him, instead of doing what Harold had ordered me to do, which was to stash him away somewhere ‘safe’ until he might be useful.” He glanced up at them after another extended moment of heavy silence. “I won’t make any excuses. I was a different person then. It’s between me and Danny.” The statement had an air of finality to it.

 

“Well… thank you again for your time. Jessica?” Matt said, gesturing in the direction of the door. She stood there glowering for a moment longer before turning and stalking away. Matt followed more slowly, using his cane since Jessica seemed to have forgotten their normal public ruse in her anger. He paused in the doorway, another question niggling at the back of his mind. He turned back.

 

“Ms. Meachum? Danny’s talked to you about growing up in K’un Lun?” he asked.

 

“Some,” she replied, a note of hesitation in her voice. “It sounded… harsh.” He nodded grimly and moved to follow Jessica to the elevator. When he caught up with her she was jabbing impatiently at the down button. He focused his attention in Danny’s office for a moment, but he was still in deep meditation. Matt felt… uneasy, like they should at least speak to him before leaving, but it didn’t seem like a wise idea with Jessica so worked up.

 

“Are you okay?” he asked her. Megan was eyeing them curiously.

 

“Just peachy,” Jessica growled. The doors opened and they stepped inside. She jabbed the lobby button. They rode in silence for a few floors as he let her work through it. He had a lot to process himself.

 

“I’m just…,” she started. “I’m just thinking of every time I told him he was crazy. I mean, I mock him about it all the freaking time.”

 

“You do,” Matt agreed neutrally.

 

“And he always makes that… that hangdog face when I do it, but I never really thought of it beyond that, you know? But being _forcibly committed_ to a mental institution? That’s not a joke. Fuck. Can you imagine being drugged by someone you trusted and waking up in the _loony bin_?” she seethed.

 

“No, I can’t,” he said softly. “It must have been horrible.” So incredibly, unbelievably horrible. And yet Danny had forgiven them, had even lied about it for them. It was seeming more and more to him like Danny was amazing in ways that had nothing to do with the power of chi.

 

“Fuck, I’m such an asshole,” Jessica groaned. Matt contemplated that for a moment.

 

“It’s part of your charm,” he said lightly. He didn’t need enhanced senses to feel the weight of her glare. He smirked.

 

"You're an asshole, too," she muttered, but there was no real heat in it.

 

"It's part of _my_  charm," he agreed.

 

“Ugh,” she said, but he could feel the tension easing from her body. “Well, if nothing else, we’ve learned that ALL of Danny’s so-called friends _suck_.”

 

“His old friends, anyway,” Matt said absently as the elevator arrived and they stepped out into the lobby. They exited the building and joined the late afternoon throngs of pedestrians outside. “Though Danny’s been working at Rand with Ward for months now, so they’ve clearly come to some kind of reconciliation, and it’s obvious how eager he was to have Joy back in his life, too. They can’t be all bad.” Part of him couldn’t help but wonder how much Danny’s almost desperate need for friendship played into that, though. Just how much _would_  he forgive from someone he called friend? Yet another thought that was leaving him feeling uneasy.

 

“I guess he shows decent enough taste with Colleen and Claire,” Jessica sniffed. “But, man… one guy out to recruit people on a mission to kill him, and now this… though maybe I should have expected as much from people like the Meachums.”

 

“How so?” Matt asked, surprised.

 

“Cutthroat business types. They’re capable of anything. Hell, months before Danny showed up I worked a job for Joy, gathering dirt on Rand Enterprises’ board members. No particular reason at the time, she wanted it ‘just in case’,” Jessica sneered.

 

“That’s… quite the coincidence,” Matt said.

 

“Small world,” Jessica agreed. “Like your buddy Nelson ending up working for Hogarth’s firm, and Hogarth being involved with Danny. I couldn’t believe it when she told me she used to work for his father. And don’t even get me started about Claire.”

 

“Small world, indeed,” Matt muttered. There was a part of him that couldn’t help but feel that there might be something larger at play. God, fate, destiny… mystical ninjas. Who knew?

 

“But hell, throwing someone in a mental hospital like that is really freaking cold, no matter how you look at it. Even if he is a delusional weirdo who believes in mystic shit. And they couldn’t have at least sprung for a nice place? They put _dangerous criminals_ in Birch,” Jessica fumed.

 

“And if they had him drugged, he likely couldn’t summon his chi,” Matt mused. “Which is probably why he didn’t escape right away.” Damn. Unbelievably horrible, indeed.

 

“Drugged and helpless and locked up in the loony bin with real psychos. _Anything_  could have happened to him,” Jessica said. There was no mistaking the thread of tension in her voice.

 

“Is that some... big sister-type concern I’m sensing?” Matt couldn’t help but ask, smirking a little.

 

“What!?” Jessica snapped, bristling. “Of course not!” They navigated the crowded sidewalk silently for a few moments, her whole body radiating how much his comment had rattled her.

 

“You know… it’s not a betrayal of Philip, if you _were_  starting to feel that way,” he finally said. He hadn’t meant to upset her. It was easy to forget sometimes, how they _all_  had wounds that would probably always be at least a little raw.

 

“I know,” she said shortly. “It’s… it’s not the same, okay? And I don’t need you playing therapist, thanks. It’s Danny’s issues we’re talking about, not mine.” Matt sighed. Speaking of….

 

“The thing is… I think Danny may actually have legitimate psychological issues,” Matt said cautiously. “And I’m not referring to his belief in the mystic nature of his powers and whether that’s actually true or not, or even PTSD from the plane crash. At least not ‘just’ that. I’m… worried about him.”

 

“What do you mean?” Jessica asked.

 

“It’s what I was listening to earlier,” he explained. “After Danny had gone back into his office. He was talking to someone, but no one was there. And he was… upset.” Jessica was quiet for a moment as she mulled that over.

 

“I assume you’re sure he wasn’t on the phone? Or, you know, sometimes people just talk to themselves when they’re alone,” she ventured.

 

“He definitely wasn’t on the phone. And it sounded like he was responding to things someone else was saying. But no one was there. I get the feeling he was… was hearing someone.”

 

“You’re saying he was hearing voices that weren’t there and responding to them. You’re saying he was hallucinating,” Jessica stated bluntly.

 

“Yeah. Yeah, I think he might have been,” Matt agreed reluctantly.

 

“Well, shit,” Jessica said.

 

Matt couldn’t have expressed it better himself.

 

TBC

 

 


	6. Colleen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments and kudos on the last chapter! Feedback fuels my motivation!

After Danny left to go to Rand for the day, Colleen had a few classes to teach in the dojo. She’d only recently opened up lessons again so there weren’t many students yet, especially on a weekday morning, but she was still grateful for the distraction. But after the last class scheduled for the day ended at noon everything that had been going on came rushing back in again.

 

She had a quick, simple lunch and then sat at the small dinette table for a long time afterwards, slowly sipping a cup of tea. She stared unseeingly into the distance, her mind awash with troubling thoughts, and tried to figure out what to do. But as the last dregs of her tea turned cold in the bottom of her mug, things hadn’t become any clearer.

 

She didn’t know what to _do_.

 

And it scared her.

 

 _Danny_ was scaring her. Or at least, he was making her scared _for_ him.

 

She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know how to _help_ him. Things had been fragile enough before, but now with _Davos_ of all people showing up to cause trouble…. What if it was too much? What if it… what if it pushed Danny over the edge, somehow?

 

_What if she lost him?_

 

The very thought made her feel cold right down to her bones. Made something awful crawl up her spine and cloud her brain with desperation. She couldn’t lose Danny. She _couldn’t_.

 

Colleen rose to rinse out her mug in the sink, and then retrieved her phone from the bedside table. She stared at it in her hand for a long moment, chewing her lip indecisively. Though her pride hated the very thought of what she was contemplating, she could no longer deny that she was completely overwhelmed. But… would it be like going behind Danny’s back? Would it be a betrayal of his trust?

 

Her eyes rose to look at the empty spot in the dojo where the practice dummy had stood until earlier that morning. Danny had cleaned up the debris before he’d left, looking incredibly guilty and apologizing all over again as he’d done so. Her resolve hardened, despite her lingering guilt and uneasiness.

 

Danny needed help. _She_ needed help. She dialled Claire’s number.

 

~~~

 

Barely an hour later, Claire and Luke were seated at the dinette table with her, fresh mugs of tea in front of all of them.

 

Colleen eyed Luke speculatively. She’d originally intended to speak with Claire alone, but Claire had suggested that since Luke was free he should be included as well. After all, if they wanted the team to work, they had to communicate with each other. Colleen had grudgingly conceded the point. She had been cautiously optimistic about the whole ‘team’ concept, knowing how much Danny craved friendship, and how much he liked and admired the other ‘special’ people they had met. But she still had some reservations. Part of her couldn’t get past the fact that they had once knocked Danny out and kept him tied to a chair. That the fiasco had resulted in him being captured by the enemy made it even worse.

 

But if Danny could look past it, then she certainly should be able to. She hoped Danny’s faith in them wasn’t ill-founded. In any case, she was at the end of her rope trying to cope with things alone. And if anything was worth risking a leap of faith for, it was Danny’s well-being.

 

“Thank you for coming,” Colleen began, but then faltered. Now that they were actually sitting across from her, she wasn’t sure what to say, or where to begin. She’d been vague with Claire on the phone, just saying that she needed to talk to her about Danny. Claire seemed to sense her predicament, and reached out to give her hand a squeeze.

 

“Any time, hon,” she said. “This is what this is supposed to be about, being here for each other. Now… you said this was about Danny. Did something happen after we all left last night?” she prompted.

 

“This morning,” Colleen said, releasing a tense sigh. This was it. She was really going to lay it all out on the table. “He… woke me up early because he lashed out at one of the practice dummies and smashed it to splinters.” Claire and Luke both winced.

 

“I’m sorry to hear that. It’s… not unusual for him to lash out like that when he’s stressed, right?” Claire said carefully, like she suspected there was more.

 

“Yeah. His ‘temper’ that so many people like to give him a hard time about,” Colleen replied, unable to keep a note of bitterness out of her voice. To her it was painfully obvious that his sometimes explosive anger was just another symptom of the pain he was carrying with him and constantly trying to suppress. “But it’s the specific reason for this outburst that I’m… concerned about.” Her breath froze in her lungs. She _needed_ to tell them. But she didn’t want to. She was struck with a sudden fear that instead of helping, they and the others would abandon them completely once they knew.

 

“Colleen,” Claire said softly. “You can trust us.” Luke nodded in agreement, a worried expression on his face. Colleen grit her teeth. It was what she’d asked them here for, after all.

 

“He… he was hearing his old teacher Lei Kung’s voice,” she said in a rush. “He was hearing him say… say terrible things to him, and it upset him until he lashed out.” She felt strangely light-headed all of a sudden. It seemed unreal that the words were actually out there, that she’d actually said them.

 

“Hearing him,” Claire said, exchanging a look with Luke. “You’re talking about a full-fledged hallucination?” Colleen nodded and Claire sat back in her chair, chewing her lip contemplatively. “And… it wasn’t the first time something like that has happened, I take it?”

 

“No,” Colleen said miserably. She grasped her mug tightly to keep her hands from shaking.

 

“Damn,” Luke muttered, rubbing a hand over his face. Colleen glanced at him sharply, looking for any sign of judgement or derision, but could see only genuine concern.

 

“I think you’d better tell us everything, hon,” Claire said gently. Colleen sighed wearily.

 

“A few months ago, I came home and found Danny having a one-sided conversation alone in the dojo. He was… agitated, and it was clear from what he was saying that whatever he was hearing was upsetting him,” Colleen said, remembering her fear and confusion that day. “He… he was so _ashamed_ when he realized I was there, hearing everything. At first he didn’t want to talk about it… but I was so freaked out I insisted. I was _worried_ about him.” She took a deep breath. “He finally admitted that he had been seeing Lei Kung, and that he could hear him talking to him. Well, _berating_ him would probably be a better word. He said… he said it had been happening for _years_. Sometimes he just hears things, but sometimes he sees the person talking to him, too.”

 

“Sweet Christmas,” Claire said, her eyes wide.

 

“It’s… it’s been happening for years?” Luke asked with a frown.

 

“That’s what he said. Honestly, it freaked me out a little how… _normal_ he seemed to think it was, at least when it came to himself,” she admitted. “Though he does know that it’s _not_ typical for other people, which is why he was so embarrassed.”

 

“He treats them like they’re just a fact of his life?” Claire asked.

 

“Yes. When I asked how he dealt with them he said he usually just did his best to ignore them until they went away, but admitted that that didn’t always work,” Colleen replied. “It was about as much as I could get him to say, and he was just so uncomfortable talking about it… I didn’t want to push any more. And… I was so scared and confused I didn’t really want to talk about it more, either.” Her face flushed red with shame. “I did my best to hide how freaked out I was, because I knew how scared he was that I’d judge him or that my feelings for him would change. So I played it calm and accepting, even though I was… I was _scared._ Not of him, but _for_ him.” She put her face in her hands, fighting back the long held-back tears that were wanting to come out with the long held-back words.

 

“Oh, honey,” Claire said, reaching across the table to rub her shoulder. “There is no shame in being scared. This is a _hell_ of a heavy thing to deal with, especially in a person you love.”

 

“I… I feel like I’m betraying him by even telling you,” Colleen confessed. “Because I know how much it embarrasses him. Even now, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t tell me every time it happens. Only when there’s evidence, like this morning with the practice dummy.”

 

“It’s not a betrayal to ask friends for help,” Luke stated firmly. “Especially with something so serious. Do you think it happens often?” he asked.

 

“It’s hard to say,” Colleen replied. “Like I said, he doesn’t always tell me. But sometimes I’ll notice him suddenly tense or… or _flinch_ , and something tells me that it’s because he’s hearing or seeing something. And… I think it happens more when he’s already stressed. I think maybe they’re more… _intense_ or something then, too. As in harder for him to just ignore? But I don’t know for sure.”

 

“Davos being on a vendetta to kill him certainly counts as a highly stressful situation,” Claire said grimly. “You know… I think I heard him talking to a hallucination once, back when he was preparing to answer that challenge to get Radovan’s daughter back? I came into the dojo and heard him talking. When I asked who he was talking to, he just… ignored the question. I just brushed it off at the time. I wish I hadn’t.”

 

“Well, it’s not like Danny doesn’t have a lot of… quirky behaviour,” Luke said.

 

“A lot of that ‘quirky’ behaviour can be traced back to childhood trauma,” Claire said, a little sharply. Luke looked appropriately abashed. “Post-traumatic stress disorder from the plane crash is pretty much a given and should be obvious to anyone. But I suspect he also has complex PTSD from growing up in K’un Lun.”

 

“What’s the difference?” Luke asked.

 

“PTSD generally evolves from a single traumatic event, a plane crash being a perfect example. _Complex_ PTSD is a term used for when the trauma is prolonged or repeated over a long period of time. Things like combat, any type of prolonged captivity, long-term domestic violence, long-term child abuse…. People who have suffered sustained trauma like that can evolve additional symptoms to those seen in regular PTSD,” Claire explained.

 

“You think K’un Lun was that bad?” Luke asked, appalled.

 

“I do,” Claire stated firmly. “First of all, he may as well have been a captive, since he couldn’t leave. Even if K’un Lun was paradise, that alone would have been a traumatic thing for _any_ child to adjust to, even if they hadn’t just survived a plane crash and witnessed their parents’ deaths.”

 

“He told us that story about how he kept trying to escape at first,” Colleen suddenly remembered. “And he said he thought he could hear his mother’s voice calling out in the snow. Could it have already started that early?”

 

“It’s possible,” Claire said. “And clearly K’un Lun _wasn’t_ paradise. I can’t say anything for sure, since he so rarely talks about it aside from little anecdotes, but I think it’s reasonable to conclude that he was both physically and psychologically abused while growing up there. All under the guise of ‘training’, I suspect, but abuse is abuse.”

 

“Damn,” Luke said, clearly aghast.

 

“I’ve suspected as much, too,” Colleen said sadly. “Things he’ll say or do sometimes. His reactions to certain things. And… once he struck a student in the dojo.” Claire and Luke’s eyes widened in surprise. “It was right after I’d first met him… the student was mouthing off, and Danny just lashed out. Said he was being disrespectful. I yelled at him and explained how the dojo was supposed to be a safe place, and it seemed like a pretty foreign concept to him. I have no doubt that corporal punishment was used for discipline during his training, and that it could be very… harsh. And, well, it’s hard to imagine another explanation for why hallucinations of his teacher are so upsetting to him.”

 

“It makes absolute sense that if the hallucinations are coming from complex PTSD that they would be tied to the trauma that caused it,” Claire said. She leaned back in her chair, looking thoughtful. “Davos is Lei Kung’s son, right? I remember him telling me once that ‘a weapon doesn’t know feelings’. That’s the kind of brutal training _that_ guy was dishing out.”

 

“That’s an awfully rude thing to say about my father. He’s a great man.”

 

All three of them jumped to their feet and turned towards where the voice had come from, through the doorway that led from the living area into the dojo.

 

Davos.

 

Colleen’s breath caught in her throat at the sight of him, standing casual as could be in the middle of her dojo. He looked quite different than the last time she’d seen him, wearing expensive-looking clothes and a placid smile on his clean-shaven face. His posture was relaxed, his hands in his pockets. There was no sign of a weapon, though she knew he was perfectly capable of inflicting damage without one.

 

“What are you doing here?” she demanded as she, Claire and Luke edged out into the dojo and spread out around him. He seemed completely unconcerned about their approach or the fact that he was outnumbered.

 

“Is that any way to greet an old friend? I see your manners haven’t improved any since we last saw each other,” Davos replied, never losing his smile.

 

“You’re not my friend,” she said. “What do you want?”

 

“True, I’d never be friends with scum from the Hand,” Davos said. Colleen grit her teeth in anger. Davos’ smile widened. Luke and Claire were eyeing him warily. “But I’m an old friend of Danny’s, and he lives here, too. You’d think that deserves at least a little basic courtesy.”

 

“Last we heard, you wanted Danny dead. Talk about a lack of courtesy,” Luke said, his eyes narrowed. Davos turned his gaze on him, his eyes glittering.

 

“I don’t believe we’ve been properly introduced. You’re Luke Cage, correct? Danny has gathered quite the little group of superfriends, hasn’t he? Who would have thought he had it in him,” Davos chuckled. He strolled over to the window and looked out for a moment. Colleen exchanged puzzled glances with Luke and Claire. She took the opportunity of his back being turned to edge over to where her katana was and picked it up. She felt better with the weight of it in her hand.

 

“You know it’s funny, Danny was terrible at making friends in K’un Lun,” Davos said, turning back to them. Though his expression was still calm, Colleen could see something dark and malevolent shining in his eyes. It made her blood run cold.

 

“Well, if you were the best K’un Lun had to offer, he was probably better off,” Claire muttered. Davos’ gaze swept to her for a moment before he continued.

 

“He was such a weak and pathetic child, you see,” he said, his smile widening. “An _outsider_. Always crying and weeping about his parents, about wanting to go home. So tedious. None of us wanted anything to do with him. I was angry when my father told me that as the son of the head of the monastery school, it was my duty to take him under my wing. I didn’t think there was any possibility that he could handle the training.” He paused, his eyes sweeping over them, seeming to revel in the anger clear on all their faces. “In fact, he was so weak and pathetic that the first time he was disciplined I didn’t think he’d live through it,” he added with a smirk. “Some of the older students took bets.”

 

“You bastard,” Colleen seethed, rage boiling her blood. Davos took on an air of mock offence, never losing his smirk.

 

“What? I never placed a wager myself. And he obviously managed to surprise everyone and pull through. And the time after that, and the time after that, and so on. In fact, Danny threw himself into the training and slowly began to improve, and then flourish, beyond what anyone would have thought possible. Perhaps having all the other students out to beat the hell out of him on a daily basis was a powerful motivator,” Davos laughed. “In any case, it started to become clear to me that maybe there was more to the pitiful runt than met the eye. Maybe he could be… useful. And so I came to accept him as my brother.” Davos’ grin at that was sharp and full of teeth.

 

“Useful?” Luke growled, raising an eyebrow. Davos’ grin widened even further.

 

“Well, for one thing, when someone is so desperate for a friendly face, so lonely for some human companionship, they can be quite... _malleable_ to the person willing to provide it,” Davos leered. “Tell me, Colleen, does he still get that faraway, glazed look in his eyes after he comes?”

 

Colleen felt like she’d been socked in the stomach. Claire had gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. Luke looked floored. Davos ignored them, staring straight at her with that wide leer as if he wanted to savour every nuance of her reaction to his… insinuation. Was he lying, perhaps, just to get the reaction? She desperately wished that were the case but as she stared back into his manic eyes something deep down in her bones told her that there was at least a bit of truth to what he had said. Her stomach twisted.

 

_Why hadn’t Danny told her?_

 

That was the thing. She felt _sure_ that he would have, that they loved and trusted each other enough not to hide things. Unless….

 

Unless.

 

“What…,” she began, her fingers white-knuckled where they gripped her katana. “What did you _do_ to him?” She wouldn’t have thought it possible but his leer widened even further, his eyes glittering with the knowledge of what she’d realized. The bastard was _glorying_ in it.

 

“Well, now this looks like a party,” a voice drawled from the doorway leading from the dojo to the building hallway. “And nobody invited us? My feelings are hurt. What about yours, Murdock?”

 

“I may never recover,” another voice answered drily.

 

Colleen turned her gaze to the newcomers. Jessica and Matt, looking deceptively relaxed as they stood near the door and each took in the room and evaluated the situation in their own way.

 

“Though I guess now that we’re here, the party can _really_ get going,” Jessica said with a dangerous looking smirk.

 

“No party for me, I’m afraid. I was just leaving,” Davos said mildly.

 

“As if we’d just let you walk away,” Colleen growled, taking a step forward.

 

“And what cause do you have to stop me? I have done nothing wrong,” Davos said, amused.

 

“You told Joy Meachum you wanted to ‘help’ her kill Danny,” Jessica said flatly.

 

“I’m afraid Ms. Meachum may have been… overwrought during our conversation,” Davos smirked. “She is not recalling things correctly. Even so, are words alone a crime?”

 

“He’s right,” Matt said reluctantly. “Unless any of you heard him utter a threat, there isn’t anything he can be arrested for, at least not yet.”

 

“What about Joy? She heard him threaten Danny,” Colleen demanded.

 

“In France,” Matt said. “NYPD can’t arrest him for that.”

 

“We really have to let him walk?” Luke growled. Davos smiled at him, his face smug.

 

“Unless you want kidnapping to be part of our regular modus operandi, then I’m afraid so,” Matt said with a frown.

 

“Well this has been great fun,” Davos said, strolling towards the door. The bastard hadn’t even taken his hands out of his pockets. “We must do it again sometime.” Colleen took another step forward but Claire rushed to put a restraining hand on her arm. Colleen glared at her but allowed it. When Davos reached the doorway, where Jessica still blocked the exit, he simply gazed at her serenely until Matt tugged on her arm and she reluctantly stepped aside. “Tell Danny I’ll be seeing him _real_ soon,” Davos called over his shoulder, and then he was gone.

  


TBC

  



	7. Danny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for the comments and kudos, they are very much appreciated!

Danny wished he could say that the time he’d spent meditating had left him feeling as refreshed as it normally did, but it would be a lie. He certainly felt calmer than he had, but that was about all he could claim. Mostly he was feeling… flat, somehow. Thin and stretched out.

 

 _You’re just tired,_ he told himself as he shrugged his suit jacket back on. _Really, really tired. Nothing you haven’t pushed through before._ He rubbed a hand wearily over his face. Putting his tie back on didn’t seem worth the effort that late in the day so he rolled it up and stuffed it into his jacket pocket.

 

He buzzed through on the intercom to Megan and confirmed that Joy and Ward were finally free and able to see him. After the long day of anticipation he suddenly felt nervous.

 

_"They’re not your family. Joy said so herself. You’ll always be an outsider to them. To everyone."_

 

Danny froze at the sound of Davos’ voice. He looked around warily but saw no visual sign of him. Even so, it was… worrying. It had been a long time since these… _incidents_ had been so frequent.

 

_"You’re nothing but a burden to them. They wish you’d never come back."_

 

Danny took a deep, centering breath and then set out for Ward’s office. He would _not_ lose the tenuous calm he’d achieved while meditating. He could ignore the voice, and eventually it would stop. He’d managed it before, plenty of times. _You’re fine,_ he told himself. _Everything is_ **_fine_** _._

 

His resolve faltered a little when Ward waved him inside and he was greeted by a vision of Davos standing over by the wet bar, smirking at him. Joy rose to greet him, and he was surprised when she pulled him into a hug, but accepted it gratefully, even as Davos leered at him over her shoulder.

 

“I’m sorry we’ve been so busy today. Ward and I had an awful lot of things to hash out, but I really wanted to talk to you properly, too, not just that fly-by at the dojo last night,” Joy said as they all sat down.

 

“You know, I’ll never understand why you’re _living_ there,” Ward commented. “You have a perfectly good penthouse, with high-tech security. Why don’t you and Colleen live there? She can run the dojo without sleeping there.”

 

“We’re happy at the dojo,” Danny said easily. It was an old argument of Ward’s and there was no heat in it. “It’s been her home for a long time. And she’s _my_ home.” Ward rolled his eyes at his sentimentality, but he was smiling a little.

 

 _"The whore from the Hand has sunk her claws in you to the bone. And you were only too willing to be deceived,"_ the vision of Davos sneered. Danny grit his teeth but otherwise ignored him.

“Speaking of homes, I was thinking that if you were interested, I could transfer the Gramercy Park house to your name,” Joy said. “It was originally your parents’ house and under normal circumstances it would have gone to you.”

 

“Wow, Joy, that’s very generous,” Danny said, surprised. “But it’s been your home for years. I wouldn’t dream of taking it away from you.” Joy smiled, nodding in understanding.

 

“Anyway, as I mentioned, Ward and I had a lot of things we needed to discuss, just the two of us,” Joy said. “I had a lot of time to think while I was away. It was the whole point of leaving, after all. I needed time to clear my head after everything that had happened. And, well, I realized how unfairly I’d treated Ward.” She looked over at her brother and he returned her smile. Danny felt his heart swell with genuine happiness. He’d seen how heavily Joy’s absence had been weighing on Ward and he’d feared their relationship had been forever destroyed.

 

 _"They have each other. They don’t need the likes of_ **you** ," Davos said. Danny clenched his fists but managed to smile at Joy and Ward encouragingly.

 

“So I finally let him fully explain his side of the story,” Joy continued. “About the Hand and Dad’s manipulations and everything he went through living under his thumb.” She reached out and took Ward’s hand. “I think when we lose our parents so young we sometimes cling to this idealized version of them in our heads. I certainly did. But I know now… Harold was a monster.” She closed her eyes, her expression pained until Ward gave her hand a supportive squeeze. She smiled at him before continuing. “And though he certainly made some bad decisions, Ward was living under such stress and duress… his mistakes are understandable. _Forgivable_. And, well, we’re wiping the slate clean. A fresh start, with no lies or deception.”

 

“That’s great, Joy! I’m so happy for you guys,” Danny gushed.

 

“Ward said you two have talked out your issues, too,” Joy said.

 

“I said ‘more or less’ talked out our issues,” Ward interjected wryly.

 

“That sounds about right,” Danny agreed with a sardonic smile. He and Ward had indeed had a few conversations about everything that had happened. Long conversations that had often become quite heated at times. But they were getting along, more or less. He agreed with Joy’s assessment, that a great deal of Ward’s previous behaviour had its roots in being forced to live under Harold’s thumb for so many years, with no one to share the burden. The changes that Ward had undergone the past few months, free from Harold’s influence and in treatment for his drug addiction, were remarkable. They’d probably never be on exactly the same wavelength, and still often had disagreements, but things were... okay.

 

 _"He’s not your brother._ **_I_ ** _am your only brother,"_ Davos seethed. He had moved behind Joy and Ward’s chairs, his sneer replaced by a glowering scowl. Danny twitched a little but kept smiling.

 

“Well, you’ve been working here together and haven’t killed each other, I call that a win,” Joy said with a smile. “Megan’s been keeping me apprised of major developments, of course, and Ward’s filled in some details. I hear a lot of your time has been spent on this new foundation you’ve been setting up?”

 

“Yeah!” Danny said, brightening again. “The situation at the Staten Island plant was kind of the inspiration. We already have people working on beefing up the reporting procedures and safety precautions at all our plants worldwide, to prevent any issues from reaching that critical a situation again. But I was also thinking that it would be good to have emergency funds already in place for contingencies. Not just to offset the cost to the company of any possible shutdowns, but also to cover medical expenses for anyone who may have been affected by our negligence. No one would ever have to go so far as to sue or prove their case in court. Any reasonable claim would be accepted and the medical costs covered from those funds, no argument.”

 

“You should have seen it the day he brought it to the board,” Ward chuckled. “I think they finally relented just to shut him up.”

 

“I was… overly enthusiastic,” Danny conceded. Joy laughed.

 

“I can well imagine,” she said. “But it _is_ a good idea. The goodwill from the public would likely far outweigh the costs. And… I like the idea of moving the company in a more caring, socially responsible direction.”

 

“Then you’ll love this,” Ward said. “The emergency funds for company-related health issues are only one aspect of it. Once he had the ball rolling he got all sorts of ideas. The foundation’s going to have its fingers in all kinds of charitable causes, from wildlife conservation to battered women’s shelters. The funding’s a percentage tied to Rand’s profit margin. It’s actually a pretty sizable chunk, which some of the board members weren’t too keen on.” His smile was just a touch gleeful. Danny had a feeling that Ward had taken a liking to watching him rile up the board, though he’d probably never admit it.

 

“That’s quite impressive,” Joy said. Danny beamed at the praise.

 

 _"THEY ARE NOT YOUR FAMILY!"_ Davos yelled, suddenly much closer. Danny couldn’t suppress a flinch.

 

“Are you okay?” Joy asked, frowning.

 

“Y-yeah, I’m fine,” Danny said. “It… it all just came from wanting Rand to do more to help people. The company’s so vast and has so many resources. We could be doing more.”

 

“Well, I’m sure your father would be very proud of what you’re doing with the company,” Joy said. Danny smiled, but couldn’t help but wonder, especially after Joy’s earlier comment about having idealized versions of one’s parents. It was something he’d been thinking about more and more often. How well had he really known his parents? His father hadn’t just been Harold’s business partner, he’d been his best friend. How much had they been alike? Had his father had a hidden darkness in him, too?

 

And... what _would_ his parents think of him, if they could see him now?

 

 _"They would be ashamed_ ," Davos hissed. _"_ _Do you think they wanted a warrior for a child?"_

 

“I… I hope you’re right, Joy,” Danny said.

 

 _"A pathetic failure of a warrior, at that,"_ Davos continued. Danny clenched his fists again.

 

“He was a good man, Danny. Of course he would be proud,” Joy said, as if sensing his uncertainty. He smiled at her weakly and her eyes widened a little in shared realization. She would have said the same about her own father not that long ago.

 

“How… how did your talk with Jessica and Matt go?” Danny asked, desperate to change the subject. He didn’t want to think about his parents anymore. Not when things already felt so… fragile.

 

Not that Davos was exactly a safe topic, either.

 

“It went well, I think,” Joy said. “I’m so sorry that that whole thing is happening, Danny. I can’t imagine how you’re feeling. You and he were close, right?”

 

 _"Yes, Danny, tell her how_ **_close_ ** _we were,"_ Davos leered. He’d moved again, to stand right next to Danny’s chair. Danny forced himself not to acknowledge him, though it was getting harder.

 

“He… he was my best friend,” Danny said, ignoring Davos’ derisive snort. “I… I know he was angry that I left K’un Lun without telling him. He had every right to be. But to think he’d be going around, trying to… to….” He swallowed back the tide of emotion that was threatening to overwhelm him. “ _I’m_ the one who’s sorry, that he dragged you into it like this.”

 

“Well, I mentioned it to the others earlier, but I don’t think he’s working alone. He’s clearly getting money from somewhere. Maybe someone’s… exerting influence somehow? Pulling his strings?” Joy suggested.

 

“Maybe,” Danny agreed softly, though he doubted it. Davos was one of the most headstrong people he knew. It was difficult to imagine him being manipulated into doing anything he didn’t want to do.

 

 _"Unlike you, you weak-willed coward,"_ Davos sneered. Danny rubbed his temples tiredly.

 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Ward asked.

 

“You look really pale,” Joy noted with concern.

 

 _"Yes, Danny, are you okay?"_ Davos asked mockingly, right into his ear. " _Or are you going to start snivelling like the pathetic child you really are?"_ Danny shot to his feet, causing Ward and Joy to jump in surprise.

 

“I’m okay,” Danny said a little dazedly. “Just a little tired.” Davos was laughing and the sound seemed to fill the room, seemed to fill his whole mind. “But it has been kind of a long day,” he continued, not realizing that his voice was unconsciously creeping up in volume to compensate. “I should probably wrap some things up in my office and then head home.”

 

“Uh… okay,” Joy said, exchanging a concerned look with Ward. “If you need anything you know how to reach us. And let’s get together for dinner soon, okay? I want this fresh start to be for all of us, not just me and Ward.”

 

 _"She doesn’t mean it_ , _"_ Davos hissed as Danny nodded at her with a strained smile.

 

“I really am glad you’re back, Joy. And I look forward to dinner.” With that he practically fled the office, leaving Joy and Ward looking vaguely bewildered. Davos followed on his heels, spewing a litany of verbal abuse. He barely managed to summon a smile for a worried-looking Megan before retreating into his own office and shutting the door behind him.

 

Only to turn and find Lei Kung once again standing silhouetted against the window, glowering at him.

 

Danny could only stare, his hands clenched into fists at his sides, feeling something brittle inside him threatening to shatter and give way.

 

 _"Poor little orphan. Are you going to cry? Will Father have to punish you again?"_ Davos sneered, his voice right next to Danny’s ear.

 

His legs suddenly didn’t have the strength to hold him. He slid down the door behind him until he was seated on the floor. He rubbed both hands over his face wearily and when he looked again, several more yellow-robed figures were standing with Lei Kung. Other teachers from the monastery school, all staring at him with hard, disapproving eyes.

 

And all tightly gripping bo staffs in their hands.

 

Danny moaned, dropping his face back into his hands as Davos’ laughter rang out all around him, almost in counterpoint to Lei Kung’s deep voice, which began a diatribe listing his many faults, promising dire punishments for his shortcomings. He was trembling a little, and he realized it was from fear. Which was insane. They weren’t really there. He _knew_ they weren’t really there. _(_ _Didn’t he?)_ They couldn’t touch him, couldn’t hurt him. ( _Could they?_ ) And even if they could, he was the Iron Fist. He was a strong warrior. Pain was nothing to him, not anymore.

 

So why was he so _afraid_?

 

He moved his hands to cover his ears, trying to block out the cacophony, but he couldn’t block out what was coming from inside his own head.

 

“Stop, stop, _please_ stop,” he whispered desperately. Everything was falling apart, _he_ was falling apart, he was going to shatter into a million pieces if it just didn’t _stop…._

 

No.

 

No, he couldn’t do this. He couldn’t fall apart in his father’s office. Especially over things that weren’t even really _there._ He had to pull himself together.

 

Shakily, he climbed back to his feet. Forcibly ignoring everything else around him he made his way over to the wet bar and retrieved a bottle of water from the mini fridge beneath it. He slowly drank the whole thing, taking frequent pauses for deep, centering breaths, willing the tension out of his body. By the time the bottle was empty, the room was quiet. He looked around a little warily, but he was alone. Though he still felt precariously off balance, he heaved a sigh of relief, leaning on the counter with both hands.

 

 _"You’ll never escape me, brother,"_  Davos’ voice said right into his ear. " _You’re_ **_mine_** _."_

 

With an inarticulate yell Danny upended the tray of crystal glasses and decanters that he’d never bothered to have filled, sending glass shattering all over the floor. As Davos’ mocking laughter echoed around him he spun and punched the wall. Once. Twice. Again and again, until someone’s desperate pleas for him to stop finally broke through and then he stood panting, staring at the hole he’d just made in the wall, the throbbing in his hand feeling distant and unreal.

 

It was Megan who was talking to him, guiding him over to sit on the couch before returning with ice and a cloth to wrap around his injured hand. He let himself be moved like a doll unresistingly, lost in a daze. Eventually her voice began to penetrate the fog in his mind and resolve into actual words.

 

“... please, Danny, please talk to me, you’re really scaring me,” she was saying. She sounded close to tears.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said without looking at her, his voice sounding as distant and unreal to him as the pain in his hand felt. “I didn’t mean to bother you.”

“ _Bother_ me?” she said incredulously. “Danny, I’m _worried_ about you. I… I think you need some help. And you definitely need a doctor to look at your hand.”

 

Danny looked down at where blood was seeping through the cloth she’d used to wrap his hand. He must have split his knuckles pretty badly. He tried to flex his fingers but needles of sharp pain made themselves known through the numbness of the ice and his own sense of strange detachment from his body. Broken bones, probably. Nothing to get upset about.

 

He rose to his feet again and she hovered as if unsure of what he might do.

 

“Could you… get someone in to fix the wall?” he asked vaguely, looking at the sizable hole again. “And to clean the glass?”

 

“Danny. That’s not important right now. You need a _doctor_ ,” Megan said insistently.

 

“Did I disturb anybody else?” he asked, her words barely registering. Everything felt… distant.

 

“It’s after five, no one else is still here. Joy and Ward left after your meeting. I was about to head out myself when… when I heard….,” her voice trailed off, sounding close to tears again.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said again. “You.. you can just go home. I’m… I’m going to go….” He moved toward the door.

 

“Danny, _please_. You’re… you’re not yourself right now. I don’t think you should be alone. You need _help._ ” Megan said.

 

 _“You need help.”_ The words penetrated a bit more clearly into his mind. He realized she’d said it earlier, too. _“I think you need some help.”_

 

He knew what that meant.

 

 _"She knows_ , _"_ Davos’ voice sneered. " _She knows you’re crazy. They’re ALL going to know. They’re going to lock you up forever."_

 

Ignoring the rest of Megan’s protests, Danny walked out of the office feeling kind of like he was walking through a dream.

 

Or maybe it was a nightmare.

 

TBC


	8. Luke

Luke watched the man leave the dojo, feeling completely off-kilter from the strange encounter. He hadn’t been sure what to expect from this Davos character, but it certainly hadn’t been that sharply-dressed man who had been far too calm and genial while spouting off things that had clearly been meant to upset them.

 

“We… we can’t just let him go,” Colleen was once again saying to Claire, making a move to push past her. The other woman wouldn’t let her.

 

“You heard Matt. He hasn’t actually done anything yet,” Claire said, clearly no happier about it than Colleen.

 

“You heard what he _said_!” Colleen yelled. “That _bastard_! I’m… I’m going to _kill_ him!”

 

“He was goading you!” Claire said. “We can’t trust anything he said.” Luke could see the doubt on her face, though.

 

He was feeling the same doubt himself. Davos had obviously been trying to provoke a reaction. But that didn’t necessarily mean he’d been lying. Sometimes the most effective and painful weapon one could wield was the truth, or at least a hint of it. There had been something in the man’s eyes… like he’d felt all the more gratified knowing he didn’t even have to lie to hurt them. Luke’s stomach twisted at the implications. The thought of something like that having happened to Danny….

 

“Matt, you had to have heard him for awhile before you guys actually showed up at the door,” Luke said. “Could you tell if he was lying?”

 

“If he was, he’s a master at it,” Matt said. “His heart rate was a bit elevated but I think it was because he was… enjoying himself.”

 

“Okay, normal-hearing person here who _wasn’t_ in the room until the end of it. What exactly are you debating about?” Jessica asked, glancing up from where she had been quickly typing away on her phone ever since Davos had left.

 

“Davos made some… insinuations,” Luke said uncomfortably. Damn, but he hoped it wasn’t true.

 

Jessica’s typing froze and she looked up to stare at him intently.

 

“What the fuck do you mean, ‘ _insinuations’?_ ” she demanded.

 

“Fuck ‘insinuations’,” Colleen snarled. “That bastard all but flat-out _said_ he took advantage of Danny. That he… he _manipulated_ him into sex. He was _gloating_.”

 

Luke didn’t really have the words to describe the look that came over Jessica’s face, except maybe to say that it was _terrifying_. Suddenly she turned as if to leave but Matt quickly moved to block her path.

 

“I know you’re upset,” he said, not unkindly. “We all are, and I know it strikes a particularly painful nerve for you. But we need to stay level-headed if we’re going to help Danny. We can’t go off half-cocked and just start murdering people, especially since we don’t know all the facts. It’s still possible that he was flat-out lying. Or there could be an element of truth that he was exaggerating to make it sound worse. Or it could even be that things did happen between them but they were completely consensual. _We don’t know yet."_

 

She stared at him for a moment before turning away, cursing.

 

“Even if we can’t do anything to him, maybe one of us should still follow him?” Luke suggested.

 

“Working on it,” Jessica gritted out. She raised her phone and resumed typing, anger radiating from her whole body. “I’ve sent the picture Danny got for me earlier to a contact who can access CCTV feeds. With a location and time to start from they can try to track his movements from here back to wherever he’s staying.”

 

Colleen had turned away to stalk over to face the rack of practice swords in the corner, her arms folded tightly over her chest. There was a trembling to her shoulders that suggested she was struggling to control herself. Claire looked after her helplessly for a moment before turning back to the others.

 

“What are you guys doing here, anyway? Not that your timing wasn’t great,” she asked.

 

“Jessica wanted to question Colleen more about Davos,” Matt said wryly. “You’re on her interview list, too, Claire, since you’d also met him before.” He paused, heaving a weary sigh. “But that’s not all. It’s actually pretty lucky you and Luke are here. We were at Rand earlier to see Joy and there’s things we need to discuss. About Danny.” Luke exchanged an uneasy glance with Claire.

 

“Did something happen?” Luke asked.

 

“Matt heard Danny talking to someone while he was alone in his office and believes he was hallucinating,” Jessica said flatly, clearly in no mood to beat around the bush.

 

“Damn,” Claire said, raising a hand to rub at her temple wearily. Colleen turned back towards them sharply. Her eyes were red, though there were no tears on her face.

 

“It happened again?” she asked, looking stricken.

 

“Somehow I suspected this wouldn’t be shocking news to you, Colleen,” Matt said grimly. “But you two don’t exactly seem surprised, either.”

 

“It’s actually why _we’re_ here,” Luke said. “Colleen called Claire earlier, wanting to talk. She told us Danny’s been having hallucinations for years. She’s worried because they seem to be worse when he’s stressed, and, well, he’s pretty damned stressed right now. There was an… incident here early this morning.”

 

“What happened at Rand? Is he okay?” Colleen asked.

 

“He was okay when we left, he was meditating,” Matt reassured her. “Before that I heard him speaking as if he was responding to someone else. Whatever it was, it was clearly upsetting him, until he yelled and slammed his fists on his desk. His assistant heard and went in to check on him, but he told her he was okay. That was when he started meditating.”

 

“So that’s at least two incidents today,” Claire said, exchanging another worried look with Luke.

 

“Since you guys have already been discussing this, got any theories?” Matt asked.

 

“I suspect it’s linked to complex PTSD from childhood trauma,” Claire said.

 

“The plane crash?” Jessica asked.

 

“Yes. And also prolonged exposure to physical and psychological abuse,” Claire said firmly.

 

“K’un Lun?” Matt asked grimly.

 

“K’un Lun,” Claire confirmed. “Earlier Davos pretty much confirmed that beatings were used as discipline. He also said the older kids liked to beat up on Danny, that it was the motivation for him working so hard at his training. I know I just said we can’t trust him, but that stuff rings true.”

 

“Guys… aren’t we out of our depths here? If it’s this bad, wouldn’t it be best to bring him to a hospital or something?” Luke asked.

 

“NO!” Jessica and Colleen shouted in unison. Stunned silence reigned for a moment as they looked at each other.

 

“I guess you’re aware of the Birch situation, too,” Jessica said flatly. Colleen flushed.

 

“Birch situation?” Claire asked.

 

“Yeah, back when Danny first showed up in the city, his dear friends Ward and Joy Meachum drugged him and locked him away in Birch Psychiatric Hospital, apparently at the behest of Harold Meachum. He spent two days there before escaping,” Jessica said, her voice flinty.

 

“Joy and Ward Meachum,” Luke said, staring at her. “His childhood friends. Two of the people he cares about most in the world. And… it wasn’t because of this?”

 

“Nope,” Jessica bit out. “Joy claims she didn’t believe it was really him yet so she really thought he was delusional for claiming to be Danny Rand, but Ward and Harold wanted to hide him away, I guess. Didn’t want Danny Rand to come back from the dead. Not surprising I guess, since it was Harold that caused the plane crash and tried to kill him in the first place, right?”

 

“Seriously, does Danny know _anyone_ who hasn’t screwed him over at some point?” Luke asked. He was getting one hell of a headache, trying to process it all.

 

“ _We_ can’t even claim that we haven’t,” Matt said ruefully. “Well, Colleen and Claire weren’t there for that,” he amended.

 

“He called me from the hospital,” Colleen said. “He asked for my help, said he had no one else to turn to. And I said _no._ ” She hugged her arms to herself again, looking miserable. “I’d only just met him. I had no idea who he really was. But I’d seen him fight some guys that came after him outside the dojo, and here he was thrown in a mental hospital and I only had his word that it wasn’t justified. I didn’t want to get involved.”

 

“You can’t feel guilty about that now. It was a perfectly reasonable way to feel at the time,” Claire said, rubbing her arm gently.

 

“Okay, so he’s had a bad experience with a hospital,”  Luke said reasonably. “But if we talk to him, explain that he needs help and it would be on his own terms….”

 

“He’ll never agree,” Colleen said flatly. “He doesn’t like to talk about it, but I know he… he still has nightmares about Birch. About how helpless he felt on all those drugs.” There was a moment of heavy silence.

 

“So, what are our options, then?” Matt asked.

 

“Look, I read up on PTSD after I first met Danny, but this isn’t exactly my area of expertise,” Claire said. She chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully for a moment. “I’m going to call an old friend from nursing school who works in a psychiatric unit now. See if she can give me some hypothetical advice.” She retreated to the living area for some privacy as she pulled her phone out.

 

“So, Davos just showed up here unannounced, I take it?” Matt asked. “Did he think Danny would be here?”

 

“I don’t think so,” Luke said. “It seemed like he was just here to antagonize _us._ Or maybe just Colleen, and Claire and I were a bonus? I have no idea. But I definitely got the impression that he was perfectly aware that Danny wouldn’t be here.”

 

“Strange tactic,” Matt mused. “If Danny’s the target, and the motivation is personal, why purposefully involve us? Why approach Joy?”

 

“Because he’s an asshole?” Jessica suggested snidely.

 

“He knew who I was,” Luke suddenly remembered. “Called me by name. Mentioned how Danny had a bunch of ‘superfriends’ now.”

 

“Hate to break it to you, Luke, but you’re kind of famous,” Matt said wryly. “Maybe the superfriends comment was a stab in the dark after he saw you here?”

 

“Do you think he knows we all worked together to fight the Hand at Midland Circle?” Jessica asked.

 

“I think it comes back to the theory that he’s not working alone. Who knows who could be helping him, and what information they might have access to? Hell, they could even have their own ulterior motives for getting involved,” Matt said.

 

“That’s comforting,” Jessica replied, rolling her eyes.

 

“We can’t underestimate him,” Colleen said. “He’s heartless. When he was here before, he was absolutely bloodthirsty about going after the Hand. Said he would have been willing to kill the students at Bakuto’s compound, even though they were just kids. It didn’t matter to him, Hand was Hand. He seemed _eager_ to kill them. And when Bakuto took the Meachums hostage to get to Danny, he didn’t even hesitate to tell Danny to abandon them and let them die.”

 

“How the fuck did _Danny_ of all people end up friends with a person like that?” Jessica asked.

 

“A merciless killing machine…,” Matt mused quietly, almost to himself. Jessica shot him a look.

 

“Well, if Davos was being truthful it was because he was the only one in K’un Lun who was _willing_ to be friends with him, because he was an outsider,” Luke said. Jessica blinked at him.

 

“I thought this place was sought out by pilgrims? Isn’t that how all the leaders of the Hand ended up there, back in the day? So why would they be so hostile to an outsider? Hell, why even save him and bring him there at all, if that’s how they felt?” she asked.

 

“Maybe they no longer welcome outsiders _because_ of what happened with the leaders of the Hand?” Matt suggested, looking thoughtful. “Still, it is an interesting question. I guess the only person to ask would be Danny.”

 

“Sure, we’ll fit ‘Why did everyone in K’un Lun hate you so much?’ in somewhere between ‘We think you’re crazy as a loon,’ and ‘By the way, did your buddy Davos ever touch you in a bad place?’” Jessica snarked.

 

“DON’T call him crazy,” Colleen bit out. “And.. and don’t _joke_ about that!” Jessica raised her eyebrows at her.

 

“Honey, nobody thinks possible sexual assault is less funny than I do. And I already did the whole guilt thing about calling him crazy when I found out about the hospital earlier,” Jessica said. “But let’s not kid ourselves. Having hallucinations is _crazy_. Believe it or not, I’m not judging. Who here can claim total emotional stability? We’re _all_ fucking crazy one way or another. It doesn’t change anything. He’s still… one of us.”

 

Luke stared at her, a little floored by the uncharacteristic sentimentality, even if she looked as if the last bit had been physically painful for her to say.

 

“Why, Miss Jones,” Matt said, sounding equally surprised. “Are you finally embracing the concept of the team?”

 

“I hate you,” she said flatly. Matt grinned. Luke couldn’t help but grin a little, too. It was a great relief to the tension he’d been feeling. Colleen was just standing there looking stunned.

 

“Th-thank you for saying that,” she finally said. “That he’s… still one of you. I… I don’t even know how he’s going to react to all this, to everyone knowing. He’s so afraid of rejection. And I was scared you were all going to reject him over this, too.”

 

“That is definitely NOT happening,” Luke said firmly. “Jessica’s right. He _is_ one of us. Not just a teammate, but a friend. I don’t know how yet, but we’ll look after him.” He meant every word. It was true that he hadn’t really known what to make of Danny at first. But it was also true that despite his initial wariness the kid was really growing on him. Once you got past the often brash, over-energetic exterior, he had one of the purest hearts Luke had ever encountered. Picturing that sweet, goofy smile made something warm glow in his chest. He wasn’t really sure how to interpret the feeling, wasn’t completely at ease with it, but one thing was clear. He cared about Danny. A lot. He glanced around at the other people in the room.

 

He cared about _all_ of them. And Luke Cage looked after the people he cared about.

 

“If it helps, I plan on trying to refrain from calling him crazy to his face,” Jessica sniffed, her arms crossed over her chest in an air of forced nonchalance. “At least for awhile.”

 

“That’s very magnanimous of you,” Matt said, his voice very serious.

 

“I _really_ freaking hate you, Murdock,” she grumbled. Matt smiled serenely. Luke raised an eyebrow. Were they… flirting? Part of him thought the realization should sting, at least a little, but it didn’t.

 

Claire interrupted any further exchange by re-entering the dojo. Judging by her grim expression, Luke guessed that the news wasn’t the greatest.

 

“Well, unsurprisingly, she made a big deal out of emphasizing that this was all hypothetical and didn’t constitute actual professional advice, since we were talking about a hypothetical person that she’s never seen,” Claire began. “She said that based on the symptoms I described, complex PTSD with psychotic features was a strong possibility, though not the only one.” Luke saw Colleen flinch a little at the word psychotic. He couldn’t blame her. “Other possibilities include schizoaffective disorder, bipolar disorder, or even a brain tumour. A definite diagnosis is impossible without a full psychiatric evaluation, of course.”

 

“Schizoaffective disorder?” Luke asked with a frown. “Is that like schizophrenia?”

 

“It’s a condition that includes both symptoms of schizophrenia, like hallucinations, and symptoms of a mood disorder, like mania or depression,” Claire explained. “From her description, it actually seemed to have a lot in common with complex PTSD with psychotic features. It’s yet another complication when it comes to diagnosing mental illness, so many disorders have overlapping symptoms. It’s not something like cancer, where you can just run a biopsy and get a clear answer. But I still think complex PTSD is what we’re dealing with, given what we know about Danny’s history.”

 

“Did she have any advice?” Matt asked. Claire sighed, looking uneasy.

 

“She said that it sounded like the hypothetical person I was describing has been seriously ill for quite some time, but until recently had still been managing to function without psychiatric help,” Claire said. “You know how there are functioning alcoholics who hold down jobs and families and can even manage to be quite successful, so that you’d never even suspect that they were alcoholics?”

 

“Ward was a functioning drug addict for years,” Colleen noted.

 

“Same concept,” Claire said with a nod. “Many people who are mentally ill manage to do it, often because they are too ashamed to reach out for help. But... it’s a hard, stressful way to live. They’re basically white-knuckling their way through life. And most will eventually reach a breaking point and start decompensating. It can be caused by a major stressor occurring in their life, or it can just be a matter of something having to give eventually.”

 

“Decompensating?” Colleen asked. She looked as if she almost didn’t want to hear the explanation.

 

“That’s the fancy psychiatric term for when somebody who had previously been managing to cope with their mental illness, whether it was in a healthy manner or not, starts to… deteriorate,” Claire said grimly. “The deterioration can be slow, but it can also happen very quickly. Worse case scenario can be… a full psychotic break.” Silence reigned for a long, tense moment. Colleen turned away, covering her face with her hands. Instinctively, Luke reached out to put a hand on her shoulder.

 

“She really thought that was a possibility?” Matt asked quietly.

 

“Like I said, she didn’t want to say anything for sure, but… yes. She said full psychotic breaks are almost always a possibility in anyone who is experiencing hallucinations,” Claire replied.

 

“What does that even mean?” Jessica growled.

 

“He could completely lose touch with reality,” Claire said flatly. “No longer be able to recognize when something is a hallucination and when it’s not. Other symptoms are again a grab bag common to many disorders, like depression, agitation, hypomania, delusions, paranoia….”

 

“Oh, God,” Colleen moaned.

 

“Hey,” Luke said softly, rubbing her shoulder. “We’re going to help him, whatever it takes.”

 

“I assume drugs and hospitalization are the standard recommendations?” Matt asked.

 

“Yup,” Claire said with a sigh. “In her opinion she didn’t see how it could be avoided, especially if a full psychotic break occurs. She was actually rather unsympathetic to the idea that my hypothetical person had had a bad experience before. She insisted sometimes you have to go against a mentally ill patient’s wishes when it’s in their best interest.”

 

“Not a surprising opinion from someone who works in a psychiatric ward,” Jessica sneered.

 

“There’s got to be something else,” Colleen insisted.

 

“She did admit that there is growing advocacy for alternative treatments when I pushed,” Claire said. “She didn’t know a lot about them herself, but said she’d email me a bit of info on one therapist she knows of as a starting point. I’m definitely going to have to do research.” She sighed deeply before looking at Colleen head-on. “We’re going to do everything we can to avoid bringing drugs or hospitals into it. But I think we should prepare ourselves. If the worse happens and it comes down to stopping him from hurting himself or someone else, we might not have a choice.”

 

“I… I can’t do that to him,” Colleen said, her voice trembling.

 

“We won’t, hon, not unless it’s the absolute last resort,” Claire said.

 

“Damn straight it’ll be the absolute last resort,” Jessica said, scowling.

 

“We’re all in agreement on that point, I think,” Matt said. Luke nodded.

 

“Okay,” Colleen relented, looking crushed. “Last resort.”

 

“So… should we talk to Danny about this tonight?” Matt asked. “Let him know we’re here for him, that we don’t judge him? Or would it be better to wait until we have some solid treatment options to offer?”

 

“What, you want us to gang up on him for a mental health intervention?” Jessica asked, one eyebrow raised. “Yeah, that wouldn’t seem threatening to an unstable person at all.”

 

“Perhaps not all of us need to be here,” Matt conceded. “Speaking of which… when do you expect him home? He’ll wonder why we’re all here… and there’s Davos’ visit, too. He needs to be told about that.”

 

“That’s going to upset him even more,” Colleen said, rubbing her face wearily.

 

“We have to be honest with him,” Luke said. “We can’t start coddling him or hiding things from him to ‘protect’ him. He’d only resent it.”

 

“I know,” Colleen said resignedly. She glanced at the clock on the wall and frowned. “He’s usually home by now, actually, unless he’s called to say he would be late.” As if on cue her phone rang and she rushed to grab it. She frowned at the caller ID before answering, her voice concerned. “Megan?” She spun around to face the others, the blood draining from her face as she listened. Luke could just make out a tinny voice speaking frantically on the other end of the line and he saw Matt tensing up, his expression alarmed. That didn’t bode well.

 

“Megan… Megan! Please calm down,” Colleen said. “Where is he now?” Luke exchanged a look with Claire, dread curdling in his stomach. “Okay… okay, thank you so much for calling me, Megan. We’ll… we’ll find him, I promise. Everything will be okay.” She ended the call and stared down at the phone in her hand for a moment before looking up, her expression panicked.

 

“Danny… Danny just freaked out and busted up his hand punching a huge hole in his office wall,” she said, her voice cracking. “Megan said he was completely out of it, barely acknowledged her or the… the bloody mess he’d made of his hand. He just… left. Danny’s _gone._ ”

 

TBC

 


	9. Claire

“What do you mean, he’s _gone_?” Claire asked, her eyes wide.

 

“I mean he _left_ , and she has no idea where he was going!” Colleen said frantically. “She was trying to convince him to get medical treatment for his hand and he just stood up and walked out. When she tried to call him his phone rang on his desk. He doesn’t have it with him.”

 

“Okay, first of all, let’s not panic,” Luke said. “For all we know, he could just be on his way here. How long ago did this happen?”

 

“Right before she called. She… she was frantic. He really scared her,” Colleen said. “I can’t just wait here! I need to go look for him.” She moved towards the door but Matt moved to block her path.

 

“I understand your concern. Megan’s description of the… the incident was pretty upsetting. But you won’t help anybody by running off alone. What are you going to do, walk every street from here to Midtown?” he said reasonably. “Luke is right, he could very well be headed here anyway.” Colleen nodded a little, clearly unhappy. Claire approached to wrap a comforting arm around her shoulders.

“What exactly happened?” Jessica asked.

 

“Megan said she was about to leave for the day when she heard Danny yell and then a crash,” Matt explained. “She rushed in and found him… slamming his fist repeatedly into the wall, smashing a huge hole in it. She said it was like he was in a world of his own… she had to call him repeatedly before he stopped. Even then he was still… out of it. He let her wrap his hand up but basically ignored everything else until he just… left.”

 

“Jesus… you said he was fine when we left. That was only a few hours ago,” Jessica said.

 

“Things can change very quickly when we’re talking about someone’s mental state,” Claire said, her expression grim.

 

“On the bright side… at least he didn’t power up before attacking the wall?” Jessica said. “He could’ve blown out the side of the building or something.”

 

“I don’t think any of us want to think about how much damage he could do if he was completely out of control,” Luke said with a shudder.

 

“I think on that note we may actually be lucky. He generally needs to be able to focus to summon his chi, right?” Matt asked.

 

“Usually,” Colleen said. “But there have been incidents when he’s been able to spontaneously summon a large amount of power pretty much _because_ he was really upset at the time.”

 

“That’s just great,” Jessica muttered.

 

“If he was heading straight here from Rand, how long would it normally take him? Does he drive, take the subway, take a cab?” Matt asked.

 

“Sometimes he drives, sometimes he takes the subway,” Colleen said. “A few times he’s used one of the Rand drivers. It depends on how he feels.” She went to root through a dish on a shelf by the door. “His car keys are here,” she said.

 

“It’s probably for the best that he’s not driving if he’s upset,” Matt said. “For the subway between Midtown and here we’re looking at at least thirty minutes. If he’s using some other method, or going somewhere else first but still intending to come home, it could be considerably longer….” He paused for a moment, his brow furrowed. “I know you’re not going to like it, Colleen, but I think we should give it a couple of hours before we start sending out search parties.”

 

“What? That long?” Colleen asked incredulously. “But… but he’s _hurt_! He could… he could be out there wandering around in a daze, needing help!”

 

“I don’t like it either,” Matt said, the truth of it clear in his voice. “But what’s the alternative? There’s a third of Manhattan between here and Rand. Are the five of us going to start searching street by street?” Colleen’s face crumpled, but she couldn’t argue with his logic. “We give him a couple of hours to see if he’s just headed home anyway. If he hasn’t shown up by then, we come up with a plan, like figuring out likely places he might have gone that we can check.”

 

“As much as I hate to say it, I think you’re right,” Claire said with a frown. “Right now there’s not much point in just randomly searching the streets, when he could very well be on his way home anyway. Not to mention that he probably wouldn’t take it as much of a sign of our confidence in him, if we panicked prematurely.”

 

“I was thinking the same, too,” Matt agreed solemnly. “I really feel like it’d be a mistake to do anything that could make him feel like we don’t trust him, or that we consider him a child that needs looking after. I hate to think of him out there alone and hurt, but we have to give him a chance to come home on his own before doing anything drastic.”

 

The conversation was interrupted by a notification chime from Jessica’s phone.

 

“My contact was able to track Davos for a couple of blocks before he got into a cab up on Division St. The ATM cam got the company and car number,” she told them after quickly reading the text. “I’m sure if I go to their head office I can find out where they dropped him off.”

 

“Hey, would this guy be able to track Danny the same way?” Luke asked. Jessica shot him an incredulous look.

 

“The dude’s not exactly trustworthy. It’s one thing to have him track randoms like Davos, but he’d definitely take notice if I asked him to track Danny freaking Rand. It would be all over tabloid gossip sites in an hour,” she said. Luke grimaced, nodding in understanding. “In any case, I think I should go ahead and head over to the cab company office. I’m useless here right now, and we don’t want this lead to go cold.”

 

“You’re right, this lead is important. I’ll come with you, since I’m feeling a little antsy and useless here right now, myself,” Matt said. He turned to Claire and Luke. “I assume you two intend to stay here?”

 

“Yes,” Claire confirmed. “Depending on Danny’s state of mind if - when - he gets home, we should try to talk to him about his hallucinations. With things deteriorating so quickly, it really shouldn’t wait. And just having the three of us here might feel a little less like we’re ganging up on him than if it was all five of us. At least I hope it will.” It went unspoken that leaving Colleen to wait and worry alone was also not an option.

 

“Okay, keep us updated, and if Danny hasn’t surfaced in a couple of hours we’ll come back and help come up with a search strategy,” Matt said.

 

“Should we synchronize our watches?” Jessica drawled.

 

“I don’t think that’ll be necessary,” Matt said wryly. He paused to give Colleen’s arm a reassuring squeeze as they headed out. “He’s going to be okay,” he told her. She just nodded mutely in response.

 

“Colleen, can I borrow your laptop?” Claire asked after they were gone. “I want to start researching those treatment alternatives right away, and I don’t fancy doing it on my little phone screen.”

 

“Yeah, sure. We can set it up at the dinette table,” Colleen said. While she was busy doing that, Claire gave Luke a significant look and he nodded in understanding. Find something to try to keep Colleen distracted.

 

“Colleen, why don’t we go over those blocking moves you were showing Jessica yesterday? It’ll help pass the time,” he suggested.

 

“I guess,” Colleen said without much enthusiasm.

 

As the two of them began doing simple exercises out in the dojo, Claire settled at the dinette table with the laptop and some paper to take notes. She was glad to see that her friend had already sent the email about the therapist she knew that advocated for alternative treatments for mental illness. He was a proponent of what was termed the ‘selective use’ model for the treatment of psychosis. It favoured the avoidance of prescribing antipsychotics unless absolutely necessary, and even then, to use the lowest dose possible for the shortest amount of time possible.

 

 _Sounds promising_ , she thought, and dug in to investigate further.

 

She’d hoped the research would provide a good distraction from her own worry, but even though she was making progress she still found that her eyes kept traveling to the clock at the corner of the screen. She agreed with the logic that just blindly searching the streets of Manhattan would likely be nothing more than an exercise in futility, especially when they weren’t even sure yet if Danny was technically _missing_. But that didn’t mean it was easy to sit there waiting, knowing he was out there somewhere, most likely hurting. As she listened for a moment to Colleen listlessly giving instructions to Luke out in the dojo, she had no doubt that the two of them felt the same way, too, and that even out on their information-gathering mission, Matt and Jessica were likely also thinking of him.

 

 _Hurry up and get your ass home, Danny_ , she thought anxiously. _Before we_ **_all_ ** _lose our minds._

 

About an hour after Jessica and Matt had left, she received a text from Jessica saying that the cab had dropped Davos off at the Lotte New York Palace, a five-star hotel on Madison Ave. She and Matt were heading there next to see if they could find out anything else, such as if he was a registered guest there or if he was just meeting someone.

 

Claire frowned at the message. The Lotte was one of the swankiest hotels in New York. If Davos had the resources to be staying there, or even if he was just meeting with someone who did, then this was pretty good confirmation that he had at least one very wealthy accomplice. A small voice whispered at the back of her mind that the most obvious possibility was someone who’d been connected to the Hand, wanting revenge for the decimation of the organization’s leadership. But it was hard to imagine Davos being willing to work with such a person. Could his anger and resentment of Danny really outweigh his burning hatred of the Hand?

 

Wanting to give her eyes a break from the laptop screen, she went out into the dojo to update Luke and Colleen. They were more than ready to call it quits with their half-hearted training as well.

 

“That’s… really close to Rand Enterprises,” Colleen remarked with a frown after she’d told them about the Lotte.

 

“It could be a coincidence,” Luke said. “Or his going there might have had nothing to do with Danny.”

 

“It’s pointless to speculate,” Claire said with a sigh. “Jessica and Matt will find out what they can. If nothing else, maybe they can dig up a lead on whoever he’s working with.”

 

“This waiting is killing me,” Colleen complained, peeling off her gloves. She shot the clock on the dojo wall a baleful look. “It’s been well over an hour.”

 

“Which is still too soon to panic,” Claire said gently. “We’re _all_ worried, but we can’t overreact.”

 

“It doesn’t _feel_ like overreacting,” Colleen muttered, but didn’t argue further.

 

“Any luck with the research?” Luke asked.

 

“Yes, actually,” Claire said. If nothing else, she’d at least been able to put the agonizing wait time to good use.

 

“You found an alternative treatment that we could try?” Colleen asked, perking up a little.

 

“Yup. _Us_ ,” she said, smiling a little. When they both just looked at her in puzzlement she continued. “I’ve been reading about a growing movement toward a treatment model that emphasizes peer and community support rather than drugs. A more holistic approach, so to speak. Having a safe, caring, and non-judgemental environment where the person doesn’t have to be ashamed of their symptoms. Having the opportunity to safely face the emotional issues or traumas that are contributing to the symptoms and dealing with them. Having a good support system in place to help them cope with all that. Stuff like that. So, essentially, _us._ The team.”

 

“Could it really be that simple?” Luke asked.

 

“Well, don’t be fooled by the apparent simplicity. There’s no claim that it’ll be easy,” Claire cautioned. “Part of the idea is that instead of masking psychosis by drugging the symptoms into submission, you work through the issues that are causing or contributing to it in the first place. Which can be a lengthy, uncomfortable, and often distressing process. But there have already been studies showing promising results.”

 

“Would we still need to get a doctor involved?” Colleen asked.

 

Before Claire could answer the door opened and Danny stepped into the dojo.

 

“Danny!” Colleen exclaimed in relief, rushing forward to throw her arms around him. Claire felt a huge swell of relief of her own, though it was rather short-lived as she took in his haggard appearance. He was startlingly pale, with dark circles under his red-rimmed eyes. His shirt and suit jacket were rumpled and his tie was missing. He looked… _wrung-out_ somehow. A blood-stained cloth was still wrapped around his right hand.

 

Most alarming of all, though, was probably the strange blankness to his expression.

 

“Where have you been?” Colleen asked, stepping back, though she kept one hand on his arm as if afraid he’d disappear.

 

“I was at Rand,” Danny said. “Then I… came home.” His voice was as flat and blank as his expression.

 

“Hey, why don’t you have a seat and I can take a look at that hand?” Claire said, gesturing into the living area. Danny’s gaze drifted down to his injured hand, his expression never changing. When he didn’t respond, Colleen gently tugged on his arm to guide him over to sit at the dinette table. Claire and Luke exchanged a concerned look as they followed.

 

“Text Matt and Jessica to let them know he’s here,” she said quietly to Luke as she retrieved the dojo’s first aid kit from under the sink. He nodded in acknowledgement as he pulled out his phone.

 

Claire pulled a chair out from the table so she could sit next to Danny and gently lifted up his hand to unwrap the cloth. She grimaced as the damage was revealed. Swollen flesh, split knuckles, a couple of clearly broken fingers and likely broken bones in the hand as well.

 

“What happened?” she asked carefully as she started to clean away the dried blood. Danny watched her work with the same bland, detached expression, giving no indication of the pain she knew she had to be causing him.

 

“I… I hit the wall?” he said, blinking a few times as if struggling to recall.

 

“You don’t remember?” she asked. He blinked a few more times, then shook his head. A pause, and then he nodded, frowning.

 

“I… I made a mess,” he said uncertainly. “Megan was upset.”

 

“Megan was worried about you,” Claire said. “She called Colleen. Do you remember what happened after that?”

 

“I came home,” he said.

 

“Did you walk all the way from Rand?” Luke asked, his eyebrows raised. “That’s over three and a half miles.”

 

“I think so,” Danny said vaguely. He rubbed his eyes with his left hand. “I’m… tired.” He swayed a little in the chair.

 

“Danny,” Colleen suddenly cut in from where she was sitting on his other side, her hand on his shoulder. “Did you eat anything at Rand today?” He frowned again, thinking.

 

“I don’t think so,” he finally said. She inhaled sharply.

 

“You didn’t even have breakfast this morning! Have you seriously not eaten a single thing all day?” she asked. Danny rubbed at his eyes again and when he looked back at Colleen Claire was relieved to see that his gaze looked a little clearer.

 

“I’m sorry. I think I forgot,” he said. “Today’s been… strange.”

 

“Well, unless you want to go for x-rays and a cast, you need to summon some chi to help heal your hand. You’ve got broken bones,” Claire told him. He looked back down at his hand again, frowning as if seeing it for the first time. “Somehow I don’t think you have the energy for that right now, though.”

 

“I just need some sleep and some food and I’ll be fine. I can heal it in the morning,” he said.

 

“Danny… we can’t just leave it like that. It must be really painful,” Claire said, frowning.

 

“It’s fine,” he said. Which she knew meant, ‘I can handle the pain because I’m a warrior of K’un Lun and I’m supposed to,’ and not ‘The pain isn’t that bad’. Her frown deepened.

 

“At least let me wrap it up better,” Claire said. After a moment he nodded and she pulled a fresh bandage out of the first aid kit. As she carefully wrapped his hand again he looked around with more awareness, as if he was waking up from a dream.

 

“What… what are you and Luke doing here, anyway? I didn’t think you had a lesson with Colleen today,” he asked. “Not that you aren’t welcome to drop by anytime,” he added with a tired smile. Claire’s heart broke a little at the sight of it. He seriously looked like he was about to keel over from exhaustion, had clearly had a turbulent, upsetting day, and yet even in this ragged, weary state, he was still happy to see them.

 

“Well... we had some things to discuss,” she said, exchanging a somewhat frantic look with Luke and Colleen. Maybe it wasn’t the greatest time to broach the topic after all, when he so clearly needed food and rest? “But maybe you should eat something first, and then we can talk about it later?” she suggested. But Danny had come out of whatever daze he’d been in enough to pick up on the weird vibe between the rest of them.

 

“What’s going on?” he asked. When none of them responded immediately he started to tense. “What aren’t you telling me?”

 

“I called them here,” Colleen said, reaching out to take his left hand. “I wanted to talk to them. Because… because I’m worried about you.” Danny tensed even more, looking around at the three of them warily.

 

“What… what do you mean?” he asked. And Claire could see it on his face. The fear that he knew exactly what she meant. The fear that Colleen had told them. Claire knew that Colleen could see it, too, and was no doubt feeling terribly guilty. She saw the younger woman visibly brace herself.

 

“I told them about what happened this morning,” she said. “And I told them everything about… your hallucinations.” As soon as the words had left her mouth Danny shot to his feet, jerking his hand away from hers. If Claire had thought he’d been pale before, then now he was as white as chalk. He looked at Claire and Luke with naked panic in his eyes before looking back at Colleen.

 

“You… you _what_?” he asked, his voice cracking. Colleen had risen to her feet as well and was looking at him with pleading eyes.

 

“I was scared, Danny! I’ve been so worried about you and I didn’t know what to do!” she said. “They can help you! We all _want_ to help you! It’s what this team is supposed to be for, right?”

 

“You… you told them,” Danny said disbelievingly, staring at her with wounded eyes.

 

“Don’t be angry with Colleen, Danny,” Claire said. “She told us because she loves you. The two of you have been dealing with this alone but you don’t _have_ to.”

 

“It was going to come out, anyway,” Luke said gently. “Matt overheard enough when he was at Rand today to make a good guess as to what was happening. And after that you scared the crap out of your assistant, Danny. You broke your hand punching a hole in the wall of your office. Then you walked all the way home in some kind of daze that you’ve only just come out of. You need help. Let us _help_ you.” Danny blinked at him in shock for a moment before his expression crumpled.

 

“Matt… heard that?” he asked in a small voice, his face flushing with shame. His whole body had started to tremble. Colleen reached for him but he jerked away.

 

“Danny, there’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Claire said. “None of us think any less of you, I swear. We just want to help you.”

 

“ _Help?_ ” Danny bit out brokenly. “I know what that means. _I’m not going back to that place!_ ”

 

“We would never do that to you, Danny! That’s why I wanted them to know, so we could figure out another way!” Colleen said, looking crushed.

 

“We? _We?_ What, did… did _all_ of you get together to discuss how _crazy_ I am?” Danny cried, backing away from them. “I bet you all… all had a good _laugh_. Bet you just couldn’t wait for an excuse to get rid of me.” He reached up to fist both hands in his hair, heedless of the pain it had to be causing the injured one.

 

“Danny, we’re doing this because we _care_ about you!” Claire said, appalled. She’d hardly expected the conversation to go smoothly, but it was quickly turning into a complete disaster. “And no one is going to try to send you to a hospital or give you drugs. We want to help you by _supporting_ you, by helping heal all these old wounds you have.”

 

“No, no, no, no,” Danny was muttering, seeming to not even hear her. “This… this can’t be happening. _This can’t be happening_.” He was shaking even harder, his eyes darting around the room in a way that gave Claire the sinking feeling that he was seeing more than just the three of them.

 

“Danny, please _listen_ to us,” Colleen said, her voice cracking. “You don’t have to be embarrassed. You don’t have to be afraid. Everything will be okay.”

 

“NOTHING WILL EVER BE _OKAY_!” he screamed, his eyes wild.

 

“Look, man, maybe we should all just calm down,” Luke said, taking a step towards him with his hands out, like he was approaching a wild animal.

 

“I don’t _want_ to calm down! I… I need to get _out_ of here!” Danny said, spinning on his heel and heading for the door.

 

“Danny, no!” Colleen cried, following after him.

 

“I can’t be here right now! Just… just leave me alone!” Danny said, his voice raw with pain.

 

“But you can’t just _leave_! You’re exhausted and you’re hurt and you need to eat something,” she said desperately.

 

“She’s right, Danny. You’re in no shape to be out wandering the streets!” Claire said. She suddenly realized that they hadn’t even told him about Davos’ visit yet. At the moment it would likely only add fuel to the fire.

 

“Stupid, useless kid can’t take care of himself, right?” Danny muttered bitterly. “I know what you all think of me. I thought… I thought it could be different… but I was stupid. It’s always the same. _I don’t belong_ **_anywhere_** _._ ”

 

“You know that’s not true, Danny,” Luke said.

 

“Of course it’s true! It’s been true my whole damn life!” Danny yelled, reaching for the doorknob.

 

“Danny, _please_ don’t leave,” Colleen said, her voice heartbroken. He paused, but didn’t look back at her.

 

“You’re all better off without me,” he said, sounding just as heartbroken as she did. And then he was gone.

 

Colleen put her face in her hands and started to cry. Claire wrapped her arms around her.

 

“Shouldn’t we stop him?” Luke ventured after a moment.

 

“We just spent a whole afternoon discussing how we couldn’t force anything on him,” Claire reminded him, rubbing her hand soothingly over Colleen’s back as the younger woman sobbed.

 

“I know,” Luke said with a sigh. “It just feels wrong, leaving things like this, you know? He’s in really rough shape, Claire.”

 

“He’s hurt and exhausted and confused and more than anything I think he’s _ashamed_. He needs some space to process. Hopefully he’s headed for his penthouse. We’ll reach out again tomorrow,” she said.

 

“Are we really just going to leave him on his own tonight? After everything that’s happened?” Luke asked incredulously.

 

“Absolutely not,” Claire said, the gears turning in her head. “I’m going to call Ward.”

 

TBC


	10. Danny

As Danny stumbled out the door onto the sidewalk at the front of the building, he took a deep, gasping breath, feeling like he was drowning. He leaned on the wall for a moment, trying to will the world back into alignment, but everything had been shattered. It would never be the same again.

 

Colleen had _told_ them.

 

They _knew_.

 

Worse even, Matt had _heard_. Heard something… something _incriminating_ enough for him to guess.

 

His chest ached like somebody had drop-kicked him. Deep, all-consuming shame crawled through every fibre of his being.

 

They’d never liked him, never wanted him around. Had always wanted an excuse to sideline him. Well, they certainly had the perfect one now, didn’t they? And now even _Colleen_ had… had….

 

Everything was ruined, ruined, _ruined…._

 

He couldn’t _breathe_.

 

He hit the wall with his injured hand, and the sharp spike of agony cleared some of the creeping hysteria threatening to overtake his mind. He did it again, focusing on the pain to steady him.

 

He couldn’t stay there. He needed to get away, before they decided to come after him to throw him back into Birch, to drug him insensible and strap him down and make him _helpless_ ….

 

Danny hit the wall again, harder, the pain feeling like the only thing holding back another wave of overwhelming hysteria. He had to focus. He couldn’t fall apart on the street. He had to pull himself together.

 

When he turned around to find Lei Kung standing a few feet away, glaring at him with disapproval and anger, the thought flitted across his mind that maybe he’d gone in the wrong direction when he’d left the dojo. Maybe he should have gone up to the roof so that he could have jumped and splattered his traitorous brain all over the sidewalk once and for all. But maybe that building wasn’t tall enough to be sure, maybe he should go back to Rand… or hell, the Manhattan Bridge was right there, maybe he should….

 

_No._

 

Danny shuddered, suddenly feeling cold right down to his bones.

 

He turned and set out north for the busier streets where he’d have more luck getting a cab, a little unsteady on his feet. He’d go to his penthouse in Midtown. All he would focus on for now was getting there. It was all he _could_ focus on. Thinking about anything else was feeling too… _dangerous_ just about then.

 

~~~

 

After arriving at his penthouse some time later, Danny stood in the spacious living room, staring out the floor-to-ceiling windows at the magnificent view of Central Park and the night-lit city. He found himself completely adrift, at a loss as to what his next step should be. He knew he _should_ just eat something and then try to sleep. But he stayed at the penthouse so infrequently that it wasn’t kept stocked with much of anything in the way of food, and calling for delivery and then actually having to deal with a delivery _person_ just seemed beyond his ken at the moment.

 

Besides which, it just didn’t seem… important. He knew his body was hungry, but he’d been hungrier. During training, they’d frequently undergone periods of fasting for a variety of purposes, including preparation for withstanding starvation as a method of torture. One day without food was nothing compared to _that_ ordeal. What did seem strange was that he’d been so… preoccupied all day that he’d somehow _forgotten_ to eat in the first place. It felt like something that should worry him… but he just couldn’t bring himself to care.

 

He looked down at his bandaged hand. After he’d used the pain to help him focus earlier, it had faded back to background noise, like his hunger and his bone-weary exhaustion. He tried to remember punching his office wall but it was all a bit of a blur of despair and pain and fear. But not physical pain, though. He couldn’t remember it hurting at all when it had happened, which he should probably be concerned about, too. The whole incident had something of an alarmingly surreal haze over it. And he could barely remember the long walk back home afterwards at all.

 

And Megan had been there, in the office. How was he ever going to be able to look her in the face again after scaring her like that? After… after _behaving_ like that in front of her?

 

Maybe he shouldn’t even go back to Rand. Maybe he was just as much of a useless annoyance there as he was to the… the team.

 

Thinking of them sent a sharp spike of agony through his heart. Forget Megan, how could he ever look any of _them_ in the face again? Though it seemed a moot point… they didn’t want to be around _him_ anyway. If he ever saw them again, it would probably only be when they showed up to drag him off to Birch. A spike of adrenaline shot through his blood. Would… would they really come for him? Try to force him to go? He clamped down on those thoughts before they could send him spiralling again. They’d just wanted to get rid of him so they wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore. Surely they wouldn’t push the issue if he just... stayed away?

 

But….

 

Colleen.

 

His heart clenched painfully again, so hard that it took his breath away. He tried to imagine staying away from her, never seeing her again, never talking to her or touching her or laughing with her….

 

He suddenly found himself sitting on the plush carpeting, his legs having given out at some point. There were tears running down his face.

 

Living without Colleen was… _unfathomable_.

 

But as painful as the prospect was, he had no choice. She… she deserved _better_ than him. He’d been causing her pain for months and hadn’t even realized it. Had… had she wanted out from that very first time she’d found out? Maybe she’d… _pitied_ him too much to say anything. At least until he’d driven her to the end of her rope and she’d felt she’d had no choice but to go to Claire and Luke. At first it had felt like a betrayal, but now he could see that _he_ was the one to blame. It was too much to expect anyone to put up with. _He_ was too much for anyone to put up with.

 

 _"What did you expect, trusting someone from the Hand?"_ Davos’ voice sneered.

 

“It’s not her fault,” Danny said, his stomach twisting.

 

 _"No, it’s_ **_your_ ** _fault,"_ Davos agreed. _"_ _You’re poison. You destroy everything. You drive everyone away sooner or later. But_ **_I’ll_ ** _never leave you. You’re_ **_mine_** _."_

 

“Everyone leaves,” Danny said dully. “Even you.”

 

_"You’ll never be free from me. How many times have I told you that I’m the only one you’ll ever have? That no one else will ever care about you? Surely you can see the truth of that now."_

 

“Yeah, I guess I can,” Danny said. What was the point in arguing? What was the point of any of it? Maybe he should just never leave the penthouse again, never see or talk to anyone except the damn voices in his head, just sit right there on the stupidly luxurious carpet until he withered away into dust….

 

There was a knock at the door. Danny froze. How did anyone know that he was there? Though he supposed that it wasn’t much of a stretch that Colleen and the others could have guessed where he’d go. His heart started to pound. They… they wouldn’t have sent someone to take him to the hospital already, would they?

 

The knock came again, more insistent. “Danny?” a voice called out, sounding vaguely irritated.

 

Ward.

 

Danny frowned uncertainly as he climbed to his feet and wiped the tears from his face. Ward had been involved in sending him to the hospital the first time, though it certainly hadn’t been because of any genuine concern regarding his mental health. He peered through the peephole, half expecting Ward to be accompanied by a couple of hulking white-clad orderlies, though a plan like that clearly wouldn’t have gone well for anyone if he wasn’t sedated first. But Ward appeared to be alone.

 

Danny opened the door and regarded him suspiciously.

 

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

 

“Good, you _are_ here,” Ward said, brushing past him uninvited. “Claire said to make sure you ate, so I brought chicken and pasta from Ai Fiori. I figured if I let you pick which container you wanted and I ate from my own first, it’d be enough to prove it wasn’t tampered with.” He set down a couple of bags on the island in the open concept kitchen before pulling a bottle of Johnnie Walker Double Black out of one of them. “As for this, you can see that the seal hasn’t been broken, and you can pour your own drinks. That should work, right?”

 

For a moment all Danny could do was gape at him.

 

“Um… what?” he finally managed to say.

 

“Your friend Claire called me. We had quite the lengthy conversation. After what happened earlier, I figured you wouldn’t be inclined to take any food or drink from someone with the last name ‘Meachum’ anytime soon,” Ward explained.

 

“She told you,” Danny realized, shame flushing through him. He felt stunned and betrayed all over again and he wasn’t even sure why. After all, why _wouldn’t_ they tell Ward? Why not tell Joy and Megan and Hogarth and Mr. Zhang and everyone in the whole damned world? He rubbed at the ache in his chest. There really wasn’t any limit on how deep that knife of hurt could cut, was there? “Maybe they should have Karen write an article for the front page of the Bulletin,” he said bitterly. “So, what, are you here to talk ‘sense’ into me? Convince me being put away is for my own good?”

 

“In case you’ve forgotten, Dad had _me_ thrown into Birch, too. I’m the last person who’d tell anyone that place was for their own good,” Ward said with a shudder. “So no, I’m not here to do anything like that. We’re going to eat, and then we’re going to crack open this bottle and have a few drinks while we talk.”

 

“Talk?” Danny asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

“Talk,” Ward agreed placidly. “But food first. I’m just going to let Claire know you made it here safely. She wasn’t sure you were headed here and she sounded pretty worried.”

 

Danny studied Ward for a moment as he typed on his phone, looking for any sign of derision or judgement. Over the expected paranoia about being drugged, or any of… the rest of it. But there was nothing, just Ward’s default expression of mild annoyance with the world.

 

“Thanks, Ward,” Danny said quietly.

 

“For what?” Ward asked as he put his phone away and then started pulling containers of food from the bags and setting them on the counter.

 

“I’m not even really sure,” Danny said with a small, tired laugh. He rubbed his face wearily. “For the food. For not showing up with a couple of Birch orderlies. For… for knowing I’d be worried about being drugged again and not making a big deal out of it. I don’t know. For everything, I guess.”

 

“Well, I guess you know you have a bad track record when people thank you for being a decent human being,” Ward drawled. “Here, pick which of these you want. I’ll grab utensils and glasses for the Scotch.”

 

They settled themselves in the living room and for a little while they ate in silence. Once he’d actually started eating Danny found that he had a hard time not wolfing it down. By then it had been over twenty-four hours since he’d last eaten, so it wasn’t surprising. Plus, the food really was delicious. Ward had taken him on a few business lunches to Ai Fiori and he knew Danny loved it. Another surprisingly thoughtful gesture.

 

After they’d finished eating Ward let Danny crack open the Scotch and pour them each a glass. Danny stared down into the amber depths for a moment before taking a sip. It had been easy to focus all his attention on the food for a little while, but now his mind was churning again. Ward had said he wanted to ‘talk’. There wasn’t really much Danny felt like talking about at the moment. But he supposed it had to start somewhere.

 

“I didn’t know you and Claire were still in contact,” he finally said.

 

“We’re not, not normally,” Ward said. “I still had her number in my phone from back when we were all working together to get that evidence from Dad, and I guess she still had mine from then, too.”

 

“She told you… everything?” Danny asked, unable to meet Ward’s gaze.

 

“She told me a lot, I can’t guarantee it’s everything,” Ward said with a sigh. “We’ll get to that, but first I think there’s some stuff _I_ should tell _you_.” He took a sip of his Scotch, and Danny suddenly realized that Ward was nervous.

 

“What stuff?” Danny asked, perplexed. Ward sighed, and then took another sip of his drink as if fortifying himself.

 

“After you came back, things really started to... intensify with Dad,” Ward began. “Not that that was in any way your fault,” he quickly added at the stricken look on Danny’s face. “They were always bad, but… it got worse. So of course my… my drug use escalated, too. That day I went with you to check warehouses and we found that… that head staked out in the back of that truck? Well… that was the day I started to have hallucinations.”

 

“You… you _what_?” Danny asked, gaping. Ward smirked humourlessly.

 

“Apparently they were most likely brought on by a combination of extreme duress and drug withdrawal, as due to some circumstances I found myself without access to any of my pills at the time,” Ward continued. He eyed Danny’s bandaged hand. “I ended up slamming my hand in my car door so I could go to a walk-in clinic to try to get painkillers, I was that desperate. And the withdrawal may have been part of the catalyst, but the hallucinations I had that day were far from my last.”

 

“I… I didn’t know,” Danny said, his mind still reeling. He didn’t think he could have been more shocked if Ward had told him he was an alien from another planet.

 

“Why would you? I’ve never even told Joy,” Ward said. He shifted uncomfortably. “When Claire told me what was going on, I thought maybe… it would be good for you to know. That even though the circumstances are pretty different… I know something of what it’s like. You’re… you’re not alone in this, Danny.” He downed what was left in his glass and reached for the bottle to pour himself some more.

 

“Ward,” Danny said in amazement, struck speechless. His heart was aching again, though now it was for a different reason. Not that long ago he’d felt like his whole world had come crashing down. And now here was Ward of all people, baring a piece of his soul to him and telling him he wasn’t alone. He could barely wrap his mind around it.

 

“It’s been awhile since it happened, thankfully, but… I used to see blood a lot. That was the most common one,” Ward continued, his gaze distant. “Once I had a conversation with a corpse. And I saw and heard Dad a bunch, too. It figures. He couldn’t torment me enough in reality, so why not torment me in my own mind, too?”

 

“I usually see Lei Kung,” Danny found himself saying. “He.. he was the chief instructor at the monastery school, and Davos’ father. Recently I’ve… I’ve been seeing and hearing Davos and some others, too, but Lei Kung was always the most common. He… he....,” Danny found himself at a loss as to how to continue. He was unsure if he _could_ continue. He’d never talked about it before. Even when Colleen had found out he’d only told her the basics, sharing as few details as possible. Ward eyed him speculatively.

 

“You know, I don’t even remember how old I was the first time Dad told me what a disappointment I was,” Ward said. Danny blinked in confusion at this apparent tangent. “Verbal abuse from him was a constant litany through my whole damned life. Same with the mind games and guilt trips and manipulations. Doesn’t mean I ever really got used to it.” Ward shifted in his seat again and took a drink from his glass. “The first time he hit me, though? _That_ I remember very clearly. Nine years old and I brought home a B on a math test. Apparently that deserved a few punches to the kidney. I pissed blood for days.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Danny said quietly. “I… I never even suspected back then.”

 

“He was always very smart about it,” Ward said. “Never left bruises where they would show. And he never laid a hand on Joy, or did it in front of her, which is why she had such a hard time understanding how things were when she first found out he was alive. She’d always been his little princess. He never showed her his ugly side. That was all for me, I guess.” He paused again, grimacing a little. “I can’t claim any of this excuses what a shit I was to you when you were little, but I guess I was lashing out at you. Your family seemed so perfect and I was… jealous.”

 

“Nobody’s family is perfect,” Danny said, thinking again of Joy’s comment about idealized memories of one’s parents. He took a drink from his glass to dispel the uncomfortable thought.

 

“Anyway, when I was younger, sometimes he’d use his belt, but I guess he thought I grew out of that or something. He never got tired of those sucker punches, though. Kidney, stomach, back… any place where the bruises wouldn’t show was fair game,” Ward continued. He eyed Danny again. “So what did Lei Kung do to you?”

 

Danny could do little more than stare at him for a moment. So it hadn’t been a tangent after all. His mind was a whirlwind, a myriad of conflicting emotions flashing through him at once. He downed the rest of his drink and poured himself another glass, trying to collect himself. Ward waited patiently, sipping his own drink.

 

“How… how did you know?” Danny finally asked.

 

“Please,” Ward scoffed. “It’s not that hard to guess when you know the signs, especially when you’ve lived some of them yourself. And she didn’t give me any details, but I know you told Joy a little bit about growing up in K’un Lun and her demeanor when it’s mentioned is pretty telling. But probably one of the biggest tells is that you said he’s the one you hallucinate about most often. People don’t hallucinate about happy things, Danny. Not when they’re trauma-induced hallucinations, anyway.”

 

Danny looked away. He felt like there was a strange buzzing under his skin, one that had nothing to do with the alcohol he’d consumed. He remembered that conversation with Joy, and the word she’d used to describe what he’d told her of his training. _Abuse_. And he hadn’t even told her much. But… it _had_ been training. It was different. It… it wasn’t really comparable to what Harold had done to Ward… was it?

 

Except that from Harold’s perspective, he’d been ‘training’ Ward to run the company.

 

Feeling like his world had tipped its axis for the umpteenth time that day, he looked back at Ward and was utterly unsurprised to see Lei Kung’s imposing form standing behind where Ward was seated on the leather couch.

 

“He… he beat me with a bo staff,” Danny said slowly, his eyes never leaving Lei Kung’s scowling face. “Sometimes he had the other teachers beat me, too. Depending on the severity of the… the offence, it could be several teachers trading off blows. It was… it was discipline. Punishment. For… for being weak, for not completing chores quickly enough, for not respecting the sanctity of the dojo, for breaking any of the rules, for not doing well enough in training….”

 

“For being a disappointment,” Ward said knowingly. Danny nodded.

 

“Other students were punished sometimes, too. It wasn’t just me. It was… normal. But… I messed up a lot. Especially the first few years,” Danny said. Ward sat forward, looking at him more intently.

 

“It was abuse, Danny. It was wrong. You understand that, right?” he asked.

 

“I… I don’t know,” Danny admitted, looking away. No one in K’un Lun questioned the methods used at the monastery school. The training was supposed to produce fierce warriors to protect the city. Of course it needed to be harsh. Beatings were the tip of the iceberg of what the students were put through. If he’d maybe been singled out for harsher treatment rather often, it’d been because of his own shortcomings. It had made him work all the harder to achieve becoming the Iron Fist.

 

 _"It couldn’t possibly have been because the teachers hated you for being an outsider just as much as the other students did,"_ Davos sneered. Danny looked up, seeing him standing in Lei Kung’s place.

 

“Well, I don’t think either of us have the energy to argue the point right now,” Ward said, sitting back with a sigh. “Have you ever talked to Colleen about it?”

 

“Not really,” Danny said, taking a drink and trying to ignore the way his heart clenched at her name. Something must have shown on his face, though, because Ward was regarding him speculatively again.

 

“You know Colleen would never hurt you on purpose, right?” he asked quietly.

 

“Of course I know that!” Danny snapped. “I know she only told Claire and Luke because she was scared. But that’s the point! I _scared_ her. She deserves someone better, someone who’s not… not….”

 

“Not such a mess?” Ward suggested mildly.

 

“Yes,” Danny said, scowling.

 

“Well, too bad, because she wants _you,_ ” Ward said. “Being scared _for_ someone isn’t the same as being scared _of_ them. C’mon, Danny, it’s obvious how much she loves you. And it’s obvious that her finding out you have hallucinations didn’t change that. She would have kicked you to the curb the day she first found out if that were so. What, do you think she stayed with you out of pity or some sense of obligation? That’s bullshit. All these issues you’re having are clearly not a deal-breaker for her. Because I have news for you, Danny. You’ve been a hot mess of mental instability since the moment you showed up here, and she still fell in love with you.”

 

Danny stared at him, suddenly finding it hard to breathe through the tightness in his chest.

 

“And, you know, I say that as one hot mess of mental instability to another,” Ward drawled, raising his glass in a little mock salute. Danny barked out a short laugh, surprised that he was able to find anything humorous. He put his empty glass down on the coffee table and rubbed tiredly at his eyes. He was exhausted down to his _bones_. He could feel the warmth of the alcohol in his blood, making him feel even more languid. And he missed Colleen so much he _ached_.

 

“I don’t know what to do,” Danny said. “If I go back… the… the others. They’ll want me to go to a hospital. I… I can’t do that. I _can’t_.” He clenched his fists, causing sharp pain to roar back to life in his broken hand.

 

“Claire told me she’d been researching alternatives,” Ward said. “She said that they understand that you don’t want to go to a hospital or take drugs. They won’t try to force you. She sounded sincere, and I can’t imagine Colleen would ever be complicit in doing something like that against your will. I think they really want to help you, Danny. Without a hospital or drugs.”

 

“What… what did _you_ do?” Danny asked. “You said it hasn’t happened in awhile.”

 

“Honestly? I think it’s because of talking through my issues about Dad in drug counselling,” Ward said. “These past few months, free from Dad, free from the drugs… I really do feel like a new person, as ridiculous as that sounds. But everything that happened before, everything that Dad did to me? It’s still a part of me, and always will be. I’m pretty sure that if I hadn’t been willing to face that and try to learn to live with it then I would have been back at the bottom of a pill bottle in no time, Dad or no Dad.”

 

“Just… talking about it? That helped?” Danny asked.

 

“It did. I won’t tell you it’s easy, because you know perfectly well that talking about stuff like this is anything but,” Ward said wryly. “And it’s an ongoing process. I hate to say it, but it’s something I’ll probably be dealing with for the rest of my life. But letting it fester away in the back of your mind? It’ll just keep getting worse, Danny.”

 

Danny chewed his bottom lip thoughtfully. There was a part of him that could see the logic in what Ward was saying, but… it seemed such a daunting thing to contemplate. Dredging up everything that had happened in K’un Lun… could anything good really come of that? And… it seemed too much to hope that the others really did want to _help_ him, not just get rid of him. Could they really still want him on the team, knowing… knowing _that_? Just the thought of facing all of them again, when they knew just how screwed up he really was… it was mortifying. But the thought of never seeing any of them again was just as painful. Especially Colleen. He felt like he was missing a limb and it had only been a few hours.

 

“Listen, it’s been a long day, and you look like you’re ready to drop,” Ward said. “Get some sleep. Give yourself some time to process. And take a few days off from the office, there’s nothing urgent going on there that needs your attention.”

 

“The office,” Danny said, suddenly remembering with a fresh flush of embarrassment. “I guess Claire told you about the hole I punched in the wall? And I scared Megan.” Ward eyed his hand again.

 

“She told me,” he confirmed. “I’ll arrange to have it fixed. And I checked in with Megan. She’s fine, she’s just worried about _you_.” He smirked. “You know every employee at Rand who’s below executive level worships the ground you walk on, right?”

 

“That’s not true,” Danny said uncomfortably, flushing even more. He just tried to treat everyone fairly. It wasn’t that big a deal.

 

“Sure, if you say so,” Ward laughed. “Speaking of that incident, though, didn’t you tell me you’ve been practicing using your chi to speed healing? How come you haven’t healed your hand?”

 

“Between the exhaustion and the not having eaten, I felt too drained to try,” Danny said, flexing the fingers a little and feeling the corresponding needles of pain. “I’ll take care of it tomorrow.” He didn’t feel the need to add that part of him thought he deserved to live with the pain, at least for now. Penance of a sort for letting himself get so out of control.

 

“Well, I’m going to head out and let you get some rest,” Ward said, rising to his feet. “Listen, I’m going to let Joy know what’s going on, but I’m sure she’ll understand. She deserves the truth and I don’t want to start hiding things from her again. Which is why I’m going to tell her about my hallucinations, too.”

 

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Danny said, rising to his feet as well. Though he hated the idea of yet another person knowing, he knew that at that point it wasn’t feasible to think it could be kept from Joy. Plus it really wouldn’t be fair to ask Ward to lie to her.

 

“No, I should have told her when we were laying everything out on the table during our talk today,” Ward said. “But… I was embarrassed. Everything else I’ve done, and I was still too ashamed to tell her about _that_. So I definitely understand your feelings, Danny. Intellectually I know it’s not something I should feel ashamed of, but knowing and feeling are two different things. Be patient with yourself. It’s going to take time to get used to the idea of people knowing.”

 

“Thanks, Ward,” Danny said quietly. He really did feel extremely grateful. He didn’t know what he might have ended up doing if Ward hadn’t shown up when he did. It wasn’t a pleasant thought.

 

Ward helped him gather up the detritus of their meal before leaving. He paused in the doorway, giving Danny one last measuring look.

 

“You’re going to be okay here tonight?” he asked.

 

“Yeah,” Danny replied. “You’re right, I need to get some sleep. And I have a lot to… to process.”

 

“Well, like I said, take a few days off from the office, you need it. Megan said your phone is on your desk so I’ll have it messengered over in the morning so that you’re not incommunicado anymore,” Ward said. “I expect that Claire or Colleen or some combination of them and your other superfriends will probably show up here sometime tomorrow to try to talk to you. Will you let them in and listen to what they have to say?”

 

“Yeah,” Danny said, despite the tremor of anxiety that rolled through his whole body at the prospect. “Yeah, I will.”

 

“Good,” Ward smiled. “Take care of yourself, Danny.”

 

“Thanks again, Ward. I’m… I’m really glad you came by.” Danny closed the door behind him and turned to face the empty room, grateful to find that at least for the time being, no unwanted apparitions were waiting for him.

 

TBC

 


	11. Matt

“I guess she didn’t have any news about Danny?” Matt asked Jessica after she finished sending Claire an update on what they’d found out at the cab company. They were sitting in the back of one of said cabs, on their way to the Lotte New York Palace.

 

“Nope,” Jessica said. “You worried?”

 

“Of course I am,” Matt said.

 

“Well, the whole ‘wait and see’ strategy was _your_ idea, don’t forget,” she said.

 

“I know,” Matt said with a sigh. “And I still think that rushing off to search right away would have been an overreaction. But I can’t help but wonder. There’s no way for sure to know exactly what his mental state is like. In trying not to overreact, maybe we’re _underreacting_ , you know?”

 

“You’ll drive yourself crazy with what-ifs like that,” Jessica snorted.

 

“C’mon, are you really going to try to tell me that _you’re_ not worried about him?” Matt asked.

 

“Maybe a little,” she sniffed. Matt suppressed the urge to shake his head. He suspected she was every bit as worried as he was and just didn’t want to admit it.

 

“I know you think it would kill you to express a little concern but trust me, it wouldn’t,” he said drily. Jessica snorted. Her phone chimed with a notification.

 

“Well, there you go, Luke said Danny just showed up at the dojo. Crisis averted,” she relayed.

 

“Thank God,” he said, tension releasing from his body with a deep sigh.

 

“Man, you really had your knickers in a twist, didn’t you?” Jessica said, though Matt could tell she was relieved, too.

 

“I don’t think I ever would have been able to forgive myself if I’d made the wrong call about searching right away,” he admitted. They rode in silence for a few minutes. He could sense Jessica fidgeting with her phone, as if she kept checking for new texts despite the lack of a notification chime. “Wondering how it’s going over there?” he asked quietly. She huffed out an annoyed breath.

 

“Well, the kid can be pretty volatile under the best of circumstances. I can’t imagine him reacting well to a mental health intervention when he’s already on edge,” she mused. “I know it’s hardly the same thing, but I can’t help imagining how I’d react if you guys ganged up to tell me I had to stop drinking or something.”

 

Matt raised his eyebrows, a little surprised by her frankness.

 

“Well, you’re right, it’s not really the same thing, but it’s not a bad comparison,” he said carefully. “Claire mentioned functional alcoholics earlier. I’d say you qualify as functional. Mostly.” Jessica snorted, and though he detected an increase in tension she didn’t seem angry, so he continued. “If Danny were still managing to be functional, so to speak, without all of this stuff significantly impacting his well being, it would be different. We’d probably just be able to offer support in smaller, more subtle ways, without having to make a big deal out of it.”

 

“So as long as I manage not to be a full-time, falling down drunk lush, I’m safe from dramatic do-gooder interventions?” she drawled.

 

“Reasonably safe, I’d say,” he said with a small smile. “We touched on this before, but none of us are exactly the picture of mental health. Helping each other won’t always entail ‘dramatic do-gooder interventions’. A lot of the time I think it’s going to be just being there for each other.”

 

“Not so much a superhero team as superhero group therapy, then?” she asked. “It just keeps getting worse.” He almost chuckled at the exaggerated despair in her voice. “Well, you’re not immune from the do-gooder interventions, Murdock. This is me reminding you to call your buddy Foggy for that heart-to-heart with him and Karen.”

 

“And if you weren’t here to prod me into doing it, I likely would have kept putting it off for awhile," Matt said. "See, the group therapy is helping already.” Jessica snorted as he pulled out his phone. “Dial Foggy,” he instructed it. He listened to it ring a couple of times before it was answered.

 

“Hey, Matt,” Foggy greeted, sounding cautious but pleased.

 

“Hey, Foggy,” Matt replied. Damn, but he missed him so much. The thought bolstered his courage. “I was hoping we could go ahead and arrange a time to meet up, like I mentioned when we ran into each other at Rand?”

 

“Yeah, that would be great, Matt,” Foggy said. Matt smiled.

 

“How about I order in some food and you and Karen come to my place for dinner tomorrow? At about seven?” Matt suggested. He was momentarily distracted as Jessica’s phone chimed, followed shortly by her cursing under her breath. That certainly wasn’t a good sign.

 

“Works for me. I’ll check with Karen, but I’m pretty sure she’ll be up for it. She’s… she’s been worried about you, Matt. We both have. And… we miss you,” Foggy said quietly.

 

“I know. I miss you guys, too. I… I have a lot of things to talk to you both about. I think it’ll be good for all three of us,” Matt said.

 

“Well, I’m looking forward to it,” Foggy said brightly. “We’ll see you at seven tomorrow. Thanks, Matt.”

 

“Thank you, Foggy. I’m looking forward to it, too,” Matt said, swallowing back a sudden lump in his throat. He ended the call and turned to Jessica expectantly.

 

“It was Luke again,” she said. “Things… did not go well. Apparently Danny walked all the way from Rand to the dojo in some kind of daze. Luke said it seemed like he barely even remembered what happened. He came out of it somewhat while Claire was looking after his hand, which was pretty pulverized according to Luke, so they tried to talk to him about… everything. But the moment he realized they knew about the hallucinations, that we _all_ know now, he freaked out and left again.”

 

“He’s gone again?” Matt asked, dismayed. “They didn’t try to follow him?”

 

“Claire figured it would only upset him further considering the state he was in,” Jessica said. “They’re hoping he’s going to go to his Midtown penthouse. Apparently Claire is going to call Ward and ask _him_ to check on him.” She sounded very dubious about that plan.

 

“That might not be a bad idea, actually,” Matt said thoughtfully. “We only know pieces of bad history, we don’t really know _him_ . But Claire’s had more interaction with him, and she has pretty good instincts. And I don’t really want to say ‘he can’t be all bad if he’s important to Danny’ when we’re dealing with the whole Davos situation right now, but, well. He _is_ important to Danny. Maybe what Danny needs right now is someone more… neutral.”

 

“So now we don’t only have a team, we also have a B team?” Jessica asked drily.

 

“Sure, why not? More group therapy for everyone,” Matt said with a small smile. “I think right now Danny’s concern over how _we_ think of him is probably a big obstacle to him thinking… clearly about the situation. He might be less defensive with Ward.”

 

“Assuming Claire gets him on board and he doesn’t just try to throw Danny into Birch again,” Jessica sniped.

 

“Even if she can’t get him fully ‘on board’, so to speak, I really don’t think that’ll be an issue,” Matt mused. “He may not have been as effusive as Joy but I sensed real regret from him about it.”

 

“If you say so,” Jessica said.

 

“In any case, I really hope Claire was right about where he’s going and that Ward is willing to at least check on him,” Matt said with a sigh. “It sounds like Danny’s in rough shape and I hate to think of him somewhere alone.”

 

“You know, for all that he can act like an overexcited child, he is actually an adult. He’s not helpless,” Jessica said.

 

“You’re not fooling anyone,” he countered, his voice taking on a more gentle tone. “I know you’re starting to care about him, despite your best efforts. He’s been through so much, not just today, but the past fifteen, more like sixteen years now. In a lot of ways he’s still painfully young. And you’re perceptive enough to know that his outward confidence is mostly bravado which he wears like a shield.” Jessica was quiet for a moment before responding.

 

“Fine. So I’m not completely indifferent. The kid’s been growing on me. Like fungus,” she muttered. She was saved further discussion about her feelings by their arrival at the hotel.

 

“Yikes. This place is beyond decadent,” Jessica said as they entered the lobby of the Lotte New York Palace. “Though I guess the effect is wasted on you.”

 

“Trust me, I can smell the money in the air,” Matt said drily. “So where do we start? I defer to your expertise.”

 

“Well, normally I’d question staff members, show them the picture, see if they recognize him. The fancier the place the more dicey that can get, though,” she said. “Hey… you’d be able to tell if he was nearby, wouldn’t you? Scope him out with your super senses?”

 

“So, what, you want me to serve as some kind of bloodhound?” he asked, amused.

 

“Hey, man, any smart investigator uses the resources they have on hand. You’re the one who heard a gunshot from like twenty floors away. You can’t pick people out by like, I don’t know, their distinctive heartbeats or something? Or maybe a scent?” she drawled. He could practically _feel_ her smirking. It might have been irritating from someone else but he found that he didn’t mind her teasing.

 

“Unless they have some kind of defect, heartbeats don’t tend to be that distinct,” Matt said drily. “But yes, generally I can pick out someone I’ve met before based on a number of factors. Some people are more distinctive than others, and distance and the amount of interference from other people and the environment have an effect as well. I can-.” He suddenly froze as he became aware of a slowly approaching presence. But… it couldn’t be.

 

It _couldn’t_ be.

 

Heart thundering in his chest, his whole body singing with adrenaline, he focused, trying to deny what his senses were telling him. But it was her. He was sure of it.

 

“Matt?” Jessica asked. “What’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Felt a ghost. Whatever. Are you okay?”

 

“Gao,” he said, his voice strained. “She’s _here_.”

 

“What? That’s impossible,” Jessica hissed, whipping around to scan the lobby. When she suddenly froze, Matt knew she must have spotted her, confirming what he had still been hoping was some kind of a mistake, despite what his senses were telling him. How was it _possible_? And if _she_ had somehow survived the collapse of the Midland Circle building, did that mean…?

 

He honestly wasn’t sure what he hoped the answer to that was.

 

The two of them stood transfixed and on guard as Gao made her way towards them, flanked by two guards.

 

“Mr. Murdock, Miss Jones, how nice it is to see you after all this time,” Gao greeted them. Always the picture of false civility.

 

“What… what the _hell_?” Jessica said.

 

“How are you _alive_?” Matt demanded.

 

“What a strange question to ask a Finger of the Hand,” Gao laughed.

 

“But… the ‘substance’ or whatever it was you needed… it was supposed to be all gone,” Matt said. “Not to mention the _building_ that fell on your _head_.” She laughed again and Matt gripped his cane so hard it threatened to crack.

 

“Your naiveté is charming as always, Mr. Murdock,” she said. “Do you think we would really reveal all our secrets so easily? I am not the fool Alexandra was.”

 

“Jesus, this is insane,” Jessica muttered.

 

“Wait…,” Matt said as realization dawned. He’d been so shocked by her appearance that he’d almost forgotten he wasn’t wearing the suit. And she was calling him by name. “You… you know me?”

 

“Yes, of course,” Gao laughed slyly. “Young Mr. Matthew Murdock, Esquire, who was once the paramour of young Miss Elektra Natchios. A man of many hidden talents, are you not?”

 

Matt felt a chill run up his spine. She knew. She knew who he was, who  _ Daredevil _ was. Had… had _Elektra_ told her?

 

“I know what it is you really want to know now, Mr. Murdock,” Gao continued in that unctuous tone that always made Matt want to punch her, for all that she was an elderly woman. He knew she was far from fragile. Her very presence there proved that. “Go ahead, ask the question that has been burning in your mind since the moment you sensed me.”

 

“Elektra,” Matt said, unable to help himself. “If you made it out….”

 

“Matt, you know you won’t be able to trust anything she says,” Jessica warned.

 

“Indeed, and I feel no need to answer your question, as you will not believe me no matter what I say,” Gao said slyly. Matt felt a little like his world was shifting around him, like the air was being sucked out of his lungs.

 

 _She can’t be alive. She just can’t be,_ he thought desperately, afraid to hope, afraid of what it might mean if she was.

 

And yet there stood Madam Gao, proof of the impossible.

 

“You _bitch_ ,” Jessica hissed, taking a step forward. Matt grabbed her arm.

 

“It’s probably not the best idea to make a scene here,” he cautioned her, though he understood her anger all too well.

 

“You’re the one helping Davos, aren’t you? That’s why he came here?” Jessica growled.

 

“Ah, so it is because of him that you have found your way here. I thought this hotel was a little beyond either of your means. Yes, we just had a nice little chat up in his suite,” Gao replied, amused.

 

“But he hates the Hand. He considers them his mortal enemies. Why would he work with you?” Matt asked.

 

“Young Mr. Davos is an arrogant child, who believes he can use me for his own purposes and then kill me at his leisure when he is finished. He will be in for a surprise,” Gao replied with a small laugh.

 

“Is this whole thing your doing?” Matt asked.

 

“He needed no encouragement from me or anyone else,” Gao said dismissively. “The petulant child has lost his favourite toy, and now he’s throwing a tantrum. He thinks he wants to destroy it so that no one else can play with it, but I suspect that what he really wants is to have it back for himself.”

 

“And by _toy_ are you referring to _Danny_?” Jessica asked, her voice thick with rage.

 

“I am,” Gao replied, unapologetic. Jessica almost snarled and Matt tightened his grip on her arm. “It is a sad thing indeed, to imagine how far the monastery in K’un Lun must have fallen from its former glory, to be producing such lost children. Young Danny who, feeling empty and alone, abandoned his sacred post. Young Davos, who would collude with the most hated of enemies in pursuit of his... _personal_ obsession.”

 

“So why _are_ you helping him?” Matt grit out.

 

“When you live as long as I have, Mr. Murdock, you must find your entertainment where you can,” Gao said brightly. “And I find young Davos’ obsession with Danny Rand _very_ entertaining.”

 

“Bitch,” Jessica hissed. Gao laughed.

 

“Poor Mr. Rand is not doing so well, either, is he, the poor child? Still adrift and alone, still so lost and only becoming more so all the time. And now his… _friend_ is here to reclaim him. I am very curious to see, will this finally be the straw that breaks the camel’s back?” Gao said.

 

“Danny is _not_ alone,” Matt said. “And we’re not going to let anything happen to him.”

 

“It might be wise not to underestimate Davos. His is an obsession tinged with madness. He will not be reasoned with,” Gao said.

 

“It might be wise to take your own advice,” Jessica sneered. “You’re the one working with him.”

 

“Ah, but I am not the object of his obsession,” Gao replied. “His hatred of the Hand has very much so taken a backseat to his focus on young Mr. Rand. And he will not be satisfied until he possesses him, destroys him, or both.”

 

“Just... just what the hell are you implying with all these snide remarks?” Jessica demanded.

 

“I think you know very well, Miss Jones,” Gao said. “I’m quite sure you’ve already had suspicions yourself.”

 

“What did that bastard do?” Jessica bit out. Matt almost winced at the amount of venom in her voice.

 

“Maybe nothing that Mr. Rand didn’t want or enjoy, who are we to say, Miss Jones?” Gao said lightly. “Maybe they were two young boys happily ‘experimenting’ together, as they like to say now. Or maybe older, wiser Davos manipulated and took advantage of young, naive, _desperate_ for affection Danny. Maybe it was something even worse. Perhaps you should ask him yourself, if you want to know.”

 

“You don’t know anything, you’re just trying to stir things up,” Matt said angrily as Jessica cursed under her breath.

 

“Yes, of course it is perfectly possible that everything between them was completely innocent,” Gao said mockingly. “But you are no fool, Mr. Murdock.” Matt grit his teeth, wanting to deny it. But… Davos had already made a suggestive insinuation when he’d shown up at the dojo earlier. And Matt couldn’t deny that the possibility that there had been more than ‘just’ friendship between Davos and Danny had certainly crossed his mind. Whatever form it might have taken, whether it had been consensual or, God forbid, something else, it would certainly go a long way towards explaining why Davos would be coming after him now, and why it was having such a particularly devastating effect on Danny.

 

“Well, this has certainly been amusing, but I am late for an appointment. Please do give my regards to the others, especially young Mr. Rand,” Gao said. With that she and her guards continued on their way past them, heading for the exit. Jessica took an abortive step forward, but had already realized the futility of pursuit before Matt needed to stop her.

 

“Fucking _hell,_ ” she said, running her hands through her hair.

 

“Sounds about right,” Matt said. The whole encounter couldn’t have taken more than a few minutes, really, but he suddenly felt exhausted. Not to mention that he was still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that the encounter had happened at all. Gao… alive. Maybe… maybe Elektra, too. And there had been another one down there, hadn’t there? Murakami. Was he alive, too?

 

The Hand was supposed to be _gone_. He’d already mourned Elektra _twice_. Was the nightmare ever going to end?

 

“Well, we know who that bastard is working with, anyway,” Jessica said with a huffed breath. “Fuck. All that shit she was implying… do you really think?”

 

“I think the best case we can hope for at this point is that it’s something innocent, like they just fooled around together,” Matt said grimly. “But… does Danny even like guys?”

 

“Based on how much he checks out you and Luke, I’m going to say yes,” Jessica said drily.

 

“Oh… really?” Matt asked, his face flushing a little.

 

“Sometimes there’s almost drool,” she said. “I won’t say it’s impossible he’s not even consciously aware of doing it, though.”

 

“But it does mean there’s at least a chance that if something did happen between them, it was consensual,” Matt said hopefully. Other possibilities were too awful to contemplate just then.

 

“God, I really don’t want to think about this,” Jessica complained, echoing his thoughts. “What a fucking mess. And now fucking _Gao_ and the Hand are still a thing, when they’re supposed to have been dealt with months ago. And Jesus, Matt, are _you_ okay? I can’t even imagine… I mean, I guess we have to concede that if Gao is alive, then it’s _possible_ ….”

 

“I… I don’t really know if I’m okay,” he said honestly. “It’s feeling pretty surreal at the moment. I think we need to try to focus on one problem at a time, though.” If he started to let himself dwell on… on Elektra, he had no doubt that he’d spiral out of control pretty quickly. The thought scared him.

 

“Right,” Jessica sighed. “I guess we’re done here. Gao confirmed the bastard had a suite. She really didn’t care about giving us information about him, did she? So we know where he’s staying, and who he’s working with. I say we report in with the others and call it a night.”

 

“When exactly did Davos become ‘the bastard’?” Matt asked, amused despite himself.

 

“When it became pretty clear that he probably fucking put his hands on Danny!” she snapped. Matt was quiet for a moment as Jessica breathed deeply, clearly trying to reign in her emotions.

 

“You don’t think there’s any chance it was… innocent, do you?” he asked her softly.

 

“My every instinct is telling me otherwise,” she confirmed, her voice flinty. “I’ve been trying to deny it, but…. I think you’re wrong about the best case scenario. I have a feeling the best we can hope for is manipulation and not force. But that still makes him a _disgusting, slimy fucking bastard_. Especially if some kind of gross, jealous, possessive obsession is the reason he’s after him now.”

 

The two of them stood in a grim silence for a moment, lost in their own thoughts, until they were interrupted by a chime from Jessica’s phone.

 

“Ward confirmed to Claire that Danny’s at his penthouse. He’s going to stay with him awhile, see if he can get him to talk,” Jessica reported.

 

“That’s some good news at least,” Matt said.

 

“Wait til they find out Gao’s alive,” Jessica muttered, typing away on her phone. “And apparently in the commotion earlier they didn’t even get a chance to tell Danny about the bastard’s appearance at the dojo this afternoon.”

 

“What? He definitely needs to know that!” Matt said. He waited patiently as Jessica texted back and forth with Claire for a few moments.

 

“Okay, they are suitably freaked out by Gao’s reappearance,” Jessica said. “But Claire still wants to let Danny cool off for the night. We’ll figure out how to tell him about both the visit and Gao tomorrow. Assuming he’s willing to speak to any of us by then.”

 

“Does she want us to come by the dojo?” he asked.

 

“Not necessary. She’s going to stay there with Colleen tonight. She doesn’t want her to be alone,” Jessica said.

 

“That’s probably a good idea. I can’t even imagine how difficult this must be for her,” Matt said.

 

“She says we’ll coordinate a game plan in the morning. Everyone’s had a hell of a day,” Jessica said, putting her phone away. “I need a _drink_. How about you?”

 

“I think I could do without being alone right now, so yeah, a drink would be pretty nice,” he said with no small measure of relief. The thought of heading home alone to his empty loft and facing thoughts of… well, it didn’t even bear contemplating. They headed for the lobby exit, neither of them wanting to brave the hotel’s ridiculously opulent bar. One never had to walk far in Manhattan to find another bar, anyway.

 

“So, Murdock,” Jessica drawled after they’d walked in silence for a moment, Matt’s hand hooked in her elbow. Purely for show, of course. “Why have you been tagging along with me all day? Surely you had more important lawyer-y things to be doing.” Matt took a moment before answering.

 

“I don’t have any urgent cases right now,” he said. “And, well, teams use teamwork, don’t they? You never know when two heads will be better than one. Why, am I cramping your style?” She was quiet for so long that he started to think she wasn’t going to reply.

 

“No,” she finally said, with no trace of her usual sarcasm. “I don’t mind the company at all.”

 

TBC

 


	12. Danny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HUGE thanks to everyone who has taken the time to leave kudos or comments! I have gotten some especially lovely comments lately and they always brighten my day. It means SO much to me that people are connecting with this fic. <3

Despite his exhaustion, Danny found that sleep would not come easily. His mind refused to quiet, running in circles around thoughts of Davos, K’un Lun, and everything else that had happened that day. It didn’t help that the bed felt huge without Colleen’s comforting presence at his side. He missed her so much he felt hollow. After a few hours of drifting in and out of disturbing, fragmented dreams, he finally gave up.

 

He found a can of coffee grounds in the freezer and was able to figure out how the complicated, expensive machine worked so that he could make himself a cup. As it brewed he contemplated his injured hand, flexing his swollen fingers a little. He could barely move them at all, the swelling having gotten even worse overnight. He’d likely delayed healing it long enough. He closed his eyes and concentrated. The warm glow of his chi filled his being and he carefully channelled it through the damaged tissue and bone. By the time his coffee was ready, his hand was as good as new.

 

As he poured himself a cup, he wondered yet again why no mention had ever been made of the Iron Fist’s healing abilities during his training. He would almost think it had been a slight against him personally, another mark of their disapproval of the outsider, but it hadn’t come up in any of the tales or legends told about the Fist amongst the students or villagers, either. Perhaps, since the Fist was meant to be the mightiest, fiercest warrior, having a healing aspect to his abilities was considered unimportant by the Elders? Thinking of Lei Kung’s stern, unforgiving face with a shudder, Danny found it easy to imagine that they might consider such a thing as soft and unnecessary. But apparently it hadn’t always been so. Bakuto’s surprise that it hadn’t been included in his training had seemed genuine.

 

He supposed it was foolish to think that K’un Lun society would have remained stagnant and unchanging over time, any more than any other culture. After all, for centuries they had warmly welcomed pilgrims, many of whom decided to stay and intermarry with the K’un Lun natives. But as the numbers of pilgrims had dwindled and finally dried up, attitudes towards ‘outsiders’ had hardened and grown cold, even amongst those descended from former pilgrims themselves. So perhaps once, the Iron Fist had been regarded as more of a balanced figure, both a warrior _and_ a healer. There hadn’t always been the Hand to defend against, after all.

 

On that note, maybe the betrayal of the Hand had been the catalyst for everything. The isolationism, the distrust of outsiders, a harsher, more militaristic atmosphere at the monastery school….

 

And maybe he had absolutely no idea and it was all pointless speculation.

 

With a sigh he moved towards the living room windows to gaze out at the city as he sipped his coffee. It was so early there wasn’t even a hint of dawn in the sky. Exhaustion pulled at him but the prospect of more tossing and turning intermingled with snatches of unpleasant dreams kept him from returning to the bedroom. Anxiety about what the day might bring pulsed under his skin.

 

 _"No one will come,"_ Davos’ voice said in his ear. " _They’re rid of you now. It’s what they wanted."_

 

Danny’s grip tightened reflexively on his coffee mug. Ward had said someone amongst the others was likely to come by to talk to him. But would they? And… did he _want_ them to?

 

Honestly, the thought of facing them, any of them, was mortifying. _Beyond_ mortifying. It made his heart pound and his breath quicken and his palms sweat.

 

But the thought of being proven right in his suspicions, that they just wanted to get rid of him, that now that he had left none of them would come after him… that thought definitely felt _worse_.

 

Perhaps Ward had managed to kindle a bit of hope in him, that they really had been sincere. That they understood and really didn’t think badly of him, that they wanted to try to help him without involving a hospital or drugs. The thought was dizzying. Terrifying. And absolutely amazing.

 

So if no one came, if they just left him alone now… he wasn’t sure how he’d react. He’d almost thought he’d wanted that last night, when the pain and the shock and the utter _embarrassment_ of finding out they knew had been so fresh.

 

But... he _didn’t_ want that. He wanted Colleen. He wanted… he wanted a _family_.

 

 _"They will NEVER be your family,"_ Davos hissed. _"_ _I am the only family you will ever have."_

 

Danny turned away from the window, his heart heavy, his mind whirling with anxiety. Speculation was pointless. He didn’t know what would happen, or what the others were really thinking. It would be hours yet before anyone was likely to show up, if anyone _was_ going to show up. He needed to try to clear his head. After rinsing out his mug and setting it in the rack to dry, he returned to the spacious living room and started running through his forms, doing his best to ignore Davos and Lei Kung, both of whom stood watching but were thankfully silent, at least for the time being.

 

He kept at it for hours, craving the peaceful blankness that it brought to his mind. He didn’t stop until his limbs were shaking from the effort. He soothed the sore muscles with a hot shower, the sleek chrome setup in the penthouse bathroom seeming alien compared to the ancient, rusty monstrosity at the dojo. Danny wondered idly if Colleen would agree to have it remodeled, nothing fancy, just a basic upgrade, before suddenly remembering that she might very well not want him to come back, the thought like a knife in his chest.

 

“She loves you,” he told his reflection in the mirror, thinking of Ward’s certainty on the matter last night. He was pretty sure he believed it, at least when he was thinking clearly, but love didn’t fix everything. Sometimes love wasn’t enough. She… she could love him and still think he was too… too much _trouble_ to deal with.

 

 _"No one wants damaged goods,"_ Davos sneered, his reflection standing behind Danny’s in the mirror.

 

“ _Shut up!_ ” Danny yelled, smashing his fist into the mirror, shattering it. Davos’ laughter echoed around him as he stared in horror at the shards scattered over the sink and floor.

 

“Fuck,” he muttered. He needed to get a grip on himself. He couldn’t keep lashing out like that. At least he’d still been holding the towel he’d used to dry himself off. It was likely the only reason his fist wasn’t cut to ribbons. And wouldn’t that have been something, injuring himself like that twice in less than twenty-four hours?

 

He really was a fucking mess.

 

His heart leapt into his throat as the doorbell rang.

 

It was likely too early to be Colleen or Claire or any of them, he told himself as he hastily pulled on some clothes and headed for the door. It was probably just the messenger from Rand with his phone. A quick check through the peephole confirmed it. He plastered a smile on his face and opened the door to collect the envelope from the young man, who seemed a little flustered to be dealing with _the_ Danny Rand. When Danny thanked him profusely for the delivery, he flushed even more, stammered his way through a ‘You’re very welcome, sir’, and then beat a hasty retreat. Danny would have to remember to ask Ward to give him a hefty bonus for his trouble.

 

He ripped open the envelope and slid his phone out onto the kitchen counter. Staring at it, he suddenly felt apprehensive. Would there be messages from… them? Probably not, since they’d apparently been aware that he’d left his phone at the office.

 

But… maybe instead of waiting around on tenterhooks all day _he_ should reach out to _them_? He suddenly wanted to hear Colleen’s voice so badly it ached.

 

No. He shouldn’t do that, though. If it turned out that they did intend to just leave him alone now, he didn’t want to try to… _impose_ himself back into their lives. If they wanted nothing more to do with him, he’d respect their wishes. It was the least he could do.

 

 _"You shouldn’t have involved yourself with them in the first place,"_ Davos said bitterly.

 

 _"To have abandoned your sacred duty and taken up with such lawless ruffians, only to have them abandon you in turn. What a foolish child you’ve always been,"_ Lei Kung said.

 

“Shut up,” Danny said, though it was without any heat. He just felt an overwhelming weariness. Sighing, he picked up his phone. There were some Rand emails about the charitable foundation and some other projects. A text from Ward, asking him to check in once he had the phone. He quickly typed out a reply to him.

 

Another text from Joy, from late last night. _‘Ward told me everything. I love you and support you, Danny. This changes nothing. Call me if you need anything.’_ His heart clenched in his chest, tears suddenly blurring his vision.

 

That Ward and Joy, at the very least, were willing to accept his… his whatever it was, without judgement…. The feeling was indescribable. He’d been so sure for so long that anyone’s immediate reaction would be rejection and derision. He wasn’t sure he knew how to cope with acceptance.

 

 _"They don’t mean it,"_ Davos said. " _The moment this supposed acceptance is put to the test, you know they’ll fail you."_

 

Danny grit his teeth, doing his best to ignore him.

 

The last notification was a voicemail. From Colleen’s number.

 

Danny’s heart pounded in his chest. The timestamp was from a couple of hours after he’d left the dojo last night. His hands trembling, he dialled in to listen to the message.

 

 _“Danny, I know you don’t have your phone right now, but in case you get it back before I see you again, I just wanted to say…  I love you so much.”_ There was a pause as she took a hitching breath. Danny’s hand clenched on the phone, his own breath catching in his chest. _“I… I didn’t mean to betray your trust. I’m sorry. I’m_ **_so_ ** _sorry, Danny. I… I was scared for you and I didn’t know what to do and I thought Claire could help. We all care about you so much, Danny, and we want to help you. Please… please don’t hate me. Please don’t shut us out. I love you and I hope I see you soon. Please take care of yourself, Danny.”_

 

Danny ended the call and tossed the phone on the counter, feeling completely overwhelmed. Colleen’s voice had sounded absolutely wrecked. She was hurting and upset and it was all his fault. Agonizing guilt churned through him.

 

But she’d also said she loved hm. That she still wanted to see him. Warmth pulsed through him in a dizzying rush, the conflicting emotions warring with each other and making him feel strange and off-balance.

 

 _"You bring nothing but pain to those around you,"_ Lei Kung said, his voice heavy with disapproval.

 

“I’m not listening to you,” Danny muttered. He picked up the phone and played the message again, listening to every nuance of Colleen’s voice. She sounded completely sincere, emotion dripping from every word. His heart swelled. He wanted nothing more in that moment than to take her in his arms and soothe away all her pain. There couldn’t possibly be any kind of ulterior motive for a message like that… could there?

 

 _"She’s trying to lull you into a false sense of security before they throw you in that hospital forever,"_ Davos sneered. _"_ _They’re not satisfied with just leaving you alone. They want to be sure you’re out of their hair for good."_

 

“You’re wrong,” Danny said, trying to sound more confident than he felt. But he _was_ wrong, he had to be. Even if Colleen didn’t want anything to do with him anymore, she wouldn’t do something that duplicitous. It just wasn’t in her nature… was it?

 

He practically growled in frustration, running his hands through his hair. Why couldn’t he stop second-guessing himself? He _knew_ Colleen. He _knew_ she wouldn’t do something like that. Why did these doubts keep circling around in his mind? Why couldn’t he stop the tension and fear and anxiety from flooding his body at the thought that there was still danger of them trying to throw him into Birch?

 

 _"Because you know that even if they wouldn’t do it to anyone else, they’ll make an exception to get rid of_ **_you_** _,"_ Davos laughed.

 

“They wouldn’t, they wouldn’t,” Danny said, rubbing his temples as if that could block Davos out. Colleen, Claire, Luke, Matt, Jessica… they were _good_ people. They… they wouldn’t _lie._ They wouldn’t try to trick him.

 

 _"Yes, they were very up front about it the last time they turned on you, weren’t they?"_ Davos sneered.

 

 _"It’s because_ _they are good people that a faithless traitor like yourself has no place amongst them,"_ Lei Kung added.

 

“A few minutes ago they were lawless ruffians,” Danny muttered. It figured that his hallucinations couldn’t even remain consistent in the bile they were spewing. But it rang true. What had he been thinking, trying to be one of them? They were so much _better_ than he was, in every way.

 

 _"Yes, as unlikely as it is that their offer of help is genuine, what does it even matter if it were? You still don’t_ **_belong_** _. You are still doing nothing but causing trouble, and they would still be better off without you,"_ Davos said gleefully.

 

Danny sank down to sit on the floor, his head in his hands. Tension thrummed under his skin and it was taking everything he had not to lose control and lash out. He wished suddenly and with blinding fervour that he could just _disappear._

 

 _"Yes, that would be best, wouldn’t it?"_ Davos said, his voice taking on a cloying tone. _"Just_ _disappear, so you can never hurt anyone again. No more pain, no more confusion. Everyone would be better off, including you. It would be so_ **_easy_** _."_

 

So easy. Peace, and quiet, and _rest_. A step off a building, a knife in an artery, a handful of the right pills. And everything would be fine. For everybody.

 

Danny froze, a cold chill sweeping through him.

 

It had been a long time since such thoughts had come on so strongly. But first the despair last night, and now even one of his imaginary voices was encouraging it. _That_ had never happened before. It was… frightening.

 

 _"You know it’s what you deserve,"_ Davos hissed.

 

 _"You could be reunited with the parents you weep so pathetically over,"_ Lei Kung added.

 

“Shut up,” Danny whispered desperately. He rose shakily to his feet, fumbling for his phone on the counter with trembling hands. Should he… call someone? It didn’t feel… _safe_ to be alone, suddenly.

 

 _"You’ll_ **_always_ ** _be alone,"_ Davos sneered. _"Just_ _put us_ **_all_ ** _out of your misery, why don’t you?"_

 

Danny shuddered, his eyes landing on the block of chef’s knives on the counter almost against his will. He picked it up, intending to shove it into a random cupboard, needing it out of sight. Davos’ laughter rang out around him.

 

_"How did someone as pathetic as you ever earn the Iron Fist? There is no way to escape any of this, Danny. No way but one. Perhaps you should have let the Hand do it, if you are too much of a coward to do it yourself."_

 

Danny screamed, turning to throw the knife block at Davos where he stood smirking a few feet away. But of course it just sailed through him, smashing into the stainless steel fridge, leaving a sizable dent and sending a half dozen knives clattering noisily to the floor.

 

He stood panting for a moment, his fists clenched and his heart racing, before there was a sudden pounding on the door.

 

“Danny? Danny, are you okay?” Colleen’s frantic voice called out.

 

“If we don’t get an answer I’m going to have to break down this door to make sure you’re okay. We heard a yell and a crash,” Luke’s voice added.

 

Danny stared in shock at the door, the blood rushing in his head, before he was seized with one thought that pushed out all others.

 

 _Colleen_.

 

He stumbled forward and hastily opened the door, throwing his arms around Colleen in a fierce embrace the moment his eyes landed on her. She clutched him back just as desperately.

 

“God, Danny, I’ve been so worried,” she breathed.

 

“I don’t know what’s happening to me,” he said, his voice cracking with emotion. “They… they won’t _shut up_ and I… I can’t _control_ myself and everything is a mess and… and I’m so _tired,_ Colleen, I just want it to stop. I just want it all to _stop._ ” Tears were tracking down his face, getting in her hair, but it didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was that she was _there_.

 

“We’ll figure it out, Danny, I promise. Everything is going to be okay,” she said. They stood there clutching each other for several long moments before Claire cleared her throat.

 

“I hate to interrupt the happy reunion, but what _was_ that crash we heard when we got here? Are you hurt, Danny?” she asked. Danny released Colleen reluctantly, pulling back and wiping at his damp face. She quickly wiped tears from her own face as well.

 

“N-no, it was nothing,” he said, finding himself too embarrassed to fully meet Claire’s eyes. “Well… there’s a bit of a mess in the kitchen.”

 

“May we come in?” she asked.

 

“Oh! Oh, yeah, of course,” he said, backing up and waving them inside. They filed past him as he averted his eyes. Colleen headed straight for the living room but Claire and Luke paused to eye the dented fridge door and the knives scattered on the floor around the wooden block before following her. Danny flushed with embarrassment at the evidence of his instability. As soon as he’d closed the door and joined them in the living room, Colleen’s hand sought out his and he clasped it gratefully. He looked around warily but there was no sign of Davos or Lei Kung.

 

“No offence, Danny, but you look like shit,” Luke observed with obvious concern.

 

“Did you get any sleep at all?” Claire asked.

 

“Not much,” he admitted.

 

“You barely slept the night before, either,” Colleen said worriedly. “You must be exhausted.” She moved to sit on one of the couches, tugging on his hand to encourage him to sit as well. Luke and Claire sat together on the other couch.

 

“Yeah,” he said wearily, running a hand through his hair. “My brain just won’t… be quiet.” He glanced over at Luke and Claire but could still not quite meet their eyes. He was far too nervous, anxiety seeping back in over his initial relief at seeing Colleen again.

 

“At the risk of sounding like a mother hen… have you eaten anything today?” Claire asked.

 

“Uh… no,” he said, surprised at the realization. Though he’d been up for hours eating breakfast hadn’t even occurred to him. Much like he’d basically forgotten to eat for most of the day before. Claire frowned.

 

“I know it’s only been a couple of days, but that’s really not a habit you should fall into, Danny,” she said carefully. “Maintaining a healthy diet is a vital factor not just in physical health but in mental health as well.” Danny flushed. There it was. They were going to talk about how crazy he was.

 

“I’m… I’m sorry about yesterday, okay? For… for yelling and storming out and everything. But I can’t go to a hospital. I _can’t,_ ” he said pleadingly. Colleen gripped his hand tighter.

 

“We’d never do that to you, Danny,” she said.

 

“We’re not angry, either,” Claire said. “It’s a very delicate subject and you were already… on edge. Nobody blames you for having a bad reaction. It’s completely understandable.”

 

“We also understand why you don’t want to go to the hospital,” Luke said. “Claire’s done a lot of research on alternatives, stuff we can do ourselves. _We’re_ going to help you, Danny. You’re not going to go through this alone. We’re not just a team, we’re your friends. We’re going to be here for you.” Danny blinked at them in shock for a moment, feeling completely overwhelmed.

 

“You… don’t want to get rid of me?” he asked tentatively. “You still want me on the team?”

 

“Of course we do, man. Now that you have us there’s no getting rid of us,” Luke said.

 

Danny didn’t know what to say. He’d been so sure they didn’t want him, had been so afraid to even hope that he could really be one of them, that he could _belong._ But they’d never get a better excuse to abandon him, and… and they _weren’t._

 

He… still felt pretty awful, mentally and physically. He was still horrifically embarrassed that they knew how… how _crazy_ he was. It still felt like being stripped bare and having all of his vulnerabilities exposed.

 

But… they weren’t laughing at him. They weren’t abandoning him or trying to get rid of hm. It finally started to sink in that they wanted to _help_ him.

 

It was… unreal. He felt a spike of alarm that maybe it _wasn’t_ real. But he could feel Colleen’s hand in his, warm and solid and _real_.

 

“T-thank you,” he finally managed to say.

 

“There’s no need to thank us. It’s what friends are for,” Claire said.

 

“Well, thank you anyway,” Danny said. “It… it really means a lot to me.” He turned to face Colleen. “And I’m not angry with you for telling them. I was upset at first, but I understand why you did it. I’m… I’m sorry I’ve caused you so much pain and trouble.”

 

“Danny, I _love_ you. You’re worth all the pain and trouble in the world,” she said, relief plain on her face.

 

“Doesn’t mean I’m any happier about causing it,” he mumbled ruefully.

 

“What if it was me?” she asked. “What if I was the one having hallucinations and… and outbursts and everything else? Would you blame me or think badly of me? Would you think it was too much to deal with and leave?” Danny stared at her, aghast.

 

“Of course not!” he said.

 

“Then trust that I feel just as strongly about you as you do about me. Nothing could drive me away from you, Danny. Nothing,” she said fervently.

 

“Colleen…,” he said, staring at her in wonder. His heart felt like it might burst out of his chest. How could he have ever doubted her, even for a second?

 

Suddenly remembering that they weren’t alone, he glanced over at Claire and Luke, who both had small, pleased smiles on their faces. He flushed with embarrassment again.

 

“So… how are you feeling, Danny?” Claire asked.

 

“It’s… hard to say,” he replied. It was certainly the truth. He’d been swinging through one extreme of emotion after another for what felt like days, with little sleep or food. He felt drained, worn out, depressed, anxious, confused, embarrassed… but he didn’t know how to put it into words, really. He’d never had to before. Emotions were considered a weakness at the monastery. Nobody _talked_ about them. Lei Kung had always gotten so _angry_ when he got emotional. The other students had mocked him. It still felt strange and alien, the idea that anybody cared, that anybody _wanted_ to listen and help.

 

Not to mention that talking about his feelings would have been hard to do even under ‘normal’ circumstances. But the hallucinations? The embarrassment of that made it so much worse. Ward had said it would take time for him to get used to the idea of people knowing. Danny wasn’t sure that he ever would. Even in the warm glow of their seeming acceptance, he still felt so _ashamed._

 

“Maybe you could tell us what happened right before we got here?” Luke suggested. Danny grimaced. Part of him wanted to refuse, insist that _nothing_ had happened, he was fine, and could they just get back to their normal lives now, please?

 

But he wasn’t fine. Not even close. He couldn’t deny it anymore, not even to himself.

 

And at least until his brain decided to take him on another nauseating rollercoaster ride, he felt like he could trust them.

 

He could do this.

 

“I… I was hearing them. Davos and Lei Kung,” he said, tension thrumming under his skin. He kept his eyes fixed on the floor, unable to look at any of them. Colleen’s grip on his hand felt like his only anchor. “It upset me. I… I tried to ignore them, but I lost control. I’d picked up the knife block to hide it away, but I ended up throwing it at Davos.” He huffed out a small, bitter laugh. “Talk about crazy, right? Throwing something at a figment of your imagination.”

 

“Danny… why did you want to hide the knife block?” Claire asked, her voice a little strained.

 

He realized what he may have unwittingly hinted at and grimaced again. But… he’d scared _himself_ with those thoughts. They… probably _did_ need to know. But if he’d thought talking about the hallucinations was difficult and mortifying, admitting to _that_ seemed even more daunting.

 

“Danny?” Colleen prompted gently, squeezing his hand.

 

“I was scared,” he blurted out in a rush. “I was scared I would use one. To… to hurt myself. I wanted them out of sight.”

 

“Fuck,” Luke muttered, running his hands over his face.

 

“You’re saying you were feeling suicidal,” Claire said, her voice carefully controlled. Danny flinched a little at the word. “Is that right, Danny?”

 

“Yeah,” he agreed reluctantly.

 

“Oh, Danny,” Colleen said sadly, shifting closer to him and releasing his hand so that she could wrap her arm around his shoulders, pulling him into a half embrace.

 

“Have you ever felt like that before?” Claire asked.

 

“A few times, when I was younger,” he said. “And… last night, before Ward came.”

 

“Are you still feeling it?” she asked. Danny chewed his bottom lip contemplatively for a moment.

 

“I don’t know,” he said honestly. “I think I feel okay now. But….”

 

“But you don’t know if it’ll last,” Claire said. He nodded miserably.

 

“Davos and Lei Kung… they… they were _encouraging_ me to do it,” he confessed softly. “That’s never happened before. It… it scared me.” Colleen tightened her embrace and he leaned into it gratefully. He saw Claire and Luke exchange grim looks.

 

“First off, thank you for telling us, Danny, I’m sure it wasn’t easy,” Claire said. She looked thoughtful for a moment before continuing. “How would you feel if for the time being we had kind of a buddy system, so that you aren’t left alone? Would that help, or do you think you’d feel smothered?”

 

Danny thought about how he wasn’t sure what might have ended up happening the previous night if Ward hadn’t come to bring food and talk. About how things might have progressed if the three of them hadn’t shown up when they did that day. He didn’t want to think that he might have given in and done something terrible and rash, but he didn’t _know,_ not for sure. He just felt so out of _control._ And it scared him.

 

“It would be better, I think,” he admitted reluctantly.

 

“Great,” Claire said with obvious relief. “This is very good, Danny. We want you to be able to talk to us about any of these feelings that you have. You don’t have to be embarrassed. It won’t happen overnight, but if we can work through this together it _will_ get better with time.”

 

“You won’t feel like this forever, Danny. We won’t let that happen. We promise,” Luke said.

 

Danny swallowed back another surge of emotion. It felt strangely like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders at the same time that a noose had been placed around his neck. He felt _raw_ and broken open and exposed in a way he’d never been before in his life. Part of him still cringed in horror at having discussed _hallucinations_ and _suicide_ and anything at all having to do with _craziness_. Out loud, with people he respected and _cared_ about. But... they cared about him, too. Their words of reassurance and acceptance meant more to him than he could ever say. If only… if only he wasn’t such a _mess…._

 

“Why is this happening to me?” he asked, hating how weak his voice sounded.

 

“Mental illness can happen for so many reasons, or sometimes for no discernible reason at all,” Claire said sadly. “But childhood trauma is one of the biggest known risk factors. You’ve been through _so much,_ Danny. It would actually be pretty shocking if you _weren’t_ suffering any lingering effects.”

 

“We’ll keep saying it as many times as you need to hear it. There is _no shame_ in what you’re going through,” Luke said. Danny managed a small, grateful smile for him.

 

“None of us are qualified to give an official diagnosis, but one of the conditions that comes pretty close is complex PTSD with psychotic features,” Claire said.

 

“Psychotic?” Danny asked, his stomach lurching.

 

“Don’t let the word scare you,” she said reassuringly. “And I don’t think the label matters so much anyway. So many of these disorders have overlapping symptoms and possible causes, coming to a diagnosis can be a challenge even for specialists.”

 

“But… childhood trauma. That’s why this is happening?” he asked.

 

“I believe so, yes,” she said firmly. “The plane crash, losing your parents, and….”

 

“And K’un Lun,” Danny supplied quietly.

 

“Yes. And K’un Lun,” she agreed. Danny was quiet for a moment, his mind whirling.

 

“Both Joy and Ward… they said the training sounded like abuse,” he said. All three of the others exchanged careful looks.

 

“And what do you think?” Claire asked.

 

“I don’t know,” he replied, echoing what he’d said to Ward. He rubbed his temple wearily. “Before I would have said no without hesitation, but after some of the things Ward said last night… I don’t know. I feel… confused about it.”

 

“Well, we can talk about it more, whenever you’re ready. This is going to be a long process, Danny. Trying to rush through it would be counterproductive,” Claire said.

 

“Besides, we have some important developments to update you on,” Luke said.

 

“What kind of developments?” Danny asked, his heart rate picking up. His alarm only grew as once again the three of them all exchanged careful looks. “What happened?” he pushed. Colleen sighed before answering, her voice grim.

 

“Davos paid a visit to the dojo yesterday afternoon and Matt and Jessica ran into Madam Gao while they were trying to track him down afterwards. Not only is she alive, she’s helping Davos.”

 

TBC

 


	13. Colleen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the kudos and the lovely comments on the last chapter! They really mean a lot to me! :)

“Davos paid a visit to the dojo yesterday afternoon and Matt and Jessica ran into Madam Gao while they were trying to track him down afterwards. Not only is she alive, she’s helping Davos.”

 

Danny stared at her in shock for a long moment. Colleen waited tensely, having no clue how he was likely to react to such news when he was already in such a fragile state.

 

“He… he _what?_ ” Danny finally exclaimed, jumping to his feet. “What did he do? Are you okay?”

 

“I’m fine!” she insisted. “He didn’t _do_ anything, really. Claire and Luke were already there, and Matt and Jessica showed up before he left, but it didn’t seem like he’d planned to try anything, anyway. He just… just _said_ some stuff, and then he left.”

 

“It’s like he was just trying to mess with our heads,” Luke said.

 

“He… he could have hurt you,” Danny said anxiously. “It would have been my fault.” His eyes focused on an empty point over by the window for a moment, but he quickly turned in the other direction, running his hands through his hair in agitation.

 

“He didn’t do anything,” she repeated firmly. “And I don’t have to remind you that I can take care of myself.” He turned back to her, looking apologetic.

 

“I know that. But I can’t help but worry. He… he was one of the strongest warriors in K’un Lun, and… I don’t know what he might do,” he said. He ran his hands over his face, taking a deep breath. It was clearly taking him a lot of effort to remain calm and her heart ached for him. “What… what did he say?”

 

“The details don’t matter,” Luke interjected. “He was just trash-talking, really.”

 

“He made some… insinuations,” Colleen said, almost against her will. Luke shot her a look, but she’d been wanting to talk to Danny about it ever since Davos’ appearance the day before. Jessica’s texted report to Claire about everything Gao had said had only deepened her fears. Her heart sank as the blood drained from Danny’s face, his eyes widening in something akin to panic. “Danny, what did-”

 

“Maybe it’s not the best time to discuss that,” Luke interrupted. “We can talk about it later.” Danny was nodding almost before Luke had finished speaking.

 

“Yes, later,” he agreed hastily. He rubbed his hands over his face again. “You… you said _Gao_ is alive and helping him? How is that possible?”

 

Colleen’s heart clenched in her chest. If she’d needed further confirmation that something _bad_ had happened between Danny and Davos, something more than just their last fight and Davos’ anger at him leaving K’un Lun, then Danny’s reaction to the topic and his obvious desire to avoid discussing it had been more than enough. Part of her wanted to keep pushing, but she could grudgingly see Luke’s point. Such a discussion would inevitably be… upsetting. Now was not the time. But she _needed_ to know, needed to know what had happened so that she’d know how to deal with it, how to _help_ him. And it was yet another thing that Danny shouldn’t be letting fester away inside him, anyway. She vowed that she was going to get him to talk about it, and soon.

 

“We have no idea,” Claire said tiredly. “That’s the Hand for you, I guess. Apparently they _never_ run out of surprises, even after you think you’re finally rid of them for good.”

 

“And Davos is… working with her?” Danny asked, his eyes wide.

 

“Gao made it clear that she knows he’s only using her right now, that he thinks he can kill her at any time. She thinks it’s amusing,” Luke said.

 

“Still, that he’d be willing to work with the Hand at all…,” Danny muttered. He twitched a little, glancing back over towards the spot by the window. Colleen’s heart clenched in her chest. It was happening again. He was seeing and probably hearing someone. She debated saying something, but decided against it unless things started to get out of control.

 

“He’s being arrogant, and arrogant people make mistakes,” Claire declared.

 

“How’s… how’s Matt?” Danny asked tentatively. “Did Gao say anything about…?”

 

“About Elektra? Apparently she refused to say anything about her either way, on the very true premise that we couldn’t trust anything she says anyway,” Claire sighed. “Jessica said he seemed to be doing okay, more or less. But it’s got to be terribly hard for him. She invited him to go drinking with her so that he wouldn’t be alone. Not exactly the best coping method, of course, but better than some of the alternatives.”

 

“That’s good,” Danny said, nodding approvingly. “He shouldn’t have been alone after a shock like that. Have you heard from them this morning? Are they doing okay?” Colleen couldn’t help but smile. Sometimes Danny could give Claire a run for her money in the mother hen department. There he was, actively suffering from hallucinations, but he was still concerned about other people.

 

“Yeah, I got a text from Matt a little while ago,” Claire said. “He ended up crashing on Jessica’s couch. He’s a little hungover, but awake and functioning. We should probably make plans to meet up with them later to discuss everything that’s going on, try to figure out our next steps.”

 

“Back at the dojo?” Colleen asked.

 

“Actually… maybe the two of you should stay here for awhile,” Luke suggested. “There’s a hell of a lot more security. Less chance of Davos just showing up again.” Colleen looked at Danny, her eyebrows raised questioningly. He shrugged.

 

“It might not be a bad idea, but I don’t want to make you leave your home,” he said earnestly. She smiled.

 

“It’s only temporary. I suppose even I can put up with a bit of luxury for a few days. We’ll still need to swing by and pick up a few things,” she said. She frowned thoughtfully. “Maybe I should cancel my classes for the next few days, too. There aren’t that many of them anyway.”

 

“You shouldn’t have to do that,” Danny said unhappily. “Teaching those classes is important to you.”

 

“Again, it’s only temporary,” Colleen said. “I’d rather do that than worry about any of the students crossing paths with Davos. And before you say it, no it is _NOT_ your fault.” He snapped his mouth shut, blushing. She grinned at him.

 

“Were you planning on going into Rand at all today, Danny?” Claire asked.

 

“Uh, no,” Danny said, pulling his attention away from Colleen. “Ward said I should take a few days to myself considering… everything.”

 

“Okay… so how about we make that trip to the dojo so you guys can pack a few things, and we can have Matt and Jessica meet us back here this afternoon?” she suggested.

 

“Okay,” Danny said, looking a little confused. Probably wondering why packing a couple of bags required four people, Colleen mused. But he didn’t question it. Colleen was glad. With Davos and Gao out there she figured it was better safe than sorry when it came to safety in numbers.

 

“Damn,” Danny said suddenly. “I just realized there’s pretty much no food or anything here, other than coffee.”

 

“Don’t worry about it,” Claire laughed. “I guess we should add a stop for some groceries to our to do list.”

 

“I guess I should tidy up the mess in the kitchen, too,” Danny said, blushing again. “Oh. And… and the bathroom.”

 

“The bathroom?” Colleen asked.

 

“The, uh, the mirror… it needs to be replaced,” Danny said sheepishly, avoiding her gaze. She squeezed his hand reassuringly.

 

“It’s okay, Danny, it’s just a mirror,” she said. He smiled uncertainly, clearly still ashamed.

 

“You know… if we’re going to be staying here for a few days anyway, maybe it’d be a good time to get the bathroom at the dojo remodeled?” he said tentatively. She raised her eyebrows but recognized the seemingly random suggestion for what it was - an attempt at a sense of normality.

 

“What, is rusty 50s chic not up to your standards?” she teased, playing along.

 

“You deserve nice things,” he said with a small smile that made her heart flutter.

 

“Well, it doesn’t really matter to me, and it’s up to you, anyway. You own the building,” she laughed.

 

“Well…,” he began, looking sheepish. Both her eyebrows shot up again.

 

“Well?” she prompted.

 

“Technically _you_ own the building,” he confessed. She stared at him uncomprehendingly.

 

“I own a building?” she said. “Since when?”

 

“Well, Hogarth said it was kind of creepy and stalkerish that I bought the building you lived in,” Danny said. “So I had her change it to being in your name. I mean… everything I have is yours, anyway.”

 

“Oh, Danny,” she said with a small laugh, throwing her arms around him as warmth flushed through her. All these months and his casual attitude about his wealth could still blow her away sometimes. She wondered how different it might have been if not for the crash, if he’d grown to adulthood surrounded by it. But of course _everything_ would have been different then. He would have been a completely different person.

 

Then again… maybe not. The trauma of the crash and the deaths of his parents, years of what amounted to gruelling abuse in K’un Lun whether he was ready to acknowledge it or not… and it hadn’t _crushed_ him. He was damaged, yes, so _very_ damaged, in ways that made her heart ache and bleed, but it hadn’t _warped_ him the way it so easily could have. It hadn’t turned him into someone heartless and cruel.

 

So maybe the money would have still meant nothing to him, beyond the good he could accomplish with it.

 

It finally registered that Claire and Luke were watching them with small, amused smiles. She stepped back, blushing a little.

 

“You know, people have to report property they own on their taxes,” Claire said with a laugh. “When were you planning on telling her?”

 

“Is that why you convinced me to let a Rand accountant do my taxes last spring?” Colleen asked.

 

“No, not the only reason!” Danny exclaimed. “I wasn’t trying to hide it from you or anything, but, well, I’ve kind of noticed that people don’t always react well to… to….”

 

“To big, grandiose gestures involving lots of money?” Luke suggested drily.

 

“Yeah,” Danny responded with a small, embarrassed smile. “I was going to tell you, Colleen, I was just waiting for the right time….”

 

“Well, I appreciate your big, grandiose gesture even if it wasn’t necessary,” she said, grinning. After the upheaval of the previous day and the fitful night she’d spent wondering if things between her and Danny would ever be the same again, it felt _so_ good to have a few carefree moments. She didn’t know what she would have done if she’d lost him. It didn’t even bear thinking about.

 

“I just got a text back from Matt,” Claire said, looking up from her phone. “He said he and Jessica will meet us back here at two. He has dinner plans with Foggy and Karen later tonight, though.”

 

“He does?!” Danny exclaimed, his face lighting up. “That’s _great!_ ” Claire chuckled at his enthusiasm.

 

“Yeah, it’s about time. Hopefully they can finally work their issues out and stop acting like asses,” she said. “Anyway, we’ll help you clean up here and then we’ll be on our way.”

 

Colleen helped Danny sweep up the shards of mirror in the bathroom while Luke and Claire dealt with the knives scattered on the kitchen floor. She was relieved to see that there were no drops of blood to be found. At least he hadn’t cut himself when he’d smashed the mirror. Danny’s face had turned somber again as they worked, and she knew he was feeling ashamed again.

 

“I really am sorry you have to deal with all this, Colleen,” he said sadly. “You deserve better.”

 

“Hey,” she said, setting the dustpan she’d just emptied into the garbage can aside so she could move to stand in front of him. “You deserve better than this, too, Danny,” she said. His lips twisted and he looked away. She reached up to cup his cheeks, gently but firmly turning his head back to face her. “You don’t _deserve_ any of what’s been happening. You’re not weak, or a bad person, or any of that other bullshit those dickhead hallucinations keep trying to shove down your throat. You’re one of the best people I know,” she said firmly. He stared down at her in wonderment, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

 

“I love you so much,” he said fervently, wrapping his arms around her in a fierce embrace. “I’d _die_ without you.”

 

“I’d die without you, too,” she said, clutching him back. She meant every word. She knew it wasn’t exactly healthy or normal, but then neither one of them had exactly led a healthy or normal life. When he’d walked out of the dojo the night before, angry and upset and hurting, it had felt like he’d taken all the oxygen in the room with him. She hadn’t been able to breathe properly until he’d thrown open the penthouse door with that desperate look on his face and pulled her into his arms. The dojo may be where she lived, and she loved it there, but _Danny_ was her home _._

 

“You can’t leave like that again,” she said desperately, tears springing to her own eyes. “I couldn’t take it. _Don’t ever leave again._ ”

 

“I won’t,” he said, his voice choked with emotion. “I won’t, I promise.”

 

She wasn’t sure how long they stood there holding each other before there was a knock at the door.

 

“Are you guys okay in there?” Luke called out carefully.

 

“We’re fine,” Colleen called back as they finally stepped away from each other, both of them wiping dampness from their cheeks again. She couldn’t resist leaning up to give him a kiss before they left the bathroom together. He gave her one of his sunshine smiles, looking both pleased and embarrassed. It was a little ragged around the edges, and he still looked pale and ill and exhausted, but it warmed her heart and made her believe they could beat anything, as long as they were together.

 

~~~

 

Danny had insisted they use one of the Rand cars and drivers rather than have them all pile into a cab. Colleen was not surprised in the least when Danny recognized the driver that was sent, greeting her by name and asking after her family.

 

“He’s really popular with his employees, isn’t he?” Claire asked her softly as Danny chatted away with the woman as if he didn’t have a care in the world.

 

“They love him,” Colleen confirmed with a smile. “The best part is that he doesn’t even really realize it. He’s not making any special effort to be friendly with them. He just really doesn’t see any difference between a driver, an assistant, or an executive board member, and he’s friendly with _everybody_.”

 

After they arrived at the dojo, Danny paused inside the doorway, a strange look on his face. Colleen looked at him questioningly.

 

“I know it’s been less than a day, but somehow it feels like it’s been forever since I’ve been here,” he said.

 

“Well, a lot has happened,” she agreed. “It felt like a long time to me, too.” Which was putting it mildly. Those hours without him had felt like a lifetime.

 

They made quick work of packing some essentials into a couple of overnight bags while Claire and Luke gathered all the perishables from the kitchen, since they weren’t sure exactly how long they’d be gone. Colleen couldn’t help but feel relieved when they were ready to leave and there hadn’t been another surprise appearance by Davos. It wasn’t that she was afraid of him. Hell, with her suspicions she was pretty sure she’d enjoy beating his face in, but she didn’t know how Danny would react to seeing him, and she didn’t want to find out. She knew he’d likely have to face him eventually, but his state of mind was far too tenuous at the moment.

 

Danny asked the driver to stop at a grocery store on the way back to Midtown and between what they picked up there and what they brought from the dojo, they managed to get the penthouse kitchen respectably well stocked. Claire then insisted they order in sandwiches for a quick late lunch because she was starving and nobody felt like making food. Colleen was pretty hungry, too, having barely picked at her breakfast that morning, and it was then that she realized that Danny had still not eaten anything at all that day.

 

“Aren’t _you_ hungry?” she asked him. He just shrugged in response and she frowned. As fairly innocuous as it was compared to other things that had been going on, his lack of eating the past couple of days was still rather worrying. He usually had a pretty healthy appetite, needing the calories as fuel for his chi. If the trend continued, it wouldn’t just weaken him physically, it would likely weaken his spiritual energy as well. He ate his sandwich enthusiastically enough after it arrived but she made a mental note to make sure he was eating enough, even if she had to badger him into it.

 

It was not long after they’d finished eating that Matt and Jessica arrived. Danny had been able to relax back almost to a state of normalcy after several hours in Colleen, Claire, and Luke’s presence, but the arrival of two new faces clearly brought Danny’s embarrassment and shame rushing back to the surface.

 

“It’s going to be fine,” Colleen assured him softly as Luke let the new arrivals in and they conferred quietly in the foyer for a moment before moving into the living room. He gave her a tight smile and a quick nod, but she could see the anxiety on his face.

 

“Hey, Danny,” Matt said casually. “I’m really glad you’re still here with us. The team wouldn’t be the same without you. Anything you need, just ask.”

 

“T-thank you,” Danny stuttered, blinking in confusion a few times. Clearly the idea that _they_ would be upset if _he_ didn’t want to work with _them_ had never occurred to him. “And I’m really glad you’re patching things up with Foggy and Karen! I know you’ve really missed them,” he added earnestly.

 

“Thanks, man,” Matt said with a warm smile.

 

“Sorry about all the times I called you crazy,” Jessica said flatly. “I wouldn’t have if I’d known you really _were_ crazy. Well, probably not, anyway. I’ll try to refrain in the future.”

 

Colleen resisted the urge to slap her hand over her face in dismay. Claire apparently had no such compunction because she went ahead and did so. Matt sighed heavily and Luke turned his eyes heavenward as if pleading for divine assistance.

 

For his part, Danny could only stare at her for a moment, his face red and his mouth hanging open, before he managed to reply.

 

“Um… thanks, I… I guess,” he said, shifting uncomfortably.

 

“It’s called _tact,_ Jessica. Maybe you should try it sometime,” Luke lamented.

 

“Tact is against my religion,” Jessica said. “He’s an equal member of this team and doesn’t need to be babied. What he needs is to be treated normally, right? How is me being nice and tactful normal?”

 

“Can’t argue with that,” Matt huffed out, sounding almost amused. To Colleen’s surprise, Danny actually relaxed a little bit beside her, though there was still some lingering tenseness.

 

“Thanks, Jessica,” he said with a small, sincere smile. Jessica gave a single, emphatic nod, as if he had proved her point.

 

They all settled onto the living room couches, everyone declining Danny’s offer of drinks except for Jessica. He poured her a glass of the scotch leftover from Ward’s visit.

 

“So, how are you feeling, Danny?” Matt asked.

 

“Pretty okay, for right now at least,” Danny said, clearly uncomfortable with both the topic and with being the center of attention.

 

“You don’t need to be embarrassed, we all have our issues. Nobody here thinks any less of you because of it,” Matt said.

 

“Thanks, I appreciate that,” Danny said. Colleen could feel him relax a little bit more, which didn’t surprise her. She knew Matt’s opinion of him was especially important to Danny. Even though he admired and respected all of them, he had quite the superhero crush on Daredevil.

 

“I think it’s important for all of us to feel free to discuss things openly with each other, without judgement,” Claire said. “It’ll help us both as individuals and as a team.”

 

“Superhero group therapy,” Jessica said with a smirk, nudging Matt with her elbow. He smiled, shaking his head a little at her.

 

“If you want to call it that, go right ahead. Therapy, issues, hallucinations… none of it should have any stigma,” Claire said. “Sitting in this room right now are not just people with some pretty amazing abilities, there are people who have gone through some _seriously traumatizing shit,_ and have come out the other side. All of us are _survivors,_ and that’s something to be proud of even if most of us are a little worse for wear from the experience.”

 

“That’s a pretty good way to look at it,” Matt said with a smile.

 

“So, in the spirit of that openness…,” Claire glanced at Danny, who seemed to sense the permission she was looking for. He grimaced a little but nodded. “For the time being we’re going to have a buddy system of sorts for Danny. At least one of us should be with him all the time.”

 

“I… assume it’s not just because of Davos?” Matt asked, his expression turning somber. Claire looked to Danny again, clearly checking to see if he felt up to explaining what had happened himself. Danny gave another little nod, sitting up straighter as he prepared himself. Colleen gripped his hand, giving him a reassuring smile.

 

“I was… really upset after what happened yesterday,” Danny began, speaking determinedly even as he couldn’t quite meet anyone’s eyes. “It was… bad. I… had some thoughts about… about hurting myself. Last night, and again this morning.” He paused, taking a deep, unsteady breath. Colleen knew that for all that he’d already gone over this once before, it still had to be incredibly difficult for him, and her heart ached. “It was particularly bad this morning because my h-hallucinations were… encouraging me to do it. It scared me.” Silence reigned for a moment before Matt shifted forward in his seat, giving Danny his full attention.

 

“That can’t have been easy to say, Danny. It was very brave,” Matt said seriously. “And, well, there may not have been hallucinations involved, but I’ve been there, too. With the thoughts about hurting myself.”

 

“You… you have?” Danny asked, his eyes wide.

 

“I have,” Matt said with a nod. “I told Jessica a bit about it yesterday, and I actually plan on talking about it with Foggy and Karen tonight. When we were at Midland Circle and the bomb was about to go off… there was a part of me, a _big_ part of me, that wanted to stay down there and die with Elektra. I told myself that dying for love like that wouldn’t be the same as suicide, but I knew what I was doing. I knew I didn’t want to live without her. Jessica saved my life by knocking me out and dragging me out of there.”

 

“Jesus, Matt,” Claire said. Colleen couldn’t help but agree.

 

“I… I never would have thought…,” Danny said slowly, clearly having difficulty processing the revelation.

 

“Never would have thought someone you liked and admired could feel suicidal?” Matt asked, smiling ruefully. Danny blushed a little but nodded. “It can happen to anyone, Danny. Absolutely _anyone_. And… and that wasn’t the first time I felt like that, either, though it was the only time outside intervention was actually needed to save me.” He sat up straighter again, sighing. “I’ve struggled with depression on and off for most of my life. It’s something that will probably always be a part of me. And yeah, there are times when it makes me feel ashamed and embarrassed. Like, if I was just _stronger_ somehow, it wouldn’t happen. But mental illness doesn’t work that way. I try to remember that, though it’s not always easy.”

 

“Well, anytime you start to forget, we’re here to remind you,” Luke said. Matt smiled.

 

“We can all remind each other,” he said.

 

“T-thank you, Matt,” Danny said sincerely. “It… it helps, knowing you understand, though I’m sorry you went through that.”

 

“Well, I’m going to make a decree right now that if _anyone_ on the team is ever feeling unsafe and like they might hurt themselves, to contact someone else on the team right away,” Claire said adamantly. “Can we make a promise to each other right now that we’ll do that, and that if we’re the one getting that call, we’ll drop everything right away to go help them?”

 

“It’s a great idea, Claire. I promise,” Matt said.

 

“Me, too. I promise,” Danny said.

 

“Count me in,” Colleen said.

 

“Absolutely,” Luke said. They all looked at Jessica, who rolled her eyes.

 

“Yes, of course I’m in. I guess there’s no going back on this team thing now,” she said. “I promise I’ll call one of you if I need help, and if someone calls me I’ll treat it like a 911 emergency. There, we just made our first superhero team pact. Now, I hate to be a party pooper, but maybe we should discuss where we stand with this situation with Davos and the Hand before I feel any more ridiculous.”

 

“I’m not even really sure where to start with that mess,” Claire said. “We know Davos is back in New York, and we managed to find out where he’s staying and who’s funding him. We also know the Hand is back, and that obviously means nothing good.”

 

Colleen felt Danny tense up again beside her, and when she looked at him he was once again focusing on an empty space over by the window. She took his hand in hers, giving it a reassuring squeeze. He jumped a little in surprise but smiled when he looked at her, seeming to make a deliberate effort not to look back at the same spot.

 

“I haven’t heard anything on the street to suggest Gao’s heroin business is back in operation,” Matt said.

 

“Maybe it’s too early to say that the Hand is back, really, if it’s just Gao. With so much of the leadership wiped out it certainly can’t be as powerful or as far reaching an organization as it was before, in any case,” Luke said.

 

“There was that other leader down there with Gao, right? The Japanese man?” Colleen asked.

 

“Murakami, I think his name was,” Claire confirmed. “Him and… and…,” Heavy silence descended for a moment.

 

“And Elektra,” Matt said with a tense smile. “It’s okay, guys, I’m not going to shatter if I hear her name.”

 

“Tell that to your cane before you snap it in half,” Jessica said. Matt immediately loosened the white-knuckled grip he had on his folded-up cane, looking sheepish.

 

“I didn’t say it wasn’t going to be difficult,” he amended. He heaved a heavy sigh. “Honestly, I’m not even sure what I’m feeling right now. Maybe I’m still in shock. I’ve already mourned her twice… I’m not sure I could handle a third time. And… we can’t just assume either she or Murakami are alive because Gao is. We have no idea how Gao managed that, and she might have been the only one. We just don’t know, so... I don’t know how to feel.”

 

“Well, whatever happens, you won’t be handling it alone, man,” Luke said.

 

“Thanks, I appreciate that a lot,” Matt replied with a warm smile.

 

“So how _is_ Gao alive? Did she manage to get some of that substance or whatever out of the cave before it collapsed? But even if she did, how did _she_ get out?” Claire asked.

 

“Actually… Harold didn’t need anything to come back to life after Ward stabbed him,” Danny said thoughtfully. “Both Bakuto and the Triads said once the treatment was given the person would keep coming back unless the head was destroyed. The Triads also said they’d be ‘worse’ every time, which seemed to be true in Harold’s case, at least.”

 

“Then why were they so anxious to get more of this substance? Why was dying suddenly such a big concern to them?” Claire asked with a frown.

 

“Why does it matter? Nothing about these damn mystical ninjas has ever made sense,” Jessica groused, taking a sip from her glass.

 

“Jessica’s right,” Matt sighed. “I don’t think we need to worry so much about the ‘how’. I’m more concerned right now about the ‘why’. Why would Gao agree to help Davos, a sworn enemy of the Hand and someone she knows plans to kill her someday? She said she was doing it just to amuse herself, but I find that hard to believe.”

 

“Speaking of which,” Jessica said, shifting forward in her seat and settling an intense gaze on Danny. Colleen’s stomach twisted, suspecting what she intended to bring up. Judging by the alarmed, tensed postures of the others around her, the others suspected as well. She felt Danny tense, too, no doubt confused by the sudden shift in the atmosphere of the room.

 

“Jessica-” Matt began, a warning tone to his voice, but she cut him off.

 

“Gao said some very suggestive things about Davos and what could be motivating him. She made it sound like it was some kind of possessive jealousy thing. And with what he himself implied at the dojo yesterday, I have to ask, Danny. Was he really just your friend, or is there more to it?” Jessica asked bluntly.

 

TBC

  



	14. Danny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the lovely comments on the last chapter! I am seriously overwhelmed. You guys are amazing. :)
> 
> I am super nervous about this chapter. I could probably keep trying to fine tune it forever, but here it goes. ^^;;;

“Gao said some very suggestive things about Davos and what could be motivating him. She made it sound like it was some kind of possessive jealousy thing. And with what he himself implied at the dojo yesterday, I have to ask, Danny. Was he really just your friend, or is there more to it?” Jessica asked bluntly.

 

A wave of coldness washed through Danny’s blood, making his skin prickle and leaving him feeling strangely light-headed. Davos was suddenly standing behind where Jessica and Matt were sitting, the same wide, leering grin on his face that had always twisted Danny’s stomach.

 

 _"Yes, Danny,"_ Davos laughed. " _T_ _ell them just how much ‘more’ there was to it."_

 

“I… I don’t know what you mean,” he said woodenly.

 

“Well, the look on your face and your suddenly ashy complexion tell me you know _exactly_ what I mean,” Jessica replied. He couldn’t quite place the tone in her voice or the expression on her face. Anger? Was she angry with him? But… she looked sad, somehow, too. She looked angry and sad and upset, all at the same time.

 

 _"She knows,"_ Davos said. " _She knows what you did, what you let me do. What you_ **_made_ ** _me do."_

 

“I didn’t,” Danny whispered, his throat tightening. It was getting harder to breathe by the second.

 

“Danny? Danny, are you okay?” Colleen asked in alarm, reaching for him. But he needed air, he needed _space._ He waved her off, rising to his feet and stumbling into the kitchen area. He leaned on the island counter, his head hanging down, and tried to concentrate on taking deep, centering breaths. He was vaguely aware of Colleen having followed him, though she hovered a few feet away, respecting his obvious need for some distance. He was also aware of voices raised in anger, though it was a few moments before any words started to register through the rushing blood in his head.

 

“-ere you _thinking_ , Jessica?” Luke growled.

 

“I’m _thinking_ we need to know exactly what we’re dealing with!” Jessica said. “Knowing Davos’ motivation _and_ knowing what the bastard is fucking capable of are both very important pieces of information.”

 

“That may be true but this was not the way to bring it up!” Claire yelled. “You’d think if anyone should realize that it’s you.”

 

“Oh, so I’m the spokesperson for all sexual assault victims now?” Jessica snapped, clearly furious. “Because we’re all exactly the same, right?”

 

“No, of course not,” Claire responded, abashed. “You’re right, that wasn’t fair to say. I’m sorry. But my point stands that we should have figured out a better way instead of just… ambushing him.”

 

“Hey, maybe we should all just try to calm down,” Matt interjected.

 

“I _am_ calm,” Jessica snapped.

 

Danny’d heard enough. He pushed off from the counter and made his way unsteadily to the sink, fumbling with shaking hands to fill a glass with water. Colleen continued to anxiously hover nearby. Paradoxically he was both comforted by her presence and also grateful that she was keeping some distance between them.

 

He wasn’t sure how he’d react to someone trying to touch him just then.

 

The blood was still rushing in his ears and his heart was pounding in his chest. His body felt both numb with cold and suffused with warmth at the same time. It was all starting to feel strangely distant and surreal. The trembling hand holding the glass of water he was taking slow, careful sips from may as well have been a stranger’s.

 

Through all the static crackling in his brain one thing had become crystal clear to him as the others had argued.

 

They… they already _knew_. Or at least, they _suspected_ that they knew something.

 

But… they had the wrong idea. It hadn’t been like what they seemed to be thinking. It _hadn’t._

 

 _"They think I was the big bad wolf,"_ Davos sneered. " _They think you were my helpless victim. Are you going to tell them the truth? That you_ **_wanted_ ** _it? That you moaned and begged like a whore when I touched you? That_ **_you_ ** _were the one who corrupted_ **_me_** _?"_

 

“That wasn’t how it happened,” Danny whispered desperately. That… that wasn’t right either. He… he hadn’t _meant_ to. Davos laughed mockingly.

 

“What was that, Danny?” Colleen asked gently. She’d moved a bit closer, poised like she wanted nothing more in the world than to reach out to him. He realized that the others had fallen silent in the living room, all of their attention focused on them. He clutched the glass harder, still feeling strangely detached from his body.

 

“That wasn’t how it happened,” Danny repeated, a little louder. His voice didn’t even sound like his own. “Davos. He… he didn’t… _assault_ me or whatever you’re thinking.” He was dimly aware of the others shifting around and giving each other significant looks.

 

“Okay,” Colleen said reasonably. “If… if you’re feeling up to it, maybe you could explain it to us?”

 

A thread of hysteria flitterred across his mind but thankfully did not take root. Feeling up to it? That was rich. But if they were already thinking the worst, then he probably _did_ need to explain… something. So many wounds ripped open the past couple of days, so much of his shame and agony exposed for everyone to see… and now _this_ , too. Would there ever be an end to it?

 

He’d never wanted Colleen to find out. He’d never wanted _anyone_ to find out.

 

What had Davos said to them to make them suspicious? What did _Gao_ know, to have apparently made insinuations of her own? Or maybe they’d just been able to _tell_ , somehow? The thought made his skin crawl.

 

He had to tell them something. Dread settled over him like a heavy blanket.

 

After he set the empty glass down in the sink Colleen gestured towards the living room and he followed her back without argument, feeling like he was trapped in some kind of surreal nightmare. They all once again settled onto the couches.

 

 _"Go on, tell them all about it,"_ Davos sneered.

 

 _"Tell them what poison they have allowed in their midst,"_ Lei Kung said.

 

“It’s true what I told you before,” Danny began, his hands clenched in his lap to keep them from trembling. “No distractions from training were permitted, so there was no… dating or anything like that permitted with the girls from the village. But... Davos told me that sometimes the older students, well, helped each other out. That though technically that was forbidden, too, everybody did it.” He paused, not sure how to continue. He avoided even _thinking_ about it. He wasn’t sure he could find the right words to _explain_ it.

 

“So… what happened?” Colleen prompted carefully after his silence had stretched on.

 

“We were drinking wine up in the tower one night,” Danny said eventually, staring into the distance. Into the past. “Davos had just turned sixteen. And one thing led to another in our conversation until he was… he was talking about it. About the students helping each other out. And… he said I should do it for him. For his birthday.”

 

He was aware of the others shifting around him again, of the heavy, tense atmosphere in the room. Davos and Lei Kung were both staring at him, Davos with a leering grin, Lei Kung with disgust and anger. He swallowed past the lump in his throat. He didn’t think he’d ever felt more mortified, more _exposed_ in his entire life.

 

“I… I thought he was just joking around at first, but then he pulled himself out of his robes. He… he was stroking himself and saying how much better it would be if I used my hand on him instead,” Danny said, his face flaming and heat flushing through his whole body even as he still felt strangely numb. It was disorienting. “I… I didn’t really want to. I’d… I’d barely touched _myself_ like that, let alone anyone else.”

 

“How old were you?” Matt asked quietly.

 

“Thirteen. Almost fourteen,” Danny replied. He heard a few muttered curses amongst the others and tried not to flinch. He noticed Colleen make an abortive movement like she wanted to take his hand but was not sure how he’d react. He couldn’t blame her. He wasn’t sure how he’d react, either.

 

 _"You were always such a whiny brat about this,"_ Davos sneered.

 

“What happened then?” Claire prompted. Danny stared at his hands for a moment, trying to summon the will to continue.

 

“He… he started to get mad, so I… I did it. I touched him like he wanted me to. And then when he was done, he… he wanted to touch me the same way, and I didn’t want him to get mad again, so I let him. And it was just… a thing we did sometimes after that. When he wanted to.” He couldn’t look at any of them.

 

Silence reigned for a few tense moments.

 

“Danny,” Claire began, clearly measuring her words carefully. “You said Davos didn’t assault you, but-”

 

“He didn’t do anything wrong,” Danny said insistently. “I _let_ him. I was the one who… who got upset over nothing. I shouldn’t have made him mad.” He unclenched and clenched his fists spasmodically, feeling something start to bubble up inside him. He tried to force it back down. “He said everyone did it, that it was normal. I… I was being a whiny brat.” Davos’ favourite words to mock him with whenever he’d shown reluctance. “Besides, when… when….” His voice trailed off, Lei Kung’s glowering scowl seeming to bore right into his soul.

 

“When?” Colleen prompted.

 

“When Lei Kung caught us once, a couple of years later, I was the one he punished, not Davos,” Danny said.

 

“Punished? You mean you were beaten?” Claire asked with a scowl. Danny nodded. “Because... it was forbidden?” He nodded again. “Then why just you and not Davos, too?”

 

“He… he said I tempted Davos into doing it,” Danny said miserably. “That I… corrupted him, somehow. So it wasn’t his fault, it was _mine!_ And… and it’s not like he ever _made_ me do it or anything. I told you it wasn’t like that!”

 

“That’s _bullshit!_ ” Jessica said, rising to her feet. “Force isn’t always physical. What you described was coercive manipulation at the very fucking least, Danny. You plainly said yourself that you didn’t want to do it. That the only reason you did was because he was getting angry. And don’t even get me started on this insanity of _you_ corrupting _him_. He was an abusive bastard and that’s on _him,_ not you.”

 

“But he _did_ start to change after that!” Danny protested. “I’d been there for years by then and some of the other students had started to be less… less hostile. Some even started being a little friendly. But Davos… he would get jealous. He didn’t want me to have any other friends. I… I think he even threatened some of them, telling them to stay away. I mean, he could be a _little_ bit like that before, but after it just kept getting worse, and he kept wanting to… to do more. He wasn’t like that with anyone else. Lei Kung said it was _my fault,_ that it had to have been me who made him act like that.”

 

“A controlling, coercive, manipulative asshole gaslighting you into thinking abuse is your fault? A possessive and jealous abuser isolating you from other people? Sounds about right,” Jessica snarled. She stalked over to the bar to pour herself another glass of scotch.

 

“It wasn’t like that,” Danny said helplessly. He… he must have explained it wrong or something. They just didn’t _get_ it. Lei Kung had been so adamant that Davos would never have done anything like that if not for Danny’s influence. And though Davos had been kind of… kind of _rough_ sometimes, he had never _hurt_ him or _forced_ him, not… not _really._

 

 _Then why have you always hated thinking about it? Why didn’t you want Colleen or anyone to_ **_know_** _?_ a traitorous voice whispered in the back of his mind.

 

_Because I didn’t want them to know how disgusting I was, that I made someone act like that._

 

Suddenly he needed space again. He rose to his feet and went to the window to stare out at the city, his arms wrapped tightly around himself. His skin was tingling and his chest was aching and his head was pounding and he wasn’t sure how much more he could take. He felt like he was about to fly apart.

 

“Danny,” Colleen said sadly. She’d trailed after him again, as if there was a tether between them preventing more than a finite amount of distance. “I… I know you don’t want to think it’s possible, but like Jessica pointed out, in your own words, you didn’t want to do it. And if he had to get angry and pressure you to make it happen, then he _knew_ you didn’t want to do it, but he still did it anyway. Even if you don’t want to go as far as calling it a… assault, it was still _wrong_. And he’s the only one to blame for that.”

 

Danny shook his head helplessly. Her words kind of made sense, but….

 

“He was older than you, and your only friend. You would have done anything to keep him happy, and he knew it,” Matt said gently. “And there’s absolutely _nothing_ that you could have done to ‘make’ him do anything to you. If you look at it logically you’ll realize that, Danny.”

 

“I… I don’t know what to think,” Danny said miserably. Was it really possible? Could… could Davos really have known exactly what he was doing? His heart _ached_ at the prospect.

 

“Okay, well, I have a scenario for you to consider,” Luke said. “And I kind of hate to go there, but… what if it was Colleen? What if Colleen told you the same story about an older friend she trained with at the Hand compound? That they initiated sexual activity with her that she didn’t want, but she went along with it so that they wouldn’t get angry? Or what if it was Matt, saying the same thing about an older kid at the orphanage? And then they go on to say it became a regular thing, and this friend grew more and more possessive and controlling. It sounds _bad,_ right?”

 

“Of course,” Danny said, aghast. The thought alone sent icy shards through his gut. “But-”

 

“And,” Luke interrupted. “Do you honestly think there was anything they could have done to _make_ their friend act like that towards them? That it could have in any way been _their_ fault?”

 

“No, of course not,” Danny said adamantly, horrified at the very idea.

 

“Then why is it different when it’s you?” Luke asked gently.

 

He’d… he’d never thought of it like that before.

 

 _Was_ it different?

 

Danny leaned forward to press his forehead against the cool glass of the window. Their explanations sounded so _reasonable_. And they were so much more… worldly than he was. Could… could they really be right? It had been horrible, thinking he’d somehow corrupted Davos as Lei Kung insisted, thinking that everything Davos had done had somehow been his own fault.

 

Thinking he’d been weak and disgusting to have _let_ it all happen, for not having done something to prevent it somehow.

 

But thinking that Davos had knowingly and deliberately manipulated and… and _abused_ him was so much worse.

 

The world was tilting on its axis yet again.

 

 _"You know you deserved it,"_ Davos hissed. _"And don’t pretend you never enjoyed it, either."_

 

A sob had escaped him before he even realized what was happening. Colleen closed the scant distance between them and wrapped her arms around him. He was both surprised and grateful that her touch brought only comfort with it, and he clutched her back desperately. But the floodgates had been opened and there was no stopping it. _Days_ of tension and emotional turmoil came pouring out. He was vaguely aware of Colleen guiding them down to sit on the floor as he continued to sob helplessly into her shoulder.

 

Time seemed to lose meaning. Eventually the tears slowed and then finally stopped, leaving him feeling completely drained. He didn’t move, Colleen’s comforting presence and the hand running soothingly up and down his back his only tethers to reality. He just let himself… drift. After awhile he slowly became aware of the soft murmur of voices around them. At one point someone handed him a tissue and he wiped his face. Not long after that two cups of tea were placed on the carpet next to them. Feeling suddenly parched, Danny finally leaned back from Colleen so that he could pick one up and sip it. Colleen did the same with hers.

 

“I guess that was a long time coming, wasn’t it?” she asked gently.

 

“Y-yeah, I guess,” Danny said, wiping his face again. “It’s… been a hell of a couple of days.” He felt raw and stripped open and exhausted right down to his bones. “You… you really think he… he manipulated me?”

 

“Yes, I do,” she said firmly. He chewed his bottom lip for a moment, staring down into the depths of his tea.

 

“I… I didn’t want to do it,” he said slowly, without looking up. “I never felt that way about him. I loved him like a brother, not like… like _that._ But… sometimes it… it felt good. Doesn’t that mean that I liked it, that I wanted it?”

 

“No, Danny, it doesn’t,” she said. “Someone who’s taking advantage of you can sometimes make your body feel good if they try to but it’s just a physical response. It doesn’t mean you actually wanted it.”

 

“I still don’t really know what to think,” Danny said, rubbing tiredly at his eyes. His mind was a sluggish jumble of confused thoughts. “Everything… kind of feels like it means something different now. Things he used to say, things he used to do. When he would get jealous and stuff… it was just the way he _was._ It was _normal._ Even… even before the other stuff started he was kind of like that. Just… really intense about everything, you know?”

 

“I’m so sorry, Danny, I know this is a lot to deal with, especially on top of everything else,” Colleen said sadly.

 

“There was this time when he broke my nose,” Danny said slowly, remembering. “We were watching a tournament for the recent graduates, and one of the top warriors… well, I… I really admired him.” He blushed, fiddling with the mug of tea. “I guess I was… watching him really closely. Maybe something showed in my expression, I don’t know. But Davos suddenly elbowed me in the face. He said it was an accident, but it obviously wasn’t, and I could see that he was angry. I… never really made the connection before, that maybe he was angry because I’d been looking at someone else. At least not consciously. He just… did stuff like that sometimes, so I… shrugged it off.”

 

“Just… got violent seemingly out of nowhere?” Claire asked, frowning. Danny started a little, having almost forgotten that he and Colleen weren’t alone.

 

“Yeah,” Danny replied. “It… it was just the way he _was._ ” He swallowed the lump in his throat, a myriad of similar instances over the years rushing forwards in his memory. “I… I guess I really let him treat me like crap, didn’t I?” he asked, ashamed.

 

“Danny, he was an abusive, manipulative asshole. It’s not your fault,” Colleen said.

 

 _"Don’t listen to them,"_ Davos sneered. " _You know who’s really to blame."_

 

Danny grit his teeth, doing his best to ignore him. There was a big part of him that still railed against what the others were telling him. It went against what had been the truth of his world for so long. But another part of him could see the logic in what they were saying.

 

And it changed everything.

 

“Why… why did I never realize before? You must all think I’m such an _idiot,_ ” he said, rubbing his eyes again.

 

“You’re not an idiot, Danny,” Colleen said. “You were young and you were vulnerable, and he took advantage. Long before anything sexual happened, he was taking advantage of you, using you to make himself feel more powerful. He said as much when he was at the dojo yesterday.” A fresh spike of hurt stabbed through Danny’s chest at that revelation.

 

“Was… was he _ever_ really my friend?” he asked, hating the plaintive tone in his voice.

 

“I… I don’t know, Danny,” she replied. But he could see it all over her face.

 

She didn’t think Davos had ever really cared about him.

 

“Yes, you do,” he said, his heart sinking. He hadn’t thought he could feel even worse. He’d been wrong.

 

 _It’s not true, it’s not true, it’s not_ **_true_** _,_ a voice whispered frantically in the back of his mind

 

“Yeah, I think we all do. Danny, this guy is a scumbag who’s been using you from day one and he’s not worth feeling bad over,” Jessica said.

 

“Jessica-” Luke began tiredly.

 

“Look, I’m sorry, okay?” Jessica said. “I shouldn’t have handled it like this. I guess I kind of get tunnel vision sometimes when it comes to this particular topic. I… I _needed_ to know for sure if that bastard was this particular flavour of scumbag and everything else just kind of fell by the wayside.” She locked gazes with Danny. “I really am sorry, Danny.”

 

“It’s… it’s okay,” he said automatically, a little stunned by the genuine contrition on her face.

 

“But… you’re better off knowing the truth, aren’t you?” she asked, not unkindly.

 

“I guess,” he said. “It doesn’t feel very good, though,” he added with a small grimace.

 

“The truth rarely does,” Jessica said wryly, downing the scotch in her glass.

 

“All of this… it’s… it’s why Davos is here, it’s why he’s doing this, isn’t it?” Danny asked, realization dawning.

 

“Madam Gao certainly seemed to think so,” Matt said. “And… it makes sense. People who are obsessive and controlling don’t generally let the objects of their obsession go easily.”

 

“I don’t know what to do,” Danny said dully. “He’s… he’s like my _brother_. I… I can’t… I mean, it’s _possible_ that it wasn’t always like that, right? That… that part of him really does… really does care… right?”

 

“Danny…,” Colleen said, her voice heavy with dismay.

 

“If… if I could just talk to him, maybe. Give him a chance to explain. He… he might not have _meant_ to…,” Danny said, desperation creeping into his voice. The others were exchanging concerned looks. He paused, taking a deep breath. “I’m… I’m being an idiot again… aren’t I?”

 

“You’re not an idiot, Danny,” Matt said. “And no one expects your feelings for Davos to change overnight. I’m sorry to say this, but they’ll probably always be… complicated.”

 

“What… what do I do now?” Danny asked.

 

“I feel like it’s been said a lot lately but take some time to process,” Claire said. “I mean, think about it… it hasn’t even been a full forty-eight hours since Joy showed up at the dojo and dropped the bombshell that got this whole thing started. It’s been a hell of an emotional rollercoaster since then.”

 

“Maybe a nap would be a good idea,” Luke suggested. “No offence, man, but you look like you’re ready to keel over.”

 

Drifting off into oblivion for awhile sounded like an _excellent_ suggestion. His earlier meltdown had depleted the last of his scant reserves, bone-weary exhaustion tugging insistently at the corners of his mind. But….

 

He looked at Colleen.

 

“I could definitely go for a nap,” she said, reaching out a hand towards him. He clasped it gratefully and they rose to their feet together.

 

“Yeah, it seems like a good idea,” he said with a sigh. He wasn’t sure he’d ever felt more tired in his life. Not even during sleep-deprivation training at the monastery. He quickly glanced around at the others, still feeling too mortified to really meet anyone’s gaze. “But it feels kind of rude as the hosts and all….”

 

“I should be going, anyway. I have dinner with Foggy and Karen soon,” Matt said, rising to his feet.

 

“And don’t worry about us,” Claire said. “Maybe Luke and I will see about getting a nice homemade dinner ready for when you guys wake up. Do you want to stay and help, Jessica?”

 

“Naw, I should get going. I think I’ve caused enough trouble for one day,” she replied.

 

“You’re welcome to join me, if you want,” Matt suggested casually. She eyed him, not fooled for a second.

 

“And intrude on your big reconciliation dinner? I don’t think so,” she said. She continued to eye him for a moment, as if carefully considering her words. “I do appreciate the thought, Murdock, but I’m okay. I don’t need a babysitter. Besides, Malcolm will be just down the hall, Trish and all the rest of you are on speed dial, and I remember our superhero group therapy pledge. I’ll call somebody if I need to. We can still share a cab back to Hell’s Kitchen, though.”

 

“Sounds good,” Matt said with a small smile.

 

“T-thank you both for being here,” Danny said, feeling awkward. “And for everything you’ve been doing to help. It… it really means a lot to me.”

 

“Any time, Danny,” Matt said. “And be patient with yourself. This is a _lot._ It’s going to take time.”

 

“Take care of yourself, man,” Jessica said with a nod, uncharacteristically solemn.

 

After they were gone, Danny and Colleen retreated to the bedroom. They settled themselves on top of the covers, with Colleen snuggled up to Danny’s side, her head resting on his chest. As drained as he felt, he found that his mind kept running in confused circles, refusing to quiet. One question in particular kept forcing itself to the surface.

 

“Do… do you… feel differently about me now?” he asked, his stomach twisting with dread. Colleen jerked with surprise, raising her head up to look into his eyes.

 

“No, of course I don’t,” she said adamantly. Relief washed through him in a palpable wave. “Nothing could ever change the way I feel about you, Danny. _Nothing._ ”

 

“What’s… what’s going to happen now?” he asked.

 

“I don’t know,” she said. “But whatever it is, we’ll figure it out together. Not just us, but the others, too.” He nodded, drawing strength from the conviction in her voice.

 

“I’d be completely lost without you,” he said softly, reaching up to tuck a loose tendril of her hair behind her ear.

 

“And I’d be lost without you,” she said, leaning down to press her lips to his. He deepened the kiss, feeling his heart swell with how much he loved her. Then she settled back down against him and they soon drifted off into the deep slumber of the truly exhausted, their arms wrapped around each other.

 

TBC

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sacha Dhawan is four years older than Finn Jones so I thought a two-to-three year age difference was reasonable for Davos and Danny.
> 
> I know a lot of Danny's thoughts and feelings seemed rather contradictory at times, but he's had years of Davos gaslighting him about what was going on. Victims of prolonged abuse can be 'unreliable narrators' about their own lives, so to speak. If that makes sense. ^^


	15. Matt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lovely comments I've been getting on this fic have been giving me LIFE, guys, so thank you so much! *^_^*
> 
> Pretty nervous about this chapter, too. ^^;;;

Matt and Jessica both paused as they stepped out the doors of Danny’s building into the late afternoon bustle of people. Rush hour was well under way.

 

“It’ll take forever to get a cab,” Jessica declared. “If you’re not in too big a hurry we could just walk. I could use the air.”

 

“I’ve got the time, and I could use the air, too,” Matt agreed. He unfolded his cane and hooked his hand in her elbow in what had become their usual routine before they set off, first south, and then west towards Hell’s Kitchen. They walked in silence for awhile, both of them weighed down by heavy thoughts.

 

“Well, that was… eye-opening,” Jessica finally declared. “That kid is so fucked in the head it’s almost beyond believing.”

 

“Jessica,” Matt admonished, thought there was no heat in it. She… wasn’t _wrong,_ exactly.

 

“Of course I’m not saying it’s his _fault,_ ” Jessica continued. “But I mean, c’mon. He was in an abusive sexual relationship with Davos and didn’t even realize it. He insisted everything was fine and normal in one breath and then went on about the whole thing being his _fault_ in the next. He said he didn’t want it but then also said that Davos did nothing wrong. And then the pinnacle of the whole mess has got to be that when he got beaten for what basically amounts to being molested, not only did he not question it, he thinks it was _deserved_. That is a _serious_ level of denial and… and fucking _brainwashing._ ” She broke off with a frustrated, angry sound.

 

“Yeah,” Matt agreed with a heavy sigh. “I don’t know that anything’s really hammered home just how isolated he was in K’un Lun the way that this has. I mean, I _knew_ he was cut off from the rest of the world there, but I don’t think I ever took the time to appreciate what that really _meant_ , or what all of the consequences could be. Behaviour that was so obviously and unquestioningly abusive to us was the only normal he knew for years, with no exposure to any media or other frame of reference or anything like that to make him question it.”

 

“He didn’t know he was in an abusive relationship because he never saw an after-school special about abuse, is that what you’re saying?” Jessica asked drily.

 

“A rather gross oversimplification, maybe, but kind of,” Matt said, a little amused despite himself. “Think about how so much of what we think and feel about what’s right and wrong can be influenced by the media and culture around us. We can’t expect the same logic and thinking patterns from Danny as from someone who grew up exposed to Western culture their whole life.”

 

“He got trapped in K’un Lun when he was ten, not two. Don’t even ten-year-olds get taught the basics about abuse and bad touching and stuff?” Jessica groused.

 

“Not necessarily,” Matt said thoughtfully. “Now that I’m thinking about it, we don’t actually know that much about what his early childhood was like. He never mentions his parents beyond the plane crash. I know he was home schooled, which is something else that can potentially be very isolating. And as far as I know, Joy and Ward were his primary childhood friends, which is a pretty small circle. So even his pre-K’un Lun experiences of the world seem like they were pretty limited.”

 

“Sounds like he was destined to be fucked in the head no matter what happened,” Jessica muttered. Matt raised an eyebrow at her. “And I say that with the utmost affection, of course” she snarked. “I don’t know, man, I know it’s gotten more common and all but I just have an innate suspicion of people who home school. Joy and Ward went to normal school, didn’t they? Well, a fancy private school, I’m sure, but an actual school, right?”

 

“I believe so,” Matt replied.

 

“Then why didn’t Danny?” she asked.

 

“I have no idea,” Matt said. “And we can theorize about this all we want but it’s important to remember that plenty of people end up in abusive relationships and with unhealthy thinking patterns, no matter who raised them or where they grew up. There don’t actually need to be any special circumstances necessary to explain it. There just happen to be some especially extenuating circumstances in this case. It’s terrible and tragic, but unfortunately it happens all the time.”

 

“That’s a pretty depressing thought, but you’re right, of course,” she replied.

 

They continued on in silence for another few moments.

 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Matt finally ventured. He half-expected her to get angry or defensive at the question, but she just sighed heavily.

 

“I’m not about to shatter into a million pieces, if that’s what you’re asking. I can be around discussions of sexual assault without falling apart,” she said blandly. “It was just… _hard,_ you know? Listening to him talk about it.” She paused and he sensed that she was struggling to find the right words before continuing. “He can be such a… such a _kid_ so much of the time. It felt almost like listening to an _actual_ thirteen-year-old talk about being molested.” She shuddered. Matt gave her arm a reassuring squeeze.

 

“It _was_ rough to listen to,” Matt agreed. He’d had similar thoughts himself. Listening to _anyone_ recount such events would have been difficult, of course, but with the air of almost child-like innocence and naïvety that Danny so often carried… it had been worse.

 

“God, just hearing him making excuses for that fucker, justifying all his coercive bullshit and blaming himself like a… like a battered girlfriend or something,” she muttered, shaking her head.

 

“Unfortunately that comparison might not be far off,” Matt remarked grimly. “And those unhealthy thinking patterns are likely pretty deeply ingrained. Between Davos’ head games and Lei Kung’s harsh training, I’d say it’s probably going to take more than one unpleasant conversation to undo fifteen years of damage.”

 

“Yeah, I really didn’t like how even when things seemed to finally be sinking in, his instinct still seemed to be to give that fucker the benefit of the doubt,” Jessica said darkly.

 

“It definitely complicates things when the person hurting you is someone you care about,” Matt sighed. “Part of you just doesn’t want to believe it’s possible, wants to make all kinds of excuses for them. But we’ll remind Danny of how things are as often as is necessary. And hopefully we can keep Davos away from him. I don’t even want to think about how that confrontation might go with things as they are now.”

 

Jessica was quiet for so long that Matt was about to ask her if she was okay again when she finally spoke.

 

“That thing you mentioned yesterday,” she said slowly. “About the big sister-type concern?”

 

“Yeah?” he asked cautiously.

 

“It fucking sucks,” she said flatly. He couldn’t help but chuckle a little.

 

“Yeah, it definitely can,” Matt agreed.  “But… I think it’s worth it. I’ve… I’ve tried it before, cutting myself off, telling myself I wasn’t going to care about anyone anymore. Not only does it not work, you end up hurting yourself more in the long run.” He paused thoughtfully. “This team… it feels _right_ somehow, even if I tried to resist it at first. I think we need each other. All of us, not just Danny.”

 

“It’s strange, after the whole Midland Circle deal I was pretty sure I’d be happy if I never saw any of you clowns again,” Jessica said wryly. “I sent one word replies to Luke’s occasional texts and completely ignored the ones Danny sent me like the asshole I am. But then when Luke texted about that dinner, he didn’t even have to try to convince me. I just agreed without really thinking about it. I’m still not sure why.”

 

“Resistance is futile,” Matt said with a smirk. Jessica snorted.

 

“The timing’s even kind of funny, when you think about it,” she continued. “We come together as a team and only days later this whole Davos thing blows up. I… I kind of hate to admit it, but I really don’t like the thought of what might have happened if Danny and Colleen were dealing with it alone.”

 

“You care about them,” Matt said simply.

 

“Yeah, I care about them. Happy?” she said snippily.

 

“Very,” Matt said with a small smile. “You know, with all the insane crap we’ve dealt with, it might not be so insane to think that fate might be playing some kind of role here in bringing us together.”

 

“Fate? Or do you mean God?” Jessica asked archly.

 

“Call it whatever you want,” Matt shrugged. “But you can’t deny that it’s pretty amazing that we finally all pulled our acts together after several weeks and made the team official days before Davos showed up to cause serious trouble.”

 

“Speaking of that fucker, I’m actually almost looking forward to running into him again,” Jessica said, sounding rather vicious. “I’m going to pull his spine out through his throat.”

 

“You know, you can be a little scary sometimes,” Matt said. “I like it.” He could almost feel her answering grin and he gave her arm another little squeeze.

 

“You know, Danny did confirm one other thing we’d been wondering about,” Jessica said, a note of slyness creeping into her voice.

 

“Oh?” Matt asked.

 

“He mentioned checking out a warrior at a tournament. A _male_ warrior,” she said.

 

“I think you’re the only one who was wondering about that,” Matt said, a little exasperated.

 

“Hey, excuse me if I want to enjoy the fact that at least that bastard didn’t spoil Danny’s ability to have adorable puppy love for you and Luke. Silver linings and all that,” she snarked.

 

“He does not have ‘puppy love’ for us,” Matt said, feeling his face heat up a little. “Besides, even if he did, he’s already with Colleen and they’re obviously crazy about each other.”

 

“Crazy’s definitely the right word,” Jessica drawled. “But hell, I’ve seen her giving you guys appreciative glances, too. Maybe she’d want to watch. Or join in.”

 

“Jessica!” Matt said, flustered.

 

“I know, I know, you’re a good Catholic boy. Sorry if I scandalized you,” she said in amusement.

 

“I’m not… scandalized,” he muttered, his face flaming by that point.

 

Quite the opposite, in fact.

 

Jessica seemed to sense something of this as her demeanor sobered somewhat.

 

“You know, they say workplace dating is a terrible idea,” she declared after they’d walked in silence for a few moments. “And I can only imagine what they might say about dating between people who are in therapy together. But we’re already breaking the rules, with Danny and Colleen and Luke and Claire, and well, Luke and I have… history. Maybe rules are for ordinary people. And if there’s one thing that’s pretty fucking obvious it’s that none of us are ordinary people.”

 

Matt raised an eyebrow, wondering a little where she was going with this apparent tangent. Kind of _suspecting_ where she was going and feeling something warm tingle in his chest.

 

“Well, this is where we part ways,” she suddenly declared and Matt realized they’d reached the point where he would continue west but she would turn south for a couple of blocks. “Good luck with your dinner, Murdock. I… I really hope it goes well.” She stood silently in front of him for a moment before suddenly leaning forward and brushing her lips briefly over his. And then she was gone.

 

Matt stood on the corner for a moment, feeling a little stunned.

 

It wasn’t as if Jessica’s… _overture_ was entirely unexpected. There’d been an undercurrent of _something_ passing between them almost from the moment they’d met. It had been starting to feel inevitable that something would eventually happen.

 

It was the sprinkling in of all the innuendo about the others alongside it that was throwing him for a bit of a loop.

 

He’d been honest when he said he wasn’t scandalized, though. He felt like maybe _that_ should surprise him, but... it didn’t.

 

He had experience with being in love with more than one person, after all.

 

The thought that two of those people would soon be at his loft for dinner was what finally spurred him back into motion.

 

The day’s events and revelations, as terrible as they’d been, had at the very least provided him with a distraction. But it all came rushing back to him then. He was going to sit down with Foggy and Karen and talk with them. _Really_ talk with them. He was going to be completely honest and lay all his cards on the table.

 

The next move, whether it was rejection, acceptance, or something else, would be theirs.

 

 _If they even show up, of course,_ a pessimistic voice whispered in the back of his mind.

 

But he determinedly pushed that voice away. Foggy had seemed really pleased by the invitation. He would come. And somehow he knew Karen would come, too, even if her only reason was to get some closure.

 

He realized his palms were sweating and made a conscious effort to calm himself. Yes, he was scared of how they might react. Oh, God, was he ever scared. But it _had_ to be done. They deserved the truth. If… if the worst happened and they couldn’t accept him as he was.… Well, it would be terrible and painful beyond imagining. But it wouldn’t be much different than the present state of things between them, after all.

 

And at least he wouldn’t have to go through it alone.

 

The thought wasn’t completely comforting. Just because he knew he could likely _survive_ not having Foggy and Karen in his life, it didn’t mean that it wouldn’t be devastating. These past few weeks without them, and the months before that of only limited contact, had been terrible. Because of the team he wouldn’t be alone, no, but he wouldn’t be _complete,_ either.

 

_Can you ever really be complete without Elektra, anyway?_

 

Matt pushed that thought away, too, and did his best to ignore the painful ache it left in its wake.

 

He stopped into the liquor store a block away from his loft to pick up a bottle of the wine he knew Karen favoured and a six-pack of Foggy’s favourite beer. _Bribes_ , he thought a little ruefully, but with the heavy agenda he intended to discuss with them a little medicinal lubrication might be appreciated.

 

Once he arrived at his loft he changed into fresh clothes. Though he had showered that morning at Jessica’s after their night of drinking, he’d only had the previous day’s suit to wear again. After that he fussed around a bit, trying to make sure everything was perfect, dishes and utensils laid out and ready, everything as tidy as he could manage to make it. He felt vaguely ridiculous, since it was only Foggy and Karen, after all, but he didn’t think he’d ever felt so nervous over a dinner before in his entire life.

 

The food he’d pre-ordered earlier that day from an upscale Thai place arrived promptly at ten to seven and just as he finished laying the containers out on the coffee table with the dishes, there was another knock at the door. His heart jumped into his throat.

 

They were there. This was it.

 

Swallowing down his nerves, he made his way to the door and opened it. They were both there, and he felt a little bit of his anxiety give way.

 

They were just as nervous as he was. It was rolling off them in waves.

 

“Hi, guys. Thank you for coming,” he said with a small smile, waving them inside.

 

“Thanks for the invite, man,” Foggy said sincerely.

 

“Yes, thank you,” Karen said. The tense formality in her voice sent a pang through Matt’s heart, but he could hardly blame her. The last time they’d spoken to each other had been at the police station the night of the Midland Circle debacle.

 

It didn’t matter. She’d come. She was at least willing to listen to what he had to say. That was what was important.

 

“The food just arrived so we should eat it while it’s hot. Then we can really… talk,” Matt said. “Drinks?” They both accepted and after he’d served them they all settled down to eat, Foggy and Karen on the couch, Matt in the armchair.

 

He was warmed by the fact that Foggy made an attempt at some light small talk while they ate, preventing an awkward silence from falling, though Karen didn’t contribute much. He was pleased to hear that Foggy really enjoyed working at Hogarth, Chao and Benowitz, even as it sent another sharp pang through his heart at the thought of the lost dream that was Nelson and Murdock, Avocados at Law. All that mattered was that Foggy was happy.

 

After they’d all finished eating, Matt refreshed Karen’s wine and grabbed another beer for Foggy, as well as one for himself. He figured he was going to need it.

 

 _Jessica would be proud,_ he thought wryly.

 

“So,” he said with a chuckle that was more nerves than amusement. “I asked you both to come because there are things I need to share with you, things I need to explain.”

 

“About Daredevil?” Karen asked. Matt was surprised that he couldn’t detect any rancour in her voice, only cautiousness. He supposed that was a promising sign.

 

“Yes,” he said. He took a deep breath, gathering all of his courage. “It was wrong of me to let either of you believe that I could just quit being Daredevil, like it was an addiction. Not only was I misleading you, I was misleading myself. Daredevil is a part of who I am, and always will be.”

 

Heavy silence hung in the room for several long moments. Matt fiddled anxiously with the edge of the label on his bottle of beer, trying to be patient as he waited for one of them to respond.

 

“Well, you won’t get any argument out of us about it having been wrong to treat it like an addiction,” Foggy finally said. “Karen and I have talked it over, and we agree that that wasn’t fair of us, either, Matt, even if you were going along with it for awhile.”

 

“I’m really glad to hear that,” Matt said, feeling a little bit of his tension ease. “But I sense a ‘but’ coming.”

 

“You say that Daredevil is a part of you,” Karen began. “But are you sure that’s not just an excuse to… to….”

 

“To go out and get yourself killed?” Foggy finished for her flatly.

 

“Why… why would you think that?” Matt asked after sitting in a stunned silence for a moment.

 

“C’mon, Matt,” Foggy said sadly. “How long have we known each other? I know you can get kind of… kind of _down_ sometimes. And with how much you’ve gotten hurt while doing this? With how many times you’ve almost _died_? And, well, you’ve always had a bit of a Catholic martyr thing going on….”

 

“We’re just worried,” Karen interjected. “Things may not have been great between us for awhile, but we’ve never stopped caring about you. And when it comes to Daredevil business you always seem to get rather… reckless. So I’m going to ask again. Are you _sure_ that that’s not what’s really pushing you to do this?”

 

Matt’s instinct was an immediate and vehement denial, but he took a deep breath and told himself to give the question serious consideration. _Was_ it part of his motivation? He couldn’t really deny that there had been times when his own survival had been something of an afterthought to the rest of the mission, but he didn’t think that was _typical._ Maybe it didn’t concern him as much as people seemed to think it should when he got hurt but he didn’t _set out_ to get himself hurt. And what had happened at Midland Circle had been caused by… extenuating circumstances.

 

“No,” he finally replied. “I can honestly say that some kind of deep-seated death wish is not my motivation to be Daredevil. But… that is kind of related to what else I have to tell you, though.”

 

“What do you mean?” Foggy asked, a note of alarm in his voice.

 

“At Midland Circle,” Matt began, swallowing back the lump in his throat. “I… I was going to stay down there. With Elektra. Even though I knew it meant that I would die. Jessica saved my life by dragging me out.”

 

“God, Matt,” Foggy breathed. Karen covered her mouth in shock.

 

“The Church teaches that suicide is a sin,” Matt said, pushing forward despite the knot in his stomach. _Like ripping off a band-aid,_ he thought wryly. “But I told myself that I would have been dying for someone I loved. That it would be a noble sacrifice, not suicide. But the truth was that I couldn’t face the idea of losing Elektra again, of having to face life without her _again._ Without the one person that understood that being Daredevil is not just something I do. It’s who I am.”

 

As they sat there in another heavy silence, Matt felt another bit of his tension give way. Whatever happened now, however they reacted, he’d _done_ it. He’d finally told them.

 

Which wasn’t to say he wasn’t still incredibly anxious about what they might say.

 

“God, Matt, I’m… I’m _sorry,_ ” Foggy finally said, sounding wrecked. “I… I never wanted to make you feel like that.”

 

“I’m sorry, too,” Karen said, her voice heavy with tears.

 

“No, no, wait, this isn’t about blame,” Matt said, alarmed. “Like I said, I pretended for months like I could live without Daredevil, too. It just… wasn’t possible. All that time trying to lead a ‘normal’ life, it was like torture. It may have looked like I was doing okay on the surface, but I was barely keeping it together.”

 

“Then why did you even try?” Karen asked, pulling a tissue out of her purse to dab at her eyes.

 

“Because I lost Elektra,” Matt said simply. “I… I was going to leave New York with her, before.” Both Foggy and Karen started with surprise. “I love this city, but I was so tired of feeling like no one here understood me. But _she_ did. She understood that Daredevil was a _part_ of me. So I told her that if we survived our last battle with the Hand, I’d leave with her. I thought either we’d both die, or we’d both live. I never even contemplated the possibility that I’d lose her. But I did.” He paused, feeling that overwhelming loss wash over him again, still feeling so fresh even after so much time had passed. “And with her gone… I convinced myself I could kill the Daredevil part of me, too. So I tried. I tried _so hard._ But I couldn’t do it. When the Hand resurfaced I tried to resist it at first, but I knew what I had to do. And then when I realized Elektra was _alive,_ or at least some version of her was, I thought I wouldn’t be able to handle losing her again. But I was wrong. And I was wrong about her being the only one who could understand, too. There are other people in my life now who accept me as Daredevil, who can relate to what it’s like.”

 

“Jessica and the others?” Foggy asked somberly.

 

“Yeah,” Matt said with a small smile. “We’re, uh, officially calling ourselves a team now. To support each other and have each others’ backs. Not just when threats like the Hand appear, but in general.”

 

“That’s… that’s good,” Karen said. Matt raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Maybe they can keep you from being so reckless,” she expanded. Matt barked out a little laugh.

 

“That’s part of the idea, yeah,” he said ruefully. “They’re… they’re really helping. You weren’t completely wrong before, Foggy. A death wish may not be why I’m Daredevil, but I can, as you said, get kind of ‘down’ sometimes. That’s a part of who I am, too. And that undoubtedly contributed to… to being willing to die with Elektra. But having people who understand and can relate makes all the difference.”

 

“I should have been that person for you,” Foggy said sadly.

 

“It’s not your fault, man,” Matt said quickly. “I hid so much from you for so long. That’s on _me._ You had every right to be hurt and angry. And it’s not like your concerns about me acting as a vigilante didn’t have merit. I put you in a terrible position. Both of you.”

 

“We could have been more understanding,” Karen said. She was anxiously twisting the tissue in her fingers. “But… we were _so_ worried about you, Matt. We didn’t mean for that worry to push you away or… or to make you feel so alone. I really am sorry.”

 

“There’s no need for that,” Matt said. “What… what I was really hoping for by inviting you both here and telling you all this was that we could… could start with a clean slate. If… if you can accept that Daredevil is who I am.”

 

Matt felt like his breath was frozen in his chest. This was it. The moment of truth. Things _seemed_ to be going well, but….

 

“I can accept it,” Foggy said almost right away, sending a rush of overwhelming relief washing over him. “I brought you the suit at the police station because I get that there are sometimes going to be situations that the cops can’t handle, though I had foolishly hoped at the time that you just needed one more time to get it out of your system. I can’t say that I’m ever going to be _happy_ about it, exactly, but I _miss_ you, man. If Daredevil comes with the package, then I’ll take him.”

 

“T-thank you, Foggy,” Matt said, feeling more than a little overwhelmed. Karen remained quiet for a moment, and Matt got the feeling that she was studying him contemplatively.

 

“At the police station, when I said you would screw up all the work you’d done to rebuild your life if you went out as Daredevil again, you told me, ‘This _is_ my life’,” she finally said. “I didn’t really understand it then, but I’ve had a lot of time to think about it since then, and especially with the things you’ve told us tonight, I think I’m starting to. It’s… it’s what you’re _meant_ to do, right? Like me being a reporter?”

 

“Yes, it is,” Matt said somberly.

 

“Then I agree with Foggy,” she said. “I doubt I’ll ever be happy about it, but I can’t fault you for being true to who you are. And I want you back in my life, Matt. I… I feel like part of me is missing without you.”

 

“Part of me has been missing without both of you, too,” Matt said, and before he even realized they were coming, tears were tracking down his face. He felt as if some immense weight he hadn’t even been aware of had been lifted off his chest and he could _breathe_ again.

 

“C’mere, man. It’s time for a manly bro-hug,” Foggy said as he rose to his feet, his voice thick with emotion. Matt barked out a slightly hysterical sounding laugh but rose to his feet as well. When Foggy’s arms wrapped around him, Matt felt like he was _home._

 

“No fair, I want in on this,” Karen said, and Matt could sense that she was crying again, too. She stood and wrapped her arms around both of them, squeezing tightly. Foggy and Matt both adjusted their arms so that they wrapped around her, too.

 

“I feel more than a little ridiculous but I don’t even care,” Foggy announced after they’d been standing there silently in a three-way hug for several long moments.

 

Matt didn’t care either. His family was finally complete.

 

TBC


	16. Luke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the comments and kudos! They really keep me going. :)

After Danny and Colleen retreated to the bedroom, Claire decided that they would make a stew for dinner so that once it was done it could simply be reheated when they were ready to eat. Luke agreed easily, and she set him to the task of peeling and chopping some of the vegetables they’d bought earlier that afternoon while she went about cooking the beef in a large pot she found in one of the kitchen cupboards. For awhile they worked in silence, though it was far from relaxed. The tense atmosphere of the earlier conversation lingered. Luke could almost feel it in his bones.

 

What that bastard had done to Danny….

 

And worse still, making him think it was his _fault…._

 

Luke forced himself to take a deep, calming breath before he inadvertently crushed the vegetable peeler and potato he was holding.

 

“How are you doing?” Claire suddenly asked.

 

“Hmm?” Luke replied distractedly. “Oh, I’m almost done with the potatoes.”

 

“No, how are _you_ doing?” she repeated with a note of exasperation.

 

“Me? I’m fine,” he said. She turned from the stove to fix him with an incredulous stare. “What?” he asked, frowning a little.

 

“You can’t fool me, Mr. Bulletproof,” she said. “Just because you’re unbreakable it doesn’t mean you’re a stone. There’s no way that listening to that didn’t affect you.”

 

“Of course it did,” he replied. “It was… it was _awful._ And yeah, it upset me. But I’m more angry than anything else.”

 

“Maybe right now, but I have a feeling it’s going to feel worse the more it sinks in,” Claire said grimly. “God, what a shitshow. Like there wasn’t enough trauma on Danny’s plate. The crash, losing his parents, physical abuse, emotional abuse… and now this, too.” She turned back to the stove, frowning. “Davos really kind of rubbed me the wrong way from the moment I first met him. Something about the way he and Danny interacted always struck me as… off. That it went as deep as this, though….”

 

Luke scowled down at the potatoes he was peeling, remembering the composed arrogance the man had displayed during his brief visit to the dojo the day before. For all his apparent civility, there had been something… _dark_ in his eyes. And the way he had _leered_ when he’d made his comments about Danny…. It made something twist and tighten and _burn_ deep in Luke’s gut.

 

If he’d known then what he knew now….

 

Well, maybe it was for the best that he hadn’t. He might not have been able to control himself.

 

Another troubling thought was whispering at the corners of his mind, despite how much he tried to push it away.

 

“Danny was pretty vague about the… the _mechanics_ of what happened, for the most part,” Luke said slowly. “Just how far do you think Davos took things?”

 

“God, I’m not sure that bears thinking about,” Claire groaned, rubbing her hands over her face. “And does it really matter, ultimately? Whatever happened, it was coerced and sexual assault is sexual assault.”

 

“I guess you’re right. Dwelling on details like that will just drive us insane,” Luke said with a sigh. He set aside the peeler and grabbed a knife to start chopping the potatoes into smaller pieces. He was glad to have something to do to keep his hands busy, a bit of a distraction so that his whole focus wasn’t taken up by the growing pit of unease in his stomach. “You mentioned their interaction was off before. How so?”

 

“Well, it was mostly a vague feeling. He made me… uneasy,” Claire said as she started pulling seasonings from the small rack by the stove. “I got the impression that as the Iron Fist, Danny was technically ‘in charge’ of the ‘mission’, so to speak, but Davos clearly resented it. I attributed it to simple jealousy at the time, but God, if their normal dynamic was _him_ basically always being the one in control and manipulating Danny to do what _he_ wanted, then it’s certainly no wonder that he’d be furious over being expected to be subservient to him.”

 

“Yeah, I can imagine,” Luke said, handing her the bowl of potatoes to add to the other ingredients she’d already added to the pot.

 

“He also said he’d ‘make’ Danny go back to K’un Lun if he had to,” Claire added. “He didn’t elaborate on what exactly _that_ might entail and frankly I was a little too creeped out to ask.” She paused in her actions for a moment, looking thoughtful. “At one point he started to get worked up, over Danny leaving K’un Lun I might add, and I saw him do that same forceful repressing of emotions I’ve seen Danny do so often. When I asked him about it, that was when he told me that that’s what they were taught to do, that a weapon doesn’t know feelings. You know, I’m finding it incredibly unsurprising that training like that is turning out manipulative predators, though I’m sure they can’t _all_ be as bad as he is.”

 

“Sometimes it’s hard to believe that Danny came from there, too,” Luke said, frowning.

 

“Tell me about it,” Claire sighed. “The more I learn about that place and what he went through there, the more amazed I am that despite all the _considerable_ damage left behind, he still has that remarkably pure soul. If that’s not some kind of miracle, I don’t know what is.”

 

“I think I have to agree with you there,” Luke said. A ‘remarkably pure soul’ was a pretty apt description of Danny. Despite having witnessed his parents’ deaths in a plane crash, despite having been trained since childhood to be a brutal warrior, and despite all the trauma and abuse he had suffered, somehow the kid still managed to be kind and generous and… and _innocent_. It _had_ to be a miracle. Thinking of that sweet, goofy smile that adorned his face under happier circumstances once again stirred some warm, unnameable emotion in Luke’s chest, just as it had at the dojo the day before. And just like the day before, Luke wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. It made him kind of uncomfortable, but it also felt _right_ somehow.

 

“I think we should keep a close eye on Matt and Jessica,” Claire was saying, pulling Luke out of his thoughts. “They’re both putting on brave faces, of course, but there’s no way all of this isn’t hard on them, too.”

 

“I think you’re right,” Luke remarked. “It’s good that they’ve been spending so much time together the past couple of days. They fell into this teamwork thing pretty quickly for two people who usually prefer to work alone.”

 

“Maybe because being alone isn’t _actually_ their preference, it’s just a front they put up to protect themselves,” Claire said drily.

 

“I’m pretty sure they’ve been flirting with each other in their own weird way,” Luke said with a small smile. “I wonder if anything will actually come of it.”

 

“And you’d be okay with it if something did?” Claire asked. “You know, considering your feelings for Jessica?”

 

“W-what?” Luke sputtered, taken completely off guard. “Jessica and I have… have some _history,_ but it wasn’t ever _serious,_ really. Why… why would you think…?”

 

“I’m not blind, Luke,” Claire said with a small chuckle. “And I’m not mad, either, or accusing you of anything, so calm down before you give yourself an aneurysm.”

 

“Jeez, don’t blindside a guy with a comment like that,” Luke complained, his blood still singing with the adrenaline jolt. The thing was... she wasn’t really wrong, if he was being completely honest with himself. He cared about Jessica a lot, and not all of those feelings were sexual or romantic in nature. But _some_ of them were. But he was also deeply and passionately in love with Claire. Of that he had no doubt. It was… confusing.

 

“I didn’t mean to blindside you,” Claire said, rubbing her hand on his arm in a conciliatory gesture. “It’s okay with me that you still have feelings for her. I know you love me.”

 

“I love you more than anything,” he confirmed, leaning down to give her a kiss. “You’re… you’re really not mad?”

 

“I’m not,” she said easily, and he could hear the truth in it. “And… I’m not sure I can even explain it, really. I’ve never been the kind of person who gets insanely jealous over their significant other looking at other people, but... this feels different than that. I can’t help but feel that it’s _because_ it’s Jessica. Because it’s… one of us.” She paused, her gaze dropping down to where she still had a hand on his arm. “I’ve given it a lot of thought and I don’t think I’d be upset even if… if something were to happen between you two again.”

 

“Wow,” Luke said, blinking down at her, completely floored by that statement. “Are you… are you _serious?”_

 

“As long as you were honest about it,” she confirmed. She chewed her bottom lip for a moment, looking back up to regard him contemplatively. “And I don’t just mean Jessica. I’ve… noticed you noticing Danny.”

 

Luke stared at her, momentarily struck speechless. His first instinct was to deny her implication, but he found that he _couldn’t,_ not really. He’d just been thinking about how confusing his feelings for Danny were, after all. And Claire was one of the most perceptive people he knew. His eyes widened with dawning realization.

 

“I’m… really confused,” he confessed, rubbing a hand over his face.

 

“Have you never been attracted to a guy before?” Claire asked sympathetically.

 

“No, not really,” Luke said. “Not beyond a basic appreciation of being able to recognize when a guy is good-looking, at least. But Danny, he’s… he’s….”

 

“He’s special,” Claire said with a small smile.

 

“Yeah, he is,” Luke sighed.

 

“Matt’s pretty special, too. And Jessica. And Colleen,” Claire said, her smile widening a little.

 

“You’re trying to kill me, aren’t you?” Luke lamented, rubbing his face again. Her words were bringing some… _interesting_ mental pictures to mind. He thought that aneurysm she had joked about might be a real possibility.

 

“Don’t stress about it, Luke,” Claire said. “I don’t think anybody’s in any position to be jumping into anything new anytime soon. _Especially_ Danny. And all of this is pretty… new. To all of us. There’s no rush.”

 

“I’m still pretty blown away by how casual you are about it,” Luke said. “I mean… I was taught that a real man never steps out on his woman. Having all these feelings for other people, for other _guys,_ when I already love you so much….”

 

“I don’t know that casual’s the right word,” Claire said mildly. “And just because I’m not having an existential crisis it doesn’t mean that I’m not finding the situation… strange. Trust me, I am. But… it just feels _right_ somehow, you know?”

 

“The situation is indeed very strange,” Luke said. “And I’m not having an existential crisis,” he added, perhaps a little petulantly.

 

“Could have fooled me,” Claire said with a gently teasing grin. “I know you’re freaking out a bit, Luke. It’s totally understandable. I wasn’t completely comfortable at first, either, when I realized where my feelings were going, which is why I didn’t say anything before. I think… I think it’s this _team_ that’s making me feel okay with things I otherwise wouldn’t have been able to fathom. We have a bunch of strange and unique people who have come together in a strange and unique way so why shouldn’t strange and unique things happen between them?”

 

“That’s certainly one way to look at it,” Luke said with a sigh. Claire wrapped her arms around him and he returned the embrace.

 

“Like I said, don’t stress about it,” she said. “This definitely seems like a ‘go with the flow’ kind of situation. And who knows if the others even feel the same way? Though I’m starting to think I’ll be surprised if they aren’t feeling _something_ , at least a little. Something… something’s at work here, I think.”

 

“Fate?” Luke asked, arching an eyebrow incredulously.

 

“Who knows?” Claire said, turning back to the stove to stir the stew, which had started to simmer while they’d been talking. “We’ll just have to see what happens, I guess. We already have a lot to deal with that’s far more urgent.”

 

“You got that right,” Luke agreed. Gao’s return and whatever that might entail, the threat of what Davos might do, and of course Danny’s mental well-being… they certainly had their plates full.

 

Claire tasted the stew, added some more seasoning, and then declared it ready. She covered the pot with a lid and set the burner to the lowest setting to let it simmer awhile. Then she and Luke moved to the living room, settling down on the couch facing the huge flat-screen TV that was mounted on the wall. Claire nestled against Luke’s side and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. After channel-surfing for awhile, with the volume kept low so as not to disturb the sleepers down the hall, Claire finally settled on a movie and set the remote aside.

 

Luke tried to focus on the screen but his mind kept circling back to their earlier conversation. What Claire had seemed to suggest, that some… some larger force was somehow exerting influence over their lives…. His rational mind told him it was crazy, but he couldn’t help but wonder. They’d gone their separate ways after Midland Circle, but had been drawn back together easily enough, almost as if they’d known it was inevitable. Even Jessica, who had been the most opposed to any concept of a continued partnership. And now not only Davos, but Gao, one of the leaders of the Hand, had resurfaced. Could it really be a coincidence?

 

And as for the rest of it….

 

Not that long ago, being _intimate_ with another person while he was already in a committed relationship would have been unfathomable. He just wasn’t wired that way. It was one thing to have multiple casual partners when you were single, but it was just that, casual. It didn’t work that way when there were real feelings involved. When you were in _love._ At least it never had before….

 

But Claire had opened a floodgate in his mind, and now he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Jessica. Danny. Matt and Colleen, too. Somehow the prospect of someday sharing something with them, any of them or even _all_ of them, was seeming more and more… _right,_ as Claire had put it. Somehow it wasn’t seeming as _crazy_ as it should. He knew he cared about all of them, a lot. But when he really examined those feelings he realized they went deeper than that. He’d never felt about anyone the way he felt about them. It really did seem like some kind of unusual and unexplainable bond was forming between them.

 

Was there really something special about the team, beyond the obvious fact of the special powers possessed by most of them?

 

Luke’s thoughts were interrupted by Danny and Colleen’s emergence from the bedroom. He glanced at his watch and saw that it had been barely two hours since they’d gone for their nap. They both looked rather bedraggled and still very tired.

 

“Up already?” Claire asked, muting the TV and sitting up straight.

 

“Yeah. I… I had a nightmare, and it woke Colleen,” Danny said sheepishly, running his hand through his sleep disheveled hair. Luke noticed that it was getting long enough to curl and found himself wondering what it would feel like to run _his_ fingers through it. To maybe run his fingers other places, too.

 

And then he could have kicked himself as a wave of guilt crashed over him. What business did he have looking at Danny like… like _that,_ only a few hours after he’d revealed he’d been sexually abused? When he still looked so wrecked and vulnerable? Who knew how Danny might react to even a hint of that type of overture in his current state of mind?

 

 _Get your libido under control, man,_ he admonished himself. _Now is not the time._

 

Luke reasoned that it wasn’t as if he just wanted to… to _jump_ him, anyway. There was physical attraction there, that he could certainly no longer deny, but mostly he wanted to protect and care for him. Anything more - if there ever _was_ going to be anything more - could wait. Those feelings were very new to Luke, too, after all, and he didn’t think he was quite ready to move forward with them yet, either.

 

“And I already told you not to feel guilty about that,” Colleen admonished gently. Danny just gave her a small, tired smile in response.

 

“It’s not a big deal, Danny. We’ll have a nice dinner, maybe watch something relatively mindless on TV for awhile to relax, and then you guys can try again,” Claire said, rising to her feet and heading to the kitchen. Danny nodded, and Luke noticed that he wasn’t quite meeting anyone’s gaze. He guessed it wasn’t too surprising that he probably still felt raw and embarrassed from all the day’s revelations. It made Luke feel all the more determined not to do anything that might add to his discomfort.

 

In short order they were all settled back on the couch with steaming bowls of stew. Claire found an episode of Unlikely Animal Friends on the National Geographic channel and for awhile they ate silently while watching a dog cavort with an orangutan on the huge screen.

 

“I really hope Matt’s dinner is going well,” Danny said worriedly, breaking the silence. “He’d be a lot happier with Foggy and Karen back in his life.”

 

“I’m sure they miss him a lot, too,” Claire said. “I have a feeling it will work out.”

 

“I hope you’re right,” Danny said, his brow furrowed with concern.

 

Luke regarded him contemplatively. They were all aware of Danny’s especially strong admiration of Daredevil, as it was too obvious to miss. He’d assumed it was something similar to the innocent, starry-eyed veneration of superheroes that was common to young children, which was not all that surprising to see in someone who could so often seem akin to a guileless child. But after everything Claire had said he couldn’t help but wonder if there was more to it.

 

Earlier Danny had mentioned admiring an older warrior at a tournament, and that it had made Davos angry and jealous. It stood to reason that Davos had noticed that Danny hadn’t just been admiring him, he’d been _attracted_ to him. So whether he realized it or not, Danny had basically revealed that he was capable of being attracted to guys.

 

It made sense that someone with Danny’s upbringing would find being a skilled warrior to be an attractive quality in a person, and Matt was certainly that.

 

His generally affable demeanor and incredible good looks likely didn’t hurt, either, Luke mused, feeling a flush of warmth in his gut.

 

So it seemed quite likely that Danny probably didn’t just admire Matt. He was attracted to him, even if it was only subconsciously.

 

With his new awareness of the nature of some of his own feelings for Danny, Luke almost expected to feel jealous, but he didn’t. Claire’s earlier words echoed back to him. She wasn’t jealous of Jessica because Jessica was one of _them._ Just like Matt was one of them.

 

Luke really was going to give himself an aneurysm, thinking about all of this.

 

“I’ll wash up the dishes,” he declared in an effort to distract himself. He started gathering up the bowls.

 

“You already helped prepare the meal, so at least let me dry,” Colleen said, rising to her feet as well.

 

“I should help, too,” Danny said, but when he started to stand she put a hand on his shoulder to gently push him back down.

 

“You paid for the food, that’s your contribution. Stay there and watch cuddly animals be adorable. I’ll be back soon,” she said with a smile. Danny nodded his acquiescence with a small, sheepish smile.

 

For awhile Luke and Colleen worked in a companionable silence, Luke washing the dishes and Colleen drying them and putting them away in the cupboards, the soundtrack from the TV providing background noise. There wasn’t much to do and with the two of them working together it wasn’t long before Luke had dried his hands and was giving the counter a final wipe-down while Colleen finished up the last of the drying.

 

“I want to thank you and Claire for everything you’ve been doing,” Colleen said quietly, her eyes not rising from her task. “I… I can’t even say how much it means to me. And to Danny.”

 

“Hey, that’s what families are for,” Luke said, reaching over to give her shoulder a gentle squeeze. She looked up at him, genuine startlement on her face before she flushed and looked down again, though not before he caught the shine that had sprung up in her eyes. He gently took the bowl and dish towel from her hands and set them on the counter before pulling her into a proper hug.

 

She shook for a moment as if fighting to control herself before finally sinking against him with a sigh, her arms tightening around him. They stood like that for a few moments before she started to pull back, and he let her go without protest. He glanced out to the living room, but Danny and Claire’s attention seemed transfixed on the screen. Colleen wiped at her eyes, looking a little embarrassed.

 

“Thank you,” she said again.

 

“Anytime,” he said, giving her shoulder another little squeeze. “Go on back to Danny, I’ll finish up in here.” She nodded and returned to the living room, practically plastering herself against Danny’s side on the couch. Danny welcomed her easily, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and planting a kiss on top of her head.

 

Luke watched them for a moment, his heart aching a little with the force of how much he cared about them. Both of them. With her poise and maturity it was easy to forget how young Colleen was, and how she, too, had had a turbulent and difficult life that had not left her unscathed. She needed their love and support just as much as Danny did. Luke shuddered at the thought of the two of them being lost and alone, adrift with no one but each other to turn to.

 

 _They’ll never be alone again,_ he vowed.

 

He noticed Claire looking at him and she raised an eyebrow inquisitively when their gazes met. He nodded at her to show that he was okay and she nodded in return before turning back to the TV. Luke made quick work of finishing the tidying up and then returned to the couch, where Claire snuggled up next to him.

 

They next couple of hours passed quietly as they watched relatively mindless TV that allowed them all to decompress somewhat from the emotionally turbulent events of the day. Periodically Luke would notice Danny tense up a little, or sometimes even flinch, his eyes darting to look at some fixed but empty point in the room. Each time Colleen would squeeze his hand reassuringly or softly murmur something to him and he would slowly start to relax again.

 

It was fairly easy to conclude that it was because of hallucinations. Seeing it unfold before his eyes like that was rather… disquieting. And the frequency with which they seemed to be occurring was also pretty worrying. Luke was sure that it was significantly higher than ‘normal’, or at least what would have been considered normal before Davos’ return. But it shouldn’t be surprising, he supposed. Stress was supposed to make them worse. And by bringing things out into the open, by talking about them, they’d opened a floodgate of sorts. Claire had said as much when she’d been telling them about her research the day before. Working through the issues that were causing or contributing to psychotic symptoms would be a lengthy, uncomfortable, and often distressing process, and things were likely to get worse before they got better. It was a grim thought.

 

“Do you want to try sleeping again?” Colleen finally asked around ten o’clock, and Danny, his eyes heavy with exhaustion, nodded his agreement.

 

“Would you like us to stay?” Claire asked. Luke hoped they would agree. With Colleen there Danny wouldn’t be alone, which fulfilled the requirements of the ‘buddy system’ they’d implemented, but Luke really didn’t fancy the idea of leaving her to deal with it alone if something did happen. For awhile, at least, it would likely be best to always have at least one other person with both of them.

 

“It would probably be a good idea,” Colleen said a little uncertainly, looking at Danny. “If it’s okay with you, Danny?”

 

“Yeah,” Danny said tiredly, looking a little embarrassed. “There are two extra bedrooms, use whichever you like. The guest bathroom is stocked with toiletries like extra toothbrushes and stuff. Help yourselves.”

 

Luke noticed that Colleen looked just as relieved at Danny’s agreement as he felt himself. She likely knew it would be best to have help close at hand if it was needed, too.

 

“We should probably just head to bed, too,” Claire suggested after Danny and Colleen had disappeared down the hallway. Luke readily agreed. To say that it had been a long, tiring day would have been an understatement of epic proportions. But despite that, he found that after they’d made use of the provided toiletries and settled into the sinfully comfortable bed in one of the guest rooms, his mind was reluctant to quiet and let him sleep.

 

“What happened with Colleen earlier?” Claire asked quietly after they’d been lying there for awhile, apparently finding sleep elusive as well.

 

“So you did notice,” Luke replied. “She wanted to thank us for everything we’ve been doing, and got a little emotional when I told her that that’s what families are for.”

 

“Poor kid,” Claire murmured. “She’s had a complicated history with families, between losing her parents so young and then basically being brainwashed and then betrayed by the Hand.”

 

“It wasn’t planned, but I meant it,” Luke said firmly. “They’re family now. I’ve been thinking about what you were saying before, and I still don’t know if fate or whatever has anything to do with it, but whatever brought us all together, I think that’s what this team is turning into. Some kind of strange and unique and incredibly messed up family.” Claire chuckled a little.

 

“You got that right,” she said.

 

“It reminded me, too, that her problems might not be as… as dramatic as Danny’s, but she needs us, too,” Luke said.

 

“Yeah, she does,” Claire sighed. “So do Matt and Jessica. I’m almost tempted to make a chart of everyone’s issues so no one gets forgotten or left behind, so to speak.”

 

“Well, here’s hoping that after all the upheaval today, tomorrow will at least be more peaceful,” Luke said, his eyes finally starting to feel heavy with encroaching sleep.

 

“Yeah, here’s hoping,” Claire murmured drowsily, drifting off as well.

 

TBC

 


	17. Danny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you so much to everyone who has commented or left kudos! It really means a lot to me that people are enjoying this fic. :)

_Danny felt like he was floating. He had almost achieved that perfect state of calmness and peace that was the pinnacle of meditation, when suddenly the door to his room burst open and Davos was shuffling into the tiny space, closing the door behind him._

 

_“Davos,” Danny complained, though he tucked himself more firmly into the corner so that there was more room for Davos to sit on the mat beside him. “It’s the middle of the night. What are you doing here?”_

 

_“Well it doesn’t look like I woke you up. What, couldn’t sleep again?” Davos asked, as he settled down, pressing more firmly against Danny’s side than was strictly necessary, even in the limited space._

 

_“No,” Danny confirmed glumly. “I hoped meditating for awhile would help.”_

 

_“Well, this will probably help more,” Davos said, producing a bottle of plum wine from inside his robes with a grin._

 

 _Danny smiled, but he felt a tremor of uneasiness as well. Ever since what had happened on Davos’ birthday several months before, Davos had been wanting to do..._ **_things_ ** _… more and more often. The inclusion of the wine almost guaranteed that events would take that kind of turn at some point._

 

_“I… I don’t know,” he said, trying to use as conciliatory a tone as possible. “It’s already really late….”_

 

_The grin slipped from Davos’ face almost as if a switch had been flipped, and the unease growing in Danny’s stomach intensified._

 

_“I went through all the effort of bringing this to you, even though I could get in a lot of trouble, and this is the thanks I get?” Davos bit out, his scowl obvious even in the dim moonlight filtering in from the one high window above their heads. “Why do you always have to be such an ungrateful brat? Why do I even bother?”_

 

_“No, I’m sorry!” Danny said quickly. “You’re right, I’m just being dumb! Thank you for thinking of me, Davos. Of course I’d like some.” Davos regarded him with a narrow-eyed stare which made Danny’s skin prickle before he suddenly grinned again. He uncorked the bottle and took a deep drink before passing it to Danny._

 

 _Danny accepted the bottle with a wide smile, wanting to show Davos that of course he appreciated his gesture. Davos knew he often had trouble sleeping, after all. He probably_ **_had_ ** _just thought it might help him sleep. It was stupid of Danny to have thought there might be an ulterior motive. Davos was being_ **_thoughtful_ ** _, and he was right, Danny really should be more grateful._

 

_Danny took a generous drink from the bottle, enjoying the sweet taste and the slow burn of the path it forged down his throat and into his belly. The wine was strong, and it never took much before he started to feel... fuzzy. By the time they’d passed the bottle back and forth a couple of times, Danny’s head had started to loll against Davos’ shoulder._

 

_“Lie down,” Davos’ voice said, sounding far away. Danny obeyed instinctively, Davos’ hands guiding him whenever he faltered and soon they were both lying down on the thin straw mat that passed for Danny’s bed, Davos settling so that he was almost half draped over Danny’s smaller form. Danny frowned a little. Shouldn’t Davos head back to his own room? It would be dawn soon, they’d get in trouble…._

 

_Davos’ hand was still moving over him, petting him, sliding inside his robes…._

 

_“Davos?” Danny whispered, tension creeping up his spine despite the languid effects of the alcohol. He could feel a hardness growing against his thigh where Davos was pressed against him._

 

_“Shhh,” Davos said. “This will help you sleep, too.” And then his hand reached its destination and it was stroking him, causing Danny to gasp at the intense sensation. Then he realized that Davos had grabbed one of his hands and was guiding it to the hardness between Davos’ own legs. “Come on, Danny. You know what to do.”_

 

 _Danny didn’t want to. But the hand gripping his wrist was like a steel manacle, brooking no argument, and it would be so much easier just to do what Davos wanted… so much easier if he didn’t make him_ **_angry_ ** _again…._

 

_Sensations and quick, gasping breaths floated in and out of his awareness until he realized that he was no longer in the tiny six by six cell that had been his room at the monastery. He was bigger, fully grown, and… and he couldn’t move!_

 

_Panic sang through his veins as he realized he was strapped down to a bed with leather restraints. When he tried to summon his chi so that he could break free he found his mind to be too clouded. He couldn’t focus. It was like… like…._

 

_Birch. He was in Birch Psychiatric Hospital and he was strapped down to the bed and completely helpless and there was a large man in white scrubs looming over him with a placid smile…._

 

_“No,” Danny said desperately. “No, I’m not supposed to be here!”_

 

_“Time to take your medicine,” the orderly said, his smile spreading into a wide, leering grin. “Open.” He forced a handful of pills into Danny’s mouth and then held his palm clamped over his lips until Danny had no choice but to swallow or choke._

 

 _“No, no, you can’t do this,” Danny moaned piteously after the hand was finally taken away. He coughed, his throat protesting at having been forced to dry-swallow so many pills. He tugged at the restraints though they had no give, and in his disoriented, drugged state there wasn’t anything he could do, he was absolutely_ **_powerless_ ** _…._

 

_The orderly was still standing over him, still with that wide grin, so wide it should have been impossible… a Cheshire cat grin._

 

 _“Just calm down, now. Everything’s going to be fine,” the orderly said, though that disconcerting grin didn’t seem to move. “You’re right where you belong. This time you won’t get away. You’ll stay here with us. Forever.” His hand was petting Danny’s leg, moving higher and higher, his fingers twitching, caressing, that grin growing ever wider, and there was nothing Danny could do, absolutely_ **_nothing_ ** _…._

 

_He started to scream._

 

 _And then he wasn’t lying down anymore. He was sitting up in a hard-backed chair. But he still couldn’t_ **_move_ ** _. His struggles only caused the rope he was tied with to tighten across his throat and choke him. And his mind was still so clouded, his chi was still beyond his reach, he was still_ **_helpless_ ** _…._

 

_“Now, now, you’ll just choke yourself out if you keep that up.”_

 

_Luke’s voice, sounding amused. Danny suddenly realized he was standing over him, looming much as the orderly had done, wearing a cruel expression that looked alien on his normally kind face._

 

 _“W-why?” Danny gasped, the familiar wave of hurt and betrayal washing over him . “Why are you doing this to me? We’re… we’re supposed to be… to be a team. We’re supposed to be working_ **_together_ ** _.”_

 

 _“Who the hell would want to be on a team with_ **_you_ ** _?” Luke sneered. “An annoying, immature nutcase.” Suddenly he was crouching in front of him, his hands kneading at Danny’s thighs._

 

 _“W-what are you doing?” Danny wheezed, yanking instinctively on the restraints despite how they tightened around his throat. Luke looked up at him with something cold and malicious glittering in his eyes. No, they weren’t Luke’s eyes. They were the eyes of something_ **_evil_ ** _, looking at him out of Luke’s face, and Danny felt a scream bubbling up inside him but it was trapped by the rope that was asphyxiating him. The rope continued to grow tighter and tighter, completely cutting off his air despite the fact that he’d stopped struggling, frozen in his terror._

 

 _“What, are you going to try to tell me you don’t_ **_want_ ** _this, you little slut?” Luke drawled, rubbing his large hands firmly up and down Danny’s thighs, reaching higher and higher. “I know you’ve been watching me.”_

 

 _“No…,” Danny moaned, and how was he even speaking when he couldn’t get any air? He closed his eyes, not wanting to see, but somehow he still_ **_could_ ** _. Large hands were working at his zipper now, were reaching inside, were_ **_touching_ ** _him, and Danny was crying, was choking on the scream that was trying to get out-_

 

-and then he was gasping as he stared up at the ceiling of the penthouse bedroom, his face wet with tears.

 

 _"Are you crying again? Pathetic,"_ Lei Kung said, and Danny jerked at the sight of him standing over him, just barely visible in the dim light filtering in from the window.

 

“Fuck,” Danny muttered, sitting up quickly and rubbing a hand over his face, trying to get his breathing back under control. He glanced over at Colleen and was relieved to see that she was still sleeping peacefully, having rolled a little away from him sometime during the night.

 

 _"Emotion is weakness. Banish it,"_ Lei Kung said, his voice heavy with disapproval.

 

Danny almost had to bite his tongue to keep from screaming at him. The dream had left him feeling… _raw._ His hands were shaking and his heart was still pounding from the adrenaline. There wouldn’t be any more sleep for him that night, that was for sure. A glance at the alarm clock showed that it was almost 4:30 am, so at least he had gotten a few good hours.

 

Not wanting to disturb Colleen, he carefully rose from the bed and grabbed some clothes before heading into the bathroom to get dressed. Afterwards he splashed some cold water on his face, feeling immensely grateful that there was currently no mirror to reflect his doubtlessly pale and stricken expression back at him.

 

That _dream…._

 

He shuddered. The whole thing had been awful, but… but the last part was the worst. Luke… Luke would _never_ do anything like that. How… how could his mind even _go_ there?

 

“Just a dream,” he muttered to himself. “Just… everything that was brought up yesterday. Just a stupid dream.”

 

 _"Are you so sure, brother?"_ Davos’ voice sneered. " _How do you know your corrupting influence isn’t at work on him? On the others?"_

 

“That’s not true,” Danny said, hating how shaky his voice sounded. “It didn’t happen that way then and he wouldn’t do it now.”

 

 _"Ah, but you weren’t_ **_alone_ ** _then, were you? Who knows what might have happened if the old man hadn’t been around, hmm?"_ Davos laughed.

 

“Shut up!” Danny hissed, and then looked guiltily towards the closed bedroom door.

 

He slipped quietly out to the kitchen, where he’d be less likely to disturb the others. He should make some coffee, he decided. Coffee and then he would run through his meditations. The dream would dissipate and everything would be fine.

 

 _"You think so? You think anything will ever be fine?"_ Davos sneered, now standing next to him.

 

“Leave me alone,” Danny moaned, turning away, only to find Davos had simply reappeared right in front of him. He backed up a couple of steps instinctively, but there was no escaping what was in his head.

 

 _"They have you convinced you’re a tragic little victim, don’t they?"_ Davos said, his face dark with anger. " _You know I was the only one who cared about you. You know how it_ **_really_ ** _was. I always looked out for you, was always your friend even when others turned away."_

 

“No,” Danny said, shaking his head in denial. “You… you took advantage of me. Manipulated me the whole time. They… they said so. They wouldn’t _lie._ ”

 

 _"The same people who knocked you out and held you as their prisoner? You’re going to trust them over_ **_me_** _, who was your brother for fifteen years?"_ Davos said scornfully. Then his voice shifted, taking on a more cloying tone. " _Who can you trust more than family?"_

 

Danny blinked at him helplessly. He… he really _didn’t_ want to believe that Davos had never cared about him. The very thought made something vital deep down inside of him feel like it was going to break. But the others had seemed so _sure._ And Davos was in New York, stirring up trouble with Joy, with the others, with _Gao…_ things he never would have imagined him capable of. They _could_ be right about him, about what had been motivating him all along.

 

But… the others didn’t _know_ Davos, not like he did. It wasn’t _impossible_ that they were wrong. Was it?

 

 _I need to talk to him myself,_ Danny thought. _Then I’ll know what the truth is._

 

Yes, that was what he had to do. He’d been wanting to talk to Davos himself since Joy had shown up with her bombshell a few days ago, after all. No more hearsay or other people’s thoughts or opinions. He _needed_ to confront Davos and find out once and for all what the truth was. His mind would never stop circling around it otherwise.

 

 _"Your babysitters will never let you do that,"_ Davos sneered.

 

He was right, Danny realized. He could well imagine the response he’d get if he suggested it to the others. He could insist that it was his choice, that he _needed_ to do it, but….

 

 _"But they’ll stop you anyway. And you know very well how far they’d be willing to go to do so,"_ Davos laughed.

 

Icy fear crept up Danny’s spine. No… they _wouldn’t_ ….

 

Would they?

 

No, he couldn’t risk it. Not… not on the tails of that dream. Being restrained, being helpless… there was no way he could cope with that just then. Whatever was left of his mind would completely break. He’d have to slip away and do it on his own.

 

Danny realized that he’d never have a better chance than at that very moment, with the others all still asleep. But he didn’t even know where Davos _was._ The others had mentioned that they had discovered where he was staying, but he didn’t recall them mentioning where. Could he… check one of their phones, maybe?

 

The thought was accompanied by a wave of guilt. That would definitely be an invasion of privacy. But perhaps desperate times called for desperate measures, and the more it lingered the more the thought was taking on an almost manic urgency. He _needed_ to talk to Davos. It was the only way to get the answers he needed, the only way to know for _sure._

 

Claire seemed to have been the one coordinating everything, so he should check hers first. Hopefully she didn’t have it password-locked, and he would apologize profusely to her the next time he saw her. He glanced around the kitchen and living room with a half-hearted hope that she’d left it when they’d gone to bed, but he didn’t see it, so he went down the hall to the first guest bedroom. His heart pounding in his chest, he eased the door open and saw two forms on the bed in the dim light coming through the window, Luke’s large frame easily distinguishable from Claire’s. Their breathing was deep and even. Hardly able to believe that he was doing it, Danny crept forward and picked the phone up from the end table on Claire’s side.

 

It wasn’t locked, and the exchange between her and Jessica a couple of nights before was easy to locate.

 

The Lotte New York Palace.

 

Now armed with a destination, Danny quickly slipped back out of the room. The lack of a room number or the early hour didn’t seem important to his singularly-focused mind. He had to see Davos _now._ He did, however, pause in the kitchen after stuffing his own phone and his wallet in his pockets at the thought of Colleen.

 

He couldn’t just disappear on her.

 

There was a desk he’d never used in the corner of the living room, and he found a pad of paper and some pens in the drawer. He chewed his bottom lip for a moment, not sure how to explain and knowing she wouldn’t be happy, but he _had_ to go.

 

_Colleen,_

 

_I know you must be really upset right now, and I’m sorry, I really am. But I need to talk to Davos myself or I’ll never stop wondering. I know you and the others would have tried to stop me, which is why I had to go alone. I’m sorry, but I have to do this._

 

_I’ll be back soon, I promise._

 

_Love,_

_Danny_

 

With one last look around, feeling oddly like a thief in the night in his own penthouse, he left the note on the island counter and left.

 

~~~

 

Rand Enterprises had drivers on call 24/7 but Danny didn’t want to bother anyone so early so he hailed a cab once he reached the street. The Lotte was not actually all that far from his building and under different circumstances he might have opted to walk, but his nerves were singing with the gravity of what he’d just done, and he wanted a few moments to try to pull himself together.

 

It wouldn’t just be Colleen who was upset with him, he knew. The others would be, too. He’d agreed to their ‘buddy system’ and not even a full day later, here he was sneaking off. Guilt churned in his stomach. It was only the force of his conviction that he _needed_ to speak to Davos and his certainty that they would try to stop him that kept him from turning back.

 

It was not long before the cab pulled up in front of the Lotte. Danny gave the driver a fifty dollar bill and told him to keep the change, making the man’s jaw drop open in shock. Once inside the opulent lobby, which was nearly deserted at that hour, Danny found himself at a loss. Would they tell him Davos’ room number if he asked at the front desk? Except he didn’t know what name Davos would be using. Maybe if he showed them the picture from the security footage, the one he’d sent to Jessica? He should still have it on his phone. He was just reaching into his pocket to check when a voice spoke up behind him.

 

“Young Mr. Rand. It’s so nice to see you again,” Gao said. Danny spun around, his eyes widening at the sight of Madam Gao, flanked by two hulking guards.

 

“Do you… just hang around in this lobby all the time now?” he found himself asking, thinking of Jessica and Matt’s encounter with her. Gao’s eyes crinkled in amusement.

 

“Don’t be foolish, Mr. Rand. I am here to assist you. There is some information you need, yes?” she said. Danny blinked at her in confusion.

 

“But… how did you know?” he asked. It had probably been no more than thirty or forty minutes since he’d even decided to come, less since he’d left the penthouse. Was she… having his building watched, maybe? Still, she must have been staying in the Lotte herself, or somewhere very close by, to have been able to get there so quickly.

 

“I have my ways,” she said with an enigmatic smile. “You wish to see your friend Davos. I can tell you where he is.”

 

“In exchange for what?” Danny asked, his eyes narrowing. “Why are you even involved with… all this?” he added, flushing a little as he remembered what Gao had said to Jessica and Matt about what she believed to be Davos’ motivations.

 

“You are familiar with the story of the child touched by fire, yes? We discussed it before.” Gao asked.

 

“Of course,” Danny replied, puzzled by this apparent non sequitur. “It’s a famous legend. Everyone knows it.”

 

“It’s not just a story or a legend, Mr. Rand. It’s a prophecy,” she said. “One I have a keen interest in.”

 

“What does that have to do with this?” Danny asked, feeling completely lost.

 

“Suite 1217, Mr. Rand,” Gao said, smiling serenely. “That is where you will find your good friend Davos.” And with that she turned and she and her guards started walking towards the lobby doors. Danny stared after her for a moment, dumbfounded.

 

“Wait!” he called, and she paused, looking back at him. “E-Elektra. Is she…?” Gao may not be trustworthy, but _any_ information she might give was better than nothing, and might help ease Matt’s mind, or at least give the team a starting place to try to find out more. But Gao simply smiled wider and then continued on her way.

 

Danny cursed under his breath, running a hand through his hair in frustration. Part of him was tempted to go after her, to try to make her talk, but that manic urgency was still singing under his skin.

 

And now he had a room number.

 

He headed over to the bank of elevators, his hand trembling a little as he pushed the button. This was it. He was going to see Davos for the first time since their disastrous parting of the ways so many months ago. He would finally get to ask him _why._ Why had he approached Joy? Why had he gone to the dojo seemingly just to antagonize the others? Why was he doing _any_ of this? Did… did he really hate Danny that much for leaving K’un Lun, for leaving _him?_

 

Or… or had he never really cared about him at all, as the others believed?

 

As he stepped into the elevator and jabbed the button for the twelfth floor, he couldn’t help but wonder if maybe this had been a terrible idea after all, if he should just turn around and go back. Maybe the others wouldn’t even be awake yet, and he could tear up the note and pretend none of this had happened. But a certain surreal, almost dream-like sense of inevitability had settled over his mind.

 

There was no turning back. He _had_ to do this.

 

Anticipation, unease, and fear all clambered for dominance as he watched the numbers on the display rise. On the twelfth floor he followed the signs and soon found himself standing outside of room 1217, staring at the door for a long moment, his heart in his throat. It was incredibly unsettling that he had no idea what to expect from Davos, who had been the closest person in the world to him for fifteen years.

 

 _"A warrior does not show fear or hesitation,"_ Lei Kung’s voice said scornfully.

 

Danny knocked on the door.

 

After several long moments had passed Danny began to wonder if he’d done it all for nothing, if Davos would be asleep or maybe not even there at all. Perhaps Gao had lied to him, and this wasn’t even his room.

 

But then the door was opening, and Davos was standing there, dressed in loose, casual clothing, as if Danny had interrupted him doing his meditations. They stared at each other for a seemingly endless moment, Davos’ eyes glittering with some unidentifiable emotion, and Danny feeling like his breath had frozen in his chest. He felt a rushing swoop of disorientation - was it _really_ Davos, or was he hallucinating? But then Davos smiled.

 

“Gao told me your companions had tracked me to this hotel,” Davos said. “I wondered how long it would be before you showed up. Come in, Danny.” He stepped back, waving Danny into the room. Danny blinked at him for a moment, thrown for a loop. Though he hadn’t known what to expect, this seemingly casual greeting certainly hadn’t been it.

 

Danny entered the suite and Davos closed the door behind him. He looked around, taking in the opulence of the decor, having a hard time parsing Davos’ presence in such surroundings. It made it feel even more surreal, made him feel all the more disconnected from the memory of the man who’d been his brother. A Davos who enjoyed such luxury instead of sneering at it was a Davos who was a stranger to him.

 

But when he turned back to face him, it was still _Davos_ who stood there, clean-shaven and in unfamiliar clothes, but still Davos, still his brother. It made his heart ache.

 

“It’s… been a long time,” Danny finally said.

 

“Indeed it has,” Davos said. Though he’d made no overt threat and his tone was placid enough, there was a… a _hardness_ to the way he was looking at Danny that made unease stir in the pit of his stomach.

 

“Why… why are you here, Davos?” Danny asked sadly. “What happened after you left? I… I thought you were going back to K’un Lun.”

 

“I _did_ go back,” Davos said, his eyes flashing and a hint of steel coming into his voice. “At least, I tried. I found the pass choked with bodies and the city gone. I had little choice but to make… other arrangements.”

 

Danny flinched a little as the all-too-familiar guilt flooded through him.

 

“I’m so sorry, Davos,” Danny said mournfully. “I _did_ try to go back after, but I was too late. I… I assumed the city was destroyed, but Alexandra, the leader of the Hand, said it wasn’t. I don’t know what she could have meant, though.”

 

“I do,” Davos said, appearing unmoved by Danny’s remorse. “Not many are aware of this but the Elders had access to something to be used only as a last resort, something that would shift K’un Lun’s dimensional axis and force the gate to close, sealing it off from invaders.” Danny stared at him in shock.

 

“What… what could do something like that?” he asked, his eyes wide.

 

“I don’t know,” Davos admitted. “I only even knew that it existed because of my father.”

 

“So the city really wasn’t destroyed,” Danny said in wonder. Though Alexandra’s words had given him a kernel of hope, she hadn’t exactly been a trustworthy source. “Your father, the others… they could be okay.”

 

“They could,” Davos agreed. “Though we are unlikely to ever know for sure,” he added bitterly.

 

“What do you mean?” Danny asked, frowning.

 

“Don’t you understand?” Davos bit out. “The dimensional axis has shifted. _Permanently._ The cycle will have changed. There’s no predicting when the gate might open again. Instead of opening for several months every fifteen years, the new cycle could have it open for five minutes every one hundred years. Or for a week every two years, or a month every fifty… anything is possible. So no, K’un Lun may not be destroyed, but we may very well have been cut off from it forever. Even if I were to camp out at the foot of the pass there’s no guarantee it would open in my lifetime. I will likely never see my home, my _father_ again. And it wouldn’t have been necessary if you hadn’t abandoned your duty, if you hadn’t _stolen_ our most powerful weapon.”

 

“I’m… I’m _sorry,_ ” Danny said miserably. “I… I _had_ to-”

 

“I’m not interested in hearing your excuses again,” Davos snarled, turning away. He stalked over to the window and stood gazing out at the steadily lightening dawn sky. His shoulders slowly rose and fell as he took deep, centering breaths, as if he was struggling for control. Danny watched him silently, feeling crushed by guilt. It was true, it _was_ his fault. Because of him, Davos had been cut off from his home, trapped in a world he despised. No wonder he was so angry. Perhaps even angry enough to really want him dead. The thought was like a knife in Danny’s heart.

 

“Is… is that why, then?” Danny asked, his voice anguished. “Why you would work with Gao? Why you approached Joy the way you did? You… you really want to kill me?”

 

Davos turned back to face him. All traces of his anger were gone, though something dark lingered in his eyes as he stared at Danny silently for a long moment. Then he suddenly smiled, though there was a plastic quality to it that chilled Danny’s blood.

 

“After discovering what had happened to K’un Lun, I returned to America, to this forsaken cesspit of a city. It was where _you_ were after all,” Davos said conversationally, clasping his hands behind his back and strolling back towards Danny, who watched him approach warily. “Except that you _weren’t_ here. Off with your girlfriend hunting the Hand, as I understand it. Adrift with no other purpose, my anger and grief consumed me, filling me with thoughts of revenge. When Gao approached me, offering funds and resources, I leapt at the opportunity, without a care as to the source. All I could think of was that maybe I wouldn’t be so angry anymore if you were dead.”

 

Hearing it confirmed from Davos’ own lips was… was _devastating_. Danny staggered back a little, reaching out to put a hand on the wall for support as emotion overwhelmed him.

 

“So you really did mean it, then, when you talked to Joy,” Danny said dully. “You really wanted to convince her to kill me. Really would have helped her to do it if she’d agreed.”

 

“Perhaps I did,” Davos said, still smiling. “I let my anger get the best of me. Father would have been terribly disappointed. Emotions should not cloud our actions. But then, Father knew very well how you could draw the worst out of me, didn’t he?”

 

Danny flinched back as if he’d been struck. He hadn’t expected Davos to be the one to broach that particular subject, and certainly not in such an accusatory but still somehow cavalier way.

 

“That… that wasn’t my fault,” he said quietly.

 

“Who else’s would it be?” Davos snapped, his eyes flashing angrily. But then he seemed to catch himself, and in the next moment he was smiling that plastic smile again, though something almost manic lingered in his eyes. The speed at which his emotions were flipping back and forth was… alarming.

 

 _"You’re one to talk,"_ Davos’ voice said mockingly, and Danny flinched again. Then he shook his head in desperate denial, trying to clear it. The last thing he needed was for real Davos and imaginary Davos to start competing for his attention.

 

“You’re not going to start getting whiny about _that_ again are you? After all this time?” Davos asked, his smile twisting into a smirk.

 

“I… I never wanted to. You made me,” Danny said, feeling his conviction start to slip away in the face of Davos’ easy confidence, just as it always had when they were younger.

 

“I never made you do anything you didn’t want to,” Davos said intently, stepping even closer and raising his hand up to stroke Danny’s cheek. Danny blinked in shock. It was a strangely affectionate gesture and Davos had never been one for affection.

 

“The others… my… my friends, they said… they said you manipulated me,” Danny said weakly. “That you took advantage. That you _told_ them so when you went to the dojo.”

 

“Those fools were too easy to bait. It was amusing,” Davos said, his eyes now roving over Danny with an almost feverish glint in his eyes. “Don’t you remember all we’ve shared, Danny? Everything we’ve been through together over the years? Training, tournaments, the bonds of friendship and brotherhood that we forged?”

 

“Of… of course, I do,” Danny said. Davos’ hand had moved to stroke down over Danny’s arm, and there was a faraway look on his face.

 

“I know you liked to kick up a fuss sometimes, but you can’t pretend you didn’t enjoy it,” Davos said. “You may have fooled those idiot friends of yours, played the innocent victim with them, but you can’t fool me. I know you too well, Danny. I know you better than _anyone._ Because I’m your brother _._ You’re _mine._ ” His eyes blazed with manic intensity and his grip on Danny’s arm suddenly tightened to the point of being painful.

 

 _"Bury your mother. Bury your father. You belong to me and to me alone,"_ Lei Kung’s voice said, a maxim that he had often repeated to Danny over the years.

 

Danny blinked dazedly. Things suddenly felt like they were getting out of control, but he couldn’t quite seem to pull his thoughts together over the static that was starting to crawl over his mind.

 

“I… I don’t belong to anyone,” he said weakly, moving to pull his arm away only to find the wall right behind him. Davos’ lips pulled back almost into a snarl.

 

“You’re _MINE!_ ” he barked, grabbing Danny with both hands and yanking him forward only to slam him back again. Danny saw stars as his head hit the wall. When he was able to focus again he saw that Davos was panting harshly, seemingly trying to calm himself. His hands gradually loosened their grip on Danny’s arms and started to rub soothingly instead, as if in apology.

 

“It’s not too late, Danny,” Davos said intensely, his eyes blazing as he stared into Danny’s stunned face. “I thought I wanted you dead, but I don’t think it’s too late for you, not yet. Leave those fools you’ve taken up with behind and join me, Danny. They’ll never understand you the way I do. They’ll never _care_ about you the way I do. You belong at my side. Together we can destroy Gao and whatever else remains of the Hand. Stay with me, Danny, and do as I say, and you can redeem yourself for betraying K’un Lun, for betraying _me.”_

 

Danny stared in shock at the wild, almost unhinged expression on Davos’ face. Davos, who’d certainly had his outbursts of anger before, but who had never seemed so frenzied, so out of control.

 

 _"This is your doing,"_ Lei Kung’s voice said somberly. " _You and your influence have driven my son to this."_

 

There was at least some truth to what the others had suggested, Danny realized. Whatever had motivated his actions in the beginning, whether it had always been manipulation or not, Davos had clearly developed some kind of… of possessive obsession with him. There was a… a _hunger_ plain to see on Davos’ face that made Danny’s skin crawl. He had no doubt as to the nature of the relationship that Davos was proposing. And maybe that possessiveness had been there a long time, but now some combination of his anger and grief over the loss of K’un Lun seemed to be driving him over the edge.

 

 _This really is my fault,_ Danny thought, his heart breaking.

 

“I… I can’t do that, Davos,” he said carefully. His brain still felt muddled and he struggled to find the right words. “I can’t abandon Colleen, or my… my team. I made a promise to them. And… and I don’t _want_ to be with you, not the way you want. I’m sorry, but I never have. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t still my brother, Davos. We can _help_ you, if you’ll let us.”

 

Davos stared at him for a moment longer and then let out an inarticulate snarl of rage, one hand shooting up to wrap around Danny’s throat, pushing back to hold his head pinned against the wall. Danny gasped in surprise. The grip was tight and threatening, almost but not quite fully cutting off his air.

 

“You can’t abandon them?” Davos hissed, his eyes wild. “When you were so quick to abandon _me_? How _dare_ you?!” He gave Danny a hard little shake, making the room seem to swim around him alarmingly, and then he leaned in closer, putting his whole weight against him and pinning him fully to the wall. Their faces were mere centimetres apart. “I could kill you right now. I could snap your neck like a twig.” Davos’ fingers tightened their grip even more. Danny stared back into that unhinged gaze and a realization dawned on him like an epiphany.

 

“You could,” Danny rasped through his restricted airway, a peculiar calmness settling over his mind. “But you won’t.”

 

Davos glared at him, his eyes ablaze with fury, his shoulders shaking from the force of his rage. Danny stared back placidly. And then with a disgusted hiss Davos gave Danny’s throat one last vicious squeeze before releasing him and turning to stalk away a few paces.

 

“No. I won’t,” he spit out.

 

Danny slumped against the wall and watched him warily, rubbing his abused throat and trying to catch his breath. He’d likely have bruises later if he didn’t heal them. He couldn’t quite explain the absolute certainty that he felt, but something in Davos’ eyes had confirmed to him something that he’d told Colleen days ago - that even if Davos _thought_ he wanted to kill him, when it came to actually dealing the killing blow he wouldn’t be able to do it.

 

There was a sudden buzzing vibration from his pocket, causing him to jump. Someone was calling his phone. He reached into his pocket and pulled it out.

 

Colleen.

 

He stared down at her name on the caller ID, guilt washing through him. And then the phone was snatched from his hand, and he looked up in surprise at Davos’ angry face.

 

“We’re not done here,” Davos growled.

 

TBC

 


	18. Claire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the kudos and comments! They are very much appreciated, as always.
> 
> This chapter is a bit on the shorter side, but the last one was longer than usual, so it all evens out in the end, right? XD

Claire blinked awake reluctantly to the sound of Luke’s voice. His hand was on her shoulder, gently but persistently shaking her.

 

“C’mon, Claire, you need to get up, we have a BIG problem,” he was saying.

 

“No, no problems,” she muttered, trying to pull the blankets over her head to block out the light from the lamp he’d turned on. “Only sleeping.”

 

“BIG problem,” Luke repeated seriously. “Danny’s AWOL. Again.”

 

“ _What?_ ” Claire exclaimed, shooting up into a sitting position to stare at him. Luke held up a piece of notepaper, his face grim.

 

“He left a note. Said he needed to go speak with Davos himself, but knew we’d try to stop him,” Luke said. “Colleen’s still asleep, so he must have snuck out alone.”

 

Claire snatched the note and read it over quickly, her heart sinking.

 

“But… does he even know where Davos is?” she asked.

 

“He knows _we_ know. I can’t honestly remember if the Lotte was mentioned by name in front of him or not, though,” Luke said, frowning.

 

“Well, he wouldn’t have left without a destination. Unless…,” Claire’s voice trailed off.

 

“Unless he’s gone completely off the rails?” Luke suggested drily.

 

“Don’t even joke,” Claire muttered, climbing out of bed and grabbing the clothes she’d been wearing the day before.

 

“Trust me, I’m not laughing,” Luke said. “But… it’s possible, right?”

 

“Yeah,” Claire admitted reluctantly as she hurriedly got dressed. “His mental state is so volatile right now. There’s no telling how clearly - or _not_ clearly - he might have been thinking when he woke up. He could be okay and thinking more or less rationally… but it’s certainly not impossible that he’s not in his right mind at all, especially after all the emotional stress he went through yesterday. Damn. We… we should have anticipated something like this.”

 

“And done what? Handcuffed him to the bed?” Luke asked with a raised eyebrow.

 

“Of course not,” Claire said, scowling. She looked at the note again. “That’s the thing, isn’t it? He’s not wrong. I can’t imagine we ever would have agreed if he’d talked to us about it. And if he’d insisted or tried to go anyway… what could we have done then? Would… would we have been right to try to stop him?”

 

“I don’t know,” Luke said grimly. “All I can think about is what happened before, and how in the end it didn’t matter who was right or wrong or who lost their temper. _We_ crossed a line when we tied him up and held him prisoner against his will. It’s a miracle he ever trusted us again, and if we ever have a repeat of something like that, I’d say that trust would likely be gone forever.” He sighed, rubbing his hands over his face wearily. “All that being said, though, I can’t honestly say I might not have sat on him to stop him from going to see that bastard face-to-face, if it had come down to that. Especially now when everything’s so… so _fresh_ from the discussion yesterday.”

 

“It’s going to be one hell of a fine balancing act, trying to respect his wishes but also looking out for his best interests when he’s not quite capable of looking out for them himself,” Claire said with a sigh. “One crisis at a time. Any idea how long he’s been gone?”

 

“No. I just woke up myself and went out to see if I could get some coffee going, that’s when I found the note. It can’t have been too long, though, right? He wouldn’t have just taken off in the middle of the night,” Luke said, but she could hear the doubt in his voice. If Danny hadn’t been in a clear state of mind, there was no telling what he might have done. Claire grabbed her phone from the end table to check the time and saw that her text conversation with Jessica was open, scrolled back to where they were discussing the Lotte. She raised her eyebrows.

 

“He must have come in here and checked my phone,” she said, showing Luke. “So he knew to go to the Lotte. And he’s thinking clearly enough to have played detective, at least.”

 

“I’m not actually sure if that makes me feel better or not,” Luke remarked.

 

“Me, either,” Claire said. “If he’d run off blind it’d probably be harder to track him down, but he’d also be pretty unlikely to actually find Davos. I guess the only thing to do is to head to the Lotte. There’s still no room number so maybe if he didn’t leave that long ago we can still find him before he can track Davos down.”

 

“Should we call the others?” Luke asked.

 

Claire chewed her bottom lip thoughtfully for a moment. It was barely six am, so Jessica was almost definitely asleep. Matt likely was, too, especially if he’d gone out patrolling after his dinner. They didn’t know the exact nature of the situation, so it couldn’t be said to be an outright emergency. But it certainly had the _potential_ to be an emergency. They still didn’t know just what Davos’ true intentions were and how much of an actual physical threat he was to Danny. If he really did intend to harm him, and Danny confronted him while in the midst of a fragile emotional state… things could go very badly, very quickly.

 

“Yeah, we should call them,” Claire said gravely. “And we’ll have to wake Colleen, too.”

 

“Colleen’s awake,” a sleep-muddled voice said from the bedroom doorway. Colleen was standing there in the cotton pants and tank top she had slept in, looking at them with bleary eyes. “What’s going on? Where’s Danny?”

 

Claire and Luke stared at her for a moment before exchanging wary looks. Despite her just-wakened state, Colleen quickly picked up on the tense exchange, her gaze sharpening.

 

“What’s going on?” she demanded, her voice rising. “Where’s Danny?” Without waiting for an answer she bolted from the room, quickly checking the rest of the penthouse. Claire and Luke mutely followed her out to the living room. Colleen turned back to them, her eyes frantic as it was now clear that Danny wasn’t there. “ _Where is he?_ ” she cried. Claire handed her the note. Her eyes scanned over it quickly and then she blinked at it for a moment before reading it again. When she was done her hands were shaking.

 

“Goddamnit, Danny,” she muttered, wiping angrily at the few tears that had leaked from her eyes. “Does… does he know Davos is staying at the Lotte?” she asked as she visibly tried to compose herself.

 

“Yeah, it looks like he got the info from my phone,” Claire confirmed.

 

“How much of a head start?” Colleen asked. Despite her efforts to calm herself Claire could see that she was trembling a little and her heart went out to her.

 

“We’re not sure,” Luke said. “But we’re going to head there right away. Hopefully the lack of room number will have slowed him down and we can find him and convince him to come home before he even finds Davos.” Colleen nodded shakily.

 

“Have either of you tried to call him?” she asked. No sooner had she finished speaking than there was the trilling noise of a ring tone from the master bedroom. “That’s mine! Maybe it’s him!” she said, darting down the hallway. But when she reappeared a moment later, the phone pressed to her ear, it was apparent that whoever she was speaking to, it wasn’t Danny.

 

“How did you get this number?” she was asking with a scowl. When she reached the island counter she dropped the phone down and hit the speaker button.

 

“Acquiring information in this so-called ‘digital age’ is so easy it is almost a joke,” an airy, accented voice replied, dripping with amusement.

 

Gao.

 

Claire’s eyes widened and Luke scowled. Gao calling Colleen out of nowhere definitely couldn’t mean anything good, especially not with the timing.

 

“Why are you calling me?” Colleen demanded, frowning down at the phone.

 

“I have some time sensitive information about young Mr. Rand that might be of some interest to you,” Gao replied. “And to Ms. Temple and Mr. Cage, who are there with you, yes?” All three of them tensed, exchanging alarmed looks.

 

“We’re here,” Claire confirmed. “What the hell do you know about Danny?”

 

“I saw Mr. Rand at the Lotte this morning, looking like a little lost lamb,” Gao said, her voice full of false sympathy and concern that was almost ridiculously transparent. Claire grit her teeth, and she could see Colleen and Luke struggling to contain their anger as well. “He was looking for his dear childhood friend, Davos. And who would I be, to stand in the way of such a momentous reunion? So naturally I told him Davos’ suite number.” Claire bit back a groan, exchanging a dismayed look with Luke. So much for their hope that they could find Danny before he found Davos.

 

“Why… why would you do that?” Colleen asked angrily. “Aren’t you _working_ with that asshole?”

 

“I have been providing him with some assistance, yes,” Gao said. “And one might consider sending the object of his obsession straight into his _loving_ arms a kind of assistance, wouldn’t you agree?” They all stared at the phone for a moment, appalled at her audacity.

 

“You… you _bitch!_ ” Colleen screamed, slamming her fist down on the counter.

 

“That was a little while ago now and I think they’ve probably had enough time to get... _reacquainted,_ ” Gao continued, sounding unconcerned by Colleen’s outburst. If anything, she seemed even more amused. Almost _gleeful,_ actually. Claire’s stomach turned. “In fact, I suspect that things may turn rather... _volatile_ soon, if no one intervenes. You know how young men can get when their _passions_ are riled.”

 

“What the hell are you implying?” Luke demanded.

 

“Why, I’m not _implying_ anything, Mr. Cage,” Gao said with mock innocence.

 

“Where are they?” Colleen ground out, her face flushed with anger.

 

“Are you sure you want to know?” Gao said unctuously. “Poor Mr. Rand seemed so out of sorts this morning, so lost and alone. Not at all like someone who’s getting the care and support he needs from his companions. Perhaps he’d be better off staying with his dear childhood friend. _He_ certainly knows how to take care of him.”

 

“Don’t you _dare_ pretend to care about Danny’s best interests,” Claire hissed. Though she knew Gao was goading them, the comment hadn’t helped the guilt she was feeling for having let Danny slip away. “Why… why the _hell_ are you messing with him like this? Why do you _care?_ ”

 

“The Iron Fist has always been of great interest to me,” Gao replied. “And Danny Rand is a particularly special Iron Fist.”

 

“What the hell do you mean by that?” Colleen demanded.

 

“Suite 1217. You know where. I’d hurry if I were you,” Gao said. And with that dire pronouncement she was gone. The three of them stared at the silent phone for a moment.

 

“Son of a bitch,” Colleen said, grabbing the phone with trembling hands and hitting the speed dial for Danny. Luke and Claire watched her with bated breath. “There’s no answer. Fuck!” She dropped the phone back on the counter and ran her hands through her hair, looking ready to fly apart. Claire grabbed hold of her shoulders and made her meet her eyes.

 

“Hey, now is not the time to freak out,” Claire said. “Get dressed. We’ll call the others. Then we’ll get there as fast as we can. Okay?” Colleen nodded, turning and hurrying back down the hallway. When Claire turned back to Luke he’d already pulled out his own phone.

 

“I got Matt, you call Jessica,” he said.

 

“You just don’t want to deal with waking Jessica up at six am,” Claire muttered, pulling up Jessica’s number on her phone. Luke made a face that was the picture of innocence before turning away as he brought his phone up to his ear.

 

Claire took a deep breath as she dialled, hoping Jessica kept her phone close by and refrained from muting it at night. She supposed that was something they’d have to discuss as a team at some point - making sure they were available for emergencies. Her heart pounded as she waited. Every minute that passed was a minute they might not have. Did Gao actually have some concrete knowledge that something was going to happen, or was she just fucking with them? In any case, they couldn’t afford to risk it.

 

“What?” a very disgruntled Jessica finally barked over the phone.

 

“Danny snuck out while we were all still asleep to go confront Davos by himself. Gao found him at the Lotte and told him Davos’ room number, and she just called _us_ to tell us we should hurry over there because things are going to get, as she put it, volatile,” Claire said. No point in beating around the bush. There was an extended silence. She was about to ask Jessica if she was still there when there was an impressive explosion of cursing.

 

“You know, looking after that kid is starting to feel like trying to wrangle a kitten,” Jessica griped after she’d finished her tirade. Claire could hear fumbling movement in the background and guessed she was getting out of bed. “Fuck, what the hell is he thinking? Forget it, he’s _not_ thinking, that’s the problem. We’re all heading for the Lotte, then?”

 

Colleen reappeared, fully dressed and katana slung over her shoulder. She grabbed her phone off the counter and gestured impatiently towards the door. Claire nodded and the three of them headed out for the elevator, she and Luke still on their phones.

 

“Yeah, suite 1217 according to Gao,” Claire said.

 

“What the hell is this Gao character’s play here? She’s supposed to be working with that bastard but has no problem giving out info about him?” Jessica asked. “And now she what, basically sends Danny to see him but then follows that up by sending _us_ after _him_? Who’s side is she on?”

 

“Her own, I have no doubt,” Claire said darkly. “She said some cryptic shit about the Iron Fist and Danny being special, but who the hell knows why she’s really doing any of this. All I _do_ know is that it can’t mean anything good.”

 

“Well, she’s definitely getting the blame for my having to be up at this God-forsaken hour,” Jessica said. “See you soon.”

 

“Jessica’s on her way,” Claire reported to the others as she pocketed her phone.

 

“Matt, too,” Luke said. “Though we’re a lot closer so I’m sure we’ll get there before either of them.”

 

Once they were outside it didn’t take long to catch a cab as the morning rush was just starting to build. Colleen fidgeted nervously with the strap on her katana as they all sat jammed into the backseat. Claire reached over to rub her knee comfortingly.

 

“It’s going to be okay,” she said.

 

“You don’t know that,” Colleen said. She grabbed her phone from her pocket, trying Danny’s number again. “It… it went straight to voicemail this time,” she said, her voice shaking a little. Claire and Luke exchanged grim looks as Colleen shoved the phone back in her pocket and covered her face with her hands.

 

“Everything could be fine. He might have just turned it off,” Luke said, though the worry in his own voice was obvious. “There might not even be any danger. Gao could be messing with us,” he added.

 

“If Danny and Davos are in the same room together, _something_ bad is going to happen,” Colleen said, her voice thick with emotion. “How could it not, after everything we talked about yesterday?”

 

“But Danny is stronger than him, right?” Luke asked, frowning. “Danny earned the Iron Fist over him, and Davos doesn’t have any special powers of his own. If worse came to worse and they fought, Danny could beat him, couldn’t he?”

 

“Danny’s stronger as long as he’s thinking straight,” Colleen said. “As long as he doesn’t get distracted, as long as he doesn’t let sentiment get the better of him, as long as Davos isn’t using any dirty tricks….” Claire could see that she was really working herself up and she shifted so she could put her arm around her shoulders despite how awkward it was in the close quarters.

 

“Honey, you aren’t doing yourself or Danny any favours, thinking like that,” she said softly. “We’ll be there really soon, and whatever is happening, we’ll deal with it. Together. Okay?”

 

“Yeah,” Colleen said, nodding sharply. She took a few slow, deep breaths. “I just… I just wish he hadn’t done this. I mean, I _do_ understand why he wanted to talk to him. It’s… it’s easy for us to see Davos as the villain, but he was Danny’s _friend._ The _only_ friend he had for over half his life. I can’t even imagine how hard it is for him, trying to process all this. But… to sneak off without telling us, with everything that’s going on?”

 

“He was afraid we’d stop him from going,” Luke said sadly. “And we did actually set a precedent to give him reason to be wary of that….”

 

“We?” Claire asked archly.

 

“Present company excluded,” Luke amended.

 

“He can’t possibly think I would ever be party to something like that,” Colleen said.

 

“He’s scared, hon,” Claire said softly. “Scared and confused and feeling overwhelmed, I would say. Of course he knows you’d never do that, not when he’s thinking clearly.”

 

“I doubt it was you he was really worried about, anyway,” Luke said, looking guilty.

 

“Well, I’m going to give him a piece of my mind when we find him, that’s for sure,” Colleen said firmly. “He’d… he’d better be okay,” she added, her voice breaking a little. Claire gave her shoulder another reassuring squeeze.

 

The cab pulled up in front of the Lotte and Claire threw some money at the driver. No sooner had they all stepped out onto the sidewalk than there was a booming explosion of glass far over their heads. People screamed and Luke grabbed both of them, sheltering them as best he could with his larger frame as they ducked under the lobby door overhang. As soon as it was over Claire looked around quickly, checking to see if anyone was injured. There was glass and other debris littered over the sidewalk and the cars parked along the curb, but luckily it appeared that no one was seriously hurt. If it had happened even just a little later, when the morning rush was in full swing and the sidewalk crowded with pedestrians, it likely would have been a different story.

 

“Was that what I think it was?” Luke asked, brushing glass splinters off his hoodie. They could hear the faintly muted sound of the fire alarm going off inside, and a few scared-looking people were already exiting out the lobby doors. The three of them stepped out from under the overhang and joined the growing crowd of people looking up and pointing at the damage. A couple of windows had been blown out part way up the building. Small bits of paper and other light debris were still fluttering down like confetti.

 

Claire did a quick count.

 

Twelfth floor.

 

“I believe so,” she said grimly.

 

TBC


	19. Danny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for the lovely comments and the kudos! Very much appreciated, as always!

“We’re not done here,” Davos growled.

 

“It’s Colleen,” Danny said, wincing a little at how raspy his voice sounded. His throat _burned._ “She’s probably worried.”

 

“Why should she be worried?” Davos said scornfully. And then realization dawned on his face. “You didn’t tell anyone you were coming here, did you?”

 

“No,” Danny admitted reluctantly.

 

“So, these new companions that you are so _loyal_ to,” Davos sneered. “You don’t even trust them.”

 

“It… it’s not like that,” Danny said hoarsely.

 

“Then why don’t you tell me what it _is_ like, then?” Davos suggested, his eyes glittering maliciously. “Perhaps it is _they_ who don’t trust _you,_ and that’s why you felt the need to slip away like a thief in the night?” He grinned triumphantly at the stricken look on Danny’s face. “That’s it, isn’t it? You call them your ‘team’, but you had to sneak away because they wouldn’t have _let_ you come. They’re nothing more than your keepers.”

 

“They’re… they’re my friends. They’re just… concerned,” Danny rasped. He rubbed his temple wearily. His skull ached and he was feeling rather light-headed, his thoughts more scattered than ever. Was it because of when Davos had partially cut off his air? Or maybe when his head had hit the wall? He didn’t think it could have had this much of an effect, but then again, he hadn’t exactly been taking the best care of himself the past few days. Lack of food and proper sleep, not to mention the emotional rollercoaster he’d been on, were all taking their toll.

 

“They’re not your _friends,_ ” Davos said contemptuously. “A warrior doesn’t have friends.” He suddenly hurled Danny’s phone at the wall. It struck a couple of feet from Danny’s head, splintering into a dozen pieces and gouging a hole in the wallpaper. Danny ducked to the side instinctively to avoid the debris, a wave of dizziness washing over him at the sudden movement.

 

“W-why did you do that?” he gasped, reaching out to steady himself against the wall. A chill crawled down his spine at how Davos’ words had echoed those he so often heard from his hallucinations.

 

“You’re not going back to them,” Davos declared, staring at Danny with eyes that burned with manic intensity. “You’re staying with me, where you belong.”

 

“I… I told you I can’t do that,” Danny rasped, blinking dazedly at him. Alarm stirred in his gut. This… this felt like it was going to go badly again.

 

“Who said I was giving you a choice?” Davos barked, stepping closer. “If those… those _freaks_ can treat you like a child and tell you what to do, then _I_ certainly can. I have far more right than they do.”

 

“You… you can’t force me to stay with you,” Danny rasped, his heart pounding. Davos arched an eyebrow, his lips curling back in a snarl. His gaze raked up and down Danny’s body as if to convey that he was perfectly aware that Danny wasn’t exactly in peak fighting condition.

 

“You think so?” he asked, his eyes glittering.

 

The alarm Danny was feeling ramped up to full throttle. Davos may not be willing to kill him, but he was certainly willing to _hurt_ him. And with his throat burning so badly it was getting painful to draw air and his head swimming sluggishly, he was feeling less and less confident in his current ability to defend himself. His eyes swung towards the short hallway that led to the door. Davos seemed to take that as his cue.

 

He rushed forward, once again slamming Danny back against the wall. Danny cried out as the same tender spot on the back of his head smacked the wall again, his brain feeling like it was ricocheting around inside his skull. The world went alarmingly grey for a moment but he desperately clung to consciousness. He attempted to strike back at Davos but in his disorientation his aim was off, and the blow lacked the force it should have had, glancing uselessly off Davos’ shoulder. With a snarl of rage, Davos pulled Danny away from the wall and practically threw him in the direction of the sitting area. Further into the suite, further away from the door and escape. Danny staggered and only just managed to stay on his feet.

 

 _“You’re mine and you’re never abandoning me again!”_ Davos screamed, advancing towards him.

 

Gasping for breath and struggling to force his scattered mind to focus, Danny frantically tried to summon his chi, but it had barely even begun to coalesce before Davos was on him, striking him in the face with a vicious blow that sent him crashing to the floor. Danny rolled with the momentum and used it to help propel himself back to his feet just in time to block another punch. Danny quickly tried to go on the offensive, hoping to gain some space to focus and make another attempt to summon the Fist. But though he managed to land a few blows at first, pushing Davos back a little, dizziness dogged his steps and slowed his movements. Another hard blow sent him crashing to the floor again, and the side of his head clipped off the corner of the coffee table on his way down. Hard.

 

Sharp pain exploded through his skull and greyness washed over him in waves. After a moment he tried to struggle up onto his hands and knees, but a vicious kick to his solar plexus sent him falling back on his side, gasping for breath. The thick taste of blood in his mouth was making it even harder to breathe through his abused throat. He reached up and touched his head gingerly, his fingers coming away wet with more blood. The table had opened up a sizable gash and it was bleeding copiously, as head wounds often did.

 

“I suggest you stay down, Danny,” Davos said, the mildness in his voice a sharp counterpoint to the intensity of his gaze as he stood staring down at him.

 

“Is… is this… the plan… then?” Danny rasped out thickly. “Y-you’re… just going… to beat the… the crap out of me… every time… I try to leave? F-forever?” He tried again to summon the Fist but the ringing pain in his skull was driving everything else out, was making it impossible to even begin to focus. Nausea roiled in his stomach.

 

“The _plan_ is to remind you what your place is, Danny,” Davos hissed, leaning down over him, his eyes blazing. “If only I’d been wise enough to make it more clear to you in K’un Lun. Things could have been very different.”

 

“I… I don’t… don’t think… your father… would have… approved,” Danny gasped. Davos snarled, aiming another enraged kick towards him. Expecting it, Danny channelled every ounce of strength he had left into rolling out of the kick’s path while also reaching out to grab Davos’ leg and pull him off balance, sending him crashing to the floor. Then Danny clawed at the coffee table to haul himself first to his knees and then to his feet. The room spun crazily, his vision going blurry, and he hadn’t taken more than two unsteady steps towards the door when Davos crashed into him from behind, sending them both back to the floor. They grappled viciously, and once again Danny managed to land a few blows, bloodying Davos’ mouth and nose, but Davos soon had him pinned beneath him with his weight, one wrist clamped tightly in each hand.

 

“I wouldn’t necessarily have to beat you to make you stay, Danny. As I understand it, all it would take to keep you subdued is the right drugs,” Davos said, grinning down at him. “Yes, I think I would like to have you nice and subdued and _powerless._ Drugs are _amazing_ things.” For a moment all Danny could do was stare up at him in horror, his blood turning to ice in his veins.

 

“H-how did you…?” he rasped, but he supposed it was obvious. Gao seemed to know everything about him, so she must have told Davos about Birch. “You.. you would really… really do that?” Somehow despite everything Davos had already done, he could still shock Danny with just how far he was willing to go.

 

“You _will_ learn your place, Danny, no matter what it takes. And I think I’m going to _enjoy_ teaching you,” Davos snarled. He very deliberately rolled his hips against Danny’s. He… he was _hard._ The fight - or maybe the thought of having Danny completely at his mercy - was _exciting_ him. Panic filled Danny’s mind. With a hoarse, inarticulate cry he bucked and struggled and almost managed to unseat Davos from on top of him. Enraged, Davos released one wrist only to slam his forearm down across Danny’s abused throat, cutting off his air. Staring up into Davos’ fury-filled eyes, Danny saw no sign of reason there, and understood that even if Davos didn’t _intend_ to deliberately kill him, while in the grips of such a blind rage he could easily do so without meaning to. Blackness encroached on his vision.

 

 _"Just let it happen,"_ a voice he didn't recognize whispered. " _Just let go. It would be so_ **_easy_ ** _. And then everything would be over. Finished."_

 

Yes, it could finally all be finished. And it was what he deserved, wasn’t it? K’un Lun may not have been destroyed but it had been changed forever, and that was _his_ fault. His fault that Davos was so lost and grief-stricken. Maybe without Danny around to salt the wound, he could finally heal and move on.

 

Danny let his eyes fall shut.

 

He was greeted by a vision of Colleen’s smiling face, her eyes shining and full of love. Then it was Matt’s crooked, self-deprecating grin. Luke’s kind eyes and easy smile. Claire’s exasperated but fond mother hen expression. Even Jessica’s smirk, so sharp it could cut glass.

 

No, he couldn’t just give up. He had to keep going. For Colleen. For… for all of them.

 

Fighting back the blackness, he opened his eyes and bucked again. There wasn’t much force behind it, but Davos hadn’t been expecting it. His forearm was dislodged enough for Danny to gasp in some desperately needed air. He bucked again, striking out with his free arm and sending Davos tumbling to the side. He’d barely even made it to his knees, though, before he could feel Davos looming up behind him. A punch to the back of his head sent him crashing back to the floor, the blackness finally rushing up to meet him.

 

He didn’t quite fully lose consciousness. At least, not for long. Some vague awareness of hands grabbing him and lifting him faded in and then out again. When the world started to swim back in a more solid sense, he became aware that he was slumped face-first over the coffee table, his knees on the floor. There was a weight pressing up behind him, shoved in uncomfortably between his legs, and hands were reaching around to his front, working at the zipper of his jeans.

 

Then they started to tug his jeans down over his hips.

 

Dozens of visceral memories suddenly assaulted his brain, of Davos’ weight on top of him, of Davos’ breath panting in his ear, of _pain,_ of unimaginable pain that had seemed to cut to the very core of him.

 

 _“_ ** _NO!_ ** _”_

 

He screamed it out with every fibre of his being, throwing his arm back blindly. His fist flared to life without him having consciously summoned any chi, and the world exploded around them as the massive energy of the Fist was expelled.

 

Davos was thrown back and Danny felt himself hit the ground as the shock wave shattered the coffee table beneath him, and then the world greyed out again.

 

Gradually the insistent ringing of a fire alarm started to penetrate his consciousness. Logic seemed to indicate that a fire alarm required some kind of response on his part, but he couldn’t seem to fathom what that response was. He started to drift again, but then there were voices along with the alarm, faint at first but quickly growing louder.

 

“Danny! Oh my God, Danny, where are you?” someone was calling. Colleen? She sounded upset. He twitched, wanting to call out to her but unable to summon the breath.

 

“Here, this is 1217,” Luke’s deep voice said, and then there were people in the room, crying out and rushing to his side.

 

“Oh my God, oh my _God,_ ” Colleen breathed, dropping to her knees beside him.

 

“Jesus, is all this blood his?” Luke asked, horrified.

 

“I-I’m… I’m... okay,” Danny wheezed, trying to get his hands underneath him to push himself up. “Where’s D-Davos?”

 

“Danny, you are **_so_ ** not okay,” Claire said. “Jesus.” Her voice sounded so off that he thought it should probably concern him, but just staying conscious was such a large undertaking he didn’t really have anything left for more.

 

“There’s no sign of Davos, he must have taken off,” Luke informed him, gently gripping his arms and helping him slowly maneuver into a sitting position. The room swam dizzyingly around him but he tried to focus on the others. The three of them were staring at him with faces that were ashen with fear and horror. That was probably bad. Were they upset with him? Trying to pull thoughts together felt like moving through molasses.

 

“Sorry I… I snuck out,” he rasped. It felt like his throat had almost completely closed up. He could barely draw any air. “Please… please don’t… don’t hate me.”

 

“Nobody hates you, Danny,” Colleen said putting her arm around his shoulders to help support him. Tears were pouring down her face. That was probably a bad sign, too.

 

“Why does his voice sound like that?” Luke asked.

 

“It looks like he was strangled,” Claire said worriedly. She crouched in front of him, examining him carefully. “I can see redness and some swelling coming up on his throat. And he has petechiae in and around his eyes.” She paused, her eyes widening in alarm. “Fucking hell, his pupils are unequally dilated.”

 

“What does that mean?” Colleen asked.

 

“It means he has a _very_ serious head injury,” Claire explained as she ran her hands over his head. “There’s a bad gash on the side here, I think a lot of the blood is from that. I feel swelling at the back, too. And Jesus, there’s clear fluid leaking from his ear, which indicates a CSF leak.”

 

“CSF?” Luke asked, frowning.

 

“Cerebral spinal fluid,” Claire explained grimly.

 

“Oh my God,” Colleen said, her grip around Danny’s shoulders tightening.

 

“Am I late to the party?” Jessica asked as she strode into the room. She stopped and surveilled the damage for a moment before her attention landed on where they were huddled around Danny on the floor. Her eyes widened as she took in his condition. “Jesus Christ, what happened?”

 

“He has a really bad head injury,” Luke said, his voice heavy with concern. “Davos is MIA.”

 

“Davos took off in a car with Gao,” Matt reported as he entered the room, clad in his Daredevil costume. “They were just pulling away from the service entrance in the alley when I got here.”

 

“Danny, you need to listen to me, okay?” Claire said intently, ignoring the newcomers. Danny tried his best to focus on her but the blackness was beckoning with renewed vigour. “I know it’ll be hard right now but I need you to try to summon your chi and heal yourself, at least a little. Can you try to do that for me, please?”

 

Danny blinked at her dazedly. His chi. She wanted him to summon his chi. He closed his eyes and tried to concentrate, but it was pointless. The blast he’d let off without even meaning to had completely drained him.

 

“Can’t,” he rasped. “Used it all.” Something akin to panic flitted across Claire’s face. He thought it should probably scare him, but he didn’t have the wherewithal. The others quickly picked up on her alarm, though.

 

“There’s gotta be firefighters and paramedics on the way,” Luke said. “Can’t they help him? Or we could bring him to a hospital ourselves.”

 

“Maybe,” Claire said fretfully. “But….”

 

“But it’s bad enough to be seriously life-threatening and time is of the essence,” Matt said grimly. “Firefighters will be here in about five minutes,” he reported after listening for a moment.

 

Danny’s eyes slipped shut as the voices around him seemed to fade farther and farther away. Everyone was so upset and he couldn’t quite seem to grasp why. If he could just rest for a bit then maybe it would be easier to focus. The blackness was calling and he couldn’t remember why he was fighting it.

 

“Danny!” Claire suddenly said, her voice sharp. A hand lightly smacked his cheek and he blinked his eyes open, gazing at her dazedly. “You’ve got to stay awake for me, Danny, it’s really important.” He nodded slowly. If Claire said it was important, then he would try. But he was so _tired….._ His eyes started to close again. “Danny!” Claire cried, and he forced them open again, but he didn’t think he’d be able to much longer.

 

“Fuck,” Jessica growled, pacing anxiously a few feet away. “There’s got to be something we can do.”

 

“Danny,” Colleen said suddenly, rousing him. He’d been on the verge of drifting away again. “Use mine. Use my chi,” she said urgently.

 

“Would… would that work?” Claire asked hopefully.

 

“The Iron Fist is a unique ability to _channel_ chi,” Colleen said. “No one ever said it was only his own he could use. It’s worth a shot. Try it, Danny, please,” she begged, reaching to grip his hand.

 

Danny stared down at where their hands were joined. Use… use someone else’s chi? Was it really possible? A large part of him just wanted to sink back down into the beckoning darkness, but the pain and fear in her voice, in all of the people around him, wouldn’t let him. He looked up to meet her eyes and was overwhelmed by the love he saw reflected there.

 

“Try, Danny,” she whispered. “Take however much you need.”

 

He closed his eyes and squeezed her hand. Reaching down to the very last dregs of his energy,  he began the familiar process of seeking out chi and for the first time tried pushing his awareness of it outside of himself. He gasped as the whole world seemed to come _alive._ Living, breathing, _vibrant_ chi was everywhere. It was _beautiful._ He nearly got lost in it before someone said his name in alarm, reminding him of his purpose. With effort he focused in on the bright, warm chi of the person who was holding him and started trying to draw some of it into himself. It came rather sluggishly, not moving with the same ease as he could now direct his own after so much practice, but it came.

 

“Sweet Christmas,” Claire said, her voice awed.

 

Danny opened his eyes and saw the warm glow emanating from his and Colleen’s joined hands. Bright pulses of chi traveled up her arm, through their hands, and then down his own arm. Concentrating with great effort through the fog in his brain he directed it upwards, through his damaged, abused throat, and finally into his battered skull, seeking out the hurt places.

 

His eyes fluttered back shut and he gasped in air instinctively as the pain and swelling in his throat eased and he was able to breathe more freely. The grey fog began to lift from his brain and his thoughts finally started to clear, the world settling back into focus. Colleen gasped and he felt her start to slump over. He released her hand, severing the connection, but started to slump over himself a moment later, the strain of the healing and of drawing unfamiliar chi overwhelming him. He felt someone move to prevent them from falling over fully onto the floor and recognized Luke’s solid, comforting bulk.

 

“Jesus, are they okay?” Jessica asked.

 

Danny blinked his eyes open, feeling like he was rising up out of a murky dream. He ached _everywhere,_ but the world felt much clearer. His eyes sought out Colleen, who was slumped against Luke’s other shoulder. She looked like she’d fainted.

 

“Colleen?” he asked frantically, struggling to sit up straight. Luke’s hand on his back supported him. A small wave of dizziness washed over him at the movement, though it was nothing compared to the disorientation he had been feeling before.

 

“She’s fine,” Claire said. She was holding Colleen’s wrist, checking her pulse. “Her heartbeat is steady. I’m sure she’s just exhausted.” She turned to Danny, checking his eyes before once again running her fingers over his throat and head. “Amazing,” she breathed. “Pupils are normal, the CSF leak seems to have stopped. You’re no longer in immediate danger but I’d still say you need to be properly checked out to be sure. Head and throat injuries are nothing to play around with.”

 

“Well, we’re going to have company real soon, so we need to get out of here unless we want to stay and answer some questions,” Matt said. “Do you think we should be getting Danny to a hospital right away, Claire?”

 

“I don’t need a hospital, I can heal myself more once I’ve replenished my own chi,” Danny said. His head was still pounding and there was a lingering, uncomfortable scratchiness in his throat, but he could deal with it. Claire frowned but didn’t argue. He expected that she would likely bring the subject up again later.

 

A breeze caressed Danny’s face and he looked over towards the windows, his eyes widening as he saw that they’d been completely blown out. He looked dazedly around the room, taking in the full extent of the damage for the first time. The furniture was destroyed, everything glass had shattered, and debris had scored deep lines in the walls and floor. It looked like a bomb had gone off.

 

With rapidly rising alarm, he realized that in essence, one had.

 

“Did… did I hurt anyone?” he asked anxiously.

 

“No. Luckily it’s still early, so there weren’t many people around on the street,” Claire said.

 

“But I could have,” he said, his heart pounding as he contemplated the possibilities. “And… and Davos. You said he was gone. I didn’t… I didn’t hurt him?”

 

“Why the _fuck_ are you worried about him?” Jessica snarled. “He nearly fucking _killed_ you.” Danny flinched and she turned away, but not before he saw a guilty look flicker across her face.

 

“He was well enough to be mobile,” Matt interjected. “But he has some minor injuries at least. I smelled blood on him.”

 

“We need to get going,” Luke said. He rose to his feet, lifting Colleen’s limp form in his arms as he did so. Claire took charge of her katana, slinging it over her own shoulder. Danny struggled to rise to his feet as well, and was surprised when Jessica reached out an arm to help him. Once he was standing he realized his fly was undone and his jeans were sliding low on his hips. A rush of panicked disorientation swept over him at the memory of Davos’ weight pressed up so intimately behind him, his hands pulling at his clothes. Davos had almost… he’d been going to… to….

 

His heart pounding frantically in his chest, Danny quickly pushed the thought away before it could bloom into full-out hysteria. He turned away a little to adjust his jeans and zip them up, hoping no one had noticed, but when he turned back they were all staring at him. He flushed and looked away, ashamed.

 

“What the hell happened?” Jessica demanded, her voice icy. “What the hell did that bastard _do_?”

 

“He didn’t do anything,” Danny responded automatically. “He… he _tried,_ ” he amended when they just stared at him incredulously, his skin crawling with mortification.

 

“He fucking _tried?_ Tried _what,_ exactly?” Jessica demanded, her eyes blazing. She looked ready to say more but Matt put a placating hand on her shoulder.

 

“Now’s not the time. Cops and firefighters coming up the east stairwell,” he said. “Let’s head for the west.” Jessica’s lips curled into a snarl but she didn’t pursue it. Luke led the way, still carrying Colleen, and Danny moved to follow but paused as another wave of dizziness washed over him. He may have healed the worst of the damage with Colleen’s help, but he was still injured and he was exhausted down to his bones.

 

Jessica moved to his side, slinging his left arm over her shoulder and wrapping her right arm around his back, taking some of his weight. He blinked at her in surprise.

 

“Come on, I’ve got you,” she said, not meeting his eyes.

 

They made their way out of the suite and towards the west stairwell, Matt bringing up the rear.

 

“Not to be negative or anything, but how are we supposed to get out of here unnoticed?” Luke asked as they started the long trek down twelve flights of stairs. “Danny’s covered in blood and I’m carrying an unconscious girl in my arms. And let’s not forget Daredevil is kind of hard to miss and Jess and I are known to the police, too. Any cops or firefighters around will know we’re connected to the blast.”

 

“Police and firefighters are concentrated around the main entrances on Madison and 51st,” Matt said. “The same service entrance Davos used is facing an alley at the back. I stashed a bag with a change of clothes there on my way up. From there we can get into the parking garage of a building on 50th and slip away.”

 

“Danny’s face is pretty recognizable, and there could be security footage or something. It’s not unlikely that the police might still come looking to question him,” Jessica said.

 

“I need to pay for the damage anyway,” Danny said. Jessica rolled her eyes.

 

“We can deal with the police later,” Matt said. “When you don’t look like such a walking disaster, you’re not accompanied by known vigilantes, and you have your lawyer with you to look out for your best interests. None of us wants the headache of dealing with them right now at a fresh crime scene.” Danny nodded, realizing with a flush of guilt the trouble it could have caused for everyone.

 

“I… I’m sorry, guys,” he said miserably. “I shouldn’t have left like that. I… I fucked everything up and people could have gotten hurt and you guys could have gotten into trouble....”

 

“We’ll talk about it later, Danny,” Claire said tiredly. “Let’s just worry about getting out of here for now.”

 

Danny nodded again, shame flooding through him. If she was mad, if _any_ of them were mad, he only had himself to blame. He’d run off on his own, thinking he knew what was best, and all he’d done was make things worse.

 

And then there was Davos.

 

Danny’s heart clenched painfully in his chest. He hadn’t wanted to believe, hadn’t wanted to think that Davos, his _brother,_ was really capable of coldly manipulating him, of using him the way the others had said he had. He hadn’t wanted to believe that he could be capable of _really_ wanting him dead. Despite all evidence to the contrary, some part of him had still believed that if he could just talk to Davos face-to-face, everything could have been worked out.

 

But it had been there in Davos’ eyes, that want, if not the will to deliberately follow through. Just the memory of it made him shudder a little, causing Jessica to shoot him a questioning look though she remained silent.

 

More frightening still had been the _obsession,_ the _hunger_ that had shown through Davos’ rage. Davos had wanted to… to _keep_ him. Had tried to….

 

Danny’s heart pounded and his blood ran cold as it really, truly started to sink in, what Davos’ intentions had been. What he’d just tried to do.

 

He’d tried to keep him at his side by force. Had threatened to drug him into submission. Had tried to… to _rape_ him.

 

Davos had just tried to rape him.

 

His breath hitched and static seemed to fill his mind. He suddenly couldn’t stop shaking.

 

“Are you okay?” Jessica asked, her voice a strange mix of annoyance and concern. The arm she had wrapped around him tightened a little.

 

“I’m… I’m fine,” he managed to gasp out.

 

“Are you sure?” Matt asked quietly from behind them. Undoubtedly his senses had picked up on Danny’s distress.

 

“I’m fine,” Danny repeated, concentrating on taking a few deep, centering breaths, forcing everything back before it could completely overwhelm him. He couldn’t afford to fall apart now, while they were still in danger of being caught by the police. He’d already fucked things up enough.

 

Though he managed to get his breathing and heart rate back under some semblance of control, he couldn’t quite banish the image of Davos’ manic, hungry gaze from his mind.

 

And _he’d_ been the one to do that to him, to twist him up with grief and pain and obsession. He’d driven an honourable warrior of K’un Lun into madness.

 

He’d failed his team, and he’d failed Davos.

 

 _"You destroy everything you touch,"_ Lei Kung’s somber voice said.

 

Davos had been right all those many months ago. It really would have been better if Chodak and Tashi had never found him.

 

TBC

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm kind of terrible at writing action so I hope it wasn't too awkward. ^^
> 
> Also, I just wanted to note that although the Lotte is a real hotel, I've never been there, so all details beyond its location are pure fiction. And apologies to the NYC authorities for my portrayal of a rather abysmal response time to an explosion. Creative license and all that. XD


	20. Jessica

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I can't believe we are 20 chapters in. I feel like the story's just really getting started. ^^
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who has been supporting this fic!

By the time they descended all twelve flights of stairs and followed Matt’s lead to the service entrance, Danny seemed to have gotten himself more or less under control, but Jessica continued to side-eye him as she helped him along. He’d definitely seemed like he’d been about to freak out for a moment there, and as little as she wanted to deal with such an event, she couldn’t exactly blame him. She felt rather keyed up herself.

 

She couldn’t get the image of his undone jeans out of her mind. Of the way he’d looked away, ashamed, when they had noticed. It filled her head with white noise and stirred some fierce, unnameable emotion in her chest.

 

Claire’s barely subdued panic had been pretty alarming as well. Danny had been injured badly enough that his _life_ had been in imminent danger. The sight of him battered and covered in blood, barely holding on to consciousness as Claire begged him to stay awake was one she was sure she’d never forget.

 

Matt gave the all clear for the alley and they headed outside. Matt retrieved a small duffel from behind a dumpster and then led them deeper into the alley to a door that, true to his word, let them into the parking garage for the neighbouring building. Someday she’d have to ask him just how he’d managed to apparently become so familiar with every nook and cranny in the city. The Lotte wasn’t even close to his usual turf.

 

“Now what?” Jessica asked as Matt ducked behind a van to change into something a little less noticeable. Since they were no longer moving Danny stepped away from her support to check on Colleen, who was still dead to the world in Luke’s arms. “It’s the peak of the morning rush by now. Even if we avoided the cops at the Lotte, we’re still not exactly going to blend into the crowd, what with a blood-covered billionaire and an unconscious girl.”

 

“The Rand car service?” Claire suggested, looking to Danny. “They could pick us up right from here and they could be counted on to be discreet about it, unlike a cabbie.”

 

“They could… but I don’t have my phone,” Danny said, looking embarrassed. “He… he broke it.” Jessica grit her teeth, knowing which ‘he’ he was referring to.

 

“Would Colleen have the number in her phone?” Luke asked. Danny’s face brightened a little.

 

“Yeah, she should,” he replied. He blinked at her as if stymied for a moment until Luke adjusted her position in his arms, making her pocket more accessible to Danny’s reach. Danny gingerly retrieved the phone, a guilty look crossing his face.

 

Jessica had to turn away, her heart clenching in her chest. Jesus. They’d just found the kid with his pants undone after who knew _what_ had happened with that bastard, and there he was looking guilty over digging in his girlfriend’s pocket while she was unconscious, as if he was taking some great liberty. It was downright _painful_ how freaking pure he could be.

 

“Are you okay?” Matt asked quietly, appearing at her side dressed in street clothes, the duffel that now contained the Daredevil suit slung over his shoulder.

 

“Yeah. No. I don’t fucking know,” she replied, rubbing her eyes wearily.

 

“Same,” Matt said with a small, sardonic smile.

 

“Ass,” she muttered. His smile widened a little. She watched as Danny moved away from the group to place the call to the car service. Claire moved to check on Colleen. “It’s just… fuck. He nearly fucking _died_ , didn’t he? If we hadn’t gotten there when we did, if he didn’t have that freaky ability, if Colleen hadn’t gotten that idea….”

 

“Yeah,” Matt sighed, his expression turning somber. “It was... close. It could have ended very badly.”

 

“And… that fucker didn’t just nearly kill him. He… he tried something,” Jessica said, her fists clenching. “What the fuck do you think happened?”

 

“It’s pointless to try to guess,” Matt said. “Maybe Danny will feel up to talking about it when we’re back at the penthouse, though he should probably rest first. The worst of the damage was healed but not all of it. He’s still injured.”

 

As if to demonstrate Matt’s point Danny swayed a little on his feet as he came back towards them, his call finished. Jessica reached out to grab his shoulder to steady him and he flashed her a surprised, grateful smile. She had to wonder just how much of a bitch she usually was to him when he always looked so surprised when she did something nice.

 

“They’re on their way. ETA is less than ten minutes,” he reported. He looked at Colleen, frowning with concern. “Are you sure she’s okay, Claire? Shouldn’t she be awake by now? I… I don’t know what I’d do if I hurt her.”

 

“Her pulse is steady. I’m sure she just needs rest,” Claire said. “How long were you out after that first time you used chi to heal?”

 

“Hours,” Danny admitted unhappily. He grimaced a little as he rubbed his throat, which still bore red finger-shaped marks. The sight of them made Jessica’s blood boil. His eyes seemed to go a little unfocused and he swayed again.

 

“Hey, maybe you should do it again,” Jessica found herself saying. “Borrow some of my chi or whatever to heal yourself some more. Just don’t drain me to unconsciousness. I’m sure Luke’s strong enough to carry two of us but it would look awkward as hell.” Danny’s eyes widened in shock, and her gaze caught on the petechiae visible not just in the whites of his eyes, but in the skin around them, too. That bastard had to have choked him pretty freaking badly. She grit her teeth.

 

“Really? You’d… you’d be okay with that?” he asked. She scowled at how surprised the others looked, too.

 

“Sure. That’s what friends are for, right?” she said firmly, practically daring any of them to make a comment. Wisely, they refrained.

 

Jessica reached out her hand, and Danny accepted it as if she was handing him a delicate Fabergé egg. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, and for a moment she didn’t feel anything. But then there was... _something._ A peculiar, almost tingly sensation that she would have expected to be unpleasant, but somehow wasn’t. It was… it was _warm._ Warm and _comforting._ There was an undefinable tugging sensation and then the familiar yellow glow of the Iron Fist was traveling up _her_ arm, through their joined hands, and down Danny’s arm, just as it had with Colleen.

 

“Holy shit,” she breathed, her eyes wide. She was just starting to feel dizzy when Danny broke the connection. Matt put his arm around her when she swayed a little.

 

“Thank you, Jessica,” Danny said with a deep sigh. “That really helped.” The redness on his throat and the petechiae around his eyes had almost completely disappeared.

 

“No… no problem,” Jessica replied, blinking through the light-headedness that remained in the wake of that strange sensation. Jesus, it was almost like being a little stoned. She had a sudden crazy vision of junkies trailing after Danny, wanting him to drain their chi and almost giggled.

 

“Wow, you’re really kind of loopy, aren’t you?” Matt asked, a note of amusement in his voice. The jerk had probably sensed her mirth or something.

 

“I’m fine,” she said, annoyed. It was true, the feeling was already fading. They’d only been connected for a few moments. No wonder Colleen was still out after having been connected for several minutes.

 

Just then a sleek black limousine pulled up and the driver, a middle-aged black man, stepped out to greet them.

 

“Thank you for coming on such short notice, Paul,” Danny said, because of course he knew him by name and thanked people for doing the job they were being paid to do. For his part, Paul’s eyes widened as he took in the state of them, Colleen unconscious in Luke’s arms, and Danny’s blood-covered hair, face, and clothes, but he retained a professional air as he opened the back door for Luke to slide Colleen in.

 

“Do you require medical attention, Mr. Rand? Should we head for the nearest hospital?” he asked.

 

“Please, I’ve asked you a dozen times to call me Danny. And no, just take us back to the penthouse, please. It’s… it’s not as bad as it looks,” Danny said sheepishly. Jessica marveled that he could manage to look like such an earnest kid while covered in all that blood.

 

“Certainly, Mr. R-, I mean, Danny. As you wish,” Paul said, though he still looked concerned. Jessica vaguely remembered Claire having once mentioned how much most of the Rand employees loved Danny and could see that it was true.

 

They all piled into the car. The drive was slower with the heavier traffic of later morning, but it was only a few blocks. Colleen finally roused a little, but was still quite groggy. She exchanged a few murmured words with a concerned Danny and then slipped back under, though it seemed more like a doze than the total unconsciousness of before. When they arrived at Danny’s building, she woke again but it was testament to how drowsy she felt that she didn’t protest when Luke offered to carry her again. Danny’s doorman raised his eyebrows a little at the state of their little group but made no comment other than to welcome Danny home. Danny knew his name, too, of course. Jessica almost rolled her eyes.

 

Once they reached the penthouse Luke asked Colleen if she wanted to go rest in the bedroom but she insisted that she’d be fine sitting on the couch. The rest of them stood around awkwardly for a moment, as if suddenly unsure of what to do next.

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to go to the hospital, Danny?” Claire asked. “I told you, head and throat injuries are nothing to play around with. You could have damage that’s not showing any symptoms yet. I’d feel a lot better if you were properly checked out with a CAT scan or even an MRI. We could find a private clinic instead of the hospital if you prefer.”

 

“I’ll be okay, Claire, but I appreciate the concern,” Danny said sincerely. “When I use chi for healing it seems to seek out damaged cells on its own, I just give it intent and point it in the right direction. After I’ve rested I’ll make sure the last of my injuries are fully healed.” Claire grimaced a little, clearly not happy about trusting mystical chi healing over medical science, despite the obvious results. Jessica couldn’t really blame her. She could barely wrap her mind around it herself.

 

“Well, do you want to talk about what happened?” Claire asked him, abandoning the medical issue.

 

“He’d probably like to get cleaned up first, Claire. And maybe get some rest?” Matt suggested.

 

“I… I should probably shower,” Danny said, looking down at his blood-splattered clothes. “But I owe you guys an explanation,” he added, looking guilty.

 

“Shower first,” Matt said firmly. “We’ll be ready to talk when you are.”

 

“Okay,” Danny agreed. “Help yourselves to anything you like. I won’t be long.”

 

“You’re absolutely sure you won’t pass out in the shower or anything?” Luke asked with concern.

 

“I’m sure,” Danny said. “That extra boost of healing from Jessica really made a difference.” He glanced at her almost shyly when he said her name. Seriously, no one covered in blood should be able to look so earnest. It was almost irritating.

 

“It was no big deal,” she muttered uncomfortably. Fuck, she could actually feel heat rising in her cheeks.

 

“Yes, it was,” Danny said simply before turning and disappearing down the hallway. Jessica stared after him for a moment, not quite sure what her emotions were doing.

 

Fuck, she needed a drink.

 

Claire collapsed onto the couch opposite to Colleen, covering her face with her hands. Luke sat down next to her and started rubbing her back.

 

“You okay, babe?” he asked, frowning.

 

“Yeah, I… I will be,” she said. “It was just so fucking awful, seeing Danny like that. And it’s giving me some terrible ER flashbacks.”

 

“ER flashbacks?” Matt asked. Claire leaned back on the couch with a sigh, Luke’s arm settling around her shoulders.

 

“Danny being hurt so badly, and knowing it was someone he cared about who did it to him… it reminded me so much of all the domestic abuse victims we’d see in the ER,” she said grimly.

 

Fuck, Jessica _really_ needed a drink. She headed over towards the wet bar.

 

“It’s why his throat was causing you so much concern, too, isn’t it?” Matt asked somberly as he sat next to her on the other side from Luke. Jessica returned with a glass generously filled with whiskey and sat opposite him on the other couch, leaving space between her and Colleen for when Danny returned.

 

“Yeah,” Claire sighed. “Partial strangulation is a very popular intimidation tactic with abusers. It doesn’t necessarily have to require much effort on their part but leaves quite the lasting impression on the victim.”

 

“Jesus,” Jessica muttered, taking a big sip from her glass.

 

“Most people don’t realize just how dangerous it can be, though, even when it doesn’t cause any visible marks,” Claire continued. “It can cause brain damage, pneumonitis, heart attacks… plus a host of other complications. Not to mention death, sometimes days or even weeks later.”

 

“Seriously?” Luke asked, his eyebrows raised.

 

“Seriously,” Claire confirmed. “It can take very minimal pressure to cause internal bleeding and swelling that could progress slowly for days without causing any symptoms until the airway is blocked or some other crisis occurs. And it can take as little as just over five pounds of pressure to damage the carotid arteries and compromise blood flow to the brain, which can have all kinds of long term consequences, including eventual death. Fluid can also build up in the lungs causing pulmonary edema as long as two weeks later… the list goes on and on.”

 

“Oh my God,” Colleen said, her face stricken.

 

“Thank God for his healing ability,” Claire said fervently. “And for your idea to share your chi, and that it _worked._ He was already struggling to breathe, and between that and those multiple head injuries, I… I don’t know if he would have made it to the hospital.” A grim silence settled over them as they contemplated that dire statement.

 

“Do you think Davos meant to hurt him that badly? That he was really trying to kill him?” Luke asked gravely.

 

“Maybe, but not necessarily,” Claire said. “Which is another thing similar to domestic abuse… the abuser doesn’t need to intend to kill their victim for it to happen. You can’t always control the outcome of violence, especially if you're in an uncontrolled rage, and injuries can have unexpected complications. For all that it’s possible for people to survive and recover from incredibly devastating injuries, it can also take surprisingly little to kill someone, sometimes.”

 

Matt suddenly cocked his head to the side, as if he was listening to something down the hallway.

 

“Is Danny okay?” Colleen asked anxiously, straightening up as if she was getting ready to force herself to her feet, despite the fact that she still looked pale and exhausted.

 

“He’s still in the shower. He’s… upset,” Matt said diplomatically. “He’s pulling himself together. I don’t think it warrants anyone bursting in there.” Colleen looked unhappy but settled back against the couch.

 

Jessica took another drink from her glass, eyeing Matt’s somber expression. What must it be like, she wondered, to constantly be privy to people’s private moments like that? She had enough trouble dealing with her own shit, never mind being burdened with the knowledge of everyone else’s. And he’d said Danny was… _upset._ God, she could just imagine what an understatement that likely was.

 

“I hate to think what must have happened between him and Davos,” Luke sighed heavily. “Especially what might have led to… well, you know.”

 

Jessica _did_ know. Thinking about it was likely to drive her crazy. And damn, how had she managed to empty her glass so quickly?

 

“Led to what?” Colleen asked, frowning, and Jessica realized with a swoop of dread that Colleen had been down for the count already when they’d discovered Danny’s undone jeans and all the implications thereof.

 

“Oh, honey,” Claire said, and then seemed unable to continue. May as well rip the band-aid off, Jessica figured.

 

“Danny’s pants were undone,” she said, rising to her feet to go refill her glass. She felt a bit of a head rush but brushed it off as probably being the lingering effects of sharing chi or whatever. God, her life had gotten so weird. Well… weird _er._ “And when pressed about it he said that fucker ‘tried’ something. We don’t know any more details yet.” At the wet bar she paused for a moment, contemplating the whiskey bottle, before just grabbing it and bringing it back to the couch with her. Why keep making trips? She could fill her glass just as easily over there.

 

Colleen was staring at her, her face first going ashen, and then flushing red with anger as her fists clenched in her lap. She started to rise to her feet again.

 

“I… I need to go check on him,” she said. “I need to make sure he’s okay.”

 

Matt reached out to gently snag her wrist as she passed him.

 

“I think he just needs a few moments to himself,” he said quietly. “He’s getting dressed now so I think he’ll be out soon. Let him tell us what happened in his own time. He needs our support but he also needs not to be overwhelmed.”

 

Colleen’s face crumpled and for a moment Jessica thought she might start to cry. But then she took a deep breath, gave Matt a firm nod, and returned to her seat, a look of composed determination on her face. You had to admire grit like that. Jessica held the whiskey bottle out to her. Colleen looked at it for a moment before reaching out to take it. She took a deep swig, grimaced, and handed it back.

 

“Thanks,” she said. Jessica gave her a little salute with her glass, and then smiled in an overly sweet manner at Luke and Claire, who were watching the exchange incredulously. Matt merely looked amused. Then he straightened up, the small smile melting away, and the rest of them tensed, knowing what that likely meant.

 

Sure enough, Danny emerged from the hallway a moment later, looking pale and washed out, with dark circles under his eyes. With the blood gone and most of the visible injuries healed, little evidence of the life-threatening incident of such a short time ago remained. But an aura of exhaustion and… and _defeat_ seemed to linger about him. His eyes were red and though it easily could have been from exhaustion, Jessica wondered if he’d been crying, if that had been what had caught Matt’s attention earlier.

 

He stood there awkwardly for a moment, staring at them without quite managing to look any of them in the face, fiddling nervously with the ends of the sleeves of the oversized sweater he’d put on. Jessica grit her teeth a little at the sight of it. The penthouse was perfectly climate-controlled. She recognized the need for comfort and security when she saw one.

 

Colleen held out her hand in invitation and Danny moved towards her like a moth to a flame, settling onto the couch next to her, their limbs entwining like it was second nature. Jessica didn’t think she’d ever seen two people who were so effortlessly enmeshed together. She remembered making a rather snide comment about it to Matt only a few days ago, but looking at them then she realized the feeling stirring in her gut wasn’t contempt or ridicule. It was envy.

 

She took another big gulp from her glass, then topped it off with more from the bottle.

 

“How are you feeling?” Danny asked Colleen, looking at her with such naked concern it made Jessica’s heart ache.

 

“I’m okay. Still a little tired but it’s nothing,” Colleen replied. She reached up and gingerly ran her fingers through his damp curls over where the nasty gash had been only a short while ago. “How about you? Are you okay?”

 

“I’ll be fine,” Danny said. Jessica arched an eyebrow, wondering if the others had caught the lack of present tense.

 

“Are you sure?” Colleen asked intently.

 

“Yeah, thanks to you. And to Jessica,” he said.

 

“Jessica?” Colleen asked.

 

“Yeah, she gave me another little boost of chi, too,” he said.

 

“Thank you, Jessica,” Colleen said sincerely, leaning around Danny a little to meet her eyes.

 

“It was nothing,” Jessica muttered.

 

“She keeps saying that,” Danny said with a small smile.

 

“It’s not nothing. It means _everything_ that you’d be willing to do something like that. _Thank you,_ ” Colleen insisted emphatically. All Jessica could manage to do in response was nod, uncomfortable emotions swirling in her chest.

 

Danny sighed deeply, seemingly trying to gather himself together.

 

“I… I owe all of you an apology,” he said tremulously. “I agreed to always have someone with me and then I snuck off alone. And I looked at your phone without your permission, Claire. I never should have done that.”

 

“It was a mistake, but it’s certainly not unforgivable, Danny,” Claire said. “We’re not angry. We’re not your keepers and we don’t want to act like we are. We’re your friends. We’re….” She paused, looking to Luke, who nodded at her. “We’re your family.”

 

Jessica’s breath caught in her chest, the emotional weight of the moment seeming to fill the whole room. She had no doubt that they could all feel it. It was… it was like something electric passing between them. Between _all_ of them. It almost made her shiver.

 

Danny stared at Claire for a moment, his eyes shining, before his gaze dropped down to where his hand was entwined with one of Colleen’s.

 

“T-Thank you,” he said shakily, something unnameable in his voice.

 

“We can talk about the rest later if you’re not feeling up to it, Danny,” Matt said softly.

 

“It’s… it’s okay,” Danny said. “Like I said before, I owe you guys an explanation. It's the least I can do.” He took another deep breath, looking to Colleen for a moment. She gave him a small, encouraging nod.

 

“We’re here for you,” she said.

 

“I… I woke up from a nightmare,” Danny began. “It was… a pretty bad one.” With that he glanced at Luke and then looked down again, his face flushing a little. Jessica arched an eyebrow. “And I don’t know, I just… kind of got possessed by this urgency to talk to Davos, to… to get his side of the story, I guess. I can see now it was a foolish thing to do, but… the uncertainty was driving me crazy.”

 

Jessica nearly had to bite her tongue to keep from making a snarky comment. Not the time, Jones. Occasionally even she could have _some_ tact. Besides which, it would have been like kicking a puppy. She took a deep drink from her glass.

 

“Uncertainty?” Luke asked.

 

“Of… of whether you guys were right about him,” Danny said guiltily. “So I got the name of the Lotte from Claire’s phone and I took a cab over there, without any plan as to what I would do next. But then Gao showed up.”

 

“She seems to be making a habit of it,” Matt said grimly.

 

“She… she must be watching the building or something,” Danny said. “I don’t know how else she would have known I would be there.”

 

“She called Colleen’s phone, and she knew Luke and I were here, too,” Claire said. “She _must_ have us under some kind of surveillance.”

 

“She told me Davos’ suite number, and then she left,” Danny continued. “So I… I went up to see him.” He paused again. Emotion warred across his face. Jessica contemplated offering him the bottle but figured the odds of Claire and Luke reacting badly to that gesture were higher than it would be worth. She poured herself another glass instead. Across from her she noticed Matt’s cheek twitch a little but he didn’t say anything.

 

“It’s okay, Danny, you don’t have to continue right now if it’s too much,” Colleen said softly.

 

“It was true,” Danny finally said, something awful and broken in his voice. Jessica’s heart clenched painfully in her chest. “He was so angry over what had happened to K’un Lun that he really had been sincere when he talked to Joy. He’d really wanted to kill me.” Heavy silence hung in the air for a moment.

 

“We’re so sorry, Danny,” Matt said gently. Danny nodded without looking up, the hand that wasn’t holding Colleen’s clenching and unclenching spasmodically in his lap.

 

“He doesn’t anymore, though,” Danny said, and now something else was creeping into his voice. Something dull and distant, like he was pulling away from the emotions he was feeling. Like he was dissociating from them. A chill crept down Jessica’s spine despite the warmth she was feeling from all the whiskey she’d consumed.

 

“What do you mean?” Luke asked, frowning.

 

“He wanted me to stay with him,” Danny said dully. “To… to _be_ with him. He said that if I stayed with him, and did what he said, then I could redeem myself for abandoning K’un Lun. For abandoning _him._ ”

 

“Jesus Christ,” Jessica bit out. Her grip tightened on her glass and she caught herself just in time to keep from splintering it, though a crack appeared near the rim.

 

“When I told him I couldn’t do that, he got angry,” Danny continued, almost as if in a daze. “He said that I… I was his and he wasn’t giving me a choice. We fought. He said he’d do whatever it took to… to keep me with him, use drugs or whatever was necessary to keep me subdued. I could see it in his eyes… he was completely unhinged. And then when I was too injured to fight back anymore he was going to… he tried to… he tried to rape me.”

 

Jessica thought she’d been prepared. She knew their history, after all, and the undone pants had been a dead giveaway that something of that nature had happened. But it was still a knife to her gut, hearing it stated so plainly. Every muscle in her body felt as tightly strung as a bowstring and a rushing sensation filled her ears.

 

“God, Danny, I’m so sorry,” Colleen said, her voice thick with emotion.

 

“He put me over the coffee table and started to pull my pants down,” Danny went on, speaking more quickly, almost as if he couldn’t stop himself. “I… I _panicked_ and when I tried to hit him the energy of the Fist exploded.” Emotion seemed to slam back into him as if it had been attached to a rubber band and it had reached its limit. His breath hitched in a cut off sob and he leaned forward, releasing Colleen’s hand to reach up and fist his hands in his hair. “He was really going to do it. He was going to _rape_ me. He knew I didn’t want to do it and it didn’t matter, he didn’t care _._ He didn’t **_care_** _!_ ”

 

With that the floodgates opened and he started to cry. Colleen wrapped an arm around his back, almost half-draping herself over him, silent tears pouring down her own face. Claire had reached out and taken Luke’s hand, both of them looking on with anguished expressions on their faces. Matt’s face was grim and he was holding his cane with a white-knuckled grip.

 

Jessica couldn’t be there anymore.

 

She rose to her feet and the room spun. She suddenly realized just how drunk she was. She’d managed to put away over half the bottle of whiskey in what couldn’t have been more than half an hour or so, which was a lot, even for her. She stalked resolutely towards the hallway, reaching a hand out to steady herself against the wall. She ducked into the first room she came to. It looked like one of the guest bedrooms. When she turned to close the door she discovered that Matt had followed her.

 

“I’m fine,” she barked out. “Just… leave me alone.”

 

“I can’t do that,” Matt said simply.

 

“I just… probably shouldn’t have drank so much so quickly when I was already a bit drained from that chi thing, that’s all. I’m _fine,”_ she insisted. “Danny’s the one we should be focusing on.”

 

“The others are with him, and you’re just as important as he is,” he replied.

 

“I’m okay, damnit,” she growled.

 

“You don’t have to be,” Matt said softly. “You can fall apart if you need to. I’m right here.”

 

She stared at him for another moment, her emotions a tangled whirlwind, and then there was just no holding it back anymore. She collapsed into his welcoming arms and let the tears come.

 

TBC

 


	21. Matt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, HUGE thanks to everyone who takes the time to comment or leave kudos. I can't even begin to say how much it means to me.

Jessica clung to Matt as if her life depended on it as she cried, and Matt held her back just as tightly, his heart aching for her.

 

He wasn’t sure how long she cried for. He’d half expected her to try to pull away and compose herself after only a minute, but she didn’t. He was glad. This had been building for quite some time and she needed to get it out. He was also glad that she seemed to have enough subconscious control over her strength not to be breaking his bones, which she easily could have. As it was, he could stand there for as long as she needed him to.

 

Eventually, though, her energy seemed to run out, the tears slowing and then finally stopping, the desperation easing from her grip.

 

“Thank you,” she breathed, her head still resting on his shoulder.

 

“Any time,” he replied softly, giving her another reassuring squeeze.

 

“I’m… I’m not really sure where that came from,” she said, pulling back a little. In unspoken agreement they sat down on the edge of the bed, still half facing each other, close enough that their thighs touched and their hands could stay interlinked.

 

“Really?” Matt asked, his eyebrows raised. “Danny just told us Davos wants to keep him at his side in a forced sexual relationship. If anything was going to be the straw that broke the back of how tightly wound up this whole mess has been making you, it was going to be that.”

 

“Don’t sugarcoat it or anything,” Jessica said, shuddering. Matt squeezed her hands.

 

“You don’t need me to sugarcoat it, any more than you need to hide how much this is affecting you, Jessica,” Matt said softly. “You’re one of the strongest people I know, and I don’t mean just physically. But you’re still human, and as upsetting as this has been for all of us, you have history that makes certain aspects of what’s been going on particularly painful for you.”

 

Jessica was quiet for a moment, as if mulling over his words. Her thumb was slowly tracing back and forth over his knuckles where their hands were joined, making warmth bloom in his chest. The scent of her - day-old deodorant and shampoo, sweat, salt from her tears, the leather of her jacket, whiskey, something unique and undefinably _her_ \- filled his senses.

 

“I… I feel like I’m never going to get away from it,” she finally said tiredly. “Like it’s going to define who I am for the rest of my life. It’s not just the… the physical violation, which is horrific enough.” She paused as if struggling to find the right words. “When someone thinks that they… that they _own_ you like that, that they’re entitled to… to _possess_ you like you’re some object and do whatever they want to you… it’s just so fucking _dehumanizing._ Just… knowing that Danny knows what that feels like now, and Jesus, from someone he cares about, no less… I guess it really brought it all crashing down on me.”

 

“What happened is a part of you,” Matt said sadly. “There’s no denying that. But it doesn’t have to define you. It’s something that was done to you, but it’s not who you are. Events don’t define us, it’s how we deal with them that does.”

 

“Did you get that from a fortune cookie?” she asked wryly, a note of fond amusement creeping into her voice. Matt smiled a little.

 

“The point that I was going for is that there’s a hell of a lot more to you than just being a victim,” he said. She twitched a little at the word and he squeezed her hands. “And all of us here know that. _I_ know that. And… we’re all supposed to be here for each other. It’s kind of the point. So when things are upsetting you, you don’t have to hide it. You… you can _trust_ us.”

 

She was quiet for another long moment, and then she released his hands, reaching up to gently take his glasses off his face before folding them and sliding them into his shirt pocket, her movements slow and deliberate. Matt blinked at her, swallowing back the sudden lump in his throat. Her hand cupped his face, her thumb stroking his stubbled cheek the same way it had his knuckles, and his breath caught in his chest.

 

“I trust you,” she said softly, and then she was kissing him.

 

Matt brought his hand up to run through her hair as he kissed her back. It was slow, and warm, and _comforting,_ without any fire or passion to it. Neither of them were in the right frame of mind to be thinking about getting naked, after all, nor was the timing or place anything resembling appropriate. But he could feel the fire there underneath, somehow, like a promise.

 

When they finally pulled apart they sat quietly for a moment, their hands finding each other’s again, their breath coming slow and deep. For all that his heart rate had kicked up a notch, Matt hadn’t felt so… so _settled,_ so _right,_ in a long time. And though sadness and pain still clung to Jessica like a fine mist, he could sense that something had changed for her, too.

 

It had been more than just a kiss.

 

“Wow,” Jessica finally said.  


“Wow,” Matt repeated with a small chuckle. There really weren’t any other words for it, not at the moment.

 

“We… we should probably head back out. See how the others are doing,” Jessica said.

 

“If you’re sure you’re ready,” Matt said.

 

“Yeah,” Jessica sighed. “The emotional meltdown portion of today’s festivities is over, at least on my part.” She squeezed his hands again. “Thanks, Murdock. For… for following me, and for what you said.”

 

“It was only the truth,” Matt said simply.

 

“And it’s the truth that Danny needs our focus right now,” she replied as they both rose to their feet, their hands still joined. “But I can’t help him if I’m being a basketcase myself, right? I guess sometimes looking after other people means looking after yourself, too. I’ll… I’ll try not to hide anymore.”

 

“Why Miss Jones, how incredibly emotionally insightful of you,” Matt said in a gently teasing tone. Jessica snorted but her demeanor quickly sobered again.

 

“You know, Danny did inadvertently confirm something else I haven’t been able to stop myself from wondering about,” she said.

 

“Oh? What’s that?” Matt asked.

 

“With how incredibly naive he often tends to be, I don’t think he would have cottoned on so quickly to exactly what Davos intended to do with him in that position if he didn’t have experience with it, do you?” Jessica asked darkly.

 

“No, probably not,” Matt said with a grimace after a moment’s consideration.

 

“So it might have been the first time outright force was involved, but that creep definitely manipulated him into sex before,” Jessica growled. “I guess part of me was hoping creepy, inappropriate touching was as far as it had ever gone, even if that alone is still fucking horrible. I figured it was a long shot, though. And now this. That bastard thinks Danny fucking _belongs_ to him. I seriously am going to rip his spine out through his throat.”

 

“You might have to get in line at this point. Colleen probably wants first dibs,” Matt remarked.

 

They left the bedroom and headed back out to join the others. They found Luke and Claire in the kitchen, in the middle of preparing breakfast. Danny and Colleen were still entwined on the living room couch. They were quiet, as if resting, though Matt could tell neither was actually asleep. The smell of salt still clung around Danny, though his tears had stopped, and he exuded an air of tension and exhausted despair. Colleen practically reeked of worry and no small amount of tension herself.

 

“Everything okay?” Luke asked quietly, clearly not wanting to disturb Danny and Colleen in the living room.

 

“Or maybe better than just okay,” Claire said, a small note of amusement in her voice, though she kept her volume low as well. Matt had a feeling she was eyeing their joined hands.

 

“We’re fine,” Jessica grumbled, and instead of pulling away in embarrassment as Matt half expected her to, she squeezed his hand tighter. “How’s the kid?”

 

“Exhausted, mentally and physically,” Claire answered with a sigh, all traces of amusement gone. “He really didn’t seem up to discussing any more so we’re taking a break for breakfast. He said he wasn’t hungry but he _has_ to eat something.”

 

“Well, we can hardly be surprised that he doesn’t have an appetite after everything that’s happened this morning,” Matt said.

 

“I know,” Claire said sadly. “But he _needs_ the energy. His eating has been so sporadic the last few days and his body underwent a huge strain this morning, between the injuries and the healing. We’re going to have to get him to at least try.”

 

“Well, first batch is ready if someone wants to take it out to them,” Luke said, sliding some scrambled eggs from a pan onto a couple of plates. Claire picked them and some utensils up and Matt and Jessica followed her out to the living room after Luke declined their offer of help on the next batch.

 

“Food’s ready,” Claire announced as she approached the couch. Danny and Colleen shifted, sitting up straighter, and though Colleen accepted the offered plate readily enough, Matt could sense Danny’s reluctance.

 

“I’m really not very hungry, Claire,” Danny said tiredly. Matt frowned at how toneless and defeated his voice sounded.

 

“I know, Danny, but you need energy to replenish your chi, right?” Claire persisted, still holding the plate out towards him. He finally accepted it, but he only picked at the food halfheartedly. By the time Colleen had finished hers, Matt and Jessica had been served with the next batch, and Luke and Claire finally sat down with their own, he had still only eaten about a third.

 

“I’m sorry, I really don’t think I can eat any more,” he finally said, chagrined.

 

“It’s okay, hon, at least you tried,” Claire said, though her voice was heavy with concern.

 

They were just starting to gather up the dishes when Matt’s phone sprung to life in his pocket.

 

“ _Foggy. Foggy. Foggy,”_ it announced. Matt arched his eyebrows in surprise. It was mid-morning on a weekday, and he had just seen Foggy last night. What could he be calling about? He moved a little away from the others as he fished his phone out and answered it.

 

“Hey, Foggy, what’s up?” he asked, frowning a little. He had a feeling that it probably wasn’t good news.

 

“Hey, Matt,” Foggy answered, and there was definitely a note of strain in his voice. “You, uh, you wouldn’t happen to know where Danny is right now, would you? His phone is going straight to voicemail.”

 

“Yeah, I’m with him at his penthouse,” Matt replied. “His phone got broken earlier this morning, so you won’t be able to reach him that way until he gets a new one.”

 

“It didn’t happen to get broken during a mysterious, unexplained explosion at the Lotte New York Palace, did it?” Foggy asked.

 

“Are you… asking as his lawyer?” Matt asked carefully. He could sense that his end of the conversation had captured the others’ attention, as they had all frozen like deer in headlights.

 

“Brett called me, man,” Foggy said with a sigh. “He knows my firm works for Rand Enterprises. The police want to talk to Danny because there’s elevator security footage of him going to the twelfth floor not long before the explosion, but none of him leaving and he didn’t give a statement at the scene.”

 

“That’s pretty flimsy circumstantial evidence,” Matt said.

 

“Of course it is,” Foggy scoffed. “They certainly couldn’t do anything like arrest him just on that. Which is why they’re calling him a person of interest and not a _suspect._ But I guess if you’re there with him and none of this is coming as a surprise then there are, uh, _special_ circumstances, right?”

 

“That’s one way of putting it,” Matt said wryly. Foggy sighed again.

 

“Look, everything with Midland Circle kind of got swept under the rug, and I still don’t understand exactly _how,_ but despite all the efforts that went into hushing all the details up, there are still a lot of cops who know Danny was connected to that, too. Now, luckily no one was hurt at the Lotte and the whole building wasn’t destroyed or anything, but there _was_ significant property damage. They’re going to push for a statement at the very least. Is that something that’s doable right now? I mean, he is okay, isn’t he?” Foggy asked, concern creeping into his voice.

 

“More or less okay,” Matt said diplomatically. He paused, mentally running over their options. Having Danny talk to the police just then, even with Foggy present, didn’t seem like a great plan. He was exhausted and had only just begun to process the emotional ramifications of everything that had happened. They could put the cops off for a few days while they came up with some story, but….

 

“Danny already said he wanted to pay for the damage,” Matt said, moving closer to where Danny and Colleen were sitting on the couch. “What if you were to approach the hotel owners with a generous offer, on the condition that they don’t ask questions or pursue the matter with the police?” Matt arched his eyebrows at Danny questioningly, and he nodded his agreement to that plan.

 

“That could work,” Foggy said thoughtfully. “If the hotel isn’t pushing the police for answers then the police don’t have much cause to push _us_ if we stonewall them about a statement. Just how generous are we talking here?” Matt relayed the question to Danny.

 

“Whatever the cost of repairs is, triple it,” Danny replied. “It’s the least I can do for all the trouble.”

 

“That _is_ generous,” Foggy whistled after Matt told him. “Okay, I’ll get the ball rolling on that.” He was quiet for a moment before he continued. “As his lawyer I’m actually going to need to speak to Danny personally about this at some point before it’s all official, but since you’re perfectly aware of that and didn’t hand the phone over, I guess this isn’t a good time. It’s… it’s something bad, isn’t it?”

 

“Pretty bad,” Matt confirmed grimly as he moved away from the others again. “And… personal, which makes it worse.”

 

“Damn,” Foggy said sadly. “Well, tell him I hope he’ll be okay and that everything works out. He’s a good kid.”

 

“Yeah, he is. I’ll tell him,” Matt said.

 

“And… take care of yourselves. All of you,” Foggy said pointedly. Matt smiled a little.

 

“We will. Thanks for calling, Foggy,” Matt said. After he pocketed the phone he headed back to the others. They’d been able to get the gist of the situation but he was sure they were eager for a more detailed explanation.

 

“The police contacted Foggy about getting a statement from Danny regarding the explosion,” he said. “There was elevator security cam footage of him going to the twelfth floor.” Matt turned to address Danny specifically. “He’s going to start the process of making that offer to the hotel owners and with any luck we can avoid you having to speak to the police. He also said he hopes you’ll be okay and that everything works out.”

 

“Thanks, I appreciate that a lot. Foggy’s really nice,” Danny said. “It sounds like your dinner went well last night. I’m really glad for you, Matt.”

 

Matt nodded in acknowledgement, but he couldn’t help frowning a little, too. He didn’t doubt the sincerity of Danny’s words but his voice still sounded oddly… flat. It could certainly have just been exhaustion, but it made Matt uneasy all the same.

 

They had just about finished cleaning up from breakfast when Matt’s phone rang again.

 

“ _Karen. Karen. Karen,”_ it announced.

 

“You’re popular this morning,” Jessica remarked.

 

Matt pulled his phone out again, his stomach sinking. It seemed unlikely that this was anything good, either. Once again he moved away from the others for the illusion of a bit of privacy.

 

“Karen? Everything okay?” he asked as he answered.

 

“Matt, hey, I’m glad I was able to reach you,” Karen said, sounding a little harried. “I need to give you a heads up about something.”

 

“A heads up?” Matt asked, raising his eyebrows.

 

“Yeah,” she sighed. “One of my co-workers is crowing about all this info she just got sent from an anonymous source. She’s working on a story that will likely hit our website within the hour and will be in the evening edition of the paper. It’s about Danny, Matt.”

 

“Danny?” Matt asked, alarm spiking through his gut. “What kind of info?”

 

“She’s not sharing many details yet, of course, but apparently all kinds of stuff about him being mentally unstable and having violent outbursts and those couple of days he spent at Birch,” Karen said grimly.

 

“But… that at least has already been reported in the media, and it was nearly a year ago,” Matt said.

 

“Well, she claims to have new information. Anonymous reports from staff about the outbursts he had there and the claims he was making about having special powers, stuff like that,” Karen said. “And there’s more recent stuff, too, like how he apparently punched a hole in his office wall at Rand a couple of days ago.”

 

“Fuck,” Matt muttered, rubbing his eyes. “And she just got all of this dropped into her lap from a single anonymous source?”

 

“Yeah, just a little while ago. I saw a courier deliver a large, thick envelope to her office,” Karen said.

 

“Okay. Thanks, Karen. I really appreciate the advance warning,” Matt said.

 

“Well, you guys are a team now, so I figured it was relevant to you,” Karen said. “I just wish there was something I could do. I could try to convince Ellison not to run with it, but I doubt he’d agree. For all that it amounts to gossipy bullshit that’s nobody’s business, Danny’s a billionaire who’s been in the public eye before, and he’s also one of the owners of a major international corporation. People will consider it news.”

 

“I understand, Karen, don’t worry about it. You did plenty by calling me. Thanks,” Matt said. When he hung up and turned back to the others, he knew that they were all looking at him again.

 

“One of Karen’s co-workers at the Bulletin received an envelope from an anonymous source full of info about Danny and his, uh, alleged mental instability. They’re going to publish a story,” Matt relayed. For a moment there was only stunned silence.

 

“Oh my God,” Colleen breathed, her voice heavy with dismay.

 

“For fuck’s sake,” Jessica groaned. “We really needed this now?”

 

“An anonymous source? It’s… it’s got to have been Gao, right?” Claire said.

 

“I can’t imagine who else it might have been,” Matt agreed. “It’s someone who had a lot of access to things, that’s for sure. They even knew about the hole in his office wall.”

 

“Seriously, what the _hell_ is that woman up to?” Jessica asked angrily.

 

As the others started to mull that over amongst themselves, Matt focused in on Danny, who had remained strangely silent. His heart rate had leapt a bit and he had tensed even more, seeming almost to draw in on himself, but otherwise he was still exuding that flat, dull air of… of _despair,_ for lack of a better word. With the shame Danny felt about his mental health, Matt had certainly expected a much stronger reaction to the revelation that it was about to become a public news story. He almost wished he _would_ have some kind of outburst. It likely would have been less alarming than this strange lifelessness.

 

Danny suddenly rose to his feet, causing all other conversation to stop.

 

“I… I’m going to go lie down for awhile,” he said quietly.

 

“I’ll go with you,” Colleen said, starting to rise as well, but Danny waved a hand at her.

 

“I think… I think I just… want to be alone for a little while. If that’s okay,” he said dully. Matt sensed a little flare of hurt from Colleen, but she nodded in understanding anyway.

 

“Of course, Danny. Whatever you need,” she said. Danny nodded and started heading for the hallway.

 

“One second,” Matt called out and Danny paused. “When you saw Gao this morning, did she do or say anything that might give us a clue as to what her plan in all this is?”

 

“When I asked her, she… she mentioned an old legend they tell in K’un Lun,” Danny said slowly.

 

“A legend?” Matt asked.

 

“Yeah. ‘A child touched by fire, delivered from heaven to be our greatest warrior, destined for victory’,” Danny relayed, his voice still flat and toneless. “It’s supposed to be a story about the Iron Fist. Except… she said it was a prophecy, not a story. And then she just left.”

 

“Okay, thanks,” Matt said. Danny nodded and continued towards the bedroom.

 

“Jesus, is he really going to be okay?” Jessica asked after he was gone. “How is it possible that he didn’t just freak out over the news story?”

 

“I think he’s way past the limit of what he can deal with right now,” Claire said worriedly. “Some level of emotional shutdown isn’t really surprising at this point, but it’s definitely something we’ll have to watch. And, well....” She looked at Matt. “I assume you’re going to keep an ear out for him?”

 

“Of course,” he said with a nod.

 

“You don’t think…,” Luke said, dismayed.

 

“I don’t think we can be too careful right now,” Claire said somberly. “Especially when we know he’s already had urges to hurt himself.”

 

“God, what a mess,” Colleen said, her voice breaking a little. “What the hell are we going to do? How can we help him?”

 

“Hey,” Matt said, going to sit next to her and taking hold of one of her hands. “Things _are_ a mess right now, but you guys aren’t alone. We’re going to deal with this, whatever it takes. We’ll figure it out, I promise.”

 

“Thank you,” she said, squeezing his hand a little, and he could almost hear the small, grateful smile in her voice.

 

“So,” Jessica said, dropping onto the couch on his other side. “Freaking Madam Gao. What the _fuck,_ man?”

 

“Are you familiar with that story Danny mentioned?” Matt asked Colleen.

 

“Yeah, he’s told me about it before,” Colleen replied. “It’s just a little legend they tell about the Iron Fist. Supposed to be about what a great destiny and honour it is to be chosen, I guess. But… a prophecy? That sounds crazy. As far as I understood it, it was about the Iron Fist in general, not anyone specific.”

 

“When _we_ asked her why she was messing with Danny, she said something about him being a particularly special Iron Fist,” Luke said thoughtfully. “So if she really believes it’s a prophecy of some kind, then maybe she believes it refers specifically to him.”

 

“It sounds pretty vague, as most so-called prophecies tend to, but I guess there are elements that could be interpreted to fit,” Matt said slowly. “A child touched by fire… that could mean the crash, maybe, or even the trauma of his parents’ deaths and being trapped in K’un Lun. Or hell, the trauma of everything he went through _in_ K’un Lun.”

 

“Delivered from heaven… a rather on the nose reference to a plane crash?” Claire suggested.

 

“Destined to be our greatest warrior… maybe that doesn’t mean the Iron Fist in general, maybe Gao thinks it means specifically the greatest _Iron Fist_ ever,” Colleen said.

 

“But why would she think that’s Danny? I mean, no offence or anything, but don’t they consider him to have like, failed his duty as the Iron Fist or whatever by leaving?” Jessica asked.

 

“Who knows? That’s kind of the problem with supposed prophecies, people can interpret them however they want,” Matt said. “But even if she does believe that that story is some kind of prophecy that pertains specifically to Danny, that still doesn’t explain why she’s been messing with him like this. All these back and forth head games with Davos, and now leaking all this personal stuff to the media…. What possible purpose could it serve? I mean, if she just wants to take out the Iron Fist, this seems like an awfully convoluted way to do it.”

 

“Maybe taking him out is not the point,” Colleen said pensively. “Maybe… maybe _corrupting_ him is.”

 

“What do you mean?” Luke asked.

 

“When she was still being held at… at Bakuto’s compound,” Colleen said, her pulse jumping a little at the mention of her old sensei. “She encouraged him to kill Harold Meachum, after she revealed to him that Harold was the one who had poisoned the pilots and caused the plane crash, though she was the one who provided the poison. She said it was the only way he would gain the strength of a ‘real’ Iron Fist, that it would lead him to fulfill his destiny. But to kill for vengeance is without honour. It would have corrupted his chi and turned him down a darker path, I’m sure of it. Maybe that’s what she wants. Maybe that’s been what she’s been trying to do all along.”

 

“ _Gao_ is the one who provided the poison that caused the plane crash?” Luke said, shocked. “Jesus, that’s… that’s a hell of a coincidence.”

 

“Why would she want to corrupt him rather than kill him?” Matt asked.

 

“Bakuto seemed to want to recruit Danny to the Hand, to use his power for his own,” Colleen said. “Maybe… maybe she wants to do the same. But… but she wants to tear him down, first. Maybe make him weak or something, so she has more control over him?”

 

“So what you’re basically suggesting is that Gao is Emperor Palpatine and she wants to recruit him to the Dark Side?” Jessica asked drily.

 

“Well, if you’re going to put it like that,” Colleen said with a sigh, rubbing her eyes tiredly.

 

“Hey, I wasn’t criticizing. It… it actually kind of makes sense. More than anything else at least,” Jessica said.

 

“Speaking of Harold, though, like Luke said, I’ve always thought that it was a pretty crazy coincidence that Gao was involved with him before Danny ever ended up in K’un Lun. But… how could it _not_ be a coincidence? It would be impossible for her to have known what would happen,” Claire said.

 

“She said she knew Danny’s mother, too, and that she introduced her to his father,” Colleen added. “I’ve always wondered if it was just more mind games, more lies… Danny certainly thought so. But she _did_ know Harold. It’s… it’s not impossible that it was the truth, at least to some degree.”

 

“Wait, wait, let me get this straight,” Luke said, holding up a hand. “Gao knew Harold Meachum, knew Danny’s parents, _and_ played a vital role in causing the crash that stranded Danny in K’un Lun? And now there’s this prophecy thing she believes in, that she likely thinks is about Danny? Jesus… you don’t think she’s been engineering everything from the start? That she _wanted_ Danny to end up in K’un Lun and become the Iron Fist?”

 

“But that would be _impossible,”_ Jessica complained. “How could she have known? And how do you even engineer something like that? I mean, think about it. What even _are_ the chances of not only that plane going down in the right place, but also at the right time for Danny to be found by those monks? How the hell could you make something like that happen on purpose?”

 

“When you put it like that, it almost sounds more plausible that someone did make it happen on purpose, rather than it being pure chance,” Claire mused. Jessica scoffed.

 

“Well, bringing people back from the dead is impossible, too,” Matt said grimly. “Maybe there’s more detail to this prophecy than just that little story, or maybe she has… other resources. That telekinetic blast thing she does is pretty unusual. She could have other powers we’re not aware of, too.”

 

“Jesus,” Jessica said in disgust. “This fucking mystical ninja shit is the worst.”

 

Matt was about to reply when his senses pinged on something down the hall. He paused, his mouth snapping shut as he listened.

 

“Is Danny okay?” Colleen asked urgently. Matt held up his finger to indicate he was still listening and she should give him a moment.

 

Danny was talking to himself. Or more likely, talking to hallucinations. He sounded upset and Matt’s heart ached for him, but he was lying on the bed and neither his heart rate nor his adrenaline were particularly elevated so it didn’t seem like a crisis was imminent. Matt tried not to focus on the words he was saying. It was always a struggle for him in situations like that, trying to tread the fine line between safety and privacy.

 

“Not really,” Matt finally replied with a weary sigh. “But he asked to be alone for awhile and I haven’t heard anything that would warrant anyone intruding on that just yet. I know it’s hard, and I’m not happy about it either, but we have to respect his wishes whenever we can or we’ll lose his trust.”

 

Colleen nodded, though he could sense her anguish. He took her hand again and gave it another reassuring squeeze.

 

“Anyway, what exactly did Gao say about Danny’s parents?” Matt asked her, trying to get the conversation back on track. “How well did she claim to know them?”

 

“She didn’t say much… though the first time she mentioned Wendell she said he had no honour,” Colleen replied.

 

“What the hell could that mean? Especially coming from her,” Luke said. “She’s like the epitome of having no honour.”

 

“I don’t know,” Colleen replied. “As for his mother, Heather… Gao said she manipulated her into introducing her to Wendell. That she set it up for months. Though apparently Wendell refused to do business with her, and that’s when she approached Harold, who _did_ agree to work with them in exchange for his life.”

 

“Fuck, this is giving me a headache,” Jessica said, rubbing her head.

 

“I think what we’re going to have to do is find out more about Wendell and Heather Rand and see if we can figure out what Gao’s interest in them was,” Matt said. “We _have_ to figure out what her motivations are in all this, and what her end game is. Who knows what she might do next?”

 

“Danny never talks about his parents, not really,” Colleen said sadly. “Whenever I’ve brought them up he just kind of… changes the subject.”

 

“Not suspicious at all,” Jessica muttered. Matt couldn’t help but agree.

 

“Joy and Ward are the only ones I can think of who would have known them, and they were just kids back then, too,” Colleen said.

 

“It’s still worth talking to them. Ward was what, fifteen when they died? And Joy was around ten or eleven, about the same age as Danny. That’s old enough that they might have noticed something if anything odd was going on,” Matt said.

 

“I know who else we could ask,” Jessica said.

 

“Who?” Matt asked.

 

“Hogarth,” she said. “She worked for Wendell at Rand, and she even knew Danny as a kid, because apparently he spent a lot of time there, which is kind of weird if you ask me. And trust me, if something fishy was going on it was likely on her radar.”

 

“Great,” Matt said. “It looks like we have a couple of places to start from then.”

 

TBC

  



	22. Danny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks as always for the comments and kudos! They seriously give me life. :)
> 
> Just a little extra warning that part of this chapter gets a bit more graphic than anything else that has appeared so far.

Danny headed down the hallway towards the bedroom, feeling a bit like he was in some kind of surreal dream. Or perhaps a nightmare. He knew Colleen was hurt that he hadn’t wanted her to come with him, and he felt terrible. But he just… he just didn’t think he could deal with anyone being close to him just then. Even her.

 

Everything, absolutely _everything,_ was feeling too… too _close._

 

Even his own skin.

 

In the bedroom he sat down on the edge of bed, thinking he would lie down and try to sleep, but he just felt so… _uneasy,_ like things were crawling around inside his skin. For awhile after he’d told the others what had happened his mind had kind of blanked out and he’d just felt rather drained and empty, but now anxiety and dread were creeping back into his awareness. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and covering his face with his hands. His head ached and exhaustion pulled at his bones, but restlessness itched at him, his mind filling with static and turbulent, unnameable emotions.

 

He just… he just wanted to _disappear._

 

 _"This is a fine mess you’ve gotten yourself into now,"_ Davos sneered.

 

Danny jerked in surprise, looking up to see Davos standing over him. He was clean-shaven and dressed in the same casual clothes he’d been wearing at the Lotte. There was even blood on his face and clothes from their fight. Vertigo washed over Danny in a disorienting wave, and there was a moment when he wasn’t quite sure if the man in front of him was real or not, but of course it _had_ to be just another hallucination. Still, the flash of uncertainty left him feeling even more unsettled.

 

 _"Look at all the trouble you’ve caused,"_ Davos said venomously. " _And all the trouble that’s still to come because of you."_

 

Danny shook his head miserably. He didn’t want to listen. It was the last thing he needed just then. He turned to lie back on the bed and almost started to roll over to put his back to Davos when he suddenly froze, a cold sweat breaking out on his skin.

 

He… he didn’t want Davos behind him.

 

But that was _insane._ Davos wasn’t really there. He couldn’t… he couldn’t _do_ anything.

 

Gritting his teeth Danny deliberately rolled over onto his side as Davos’ laughter echoed around him. He grabbed one of the pillows to hug to his chest and shut his eyes. He didn’t want to think about the reason why even imaginary Davos could make him feel so… uncomfortable.

 

 _Nothing even happened, not really. He tried, but… but he didn’t succeed. So everything is fine now. There’s no reason to be upset,_ he desperately told himself.

 

 _"What about all the other times?"_ Davos said mockingly, and Danny flinched, squeezing his eyes shut even tighter. " _I_ **_never_ ** _cared if you wanted it. You’re a fool if you don’t realize that by now. But then, you’ve always been a naive little fool, haven’t you?"_

 

“Shut up,” Danny muttered. “That’s… that’s not….” But what could he say, really? That it wasn’t true? That that wasn’t how it had happened?

 

It _was_ true. That _was_ how it had happened. The horrible truth of it was sinking in more and more.

 

Davos, whom he loved like a brother, had lied to him and manipulated him and betrayed him, just like so many others. He’d done _worse,_ even, because he had… he had… and now he wanted to….

 

But Danny really didn’t want to dwell on that just then. Maybe not ever.

 

 _"Typical,"_ Davos sneered. " _Always such a child, wanting to hide from your problems. Do you think you can hide from the consequences of what you’ve done? An explosion, the police, a_ **_news_ ** _story. How long do you think before your so-called friends just cut their losses and abandon you?"_

 

“Shut up,” Danny said again, rubbing his eyes wearily. “They… they wouldn’t do that.” He even mostly believed it, though there was a part of him that couldn’t help but wonder if they’d eventually reach a limit on what they were willing to put up with. But Davos wasn’t wrong about everything. He’d made a terrible error in judgement, going to see Davos, and now there would be consequences. It was a miracle that the blast from the Fist hadn’t hurt any innocent people, which was the most important thing, but it _could_ have. It could have very easily. The very thought of it made him shudder. And there were still legal ramifications that had to be dealt with. Even worse than that, he knew he had disappointed the others by sneaking away. They weren’t making a big deal out of it, but that was probably out of pity over what had happened.

 

And… and the news story. Cold dread flooded through his veins like ice water and his breath caught in his chest.

 

 _"You didn’t want anyone to know, and now_ **_everyone_ ** _will,"_ Davos said gleefully.

 

“Stop,” Danny begged, his voice cracking a little. He… he just couldn’t even begin to process what the ramifications of a story like that in the media could possibly be. He just _couldn’t,_ not right then. The only thing he knew for sure was that it was going to be awful. His stomach twisted with apprehension.

 

Again the thought entered his mind that he wished he could just disappear and be done with it. Solve everyone’s problems, including his own. For a moment he wished it with every fibre of his being. Surely there was something sharp around he could use, maybe in the bathroom….

 

No. He couldn’t do that to Colleen, to the others. Even if it would have been possible to do before Matt realized and raised an alarm, which it likely wasn’t.

 

Maybe… maybe if he could just get some rest things wouldn’t seem so… so bad.

 

Danny closed his eyes again and started to take slow, deep breaths, reciting calming mantras to himself in his head. It didn’t take much time at all for his weary, exhausted body to sink into sleep.

 

~~~

 

 _Danny was lying on his stomach on the mat in his room, his fingers clenched around the edges of the woven straw. Davos was behind him and he’d pulled up Danny’s robes and he was… was_ **_touching_ ** _him, someplace no one had ever touched him before. It felt weird and strange and uncomfortable. And it was starting to hurt._

 

_“I… I don’t think I like this, Davos,” Danny said uncertainly. Then he jumped a little as Davos landed a light smack on his bare flank._

 

_“Don’t be a baby, Danny,” Davos said, continuing on as if Danny hadn’t said anything. “It’ll feel better in a little while, you’ll see.”_

 

_Danny bit his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood as Davos added another finger. He almost told him to stop, that it hurt too much, but he could very well imagine how angry Davos would get if he were to do that. And, well…._

 

_He was training to be a warrior of K’un Lun. He would become the Iron Fist someday, he just knew it. Pain was part of his everyday life._

 

_He could handle it._

 

 _But it was much more than just a little pain after Davos shifted over him, one arm on either side of Danny’s torso to hold himself up, and then started to push himself inside. Danny tried to choke it back but he couldn’t stop himself from crying out. It_ **_burned_ ** _._

 

_“Shhh, you’ll wake somebody,” Davos hissed. Danny buried his face in the crook of his arm, his fingers clenching harder around the edges of the mat until his knuckles were white. And Davos kept pushing slowly but inexorably forward, splitting him apart._

 

_Danny kind of wanted to die._

 

 _It wasn’t even so much that the pain was bad - though it was, very much so - because he really could handle pain. His training - and his frequent punishments - had certainly given him lots of experience with that. It was that… it was that he didn’t_ **_want_ ** _this. He didn’t want this and he felt small and powerless and ripped apart and there was a squirmy, uneasy feeling growing in his stomach and he wanted it all to_ **_stop_ ** _._

 

_“Davos… I… I really don’t like this,” Danny gasped. “Let’s stop.”_

 

_“Stop? We can’t stop now,” Davos scoffed. Danny realized he could feel Davos’ hips flush against his butt, which meant he was all the way inside him. It made Danny feel strangely cold and ill and afraid._

 

_“Please… I’ll do whatever else you want, jerk you off or use my mouth or whatever, just… just not this, okay?” Danny said, hating the plaintive tone in his voice._

 

_“Damn it, Danny, why do you always have to be like this?” Davos growled, his breath ghosting over Danny’s ear. Davos’ body jerked a little in his anger and the movement made Danny cry out again. Davos shifted so that he was resting on one elbow, his weight settling more heavily over Danny’s back, pushing the air from his lungs. Then he reached around with his other arm to clamp a hand over Danny’s mouth. “Now, you’re going to be good and quiet and we’re going to have some fun. Once you get used to it you’ll enjoy it, too. Okay?”_

 

_Danny could do little else other than nod miserably, resigned._

 

_Davos started to move again, pulling partly out and then pushing in again in a steadily building rhythm, never removing his hand from Danny’s mouth. Danny shut his eyes tight and tried to bear it the same way he did the brutal training and the beatings, but it… it just wasn’t the same kind of pain. And it didn’t get better, he didn’t get used to it, and he certainly didn’t enjoy it. The whole time, all he’d wanted to do was scream…._

 

~~~

 

Danny gasped awake, the echo of that long-ago denied scream resounding in his head. He sat up abruptly, the remnants of the dream clinging to him like cobwebs, making his stomach twist.

 

That had been the first time… the first time Davos had fucked him.

 

He’d always hated it when he’d dreamed about the things Davos had liked to indulge in when they were alone, but those memories now held a new horror to them. Before when he’d dreamed about them they’d tended to leave him feeling guilty and ashamed, and the squirmy, uneasy feeling he’d never had a name for but that had always come part and parcel with those incidents would return full force until he could somehow manage to forcibly push it all from his mind.

 

But now… now he knew exactly what that squirmy, uneasy feeling was.

 

Violation.

 

Davos had been _violating_ him and Danny had just nodded and let him.

 

He bolted for the bathroom as his stomach suddenly rebelled. He just managed to make it to the toilet before vomiting the little bit of breakfast he’d been able to eat, followed by a round of painful dry heaving. When it was finally over he flushed the toilet and fumbled at the sink to fill a cup with water and rinse his mouth without standing up. He suspected he’d fall over if he tried to do so. Afterwards he crawled a little bit away to sit with his back against the wall, his heart pounding and his face flushed and his head swimming.

 

He’d been so _stupid._ He’d let Davos do whatever he wanted to him with barely any protest, again and again and again. It was no wonder that Davos now felt… felt _entitled_ to it. Felt entitled to _Danny._ He’d never done anything to discourage it, not really. Yes, Davos had manipulated and pressured him, all but ignoring the feeble protests he _had_ made. Danny could see that now. But he should have noticed _then,_ should have been stronger and done _something_ as Davos had grown more and more possessive, had gotten rougher and pushed to have sex more and more often. If he’d been more adamant about not liking it, been more assertive in refusing to do it, then maybe Davos’ obsession never would have grown to the level it had.

 

 _"Oh, really?"_ a voice said mockingly. " _He was still the stronger fighter back then. What makes you think that if you’d outright refused, he wouldn’t have just forced you like he was going to do this morning?"_

 

Danny’s breath froze in his chest. He wanted to deny it. The obsession seemed to have grown and festered over the years and had been compounded by Davos’ grief and anger over what he saw as Danny’s betrayal and the loss of K’un Lun. That _had_ to have been what pushed him over the edge. But… he could also clearly picture it, the terrifying, intense look Davos would get in his eyes sometimes, even when they were younger. He… he _couldn’t_ say for sure that Davos wouldn’t have just forced him, even way back then. He just… he just didn’t _know_ anymore, what Davos might or might not have been capable of. Maybe he’d never really known Davos at all.

 

Danny pressed his face into his knees, his hands fisting in his hair. Hysteria threatened to bubble up inside him but he forced it back down.

 

There was a soft knock on the bathroom door and Danny jerked in surprise.

 

“Danny?” Luke called. “Can I come in? I have ginger tea.”

 

“Yeah,” Danny responded after blinking at the door for a moment. Luke came in, closing the door behind him, and held out a steaming mug. The tangy, comforting scent of ginger filled Danny’s senses. “Thanks. I guess Matt heard me being sick, huh?” he asked ruefully as he accepted it.

 

“Yeah. Nothing to be embarrassed about, though,” Luke said. He put his back against the wall and slid down until he was sitting on the floor, about a foot of space between them. Danny eyed him for a moment as he sipped the tea before looking away.

 

“I thought I said I wanted to be alone,” he said.

 

“You did,” Luke said amiably. “And I’ll definitely leave if you really want me to. But I don’t think that’s what you really want right now, and it’s certainly not what you need.” Danny eyed him some more as he sipped more of the tea. He was reasonably sure Luke really would respect his wishes if he asked him to go.

 

He didn’t.

 

They sat quietly for awhile as Danny drank the tea. Little by little, he could feel some of the tension slowly draining from him, leaving an achy hollowness in its wake. When he’d finished the tea he set the mug aside and wrapped his arms around his legs, resting his chin on his knees.

 

God, he was so tired.

 

“Is… is the story out yet?” he asked tentatively, his stomach giving another little uneasy flip at the thought.

 

“No,” Luke replied. “Claire’s been checking the Bulletin’s website and there’s no sign of it yet.”

 

“I guess there’s no point in hoping they won’t publish it,” Danny said dully.

 

“No, probably not,” Luke said sympathetically. “But you know we all have your back, Danny. It’ll be okay.”

 

“I know,” Danny said with a small smile. Despite everything, they hadn’t abandoned him. At least not yet. He… he couldn’t even _fathom_ facing something like that news story blowing up without their support. Or… or everything with Davos. He didn’t think he’d ever stop worrying that someday they’d finally get sick of dealing with his issues or that he’d do something to drive them away, but they were with him right then, and that meant everything.

 

He pressed his face into his knees again, cold dread flooding through him with renewed vigour as another realization dawned.

 

“Ward and Joy,” he said. “They’re going to freak out when that story breaks. It… it could really hurt the company. I… I should call them and at least warn them.”

 

“Claire and Colleen left a little while ago to go talk to them,” Luke said, shifting a little closer. “They’ll fill them in on everything that’s been happening.”

 

“They did?” Danny asked, blinking at Luke in confusion. “Is… is Colleen mad at me?”

 

“No, man, of course she understands. Everyone needs some alone time now and then, even under normal circumstances,” Luke said with a reassuring smile. “We just needed a couple of volunteers to go talk to the Meachums and she and Claire know them the best. We had to reassure her over and over again that we’d take good care of you while she was gone,” he added, his smile widening into a grin. Danny huffed out a small laugh, surprised that he was even capable.

 

“Why couldn’t someone have just called them?” Danny asked. Luke heaved a sigh.

 

“Well, full disclosure, they’re going to ask them about your parents, too,” he said gently.

 

“What?” Danny asked, sitting up straighter. “W-Why?”

 

“We were talking about Gao, trying to figure out what her motivations are in all this,” Luke explained. “Colleen mentioned that Gao had claimed to know your parents. Since she seems so interested in you, we figured it had to be relevant somehow. We know it’s kind of a long shot since Joy and Ward were still young back then, too, but it’s not impossible they know something that could help us. Jessica and Matt will be heading out soon for a meeting with Hogarth, too, since she also knew them.”

 

Danny frowned, looking away as something went tight and hot inside his chest. He hadn’t forgotten the claims Gao had made, that she’d known his mother, that his father had no honour. But they _had_ to have been lies… hadn’t they?

 

Except if he’d been wrong about Davos, he could be wrong about anything. The thought left him feeling more hollow and unsettled than ever. He… he didn’t think he’d be able to handle it if he found out something awful about them.

 

Something itched back in the far recesses of his mind, but he forcibly ignored it.

 

“Hey, man, don’t look like that,” Luke said softly, shifting closer again so that they were nearly touching. “You know your parents loved you, right?”

 

“Of course,” Danny said, his heart clenching.

 

“Then nothing we find out about them, nothing Gao might have done to manipulate or influence either of them back then, can ever change that, right?” Luke said.

 

“No, I guess not,” Danny said with a sigh. He didn’t doubt their love for him, but he couldn’t deny that he was kind of afraid, too, and he wasn’t even sure why. The whole thing made him feel… uneasy. Just another thing to add to the list, he thought, grimacing a little as his stomach roiled again.

 

“How’s the stomach? Do you want more tea?” Luke asked, noticing his discomfort.

 

“I’m okay,” Danny said.

 

“Are you sure?” Luke asked with a frown. “It’s not like, something lingering from your injuries or anything?”

 

“No, I… I had a dream,” Danny said, his face flushing a little. “It… it was upsetting.”

 

“Must have been, if it literally made you sick,” Luke remarked with raised eyebrows. “Do you want to talk about it?”

 

No, no he really didn’t. But… but maybe he should. Danny eyed Luke again as the older man waited patiently, not pushing him or making him feel pressured. If he said he didn’t want to talk about it, he knew Luke would accept it without question.

 

He suddenly became aware of just how close Luke had gotten. Part of him thought it should feel… threatening, somehow, not only just because of what had happened with Davos, but also because of that _other_ dream he’d had earlier. Thinking of it then, he flushed even more. Of course dreams often didn’t make sense, but he still couldn’t understand why his mind would ever have gone… _there_ with Luke. Luke wasn’t a… wasn’t a predator.

 

Luke was… Luke was _comforting._ His warm bulk pressed up against Danny’s side made him feel… made him feel better. He could tell him.

 

“It was… it was about Davos,” Danny began, swallowing back the sudden lump in his throat. He may have been drawing strength from Luke’s presence but it was still difficult to talk about.

 

“About what happened this morning?” Luke asked gently.

 

“No… no, it was from when… when we were younger,” Danny said haltingly. “It was… the first time… the first time we had sex.” His face blazed with heat as he looked away. Luke was quiet for a moment before he responded.

 

“So… not the time you told us about yesterday, when he first… touched you?” he asked carefully. Danny nodded, still unable to look at him. “You mean full, uh… penetrative sex?” he continued, the rather clinical term sounding awkward enough coming from him that it might have been amusing under different circumstances. Danny nodded again, hunching in on himself a little. Luke was quiet for another moment, and then he shifted to wrap his arm around Danny’s shoulders, his movements slow and deliberate, giving Danny plenty of time to object if he wanted to.

 

Danny didn’t want to. He leaned into that warm, comforting bulk gratefully, struggling to control his swirling emotions.

 

“Hey,” Luke said softly. “You don’t have anything to feel ashamed about, okay?”

 

“Okay,” Danny said quietly, though he didn’t really believe it. If Luke did, then that was enough for now. “I just… I just feel really stupid. For not realizing how much he… he manipulated me.” He swallowed convulsively, clasping his hands together to keep them from shaking. Luke’s hold around his shoulders tightened a little. “After he talked me into trying it, and he’d… he’d started, I… I got really uncomfortable. I wanted him to stop. I _asked_ him to stop. But he didn’t. He got angry and called me a baby and said I’d enjoy it once I got used to it. But I _didn’t._ I didn’t like it and it _hurt._ It hurt _so much.”_ He choked back the sob that wanted to escape.

 

“God, Danny, I’m so sorry you had to go through that,” Luke said sorrowfully. “But it wasn’t your fault. You weren’t being stupid. You looked up to him and depended on him and he abused that. That’s totally on him, not on you.”

 

“But… maybe if I’d been stronger, if I hadn’t always given in and let him do whatever he wanted, maybe he… he wouldn’t be like this, now,” Danny said miserably.

 

“That’s a pretty big stretch, Danny,” Luke said. “It sounds to me like there was always something dark and broken in him. Abusers like to find some reason to blame their victims for what they do to them, but it’s always bullshit. The only ones who are _ever_ responsible for abuse are the ones doing the abusing. Nothing you could have done or not done could ever justify what he is now.”

 

“You… you really think so?” Danny asked, feeling a little dazed at the idea. If _nothing_ he could have done would have made a difference… then was he really not to blame?

 

“Yeah, I do,” Luke said firmly, squeezing him tighter. “And all of the others would tell you the same thing.”

 

Danny stared at Luke in wonder as warmth started to bloom in his chest. They were so close that his eyes were drawn almost inexorably to his lips. The warmth blossomed into unexpected heat as he suddenly wondered what it would feel like to kiss him. Despite everything else they’d done, Davos had never kissed him. In fact, the only person he’d _ever_ kissed was Colleen. How different would it feel, kissing a man?

 

He flushed, looking away. Where had that thought come from? He… he certainly _admired_ Luke. It was hard not to notice how attractive he was. But it hardly seemed like an appropriate time to be contemplating feelings like those. Still, he couldn’t help but think of that other dream again, of how not-Luke had taunted him and touched him in a way real Luke never would. And that was kind of it, wasn’t it? Luke was like the antithesis to Davos. Everything about him was gentle and amiable and… and _safe,_ whereas Davos had always been all sharp edges.

 

Danny glanced back up to find Luke looking at him, and suddenly he _needed_ to know what it would be like, needed something different from that awful dream, and from the memory of Davos. He leaned up and pressed his lips to Luke’s.

 

Luke froze for a moment, clearly taken completely by surprise. But then he was gently pushing Danny away.

 

“I-I’m sorry!” Danny gasped, cold horror washing through him at the realization of what he’d just done. “I-I don’t… I don’t know what I was thinking.” How did he always manage to ruin _everything?_ How could he have done that to Colleen? To Claire? He tried to pull away, shame overwhelming him, but Luke wouldn’t let him.

 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Luke said soothingly. “I want to, I do. Hell, if I’m being honest I’ve wanted to for awhile.”

 

“You… you do?” Danny asked, blinking at him.

 

“I do,” Luke confirmed. “And we can. Soon, but not right now. When you’re ready.”

 

“When I’m… ready,” Danny repeated, confused.

 

“Yeah,” Luke said. “To say that the past few days have been tumultuous for you would be an understatement. And just in the past several hours you were gravely injured and sexually assaulted by someone you care about. You’re… you’re vulnerable right now. So we can wait a bit, until you’re _really_ sure. Until you’re ready.”

 

Danny stared at Luke in wonder _again._ Luke wanted to wait until he was ready. Luke didn’t want to take advantage of him. Danny suddenly understood, deep down to his very core, that he could _trust_ Luke, as much as he trusted Colleen. That Luke would never, _ever_ hurt him.

 

Feeling completely overwhelmed, Danny looked away. He tried to fight back the sudden moisture in his eyes but it was a losing battle.

 

“Hey, man, it’s okay,” Luke said softly, pulling him closer. Danny turned back towards him, unable to resist the urge to nestle into the warmth and safety of that strong embrace. They sat like that quietly for awhile as Danny let the tears flow. When they’d stopped he sighed deeply, just letting himself bask in the glow of Luke’s comforting presence, not quite able to wrap his mind around what had just happened.

 

He’d tried to kiss Luke.

 

And Luke wanted to kiss him, too. But instead of just going ahead and doing it, he cared enough to _wait._

 

Danny felt a little lightheaded at the idea.

 

But….

 

“But what about Colleen and Claire? I love Colleen, and you love Claire. That hasn't changed. This is… strange,” Danny said softly.

 

“It sure is,” Luke agreed with a small chuckle. “Don’t worry, we’ll talk to them. I have a feeling they’ll understand.”

 

Danny raised his eyebrows at that but he didn’t have the energy to question it. In fact, his exhaustion was creeping back up on him with a vengeance. His nap had barely made a dent in it. Luke seemed to notice, looking at him with concern.

 

“Hey, why don’t we head back into the bedroom and lie down for a little bit, at least until Colleen and Claire get back? You were only asleep for a couple of hours and you look like you could use some more rest,” he suggested.

 

“You… you’ll come to?” Danny asked hesitantly.

 

“Unless you don’t want me to,” Luke replied.

 

“No, I do,” Danny said hastily, and then blushed. Luke smiled, extricating himself from Danny to rise to his feet and then holding his hand out to help Danny up as well. Danny rinsed the tears from his face at the sink, the cool water a balm on his flushed skin, before they headed into the bedroom.

 

Danny was afraid for a moment that it would be awkward and stilted, lying down on the bed with Luke, but it wasn’t. They settled down with Luke spooned up behind Danny, and he felt no trepidation at all. It felt as natural as breathing.

 

“This okay?” Luke asked as he wrapped an arm around Danny’s chest, pulling him close.

 

“It’s perfect,” Danny breathed, closing his eyes and feeling the safest he had in a long time. He was asleep within minutes.

 

TBC

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ironwingedhawk - I think you must be psychic because I had most of the Luke and Danny interaction in this chapter plotted out before I posted the last chapter. XD I hope it didn't disappoint!


	23. Colleen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks so much to everyone who comments and leaves kudos. You guys are amazing!

Colleen stared out the window of the Rand car, chewing her bottom lip anxiously. Though having a task to focus on was doing wonders at making her feel less useless, she still couldn’t tear her mind away from Danny, back at the penthouse. It was foolish, she knew. He’d needed some time to himself - a perfectly reasonable request under the circumstances - and there were three other people still there if he needed something. He would be fine. Or at least as fine as it was possible for him to be just then.

 

She, however, was likely going to give herself an aneurysm, her brain frantically running a million miles a minute.

 

“Are you sure you feel up to this? You’re still rather pale, and you’re being really quiet,” Claire remarked.

 

“I’m fine, just worried,” Colleen sighed. It was the truth. There was still some lingering tiredness, but after eating and resting for awhile she was certainly up for something as simple as a trip to the Rand building to see the Meachums. Another moment sitting around the penthouse feeling completely ineffectual and she probably would have started screaming.

 

“I mean it, Colleen, don’t push yourself too hard,” Claire said. “Danny may be the one in crisis at the moment but that doesn’t mean you’re not important, too.”

 

Colleen turned to look at her, mustering a smile and reaching out to grasp her hand, squeezing it gratefully.

 

“Thanks, Claire,” she said. “It’s hard to worry about yourself when someone you love is in so much pain, but I’m honestly fine. Not about to faint or anything, I swear.”

 

“I’m not talking about just physically, either,” Claire said, giving her a narrow-eyed look. “This is a lot for _all_ of us to deal with, so we have to be there for each other.”

 

“I know,” Colleen said, squeezing Claire’s hand again. “I haven’t forgotten the promise we all made.”

 

“Was it Danny asking for some time alone, is that what’s bothering you?” Claire ventured.

 

“No, not exactly,” Colleen answered. She glanced at the closed privacy screen separating them from the driver before she continued. “I mean, yeah it stung a bit at first, but I get it. I’m just… worried.” She chuckled a little at that vast understatement, and Claire smiled ruefully. “I think he’s only just begun to process everything that happened this morning… I can only imagine how overwhelming it must be. And now this news story coming out…. I just have this feeling like it’s only a matter of time before… before something _really_ bad happens.”

 

She watched as Claire glanced down at her phone, where she’d been checking the Bulletin website regularly since Karen had called Matt a while ago. Each time there was still no article Colleen felt a momentary swoop of relief, but she knew it would only be a matter of time.

 

“You’re concerned about the possibility of a full psychotic break,” Claire said grimly. It wasn’t a question.

 

“You’re the one who _said_ it was a possibility,” Colleen pointed out.

 

“I did,” Claire agreed. “And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t worried, too,” she added with a sigh. “This is a lot of really devastating emotional blows he’s been taking, over a very short period of time. It would hardly be surprising if something… gives.”

 

“So what do we do?” Colleen asked, her heart clenching.

 

“We love him,” Claire said simply. “I know it probably sounds frustratingly trite, but it’s the truth. We do everything we can to look after him and to help him, same as he would do for any of us, and if the worst still happens… then we keep on looking after him until he’s better.”

 

Colleen was quiet for a moment as she looked at her, mulling over her words. She could see her own worry reflected in Claire’s face, but there was strength and determination there as well. Claire wouldn’t give up on Danny. The others wouldn’t either.

 

She’d gotten so used to the idea of herself and Danny as a little compact family unit. Just the two of them against the world.

 

But it wasn’t like that anymore. Their family was growing. Her heart swelled at the thought.

 

“So, what exactly _are_ we going to say to Ward and Joy?” Colleen said, forcing herself to refocus on their task lest emotion overwhelm her.

 

“Well, they need to know what happened at the Lotte, and that Davos’ goal is no longer to kill Danny,” Claire said. “Since Davos has already involved Joy once, and with Gao’s history with the company and her unknown motivations, they need to know to be vigilant.”

 

“Jessica was texting Joy updates on what we knew about Davos, right? So they know about the Lotte and that Gao is involved?” Colleen asked.

 

“Yeah, but she hadn’t updated her on what happened this morning yet,” Claire said. “There’s a blurb on the Bulletin website about the explosion but it doesn’t mention Danny, at least not yet. They might still be unaware.” She’d texted Ward earlier to make sure he and Joy would be available and he’d agreed that they could all meet in his office over lunch. She’d been fairly vague with the request, just saying that it was important but not urgent, and had assured him that Danny was okay when Ward had asked. If he’d been aware at the time about the explosion at the Lotte, he likely would have easily made the connection and asked about it. He’d experienced the blast wave of the Iron Fist firsthand before, after all.

 

“We’re back to where we started,” Colleen noted grimly. “With no idea where Davos is.”

 

“Yeah,” Claire agreed with a grimace. “Can’t be helped. All we can do is push forward. I don’t know how likely it is, but if we can find out anything useful about the Rands and Madam Gao, then that could lead to her which could also lead us to him.”

 

“Do we tell them _everything_ that happened with Davos?” Colleen asked tentatively.

 

“You mean… the attempted assault and the history of sexual abuse?” Claire asked. Colleen nodded, flinching a little. It was still hard to hear it laid out so baldly. “I don’t know… it should be Danny’s to tell, but they also need to understand just how dangerous Davos is. We’ll have to give them the bare bones of it at the very least, I guess.” She didn’t look very happy about it.

 

The car pulled up in front of the Rand building and they got out, thanking the driver, the same woman who had driven them to the dojo the day before. Up on the 45th floor they were greeted by Megan, who inquired anxiously after Danny.

 

“Things are kind of rough right now,” Colleen told her honestly, figuring it was the least she deserved for how much she cared about him. “But we’re looking after him.”

 

“Please tell him I hope he feels better,” Megan said sincerely. “I… I have both friends and family members that suffer from mental health issues. I understand.”

 

“Thank you, that’ll mean a lot to him,” Colleen said warmly. “We… we got some advance warning that a story was going to be coming out about him in the Bulletin, so he’s going to need all the support he can get.”

 

“Oh, God,” Megan said, looking stricken. “Well, he definitely has mine. Anything I can do, just ask. Ward said you could go on in when you arrived.” They thanked her and headed to Ward’s office, where they found Ward and Joy seated on the couch in the sitting area, tea and a light lunch spread out on the coffee table in front of them. Colleen and Claire sat in the armchairs facing the couch and though they each accepted a mug of tea, they declined the offer of food in the interest of getting straight to business.

 

“So what was so important? Does it have something to do with the explosion at the Lotte?” Ward asked.

 

“So you do know about that,” Claire said.

 

“I saw the story after you texted,” Ward confirmed. “I would have called for an explanation if we didn’t already have this meeting arranged. It had something to do with Davos, I assume? You said Danny was okay, right?”

 

“He’s okay now,” Claire said. “He went to the Lotte this morning to confront Davos himself, about the conversation he had with Joy and… other things.”

 

“Other things?” Ward asked, his eyes narrowing.

 

“Personal stuff, from when they were growing up together in K’un Lun,” Colleen said. “It… it didn’t go well and they ended up fighting. Danny was injured pretty badly but was able to use chi to heal himself afterwards. Davos… got away. One of the lawyers from Hogarth’s firm, Foggy Nelson, is already working on the legal ramifications of the property damage.”

 

“Damn,” Joy said, her eyes wide. “You’re sure Danny’s okay?”

 

“Physically he seems to be, though he wouldn’t agree to get checked out. If I hadn’t witnessed the power of that chi healing myself I’d never believe it,” Claire said. “But… he is having a hard time with what happened.” She paused, looking a little lost for words, and Colleen jumped in.

 

“Davos confirmed that he was serious about the offer he made to Joy, which was very... upsetting for him,” she said. “Part of him had still been holding out hope that deep down Davos hadn’t really meant it and things between them could still be worked out.”

 

“I can’t even imagine what he must be going through,” Joy said sadly. “They were really close growing up, weren’t they?”

 

“That’s the other thing,” Colleen said, exchanging a look with Claire. “The… the personal stuff. A lot of things have come to light the past couple of days, and it turns out Danny was… was in some pretty deep denial as to what their relationship was really like. Davos has been manipulating and using him since they were kids. It’s been… pretty devastating for Danny to process.”

 

“God, that’s terrible,” Joy said, looking aghast.

 

“The situation has changed, too,” Claire said. “Davos doesn’t want Danny dead anymore, but he’s still very dangerous. We have no solid reason to think he might try to involve either of you again, but we also have no idea what he might do next, so anything’s possible.”

 

“There’s something you’re not telling us,” Ward said, regarding them critically. “What exactly is this personal stuff? And if he doesn’t want Danny dead anymore then what is Davos after that still makes him a threat?”

 

Colleen and Claire shared another uneasy look.

 

“The details of the personal stuff are Danny’s to tell,” Colleen finally said. “But trust us when we say that Davos is still _very_ dangerous. He’s… _obsessed_ with Danny. He… he wants him at his side, but... under his control.”

 

“At his side,” Joy said flatly. “You mean… together? Like in a relationship?”

 

“Sort of,” Claire hedged. “Except that it’s one-sided on Davos’ part. Danny said no and Davos... reacted badly. It’s what led to the fight this morning. He… he wasn’t willing to take ‘no’ for an answer.”

 

“Oh… oh, my God,” Joy said, and Colleen saw the horror descend over her face the moment it all seemed to click. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying? Is… is _that_ the personal stuff from growing up you were talking about? There’s… history?”

 

“Jesus,” Ward muttered, rubbing a hand over his face. It had clearly clicked for him, too.

 

“Like we said, the details really are Danny’s to share,” Claire said softly. “But basically yes, there’s some… some pretty messed up history.”

 

“God. That… that _creep,”_ Joy seethed, shuddering. Ward reached over to rub her back soothingly, his face grim. “He gave me a bad vibe but I never even suspected….”

 

“So he doesn’t want to kill Danny, but he does want to… to _kidnap_ him and… and keep him prisoner, then?” Ward asked darkly. Claire nodded. “Jesus,” he said again, his expression grim and horrified.

 

“Unfortunately we didn’t just come to update you guys on what happened at the Lotte,” Claire said with a sigh. “There’s more.”

 

“More?” Ward said, raising his eyebrows.

 

“Matt got a warning from his friend Karen at the Bulletin,” Claire said. “One of her co-workers received a bunch of info from an anonymous source. Apparently it’s all kinds of stuff about Danny’s alleged mental instability. The story should be breaking any time now.” Ward and Joy looked at each other, the expressions on their faces a mix of alarm and dismay. Joy grabbed her phone from the table.

 

“I can’t imagine Danny’s taking that very well,” Ward said with a sigh. “And this anonymous source, you think it’s Davos?”

 

“Well, Gao, actually,” Colleen said. “What with the timing, and the resources that this person had access to, it can’t have been anyone but her.”

 

“It’s not out yet,” Joy said, looking up from her phone. “I can alert the PR department to start preparing. Has… has Danny said anything about how he wants it handled? A statement, a denial, anything like that?”

 

“We don’t know yet,” Claire sighed. “He seemed rather in shock about it before we left. He’s going to need some time. And, well, it’ll also likely depend on what exactly the article actually says. But it’s probably going to be bad. Karen told Matt they knew all kinds of confidential details about what happened at Birch. They also knew about more recent stuff, like him punching the hole in his office wall.”

 

“How the hell could they know about that?” Ward asked, frowning. “It’s already been fixed. The only ones who knew were us, Megan, and a couple of maintenance workers.”

 

“Well, I’d check out those maintenance workers if I were you, because there’s no way it was Megan,” Colleen said.

 

“Of course it wasn’t,” Ward said. “Even if she didn’t adore Danny, which she does, she’s proven her loyalty and her ability to be discreet more times than I can count. I wouldn’t suspect her.”

 

“It doesn’t really matter who the info came from,” Joy said. “What could Gao hope to gain from doing this?”

 

“And that is ultimately why we’re here,” Colleen said. “We’re trying to figure out what Gao’s motivations are in being involved in all this. She’s working with Davos but also warned us to go help Danny this morning, which doesn’t make sense. Now she’s stirring up all this mess in the media. It seems crazy to think that if she just wanted to defeat the Iron Fist her plan would need to be so… convoluted.”

 

“How can we help?” Ward asked.

 

“We know Gao knew your father, but she claimed to know Danny’s parents as well,” Colleen said. “Even just her being involved with Harold and helping him arrange the plane crash is a pretty insane coincidence, but if she was also involved with his parents before they died… then, well, she’s been messing around in Danny’s life since he was a kid. With everything she’s doing now, it feels like it _has_ to be relevant.”

 

“We were just hoping you could tell us anything you remember about Wendell and Heather,” Claire said. “Anything at all that might have seemed... strange. I know it’s a pretty vague request, and that you guys were still young when they died, but we’re kind of grasping at straws here.”

 

“And, well, Danny doesn’t talk about his parents all that much, beyond their deaths, so we don’t know much about them, and there aren’t many people to ask,” Colleen said sadly.

 

Ward and Joy exchanged another look, which made alarm bells start to ring in the back of Colleen’s mind. She and Claire exchanged a look of their own.

 

“Your timing is kind of funny, actually,” Joy said. “When I talked to Danny the other day about my realization that Dad wasn’t the person I’d thought he was and how when we lose our parents when we’re young we often end up having idealized versions of them in our minds, it seemed to make him uncomfortable. It made me remember some things I hadn’t thought about in a long time.”

 

“What kinds of things?” Colleen asked intently, sitting forward. She’d half expected that all Ward and Joy would be able to say was that the Rands were lovely people and nothing unusual had been going on. But now she felt… uneasy.

 

“Well, there was one specific thing that came to mind from when I was about eight,” Joy began. “Our nanny April brought Ward and I to Rand one day after school because Dad had plans to take us out for dinner and a show. When we got there Dad was in a meeting with Wendell but I snuck over to listen at the door while April chatted with the assistant. Just a dumb kid thing to do, and I didn’t really expect to hear anything interesting, but they were talking about Danny. Dad was complaining about Wendell bringing Danny to the office so often and just letting him run around. Wendell argued that Danny was a good kid and hardly ever caused trouble. And then he said something that I can’t believe I ever forgot.” Joy paused, frowning a little.

 

“What did he say?” Colleen pressed anxiously.

 

“He said… he said he brought Danny to the office sometimes because he was afraid to leave him home alone with Heather when she was in one of her moods,” Joy said.

 

“One… one of her _moods?”_ Colleen asked, blinking. “What does that mean?”

 

“I’m not really sure,” Joy said, looking to Ward. “I remember she used to get a lot of headaches….”

 

“Headaches were the explanation they usually gave Danny when he spent the day at Rand instead of at home with her,” Ward confirmed.

 

“Do you remember anything else they said?” Claire asked.

 

“Dad said that if he was so worried about it, he should just hire a nanny or other staff to help out,” Joy replied. “But Wendell said Heather refused, didn’t want to have someone else ‘raising’ him, as she put it. She… she was pretty protective of Danny. I doubt very much she knew Wendell basically let him run wild at Rand.”

 

“Protective is an understatement,” Ward said drily. “She pretty much never wanted Danny out of her sight, unless he was with Wendell. She wouldn’t let Danny go to school, insisted on home schooling him herself. I remember it took some convincing from Wendell to allow extra tutors for things like art and music, and even then she wouldn’t leave the room when they were with him.”

 

“Wow,” Claire muttered.

 

“Danny had to beg her for weeks to let him join my soccer team,” Joy said thoughtfully. “Wendell finally had to intervene, then, too. But then she pulled him the first time he got hurt, even though it was nothing serious. It’s like… it’s like she didn’t want him being around other people. We were a part of his life because of our fathers’ friendship, but there was no one else. No other kids he ever had contact with. I guess it’s just never really dawned on me until now just how strange that was. It’s no wonder he loved the days he spent running around Rand so much. It must have been… lonely sometimes, it just being him and his mother alone at home so much of the time.”

 

Colleen could do little more than stare at her, feeling stunned. She’d known Danny had been home schooled, but she’d had no idea just how isolated he’d really been. No other friends besides Joy and Ward, and Ward had bullied him a lot back then. And an incredibly overprotective mother who’d apparently had ‘moods’ that made his father _afraid_ to leave Danny alone with her sometimes.

 

It was chilling to contemplate.

 

“The strangest thing about how… _intense_ she was about Danny is that she wasn’t always like that, though,” Ward said, drawing Colleen out of her reverie.

 

“What do you mean?” Claire asked.

 

“Well, my memories aren’t super clear because I was only five, but I remember that for a very long time after Danny was born, for years, actually, she didn’t seem to want anything to do with him,” Ward said grimly. Colleen gaped at him. That… that just didn’t seem possible.

 

“How so?” Claire asked, frowning. Joy looked pretty surprised as well, but Colleen realized she would only have been a baby herself then.

 

“Joy had only been born a few months before,” Ward said, seeming to echo Colleen’s thoughts. “And our mother adored her and doted on her all the time. So the difference between how she was with Joy and how Heather was with Danny showed pretty clearly even to someone as young as me. The Rands did have a nanny then, and Heather basically left everything to her. Feeding, changing, playing with him. I don’t think I ever saw her interact with him in any significant way, not even just to hold him.”

 

“Postpartum depression?” Claire suggested. Ward shrugged.

 

“Like I said, I was really young myself,” Ward said. He frowned thoughtfully. “I remember once, not… not long before Mom started getting sick, so Joy and Danny would have been about three. We were over at their house, and Mom had Joy in her lap while she and Heather were talking and Danny came into the room and went to Heather, holding some toy or something he wanted to show her. He tugged on her pant leg to get her attention and she jerked away from him almost like she was disgusted and screamed for the nanny to come get him. The look on his face… I remember feeling really sorry for him.”

 

Colleen’s mind was reeling. None of what she was hearing matched the picture of the happy family she’d had in her mind. Nothing Danny had ever said in the few stories he’d told about them even hinted at anything like this.

 

But then again, he’d told happy stories about Davos, too. Another chilling thought.

 

“So what changed?” Claire asked.

 

“I don’t know, but it happened almost overnight,” Ward said. “When Danny was about four or five, suddenly the nanny was fired and Heather completely took over looking after him. It was like a switch had been flipped. She went from… from almost seeming to _hate_ him to him being the shining center of her world. Almost… almost like she was obsessed.” Ward paused, looking a little embarrassed. “Mom had been dead for several months at that point, and Dad had been starting to get really bad, so I couldn’t help but be jealous of all the love and attention Danny was suddenly getting, and I started being a jerk to him. It seems even more petty now, remembering the circumstances.”

 

“Since you and Danny have already hashed out those issues and he’s forgiven you, you should probably stop beating yourself up about it,” Joy said, reaching over to rub his shoulder. He smiled at her ruefully.

 

“Anyway, that was how she was from then on, until the crash, obviously,” Ward continued. “Like some kind of extremely overprotective helicopter parent. I remember she and Wendell fought about it sometimes, but mostly he just seemed to let her do whatever she wanted. Probably just relieved she finally cared about him at all. And bringing it back around to what we were discussing earlier, yeah, there would be days when she would have ‘headaches’ and Wendell would bring Danny to Rand for the day. Now that I’m thinking about it, I remember Dad making some snide comments about those headaches sometimes, like he was implying they weren’t headaches at all.”

 

“Do you think he was implying she was mentally unstable?” Claire asked somberly.

 

“Possibly,” Ward said with another shrug. “I mean, this all doesn’t sound much like the actions of a person who’s mentally _stable,_ do they? And, well, she could be… intense.”

 

“I remember the intensity,” Joy said, nodding. “Flashes of extreme emotion that would be there one minute and gone the next. It actually freaked me out a bit a few times but it wouldn’t even make Danny blink, like… like he was used to it. And he _adored_ her. Practically worshipped the ground she walked on.” She glanced at Ward thoughtfully. “I guess I never really thought about it before, but I think I do remember it being different when we were _really_ young. That there was a nanny around instead of her. And if she was so cold and indifferent to Danny when he was younger, I guess it’s not very surprising that he would latch onto her so tightly once her behaviour changed dramatically and she started giving him so much attention.”

 

They were all quiet for a moment, each of them ruminating over the implications of everything they’d discussed.

 

“So, this would have been over five years before the crash that this 180 degree change in her behaviour happened,” Claire said thoughtfully. “Do you think it’s possible Gao had already been in contact with Harold at that point?”

 

“I don’t know,” Ward said. “I always had the impression that he wasn’t approached by the Hand until his cancer diagnosis, but he was never actually specific about it.” He frowned. “You… you think Gao might have had something to do with Heather’s attitude change? Way back then? But… how? And why?”

 

“I have no idea,” Claire said with a sigh. “It definitely seems like it should be impossible. But we came here wondering if something strange had been going on back then, and honestly I thought it was a long shot. But, well, a mother having no connection to her child for almost five years and then flipping overnight into being loving but also extremely overprotective… that’s pretty freaking strange. I have no idea how or why… but it can’t be a coincidence. I… I feel it in my bones.”

 

“I feel it, too,” Colleen said grimly. “Gao was involved somehow, I just know it.”

 

“But how could she have known way back then that Danny would be significant to her?” Joy asked, blinking. “And… what could she have done or said to Heather that would make her change like that? It’s… it’s crazy.”

 

“The Hand specializes in crazy,” Ward said drily. He eyed Colleen and Claire for a moment, his brow furrowed contemplatively. “It _should_ be impossible that Gao had anything to do with it. But the impossible keeps happening when the Hand is involved, doesn’t it?”

 

“It sure does,” Claire said with a sigh.

 

“Dad _came back to life_ because of the Hand. They turned him into a monster that couldn’t die,” Ward said grimly. “I think… I think we have no idea what else they could be capable of.”

 

“That was pretty much our line of reasoning in pursuing this, too,” Colleen said.

 

“We still have a record of all the companies that we know were related to the Hand,” Ward said, standing up. “I’ll do some digging and see if I can determine when exactly we did business with any of them for the first time. There’s no guarantee that Gao had openly made contact with anyone at that point, but it could give us an idea at least of when she appeared on the radar.”

 

“That would be great, Ward, thank you,” Claire said as she and Colleen rose to their feet as well. They’d been talking for awhile and Ward and Joy likely had work to be getting back to.

 

“And I’ll get the PR department working on that response,” Joy said, checking her phone again. “Until we can get some further direction from Danny, the best approach will probably be vague assurances that everything is fine with the company and that any personal matters are just that - personal.” She looked up at them, her face creased with worry. “Anything that Danny needs to help deal with this, absolutely anything, just ask. We have resources he might not think of, like crisis management teams and PR specialists who could help him write a press release, things like that.”

 

“We’ll tell him,” Colleen said. “And thank you, we really appreciate it.”

 

“He’s undoubtedly going to be feeling guilty about the company getting bad press,” Ward said with a sigh. “Assure him we don’t care about that. Like Joy said, we have people who’s entire jobs are dealing with the media. We just want _him_ to be okay. So yes, anything he needs, not just from the company resources, but from us, too.”

 

“Thank you,” Colleen said, swallowing back the sudden lump in her throat. So many people cared about Danny, and he was usually totally oblivious to it.

 

She tried to picture little toddler Danny, being violently rejected by his mother, and it hurt her heart so much she quickly dismissed the image. What kind of an effect could that have had on a child, especially someone as sensitive as Danny? And then to have that parent turn around and suddenly become warm and loving and protective…. It must have been confusing, to say the least. She had little doubt that it had to have been a major contributing factor to how much he desperately craved approval and affection from people, but also often didn’t recognize it when he got it.

 

“Oh, one more thing,” Claire said as they were about to leave. “Danny’s phone got broken during the incident at the Lotte.”

 

“Danny goes through a lot of phones,” Ward said with a wry smile. “I’ll have Megan arrange a new one. It should be delivered to the penthouse before the end of the day.”

 

With that Colleen and Claire took their leave, Colleen texting the car service to pick them up during the elevator ride down. They didn’t have long to wait before the car arrived, and they settled into the back for the short drive back to the penthouse. Colleen pressed the button to raise the privacy screen, though neither of them said anything for a moment.

 

Colleen’s mind was still reeling from all the implications of what they’d discovered. Like Claire, she’d thought that finding out anything actually useful from Ward and Joy had been a bit of a long shot. But they’d ended up opening up a whole new can of worms. She didn’t think she’d ever be able to wrap her mind around it, that Danny’s mother, whom he loved and adored and idolized so much, could have rejected him for the first several years of his life.

 

“Do… do you think Danny remembers that?” she asked softly. “His mother being so cold to him, and then changing so suddenly?”

 

“I don’t know,” Claire said sadly. “He was still pretty young when she changed. It wouldn’t be surprising if he… if he repressed the earlier memories for the most part.”

 

“He loves her so much,” Colleen said, her heart clenching in her chest. “Do… do we even ask him about this? What if he really doesn’t remember? It could… it could be devastating to him to bring it all back up.”

 

“I don’t see how we can keep it from him,” Claire sighed, looking none too happy about it. “We can’t start doing that. It would be a slippery slope, and this whole thing depends on us all being able to really trust each other. And… it’s relevant, somehow, to what’s going on now. We both feel it. We’ll have to discuss it with him at some point.”

 

“Oh, God,” Colleen said, ice-cold horror flushing through her veins as a new thought occurred to her. “You know what this all kind of implies, if we’re right about it being relevant?”

 

“What?” Claire asked, her eyes widening at Colleen’s obvious distress.

 

“That… that the only reason Danny’s mother loved him was… was because Gao interfered somehow,” Colleen said. She could feel hysteria creeping up on her and tried to push it back. It was a losing battle. “That’s where this seems to be leading, isn’t it?” she said, her voice cracking. Claire stared at her for a moment, horror dawning on her own face.

 

“Oh, fuck,” she said in dismay.

 

“Danny… Danny’s going to completely freak out,” Colleen said, panic closing up her lungs, making her gasp for breath. “He’ll be _beyond_ devastated. This… this will _destroy_ him. He won’t… he won’t be able to handle it. This is it… this will push him completely… completely over the edge. Oh, my God.” Tears were suddenly pouring down her face and she couldn’t freaking _breathe._

 

She could _lose_ Danny. A horrible screeching seemed to fill her mind at the thought. She _couldn’t_ lose him. She just couldn’t. She’d lose herself, too.

 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Claire said, undoing her seatbelt to slide over and put an arm around Colleen’s shoulders and take one of her hands in her own. “Take deep, slow breaths. C’mon, you can do it. Slowly in… slowly out… that’s it.” She continued to murmur comfortingly as Colleen struggled to comply with her instructions and slowly managed to bring herself back into a semblance of control. “There we go, you’re okay, I’ve got you,” Claire said softly, hugging her close.

 

“I’m… I’m sorry,” Colleen said, feeling completely drained. Claire’s arm around her, her hand holding hers, they felt like a tether, keeping her grounded. She felt a swell of grateful affection and squeezed Claire’s hand.

 

“No need to apologize,” Claire murmured, their faces so close her breath ghosted across Colleen’s cheek. “I think you were overdo for a freak-out. And whatever happens, whatever role Gao may or may not have played with Heather’s sudden transformation, it won’t destroy Danny, I promise. We won’t _let_ it.”

 

Colleen could hear the steely determination in Claire’s voice, and she couldn’t help but believe her. She looked up at her, the close proximity allowing her to see the fine lines around her eyes that spoke of care rather than age. It was who Claire was, she _took care_ of people. Their eyes met and they stared at each other for a moment, something warm and indescribable passing between them. They moved at the same time to close the gap and bring their lips together in a kiss.

 

A feeling of… of _softness_ flushed through Colleen’s body. Softness and warmth and love.

 

When they pulled back they just looked at each other again for another moment, both of them rather starry-eyed.

 

“I don’t know what we’d do without you,” Colleen found herself saying in a rush. “We love you, you know. You and Luke. And… and the others, too. I… I don’t really get it, but it’s true.”

 

“We love you, too,” Claire said, her smile warm and radiant. Colleen basked in its glow. “I don’t really understand what’s going on either. All I know is that it feels… right, somehow. And… I think it's going to make us stronger. I guess we’re all going to have to talk about it, at some point.” Colleen nodded her agreement, feeling a little dazed.

 

The car pulled up outside Danny’s building and they got out. The doorman recognized them and waved them on through. Claire pulled her phone out of her pocket as they stepped into the elevator.

 

“We should order a bunch of food for a late lunch. We really need to get Danny to eat something substantial,” she said.

 

“I’ve been worried about that, too,” Colleen said.

 

“Oh, no,” Claire said, grimacing. She looked up from her phone in dismay and Colleen felt her stomach drop, knowing what she was about to say.

 

“The story’s out.”

 

TBC


	24. Luke

Luke blinked awake, surprised to discover that he’d drifted off to sleep. He hadn’t really intended to, but then they’d all had an early start that morning and it had just been so comfortable, lying there with Danny in his arms….

 

Speaking of Danny, Luke realized he was no longer lying next to him. He looked around and quickly found him sitting on the edge of the bed, facing away from him. He was speaking in a low voice. It must have been what had woken him.

 

“It wasn’t my fault,” Danny said urgently, and Luke sat up, frowning. “That’s not _true,”_ Danny continued, his voice cracking. He leaned forward, his hands fisting in his hair as he shook his head.

 

“Danny?” Luke asked carefully. Danny didn’t seem to hear him.

 

“I’m sorry. I’m _sorry,”_ Danny moaned, his hands gripping his hair tighter.

 

“Hey, Danny, it’s okay,” Luke said uncertainly, reaching out towards him but stopping short of putting his hand on his shoulder. He was clearly upset and might react badly to being touched without warning. Danny turned to look at him, his face startlingly pale and his eyes red and shining with unshed tears. Something about his gaze was faraway and unfocused. It made Luke feel… uneasy.

 

“Zou Yin, please tell Lei Kung I’m sorry,” Danny said desperately. “I… I don’t want to be punished again. _Please.”_ His voice was plaintive and scared and… _young._ He sounded very young.

 

Luke blinked at him, feeling utterly lost. Danny was clearly hallucinating something, but he also didn’t seem to recognize Luke, which wasn’t something that either he or Colleen had ever mentioned happening before. How the hell was he supposed to handle this? Danny seemed… he seemed lost in some memory. Luke slid off the other side of the bed and walked around so that he could face him properly. Danny watched him approach with wide, fearful eyes, his arms wrapping around himself in a defensive posture. It made Luke’s heart ache.

 

“It’s me, Danny,” Luke said gently, spreading his hands in a non-threatening gesture. “It’s Luke.”

 

“Please, I didn’t mean to mess up again,” Danny pleaded. “Zou Yin, you have to tell him. I’ll try harder, I _promise.”_ He slid down onto the floor on his knees, bowing low with his forehead touching the carpet in a pose of supplication that made Luke’s stomach twist. “I’ll do extra training, extra chores, _anything,_ please, please just don’t… don’t….”

 

Luke had heard enough. He dropped down to the floor as well and gently tugged on Danny’s shoulders until he was sitting up again. Tears had started to track down his face and he was shuddering with barely repressed sobs. He was _terrified._

 

“Danny, it’s _Luke,”_ he said firmly. “You’re in New York. No one’s going to… to punish you. You’re _safe.”_

 

“He’s so mad,” Danny cried, covering his face with his hands. “I always make him so _mad_ …. He’s going to… to….”

 

“Danny, look at me!” Luke said urgently, giving him a slight shake. Danny’s hands dropped and his gaze finally met Luke’s, his eyes wide with fear. Luke grit his teeth, forcing himself to remain calm despite how scared he was himself. He didn’t want to upset Danny even more, but he _had_ to get through to him. “Look around at the room. You’re not in K’un Lun. This is your penthouse in New York City. And I’m your friend, Luke. You’re _safe_ , Danny, I promise.” Danny blinked at him for a moment before slowly looking around as instructed. Then he looked back at Luke and something seemed to be shifting in his eyes, like fog clearing.

 

“L-Luke?” he asked, his voice thick and confused.

 

“Yes! Yes, it’s me, Luke,” Luke replied, feeling a swooping rush of relief so intense if left him a little light-headed. “Everything’s okay, Danny. You’re okay.” He pulled Danny into a fierce embrace and Danny clung back just as tightly for a moment before starting to pull away. Luke let him go reluctantly, feeling a little shaky. That… that had really rattled him. Danny wiped at his tear-damp face, looking around at the room again, still seeming confused.

 

“Was… was I dreaming?” he asked, but then he frowned. “No… I….” He blinked a few more times and then realization - and horror - started to creep over his face. “I… I thought I was back in K’un Lun. I… I _really_ thought I was there….” Luke started to reach for him again but Danny jerked back, scrambling gracelessly to his feet, his hands coming up to grip his hair again and his breath coming in increasingly harsh gasps. Luke rose to his feet as well, once again finding himself holding out his hands in a non-threatening gesture.

 

“It’s okay, Danny, just breathe,” he said. Danny looked at him, his eyes wild.

 

“I… I looked right at you,” he gasped. “I looked right at you and… and thought you were Zou Yin, back at the monastery… I thought… it felt so _real….”_

 

“Everything’s going to be okay, Danny,” Luke said, feeling extraordinarily helpless. How was he supposed to help Danny when he was pretty freaked out himself?

 

“But I couldn’t _tell,_ Luke,” Danny said, anguished. “It wasn’t real and I _couldn’t tell.”_ He looked ready to fly apart at the seams, spinning away from Luke and stumbling a little into the night table, almost falling over, before finally ending up leaning with his back against the wall. He covered his face with his hands, shuddering violently, before suddenly slamming his head back against the wall and then hitting his fists against his thighs hard enough for Luke to hear the thud of the impact.

 

“Hey, hey, don’t do that,” Luke said, rushing forward. “Don’t hurt yourself. There’s nothing worth doing that over.” He tentatively reached out to take hold of Danny’s arms and pull him against him. Danny went without resisting, burying his face against Luke’s shoulder, his whole body shaking with emotion.

 

“I guess something like that’s never happened before?” Luke asked softly, rubbing Danny’s back.

 

“No. Not like that,” Danny mumbled. He shuddered even more strongly. “I… I don’t know what’s happening to me.”

 

“It’s okay to be scared,” Luke said. “It scared me, too. But it’ll be okay. I promise.” Danny nodded miserably, his face still pressed against Luke’s shoulder. They stood like that for a long time, Luke slowly running his hand up and down Danny’s back while he tried to bring himself back under control. For his part, Luke’s mind was still reeling. The total lack of recognition in Danny’s eyes had been incredibly frightening. He’d managed to bring him back around this time, but what if Danny had been alone? How long might he have been trapped in that clearly upsetting delusion with no one to snap him out of it? And… and what if it happened again?

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Luke asked quietly after Danny’s shaking had finally subsided. “What… whatever it was you were seeing? You sounded really scared.” Danny turned his head a little to speak more freely but otherwise didn’t pull back from Luke’s embrace.

 

“It was K’un Lun,” Danny said dully. “Not… not long after the crash. I was still… adjusting, and I wasn’t… I wasn’t used to the punishments yet. They… they scared me. I got better, I swear.”

 

Luke frowned at this, trying to parse out the underlying meaning behind the odd choice of words. He ‘got better’, as in... didn’t get punished as often? No, he didn’t think that was it. And then realization struck and Luke hissed in a sharp breath.

 

Danny was _embarrassed_ that he’d been scared, that he’d been begging not to be punished. He was probably saying that once he got ‘used to’ the punishments, he no longer reacted in a way that he likely thought of as weak and shameful.

 

Luke thought of the abject terror that had been on Danny’s face, in his voice. He thought of Claire and Colleen’s assertions that the so-called training in K’un Lun had crossed the line into abuse and felt the truth of it, despite the reluctance Danny had shown to call it that. If that had been the kind of fear it could inspire, it couldn’t have been anything _but_ abuse. He suddenly remembered, too, the comment Davos had made when he’d visited the dojo, that the other students had made bets as to whether Danny would ‘survive’ the first time he’d been disciplined. Luke had thought it hyperbole at the time, but now he couldn’t help but wonder.

 

“The punishments… they were beatings?” Luke asked carefully. He felt Danny tense a little bit but he didn’t pull away. After a moment he nodded. “Bad?” Luke asked. Danny seemed to hunch in on himself a little, leaning more heavily against him and Luke tightened his embrace. Finally, Danny gave another sharp nod.

 

“A-after the first time… I… I could barely move for three days,” Danny mumbled.

 

Luke’s heart stuttered in his chest. Danny had been _ten years old_ then. What kind of monsters had those monks been?

 

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that, Danny,” Luke said softly. “You didn’t deserve it.” Danny twitched a little in his embrace but remained silent. “And you definitely don’t need to be embarrassed about being scared. I would have been terrified. Anyone would have been.” Danny sighed heavily and Luke knew he was far from convinced. But you didn’t undo years of damage overnight. They’d just have to keep telling him as often as it took.

 

He suddenly noticed the soft murmur of voices out in the living room and realized Claire and Colleen must have returned.

 

“Hey,” he said. “Sounds like the girls are back. Think you’re up to going out there?”

 

Danny stepped back with another deep sigh, looking so tired and pale and wrung out that it broke Luke’s heart. He found himself wondering if it was going to take some heavy duty sedatives for Danny to finally get some decent rest, but of course it was a moot point as he’d never agree to take them.

 

“Okay, but… you can go on out first,” Danny said. “I’m just going to go wash my face and stuff.” Luke peered at him for a moment and he mustered a small, strained smile. “I’ll be okay alone for a few minutes, I promise. And Matt’s listening, right?”

 

“Sounds kind of creepy when you put it like that,” Luke muttered, but he conceded the point. He started to head for the door but couldn’t resist the sudden impulse to reach out and ruffle Danny’s hair first. Danny blinked at him in surprise for a moment before he flushed a little, looking both pleased and embarrassed by the affectionate gesture.

 

Out in the main room Luke found the others gathered around the island counter in the kitchen, Claire and Jessica both intently reading something on their phones. His stomach sank. Luke had a feeling he knew what they were reading.

 

“You okay?” Matt asked him somberly. “That was… rough.”

 

“Understatement,” Luke sighed. “But yeah, I’m okay. It’s Danny we need to worry about.”

 

“I think you handled it pretty well, considering,” Matt said. “I tried not to eavesdrop too much but I wanted to be aware if you needed help with him. I already filled in the others on what happened.”

 

“He really didn’t recognize you? At all?” Colleen asked anxiously.

 

“Nope. Was calling me by another name and everything. He was convinced he was back in K’un Lun, reliving a memory,” Luke said, feeling chilled all over again.

 

“As far as I know, he’s always been able to tell when he’s hallucinating, or at least he realizes it quite quickly,” Colleen said, looking scared. She turned to Claire. “This… this is another step towards a possible full psychotic break, isn’t it?”

 

“It’s definitely alarming… but we did know things could get worse before they got better,” Claire said grimly.

 

“So it could happen again,” Luke stated flatly. “Or even get worse.” Claire nodded.

 

“Oh, God,” Colleen moaned, covering her face with her hands. Luke reached out to squeeze her shoulder.

 

“I’m not going to tell you it wasn’t scary, because it was, but no matter what happens we’re going to look after him, okay?” he said. She nodded, looking pretty pale and tired herself. “What about you guys? Were Ward and Joy able to tell you anything?”

 

“Yeah, we were just telling Matt and Jessica,” Colleen said, glancing back down the hallway. “We all agreed to wait until after they talk to Hogarth and maybe get some corroboration before we bring it up with Danny, but… they told us some pretty crazy things. Apparently Heather completely rejected Danny for years before suddenly changing her tune overnight. But she went from one extreme to the other, becoming incredibly overprotective.”

 

“That’s… unexpected,” Luke said, blinking at her in surprise. He’d gotten the impression that Danny had always been really close to his mother.

 

“Tell me about it,” Colleen muttered. “She also kept him really isolated from other people, and there were some other things, too, that suggest she might have been… unstable.”

 

“Before you mention it, experts still argue over just how strong a role heredity can play in mental illness,” Claire said. “Some people argue that it can seem to run in families because of the shared unhealthy environment rather than the genes. Nurture vs nature and all that. But most believe it’s a combination of genes and countless other factors as well, including your environment.”

 

“It’s all supposition based on the memories of children at this point,” Matt pointed out. “We’ll see what Hogarth has to say.”

 

“That the article?” Luke asked, gesturing at Claire and Jessica’s phones. Claire nodded. “How bad is it?”

 

“Pretty bad,” Claire said grimly.

 

“It’s… it’s out?” Danny asked anxiously, suddenly appearing from the hallway. In the brighter light of the main room he looked more pale and washed out than ever, and the oversized sweater he was wearing almost seemed to swallow him up. He was staring at the phone in Claire’s hand like it was a snake about to strike.

 

“Yeah, Danny, it is,” Colleen said softly, approaching him to put a comforting hand on his arm. “Do… do you want to read it?” He continued to stare at Claire’s phone for a moment before slowly shaking his head.

 

“Probably a good call,” Jessica muttered. Claire shot her an annoyed look and she shrugged.

 

“And… it’s bad?” Danny asked, wrapping his arms around himself in a defensive posture.

 

“Gao’s resources are impressive,” Claire said grimly. “She or whoever was working for her clearly had inside access to Birch, given the detail here. They must have either spoken to the doctor or had access to his notes. Neither K’un Lun nor the Iron Fist are mentioned by name, but it does say how you claimed to have been in another dimension for fifteen years and to have the ability to summon a special weapon in your fist.”

 

“Seriously, what the hell were you thinking, saying something like that to a psychiatrist?” Jessica groused. “You _had_ to know how it would sound.” Danny flinched, his face flushing as he looked away.

 

“Jess!” Luke said sharply, frowning. Blame was the last thing Danny needed to hear, though a small part of him couldn’t help but wonder the same.

 

“I’m sorry for sounding so harsh, but c’mon!” Jessica said, throwing her hands in the air.

 

“That’s really not important right now, Jessica,” Matt said diplomatically.

 

“He’d… he’d just told me that he believed me,” Danny said quietly without looking up, bringing a sudden end to the brewing argument. “He believed I was really Danny Rand. I… I was so happy and relieved. _No one_ would believe me.” He paused, grimacing.  “I know it was stupid, but I was just so excited that someone finally did, and… and I was so out of it because of all the drugs they kept giving me. It just… kind of all spilled out.”

 

They were all quiet for a moment, digesting that revelation. Luke was suddenly struck by just how incredibly terrible it must have been, trapped in a mental hospital and drugged insensible, with no friends or family to turn to, and no one believing who you really were. It was… horrifying. He found himself with a new appreciation of Danny’s aversion to hospitals and drugs.

 

“Oh,” Jessica finally said, looking abashed.

 

“He told me none of it was real,” Danny suddenly continued, his voice sounding odd and distant. “K’un Lun, the Iron Fist… he said they were a false reality I created to deal with trauma. He called it an anxiety disorder with… with psychotic features.” He shifted uncomfortably, shrinking in on himself as if he was trying to disappear. “For… for a little while… I was scared he was right,” he said quietly.

 

Stunned silence reigned again. Luke remembered that Colleen had said Danny’s hallucinations had started years ago. He would have already have been having them long before he’d been in Birch. So… to not only be trapped and alone with no one to turn to, but to also have that history of mental illness giving you the fear that maybe they were _right._ That maybe everything you believed to be true, that your very identity, was a _lie._

 

God, if he hadn’t escaped… if he’d been there indefinitely… would he really have started to believe that K’un Lun, that fifteen years of his life, had all been a delusion? It was chilling to even contemplate. Luke couldn’t even begin to fathom what that would be like, to have the very fabric of his reality called into question.

 

Which, he realized with a fresh flush of horror, was exactly what Danny went through every time he hallucinated. And it only seemed to be getting worse.

 

“I’m sorry, Danny,” Colleen said softly, rubbing his arm. “I should have done more to help you then.”

 

“It’s not your fault,” Danny said distantly. “I was a stranger to you then.”

 

“Well, there’s more stuff from Birch,” Claire continued with a sigh. “Eyewitness accounts of violent outbursts from staff wishing to remain anonymous. Destroying the doctor’s computer, fighting the orderlies, injuring other patients… all painting a picture of a dangerously unstable person.”

 

Danny flinched, stepping away from Colleen to face the living room, putting his back to her and the others. Colleen watched helplessly, her face stricken.

 

“Before anyone jumps down my throat, I don’t mean this to be accusatory, but _did_ you injure other patients?” Jessica asked.

 

“Self-defence,” Danny mumbled without looking back. His posture radiated tension. “Ward paid an orderly to arrange to try to have me killed.”

 

Luke blinked in shock and Jessica’s mouth dropped open as if she was about to say something but then she snapped it shut again.

 

“You know what, I’m just going to leave that one for another day,” she said, shaking her head.

 

“The article goes on then with what it claims to be evidence that you’re still dangerously unstable, despite having been, uh, released,” Claire continued grimly. “Stuff that claims to be more anonymous eyewitness accounts of erratic and violent behaviour. There’s some truth sprinkled in, like the hole in your office wall, but a lot of it is just plain lies and exaggerations. It... it ends with a call for you to be removed from Rand because of… because of being mentally unfit. I’m… I’m sorry.”

 

“It doesn’t matter, Danny,” Colleen said quickly. “Ward and Joy already said they didn’t care about any bad publicity for Rand. They support you and said all the resources of the PR department are at your disposal, however you want to handle it. Megan asked after you and supports you, too. The article doesn’t _matter.”_

 

“They… they hadn’t read it yet, though, had they?” Danny said shakily, taking a few more steps away from them. “I… I really am poison to everything I touch.” His hands came up to fist in his hair again, and Luke could see that his shoulders were trembling with emotion.

 

“That’s not true!” Colleen said insistently.

 

“Everybody knows now,” Danny said, his breath starting to come in harsh pants, like he was struggling to breathe. “I ruin everything. I’m poison. I’m _poison…,”_ Luke frowned in concern and started to take a step forward, but then Danny suddenly let out an inarticulate scream, turning to slam both fists against the living room wall and then crumpling down until he was almost doubled over. They all jumped in shock.

 

“Danny!” Colleen said, moving forward, but Danny stood up ramrod straight again just as suddenly as he’d collapsed. He sucked in a long, deep breath, his eyes closed and his face eerily blank. “Danny?” Colleen repeated uncertainly. He opened his eyes as he exhaled and looked at her.

 

“I’m… I’m fine,” he said.

 

“Oh, no,” Claire moaned, rubbing her forehead wearily.

 

“What?” Luke asked, alarmed, but she ignored him, going to Danny and putting a hand on his arm. He blinked at her, his gaze a little dazed.

 

“Don’t do that, Danny,” Claire said urgently. “Don’t stuff everything down like that. That’s the real poison. You have to let it out. It will only get worse if you don’t.”

 

And then Luke understood. He’d heard Claire describe before how she’d seen both Danny and Davos forcibly stuff their emotions down instead of dealing with them. Feeling completely overwhelmed, Danny had likely regressed to doing what he’d been taught to do in K’un Lun.

 

“I… I can’t right now, Claire. Please, I just can’t,” Danny said, and for all that he appeared to have locked his emotions away, Luke could still detect the note of desperation in his voice, could still see a fine tremor running through his frame. Claire was right. It was a temporary reprieve at best, the cracks already showing.

 

“Danny…,” Claire said sadly, but she was interrupted by a knock at the door. The food she and Colleen had ordered had arrived.

 

The mood was subdued as they went about organizing and distributing the food, sandwiches and fries from a nearby deli. When Claire handed Danny a plate, he stared down at it, looking slightly green.

 

“I… I don’t know how much I’ll be able to eat,” Danny said quietly, hunching in on himself a little like he was already expecting an argument.

 

“Danny, you really have to try,” Claire said insistently. “You barely had any breakfast, and then you lost it being sick besides. Your body _needs_ energy. Normally you eat like a horse.”

 

“I’m just… not very hungry,” Danny said, averting his gaze.

 

“Whenever I… whenever I would get  _really_ depressed, I usually wouldn't have much of an appetite either,” Matt suddenly said. “But it’s a vicious cycle. The less I ate, the less I took care of myself... the worse I would feel. I know forcing yourself to eat when it’s the last thing you feel like doing is hard, but you really will feel better in the long run.”

 

Danny looked at him for a moment before turning back to Claire.

 

“I’ll try,” he said quietly.

 

“That’s all I can ask,” Claire said with a small, strained smile.

 

They settled on the living room couches to eat. Matt pulled out a set of earbuds from his pocket, saying he wanted to listen to the Bulletin article on the reader on his phone before he and Jessica left for their appointment with Hogarth. Luke thought about bringing it up on his phone to read it for himself as well, but found he didn’t have the heart to just yet. It could wait until later.

 

Danny dutifully ate every bite of his sandwich, though he did it mechanically and without enjoyment, looking vaguely ill the whole time. Luke frowned as he watched him make his way through it. He certainly couldn’t argue that Danny _needed_ to eat, but wouldn’t forcing himself to choke it down like that just make him feel sick again? There had to be a better way.

 

“We should probably get going,” Jessica said to Matt after they’d both finished eating. “Hogarth already made a big deal about what a huge favour she was doing us, fitting us into her schedule on such short notice. She’ll be in a right snit if we’re late.”

 

Luke looked at Danny, realizing he’d never asked if Colleen and Claire had found anything out about his parents and Gao during their own meeting with the Meachums. He’d been distracted by the article, sure, but it still seemed… odd. Even now, though he knew the reason Matt and Jessica were meeting with Hogarth, he seemed uninterested in the conversation, his head turned to stare out the living room windows, his legs pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped around his knees. As Luke watched, he tensed and flinched a little, giving his head a little shake, before resuming his blank stare out at the city skyline.

 

It had become an all too familiar sign.

 

Luke’s gaze met Claire’s, and she grimaced a little. She’d noticed, too.

 

Luke and Claire followed Matt and Jessica out to the foyer, leaving Colleen sitting next to Danny, watching him anxiously.

 

“What do you think?” Luke asked quietly, glancing back over his shoulder into the living room.

 

“He had two freak-outs in barely half an hour. I think a meltdown of epic proportions is on its way,” Jessica said flatly, though the concern in her voice was obvious.

 

“What if you get confirmation that something fishy really was going on with his parents, especially that stuff about his mother?” Luke asked with a frown. “Can we really lay that on him now, too?”

 

“I said to Colleen before that we can’t start keeping things from him, even if we think it’s for his own good,” Claire said.

 

“What if we found out something, kept it from him, and then Gao or Davos threw it in his face later?” Matt pointed out. Luke rubbed his face wearily. That… would definitely be worse.

 

“Well, what about the article?” Luke asked. “You said you think a lot of it was fabricated… aren’t journalists supposed to look for corroboration before they publish?”

 

“Reputable ones do,” Matt said drily. “I didn’t recognize the name in the byline. It’s probably their first major article. I imagine Gao chose the person she sent that envelope to very carefully, someone who was thirsty enough for a big break not to care too much about properly vetting all the info. Some of the Birch details probably weren’t too hard to corroborate… they likely thought that was good enough.”

 

“Couldn’t we… file a complaint or something?” Luke said, frowning.

 

“And what? Have them print a retraction?” Jessica scoffed. “It’s the internet, Luke. It’s too late to put that fire out.” She waved her phone at him. “Gossip and tabloid sites have already picked up the story and are running with it.” Luke sighed in defeat.

 

“Hey, things look bad right now, and well, they _are_ bad, but we knew dealing with this was going to be hard,” Claire said, reaching out to rub Luke’s arm. “We just have to take things one step at a time, and look out for each other as well as for Danny. Always forward, right?” she said, arching an eyebrow at Luke. He raised his own eyebrows in surprise. He hadn’t thought of Pop’s mantra in a long time.

 

“Forward, always,” he confirmed, smiling at her fondly.

 

“And that’s our cue to leave,” Jessica said, rolling her eyes, but Luke detected a note of warmth in her voice, too.

 

After she and Matt had left, Luke wrapped an arm around Claire’s shoulders and they headed back to the living room to rejoin Danny and Colleen and face whatever else was to come, together.

 

TBC

  
  
  
  
  
  



	25. Jessica

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to everyone who took the time to comment or leave kudos! <3

As she and Matt headed for the elevator, Jessica ruminated on the brief conversation they’d just had with Luke and Claire. She could certainly see the logic in Claire and Matt’s assertion that it would be better not to start keeping things from Danny, but she couldn’t help but also agree with Luke’s point, too. All signs seemed to indicate that they were on the cusp of unearthing something about the Rands that could potentially be very devastating for Danny.

 

Which, considering everything else that was going on and how… how _fragile_ he was, was the last thing he needed.

 

When Matt had suddenly snapped to attention earlier, and reported that Danny had apparently been having a hallucination so intense that he didn’t even recognize Luke, it… it had frightened her. Seeing and hearing people you _knew_ weren’t there was one thing, though certainly bad enough, but to be so disconnected from reality that you didn’t even realize it was happening was quite another. Thankfully Matt had said that Luke had been able to pull Danny out of it relatively quickly, but she could see that he had been just as rattled as she’d been. And she’d felt zero surprise when he’d reported a moment later that Danny wasn’t reacting well to the incident, either.

 

He was getting worse. Claire had said it would likely be that way, that opening up the wounds contributing to psychotic symptoms could worsen things before they got better. But it didn’t make it any easier to see it happening. It… it _hurt_ to know Danny was in so much pain, to see it being played out in front of her while she felt helpless to do anything about it. She never would have expected to feel that way about him back when they first met, but… she could no longer deny that she did.

 

Matt had still been keeping an ear out, in case things escalated and Luke needed help, when Claire and Colleen had returned and filled them in on what they’d learned from the Meachums. Apparently the Rands hadn’t been the picture perfect happy family they had all kind of assumed they were. And here they’d all been thinking Danny’s issues hadn’t started until the plane crash.

 

To have that followed by the news article and Danny’s reaction to _that,_ well…. One really had to wonder just how much one person could take, especially in a single day.

 

Part of Jessica was eager to speak to Hogarth and see what she had to say about the Rands, since she had little doubt that if anything genuinely suspicious had been going on, Hogarth would at least have had an inkling about it. Her razor sharp observational skills were one of the many reasons she was such a successful lawyer.

 

But part of her was dreading it a little, too. Because what if she _did_ confirm that something… something _bad_ had been going on? Jessica wasn’t sure if _any_ of them could handle more shit being piled onto their collective plate, let alone Danny.

 

Not to mention the fact that they still had no idea if Gao had been involved back then, or what the hell her motivations were in any of this.

 

Fuck, she needed a drink.

 

“What an unbelievable shitshow,” Jessica said as the elevator reached the lobby and she and Matt stepped out.

 

“Uh… you can say that again,” Matt said, his head cocked to the side as something grabbed his attention out front of the building.

 

“Apologies, but you may want to use the rear exit,” the security guard at the lobby desk said, a pained expression on his face. Jessica looked toward the main lobby doors and blinked at the small crowd of reporters outside being held at bay by another security guard and the beleaguered looking doorman.

 

“That was fast,” Matt remarked grimly.

 

“Well, it’s been a slow news week, I guess,” Jessica muttered, rubbing her eyes wearily. They followed the security guard’s directions to the service entrance at the back, which was blessedly free of reporters, at least for the time being. Jessica doubted they’d be able to get back into the building without running a press gauntlet. She typed out a quick text to Claire, letting her know the situation in case any of them had reason to step out.

 

Once out on the street they hailed a cab. The late afternoon rush was starting to build but soon enough they arrived at the Bank of America Tower, which housed the offices of Hogarth, Chao and Benowitz.

 

“Hey, you going to look up your buddy Foggy while we’re here?” Jessica asked as they stepped onto the elevator. “It _still_ blows my mind that he works for Hogarth.”

 

“Tell me about it,” Matt said wryly. “But no. It’s late enough that if he hasn’t already left for the day, then that means he’s busy and we shouldn’t disturb him.” He paused, looking thoughtful. “You know, if it wasn’t for Hogarth asking Foggy to make sure you stay out of trouble, we wouldn’t have met. At least not the way we did. It’s just as crazy as how we all independently met Claire. Makes me think again about the conversation we had the other day about fate.”

 

Jessica pondered that for a moment. She remembered how surprised she’d been when she’d first found out that Danny had a connection to Hogarth dating back to his childhood. Hell, ‘surprised’ wasn’t quite strong enough a word. It had seemed an absolutely _unimaginable_ coincidence. And that would have been hard enough to swallow on its own. But not only did Matt’s best friend and former partner work for Hogarth’s firm, she had picked _him_ out of all the employees at her disposal to ‘keep an eye’ on Jessica. And who should _he_ ask to help her when she ran into legal trouble?

 

The freaking Devil of Hell’s Kitchen, that’s who. And just in time for them all to get tangled up in the Hand.

 

It really did seem hard to believe that it could have all been pure chance. But the alternative, that it _wasn’t_ just chance, that something… something _larger_ was at work… that was rather hard for her to believe, too.

 

Though somehow the implausible was seeming more and more plausible all the time.

 

“Danny was the first one to point it out,” she said, suddenly remembering. “At the Royal Dragon that first day. He said our coming together like that couldn’t have been an accident.”

 

“Does that mean you’re starting to believe?” Matt asked with a small smile.

 

“Maybe,” Jessica said grudgingly. “Jesus, next thing I’ll be believing Danny actually punched a dragon in the heart,” she groused.

 

“You never know,” Matt chuckled. Then his expression turned serious. “Have you given thought to what we’re going to say to Hogarth? I mean… just how much should we disclose to her about what’s going on?”

 

“She’ll want an explanation as to why we’re asking about the Rands, that’s for sure,” Jessica said with a sigh. “Well… she’s Danny’s lawyer, right? It’s her job to protect his interests. She’ll hardly want to lose Rand Enterprises as a client so it’s not like she’s going to share anything… _sensitive_ we might tell her. She’s not spooked by powered people and she has some knowledge of the Hand because of everything that happened with Harold Meachum, though honestly I have no idea just how much of it Danny explained to her. I guess… play it by ear?”

 

“I feel like that’s your strategy for a lot of things,” Matt said wryly.

 

“Hey, if you don’t have a Plan A then you never need a Plan B,” she said lightly. He just chuckled again, and she felt a sudden pulse of warmth in her chest as she looked at him. She reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze. He squeezed it back, a soft smile on his lips that actually made her heart flutter a little, though she’d probably die before admitting it.

 

Once they’d reached the appropriate floor they didn’t have to wait long before Hogarth’s assistant ushered them into her office. Hogarth regarded them critically as they settled into the chairs facing her desk.

 

“Considering that you said this was about Danny I assume it’s related to the article that the Bulletin just released a short while ago?” she asked without preamble.

 

“Kind of,” Jessica said with a grimace. Hogarth narrowed her eyes a little.

 

“How much of it is true?” she asked. Jessica glanced at Matt but he was clearly letting her take the lead because of her familiarity with Hogarth.

 

“Some of it is,” Jessica said with a sigh. “But some of it is exaggerated, too. Danny’s… having a rough time right now, but he’s not dangerous.” She didn’t feel the need to mention that he certainly had the potential to be if he lost control, as the incident at the Lotte had shown.

 

“But he _is_ mentally ill? Experiencing hallucinations and having outbursts, things like that?” Hogarth pushed.

 

“Yes,” Jessica admitted after a moment. Hogarth sat back in her chair with a sigh.

 

“So why isn’t he in a hospital? It wouldn’t have to be a hole like Birch.There’s no shortage of cushy, high-end private clinics and he certainly has the money,” she asked.

 

“After his… unpleasant experience at Birch, he’s rather leery of mental hospitals in general,” Matt said. Hogarth’s sharp gaze swiveled to him for a moment.

 

“And this special ability that it mentions he claims to have… I assume it complicates matters?” she asked. Jessica and Matt both blinked in surprise.

 

“You… you know that part’s true?” Jessica asked. Hogarth smirked at her.

 

“Not for sure until you just confirmed it. Of course my first instinct was to dismiss it as delusional, but… it would certainly explain why he’s taken up with you and Luke Cage, wouldn’t it?” Hogarth said. She raised an eyebrow at Matt. “And you, Mr. Murdock.”

 

“Uh… excuse me?” Matt said, clearly taken off guard.

 

“Please,” Hogarth said condescendingly. “You were ‘abducted’ from a police precinct by Jessica and Luke Cage, neither of whom had any reason to do such a thing. Then they turned up at Midland Circle a short time later without you but _with_ Daredevil. I’m not an idiot, and I doubt very much I’m the only one who has connected the dots. I don’t even begin to know how it’s possible… but we’re living in a world where impossible things are happening more and more often. If aliens can invade from a portal in the sky, if there are people walking around with super strength and unbreakable skin… then I suppose a blind man can be the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen.”

 

“I… I appreciate your discretion,” Matt said, his face flushing a little. Jessica reached out and squeezed his hand. She knew keeping his identity secret was very important to Matt, but the more they worked together as a team, the harder that would likely be. It wouldn’t surprise her if it eventually reached a point where it just wasn’t feasible anymore.

 

“You don’t seem particularly surprised that Danny is having mental health issues,” Jessica observed. Hogarth raised an eyebrow at her.

 

“And you said the article was only ‘kind of’ the reason you were here,” she countered. “So, why exactly did you want to see me? I fit you in today because you said it was about Danny and insisted it was important.”

 

“We want to ask you about his parents, actually,” Jessica said. Hogarth straightened up in her seat again, her eyes narrowing suspiciously.

 

“Why?” she demanded.

 

“Well… Danny told you about the criminal organization that Harold Meachum was involved with, right? The Hand?” Jessica asked.

 

“Yes,” Hogarth replied.

 

“One of their leaders has turned up again and… and has been causing a lot of trouble for Danny,” Jessica said. “Her name is Gao. We believe she’s the one who gave all that info to the reporter from the Bulletin, but that’s only the most recent thing she’s done to mess with him. We’re trying to figure out what her motivation for this special interest in him is. The Hand is traditionally the enemy of… of the people who took Danny in after the crash, but Gao was involved with Harold before that, and claims to have known Danny’s parents, too. It’s all a huge mess of unbelievable coincidences and we’re trying to make sense of it.”

 

Hogarth was quiet for a moment as she seemed to mull over Jessica’s words, her brow furrowed thoughtfully.

 

“So what you want from me is…?” she prompted.

 

“We want to know if you noticed anything strange or unusual going on with them when you worked at Rand,” Jessica said. “I know it’s vague but….” It was her turn to narrow her eyes as she observed the expression on Hogarth’s face. “But there _was_ something, wasn’t there?”

 

Hogarth leaned back again, looking at them contemplatively. For a moment Jessica was sure she was going to refuse to tell them anything. But then she seemed to arrive at some decision, sighing heavily.

 

“Wendell gave me my first job after I passed the bar,” she began. “He was an excellent businessman and I had a great deal of respect for him. But his family skills could be… lacking. Not that I’m one to judge.”

 

“Lacking? How so?” Matt asked, frowning. Hogarth cocked an eyebrow at him.

 

“Do you think it was commonplace to have a small child running around the offices of a major corporation, making friends with the legal interns?” she asked.

 

“No, I wouldn’t imagine it would be,” Matt replied.

 

“Wendell wasn’t a _bad_ father, really, and I don’t doubt that he loved Danny. He could just seem… oblivious at times,” Hogarth continued. “I mean, letting a child that young run around unsupervised could be called neglect at the very least.”

 

“We heard from another source that he brought Danny to the office because there were times when he didn’t want to leave him home alone with Heather. Because of her ‘moods’,” Jessica said. Hogarth looked at her for a moment.

 

“Yes, that was the consensus among the office gossips,” she said with a sigh. “Though why a billionaire would think leaving him home with an unstable mother or letting him run wild in a corporate office were his only two child care options, I’ll never know.”

 

“So there was gossip about Heather at Rand? About her being unstable?” Matt asked.

 

“Oh, yes,” Hogarth said. “People loved to gossip about her. Hardly surprising, considering the circumstances.”

 

“What do you mean?” Jessica asked.

 

“Well, she used to work at Rand,” Hogarth replied, apparently surprised that they hadn’t known. “She’d been one of Wendell’s assistants. It’s how they met.”

 

“Oh. Oh, wow,” Jessica said. Matt looked surprised as well.

 

“Yes, and many of her former co-workers were still there, and they were always eager to dish dirt about her,” Hogarth said. “No small part of it was jealousy, of course. Once she’d been just like them and now she was not just the boss’ wife, but a _billionaire’s_ wife.” She paused, pursing her lips for a moment. “The rest of it really didn’t help.”

 

“The rest of it?” Jessica asked.

 

“She and Wendell started dating a few months after she started working at Rand,” Hogarth said. “To Wendell’s credit he made an attempt at doing the 'right' thing and had her transferred to one of the other executives so she was no longer his direct employee, though of course as one of the owners of the company she still technically worked for him. But it was only another two months before they suddenly married and she left her job anyway, and barely seven months after that that Danny was born.”

 

Jessica stared at her, the gears turning in her head.

 

“People believed she purposely trapped herself a billionaire husband by getting pregnant,” Jessica said flatly.

 

“Especially since before she started dating Wendell, she reportedly told more than one person at Rand that she hated children and never wanted to have any,” Hogarth confirmed.

 

“Jesus,” Jessica said, sitting back in her chair. That… that could certainly help explain Heather’s coldness to Danny during his early years, if he’d been nothing but a tool for her to land an obscenely wealthy husband. But… why the drastic change later on, then?

 

“What about these ‘moods’ that prompted Wendell to bring Danny to the office?” Matt asked. “What did people say about that?”

 

“A lot of it was just catty gossip, I’m sure,” Hogarth said. “But she could be… odd. And of course her obsessive protectiveness over Danny was legendary. She home schooled him herself and though apparently they’d had a nanny and other staff when he was younger, by the time I started at Rand, when Danny was about seven, Heather refused to have any permanent staff in the house. Apparently a housekeeping service came by a few times a week and most of their meals were catered. The rumour was that it was specifically because she didn’t want people around Danny.”

 

“That’s… strange,” Jessica said.

 

“As for these ‘moods’, I never witnessed anything myself since she rarely came to the office, so again, it could just be exaggerated gossip, but people said her demeanor could change in a flash, and she had a terrible temper,” Hogarth continued. “There was an often repeated story of a time when she’d come to the office along with Danny and his nanny to meet Wendell before they all left for a trip somewhere. She ended up screaming at one of Wendell’s assistants over some minor thing for over ten minutes, ending off her tirade by picking up a decorative bowl off the poor girl’s desk and hurling it at the wall.” She paused, sighing. “Danny, who was only a toddler at the time, witnessed the whole thing and hid under one of the other assistant’s desks. It took the nanny almost half an hour to coax him out.”

 

“So… these so-called moods didn’t start at the same time as her overprotectiveness?” Matt asked, his brow furrowed thoughtfully.

 

“What do you mean?” Hogarth asked.

 

“Ward told us that when Danny was younger, during the time he had a nanny, Heather was very cold towards him. He said her attitude suddenly changed almost overnight when he was about five, and that’s when she got rid of the nanny and became so intensely overprotective,” Jessica explained.

 

“That would have been before my time,” Hogarth said, frowning. “But yes, the rumours and stories about her odd behaviour date back as far as when she worked at Rand herself. Now that you mention it, though, it was my understanding that Wendell bringing Danny to the office instead of leaving him home with Heather was a relatively new development when I started working there. I imagine when he still had a nanny it wouldn’t have been an issue.”

 

“How often did it happen?” Jessica asked.

 

“I couldn’t say for sure,” Hogarth replied. “I’m not exaggerating when I said he had the run of the whole building, so it’s likely there were days he was there that I didn’t see him. But I would say it was at least two or three times a month, sometimes more.” She paused, looking thoughtful. “The first time I saw him, he was playing in one of the conference rooms, building an elaborate little city out of office supplies on the big table. Pretty much the last thing you expect to see in a major corporate office. I was pretty taken aback, and even more so when one of the other interns explained who he was and why he was there.” She smiled a little, but it looked sad.

 

“You felt sorry for him, didn’t you?” Matt asked quietly, apparently picking up on something in her demeanor. Hogarth looked at him for a moment before replying.

 

“Yes, I suppose I did,” she said. “I’m sure it will hardly surprise Jessica to hear that I’m not generally a fan of children myself, but… for all that he was essentially left to run wild, he never really _acted_ wild or raucous. Sometimes he brought his skateboard and zipped around on it, but that was about the extent of it. A child given such free reign could easily have acted like a spoiled, insufferable brat and caused a lot of trouble, but he was… sweet. Sensitive. And it was painfully obvious how lonely he was. He so desperately wanted to please everyone. If he wasn’t wrapped up in exploring or playing some game, he was going around chattering at people and even offering to help with their work. Some of the assistants used to let him do their filing.” She paused again, her face somber.

 

“And?” Jessica prompted, sensing there was more.

 

“For all that the office gossips loved to dish dirt about the Rands generally and Heather specifically, there was one thing that was seemingly verboten to even mention,” Hogarth said seriously.

 

“What?” Jessica asked, her stomach sinking. She noticed Matt tense as well.

 

“The strange bruises Danny would sometimes have,” Hogarth replied, her expression grim.

 

“Bruises,” Jessica repeated flatly. Jesus, she’d been afraid of something like this.

 

“Sometimes there would be what looked like finger marks on his wrists or arms, like someone had grabbed him and squeezed tightly,” Hogarth said. “Occasionally a mark or bruise on his face, though that was less common.”

 

“You think Heather was responsible?” Matt asked gravely.

 

“It’s the logical conclusion, though of course I can’t say so for certain,” Hogarth said. “ And I never saw any sign that he was afraid of her, that story of him hiding under a desk as a toddler because of one of her rages notwithstanding. He’d often happily relay stories of fun things they’d done together, and on the few occasions I saw them together at the office, he seemed to adore her.”

 

“And you say no one questioned it? Not even you?” Jessica asked angrily. Hogarth narrowed her eyes at her.

 

“Heather may have been unpopular amongst the employees, but Wendell was very well-liked and respected. I suppose people figured it was one thing to gossip about the boss’ wife’s mental state and quite another to accuse one of the wealthiest and most powerful families in the city of child abuse,” Hogarth said, a note of sharpness in her voice. “I… I tried to broach the topic of his bruises with Danny once, when he had dark marks on both wrists, but he brushed me off like they were no big deal, though the subject clearly made him uncomfortable and he wouldn’t give a straight answer about how he got them. And I guess I didn’t want to push. That’s on me.”

 

“Damn straight it is,” Jessica muttered. Hogarth glared at her.

 

“Is there anything else you can tell us about Heather?” Matt interjected, clearly trying to head things off before they got heated. “Anything about her family, her history before Rand, organizations she was involved with, anything like that?”

 

Hogarth glared at Jessica for another moment before turning her attention to Matt. She frowned, looking thoughtful.

 

“I’m afraid I don’t know anything about her history or family, other than that she had no living relatives, but I believe there were a few things she was involved with socially,” she finally said. “Some kind of charitable arts committee associated with the Met, I believe. A few other similar organizations. I can’t think of anything else, but I will contact you if anything comes to mind.”

 

It was a dismissal if there ever was one. Jessica and Matt both rose to their feet.

 

“Thank you for your time, Ms. Hogarth. We greatly appreciate it,” Matt said. Hogarth nodded.

 

“Just… take care of him,” she said.

 

“We will,” Jessica said vehemently, shooting her a glare.

 

“All of this is why you’re not surprised Danny is having mental health issues, isn’t it?” Matt realized. “Heather’s alleged instability and the possible abuse.”

 

“You mean in addition to the obvious traumas of surviving a plane crash and witnessing his parents’ deaths?” Hogarth said wryly. “Yes, it is. And I have to be honest, if it’s even half as bad as that article implies, I suspect he really should be in a hospital receiving professional care. He may not like it, but it would be for his own good.”

 

“Good thing it’s not your call, then,” Jessica sneered.

 

“We’ll do what’s best for him,” Matt said diplomatically, putting his hand on Jessica’s arm and nudging her towards the door. She took the hint..

 

“God, that woman can be aggravating,” she breathed out with an angry huff once they were on the elevator.

 

“Given the situation, her just being an intern, and the Rands being such a powerful family, it’s unlikely she would have been able to do anything even if she’d tried,” Matt said.

 

“She still should have done something. _Someone_ should have,” Jessica seethed.

 

“We don’t know for sure that Heather was hurting him,” Matt said reasonably. “There could be another explanation for the bruises.”

 

“Yeah, and how likely do you think that is?” she snapped. Matt was quiet for a moment before he stepped closer and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a half-embrace. Before it even registered what she was doing she was looping her own arm around his waist, leaning into the offered comfort gratefully.

 

“I know it’s upsetting,” he said quietly. “I feel it, too.”

 

“This whole mess just keeps getting worse, doesn’t it?” she said. He held her tighter and she sighed, feeling warmth bloom in her chest as the tension started to bleed from her muscles. They were so close their faces were almost touching.

 

“It certainly feels that way,” he agreed.

 

“Jesus, how the hell are we supposed to bring this up with Danny?” she asked. “We can’t dredge up all this shit for him, not after the day he’s had.”

 

“It might be wise to wait until tomorrow, at least, if the others agree,” Matt said. “We still don't have anything really concrete anyway.”

 

“And still nothing about Gao,” she muttered.

 

“I guess the next step is to start investigating Heather’s background,” Matt said. “Maybe somewhere in her history there’s concrete evidence of mental illness, not just hearsay and rumour. And we should look into those committees and things Hogarth mentioned. If Gao did indeed reach out to Heather back then, socialite activities like that would have been an excellent way to initiate contact with a wealthy businessman’s wife.”

 

“We’ll start on that tomorrow,” Jessica said, sighing again. “This has already been the longest day ever.”

 

“No argument from me there,” Matt said with a small, weary smile. When the elevator reached the ground floor, he closed the scant distance between them to place a soft kiss on her lips that sent an electric tingle zipping through her blood. Then they both instinctively shifted so he could hook his arm around her elbow as they stepped out into the lobby.

 

Jessica eyed him as they exited the building and started trying to hail a cab. She still wasn’t quite sure what to make of what was happening between them. When she’d kissed him that morning she’d been feeling raw and emotional and probably could have convinced herself that it had been an impulsive, drunken mistake if she’d tried to. But she didn’t _want_ to try. It had felt _right._ It still did. She wanted to kiss him again. She wanted to do _more._ But… it wasn’t just physical, what she was feeling for him.

 

She… she wasn’t very comfortable with emotion. It made her feel vulnerable. But Matt didn’t make her feel vulnerable, at least not in a bad way. He made her feel… safe. By all rights her vast and deeply ingrained intimacy issues should have had her running for the hills long before now, not just from Matt, but from _all_ of them. It was kind of baffling to her that she wasn’t feeling that need to flee from them, from what they represented.

 

A group of people who didn’t just work together and look out for each other, but who _loved_ each other. A _family._

 

Trish was her sister, and Malcolm had been worming his way into her heart despite her best efforts. She’d never expected to have anything more, hadn’t thought she ever _could._ But now, with Matt, with the others… something was definitely coming together there. Something… different.

 

It was a scary thought.

 

But… she realized it was a little bit exhilarating, too.

 

TBC


	26. Danny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the comments and kudos!

Danny stared out the living room window at the city skyline, his mind in a daze. He felt… _ ill. _ Tired. Nauseous. Uneasy. The food he’d forced himself to eat sat like a rock in his stomach. He clasped his hands tightly together to hide the fine tremor he couldn’t quite banish, hugging his knees to his chest. He felt like he might fly apart at any second and that it was only the force of his will that was holding him together.

 

And his mind just wouldn’t be  _ quiet. _

 

After they’d told him about the article, after he’d… he’d nearly  _ lost _ it,  _ again _ , he’d been putting all of his concentration into maintaining some semblance of control. The hysteria that he’d felt threatening to overtake him… it had seemed like a bottomless, gaping black hole. One that he hadn’t been sure he’d ever be able to crawl back out of again. So he’d forced it back with every fibre of his being. Claire had been unhappy with him, he knew, which had stung. He hated to disappoint her yet again. But he’d  _ had _ to. He’d had to force it back, or else it would have consumed him.

 

Except that it wasn’t working as well as it used to.

 

_ “The Immortal Iron Fist,”  _ Davos’ voice sneered.  _ “What a pathetic picture you make, trembling like a cowardly child.” _

 

Danny felt so on edge that he couldn’t help but twitch a little, but otherwise he did his best to ignore him. He and Lei Kung had been keeping up a litany of verbal abuse for awhile. Compared to everything else that had happened that day… it was nothing.

 

_ “You bring shame to all of K’un Lun,”  _ Lei Kung pronounced sternly. Danny flinched.

 

Well… almost nothing.

 

He glanced out to where Luke and Claire were seeing Jessica and Matt off in the foyer. They were undoubtedly talking about him. There couldn’t have been a more transparent reason for them to follow the others out there. He could hardly blame them. He’d certainly given them enough to talk about. The thought filled him with a dull, aching despair.

 

_ “It’s only a matter of time, you know,”  _ Davos said cloyingly. 

 

“Until what?” Danny asked without thinking, not realizing what he was doing until Colleen gave a little start of surprise next to him.

 

_ “Until they realize you’re not worth all this trouble,”  _ Davos replied, laughing. Danny shuddered, hugging his knees tighter.

 

“Danny?” Colleen asked tentatively, putting a hand on his arm.

 

“Sorry,” he said. “I… I didn’t mean to do that.” Which, he realized a moment too late, probably didn’t exactly sound encouraging regarding his current mental state.

 

“You don’t have to apologize,” she said. “You  _ never _ have to apologize about this, Danny. Do… do you want to talk about it?” 

 

“No,” he answered right away. “Not… not now,” he amended softly at the stricken look on her face. 

 

“Claire was right earlier,” Colleen said gently. “You can’t start letting this stuff fester inside you again.”

 

“I know,” he said miserably. “But… I just  _ can’t _ right now. It’s… it’s too much.” Too much noise in his head, threatening to overwhelm him. He had to focus on something else or soon he would be screaming. “Could we just… talk about something else? Like… like the dojo?” he suggested desperately, naming the first thing that came to mind.

 

“Of course,” she said, looking a little confused but likely willing to run with it as long as it kept him talking. “What about the dojo?”

 

“Don’t you miss it?” he asked. Now that he had brought it up, he found that  _ he _ certainly did. The dojo had seemed to strike a perfect balance for him between his two worlds - intimate and homey without being extravagant like a posh hotel suite or a spartan cell like his room at the monastery. The penthouse wasn’t nearly as opulent as the suite Hogarth had arranged for him after he’d first gotten in touch with her, but it was still the lap of luxury in comparison to the dojo. He suddenly found himself so homesick for those pitted yellow and green walls that his heart ached.

 

“Miss what?” Luke asked as he and Claire returned, sitting back down on the opposite couch.

 

“The dojo,” Colleen explained before turning back to Danny. “Yeah, I miss it. It’s been home for a long time. But we’ve been away for longer, back when we were tracking the Hand. And it’ll be waiting for us once things have… settled down.”

 

“Maybe we should just go back,” Danny said bleakly. “Gao knows every move we make anyway. The security here wouldn’t keep… wouldn’t keep D-Davos out if he really wanted in, either. What does it matter where we stay?”

 

“Well… the security will keep the reporters at bay, at least,” Claire said with a grimace as she looked at her phone. “Jessica just texted me. There’s a bunch of them out front of the building.”

 

Danny stared at her for a moment before looking away, feeling mostly numb and resigned even as static crackled insistently at the edges of his mind. What did it matter? The story was already out there. They could hardly make it worse at that point. He could hear Davos laughing again and shook his head a little in a vain attempt to banish it.

 

“There’s not much room for guests at the dojo, either,” Colleen said, in an obvious attempt to keep him talking, even about something trivial.

 

“True,” Danny said, glancing guiltily at Luke and Claire. At the dojo the living area was cozy but small, with just the one couch and bed and no guest rooms. As long as Luke and Claire had by all appearances temporarily taken up residence with them to help babysit him, that would be an issue.

 

Not that he minded their presence. Quite the opposite. He was extremely grateful that they were there supporting not just him, but Colleen as well. Though of course he couldn’t help but also feel guilty at the interruption to their normal routines. They’d basically put their lives on hold. Matt and Jessica, too. 

 

_ “Always causing trouble, aren’t you?”  _ Lei Kung’s angry voice said. Danny rubbed his temples wearily, fervently wishing there was something -  _ anything _ \- he could do to just make it be _ quiet. _

 

“But… there could be,” Colleen said thoughtfully, pulling him from his dark thoughts.

 

“What do you mean?” he asked.

 

“Well, you already mentioned renovating the bathroom, right?” she said. He nodded. With everything else that had been going on it had completely slipped his mind. The mirror in the master bath still had to be replaced, too, he remembered with another flash of guilt. “Most of the building is vacant now, including the units on either side of the dojo. We could renovate the whole place. Make the dojo itself bigger and also expand the living area. It’d be easy enough to add some guest rooms, too.”

 

“That… that sounds like a good idea,” Danny said, trying to push everything else in his head away so that he could mull it over. As long as they kept the dojo’s current simple aesthetic, it would certainly be nice to have more space. “Renovations take time, though.”

 

“I know it wouldn’t be ready anytime soon,” Colleen said enthusiastically, clearly warming to the idea. “All the more reason we should get the planning started right away.”

 

“It’s your decision. Your building remember?” he reminded her. He even managed to muster a small smile for her. She beamed at the sight of it.

 

“Yeah, but it’s  _ our _ home,” she admonished gently, giving his shoulder a little push. His smile widened a little. It was good to see her feeling happy about something. He hated that he was always causing her so much pain and worry.

 

“Wow, you guys are adorable,” Claire said with a small laugh. Luke chuckled a little as well.

 

“Hey, why stop at guest rooms?” Colleen said excitedly, looking at her. “You want to move out of your mother’s place, right Claire? We could put in a full apartment for you two!”

 

“That is a really generous offer, Colleen,” Claire said. “But I don’t think either of us want to move so far from Harlem full-time.” She looked at Luke as she spoke and he nodded his agreement.

 

“Oh, right,” Colleen said, deflating a little.

 

“I still think the guest rooms are a great idea, though,” Claire continued. “You guys could probably use more space for special training, too, right?”

 

“It could be the team clubhouse,” Luke said with a grin.

 

“Jessica will  _ love _ that idea,” Claire laughed. “And seriously, it’s not like we don’t enjoy being close to you guys. That won’t change once we’re no longer sleeping under the same roof every night. You’ll still see a lot of us after you move back to the dojo, I promise. Unless you get sick of us, of course,” she added playfully.

 

“Never,” Danny said adamantly. They all fell quiet and Danny flushed a little, feeling like he’d somehow dampened the relatively light mood they’d only just managed to achieve. But even though Claire had obviously been joking, just the suggestion that he and Colleen might no longer want her and Luke around someday had made his heart clench painfully. For all that it hadn’t been very long that they’d suddenly started spending so much time together, he found that he couldn’t even imagine things returning to the way they’d been before, at least in terms of how little contact they’d all had.

 

And then there was the matter of how he’d tried to kiss Luke, he suddenly remembered, a spike of warmth shooting through his veins. He… he still didn’t really understand how he felt about that. Or how Colleen and Claire would feel about it, either, for that matter. 

 

_ “Traitorous whore,”  _ Davos’ voice sneered. Danny flinched.

 

“Danny?” Colleen asked, her voice concerned.

 

“I tried to kiss Luke,” he confessed in a rush. She looked at him for a moment, blinking.

 

“I kissed Claire,” she finally said. 

 

“O-oh,” he stammered, and then they both just stared at each other until Claire chuckled, breaking the spell. Danny’s face flushed red.

 

“Sounds like we both had an interesting afternoon,” Claire said, poking Luke in the arm.

 

“I was going to bring it up later,” Luke said. “Maybe a little more… tactfully, though.”

 

“Sorry,” Danny mumbled. He pressed his face against his knees in embarrassment, his mind reeling. Not only were Colleen and Claire not upset, something had apparently happened between them, too. It seemed… surreal, almost. Colleen pressed closer to him, wrapping her arm around his shoulders.

 

“It’s okay, Danny,” she said. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I think we all might be on the same page here, somehow. And what do you mean, you  _ tried?” _

 

“He… he said I wasn’t ready yet,” Danny replied, lifting his head, though he couldn’t quite meet anyone’s eyes. He felt… exposed, somehow.

 

“He was upset,” Luke elaborated. “And between that and everything else that’s been going on… I don’t know, it just felt like it would have been taking advantage.” He sighed, looking at Claire and pulling her closer against his side. “Honestly, these feelings are pretty new for me, too. There's no need to rush into anything. So it wasn’t a ‘no’. It was a ‘let’s wait’.”

 

“I think you made the right call, both for Danny’s sake and your own,” Claire said. “I’m proud of you,” she added teasingly. Luke chuckled.

 

“You… you really aren’t mad? Either of you?” Danny asked tentatively, glancing between Colleen and Claire. The two of them looked at each other as well, smiling softly.

 

“No, I’m not mad,” Colleen said. “I… I feel kind of happy for you, actually, if that makes sense. And, well, are  _ you _ mad that  _ we _ kissed?”

 

“No,” Danny replied without hesitation. He didn’t understand it and a closer examination of his feelings was just about the last thing he had the energy for, but… he kind of thought he felt happy for her, too. There was no need for hurt or jealousy, because it had been Claire. Claire was… special. Just like Luke was special.

 

Talk about surreal.

 

“I’m kind of sad I missed it, actually,” Luke remarked. 

 

“Excuse me?” Claire said, arching an eyebrow at him. 

 

“Hey, I don’t mean it in a gross way!” Luke protested. “I just like to see the people I love happy.”

 

“Well, as long as we continue to be up front and honest with each other about it, I say we just… let things happen at their own pace,” Claire said. “It’s new territory for all of us.”

 

“Sounds like a good plan,” Luke agreed.

 

Further discussion of the topic was interrupted by a knock at the door.

 

“I’ll get it,” Luke said, disentangling himself from Claire and rising to his feet. He spoke briefly with someone at the door before returning with an envelope in his hands. “It was one of the security guards with a package from Rand. Apparently even though the Rand couriers are on the approved list, protocol when there’s a security threat is to restrict access to personal guests only unless otherwise directed. I guess the mob of reporters out front qualifies.”

 

“Mob?” Danny asked, his heart sinking. He’d… he’d actually managed not to think about the article or all its ramifications for a little while there. The reminder brought it all crashing back, injecting new life into the static encroaching on his brain.

 

“They’re vultures, Danny,” Luke said as he handed him the envelope. “They’re not worth the effort of worrying about.”

 

“It’s probably a new phone,” Colleen said. “We forgot to tell you that Ward said he’d be sending you a new one.”

 

“I go through a lot of phones,” Danny said absently as he opened the envelope. There was indeed a new phone inside. “Ward had Megan start keeping a supply handy.” He stared at it for a moment, a chill running down his spine as he remembered Davos’ furious expression as he’d hurled Danny’s previous phone at the wall, smashing it. Had it really only been that morning?

 

“Danny?” Colleen asked softly.

 

“I’m… I’m okay,” Danny said, trying to shake off the sensation of bone-deep unease the memory brought with it. He… he wasn’t prepared to dwell on that morning’s events just then any more than he was prepared to dwell on anything else. He sensed that it would likely take very little to send him spiralling out of control and the thought frightened him. Badly.

 

_ “None of this is ever going to get better, you know,”  _ Davos’ voice pronounced, sounding uncharacteristically somber. Danny shivered.

 

Forcibly pushing the static back he quickly typed out a text to Ward to thank him for sending the phone. After a moment’s hesitation, he also typed out an apology for the trouble the news story would no doubt be causing for Rand and sent it to both him and Joy. A few seconds later the phone buzzed with an incoming call.

 

Ward.

 

His heart in his throat, Danny accepted the call, rising from the couch to go look out the window as he talked.

 

“Hey, Ward,” he said in greeting, not sure what to expect. Colleen had said he and Joy weren’t angry, that they intended to support him, but….

 

“Hey, Danny. How are you holding up?” Ward asked.

 

“I’m okay,” Danny replied, trying to put as much conviction into his voice as he could. Judging by the silence that greeted him, he doubted it had been very convincing.

 

“They didn’t give us all the details, but Claire said you were hurt this morning,” Ward finally said after a moment. “You’re sure you don’t need to get checked out by a doctor? I could arrange for one to drop by the penthouse, you know.”

 

“Thanks, but it’s not necessary,” Danny said, fighting back a shudder at the mention of a doctor. It was absolutely crazy to think that if he agreed the doctor would take the opportunity to drug him and he’d wake up strapped to a bed in the hospital, but then his thought patterns were pretty freaking crazy these days and he couldn’t shake the fear no matter how irrational he knew it was.

 

“If you’re sure…,” Ward said doubtfully. He paused, sighing audibly over the line before continuing. “Listen, I know you’re probably beating yourself up over causing trouble here with that article, but it is honestly nothing earth-shattering. It’s quite possible the stock might dip temporarily or something like that, but it’ll bounce back, I’m sure of it. I’m not saying things won’t be rocky for a bit, but the company is more than strong enough to ride it out. Just… just focus on yourself and don’t worry about it.”

 

“Thanks, Ward,” Danny said softly, his eyes stinging. 

 

“That being said, if there’s any particular approach you want the company response to take, let us know,” Ward continued. “Colleen probably told you but Joy is having the PR department prepare a statement with non-specific assurances about everything being fine with the company and that there will be no comment regarding personal matters. But if you decide you want to release a personal statement of your own, they can help you prepare that, too.”

 

“Release a… a personal statement?” Danny asked, blinking.

 

“You don’t have to decide now,” Ward said. “Take some time to think about it. Take days, if you want to. But… it might not be a bad idea.”

 

“Really?” Danny asked, taken aback at the idea. Actually initiating contact with the press seemed like the absolute last thing he’d want to be doing just then.

 

“Claire and Colleen said they think this Gao woman released the story to mess with you somehow, right? Cause you trouble?” Ward said. “Well, you could turn the whole thing on its head by taking control of the situation. You could release a statement saying that yes, you are currently dealing with some mental health issues, but that the article is exaggerated and sensationalistic and mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of.”

 

Danny stood staring out the window for a moment, his mind reeling.

 

“I… I don’t know…,” he said uncertainly. Only days ago speaking to  _ anyone _ about his issues had seemed unfathomable. To do something like Ward was saying… the thought alone made him feel shaky.

 

“It’s just a suggestion,” Ward said. “Of course you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, or if you don’t feel ready. I… I understand how difficult it is dealing with stuff like this. Knowing you shouldn’t feel ashamed, but feeling it anyway. I… I can’t imagine how you’re feeling right now, with it splashed all over the media in such a sensationalistic way. I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s not your fault,” Danny said dully, his stomach twisting. 

 

“People might surprise you, though, if you give them the chance,” Ward said quietly. “I won’t lie to you, some of the old hard-liners from the board have already come to me, demanding you at least take a leave of absence, if not outright resign from any direct involvement with the company. But I’ve also heard from a few people expressing support, too.”

 

“R-really?” Danny asked, stunned.

 

“Really,” Ward confirmed. “It’s… it’s not like it was twenty or even ten years ago. Attitudes about mental illness are shifting. Rather slowly, to be sure, but it’s happening. I’m not saying it’ll be easy or that there won’t be a  _ lot  _ of people being assholes about it, but… not  _ everyone _ will be an asshole.”

 

“That’s… kind of hard for me to wrap my mind around,” Danny admitted.

 

“Listen, I’m running late for a dinner meeting so I have to go,” Ward said. “Just think about it, okay? And if you want to just leave it with the generic PR statement then that’s what we’ll do. And though I think you still need some time off to deal with things, you’re welcome back here whenever you feel ready, no matter what a few assholes on the board think.”

 

“Thanks, Ward,” Danny said with feeling. Sometimes it was hard to remember that he and Ward used to be at such odds with each other. That Ward had, in fact, tried to have him killed. More than once. They still sometimes butted heads - they were just too different not to - but when it came down to it he knew Ward was his friend now, someone who had their flaws but could generally be counted on.

 

Well, he knew it when his mind wasn’t spewing poison at him, at least, making him doubt everything and everybody, including himself.

 

“No worries. Take care of yourself,” Ward said.

 

“What was that about?” Colleen asked as Danny ended the call and turned back towards the others.

 

“Ward suggested I release a statement,” Danny said slowly, still feeling rather overwhelmed at the idea. “One that acknowledges that I’m having issues but states that there’s nothing wrong with that.”

 

“That… might not be a bad idea,” Claire said. “Take control of the narrative.”

 

“That’s basically what he said,” Danny said. “I… I don’t know if I can do that, though.” The gaping maw of hysteria was poking at the edges of his mind again and he fidgeted with the phone uneasily. Could he really openly bare his soul to the whole world when even just the thought of the media story had him so on edge?

 

“You don’t have to decide right away, though, right?” Colleen asked. He nodded. She eyed him for a moment, no doubt noting his restlessness. She rose from the couch and approached him. “Hey, why don’t we run through your forms together? I bet it’s been awhile since you did them.”

 

“Not since early yesterday morning,” Danny acknowledged. And he hadn’t meditated since the day before that or had a proper workout in even longer, he realized ruefully. It was undoubtedly contributing to how keyed up he felt. “I… I don’t know if I can focus enough, though,” he admitted.

 

“It can’t hurt to try,” she said. “And I bet it would make you feel better. More centered.”

 

“Forms? What does that mean?” Luke asked.

 

“They’re choreographed patterns of movements in martial arts,” Colleen explained.

 

“I thought those were called kata or something like that,” Luke said.

 

“That’s the specifically Japanese term, so appropriate to use with karate or other Japanese martial arts,” Colleen said. “Forms is the generic term.” She turned back to Danny. “So?”

 

“It’s worth a shot,” he agreed. He was about to put the phone away in his pocket when it suddenly started buzzing with another incoming call. He looked at the screen, expecting it to be Ward again or maybe Joy, but it said ‘Unknown Name’. 

 

And he just knew.

 

He could almost feel the blood draining from his face as he stared at the screen, his heart in his throat and static filling his mind.

 

“Danny?” Colleen asked, alarmed. Luke and Claire sat up straighter, obviously taking note of the sudden drastic increase in his tension. Feeling like he was in some kind of surreal dream - or perhaps a nightmare - Danny accepted the call and brought the phone to his ear.

 

“Danny,” Davos’ voice said, and Danny felt a rushing swoop of vertigo.

 

Was… was this really happening?

 

“What… what do you want?” Danny said mechanically, feeling a little like he was about to tip over into an abyss. The others were all staring at him, fuelling his sudden sense of disconnection from reality.

 

“Is that any way to greet an old friend?” Davos said.

 

“You… you call yourself a friend after… after what you did?” Danny asked, his heart clenching in his chest. He saw the moment Colleen realized who it was, her face flashing from concern to rage in a heartbeat.

 

“Just hang up, Danny,” she said urgently. “You don’t have to listen to anything that bastard has to say.”

 

“That’s  _ Davos?” _ Luke asked in disbelief.

 

Did the others reacting mean that it was really happening? Or… or would he imagine something like that, too? No… no, it  _ had _ to be real.

 

“I know the truth now, Danny,” Davos continued as if Danny hadn’t spoken, his voice filled with manic intensity.

 

“What are you talking about?” Danny asked. Luke and Claire had risen from the couch to approach him, their faces creased with worry. 

 

“Speakerphone,” Claire requested softly. Danny obeyed, pulling the phone from his ear and hitting the speaker button.

 

“The Elders  _ lied _ to us, Danny,” Davos was saying fervently. “Gao told me everything. They wanted to hoard all the power and knowledge of K’un Lun for themselves. They unfairly persecuted the members of the Hand and banished them from the city when their only crime was challenging their greed and selfishness.”

 

“You’re… you’re  _ siding _ with the Hand?” Danny asked, his eyes widening with disbelief. It had seemed unimaginable enough that Davos had even been willing to  _ work _ with Gao, but now he sounded… almost like he’d undergone a religious conversion.

 

“Holy shit,” Colleen muttered, shaking her head in disbelief.

 

“You’ll be one of us, too, Danny,” Davos continued, and now there was no mistaking the impassioned zeal in his voice. “It’s only a matter of time. Gao promised I could have you. She  _ promised. _ You’ll be mine, just as it should be.” 

 

Danny stared at the phone in horror, nausea twisting his stomach. He was dimly aware of the others reacting as well but it seemed… distant.

 

“I’ll… I’ll  _ never _ be yours, and I’ll definitely never be Hand,” he said, his voice shaking. Static was everywhere. His body felt hot and cold and numb all at the same time.

 

“You  _ are _ mine, Danny,” Davos snarled angrily. “You have been since the moment I first laid a hand on you, all those years ago. Nothing will  _ ever _ change that.”

 

“No,” Danny breathed desperately, something deep down inside of him whispering that it was true. Blood rushed in his ears, making him feel faint.

 

“That’s enough,” Luke said with a scowl, reaching for the phone, but Davos spoke again before he could grab it, his voice sounding cruel and gleeful.

 

“And the Hand is your destiny, Danny. Your mother was Hand, after all.”

 

TBC


	27. Claire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I seriously can't express how much I appreciate the kudos and comments this fic is getting. Thanks so much!

“And the Hand is your destiny, Danny. Your mother was Hand, after all.”

 

They all stood frozen for a moment, staring at the phone in mute shock. Then a hurt, broken sound escaped from Danny and it broke the spell. Luke reached for the phone again, grabbing it from Danny’s hand and ending the call just in time to cut Davos’ voice off as he started to speak again.

 

“Danny…,” Claire began carefully as he continued to just stand there as if transfixed, his face ashen and his eyes wide.

 

“Did… did that really just happen?” Danny asked shakily. Claire glanced at the others uneasily, seeing her own concern mirrored on their faces.

 

“The phone call? Yes, it did,” she replied slowly. Did he think he’d been hallucinating? Did… did he _hope_ he’d been hallucinating?

 

“But… but Davos would never… he would _never_ join the Hand!” Danny said, desperation creeping into his voice. “And my… my mom…. Why would he _say_ that about her? No… it… it wasn’t _real….”_

 

“Danny, we all heard him,” Colleen said gently. “It wasn’t a hallucination.” Danny stared at her, his eyes wild.

 

The phone started to buzz again in Luke’s hand.

 

“Unknown name,” Luke reported grimly as he checked the screen. Danny started to reach for the phone but Luke held it away, looking apologetic. “Sorry, man. I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

 

“But I need to know why he’d _say_ that,” Danny said anxiously, reaching for it again.

 

“He’d say it to upset you, Danny,” Luke said reasonably, still holding the phone away. “Don’t make it easier for him.”

 

Anger flashed over Danny’s face and Claire’s stomach plummeted. If Danny lost his temper while he was in such a state, if things escalated into a full-blown confrontation, it could be… bad. But Danny just glared at Luke for a moment before seeming to almost visibly deflate, turning away in frustration.

 

The phone stopped buzzing only to start up again a moment later. Apparently Davos didn’t appreciate being ignored, Claire thought snidely. Luke silenced the phone and then slipped it into his pocket.

 

“It’s… it’s not _true,”_ Danny said, shaking his head. “How… how could he have said that about her?”

 

Claire’s heart broke a little at the hurt in his voice. Even after everything else that Davos had done, clearly the idea that he would sink so low as to lie about his mother had shaken Danny terribly.

 

But… could they really be so sure it was a lie?

 

After the conversation she and Colleen had had with the Meachums earlier, they certainly had reason to believe _something_ strange had been going on with Heather. And the whole reason they’d even gone to talk to them in the first place was because they’d been trying to figure out what Gao’s motivations were and if she somehow could have been more involved back then than just having contact with Harold.

 

Could it actually be true? Could Heather really have been a member of the Hand? Claire’s stomach twisted with dread, and she could see her own thoughts mirrored on Colleen and Luke’s faces.

 

“He wanted to upset you, Danny, like Luke said,” Colleen said.

 

“But… but _her._ How could he lie about _her?”_ Danny said miserably. “And… and to say the Hand was _right._ That the Elders _lied._ What… what did Gao _do_ to him?”

 

“Do to him?” Colleen asked, blinking.

 

“Davos would _never_ join the Hand,” Danny said insistently. “She… she must have… have _tricked_ him or _done_ something….”

 

“Danny… he’s been _working_ with Gao, which is something else you thought he’d never do,” Luke pointed out, not unkindly. “He’s already done plenty to prove he’s… he’s not a good guy. And you never really know what someone might be capable of, especially when they’re pushed.”

 

“P-pushed?” Danny said, his face going even paler, which Claire wouldn’t have thought possible.

 

“Not by you,” Luke said quickly, catching on to what Danny was thinking. He stepped closer to him, gently taking hold of his shoulders and looking him intently in the eye. “This obsession he has with you, and whatever he does as a result of it, is _not_ your fault, Danny. He’s the only one responsible for the decisions he makes and the things he does. Not you, and not Gao. You got that?”

 

Danny just stared back at him, and it was obvious to all of them that he didn’t really believe it. Luke sighed.

 

“C’mon, Danny. You have to at least _consider_ the possibility that he really would join up with Gao. I mean, you’ve already realized you didn’t know him as well as you thought you did… right?” Luke said gently.

 

Danny stared at him for another moment before his face crumpled a little and he pulled away, walking over towards the window with his arms wrapped around himself.

 

“Okay,” he said dismally. “You’re… you’re right. I guess I… I really _don’t_ know what… what he could be capable of.” He shook his head, hugging himself even tighter. “But… my _mom._ Why did he have to bring _her_ into it? How… how could he have _lied_ about her like that?” he asked, his voice cracking.

 

Claire looked helplessly at the others. She knew they were all thinking it, that it might not _be_ a lie. They couldn’t exactly reassure him that it had just been something meaningless meant to hurt him when they weren’t sure that that was actually the case. Just because Davos had said it to hurt him didn’t necessarily mean it wasn’t true. Davos had certainly wielded hurtful truths and half-truths as weapons before.

 

But how would Danny react to such a suggestion? Not well, most likely. But they also had to be honest with him. She sighed, bracing herself.

 

“Danny,” she said carefully, stepping closer to him. “Maybe… maybe it wasn’t a lie.”

 

Danny turned back to stare at her, a look of complete and utter shock on his face. It almost felt like all the air was sucked out of the room as they all waited for his reaction with bated breath.

 

“N-no,” Danny said unsteadily, shaking his head. “ _No._ It’s not… it’s not _possible.”_

 

“Just… just think about it,” Claire said. “Gao claimed that she knew your mother. We know for a fact that Gao became involved with Harold sometime before the crash. It’s… it’s not impossible that she really did know her.”

 

“Knowing her and having been _a part of the Hand_ are two very different things!” Danny shouted angrily. “And… and it doesn’t matter because Gao was lying, too!” He turned to stalk further away from them, running his hands through his hair in agitation.

 

“You were so young when she died,” Luke said gently. “Our parents don’t always turn out to be the people we thought they were when we were little.”

 

 _“STOP!”_ Danny screamed. They all jumped in shock. He clenched his eyes shut and gripped his hair so tightly his knuckles turned white. “Just… _stop._ It’s not _true!_ You can’t… you can’t _talk_ about her like that! She… she was a _good_ person! She _loved_ me!”

 

“No one’s saying she didn’t love you,” Claire said hastily, alarmed. Danny looked like he was on the verge of a complete meltdown, his breath coming in harsh pants and his whole body shaking with emotion. She couldn’t help but think that his extremely defensive reaction could almost be considered suspicious in and of itself. God, if they ever really did confirm something awful about Heather….

 

“Danny,” Colleen said, her voice carefully controlled even as Claire could see she was trembling a little with emotion as well. “Not everyone with a connection to the Hand is… is _evil.”_

 

Claire sucked in a sharp breath, surprised that she hadn’t thought of that herself. Of _course_ association with the Hand wasn’t automatically synonymous with being a terrible person like Gao or the other leaders. _Colleen_ had been Hand. She’d considered them family, had sent student after student to Bakuto’s compound for training. All without any idea as to the Hand’s true nature.

 

Who knew just how common that ignorance might be amongst the rank and file?

 

Danny’s hands dropped to his sides as he stared at Colleen, shock and shame and then finally contrition passing over his face in waves.

 

“Of… of course,” he said. “I’m sorry, I… I didn’t mean….”

 

“I know,” Colleen said, going to him and taking his hands in hers. “It’s… it’s your mom. It’s natural for your first instinct to be to defend her. But… she was only human, Danny. And one of the Hand’s specialties is deceiving people.”

 

Danny looked at her quietly for a moment before bringing her hands up to his lips and softly kissing her knuckles.

 

“I hurt you,” he said sadly. “I’m so sorry.”  


“It’s okay, Danny. I know you didn’t mean it like that,” Colleen said with a small smile, though Claire could see the strain behind it. It _couldn’t_ have been easy for Colleen to witness Danny rejecting the idea of his mother having been with the Hand so violently, not when her own history with them was still so painful for her.

 

“I… I don’t know what to think,” Danny said miserably. Colleen pulled him into a hug and he returned the embrace with an air of desperation.

 

“We’ll figure it out,” she said firmly once they’d pulled back from each other a little. “It’s why Claire and I went to talk to Ward and Joy. Why Matt and Jessica are talking to Hogarth. We’ll keep digging, for as long as it takes, until we know the _truth_ about Gao and your parents and how much she’s been involved in things from the start.”

 

“I know. Luke told me earlier,” Danny said quietly.

 

“And I also told you that nothing we could find out could ever change the fact that you know your parents loved you, remember?” Luke said. Danny nodded mutely. “It’s still true. If you know deep down in your heart that she loved you, that doesn’t go away, even… even if she _was_ with the Hand.”

 

“I… I would have _known,”_ Danny said insistently, agitation creeping back into his posture. He flinched, glancing to the side and then quickly looking back. Colleen frowned at the gesture but didn’t say anything.

 

“How, Danny?” Claire asked gently. “You were just a little kid.” Danny grimaced a little but he had no answer. “Parents don’t share everything about their lives with their children. It doesn’t mean they don’t love them, or even that they’re actively hiding things.” She paused, searching for the right words to phrase her next point delicately. “Part of growing up is learning that your parents are just as human as everybody else, with human flaws and weaknesses. When… when you lose your parents so young… it can be hard to let go of that childhood image of them as being perfect.”

 

“Like… like Joy and Harold,” Danny said bleakly. Claire nodded.

 

“For now it’s pointless to speculate on Davos’ words alone,” she said. “Ward and Joy remembered some things we wanted to ask you about. When Jessica and Matt get back we can compare notes on that and anything else they found out from Hogarth. Like Colleen said, we’re going to keep digging until we know the truth.”

 

“O-okay,” Danny said, his shoulders slumping. Claire’s heart broke a little at how… how _defeated_ he looked. He straightened up a bit, looking at Luke. “My… my phone? Ward or Joy might try to get in touch with me….”

 

Luke looked a little uncertain, but seemed to realize they couldn’t treat him like a child by keeping the phone confiscated from him. He pulled it from his pocket and handed it over.

 

“If he calls again, I don’t think you should answer it,” Luke said with a frown. “Whether he’s telling the truth or not, all he’s spewing is poison.” Danny pressed his lips together but didn’t say anything. He tapped at the phone for a moment.

 

“There’s… there’s two voicemails. From the unknown number,” he said quietly.

 

“Just delete them, man,” Luke said. Danny stared at the phone for a moment before slipping it into his pocket without doing so. Luke frowned and looked like he was about to say something but Claire put her hand on his arm.

 

“It’s his decision,” she said. Luke nodded, though he looked unhappy about it.

 

“Why don’t we just sit and relax for a bit until the others get back?” Colleen suggested. “Or… maybe we could go lie down?” she suggested, looking at Danny.

 

“I’m fine,” Danny said, looking so far from fine it was almost ludicrous. Claire sighed. She loved him to death, but… he sure could be frustratingly stubborn.

 

She blinked a little as she realized what she’d just thought. She _loved_ him. She’d said it to Colleen in the car earlier, too, after they’d kissed. Colleen had said, ‘We love you,’ and without even thinking she’d said it back, the ‘we’ part included. Because the ‘we’ part wasn’t just important, it was _everything._ She loved both Colleen and Danny with her whole heart, just like she loved Luke, though she felt pretty certain he’d always be her number one. She didn’t know quite when it had started to grow from the kind of love one might have for their friends into something… more. Something different. But she suspected that it had been happening for awhile and that they were only just now starting to become aware.

 

And it wasn’t just her and Luke and Danny and Colleen. It was Matt and Jessica, too.

 

It was obvious that something was finally starting to move forward between them, and she was glad. It was new, and they were both pretty fragile when it came to relationships, so she suspected they might want to stick with each other for awhile while they found their footing together, but….

 

She suddenly found herself with little doubt that it wouldn’t end there.

 

The thought sent an unexpected curl of heat through her gut.

 

She… she had probably started falling in love with Matt the same night he’d turned up in her building’s dumpster. And Jessica’s brash exterior could certainly take getting used to, but more and more she was seeing that her snide remarks and seemingly uncaring attitude were in many ways just as much a mask as the one Matt wore as Daredevil.

 

It was certainly going to be… _interesting_ to see where all of this led. She felt another jolt of anticipation at that thought, too.

 

Though for now they certainly had more pressing things to deal with, she thought ruefully.

 

Claire went to the kitchen to make them all some tea while the others returned to the couches and Luke turned on the TV, which was still on the National Geographic channel. Just as the kettle started to boil there was a knock at the door and she went to answer it since she was closest. Matt and Jessica had returned.

 

“How’d it go?” she asked as they followed her back to the kitchen. She pulled two more mugs out of the cupboard, glad that she’d filled the kettle all the way so there’d be enough for all of them. Luke rose from the couch to come join them, though once again Colleen stayed with Danny.

 

“It was… interesting,” Matt said. “We’ve got a lot to go over, but it might be wise to leave the discussion for tomorrow. It’s been a long day and, well, it’s likely to be… upsetting.”

 

“I don’t know if that’s such a great idea, actually,” Claire said softly, glancing out at Danny and Colleen. They were curled together on the couch almost like puppies. Sad, tired puppies. The thought made her heart ache.

 

“Why?” Jessica asked with a scowl.

 

“We had some, uh, excitement here while you guys were gone,” Luke explained. “Not long after Danny’s new phone arrived from Rand, Davos called him.”

 

 _“What?”_ Jessica snarled. Claire raised her eyebrows at her and sent a significant look towards the living room. Jessica curled her lip but nodded that she had gotten the message - try to keep her voice down so they wouldn’t disturb Danny and Colleen.

 

“Gao _must_ still have people on the inside at Rand,” Matt said. “Between her knowing about the office wall and now knowing when he’d gotten the new phone.”

 

“Not our biggest problem at the moment,” Claire sighed. “Apparently Gao’s managed to actually _recruit_ him into the Hand. And part of that involves her having… having promised him he could ‘have’ Danny.”

 

Matt sucked in a sharp breath and Jessica stared at her, her face going ashen.

 

“Jesus _fucking_ Christ, I’m going to rip out both of their spleens,” she hissed, practically vibrating with rage. “That is just… just so fucking _gross._ Danny is not a… a _thing_ whose _ownership_ can be fucking bartered over between psychos.” She snapped her mouth shut, clenching her fists and taking a few deep breaths, obviously trying to calm herself down. Claire couldn’t help but be eerily reminded of Danny doing the same thing. “I’m good,” she said after a moment, rolling her neck like she was stretching out tension from her muscles.

 

“There’s, uh, there’s more,” Luke said.

 

“More?” Jessica groaned.

 

“Davos said the Hand was Danny’s destiny because his mother had been Hand,” Claire said.

 

“Jesus,” Jessica said, blinking.

 

“He couldn’t have reacted well to that,” Matt said.

 

“We managed to avoid a total meltdown, but it was close,” Luke said quietly, glancing out towards the living room but by all appearances neither Colleen nor Danny were paying them any attention. Danny was gazing out the window again and Colleen was at least pretending to watch the TV, though she kept looking at Danny worriedly. “With Gao and Davos out there potentially waiting to drop another bomb on us at any moment, we need to get this figured out as quickly as we can.”

 

“Seems so,” Matt said with a sigh. “Well, Hogarth confirmed that there were rumours at Rand about Heather being unstable, and that it was commonly believed to be the reason why Wendell brought Danny to the office. And apparently she used to work for Wendell and they had a very whirlwind relationship that left a lot of people suspecting she’d purposely trapped her billionaire boss into marriage by getting pregnant.”

 

“Holy shit,” Claire said, her eyes widening.

 

“She couldn’t comment on her being cold to Danny when he was younger because that was before she knew them, but she was able to corroborate a lot of what Ward and Joy told you about her overprotectiveness and not wanting other people around Danny, though she did add a new detail,” Matt continued.

 

“Apparently sometimes on the days he was at the office he had weird bruises,” Jessica said grimly.

 

“Oh… oh, no,” Claire breathed, her heart sinking. Luke grimaced.

 

“Things that looked like finger marks on his wrists or arms, sometimes marks or bruises on his face,” Matt continued somberly. “She said she tried to ask him about it once but he got noticeably uncomfortable and brushed her off.”

 

“And neither she or anyone else ever pursued it, apparently,” Jessica said bitterly. “People didn’t even gossip about it like they did everything else about Heather.”

 

“But no one knows for sure Heather was actually hurting him?” Luke said, frowning. “Kids have accidents all the time….”

 

“Yeah, sure, accidental bruises that just happened to look like finger marks,” Jessica said snidely. Luke gave her a look and she sighed. “Sorry,” she said. “I’m still… rattled, I guess.”

 

“You’re not wrong, though,” Luke conceded unhappily.

 

“What about Gao? Any leads on her?” Claire asked tiredly. God, the whole thing had her heart aching so badly.

 

“Hogarth told us about some arts committees Heather was involved with that warrant further digging,” Matt said. “They would have been an ideal way for someone to establish contact with a rich businessman’s wife.”

 

“Other than that the plan is to just keep digging into Heather’s background,” Jessica said with a sigh. “I mean, fuck, if she really was actually a _member_ of the Hand who knows how far back that could have started?”

 

“You’re… you’re not suggesting Gao actually orchestrated Danny’s parent’s marriage, are you?” Luke asked, horrified.

 

“Fucking _hell,_ I hope it doesn’t go back _that_ far,” Jessica said with feeling. It went without saying how incredibly devastating that would be for Danny to learn.

 

“I think the most likely time Gao would have made contact is when Heather’s sudden change occurred, when Danny was around five,” Matt said. “It’s hard to imagine what else could cause such a dramatic difference. Though….”

 

“Though if she’s the reason Heather suddenly started… started to love him then it’s still fucking horrible,” Claire said grimly. Heavy silence reigned for a moment.

 

“Anyway, while we were on our way back Hogarth texted me the name of a woman Heather left some money to in her will. I’ll start from there and see where it leads,” Jessica finally said.

 

“What about the nanny? The one before Heather changed? She might know something useful,” Luke suggested.

 

“We can look into that, too,” Jessica said nodding. “Maybe the Meachums know who she was? Or the nanny _they_ had would probably know at least, since their families were close and they probably worked together a lot.”

 

“For now I guess we should ask Danny about what he remembers,” Claire said. “He might know stuff about Heather’s background that could give us more leads. And we can try to bring up the… the bruises and Heather’s odd behaviour. _Tactfully,”_ she added, shooting Jessica a look.

 

“I’ll behave, I swear,” she said, throwing her hands up in the air.

 

With that they all filed into the living room, mugs of tea in hand. Though Jessica had given hers a disdainful look, she hadn’t turned it down, instead going over to the wet bar and adding a liberal amount of scotch from the nearly empty bottle. Luke and Claire each carried a second mug for Danny and Colleen. After they had all settled into place and Claire had clicked the TV off a somewhat awkward silence fell over them. None of them were eager to have the conversation, least of all Danny, who sat staring down into his mug of tea as he fidgeted with it anxiously, turning it round and round in his hands.

 

“So,” Claire said, biting the bullet. “Danny, could you tell us what you remember about your mother? Like… did she ever talk about her parents, where she lived growing up, things like that?” It seemed a simple enough place to start.

 

“She… she didn’t like to talk about them,” Danny said, not looking up. “They died when she was pretty young.” The ‘just like mine did’ went unspoken but they all heard it. “I… I think she grew up somewhere upstate? I’m not sure. Sorry.”

 

“That’s okay,” Claire said. “Do you know who she lived with after they died?”

 

“I… I don’t know,” Danny replied.

 

“How about any friends she had other than the Meachums?” Matt asked. “Anyone come to mind who might have been around a lot?” Danny chewed his bottom lip thoughtfully for a moment.

 

“There were a couple of ladies from the arts committee she volunteered for,” he said. “But they didn’t come around often and when they did they only ever talked about the arts stuff so I don’t know if they were friends, really. And there was her nurse, Gina.”

 

Claire exchanged stunned looks with the others. This was the first mention they were hearing of anything like that.

 

“Her… her nurse?” Jessica asked, sitting forward with interest.

 

“Yeah, because of her headaches,” Danny continued, apparently oblivious to their shock. “Gina wasn’t around all the time or anything, but she’d stay home with Mom when she wasn’t feeling well and I went to the office with Dad, stuff like that.”

 

“Ward and Joy never mentioned your mom having a private nurse,” Colleen said.

 

“I don’t think many people knew,” Danny said, frowning a little. He shifted uncomfortably. “I think… maybe she was embarrassed?”

 

“And these headaches she would have… what do you remember about them?” Claire asked carefully.

 

Danny didn’t answer right away, shifting some more. It was obvious that the subject was making him very uncomfortable. And they’d only just begun, Claire thought grimly.

 

“I… I don’t see how any of this could have anything to do with Gao,” Danny finally replied.

 

“We’re trying to determine when Gao might have first contacted her, if she even really did,” Matt said gently. “It’s hard to say what could be relevant, so we’re trying to find out as much as we can about her.” Danny pressed his lips together, clearly unhappy. He drank some of his tea before continuing.

 

“She… she would just start not feeling well, and it would gradually get worse over a few days,” he said, his gaze darting around uneasily from his mug to the window to the kitchen, basically to anywhere but at one of them. Claire realized he hadn’t made eye contact with any of them since the conversation began. “And then… and then I’d go to the office with Dad so she could rest and feel better.”

 

“What would happen when she wasn’t feeling well?” Jessica asked intently. Claire shot her a look and Jessica raised an eyebrow at her as if to ask how that had not been tactful enough. When Claire looked back at Danny she was a little startled at the look on his face. Like… like he’d seen a ghost or something. His breathing had picked up a bit, too, she noted with some alarm, and he was gripping his mug so tightly his knuckles had turned white.

 

“Danny?” Colleen prompted softly, leaning closer and putting her hand on his arm.

 

“She’d just… get really tired, you know?” he finally said. “Just… not feel well in general. And… and her head would hurt. That’s… that’s all.”

 

Jessica stared at him and Claire could almost see the gears turning in her head.

 

“When I get a bad headache it makes me irritable as fuck. Well, even _more_ irritable,” Jessica said. “Did she get irritable when she wasn’t feeling well, too?”

 

“W-what?” Danny asked, flinching a little. “I… I don’t know what you mean.”

 

Claire decided to jump in before Jessica pulled a muscle trying out her version of being tactful. Danny was going to be upset either way, but she could at least try to be a bit more gentle about it.

 

“Hogarth told Jessica and Matt that sometimes you’d have… have bruises when she saw you at Rand,” Claire said softly. “Some of them looked like finger marks.”

 

Danny flinched again, his face going chalk white.

 

“She… she didn’t mean to,” he almost whispered, his voice shaking.

 

“Mean to _what?”_ Jessica demanded, her eyes flashing.

 

“I… I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” Danny said sharply, suddenly rising to his feet. They all started in surprise. “I’m… I’m tired. I’m going to bed.”

 

“You… you haven’t eaten dinner yet,” Claire said, reeling a little.

 

“I’m not hungry,” he said. “I… I’m just really tired. I’m sorry.” He practically fled the room, abandoning his mug on the island counter as he passed it on his way to the hallway. Colleen rose to her feet and followed after him without a word, dropping her mug on the counter as well.

 

“Well, that went well,” Jessica said, taking a deep drink from her own mug before flopping back on the couch to stare up at the ceiling.

 

TBC


	28. Danny

Danny knew it was cowardly to run away. But he didn’t have a _choice._ He… he couldn’t listen to any more. Davos’ mocking laughter echoed around him as he hurried down the hallway and he covered his ears and shook his head as if that might drown it out, though of course the gesture was futile.

 

_“Some of them looked like finger marks,”_ Claire’s voice said, as loud and clear as it had just been in the living room. Danny couldn’t hold back a small moan of dismay.

 

He didn’t realize that Colleen had been following him until they’d reached the bedroom and she closed the door behind them.

 

“I… I _can’t,”_ he said to her desperately, not even sure what he meant. Static was overwhelming him and… and things were _itching_ at the back of his mind.

 

Things that he… that he didn’t want to think about.

 

“Shh, it’s okay,” Colleen said soothingly. She came forward and took his shaking hands in hers, her thumbs brushing over his knuckles. “We don’t have to talk about anything right now. It’s been a long day and we’re both tired. Let’s… let’s just go to sleep, okay?”

 

“O-okay,” Danny said after a moment, feeling a little bit of the tension start to ease from his shoulders with the knowledge that he wasn’t going to be pushed to talk. He stood still for a moment, just letting himself feel Colleen’s calm presence.

 

_“She’s not as calm as she’s pretending to be,”_ Davos’ voice sneered, causing Danny to flinch a little.

 

Danny looked at Colleen more carefully, and he could see that it was true. Her breathing was too carefully controlled and there was a tight, almost pinched look to the set of her mouth, even as her thumbs continued their slow, rhythmic circles over his knuckles.

 

He… he was _scaring_ her. Again. But she was pretending to be calm for his sake. Was _being strong_ for his sake. Because she thought it was what he needed.

 

God, he didn’t deserve her.

 

He pulled her into an embrace, wrapping his arms around her and squeezing her like his life depended on it. It kind of felt like it did. She hugged him back just as tightly and they stood like that for a long time, holding each other up.

 

“I’m sorry,” he finally said, his arms still around her. “I’m sorry to be dragging you through all this. I… I love you so much, I don’t-”

 

“Shh,” she said gently, cutting him off. “I love you, too, Danny. That’s all that matters. Let’s just get some rest, okay?” He nodded and they slowly pulled apart.

 

They stayed mostly silent as they went through the motions of getting ready for bed, changing into loose clothing and brushing their teeth. Once again Danny was rather glad for the absence of a mirror in their bathroom, though he knew he really ought to see to having it replaced.

 

But he didn’t really want to look himself in the face just then. His head felt so… so _disjointed_ that he was almost afraid he wouldn’t recognize the person looking back.

 

_“Some of them looked like finger marks,”_ Claire’s voice said again.

 

“Stop,” he whispered, shuddering as he rubbed his temples. When he turned around Colleen was looking at him sadly but she didn’t say anything. She just reached out for his hand and he took it gratefully, following her back into the bedroom.

 

They climbed into bed and Colleen nestled up against Danny’s side, wrapping an arm around him and laying her head on his chest.

 

“Everything will look better in the morning,” she said softly.

 

Danny wasn’t so sure, but if she was going to choose to believe so maybe it’d be enough for both of them. He craned his neck up to place a kiss on top of her head before settling back and closing his eyes, taking deep, measured breaths, praying without much hope that his mind would quiet enough so that he could get some real rest. It turned out that his body was so exhausted that he drifted into sleep with surprising ease.

 

~~~

 

_Danny couldn’t move. He couldn’t_ **_move_** _. No matter how much he twisted and turned and yanked, the heavy leather straps just wouldn’t give. He was trapped. Helpless. Where..?_

 

_Birch. He was in Birch._

 

_Nononononono. Danny thrashed harder against the restraints, moaning. The grinning orderly was standing over him, handful of pills held aloft._

 

_“This is your destiny,” the orderly said, leaning over to stuff the medication into Danny’s mouth, clamping his hand over his lips to force him to swallow. “It’s_ **_always_ ** _been your destiny. You’ll never escape it.”_

 

_And then suddenly it wasn’t the orderly leaning over him, leering. It was Davos, his eyes burning with manic intensity. Danny tried to scream but Davos’ hand was still clamped firmly over his mouth and all he could do was continue to thrash uselessly._

 

_Davos laughed, climbing onto the bed to straddle Danny’s hips, all without removing his hand from Danny’s mouth, keeping him silent._

 

_“This is your destiny,” Davos said, echoing the orderly. “It’s_ **_always_ ** _been your destiny. You’ll never escape_ **_me_** _.”_

 

_Danny tried to shake his head in desperate denial. He could feel tears tracking down his temples and he felt_ **_weak_** _. He felt weak and pathetic and helpless right down to his_ **_bones_** _._

 

_“The_ **_Hand_ ** _is your destiny,” Davos practically purred. “_ **_She_ ** _knew it, too. You know it’s true.”_

 

_Davos’ other hand had started to slide up under Danny’s shirt, caressing his chest, and he rolled his hips against him, making the hardness in his pants obvious. Danny closed his eyes, squeezing out more tears. He gasped harshly for breath through his nose. His head was swimming, the drugs he’d been forced to swallow already dragging him under their spell._

 

_“You were always meant to be mine,” Davos whispered directly into his ear, his breath ghosting over Danny’s face. “I_ **_will_ ** _have you again. And I know how to make you… docile.”_

 

_The world exploded as Danny thrashed and screamed with renewed vigour._

 

_Suddenly there wasn’t a crushing weight on top of him anymore. He pulled and twisted but his hands and feet were still restrained. Slowly he realized he wasn’t lying flat anymore, either. He was tilted nearly upright on some kind of strange dolly-like apparatus._

 

_“Mr. Rand. I know I speak for all of us when I say how nice it is to have you with us again. This time for good.”_

 

_Alexandra._

 

_“N-no,” Danny gasped, continuing to pull at the restraints despite their lack of give. “I’m not yours. My… my friends… they came for me.”_

 

_“They wanted to save the city, not_ **_you_** _,_ _” she said, smiling. Danny shook his head in denial, trying not to whimper pathetically. Blood was leaking gruesomely from the corner of her mouth, was staining the front of her expensive blouse where Elektra’s sai were still protruding obscenely from her chest. “Soon you’ll be back with the Hand where you belong. It’s only a matter of time. And you’ll never escape, and no one will ever come for you.”_

 

_Suddenly Alexandra was gripping his face, staring into his eyes as if she could see into his soul. His breath caught in his chest._

 

_“It’s your_ **_destiny_ ** _to serve the Hand, Mr. Rand,” she said sharply. “She knew it, too.”_

 

_Danny screamed again, shaking his head frantically. And then he was falling, falling, falling…._

 

_“You have a great destiny, Danny,” his mother’s voice said._

 

_Danny looked around, dazed. He was sitting on the floor of his childhood playroom, a handful of toy cars laid out in front of him. And he was… young. No more than seven or eight._

 

_His mother was sitting on the floor across from him, her eyes boring into him intensely. They’d been playing with the cars together, he suddenly remembered. He loved it when his mother played with him._

 

_“I do?” Danny asked, his voice eager even as something… itched at the back of his mind._

 

_“Yes, you do,” Heather said, sounding distant and dreamy. “You’re going to achieve wonders you can’t even imagine. You’re going to change the whole_ **_world_** _, baby.”_

 

_Danny grinned. That sounded amazing! But how was_ **_he_ ** _going to do something as great as that? And how did she know? She always sounded so sure when she talked about it. And… and why did he suddenly feel uneasiness curling in his stomach? Everything was okay. Nobody was upset. Everything was_ **_okay_** _._

 

_“But some people won’t like it. They’ll… they’ll try to stop you. Try to deceive you,” Heather continued, her eyes almost seeming to glow with a steadily increasing fervour. She’d stopped pushing the cars around with him and had started clenching and unclenching her hands spasmodically in her lap. Danny’s stomach flipped over anxiously._

 

_“I won’t let them. I promise!” he told her quickly. Everything was okay. Sometimes… sometimes he could head it off before it escalated too much…._

 

_“They’re everywhere, you know,” she said, leaning forward, her gaze darting around the room as if she expected the mysterious ‘they’ to jump out from behind a curtain at any moment. “Ordinary people are jealous of those with great destinies. They’ll try to take your power from you, to use it for their own.”_

 

_“I know, Mom, I’ll be careful,” Danny said. He didn’t really understand what she was talking about but usually it was best to just… play along._

 

_But... it didn’t always help._

 

_Heather suddenly lunged forward, grabbing his right forearm and_ **_squeezing_** _. Danny gasped with pain and surprise, dropping the toy car he’d been holding as his fingers spasmed._

 

_“You’re not_ **_listening_ ** _to me!” Heather shouted, her face red and her eyes wild and manic. Danny whimpered. “You have to be more than just_ **_careful_** _. You can’t let them stop you or else it will all… will all have been for nothing! It’ll all have been_ **_meaningless_** _!” Her grip tightened and she gave him a hard shake as if for emphasis._

 

_“M-Mom!” Danny cried. Her fingers were digging into his flesh, digging into his_ **_bones_** _, and it hurt. It hurt a_ **_lot_** _. He didn’t want to be a baby but he couldn’t stop a few tears from leaking from his eyes._

 

_Heather blinked at him for a moment before her gaze dropped to where she had his arm in a death grip. She suddenly let go as if she’d been burned and Danny cradled his arm against his chest, trying not to whimper at the throbbing pain._

 

_“Danny, I…,” Heather began, looking dazed. She started to reach for him again but then drew back, her face crumpling. “I’m… I’m so sorry,” she said. And then she covered her face with her hands and started to cry._

 

_“I’m okay, Mom, really!” Danny said desperately. She only cried harder, her shoulders shaking with the sobs. “Please don’t cry, Mom!” Danny said. He shifted up onto his knees and shuffled around to her side so that he could drape his uninjured arm around her in an awkward half-hug. “Please don’t cry,” he repeated frantically, holding her as tightly as he could manage and leaning his head against her shoulder. Tears were pouring down his own face, too. It was_ **_scary_ ** _when she got like this. The pain in his chest from seeing her upset was a thousand times worse than the pain in his arm. “Everything’s okay, I promise. Everything’s going to be okay.” He continued to repeat the meaningless platitudes over and over again for what felt like ages as she cried and cried and cried…._

 

_Things seemed to kind of float away indistinctly, and he was suddenly acutely aware that he was dreaming and very close to waking._

 

_But he could still_ **_feel_ ** _her…._

 

_“Oh, baby. I’m_ **_so_ ** _sorry. About everything. But you need to be strong now. For me, and for yourself….”_

 

_There was the ghostly sensation of lips brushing across his forehead in a gentle kiss-_

 

-and then Danny was blinking up at the dimly lit ceiling of the penthouse bedroom.

 

“M-Mom?” he gasped, sitting up and looking around dazedly. Colleen stirred beside him, and then sat up as well.

 

“Danny? Everything okay?” she asked fuzzily, rubbing sleep from her eyes.

 

“It… it was just a… a dream,” he said, his fingers rising almost of their own volition to touch his forehead. It had felt so _real…._

 

“You… you said something about your mom?” Colleen asked, seeming to come more fully awake.

 

“Yeah,” Danny said distantly. “She… she was in it.”

 

_“She was talking about your great destiny, Danny,”_ Davos’ voice whispered tauntingly. _“As if she_ **_knew_** _. What do you think that means?”_

 

Danny shuddered, coldness seeping through his veins. No. No, it… it hadn’t meant _anything._ His mind clamped down on pursuing that thought any further.

 

“Danny,” Colleen said, a bit more sharpness in her voice. “Are you _sure_ you’re okay?”

 

“I… I don’t know,” Danny said honestly. He looked down at his forearm, rubbing gently over where his mother’s fingers had left behind dark bruises in his flesh so many years ago. That time, and many other similar times, too.

 

It… it wasn’t like he’d _forgotten_ , or anything like that. He just… didn’t like to think about it.

 

So he didn’t.

 

But now the others were _asking_ about it. Were _making_ him think about it. And he… he felt confused.

 

Why _was_ it so… so hard to think about? Even now, after their questions had dredged it all up, after the dream... it still felt like there were things hovering just outside of his grasp. Relevant, _important_ things itching at the back of his mind, filling him with some unidentifiable feeling of dread.

 

But why? It… it wasn’t like what the others said about the training in K’un Lun. Wasn’t anything to… to be _upset_ about. It _wasn’t._

 

She’d _loved_ him.

 

She had just… gotten worked up sometimes. They were _accidents._ Everyone had accidents, right?

 

“Danny,” Colleen said softly, putting a hand on his shoulder. “What is it?”

 

“Hm?” he asked distractedly, lost in his thoughts.

 

“You’re crying,” she said.

 

Danny blinked in surprise, wiping his face and indeed finding it damp with tears. He swallowed back the sudden lump in his throat.

 

“Was it the dream?” Colleen prompted gently. “Or… or something else?” Her hand dropped from his shoulder to touch where he’d been rubbing his arm. He flushed, his stomach flipping over uneasily.

 

“I know what you guys are probably thinking,” he said. “But it wasn’t like that.”

 

The words sounded familiar. Hadn’t he said similar things to them about… about Davos?

 

_“And look how that turned out,”_ Davos’ voice said, laughing. Danny fought back a shudder. It wasn’t the same, it just _wasn’t!_

 

“Okay,” Colleen said, threading her fingers through his to clasp their hands together. She didn’t push him to continue, letting him go at his own pace.

 

“Mom could get… upset sometimes. W-worked up,” Danny said haltingly, tension creeping into his muscles despite his best efforts to remain calm. “And she’d… forget herself. G-grab me a… a little too h-hard, or… or…. But she didn’t _mean_ it! She was always sorry! They were _accidents!”_ Colleen pressed her lips together, but didn’t say anything for a moment.

 

“She’d leave marks, though?” Colleen asked.

 

“She didn’t mean to!” Danny repeated insistently. “It’s not like… like….”

 

“It’s not like she beat you like they did in K’un Lun?” Colleen asked softly.

 

Danny sucked in a sharp breath, looking away.

 

“She never did _anything_ like that,” he said emphatically. “There’s… there’s no comparison.”

 

Colleen was quiet for another long moment. Danny concentrated on taking deep, even breaths. He could feel himself hovering on some kind of precipice and knew that it would take very little to send him spiralling. He desperately didn’t want to lose control like that again.

 

“You said the other day that you were... confused about what happened in K’un Lun,” Colleen said slowly. “That you weren’t sure you agreed the training was abusive. But… you do see a difference between it and… and what happened with your mom?”

 

“Of course,” Danny said, blinking. His mom had had... accidents. She never _meant_ to hurt him, and she was always sorry afterwards. When the monks punished him, when they’d beat him, when they’d put him through the trials... it had been a deliberate choice, it was part of the training. They _had_ meant to hurt him, it was pretty much the whole point….

 

Danny’s heart lurched in his chest.

 

They had _meant_ to hurt him.

 

Suddenly Lei Kung was standing at the foot of the bed, glowering. Danny shivered, coldness once again seeping through his blood, making him feel chilled straight through to his bones.

 

It… it wasn’t even just that there had been deliberate intent when they had hurt him. When… when he _really_ let himself think about it, if he really looked at it honestly, he knew deep down that some of the teachers had seemed to _enjoy_ punishing him for every little infraction, above and beyond what they would punish the other students for. Some had been especially harsh with him during training and when it had been his turn to undergo the trials, being far more brutal with him than with the others. Not _all_ of them, certainly… but some.

 

Maybe the training itself hadn’t been abusive, and maybe it had been. He still wasn’t quite sure how he felt about that, though he thought that he was slowly starting to understand why the others felt that it was. But the treatment he’d so often been singled out for….

 

Maybe… maybe that, at least, really _did_ qualify.

 

He… he didn’t like how that thought made him feel.

 

If… if it _had_ been abuse then that made him a… a _victim._

 

Just like he’d been… been _Davos’_ victim. That was something he… he really just couldn’t deny anymore, not even to himself, even as the thought made his skin crawl and his stomach lurch and static pull at his brain.

 

He felt… he felt _weak._ Tainted. Damaged.

 

_“You have always been such a weak and pathetic child,”_ Lei Kung sneered. Danny shivered again.

 

“Danny?” Colleen prompted. He realized he’d been quiet for awhile, once again lost in his thoughts.

 

“I… I think maybe you guys were right about… about K’un Lun,” Danny said quietly, his voice shaking a little. “Maybe it _was_ a-abuse. They… they wanted to hurt me. S-some of them even enjoyed it, would… would use any excuse to punish me.” Colleen squeezed his hand and wrapped her other arm around him, pulling him close.

 

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that,” she said sadly. His breath hitched in his chest and he realized tears were tracking down his face again. “Having… having something like that happen to you… being the victim of abuse, _any_ kind of abuse… it doesn’t make you weak, Danny,” she added.

 

Danny started a little in surprise, canting his head to look at her. She smiled a little, though it was still sad.

 

“I can see it all over your face,” she explained gently. She shifted around to face him more fully, wiping the tears from his cheeks before gently cupping his face in her hands and looking him intently in the eye.

 

“You are not responsible for what they did to you,” she said firmly. “Not that bastard Davos, not Lei Kung or the other teachers, not _anyone._ None of it was your fault. And though it certainly did hurt you, you’re… you’re not _broken,_ Danny. You’re not defective or damaged beyond repair or anything else your brain or… or those asshole hallucinations might be trying to tell you. You’re _you._ And I _love_ you, everything about you. Even the imperfect parts. Because guess what? _Nobody’s_ perfect.”

 

Danny could only stare at her for a moment, feeling raw and vulnerable and stripped bare somehow.

 

Feeling… feeling _loved._

 

He closed his eyes and tipped his head forward until their foreheads were touching.

 

“Thank you,” he breathed. “You’re… you’re amazing.”

 

“You’re amazing, too, you know,” she said. “Everything you’ve been through… not everyone would have made it through all that. You’re a _survivor,_ Danny. That’s the opposite of being weak.”

 

“You’re a survivor, too,” he said, pulling back to look at her. Her hands dropped from his face only for her to take hold of his and interlace their fingers together. “You’re a survivor and you’re amazing and I _love_ you.” She looked down at their clasped hands, smiling almost shyly. He took the opportunity to just _look_ at her, drinking in her presence and how lovely she looked in the early dawn light filtering in through the blinds. He loved her so much his heart _ached_ with it.

 

After a few quiet moments had passed Colleen’s smile faded a little and she moved one of her hands to once again gently touch where he’d rubbed his forearm after waking from the dream.

 

“If you say she didn’t mean to hurt you, that they were accidents, then I believe you, but… it still must have been scary for you,” she said softly.

 

Danny’s heart stuttered in his chest and static rushed forward to needle at the edges of his brain again. His first instinct was to deny it. But… but it _had_ been scary. Scary and upsetting and… and….

 

“Danny!” Colleen said urgently, holding his shoulder and giving him a little shake. He blinked at her, suddenly feeling rather groggy and disoriented.

 

“W-what?” he asked dazedly.

 

“You… you just completely blanked out for a moment there,” she said, her eyes wide. “I called your name a couple of times and you didn’t even blink.”

 

“I… I don’t know what happened,” Danny said, feeling shaken and off-balance. “I was thinking about what you just said and… I don’t know.” He swallowed past the lump in his throat. “It… it _was_ s-scary when… when it happened but I…. There’s… there’s s-something there I… I can’t…. I don’t want to think about it right now, o-okay?”

 

“Okay, it’s okay,” she said quickly, rubbing his shoulder soothingly. “We… we can talk about it later.”

 

“I’m sorry,” he said miserably. “It’s not that I don’t _want_ to tell you, I… I’m just not really sure myself.” He struggled to find the right words to explain. “It’s like… something itching at the back of my mind and… and I just can’t… can’t go there. Not yet.”

 

“It’s okay,” Colleen said again. “Don’t push yourself if you’re not ready.”

 

“I… I don’t like the idea of you or the others thinking badly of her,” Danny said sadly.

 

“Of course you don’t, she was your mom,” Colleen said. “No one is trying to… to villainize her. We’re just trying to figure things out.”

 

“It… it felt like she was here,” Danny said softly, his hand rising again to touch his forehead.

 

“When you were dreaming?” Colleen asked.

 

“When… when I was waking up,” he explained. “It was almost like I could feel her presence. And… and she said she was sorry. For everything. And that I had to be strong now.”

 

“You’re sure it wasn’t part of the dream?” she asked.

 

“It felt… different,” he replied. “And… and she’s right. I’ve been _useless_ the past few days. All I’ve done is make things worse, like when I snuck off to see Davos. I… I have to be _stronger._ I don’t want to just sit here being babysat while all of you do all the work.”

 

“You haven’t been useless, Danny, nobody thinks that!” Colleen protested. “It doesn’t make you weak to need help, and you’re going through a _lot_ right now. Everyone understands that you’re-”

 

“That I’m falling apart?” Danny interjected, a note of bitterness creeping into his voice. “Do you think I don’t feel it? That I don’t know that I’m… I’m coming apart at the seams? I _know_ I’m… I’m getting worse. I mean, look at what just happened! You know it, and the others do, too. I… I almost feel envious of crazy people who don’t _realize_ they’re crazy. Feeling it happening, feeling like all of my control is just slipping through my fingers like water, like… like I can’t even trust what’s real sometimes… it’s… it’s _awful.”_ He stopped, sucking in a sharp breath and trying to calm himself before he could get too worked up. The last thing he wanted was to fall apart again moments after he’d said he needed to be stronger.

 

“Claire said it would probably get worse before it got better,” Colleen said softly, taking hold of his hands again. “But it _will_ get better. I promise, Danny.”

 

“How can you know that for sure?” Danny asked weakly, squeezing her hands like they were a lifeline.

 

“I guess I can’t,” she said. “But I have faith. Faith in you, and faith in all of us. And if my faith ever falters, one of the others will be there to bolster it up. That’s just how it’s going to be from now on. We’re not alone anymore. Things will get better, because we’ll _make_ them better.”

 

“I still can’t let you guys do all the work, though,” Danny said with a sigh. “I… I feel like a burden.”

 

“You could never be a burden, Danny,” Colleen said gently. “Your number one priority right now should be your mental well-being. Like I was saying before, everyone understands that.”

 

“Gao and Davos are a danger to the people I care about,” Danny said firmly. “I want to be more involved in stopping them. Just… just sitting here all day, dwelling on things… I don’t think it’s helping.” He paused, his face flushing a little. “ And… and watching the others go off and have low-voiced group conversations where I won’t be able to hear them, knowing they’re talking about things having to do with me, it… it doesn’t feel good.”

 

“I can understand that,” Colleen said. “But I don’t think anyone was actively trying to exclude you, exactly. They’re just trying to give you… space.”

 

“And they’re afraid I could freak out at any moment,” Danny said drily. Colleen raised her eyebrows, apparently at a loss as to how to respond to that bald-faced declaration. He chuckled a little, surprised that he could. “I… I don’t really blame them. I’ve given them more than enough reason to think so. And… and it’s not like it isn’t _true.”_ He chewed his bottom lip for a moment, trying to find the right words. “Ward told me that it would take time for me to get used to the idea of people knowing. I… I think I’m starting to. It’s still a big mess in my head, like everything else, but… it’s not like it was at first. The others all found out and… and they didn’t leave. They’re even trying to _help._ That story came out in the Bulletin and… and it’s _terrible,_ and I’m still having trouble wrapping my mind around it, but... the world didn’t end. So I think… I think I can start to accept that the others know I could… could freak out at any moment without _that_ making me freak out. If that makes any sense.”

 

“Somehow it kind of does,” Colleen said with a small smile. “See? That’s something right there that’s already getting better.”

 

“I guess you’re right,” Danny said with a wry smile before quickly sobering again. “I’m… I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, or… or that something might not… set me off at any moment or make me feel differently again. I’ve… I’ve never felt less in control in my life and I… I can’t trust my own mind. But I… I _have_ to start accepting that this is the way it is, right? You all keep saying it’s not something to be ashamed of. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to fully believe that, but I know I _never_ will if I don’t at least make an honest effort to try.”

 

“You’ll get there, I promise,” Colleen said. “And we’ll all be with you every step of the way.”

 

“Thank you,” Danny said emphatically. “I’d never be able to do it without you.”

 

It was true. It was absolutely chilling to contemplate where he might be now if he’d never met Colleen.

 

Colleen glanced over at the alarm clock on the night table, which read 06:34 am.

 

“I think that’s the most sleep you’ve gotten in days,” she said with a smile. Danny nodded. He wasn’t sure what time it’d been when he’d retreated to the bedroom last night, but it had been fairly early. He certainly wouldn’t go so far as to say he felt great, but he didn’t feel the bone-deep exhaustion that had been plaguing him for awhile anymore.

 

“Are you hungry? We could see if anyone else is up, get breakfast on the go,” Colleen suggested.

 

“I think I want a shower first,” Danny said. “And… I should probably trim my beard. I haven’t done it in awhile,” he added ruefully, running a hand over his face.

 

“Yeah, you’re starting to look homeless again,” she said, reaching over to give his beard a playful tug.

 

“Do you want me to get a haircut, too?” he asked with a grin. It felt _good_ to be able to joke around with her a little, despite how… _brittle_ he knew he still was.

 

“Naw, I like that your curls are coming back,” she said, reaching up to run both her hands through his hair. Their gazes met and Danny felt his heart skip a beat. She was _so_ beautiful, and it felt like he hadn’t seen that gorgeous smile of hers very often lately, for which he only had himself to blame. He leaned forward to bring their lips together in a kiss. She deepened it, pulling him closer. When they pulled apart a few minutes later, they were both breathless.

 

“You… you could join me in the shower. It’s big enough for two,” Danny found himself suggesting. She raised her eyebrows. “Not… not to _do_ anything really,” he said quickly, flushing. “I… I don’t know if that’s the greatest idea right now, but… but I want to be close to you.”

 

“It _would_ be more efficient,” she said, smiling. “C’mon, let’s go shower.”

 

To say that the shower in the master bath was big enough for two was an understatement. It probably could have fit four comfortably - and Danny was absolutely _not_ going to think of the possibilities that _that_ brought to mind just then. It was true what he’d said to Colleen, somehow he could feel that attempting anything too… too _sexual_ just then probably wouldn’t go well. He wasn’t even really sure why, though he flushed a little as it reminded him of Luke’s gentle admonishment that Danny wasn’t ‘ready’ to start something with him.

 

They took their time, washing each other and pausing frequently for long, thorough kisses. Danny _loved_ kissing. It felt every bit as intimate as if they’d done anything overtly sexual, perhaps even more. Once they were finally done, Colleen insisted on trimming his beard for him, something which she’d done on occasion before. It, too, felt like something very intimate, standing still and docile while she ran the trimmer over his cheeks, throat, and upper lip.

 

“Better?” he asked after she was done.

 

“Much,” she said with a smile. He glanced over at the empty mirror frame.

 

“I guess I really should get that replaced,” he said with a sigh. “And… and maybe Ward can recommend a contractor or something to get started with planning the dojo renovations. I’m, uh, pretty sure Rand has subsidiaries that do construction.”

 

“That’s a good idea,” she agreed.

 

After they’d returned to the bedroom and gotten dressed, Danny retrieved his phone from the dresser to check for new messages and froze when he saw that there was now a third voicemail from the unknown number, timestamped at 03:38 am. Colleen came over to look, apparently having picked up his sudden shift in mood.

 

“You could just delete them, like Luke said,” she suggested gently. “But I understand why you feel conflicted about it. You don’t have to decide now.” Danny swallowed back the lump in his throat, nodding. He slipped the phone into his pocket without deleting them.

 

“Let’s go see if anyone else is awake,” he said, taking a deep breath as if bracing himself for a challenge.

 

They clasped hands and headed out the bedroom door.

 

TBC


	29. Matt

“Well, that went well,” Jessica said.

 

Matt listened for a moment after Danny and Colleen had disappeared down the hall but it didn’t seem like a crisis was imminent so he turned his attention back to the others in the living room.

 

“That… that pretty much confirmed it, huh?” Luke asked sadly. “His mother really must have been the cause of those bruises.”

 

“It’s hard to think of another reason for him to react like that,” Claire said with a sigh. “Especially with the ‘she didn’t mean to’ comment. Matt, what was your… impression?”

 

“He brought up Heather’s supposed headaches himself without it making him any more uncomfortable than he already was with the conversation to begin with,” Matt said thoughtfully. “Almost like it had been a script he’d been given that he repeated by rote and didn’t question.”

 

“Like it came from Wendell, maybe?” Claire said.

 

“Maybe,” Matt agreed. “But when we pushed for details Danny immediately got defensive and agitated. He… he wasn’t  _ lying _ exactly when he described the headaches as her not feeling well… but it definitely wasn’t the whole truth and he knew it. Something more was definitely going on, something he’s likely in some pretty deep denial about. I think… I think defending Heather is second nature to him and we’ll get blood from a stone sooner than we’ll get any kind of acknowledgement from him that she hurt or abused him in any way.”

 

“He’d hardly be the first kid to defend an abusive parent,” Claire said sadly.

 

“If these so-called headaches really were a cover story for episodes of mental instability like we’re suspecting, she really might not have meant to hurt him,” Luke offered.

 

“Yeah, that’s _ loads _ better. And sure not to have been psychologically scarring at all, just as long as she didn’t  _ mean _ to,” Jessica sneered.

 

“Jess,” Luke said reproachfully, though he didn’t sound angry, just sad.

 

“Sorry, I’m being a bitch. As usual,” Jessica sighed. She ran a hand through her hair tiredly. “It’s just...  _ fuck. _ I’ve watched Trish’s mother try to gaslight her for  _ years _ about how she treated her and I’ve seen Trish start to get reigned in by that idea that  _ ‘it couldn’t have been as bad as I remember’  _ way too many fucking times to ever take something like this lightly. Abuse is abuse. If Heather hurt him then it  _ hurt _ him, you know what I mean? Whether she ‘meant’ to do it or not.”

 

“You’re absolutely right,” Matt agreed solemnly. “There’s no way it wouldn’t have an impact on him psychologically, no matter the circumstances. If it was happening because she was unstable that could have been something for him to focus his denial on, though. Especially if Wendell encouraged him to lie about what really happened with the headache cover story. I mean, between the nurse and the not wanting to leave Danny alone with Heather sometimes and everything else, it’s obvious he was aware  _ something _ was wrong, but he was also clearly trying to keep it quiet.”

 

“Awesome, so we likely have his father to thank for Danny’s complete and total inability to recognize when someone is abusing him,” Jessica said angrily. “Because seriously, is there  _ anyone _ who’s hurt him that he  _ won’t _ turn around and defend? The Meachums, the monks, that bastard Davos, now his freaking mother….”

 

“You might be on the right track there,” Claire said thoughtfully. “We still don’t have all the details, obviously, but if Wendell really did support hiding whatever happened with cover stories or if he made excuses for her behaviour to Danny then that absolutely could have laid the groundwork for Danny’s distorted thinking regarding abusive behaviour.”

 

“And let’s not forget that apparently all he did about it was bring Danny to the office to just run wild every now and then,” Jessica continued. “I mean, what was the fucking threshold for him to decide that it wasn’t  _ safe _ to leave Danny home on any given day? Oh, yesterday there was only a 50/50 chance she’d hurt him, and that was fine, but today it’s 70/30 so I better bring him to work with me? Fuck.”

 

“There was likely some hefty denial going on on his part as well,” Claire said. “Danny said that she’d start not feeling well and that it would gradually get worse over the course of a few days, and then the nurse would come and he’d spend the day at the office. Maybe… maybe Heather hurting him  _ was _ the threshold. Maybe it was something that would build until it reached a breaking point and it was after those incidents that he brought Danny to the office and let Heather ‘cool down’ at home with the nurse, so to speak.”

 

“I don’t get how he could go as far as hiring a private nurse to help her but didn’t do more to prevent her from hurting Danny in the first place,” Luke said.

 

“Well, we still don’t know the exact nature of what was wrong with Heather and what would happen during these apparent episodes,” Matt said. “It’s still all conjecture at this point. I’m actually wondering what role this nurse could have played in the whole thing. I mean, if these were legitimate psychiatric episodes of some kind, was she just drugging Heather through them, was that the ‘rest’ Heather was supposedly getting while Danny was at the office? I think she’s someone else we should see if we can track down to talk to.”

 

“Why do you think the Meachums never mentioned the nurse or the bruises when you and Colleen talked to them?” Luke asked. 

 

“They were still just kids themselves,” Claire said. “And Danny said not many people even knew about the nurse. Which is another thing… if Heather needing care for a psychological problem was being treated as a secretive, shameful thing, then that could have easily planted the seeds for Danny’s shame regarding his own mental health issues. As for the bruises… Joy lived under the same roof as Ward and didn’t know Harold was abusing him. Ward saw Heather turn loving and overprotective towards Danny and probably couldn't see past his own jealousy, what with everything he was going through with his own father. And Danny has said himself that he had no idea back then what Ward was going through with Harold. Don’t underestimate how thoroughly toxic families can hide abuse, even from people close to them.”

 

“Man, seems like both of those families could have served as walking advertisements that money can’t buy happiness,” Luke said, shaking his head.

 

“I still can’t help but wonder if Wendell gave Heather a lot of leeway with Danny because he was just relieved she finally took an interest in him, after how she was when he was younger,” Claire mused. “We never got the chance to ask Danny about that….”

 

“Probably for the best,” Jessica snorted. “He panicked and ran away at the suggestion she hurt him, what do you think he would have done at the suggestion that she didn’t love him?”

 

“Well, I had intended to ask what he remembered about having a nanny when he was younger and go from there,” Claire said drily. “You made a reasonably good effort earlier but your idea of tact still needs work.”

 

“I’ll get right on that,” Jessica drawled, rising to her feet and going to the wet bar to dump the last of the scotch into her mug. “In any case, I say we call it for the day. I’ve been awake since ass o’clock this morning and I’m exhausted.” She leaned back against the wet bar as she drank from her mug, looking thoughtful. “Hey, there’s a second guest bedroom, right? Murdock, why don’t we crash here instead of braving that press gauntlet again?”

 

“Uh, sure,” Matt said, blinking. There was no way she wasn’t aware that she had just basically invited him to share a bed with her, right? He could practically _ feel  _ Claire and Luke exchanging knowing, amused glances and fought back the urge to blush like a teenager.

 

“Well,” Claire said after a moment, clearing her throat. “We may as well have some dinner. It’s a bit late, but we had lunch late, too. I wish I could have tried to get more food into Danny before he went to bed, though it’s not as if he doesn’t need the rest just as badly.”

 

“Colleen’s asleep, and Danny’s nearly there,” Matt confirmed after listening for a moment. 

 

“I’m not actually that hungry,” Jessica declared. “This day has been shit and I just want to turn in.”

 

Matt could sense that she was looking at him, that there was an invitation there she still wasn’t quite ready to voice for all that she’d already asked him to share the guest bedroom. He brushed back the anticipatory tingle that ran down his spine and rose to his feet.

 

“I think I’m going to pass on dinner, too, Claire,” Matt said. “It  _ has _ been a really long day.”

 

He followed Jessica down the hallway, grateful that Claire and Luke had refrained from making any comment, though he could sense that they were both… pleased. The knowledge stoked the fire stirring in his gut.

 

As soon as he closed the bedroom door behind them Jessica had him pushed up against it, her mouth on his in a hungry, scotch-laced kiss. He dropped his folded cane to the floor and ran his hands up her sides, his fingers finding the hem of her shirt and then slipping underneath to touch bare skin. She moaned approvingly and deepened the kiss, her own hands pushing at his suit jacket, though she had to let him step away from the door a little to actually slip it over his shoulders. He reciprocated by raising his hands from her sides to pull at her leather jacket.

 

They finally had to break the kiss so that he could slip her shirt off over her head, and then her fingers were scrambling at his tie and then his shirt buttons. Once they were both shirtless they just stood there for a moment, both of them breathless, blood singing hotly in their veins. 

 

Matt could almost feel her eyes roving over his chest. Over his scars. Self-consciousness flickered through him for a moment but then she was running her fingers lightly over one of them and he couldn’t help but shiver, the scar tissue even more sensitive than the rest of his skin was.

 

“Are… are they ugly?” he found himself asking, an embarrassed flush rising in his cheeks at how vulnerable and exposed he suddenly felt.

 

“No,” she said, and there was no trace of a lie in her voice. “They’re a part of you, and you’re… you’re beautiful.”

 

Matt flushed even more. Plenty of people had told him he was handsome, but he didn’t think he’d ever been called beautiful before. He supposed most men would probably balk at the feminine term, but he found that he didn’t care. He sensed some measure of embarrassment from her, though, as if she’d revealed more of herself than she’d meant to. 

 

“You’re beautiful, too,” he said softly. She snorted a little, though he could feel an almost reluctant happiness thrumming through her at the compliment. She reached up and gently removed his glasses as she had done that morning, setting them aside on the dresser.

 

“How do you even know what I look like?” she quipped.

 

“Foggy used to gripe about how I somehow always knew when someone was beautiful,” Matt said with a smile. “And it’s true that my spatial awareness does give me a better idea of the shape of someone’s face than most blind people would have. But touch is still the best way for me to really ‘see’ it.”

 

Jessica was quiet for a moment and then she took hold of his hands and brought them up to her face.

 

“So touch me,” she said quietly.

 

Matt’s heart stuttered in his chest. He knew the gravity of the gesture, how much trust she was showing him by making herself vulnerable in that way. He knew that sex itself wasn’t necessarily an intimate thing for her, that she could detach herself from thinking of it as anything other than a physical act to let off steam. It wasn’t particularly healthy, of course, and had likely developed as part of her defensive shield against the world after what had happened to her.

 

Inviting someone to touch her like  _ this, _ though, was something else altogether. It was intimacy. It was  _ vulnerability. _

 

He took his time as he let his fingers gently trace over her face, feeling every curve and dip, filling in the details of the image he already had of her in his mind. She’d been a little tense at first but she quickly melted into it, her hands returning to caress his bare sides, pulling him closer.

 

“What… what colour are your eyes?” he asked softly as he traced the curve of her eyebrow.

 

“Kind of a mossy green,” she replied, sounding rather breathless.

 

“And your hair?” he asked.

 

“Black,” she said, and then her mouth was on his again, her hands dropping to work at his belt and undo his pants. He kissed her back enthusiastically, his own hands moving to undo her jeans. In short order they were both naked and suddenly Matt found himself being spun around and pushed towards the bed, where he fell back against the mattress with a soft ‘oomph’. 

 

Before he’d even had a chance to re-orient himself, Jessica was climbing on top of him, straddling his thighs and taking his leaking dick in her hand with a firm, confident grip. Matt gasped at the sensation, his hands rising to caress her hips. She started to jack him slowly, her thumb brushing over his slit to collect precum to ease the way.

 

Matt’s spine arched as electricity seemed to spike through every nerve. If she kept that up much longer things were going to be over embarrassingly fast. 

 

“I wonder just how considerate our hosts are,” Jessica mused, releasing her grip on his dick to lean up over him and root around in the night table drawer. “Score,” she said, and he could almost feel her smirking. He heard the distinctive crinkling of a condom wrapper and then a moment later she was rolling it on him with a sure, practiced hand. Then she was shifting further up and the next thing he knew he was being enveloped in tight, wet heat as she started to slide herself onto him.

 

“Fuck,” he gasped, arching a little again and gripping her waist to help guide her. Once he was fully sheathed inside her she gave a little experimental roll of her hips and he moaned. She felt  _ amazing. _

 

“Damn, I’m going to have to remember to take this nice and slow,” she breathed, rocking her hips again. “It’d probably be rude to break the bed.”

 

“That’s… that’s happened... before?” Matt gasped out, rolling his own hips up to meet her thrusts, his hands moving up her sides to cup her breasts. She moaned appreciatively as his thumbs brushed over her nipples, the rocking of her hips picking up a bit more speed.

 

“Luke and I... may have broken his bed,” she said breathlessly, and he chuckled a little.

 

“Well… I’m not as solid as Luke is… you’d probably break  _ me _ before you broke the bed,” he said, his heart skipping a beat as he realized the truth of it. It wasn't fear, though. It was… a rather  _ exciting _ thought, actually, the fact that she could snap him like a twig if she wanted to.

 

He couldn’t deny that he’d always had a thing for strong women. 

 

“Oh, you like that, don’t you?” Jessica said, a wicked smile in her voice. Matt was sure he would have blushed again if he wasn’t already flushed with arousal and exertion, but he didn’t deny it. She suddenly grabbed hold of his wrists and leaned forward enough to slam them down against the mattress on either side of his head, the grip loose enough not to bruise but absolutely unyielding. Then she started practically  _ grinding _ her hips down against him as she picked up speed, fucking him ruthlessly.

 

“Holy _ shit,” _ Matt cried, his brain nearly whiting out at the intense sensation.  _ So much for nice and slow,  _ he thought distantly, though he certainly had no complaints. He tried to arch up against her to meet her thrusts but it was like pushing against a steel wall. He was completely at her mercy and the thought was like electric fire in his blood.

 

Her mouth crashed against his in another desperate kiss and he only lasted a few minutes more before he was coming harder than he had in a long, long time, his mind blanking out with white lightning. He heard her cry out softly as she came too, her back arching as she shuddered through a few more languid thrusts of her hips before she collapsed on top of him, releasing the hold she’d had on his wrists. He brought his arms up to wrap around her as they both panted breathlessly.

 

Matt wasn’t sure how long they lay like that, catching their breath, but eventually Jessica sat up enough to slip his softened cock out of her and remove the condom, tossing it into the wastebasket next to the night table. He briefly thought about getting cleaned up but his brain still felt blanked out and it seemed like far more effort than it would be worth just then. Jessica seemed to agree, as after she dealt with the condom she flopped over onto her side next to him. He shifted one arm to wrap around her shoulders and she obligingly lay with her head on his shoulder, one hand idly tracing over his chest.

 

Matt kind of wanted to say something, but words like  _ ‘That was amazing’ _ seemed not only trite but also incredibly inadequate for what had just happened.

 

_ I love you, _ he thought as he ran his fingers through her hair. Those were the words he  _ really _ wanted to say. But he didn’t think she was ready to hear them.

 

And he had a feeling she already knew, anyway.

 

~~~

 

Matt woke to the smell of eggs and bacon. He started to roll over only to find one arm pinned down by Jessica’s weight. She shifted at the disturbance and started to wake as well.

 

“Fuck, is that breakfast I smell?” she said blearily. “I’m fucking starving.”

 

“Well, we did skip dinner,” Matt said with a smile. He couldn’t even remember the last time he’d woken up next to someone. He felt strangely light and warm, right down to his bones.  _ I feel  _ **_happy_ ** _ ,  _ he noted with some surprise. It wasn’t a very familiar feeling.

 

“Regretting that, are you?” Jessica asked, and though her tone was joking he could sense an underlying thread of nervousness.

 

“Absolutely not,” he said seriously, leaning over to kiss her. She kissed him back and it became more and more involved until it was starting to look like breakfast was going to have to wait but then suddenly Matt’s stomach growled. Loudly. 

 

They both froze for a moment before dissolving into giggles like a couple of teenagers.

 

“Okay, breakfast it is,” Jessica said, rolling out of bed and fishing around on the floor where they’d abandoned their clothes. Matt imagined his suit was likely terribly wrinkled. “I bet it’s Claire and Luke. How are they the first ones up when they were the last to go to bed? They’re such  _ parents.” _

 

“It’s Claire and Luke,” Matt confirmed as he got dressed, leaving his tie and suit jacket for the time being. “Danny and Colleen are up, too, though. They’re in the shower.” 

 

“Together?” Jessica said, and he could sense the wicked grin on her face. “I think I’d like to see that.”

 

“Jess,” he said in admonishment, though there was no heat in it. He’d turned his attention away when he’d realized they were kissing in order to respect their privacy, but he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t been… intrigued.

 

“Well, Danny must be feeling at least somewhat better if he’s up to some shower shenanigans,” Jessica said, sounding pleased. “That’s definitely a good thing.”

 

“Definitely,” Matt agreed. In unspoken agreement they reached out to clasp hands before exiting the bedroom and heading out to the kitchen to join Claire and Luke.

 

“Good morning, guys,” Claire greeted them brightly. Jessica grumbled a greeting, releasing Matt’s hand to head straight for the coffee pot. Claire approached Matt, putting a hand on his arm. “You look happy,” she said softly.

 

“I feel pretty happy,” he replied, smiling. He could sense her grinning in response.

 

“Well, I’m happy  _ for _ you. Both of you,” she said warmly.

 

“We’d thought we’d eat like civilized people and actually use the dining table,” Luke said as he transferred a frying pan full of bacon onto a waiting platter. “Kind of have it as a serve yourself, buffet-style thing.”

 

“Sounds good,” Matt said. “Need any help?”

 

“I think we have most everything covered. We heard the shower going in the master bathroom earlier so we’re hoping Danny and Colleen will be out soon,” Claire said.

 

“And here we are,” Colleen said as she and Danny emerged from the hallway. Danny seemed a little nervous and tense but not particularly agitated. Matt guessed that he likely felt embarrassed after his quick exit the evening before.

 

“Hey, good timing guys, everything’s just about ready,” Claire said. “Why don’t you all have a seat and Luke and I will finish bringing everything to the table?”

 

Matt couldn’t help but be impressed by the spread that Claire and Luke had prepared. The table was already set with plates, cutlery, and glasses, and there were large platters of scrambled eggs, toast, and sausage laid out in the center. He couldn’t help but smile a little remembering Jessica’s earlier comment calling them parents. They certainly seemed to have embraced the role of caretakers in the group, though that was hardly surprising in Claire’s case in particular. 

 

“This is amazing, guys. Thank you,” Matt said. 

 

“No worries, it was our pleasure,” Claire said, bringing over a jug of orange juice and the coffee pot, which Jessica immediately reached for to top off her mug. “Looking sharp, there, Danny. You were starting to look a little scruffy.”

 

“Thanks, Claire,” Danny said, running a hand over his face ruefully. Matt surmised that he must have trimmed his beard.

 

“Are you going to cut your hair shorter again?” Claire asked. “Not that it’s gotten very long yet or anything.”

 

“I hope not,” Luke said as he brought the platter of bacon over and set it down on the table. “I like the curls.” And then he ran his hand through Danny’s still damp hair, ruffling it affectionately.

 

Matt heard Danny’s heart stutter and his pulse quicken and had no doubt that he was both flushing red and practically  _ glowing _ with happiness at the gesture.

 

“That’s what I said,” Colleen remarked, amused.

 

“Well that decides it, then, right?” Luke said, taking a seat.

 

“R-right,” Danny said, sounding a little dazed. Matt smiled, thinking of Jessica's comment the other day that Danny had ‘adorable puppy love’ for both him and Luke. It was certainly true when it came to Luke, at least.

 

“Well, dig in, everybody,” Claire said, and they all started to help themselves to the food.

 

Matt knew Claire would push Danny to eat if she didn’t think he was having enough and he had little doubt that Danny knew it, too. He sensed him dutifully pile modest helpings of each of the foods on his plate. But he was also fidgeting a little like he was anxious and wanting to say something but was nervous to start. Finally he seemed to brace himself, clearing his throat before starting to speak.

 

“Um, I… I wanted to apologize,” Danny began. “For running out on you guys like that last night.”

 

“You don’t have to apologize, man,” Luke said as he piled food onto his own plate. “We know all of this has been really hard on you.”

 

“We just hope you managed to get some decent sleep at least,” Claire added.

 

“Yeah,” Danny confirmed, fidgeting with his fork. “I think this is the most rested I’ve felt in days.” He fidgeted some more, pushing the food around on his plate. Matt could feel that he was still nervous about something.

 

“Danny?” he prompted gently. “Was there something else?”

 

“Yeah,” Danny said with a sigh. He swallowed audibly before continuing. “I… I think I know what you guys are thinking, asking those questions last night, but… but you’re wrong. My mom… my mom didn’t  _ abuse _ me, okay? She was a good person and she loved me.”

 

Silence dropped over the table. Colleen reached out and took Danny’s hand.

 

“Danny-” Claire started but Danny interrupted her.

 

“No, look, Colleen and I talked about it earlier and… and I think I understand where you guys were coming from about… about K’un Lun,” he said anxiously. “But it’s  _ different. _ They… they were  _ accidents.” _

 

“Accidents,” Jessica repeated flatly.

 

“ _ Yes,” _ Danny said insistently. He paused, taking a deep breath. The subject was clearly upsetting him but he was also clearly putting a great deal of effort into staying as calm as possible. “She… she would just get… worked up about stuff. When she… when she wasn’t feeling well. And just like… grab me a little too hard sometimes. But she didn’t mean to! She was always sorry and she never… never  _ really _ hurt me.”

 

Matt could practically feel the tension thrumming through Danny’s body. He was trying to stay calm but it seemed to be a losing battle. He sensed that Jessica was about to say something and reached over to take her hand, giving her a little shake of his head. She clamped her mouth shut again, understanding the message. They were treading fragile ground, and her particular brand of forthrightness wouldn’t be the best approach.

 

“Okay,” Claire said carefully. Matt guessed that she realized just how fragile the ground they were treading was, too. “When you say it happened when she wasn’t feeling well… could you tell us a bit more about that?”

 

Danny sucked in a sharp breath, tensing even more.

 

“He’s not ready to talk about that yet,” Colleen interjected. 

 

“Okay,” Claire agreed easily, not wanting to push.

 

“I’m sorry,” Danny said miserably. “I… I can’t explain it. I just… can’t.”

 

“It’s okay, Danny,” Luke said. “Whenever you’re ready.”

 

“It’s just… frustrating,” Danny said, shifting irritably. “I… I want to be stronger. I don’t want to keep… falling apart. But… I can’t talk about that, and I’m not even sure why.”

 

“It could be your mind telling you it’s something you’re not ready to deal with yet, Danny,” Claire said gently. “And Danny, you  _ are _ strong.”

 

“I feel like I’ve been a burden,” Danny said. “Colleen says I haven’t been, but… you’ve all dropped your normal lives to come babysit me and deal with this whole mess with… with Davos. I’m… I’m really grateful, but I want to help more, too. I know you’ve all… all been walking on eggshells around me and I don’t blame you. I’ve… I’ve been a  _ mess.  _ But I’m going to try to be better, I promise.”

 

“We’re here because we care about you, man,” Luke said. “Helping you could never be a burden.”

 

“You’re one of us,” Jessica said, sounding a little uncomfortable but absolutely sincere. “And you’re a mess because you’re dealing with some terrible fucking trauma. Anyone who would judge you for that is an even bigger asshole than I am.”

 

“T-thanks,” Danny said, undoubtedly stunned to hear such a declaration from Jessica. Matt’s heart swelled a little and he squeezed her hand. He knew such emotional honesty was extremely difficult for her, but hearing the words from Jessica specifically - someone who he knew wouldn’t just speak platitudes to make him feel better - would mean a lot to Danny.

 

Matt heard the buzz of a phone and Danny fished his out of his pocket. He tensed when he looked at the screen.

 

“It’s not him again, is it?” Colleen asked, her voice heavy with dismay.

 

“Yeah,” Danny said, still staring at the phone.

 

“You mean Davos? How many times has he called?” Claire asked, alarmed.

 

“There’s a third voicemail, from the middle of the night,” Colleen said. “We haven’t listened to any of them.”

 

“I still say you should just delete them,” Luke groused. “And change your number.”

 

“He’d probably just get the new one right away, anyway,” Danny said dully. The phone had stopped buzzing, but he was still staring at it. “What… what if he says something useful? He might give us a clue as to where he and Gao are, or what they might do next….”

 

“Listening to him will just upset you,” Luke said.

 

“You… you could just let us listen to them,” Jessica suggested. 

 

“No, I… I want to hear what he has to say,” Danny said more firmly. “But… we can listen to them together. I… I won’t get upset.”

 

He put the phone down on the table, put it on speakerphone, and dialled into his voicemail.

 

TBC


	30. Danny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, thirty chapters! I can't believe it. ^^
> 
> In celebration of this milestone I'm going to do my best to get over my shyness and start replying to comments again. ^^ I was seriously so overwhelmed by the lovely responses I got to the last chapter. You guys are awesome! <3 Real life has been a stressful mess for awhile now and writing this fic has been one of the few things keeping me going, so it means a lot to me that other people are enjoying it, too.

Danny stared down at the phone on the table, trepidation stirring in his gut as he navigated through the voicemail menu. Listening to the messages had been an impulsive decision prompted by the latest call, but… was he really ready to hear Davos’ voice, his _real_ voice, again so soon?

 

He… he hadn’t really been sure _what_ he was going to do with the messages, but what he’d said to the others was true. It didn’t seem smart to just delete them, not when Davos might give them more information to go on in their investigations. He could also see the logic in Jessica’s suggestion, that he just let the others listen to them without him, but it seemed… cowardly.

 

_He_ was the one Davos was after, the one Davos was targeting. The thought made his skin crawl and his stomach twist, but it was the truth. The whole mess was his fault and the least he could do was take responsibility and face it head on whenever he could.

 

And… and there was just no denying that he _wanted_ to hear what Davos had to say. For all that the previous day’s… _events_ had made him start to realize some very harsh truths about him, it didn’t change the fact that Davos had been the closest person to him for fifteen years. He… he couldn’t just turn his back on him. He _couldn’t._

 

He knew he was taking a gamble, considering he had no idea what kind of vitriol Davos might spew at him and what effect it might have on him. But hopefully having all the others there to listen with him instead of doing it alone would help keep him… focused.

 

The first voicemail started to play, Davos’ voice heavy with anger. It would have been from when he’d first called back right after Luke had grabbed the phone and hung up on him, Danny remembered.

 

_“Do you think that if you hide from the truth, you’ll never have to face it, Danny? It would be in your best interest not to ignore me.”_

 

Danny hit the button to delete it, swallowing back the sudden lump in his throat. He… he didn’t want to think about how much hearing Davos’ voice affected him, or how it called to mind the memory of weight pressed up so intimately behind him, of hands tugging at this jeans. He forcefully pushed such thoughts away with a barely concealed shudder.

 

The second message started to play, Davos’ tone having grown sharper. He’d called again a second time right away, when Luke had still had the phone, and Davos would have assumed it was Danny himself who was choosing not to answer.

 

_“So this is what the Immortal Iron Fist of K’un Lun has come to? Hiding from the truth like a sniveling coward? Pathetic. Your new companions bring shame to you, if this is what you’ve been reduced to. I will tell you_ **_everything_** _, Danny. Everything that Gao told me. The truth about the Elders. And the truth about your mother, too. All you have to do is be willing to listen.”_ There was a pause, though the sound of Davos’ breathing could still be heard. Danny stared at the phone, feeling like every nerve in his body was strung as tight as a bowstring, his heart hammering in his chest. When Davos started speaking again, his voice had turned sympathetic and cloying, sending a chill down Danny’s spine. _“Who else can you trust to tell you the truth, brother? I won’t ever lie to you, not like the Elders, not like your companions. They pollute your mind with lies about me, but you know I’m the only one who’s ever been there for you, don’t you? Deep down, you_ **_know_ ** _it’s true. It’s only a matter of time until you’re back where you belong, with_ **_me_** _. It’s your destiny. It’s_ **_our_ ** _destiny.”_

 

Danny swiftly hit the button to delete that message as well, feeling shaken to his core.

 

“Jesus,” Jessica said. “Could he sound any creepier?”

 

“Danny?” Colleen asked, putting a hand on his arm.

 

“I-I’m okay,” he said distantly. All this talk of destiny… he couldn’t seem to escape it. Davos kept bringing it up and it had been the underlying thread through his dreams the previous night. And his mother had… had….

 

_No._

 

Pushing that thought away with a frown he hit the button to play the third message, the one that had come hours after the first two, in the middle of the night. It was the last one, since Davos hadn’t left a message after his most recent call.

 

_“Danny… do you remember what you told me, not long after I first found you in New York?”_ Davos’ voice was different again, not cloying, exactly, but… soft. Sincere. It made Danny’s breath catch in his throat and his heart clench in his chest. Colleen seemed to sense his distress, her grip tightening on his arm. _“You told me that ever since the plane crash, you had always felt empty, and that you had thought that becoming the Iron Fist would fix you, but it didn’t. That’s because you’ll_ **_always_ ** _feel lost and empty as long as you deny your destiny, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Aren’t you_ **_tired_ ** _of it all, Danny? Don’t you wish there was a better way? Once you take your rightful place at my side you will see. Gao showed me the truth and I can show you, too. You belong with us. You belong with_ **_me_** _. Are we not brothers in spirit if not in flesh? Is it such a terrible fate, to be mine? Don’t you remember how I was always there for you? I_ **_take care_ ** _of what’s mine, Danny. Call me when you’re ready. You know you need to hear what I have to say. 212-555-2945.”_

 

Danny hit the button to save the message and stood up from the table, taking a few steps away. His mind was whirling and he… he needed _space._

 

“Danny…,” Colleen started to say, sounding sad.

 

“I’m okay,” he said quickly. “I’m… I’m not freaking out, I promise. I just… I just need a minute.” He took another few steps towards the window, running his hands through his hair, trying to bring some sense to his confused and conflicting feelings.

 

He’d been expecting the anger in the first two messages, but not the… the _genuineness_ of the third. Davos had sounded… had sounded almost like he had back in K’un Lun. He hadn’t _always_ been angry and irritable, after all. Hadn’t _always_ been doing things that made Danny uncomfortable. Maybe Davos’ motivations hadn’t always been the purest but he _had_ been Danny’s friend, his _brother._ Hadn’t he? The… the _bad_ didn’t erase all of that, did it?

 

Yesterday he’d felt so much pain and confusion as it had started to sink in, how Davos had manipulated him all those years. He’d started to wonder if he’d ever really known Davos at all. But… people weren’t black and white. It wasn’t impossible that there was still… still some _good_ in Davos, even if he’d… he’d done terrible things, even if he wasn’t exactly who Danny had thought he was….

 

“Fuck, Danny, I can practically _feel_ you getting reeled in by that jackass,” Jessica said, a thread of anger in her voice. “Have you already forgotten that he almost fucking killed you yesterday? Or what _else_ he tried to do to you?”

 

Danny flinched, wrapping his arms around himself. No, he most definitely hadn’t forgotten _that._

 

“Jessica,” Claire said sharply.

 

“Sorry,” Jessica said, and she did indeed sound abashed. “I know I shouldn’t be so harsh about it, but… fuck.”

 

“Why don’t you come back to the table and eat some breakfast before it gets cold, Danny?” Claire suggested.

 

Danny obeyed wordlessly, not quite able to meet anyone’s eyes as he returned to sit back down at the table. The relatively light-hearted atmosphere of such a short time ago had vanished, everyone picking at their food in a heavy, awkward silence. Danny half-heartedly pushed the food around his own plate, forcing himself to take a few bites, though any hint of an appetite he’d had was long gone.

 

After all the events and revelations and uncomfortable conversations of the past few days he wouldn’t have thought he could still end up feeling so… so _raw_ in front of the others. But something in Davos’ last message had really rattled him, had made him feel stripped down to his core.

 

Had made him feel… _ashamed._

 

Because Jessica was _right._ He _shouldn’t_ care about Davos anymore. Not… not after what he’d tried to do. Not with how he’d knowingly manipulated and taken advantage of him for years.

 

But… but he _did_ still care about him. All of his mind’s efforts to rationalize Davos’ behaviour proved that.

 

There… there must be something _really_ wrong with him.

 

_“You’re just realizing that now, brother?”_ Davos’ voice said, amused. Danny flinched.

 

“How are you doing, Danny?” Colleen asked, reaching over to rub his arm again. “You’ve been quiet for awhile and I know listening to that couldn’t have been easy. Especially… especially that last one.”

 

“I… I don’t know,” Danny said honestly. He looked at his phone sitting so innocuously on the table, thinking about the number that Davos had given in the last voicemail, the one he’d saved.

 

“You’re… you’re not thinking about calling him, are you?” Luke asked in dismay, almost as if he could read Danny’s mind.

 

“Would… would it really be such a terrible idea?” Danny asked, flushing a little with embarrassment. He was pretty sure he knew how they would react, but… he couldn’t help the way he felt.

 

“ _Absolutely_ it’s a terrible fucking idea,” Jessica bit out.

 

“Maybe we should listen to his reasoning before contributing our opinions?” Matt suggested reasonably. Jessica grumbled a little but offered no further protest.

 

“I… I want to know how Gao convinced him to join the Hand,” Danny began hesitantly. “He didn’t give any details about that in the messages, but… he said he would tell me, if I talked to him. And he… he still didn’t give us any clues as to what he and Gao will do next. Maybe if I could get him talking, he might let something important slip.”

 

“Those are some good points, Danny,” Claire said. “But… it was hard for you to listen to the messages, wasn’t it? How much harder do you think it’ll be to actually talk to him?”

 

Danny looked away, scowling. It was true the thought made him… nervous. But how could he make any progress with being stronger if he didn’t push himself?

 

“I can handle it,” he said. “It just… took me off guard yesterday.”

 

“Danny, you can’t _trust_ anything he says,” Luke said. “All he’ll do is spew lies and poison at you, not anything useful. Why put yourself through that?”

 

“You… you don’t know that for sure,” Danny said. He struggled to keep his temper in check. He knew they were just worried for him, and he couldn’t deny that they had reason to be… but it still felt like being treated like a child. “You guys are the ones who said he might be telling the truth about… about my mom. So why are you assuming now that all he’d tell me is lies?”

 

“And why are _you_ assuming you might get useful information from him when you’re so convinced he’s lying about _that?”_ Jessica shot back.

 

“I’m not saying we can trust everything he says, just that it’s not _all_ necessarily lies,” Danny said. He put his fork down to run his hands through his hair in frustration. He didn’t think he’d be able to eat anymore, anyway, his stomach churning with unease.

 

“And all we’re saying is that we should weigh the risks versus the possible rewards,” Claire said gently. “Yes, it is possible that he could tell us something we can use. But we haven’t exhausted our other avenues yet, and there’s no guarantee that he _would_ give us anything. And… and when things are already so difficult for you right now… he really could just end up upsetting you even more, and we could very well end up with nothing to show for it.”

 

Danny sighed, rubbing his hands over his face. He could see the logic in what they were saying, he really could. He knew that there was every possibility that if he called Davos he’d just end up with the manic, deranged version of him who would only make him more… distressed. But he couldn’t get that last voicemail out of his mind, the one where Davos had mostly sounded like his _brother_ again, for all that he’d still spoken about… about _ownership._ A shiver ran down his spine at the memory, and he pushed it away.

 

He… he probably really _was_ wrong for feeling the way he did. But something inside him wouldn’t let him let it go.

 

“In… in that last voicemail, he sounded different,” Danny said slowly. “More… level-headed. Almost like… when we were back in K’un Lun.” He paused, taking a deep breath to try to calm his nerves. The last thing he needed was to get worked up and basically prove to them that he wouldn’t be able to handle it. “I know you guys have this… this idea of him and how he is in your minds. You have every reason to. I’m not… I’m not going to defend anything he’s done. But… none of you _know_ him. Not like I do. He _can_ be... different. If I can talk to him, find out what Gao’s been telling him, maybe… maybe I can….”

 

“What? Reason with him?” Jessica asked incredulously.

 

“Why not?” Danny asked.

 

“Because he’s a fucking _psychotic villain_ who wants to _kidnap_ and _rape_ you, that’s why!” Jessica yelled, slamming her fist down on the table hard enough to make it crack, rattling all the dishes and making a couple of glasses fall over, spilling juice everywhere.

 

Stunned silence reigned for a moment.

 

Danny felt the blood drain from his face, feeling ill right down to his bones. Because there it was again. She was _right._ Davos had… had done terrible things. Had hurt him and threatened him and wanted to… to _own_ him. He should _hate_ him.

 

But he couldn’t.

 

“Fuck, I’m… I’m sorry,” Jessica finally said, running a hand over her face. “I… I shouldn’t have lost my temper like that.” Matt reached out to rub her shoulder and she shot him a grateful look.

 

“No, you’re… you’re right,” Danny said, looking away. “I can’t explain why I feel the way I do. I know what he’s done, and what he wants to do, but….”

 

“But he’s your brother and you love him,” Matt said quietly.

 

Danny looked at him, surprised, before slowly nodding.

 

“I know it’s not even close to the same thing, but… but I loved Stick like a father,” Matt said, sounding uncomfortable. “Knowing he’d been trying to train me to become a merciless killer, all the pain and abuse I went through in that training… none of that changes the fact that I was a desperately lonely child who’d just lost his father and sometimes he was kind to me. And whatever else he might have done, Davos was there for you when you had no one else, right?”

 

“R-right,” Danny said, stunned. He hadn’t expected anyone to understand, especially since he didn’t understand it himself. But Matt’s words made sense. And his heart ached for him. “I’m sorry you went through that, Matt.”

 

Matt nodded an acknowledgement before turning his attention towards Jessica, reaching down to squeeze her hand.

 

“Being… being hurt by someone you love, it’s different from being hurt by a stranger,” he said. “I’m certainly not saying it’s _worse_ or anything ridiculous like that, but… it’s different. And it carries its own kind of baggage. You can’t always just… turn your feelings for that person off, no matter how badly you might want to.”

 

“I know,” Jessica said with a sigh, running a hand through her hair. She looked at Danny. “I shouldn’t have like, projected my shit onto you. Despite some similarities our… our situations are pretty different. And I know perfectly well from Trish how hard it can be for someone to cut ties with an abuser who’s… who’s close to them. But that’s part of why I’m… I’m _upset,_ okay? Your feelings for him make you… make you _vulnerable_ to him. And I… I don’t want to see you get hurt again.”

 

Danny blinked at her, overwhelmed by her uncharacteristic display of concern.

 

“It’s okay,” he said. “I understand. And I'm really sorry about what you went through, too." He paused, sighing. "I… I can’t help but feel like there’s something wrong with me for… for not hating him. But he really was the only one there for me for a long time. I just can’t believe that it was _all_ lies, that all he _ever_ wanted to do was take advantage of me.”

 

“You’re right, we don’t know him like you do,” Claire said with a sigh. “Colleen and I are the only ones who’ve had any significant interaction with him and even that was nothing compared to fifteen years together. If you want to try to get some information from him I guess it’s not really fair of us to dismiss the idea out of hand, even if it’s coming from a place of concern. But… I agree with Jessica that your feelings for him make you vulnerable, in ways you probably don’t even realize yourself. And… and I kind of hate to say this but you have to at least consider the possibility that he really never felt the same way about you, that he’s only ever seen you as a tool to be used. It’s what he very strongly implied that day he visited the dojo.”

 

“He… he told me he said those things just to bait you,” Danny said hesitantly. His heart sank as the others exchanged dismayed looks. “Couldn’t… couldn’t _both_ things be true? Couldn’t he have started off just wanting to manipulate and use me… but he still came to care about me, in his own way?”

 

“Jesus, that’s not any way you want to be cared about,” Jessica muttered, rubbing her eyes.

 

“He wouldn’t still… still _want_ me if he didn’t care about me at least a little,” Danny said uncomfortably.

 

“Obsession isn’t the same thing as love,” Claire said gently.

 

Danny frowned, looking away.

 

“I have a suggestion,” Matt said. “Like Claire mentioned before, we still have some other avenues to explore. The woman Heather left money to in her will, trying to track down the nurse, looking into those arts committees to see if there’s a connection to Gao… plenty to keep us busy for today. Then tonight, after you’ve given it more thought and if you’re still certain you want to do it, we can try calling Davos and seeing what he might say. You never know, we might end up learning something today that could give you more of an idea of what sort of information to fish for if you speak to him.”

 

“That sound like a reasonable plan,” Colleen said. “What do you think, Danny?”

 

“I guess,” he agreed reluctantly. He supposed he should be glad that they weren’t just refusing outright.

 

_“You don’t need their permission. Or are they really your keepers?”_ Davos sneered, appearing behind Luke and Claire.

 

Which was… true, wasn’t it? If he wanted to call the number Davos had given him, he could do it whether they wanted him to or not. He didn’t need their permission and they wouldn’t physically try to stop him… he didn’t think.

 

Would they?

 

He shook his head a little, trying to stop that line of thinking before it got any further. It had been thoughts like that that had led him to sneak out and go to the Lotte, which had been a total disaster. Matt’s compromise had been perfectly reasonable. He should wait.

 

_“You know you need to hear what I have to say, Danny. I’m the only one who will tell you the truth. If your keepers don’t want you to talk to me, it’s because they don’t trust you,”_ Davos said.

 

No, no that wasn’t true. They were being… overprotective, maybe, but it was just because they cared about him.

 

_“They think you are a child. They pity you. They think you’re sad and pathetic for not hating me. They’re telling you pretty lies about how_ **_complicated_ ** _it all is, but deep down they’re disgusted that you still care for me,”_ Davos said.

 

No, that couldn’t be true, either. It _wasn’t._ He… he did feel… _ashamed_ about it, but they hadn’t… hadn’t said anything like that….

 

Static. Static was everywhere.

 

_“I’m the only one you can count on, Danny. The only one who’ll always be there for you. It’s your destiny,”_ Davos hissed.

 

_“Danny!”_ Colleen yelled, shaking his arm.

 

Danny blinked at her dazedly.

 

“I’m… I’m okay,” he said, giving his head another little shake to try to clear the sudden fogginess. When he looked back at where he’d been standing Davos’ apparition was gone.

 

“You’re not okay, you just totally blanked out again,” Colleen said frantically.

 

“This happened before?” Claire asked, frowning with concern.

 

“Yeah, earlier this morning, when we were talking about Heather,” Colleen replied, still looking at Danny with wide, worried eyes. His heart clenched in his chest.

 

“I’m sorry, I… I was just… just….” His voice trailed off as he looked back at where Davos had been again. He’d just been listening to a hallucination give voice to his worst fears, that was all. But that shouldn’t have… have made him ‘blank out’. He’d always been able to still hear and see the things around him when he was hallucinating.

 

Except… except for yesterday with Luke, when he hadn’t been able to recognize him or his surroundings, lost in a vivid hallucination of a memory from K’un Lun.

 

The thought chilled him to the bone and filled his mind with dread.

 

_“You can bluster all you want about wanting to be ‘stronger’, but you’re still getting worse,”_ Kei Lung’s voice said, heavy with derision.

 

“I’m… I’m sorry,” he said again, his voice shaking. He clenched his fists, his palms feeling cold and clammy.

 

“Well, let’s not panic,” Claire said, though he could hear the worry in her voice. “A lot of shit is getting stirred up here, it’s not a stretch to think that your mind is struggling to process it all. And you snapped out of it pretty quickly.”

 

“How do you feel now?” Colleen asked.

 

“Not… not the greatest,” Danny said honestly. “But I’ll be okay.” He _needed_ to be okay. Nobody questioned his statement, but he could see varying degrees of incredulity on their faces. He looked away. They were just _worried,_ he told himself. It didn’t… it didn’t mean they were judging him.

 

“Well, it looks like everyone’s done eating,” Luke said with a sigh. “We should get this all cleaned up and then figure out the plan for the day.”

 

“I’ll get the mess from the knocked over glasses,” Jessica said rising to her feet to go retrieve a dishcloth from the kitchen. “Sorry about your table, Danny,” she added, eyeing the sizable crack in the wood as she wiped up the spilled juice.

 

“It’s not important,” Danny said as he started to gather up his dishes. Claire frowned at his half-full plate.

 

“Are you sure you can’t eat more than that?” she asked.

 

“Sorry,” Danny said. It felt like he was apologizing a lot lately. He hated to disappoint her again but he already felt vaguely ill, the food he had managed to eat sitting like a rock in his stomach.

 

“What if I made you a protein shake?” Luke suggested. “It might go down easier than trying to force yourself to eat when you have no appetite.”

 

“Sure, it’s worth a try. Thanks, Luke,” Danny said, mustering a small smile for him. Luke responded with a grin that sent a warm rush through Danny’s chest.

 

While Luke worked on assembling the shake with peanut butter, cocoa, and a few other ingredients Danny helped Claire bring all the dishes back to the kitchen and begin washing and drying them. Colleen offered to iron the wrinkles out of Matt’s suit and he agreed with an embarrassed smile. He and Jessica decided to shower while Colleen looked after his suit and the three of them disappeared down the hall.

 

As he dried the dishes Claire handed him and put them away on auto-pilot, Danny found his mind continuously circling back around to Davos and the saved voicemail with his phone number, no matter how much he tried to push the thought away.

 

_“You don’t need their permission,”_ Davos’ voice kept saying.

 

The frontmost thing that kept coming back was the claim that Davos had made about his mother. That… that she had been Hand. His immediate instinct was still vehement and absolute denial, but… but there was that… that _itching_ in the back of his mind that he just couldn’t approach.

 

And… and then there was all her talk about destiny….

 

Danny took a deep, even breath, pushing back the static threatening to overwhelm him.

 

He was so distracted that he started a little with surprise when Luke put a hand on his shoulder.

 

“Here, it’s ready,” Luke said, holding out a glass. “I’ll take over drying, you just try to drink as much of this as you can. Don’t make yourself sick trying to force it, though.”

 

“Thanks, Luke,” Danny said, exchanging the dishtowel for the glass. He took an experimental sip. “It’s really good,” he said with a smile. Luke beamed at him and Danny felt that warm rush again.

 

It felt… nice, leaning against the kitchen counter, slowly drinking the shake Luke had made for him while he and Claire finished up the dishes. Cozy. Knowing the others were nearby, Colleen helping Matt out with his suit while he and Jessica were likely being… _friendly_ in the shower. It made the warm feeling in his chest tingle.

 

_This is what family should feel like,_ he thought.

 

_“Too bad you’re always ruining it with your craziness,”_ Davos hissed, appearing in front of him.

 

Danny flinched so badly he almost dropped the glass. Thankfully Luke and Claire had their backs to him so they didn’t notice.

 

_“You need to know the truth,”_ Davos said, staring at him intensely. _“Especially the truth about your mother. You know it can’t wait.”_

 

Danny stared at him, his heart hammering in his chest.

 

_“You don’t need their permission,”_ Davos said again, louder.

 

“It was really good, Luke, thank you,” Danny said, putting great effort into keeping his voice steady as he set the nearly empty glass down on the counter. “I… I just need to go to the washroom. Excuse me.”

 

Luke looked as if he was about to say something but Danny hurried down the hallway, not stopping until he’d passed through the master bedroom and had the door to the bathroom closed behind him. He leaned his forehead against it for a moment, trying to calm the static in his mind.

 

_You don’t have to do it. It would be_ **_stupid_ ** _to do it,_ he told himself desperately. And Matt would hear it anyway, most likely, even if he was currently… distracted. And then they’d all be angry and disappointed with him. Again.

 

_“Except you don’t necessarily have to call, do you?”_ Davos’ voice said.

 

Which was… true, Danny realized.

 

He pulled the phone out of his pocket with trembling hands. With the volume turned low, he played the voicemail again, typing the number Davos gave into a new contact and saving it under his name. Then he opened a new text message and stared at the blinking cursor for a moment.

 

What… what harm could it do, really? It… it wasn’t the same as sneaking off to the Lotte. It _wasn’t._

  


_‘What did Gao tell you about my mother?’_ he typed, and then hit send before he could have second thoughts.

 

It was barely thirty seconds before the phone buzzed with a reply.

 

_‘I’ll tell you everything. But only if you meet me in person. Alone.’_

 

TBC


	31. Jessica

Jessica kind of really loved kissing Matt.

 

He was certainly a very good kisser, but it wasn’t just his skill she was enjoying, it was… it was something about _him,_ something unique and special she couldn’t quite put her finger on.

 

Something that made her heart flutter in a way that she definitely didn't want to think about just then.

 

They’d been pretty good when they’d first gotten into the shower, actually going about the business of washing themselves, though there’d been a lot of long, lingering caresses as they’d ‘helped’ each other. But once they’d been mostly finished with that things had rather predictably taken another direction.

 

Jessica broke away from the kiss for a moment to push Matt up against the tile before once again capturing his lips with her own. When his hands rose up to wrap around her waist she grabbed them, pinning them both above his head with one hand, gentle but unyielding. He moaned appreciatively into her mouth, his dick - which had already been showing considerable interest in the proceedings - hardening even more against her hip.

 

She also kind of really loved how much he got off on how strong she was.

 

Jessica grabbed hold of his erection with her free hand, jacking it long and slow and sensuous, never breaking the kiss. If anything, she deepened it as if she wanted to devour him. It wasn’t long before he was gasping against her lips as he came.

 

She released his wrists and stepped back a little to rinse her hand under the spray of water, but he remained motionless for a moment, panting breathlessly from his orgasm. Then he was stepping forward, gently taking hold of her shoulders before turning her so that she was the one with her back against the tile. He kissed her lips very gently, downright chaste compared to how she’d just been devouring him, but when she tried to deepen it again he moved his lips away to kiss a trail down over her chin, her throat….

 

And then he was kissing a trail down over her breasts and belly as he slowly sank to his knees in front of her.

 

And… and oh, _wow,_ but could he do more with that mouth than just kiss.

 

Jessica threw her head back against the tile when she came a short while later, pressing the back of her forearm against her mouth to smother her cries a little. She wasn’t exactly shy, but screaming out her orgasm for everyone in the penthouse to hear would probably be a little rude.

 

As she shivered through the last electric waves of her climax Matt slowly rose up from his knees, kissing a trail back up over her belly and chest as he went until he was finally standing up straight again. He captured her lips with his own and she could taste herself on his tongue - his absolutely _amazing_ and _talented_ tongue - and she moaned. After another few minutes of desperate, all-consuming kissing he finally started to pull away, though she could sense his reluctance.

 

“Okay, we really need to get going,” he said breathlessly. “We can’t actually spend the whole day in the shower.”

 

“That’s a shame,” she said, but she let him finish rinsing himself off and then they both climbed out of the shower. She wrapped her hair in a towel and then  they headed back into the guest bedroom where they found Matt’s freshly ironed suit laid out on the bed.

 

“I should probably make a stop by my loft sometime today to pick up some stuff in case we end up crashing here again,” Matt remarked as he dressed. “I don't want to make a habit of wearing the same clothes two days in a row.”

 

“Not the end of the world,” Jessica said, giving her own shirt an experimental sniff. It would do for another day. “Though I bet Luke and Claire probably need to do something similar. I don’t think they came prepared to stay here so long. Hell, we should probably just assume we’ll end up staying until this situation with Davos is over. Which means I’ll need to stop by my place, too.” Her phone chimed with a text notification and she picked it up from the dresser. “Awesome, Malcolm found a current address for that woman from Heather’s will, Valerie Schuler.” She’d texted him the request before they’d gone to shower. “She has a place up in Yorkville on E 92nd near 3rd Ave. It’s Saturday, isn’t it? She might be home if we drop by.”

 

“Sounds like a plan,” Matt agreed as he knotted his tie.

 

“In the meantime I’ll get him to do some basic digging into Heather’s background and also work on getting contact info for those arts committees,” Jessica said, typing on her phone. “Which one did Hogarth specifically mention? One associated with the Met?”

 

“I believe so,” Matt said. “We should probably get Claire or Colleen to ask the Meachums about the nanny they had, to see if she can get us in contact with Danny’s old nanny or maybe even that nurse.”

 

“Well… Danny said he wanted to help more, right?” Jessica said thoughtfully. “Talking to the Meachums is probably about the lowest-risk task we could give him, and it’ll help him feel like he’s contributing.”

 

“That’s a great idea,” Matt agreed with a smile. “But don’t forget we haven’t broached the subject of Danny’s nanny with him yet and it’s likely a delicate subject.”

 

“Right,” Jessica said. “I won’t mention that specifically. I can be tactful, I swear.” Matt just chuckled a little, the bastard. She couldn't help smiling a little in response, though.

 

Once they were both fully dressed and Jessica had dried her hair, they left the bedroom to rejoin the others. It looked as though they’d just finished cleaning up from breakfast, Luke giving the counter a final wipedown with a cloth.

 

“Where’s the kid?” Jessica asked, looking around.

 

“He went to the washroom, but that was a little while ago,” Luke said, frowning a little. Almost in unison they all looked at Matt, who sighed.

 

“He’s on his way out,” he said quietly. Jessica figured he didn’t want Danny to hear and know they’d been checking up on him so closely. It _was_ a little crazy to be having such close tabs kept on you that even a long bathroom stay was worthy of scrutiny. It would drive her absolutely batshit, that was for sure.

 

When Danny emerged from the hallway he paused for a moment, looking a little surprised to see them all standing around the kitchen island as if they’d been waiting for him. He shifted a little uncomfortably before going to join Colleen, his arm reaching out to wrap around her waist. He looked a little nervous, his gaze darting around uneasily, and Jessica saw Matt cock his head a little towards him, as if something had caught his interest, but he didn’t say anything. She frowned a little, but didn’t want to draw attention to it by asking. At least not in front of Danny.

 

“How are you feeling?” Luke asked Danny. “You didn’t get sick like yesterday, did you?”

 

“No, I’m okay,” Danny said, blushing a little. He shifted some more, definitely seeming more restless than he had earlier, but didn’t say anything further.

 

“Okay,” Jessica declared, figuring somebody had to get the show on the road or they’d stand around with their thumbs up their asses all day. “Matt and I’s first order of business today is going to see that woman that Heather left some money to in her will, Valerie Schuler. Is the name familiar, Danny?”

 

“Uh… no,” Danny said, blinking at her. “I don’t think I remember my mom ever mentioning her, but I couldn’t say for sure.”

 

“How much money are we talking, here?” Claire asked.

 

“Hogarth didn’t give me a dollar amount, just said that it was ‘substantial’, so it’s hard to believe she could have been a casual acquaintance,” Jessica said. “Hopefully she can tell us something useful.”

 

“If she’ll even talk to you,” Luke pointed out.

 

“Details, details,” Jessica sniffed dismissively. “I have Malcolm digging into Heather’s background to see what else he can find out, and he’ll see if he can dig anything up on those arts committees, too. And Danny, we were hoping you could ask the Meachums about the nanny they had when they were kids. She’s another person worth talking to, and she might even know something about that nurse you mentioned and how we could track _her_ down.”

 

“Sure, I can do that,” Danny said, “I need to talk to Ward about some stuff anyway.” Jessica had to fight to suppress a little smile at how he did in fact seem to perk up a little at having been given a way to contribute.

 

“Ward also said he was going to look into when Rand first started doing business with companies we know to be Hand-affiliated so that we could get an idea of when Gao may have first appeared,” Colleen said. “Though he may not have had a chance yet.”

 

“Good,” Jessica nodded. “You can check in with him about that, too.”

 

“As for Luke and I, we need to go by my mom’s place and pick up some clothes,” Claire said. “Though I suppose I could go by myself,” she added uncertainly, glancing at Danny and Colleen.

 

Jessica grimaced a little. She didn’t think anybody was going to float the idea of Danny making a field trip _anywhere,_ not with the likely continuing interest from the press. And Claire clearly didn’t like the idea of leaving just Colleen alone with Danny at the penthouse. It seemed… overly cautious, maybe, since they were both grown-ass adults. But then again… there didn’t seem to be any predicting Danny’s mental state from moment to moment, and with Davos and Gao out there planning who knew _what…._

 

An image flashed through Jessica’s mind, of the utter devastation of the suite at the Lotte, and Danny covered in blood and struggling to stay conscious. She barely managed to suppress a shudder.

 

If some kind of crisis _did_ happen, there was every possibility it could be a _big_ one.

 

And considering how Gao seemed to know every move they made, she and Davos would likely be perfectly aware the moment most of the powered people were gone and might consider it an excellent opportunity to try something. It didn’t seem like a risk worth taking.

 

Danny seemed to cotton on to what the issue was, and he flushed red. Jessica almost expected an explosion - the Danny of just a short time ago certainly would have lost his temper at what could so easily be interpreted as being treated like a child - but he didn’t offer any argument.

 

“I’ll stay here with Danny and Colleen,” Luke said firmly. He looked at Danny, who was averting his gaze. “Sorry, man, it’s not that we don’t trust you….”

 

“No, I get it,” Danny said quickly, looking uncomfortable. “I… I don’t even trust myself, so why should you guys? And Colleen shouldn’t have to… have to deal with it alone if… if something happens.”

 

Jessica honestly wasn’t sure if this rather grim acceptance was preferable to an angry outburst, though she supposed it must be. He obviously still had a lot of shame and embarrassment about everything that was happening, but he did at least seem to be getting _used_ to being more open about his issues. That had to be good, at least, though if it slid too far into hopeless self-deprecation and despair that would definitely be bad. They’d have to keep an eye on it.

 

She shook her head a little in realization.

 

Just a short time ago she certainly never would have expected herself to be so concerned about Danny Rand’s mental well-being. Hell, she’d been convinced he was a delusional idiot five minutes after meeting him and had thought of it as a big joke, like the asshole she was.

 

But now… now she’d be lying if she tried to say he wasn’t amongst the most important people in her life.

 

She glanced around at all the others, her eyes lingering the longest on Matt.

 

Somehow, they’d _all_ become incredibly important to her. Luke had had a special place in her heart for a long time now, of course, but it was… a little _alarming_ , really, how quickly it had happened with the others.

 

At least, it had happened quickly after she’d mostly stopped resisting it.

 

A lot had certainly changed in the past few days.

 

She was broken from her reverie as Danny pulled his phone out of his pocket.

 

“Here, I’ll text you guys the number for the Rand car service, and have you added to the list of authorized users,” he said as he started typing. “There’s no reason for you to be wasting money on cabs.”

 

“Is that okay, since we’re not employees?” Claire asked.

 

“He owns half the company. I think it’ll be fine,” Jessica remarked drily.

 

“You’re all already registered with Rand security anyway,” Danny said without looking up. “It’s no big deal.”

 

“We are?” Jessica asked, blinking.

 

“It’s why you have access to the executive floors at Rand,” Colleen explained. “And why the doorman and other security downstairs here let you through unchallenged, too. Facial recognition on the lobby security cameras green lights anyone that’s already registered.”

 

“Fancy,” Jessica muttered.  


“When did that happen?” Matt asked curiously.

 

“Uh, right after Midland Circle,” Danny said a little sheepishly. “I thought… well, I thought I may as well, just in case.”

 

Nobody had anything to say to that. Once they’d parted ways after the Midland Circle fallout, Jessica hadn’t thought it likely that she’d willingly have anything to do with any of these people again, except maybe Luke. Hell, maybe even back then some part of her had sensed the possibility of… of what they could be together, and it had frightened her, though she didn’t like to admit it.

 

And there Danny had been, optimistically going through the trouble of having them registered with Rand security, _just in case._

 

She wasn’t quite sure what she was feeling for a moment, and then she realized it was _fondness._

 

Jesus.

 

A stop by a liquor store was definitely being added to the list of things to do that day. She certainly couldn’t deal with all these… _feelings_ completely sober.

 

Her phone chimed with a text notification and she heard chimes from Matt and Claire’s phones as well.

 

“Done,” Danny announced. “And two cars are on their way, one for Claire and one for Matt and Jessica. I told them to go to the rear service entrance, since… since there are probably still reporters out front.”

 

“Thanks, Danny,” Claire said.

 

Everyone said their farewells and then Jessica, Matt, and Claire headed out for the elevator.

 

“What caught your attention after Danny came out of the hall earlier?” Jessica asked as soon as they’d left the penthouse. She’d been dying of curiosity. Claire looked at Matt with raised eyebrows, apparently not having noticed.

 

“I’m not really sure, something just seemed kind of… off,” Matt replied.

 

“More so than the usual, you mean?” Jessica asked drily.

 

“Yes,” Matt said. “He was more agitated again. Kind of, I don’t know, disconcerted maybe? But he was trying hard to keep it under control.”

 

“You don’t think Davos called again, do you?” Claire asked in dismay.

 

“I’m reasonably sure that if he’d actually talked to him it would have caught my attention,” Matt replied. “That being said, I wasn’t keeping a specific watch out for it. We… we can’t monitor him every single second. It’s too much to ask of us and it wouldn’t be fair to him, either.”

 

“I know,” Claire said with a sigh. “It’s hard trying to strike that balance, looking out for him without smothering him or… or intruding on his privacy. And I know it puts you in the most awkward position of all.”

 

“I’m used to it,” Matt replied with a wry smirk.

 

When they exited the elevator into the lobby Jessica was relieved to see that the mob of reporters out front had diminished from the previous day. Perhaps without a sighting of Danny himself they were losing interest. She was still glad to duck out the back way instead of facing them, though.

 

“You know, if any of those reporters recognize you or Luke here at some point they’re likely to make a connection with what the article said about Danny having powers,” Claire remarked once they were outside and waiting for the cars.

 

“Well, if we’re going to be working together as a team from now on, I suppose that’s only a matter of time anyway, whether this whole mess with the article had happened or not,” Jessica pointed out. “And I mean, was there ever any real expectation that Danny’s powers would remain secret forever? He’s a billionaire and a semi-public figure already, what with the stunning return from the dead and all.”

 

“It’s definitely something we’ll have to deal with at some point,” Matt sighed. “I mean, I’ve been in the news, too, because of some of my cases, and any reporter who does a little digging will know I acted as Jessica’s lawyer once. I’d… I’d like to try to maintain the idea that I’m just acting as a lawyer and friend to powered people, but frankly I don’t know how well that’ll work out long term. I think I should try to prepare myself for the possibility of Daredevil’s identity becoming public knowledge.”

 

“Shit, Matt, I know that’s got to be upsetting for you,” Claire said.

 

“It is,” Matt said with another heavy sigh. “But… I was probably kidding myself if I thought this might never happen. I mean, Gao already knows, after all.” He paused, fidgeting with his cane, and Jessica could see how uncomfortable the subject was making him. “E-Elektra might have told her, or supplied enough details for her to figure it out, or she could have put it together from Matt Murdock disappearing from the precinct with Jessica and Luke and then Daredevil turning up with them later at Midland Circle, same as Hogarth did. What I don’t understand is why no police have come knocking on my door yet, because surely the hell some of them are smart enough to have figured it out, too.”

 

“Maybe they believe in what Daredevil’s doing,” Claire suggested gently.

 

“I don’t know,” Matt said uneasily. “And I hope I never have to find out.”

 

Jessica found herself reaching out to take his hand and give it a supportive squeeze, a gesture she might have thought unbearably sappy not too long ago. When Matt graced her with a soft, grateful smile that sent a warm tingle through her blood she found that she didn’t really care.

 

She didn’t miss the way Claire beamed when she noticed the gesture, either.

 

Apparently they were all a bunch of saps. Oh, well. Just another reason they seemed to be… fitting together so easily, maybe.

 

She was saved from further contemplation of that by the arrival of the first Rand car. Claire told them to go ahead while she waited for the next one, and wished them luck.

 

Valerie Schuler’s building in Yorkville, while not as luxurious as the Rand-owned building Danny’s penthouse was in, looked chic and expensive. Jessica wondered idly if she’d been wealthy in her own right beforehand or if it had been paid for by the inheritance. The doorman eyed Jessica’s leather jacket and ripped jeans and Matt’s two day growth of stubble with obvious distaste as he asked them who they were and who they were there to see.

 

“Jessica Jones and Matt Murdock to see Valerie Schuler in 1714,” Jessica replied. “Tell her… tell her it’s regarding a personal matter and that it’s very important.” The doorman eyed them suspiciously for another moment before picking up the phone on his small desk to call up.

 

“Playing it by ear, hmm?” Matt said softly to her, smirking.

 

“Why mess with a winning strategy,” she replied.

The doorman spoke briefly with someone on the phone and Jessica saw Matt raise his eyebrows.

 

“The same Jessica Jones who’s been in the news a couple times?” the doorman asked her, his face having paled somewhat. Great, another asshole who was afraid of powered people.

 

“The very same,” she said with her sharpest smile. He paled even more and relayed her confirmation to the person on the other end of the line.

 

“She says you can go on up,” he said, hanging up the phone.

 

“Thank you ever so much,” she said in an overly sweet voice as they walked past him.

 

“That wasn’t very nice,” Matt said as they waited for the elevator, though he was smiling a little.

 

“Eh,” Jessica said. “He was being a pretentious jerk even before he realized I could probably crush him like a bug.”

 

“Well, I’m pretty sure she only agreed to see us because she recognized your name,” Matt said.

 

“Yay, my infamy is good for something,” Jessica remarked drily.

 

At apartment 1714 they were greeted by a well-dressed blonde woman who appeared to be in her late forties, maybe early fifties. Around the same age Heather would have been if she were still alive, Jessica noted. Valerie Schuler peered at them curiously for a moment before inviting them in and offering them coffee, which they both declined. They seated themselves on the couch in her tastefully decorated living room and she sat in an armchair across from them.

 

“Does… does this have something to do with Danny Rand?” Valerie asked them, looking uncomfortable.

 

“Uh… yes. Yes, it does,” Jessica said, blinking at her in surprise. “How did you know that?”

 

“I saw that article in the Bulletin yesterday,” Valerie said, sounding sad. “And it mentioned him claiming to have special powers. And then the very next day someone _known_ to have powers shows up at my door, saying it’s regarding something personal. Considering that I used to know Heather, and that I can’t imagine what else your interest in me might be, it didn’t seem like it could be a coincidence.”

 

“Well, you’re right, it is Heather we’d like to ask you about,” Matt said. “We were told by someone who worked with the estate that she left you some money in her will. Could you tell us how you know her?”

 

Valerie looked at him intently for a moment before turning her sharp gaze on Jessica.

 

“You… you help people, right Ms. Jones?” she asked.

 

“It’s just Jessica, and yes, I try to at least,” Jessica replied.

 

“If anyone else had shown up here the day after that article, asking about Heather, I would assume they were reporters digging for more dirt,” Valerie said carefully.

 

“It would be a reasonable assumption,” Matt said. “But you instructed the doorman to let us in because you know who Jessica is. She's definitely not a reporter. As for me, I’m an attorney. We’re friends of Danny’s.”

 

“What is this really all about?” Valerie asked, her eyes narrowed.

 

“It’ll hardly be surprising, considering you’ve read the article, but Danny’s… in trouble,” Jessica said. “We’re trying to help him, and for reasons that it's best not to get into part of that is finding out as much as we can about Heather, which hasn’t been easy since she has no living relatives and so many of the people who were closest to her are dead.”

 

Valerie peered at them consideringly for another long moment before sighing heavily.

 

“I’ve never met Danny, but Heather was a good friend of mine for years,” she said. “If you’re really trying to help her son, then I’ll answer your questions.”

 

“Thank you, Ms. Schuler,” Matt said.

 

“I met Heather when we were both first year students at Hunter College,” Valerie began. “We were roommates. We got along so well that when we moved out of the dorm we got a place together off-campus. We lived together until she got married, in fact. We… lost contact after that, which was why it was such a surprise when the lawyer called about the will after she died.”

 

“We know that her parents died when she was young. Do you know anything about that?” Matt asked.

 

“Yes. Her… her parents and two older sisters died in a… a fire,” Valerie said, looking a little ill. “She was eleven, and the only one to make it out of the house.”

 

“Jesus,” Jessica said, suddenly feeling rather ill herself. They may have already known Heather’s parents had died young, but somehow she still hadn’t been prepared to hear the details of yet another child who’d been the sole survivor of their whole family. She realized her hands had started to tremble a little and clenched them into fists. Matt reached over to clasp one of them, looking grim.

 

“Who did she live with after that?” he asked.

 

“Apparently there were no relatives and no one else willing to take her in, so she went into foster care until she turned 18,” Valerie replied.

 

“What was she like?” Jessica asked, forcefully pushing back her turbulent emotions and focusing on the task at hand.

 

“She could be… pretty closed off,” Valerie said after a moment. “I think one of the reasons we got along so well was because I knew when to just let her be. She wasn’t really interested in socializing or dating much, though when we were still in school at least it wasn’t as if she had much time for things like that anyway. She had no family to help support her after all, so despite the fact that she had a partial scholarship she still had to work two jobs to make ends meet, all on top of being a full-time student.”

 

“That certainly isn’t an easy thing to do,” Matt remarked, and Jessica suddenly wondered how _he’d_ managed to pay not just for college, but law school, too.

 

“No, and it took its toll,” Valerie said. “She was stressed a lot, and could be quite the heavy drinker at times, but it never really got out of control or anything like that.”

 

“Did she ever show signs of… of mental illness?” Jessica asked. Valerie looked at her consideringly for a moment.

 

“The article is true, isn’t it?” she said. “Danny is… not well, isn’t he?”

 

“The article is exaggerated,” Matt said firmly. “But….”

 

“But the details are none of my business,” Valerie said with a sigh and a wave of her hand. “I understand. And well, Heather certainly had her periods of… of melancholy. But just like the drinking it never… never got out of control. I mean, losing her family so young, growing up in foster care, having to work so hard all the time… it would be surprising if she _didn’t_ get depressed sometimes, wouldn’t it?”

 

It certainly would, Jessica thought, and she couldn’t help but suspect that Heather’s depression and possibly even the drinking had both been worse than Valerie had realized. She’d said herself that Heather could be a closed off person, and even people who were usually pretty open didn’t like to talk about or sometimes even acknowledge such things. Heather had likely hidden the worst of it from her roommate as much as she could.

 

“You said you lost contact with her after she married,” Matt said. “Was there any particular reason?”

 

Valerie shifted in her seat, looking uncomfortable. Alarm bells began to ring in Jessica’s head and she noticed Matt’s posture straighten up more as well.

 

“Well, the whole thing was… surprising, to be perfectly honest,” Valerie said hesitantly.

 

“The whole thing?” Jessica asked, arching an eyebrow.

 

“Dating Wendell in the first place, and then getting married so quickly,” Valerie said. “And then to hear so soon after that that she was pregnant… I couldn’t believe it.”

 

“Why is that?” Matt asked.

 

“She’d always been very insistent that she didn’t want children,” Valerie said. She paused, looking even more uncomfortable. “She’d… she’d lost one before, you see, and didn’t want to risk ever going through that again.”

 

Jessica gaped at her in shock and she heard Matt suck in a sharp breath.

 

“Jesus,” she finally managed to say.

 

That… that certainly put a new perspective on a lot of things, that was for damned sure.

 

“When… when did this happen?” Matt asked sounding just as stunned as she was.

 

“When… when she was fifteen,” Valerie replied, sounding uneasy. “She never did tell me about the father or what happened with him, but the baby was born prematurely, with a serious heart defect. He… he lingered in the NICU for over two months before finally passing away.”

 

“Holy fuck,” Jessica breathed. A fifteen year-old girl who’d already lost her whole family, watching her baby suffer and slowly die, too. It was… it was a horrifying thought.

 

“It completely devastated her,” Valerie continued, her gaze distant. “I… I remember the night she told me about it, how much she cried. I’d never seen her like that before, and never did again. It… it only even happened because she was, well, she was really drunk at the time. She’d had a pregnancy scare after one of the few times she’d gone out with someone during our second year in school. She wanted to celebrate the test coming back negative and it was one of the few times we got drunk together, because I wasn't much of a drinker myself. But the scare must have affected her more deeply than she’d initially let on, because she drank a _lot_ more than she usually did and ended up sobbing out the whole story. She said she could never have another baby because she couldn’t face the possibility of going through something like that again.”

 

Hardly a surprising attitude considering the circumstances, Jessica thought, still reeling. Though it certainly brought a new dimension to the question of why she’d had Danny. It seemed unimaginable that she could have set aside such a terrible trauma and purposely gotten pregnant in order to trap Wendell into marriage, even… even if it did provide a possible explanation for how coldly she’d apparently treated Danny those first few years. But if the pregnancy had been accidental, then wouldn't it have made more sense for her to have not kept the baby?

 

“You said you were surprised she dated Wendell in the first place,” Matt said, breaking the heavy silence that had fallen.

 

“Yes, well, after that pregnancy scare it became even more rare for her to date anyone,” Valerie said. “And she certainly never got serious. So I was pretty surprised when she started dating her _boss_ of all people. And from that very first date it was practically the definition of a whirlwind romance. He swept her off her feet like a princess in a fairy tale. I’d never seen her so happy.” She fell silent, frowning.

 

“And then?” Jessica prompted, leaning forward.

 

“And then a couple of months later she came home one day and announced that she was leaving,” Valerie said flatly. “That she and Wendell were getting married. She assured me that Wendell would cover her share of the rent for as long as it took me to find another roommate, though that was hardly my biggest concern. She… she was acting so _strangely._ Flat and emotionless like a robot, not at all like you’d expect from someone about to get married. It was… it was a little chilling, really. And she packed her bags and left the very same night. I… I never spoke to her again.”

 

“Never?” Matt asked.

 

“No,” Valerie said sadly. “I tried to get in contact with her a few times, but she’d changed her cell phone number and wouldn’t reply to my emails. I even went to Rand Enterprises one day, after reading in the society page in the paper that she was pregnant, though I didn’t really expect that she’d still be working there and they told me as much.” She paused, sighing. “I kept up with her and Wendell a bit in the paper, I’m not even really sure why, after the way she’d suddenly cut me out of her life. But I guess I couldn’t stop wondering what had happened to make her do that, why she would have started a family when she had been so vehemently against it. The obvious thing of course would be that she wanted Wendell’s money, but she just wasn't the kind of… of mercenary person who would do a thing like that. And I’m sure her feelings for him were genuine. Then… then there was the plane crash and they were all… all gone. And the lawyer called with the news about the money she’d left me. I… I can’t even say what it meant to me. Not so much the money, though it was generous enough to change my life forever, but the fact that she hadn’t… hadn’t forgotten about me.”

 

Another heavy silence fell over them for a long moment.

 

“Thank you for your time, Ms. Schuler,” Matt said. “We really appreciate it. And… and we’re sorry we brought up these painful memories.”

 

Valerie nodded, looking drained.

 

“I… I hope it was helpful,” she said. “I was so happy when I saw the news last year that Heather’s son was still alive. Whatever this… this trouble he’s in is, please help him.”

 

“That’s the plan,” Jessica said.

 

Jessica rubbed her face wearily after Valerie showed them out and they were headed down in the elevator.

 

“Fuck, man,” she said. “We finally got some answers but now we have more questions, too. And, God, I… I can’t even imagine it. Having a baby at _fifteen_ and then having to watch him slowly die for two months. After… after already having lost her whole family… _fuck.”_

 

“It’s awful,” Matt agreed somberly, wrapping around an arm around her shoulders. She leaned into his weight gratefully until they reached the ground floor and exited into the lobby. The doorman gave them a wary look as they passed but made no comment. Jessica felt too wound up to taunt him again, even if it would have probably felt pretty satisfying. She pulled out her phone to text the Rand car service.

 

“We should probably stop by our places to get some things now, before we hear from Malcolm or one of the others with another lead to follow,” Matt suggested.

 

“Before we do anything else there’s another place we have to go,” Jessica said as she typed.

 

“Oh?” Matt said.

 

“Yup,” she replied. “A liquor store.”

 

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise Matt and Jessica will not have a monopoly on all the smut in this fic. ^^


	32. Danny

Danny watched the others leave with a heavy heart. It didn’t feel good, being left behind again, even though he knew the reasons for it were perfectly sound, foremost among them the risk of being swarmed by the press. He nearly shuddered at the thought.

 

It had been even more disheartening, though, to see how reluctant they’d been even to leave him alone with Colleen, because apparently just one babysitter wasn’t enough for him. He tried not to feel too depressed about that either, though. Again, they had perfectly good reasons for feeling that way. If… if he had some kind of episode, Colleen shouldn’t have to deal with it alone.

 

And he’d certainly proven himself untrustworthy when he’d snuck out the previous morning, he thought guiltily.

 

 _“And how trustworthy do you think they’d find you now, if they knew you’d texted me?”_ Davos’ voice asked, amused.

 

“It’s… it’s not the same,” Danny said, even as more guilt flashed through him.

 

“Danny?” Colleen asked.

 

“Nothing,” Danny replied hastily, blushing a little. He hated it when he replied out loud to his hallucinations without meaning to. It kind of felt like it was happening more often, too.

 

Colleen peered at him for a moment, likely perfectly aware of what had happened, but she didn’t push.

 

God, he loved her so much. He didn’t deserve her.

 

Or, more accurately, she certainly deserved someone better than him.

 

“Why don’t we run through your forms together?” Colleen suggested. “We were interrupted yesterday, and I think it would do both of us a lot of good.”

 

“That’s a good idea,” Danny said. “I just need to send a few texts to Ward, first. Ask him about contractors like I mentioned earlier, and about that info Jessica wanted.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket, his heart dropping a little when he saw there was a new unread text. He’d silenced the notifications before coming out of the washroom earlier so there’d been no telltale buzz.

 

“Okay, let me know when you’re ready,” Colleen said. “I’ll just warm up a bit first.” She moved over to the large empty floor space between the dining table and the sitting area. “You want in on this, Luke?” she asked, a playful smile on her lips.

 

“You realize I have no idea what I’m doing, right?” Luke said, though he rose from where he’d taken a seat on the couch to go join her.

 

“Don’t worry, it’s nothing too strenuous,” Colleen laughed. “You were a high school athlete, right? Nothing you shouldn’t be able to handle. We’ll stretch a bit to warm up and then I’ll help you with the proper positioning once we start on the forms. Helping each other train and stuff was one of the original goals of this team, remember?”

 

“I remember,” Luke chuckled.

 

While Colleen got started running herself and Luke through some stretches, Danny sat on the couch and started typing a text for Ward, ignoring the new text notification for the time being.

 

He… he wasn’t ready to deal with that just yet.

 

It really was good to have _something_ productive to contribute, even if it was a pretty small gesture compared to what the others were doing. It also felt surprisingly… grounding to ask about something as mundane as a contractor to renovate the dojo. It was something normal and ordinary that had absolutely nothing to do with… with anything _else_ that was going on.

 

 _“And when do you think you’ll ever actually see the dojo again, if you’re too afraid of the press to leave the penthouse?”_ Davos sneered, suddenly appearing sitting on the couch across from him. Danny started a little in surprise, glancing instinctively at Colleen and Luke but of course they hadn’t noticed anything.

 

It was a good point, actually. He couldn’t hide in the penthouse forever. Sooner or later he’d have to leave for one reason or another, and then he would have to face not just the press, but also the knowledge that anyone he might run into could have read that article, could… could _know._

 

Could know that he was crazy.

 

Maybe… maybe doing something on his own terms as Ward had suggested _would_ be the best way to go, though the thought still filled him with dread. But at least he’d be able to take a _little_ control of the situation.

 

It couldn’t hurt to think about it. He didn’t have to decide just then.

 

He jumped a little as the phone buzzed but it was just a reply from Ward, saying that he had a few meetings to deal with that morning but that he would send him an email regarding all the things he’d asked about later that day.

 

That taken care of, Danny found that he could no longer ignore the other new text. He glanced nervously at the apparition of Davos, but he was just sitting there silently, smiling. It was… unnerving. Swallowing back the lump in his throat he opened the text message.

 

_‘It would be in your best interest not to ignore me.’_

 

Danny sighed shakily. He… he wasn’t sure what he’d been thinking when he’d sent Davos that text earlier. He knew it had been impulsive and stupid. And he was pretty sure that Matt had been able to tell that something had been off with him afterwards, even if he’d been gracious enough not to say anything. But… but he couldn’t seem to shake that desperate _need,_ the need to talk to his brother and _make things right,_ the same need which had driven him to foolishly sneak out to see him the day before _._

 

Though how in the world things could _ever_ be right between him and Davos again after… after what had happened, he had no idea.

 

Danny glanced up at Colleen and Luke again, though they were occupied with themselves and didn’t seem to be paying him any undue attention. Colleen had started demonstrating some of the positions of the forms for Luke to follow along. As he watched, Luke said something too softly for him to hear and Colleen laughed. It made him feel… _warm_ somehow, to see them happy and getting along.

 

Then he looked at Davos again, who was still just sitting there looking at him with that disconcerting smile on his face.

 

He shuddered a little, his gaze dropping back to the phone to reread the brief text conversation from earlier from the beginning.

 

_‘What did Gao tell you about my mother?’_

 

_‘I’ll tell you everything. But only if you meet me in person. Alone.’_

 

_‘I can’t do that.’_

 

_‘Why? Because those so-called friends of yours won’t let you? They presume to treat you like a child and yet you have the potential to be more powerful than any of them.’_

 

_‘What do you mean?’_

 

_‘Meet with me and I’ll explain everything. I’m your brother. You can trust me.’_

 

Static had pushed at Danny’s mind when he’d first read those words, and when he’d finally managed to type a reply a few moments later, his hands had been shaking.

 

_‘How can you expect me to trust you after what you tried to do?’_

 

_‘What happened was unfortunate. But you should know better than to make me angry.’_

 

The blood had rushed in Danny’s ears and he’d been unable to do anything except stare in shock at that message on his screen for a long moment. Davos… Davos was blaming _him_ for what had happened. For… for how he’d tried to… tried to….

 

Static had threatened to overwhelm him until Davos had sent another text.

 

_‘Meet with me. You know it’s the only way you’ll learn the truth.’_

 

After that Danny had silenced the notifications and slid the phone back into his pocket, too overcome with conflicting emotions to continue just then. He’d left the washroom and rejoined the others, feeling not just guilty over having texted Davos in the first place, but also rattled right down to his bones by the exchange itself, despite its briefness.

 

Now he supposed it was unlikely that Davos would give up, and he could look forward to getting more and more texts from him, trying to prompt him into replying back again. And he had no one to blame but himself for having opened the door in the first place.

 

Though now that he’d gotten the ball rolling anyway, maybe it _would_ be best not to just ignore him. It would only… only make him angry.

 

 _“And you_ **_know better_ ** _than to make me angry, don’t you, Danny?”_ Davos said, grinning sharply. Danny shuddered again, static crackling across his mind.

 

Almost as if in response to his indecision another new text appeared.

 

_‘I know you want to hear the truth. Meet with me. You don’t need permission from the others.’_

 

Danny blinked at the last line, such a close echo of some of his own thoughts from earlier. Ignoring the way his heart was pounding in his chest, he typed out a quick response and hit send before he could think better of it.

 

_‘You’re right, I don’t need their permission. This is my choice. I can’t do this right now.’_

 

“Hey, Danny, are you finished yet?” Colleen called.

 

“Uh, yeah,” Danny replied distractedly, rising from the couch. He paused anxiously for a moment as he looked at the phone, then turned the vibration back on for notifications before sliding it into his pocket. As much as he didn’t want to deal with whatever response Davos might have to his last message, he needed to be able to hear if Ward or Joy tried to contact him. “Ward has some meetings this morning but he’ll email me later about the stuff I asked about.”

 

“That’s great,” Colleen said. “Do you want to put some music on?”

 

“Yeah, sure,” Danny said, going to retrieve his ipod from the bedroom.

 

“Man, I seriously can’t believe that thing still _works,_ let alone that you still use it,” Luke said once Danny returned to the living room. “You know most people just listen to music on their phones now, right?”

 

“I know,” Danny said a little sheepishly as he set it up and started the music playing. “I lose my phone so often it wouldn’t be very practical, though. And I don’t know, I guess… I guess I just couldn’t bring myself to stop using it. It’s… it’s one of the only things from home that I had with me in K’un Lun.”

 

“You couldn’t have used it there, though, right?” Luke asked, frowning a little. “I mean, there couldn’t have been any way to charge it.”

 

“No,” Danny said. “The battery died within a couple of days after… after I got there.” Danny sighed a little wistfully, thinking back. “One… one of the first things I ever did with Davos was… was listen to it with him, each of us with one earbud. I know his father had made him come spend some time with me in my room, and that he wasn’t happy to be there. Who could blame him? I was a stranger and… and not exactly good company just then. But the ipod fascinated him, and he’d never heard anything like that kind of music before. I think he was just as upset as I was when it stopped playing.”

 

Danny shook off his reverie and glanced at the others. They were both looking at him sadly.

 

“I’m… I’m allowed to have some good memories of him, aren’t I?” he asked, suddenly feeling vaguely irritated though he wasn’t really sure why. The memory couldn’t even be said to be all _that_ good, really. He’d been a… a _mess_ , a scared child alone in a strange and alien place, the crash and the deaths of his parents still so painfully, horrifyingly raw. And the older boy sent to sit with him had been sullen and unfriendly, obviously resentful of the task he’d been given. But when he’d taken an interest in the ipod and they’d ended up sitting shoulder to shoulder, sharing the earbuds to listen together… it had been the closest thing to comfort Danny’d gotten since the crash a few days before.

 

Moments like that with Davos had been pretty much the only comfort he’d ever really gotten in K’un Lun, he realized. The thought made his heart ache.

 

“Of course you are, Danny,” Colleen said, exchanging a look with Luke. “Why don’t we get started? I’ll lead and you can take over helping Luke with proper form.”

 

Danny nodded, pushing away his uncomfortable thoughts and going over to join them, taking up position near Luke’s side, Colleen facing them so Luke could more easily observe her movements. He took a deep breath, trying to center himself and clear his mind, but started a little as his phone buzzed with a text notification.

 

“Everything okay?” Colleen asked, glancing down at his pocket.

 

Danny retrieved the phone, half-heartedly hoping it was someone else, but it was indeed a reply from Davos. He slid the phone back into his pocket without opening it.

 

“Nothing that can’t wait,” he said firmly. He… he wasn’t going to think about Davos for awhile. Running through the forms would help distract him. “Let’s start.”

 

Colleen began, moving more slowly than she would have if it had just been the two of them for Luke’s benefit. Luke’s movements were rather stilted and unsure and Danny wordlessly stepped closer and put his hand on Luke’s arm, gently adjusting his elbow position and guiding him through the movement. Luke shot him a quick smile and Danny suddenly realized just how close they were standing, a strange tingling sensation growing in his chest at the proximity.

 

They continued to move through the forms, Danny’s heart skipping a little beat every time he reached out to touch Luke to correct his position. He couldn’t help but think with another flash of warmth of how he’d helped guide Colleen like this once a long time ago, though she hadn’t needed nearly as much help, having been familiar with performing kata in her own training.

 

Soon, though, there wasn’t room to think about anything else, not Davos, not the press, not his confused feelings, not _anything,_ as he just let the movements clear his mind and soothe his soul. It really had been too long since he’d done this, for all that it had only been a couple of days. He needed to re-prioritize his meditation and training. It had been foolish to let them slide when he needed the calm and focus they could bring more than ever.

 

He’d continued to occasionally correct Luke’s position, moving mostly on autopilot, and at one point he moved around a little to Luke’s front, leaning in particularly close as he adjusted the position of both of his arms. Luke leaned in a little as well, his nose almost touching Danny’s hair.

 

“You smell really good,” Luke commented softly.

 

Danny froze as his mind suddenly snapped back into focus, blinking up at Luke as his face heated up.

 

“Uh…,” he said intelligently. Luke grinned a little at how flustered he was.

 

“He buys really fancy, expensive shampoo,” Colleen said, pausing her own movements, the amusement clear in her voice. “It’s one of his few concessions to being rich.”

 

“Well, I like it,” Luke said, lifting a hand to run through Danny’s curls as he had done earlier. “It makes your hair really soft, too.” Danny practically melted under the touch, unconsciously leaning closer. For his part Luke smelled faintly of the sandalwood body wash from the guest bathroom, overlaid a little by the faint musk of clothes that had been worn one too many days in a row. It wasn’t unpleasant, though. It was _Luke’s_ scent, and it stoked something not just warm but also somehow… _comforting,_ deep down in Danny’s gut.

 

“You know what?” Luke said softly, his hand moving down to cup Danny’s face, his thumb brushing over his cheekbone. His gaze was intense, his eyes seeming to almost bore right into Danny’s soul. “You’re not all upset right now like you were yesterday.”

 

Danny suddenly felt like every nerve in his body was on fire. He swallowed nervously.

 

“N-no, I’m not,” he managed to say, his heart thumping madly in his chest.

 

And then Luke was leaning down and capturing Danny’s lips with his own.

 

He was a little tentative at first but seemed to gain confidence quickly, one arm wrapping around Danny’s waist to pull him closer as he deepened the kiss. Danny melted even more, leaning into him and bringing his hand up to grip Luke’s shoulder.

 

It was… _different,_ so _very_ different from kissing Colleen. Luke’s lips weren’t quite as soft as hers and he could feel the slight friction from his goatee. Luke was also not only taller and bigger than her, of course, but also taller and bigger than _Danny,_ something which he almost thought he should find intimidating somehow, but he knew Luke would never hurt him. Luke was _safe_ and he was _warm_ and he was… he was _home_ , and Danny kind of couldn’t believe they’d waited so long to do this.

 

Danny wrapped his other arm around Luke’s waist, pushing his body more firmly against him, drowning in sensation. He deepened the kiss even more, suddenly feeling almost desperate to be as close to Luke as possible. But then Luke was gently pulling back a little, brushing his thumb over Danny’s flushed cheek as he blinked up at him in hazy confusion.

 

“Hey, slow it down a little,” Luke said soothingly. “There’s no need to rush.”

 

“R-right,” Danny said, pulling back a little. He felt rather breathless and dazed, as if he was coming out of a dream, and he suddenly realized that Colleen was still there, standing a few feet away with a soft smile on her lips. Fresh embarrassment flooded through him.

 

“Uh… hi,” he said lamely, looking at her almost shyly.

 

“Hi,” she laughed. “I guess it was kind of rude to just stand here and stare but, uh… it’s possible I was a little mesmerized. If you guys, um, want some privacy, I can go to another room….”

 

Danny stared at her for a moment before mutely holding out his hand in invitation. She smiled and went to him, taking his hand before leaning in to kiss him. It didn’t last nearly as long as the kiss with Luke but it was… thorough, and it left him feeling breathless all over again. Then she looked at Luke consideringly for a moment before leaning up to kiss him, too, still holding Danny’s hand. Luke looked a little surprised but leaned down to meet her obligingly.

 

And Danny immediately understood what she’d meant when she’d said she’d been ‘mesmerized’.

 

They… they were _beautiful._ And he _loved_ them. He probably could have happily stood there all day, watching them kiss. But soon enough they broke apart, and then Luke was kissing him again while Colleen was running a hand through his hair, and that was pretty wonderful, too.

 

Danny wasn’t sure how long they stood there in their close little circle, trading soft kisses and caresses between them, but part of him wished they could have stayed like that forever.

 

Inevitably, though, the real world had to intrude. Luke’s phone rang with an incoming call.

 

“It’s Claire,” he said as he stepped away from them to answer it.

 

“How are you feeling?” Colleen asked softly, rubbing Danny’s arm. Her lips were red and her cheeks were flushed and she was one of the most beautiful things he’d ever seen.

 

“I’m not sure,” Danny admitted, still rather dazed. He imagined his own lips were pretty red as well. “That was… that was kind of amazing.”

 

“It was,” she agreed with a grin.

 

“She just wanted to let me know she was on her way back,” Luke reported, sliding his phone back into his pocket. “She should be here soon.” He looked at the two of them appraisingly for a moment, a pleased smile on his face. “You know, I’ve never kissed someone with facial hair before,” he remarked, running a hand over his own goatee. “It was… interesting.”

 

“Well, Colleen’s the only other person I’ve ever kissed, so… same,” Danny said.

 

“Really?” Luke said, raising his eyebrows. “I never would have guessed. You trained him well, Colleen.”

 

“He was a quick study,” Colleen laughed, wrapping an arm around Danny’s waist. Danny grinned a little, feeling warm right down to his bones.

 

Until his own phone buzzed with a text notification in his pocket, making his stomach suddenly drop with dread.

 

“Who is it?” Colleen asked as he pulled away from her a little to retrieve the phone.

 

“Ward, probably,” Danny said without thinking, knowing perfectly well who it most likely was. When he checked the screen his suspicion was confirmed. Then guilt flashed through him, because he _never_ lied to Colleen.

 

“You know you’re a really terrible liar, right?” she said blandly, as if she could read his mind, and he felt even worse.

 

“You’re right, I’m sorry, I… I don’t know why I said that,” Danny said, tensing up. Things had been going so _well,_ he’d been feeling not just okay, but actually kind of _good_ for awhile there, and now… now the real world was crashing back in on him and he was ruining everything, as usual.

 

“It’s him, isn’t it?” Colleen asked gently. Danny nodded mutely, feeling miserable and… and _exposed,_ somehow.

 

“Davos?” Luke asked, his face darkening.

 

“He’s been sending texts, but… but I texted him first,” Danny confessed in a rush. “I’m sorry, I just… I had to ask him about what Gao told him about my mom. I couldn’t wait.”

 

“Oh, Danny,” Colleen sighed. “Well, did… did he tell you anything about her?”

 

“No,” Danny said. “He… he wants to meet with me before he’ll tell me anything, but I said no.”

 

“Why didn’t you say anything earlier?” Luke asked. “You don’t have to hide stuff from us.”

 

Danny fidgeted with the phone in his hands, unable to look at either of them, static pushing at the edges of his mind.

 

“I… I knew how you’d react. I can see it in your faces every time we talk about him,” he said anxiously. “You all _hate_ him so much, and you think I’m… I’m stupid and… and _pathetic_ for _not_ hating him. And I know, okay? I _know_ I should hate him. I… I think part of me wants to. But I _can’t._ It’s like this… this block in my mind. He was my friend, my _only_ friend. And I just keep thinking of… of what I could have done differently.” It was starting to feel like there was a heavy weight on his chest, making it harder to breathe. “If… if I’d paid more attention when we were in K’un Lun, if I’d realized then what was happening, what he… what he was _feeling,_ maybe I… maybe I could have _done_ something, and none of this would be happening now.”

 

“You can’t blame yourself,” Luke said, reaching over to grip his shoulder. “He’s responsible for his own actions, no matter what you may or may not have done. And we may not completely understand how you feel, but we know it’s complicated for you. You can still talk to us about him. Nobody thinks you’re stupid or pathetic, Danny.”

 

“Well, _I_ do,” Danny said, jerking away, suddenly unable to bear the thought of being touched. “I’m stupid and pathetic and I… I keep making everything _worse._ And… and he’s _right.”_ Static was rushing over his mind and he was dimly aware of the phone slipping from his fingers to fall to the floor, but it seemed far away and unimportant. “It _is_ my fault because I… I keep making him angry and I _should know better._ Even now, he’s… he’s probably getting mad that I haven’t replied yet. I _do_ know better, but… but I still… I still keep _pushing_ him… and he… he… but it was _my_ fault… if I hadn’t made him mad, he… he wouldn’t have….”

 

He couldn’t breathe. There was the suffocating sensation of a weight on top of him, of hands pulling at him, of… of….

 

The world slid away….

 

 

 

 

Danny blinked slowly into awareness, feeling flat and numb and… and _drained._ Drained right down to his bones. At first he wasn’t even quite sure where he was but as things started to slide back into focus he realized he was standing in the penthouse living room. Colleen was in front of him, her hands on his shoulders as she peered at him, her eyes wide with concern.

 

“Danny? Danny are you back with us?” she asked anxiously.

 

“What… what happened?” he asked weakly. He raised a hand to rub wearily at his temple. He felt tired and… and his whole body _ached,_ as if he’d had an intense workout without warming up first. Alarm itched at the back of his mind.

 

“You… you blanked out again,” Colleen said, fear plain in her voice. “For more than just a few moments this time. It was for… for....”

 

“For over ten minutes,” Luke reported grimly, returning from the kitchen with a glass of water. “Here, drink this,” he said, offering Danny the glass.

 

When Danny tried to take it he found that he was shaking so badly he had to hold it with both hands to keep from spilling it. He drank the whole thing down, suddenly realizing how parched he was.

 

“Here, let’s sit down,” Colleen said after he handed the empty glass back to Luke. She took hold of his arm and gently led him over to the couch. He went without protest, still feeling groggy and dazed.

 

Ten minutes. He’d blanked out for over _ten minutes._ It felt… surreal.

 

“Claire should be back anytime now,” Luke said softly. “She’ll check you out then.”

 

“I’m okay,” Danny said automatically, though he felt anything but.

 

“Danny, you were… were _catatonic_ or something,” Colleen said. “That is not okay.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Danny said dully. It... it had scared him, too. Badly. But it still felt... distant. At least for the time being.

 

“No, _I’m_ sorry,” Colleen said emphatically. “I didn’t realize just how deeply you blamed yourself for what that bastard did. Do… do you _really_ think he wouldn’t have attacked you yesterday if you hadn’t… hadn’t ‘made’ him mad?”

 

“Maybe we shouldn’t talk about that right now,” Luke said hastily as Danny flinched.

 

“He said so, in one of the texts,” Danny said bleakly. “When I asked him how I was supposed to trust him after… after what he’d tried, he said what happened was… was ‘unfortunate’, but I should have known better than to make him angry.”

 

“Well he’s a fucking _bastard,_ Danny, and you shouldn’t listen to anything he says,” Colleen hissed, her eyes flashing angrily. Danny flinched a little and she looked momentarily chagrined, though he could still see how upset she was.

 

“He’s a predator, Danny,” Luke growled. “He was just trying to manipulate you.”

 

Danny was saved from having to formulate a response by the sound of a knock at the door. Luke stalked over to answer it, letting Claire in. They had a quick, quiet conversation as Claire dropped the large overnight bag she was carrying to the floor, and Danny surmised that Luke had already called her to give her a heads up about what was going on.

 

“Hey, Danny. How are you feeling?” Claire asked as she came into the living room.

 

“Tired,” he replied. “And kind of… flat.”

 

“Like… like you’re emotionally drained, you mean?” she asked as she crouched in front of him and gently took hold of his wrist to check his pulse. He nodded in confirmation. She peered into his eyes for a moment before straightening back up with a sigh.

 

“What could be causing this, Claire? Should… should he be checked out at a hospital?” Colleen asked tentatively.

 

“No,” Danny said immediately, fear spiking through him.

 

“I don’t think that’s necessary,” Claire said. “At least not yet. I mean, it’s not impossible that there could be a neurological cause, but under the circumstances a psychological cause seems much more likely. It’s not very common but it is possible for catatonic-like symptoms to manifest in people with severe PTSD. The mind gets… overwhelmed for awhile, for lack of a better description.”

 

“Is it dangerous?” Luke asked.

 

“It… it shouldn’t be,” Claire sighed, though she looked worried. “Just a reminder that this is not my field of expertise and I’m relying on research and on consulting colleagues,” she added drily. “I did some research on my phone during the commute because of what happened at breakfast in case it happened again, and I think for now we’ll just have to deal with it one incident at a time. I know I keep saying it, but….”

 

“Things will get worse before they get better,” Luke said grimly. Claire nodded.

 

Danny clenched his fists in his lap, feeling a wave of despair wash over him. He was really starting to doubt the part of that equation where things actually got any better.

 

He suddenly remembered that he still had at least two unread texts from Davos. He glanced around for his phone and spotted it on the floor a few feet away. He barely remembered the sensation of it having slipped through his fingers earlier, like it had been a dream. He rose to his feet, feeling a little dizzy at the movement, and retrieved it.

 

“Danny, are you sure that’s a good idea?” Luke asked, guessing what his intention was.

 

“Pretty sure it’s _not_ a good idea, actually,” Danny muttered, staring at the notification bar. Still just the two unread texts, but somehow it still felt like… like pressure was mounting, like the longer he waited to deal with them, the worse it would be.

 

Talking to Davos wasn’t a good idea, he _knew_ that. But not talking to him felt like it wasn’t a good idea, either. Danny couldn’t win.

 

 _“You know ignoring me makes me angry,”_ Davos’ voice hissed. Danny shuddered.

 

“Danny, it’s your choice whether to communicate with him or not,” Colleen said apprehensively. “I know your feelings for him are… are complicated. But if nothing else, you _have_ to believe us when we say that nothing he does is your fault. You are _not_ to blame for what he did. Please, Danny, please tell me you believe that.”

 

Danny could only look at her helplessly, unable to tell her what she wanted to hear. Her face crumpled and Luke and Claire looked at each other in dismay.

 

Before anyone could say anything else there was another knock at the door. Luke was closest so he went to answer it. Matt and Jessica had returned, each of them carrying an overnight bag. They seemed to quickly sense the tension in the air.

 

“Well, I’m super glad that everyone’s already on edge cuz boy do we have a bombshell for you guys,” Jessica said drily.

 

TBC


	33. Colleen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a shorter chapter than usual this time, sorry! ^^ I'll try to make up for it next time.

“Well, I’m super glad that everyone’s already on edge cuz boy do we have a bombshell for you guys,” Jessica said drily.

 

Colleen sighed, rubbing her face wearily. She kind of wanted to scream at the interruption, though of course the terrible timing hadn’t been deliberate on Jessica and Matt’s part. But she didn’t want to let the issue go. Of course she’d known that Danny felt guilty about Davos and they’d touched on it before, but she hadn’t realized just how deeply Danny still blamed  _ himself  _ and his own actions for the things that bastard had done to him. Her heart was  _ aching _ with the knowledge.

 

“What happened?” Matt asked quietly as he and Jessica set their bags down next to Claire’s. Surprisingly enough it was Danny who answered.

 

“I blanked out again, like at breakfast, for a much longer time,” he said, his voice flat and emotionless. It sent a bit of a shiver down Colleen’s spine, as did the way he wouldn’t quite look at any of them, his gaze darting restlessly around the room as he fidgeted with the phone in his hands. “I got… upset, while talking about Davos. I was texting him even though I agreed to wait to contact him. I’m sorry.”

 

“Okay,” Matt said, in a tone that suggested he very much suspected there was a lot more to the story.

 

“You were  _ texting _ him?” Jessica said incredulously. Danny’s shoulders tensed a little and a grimace passed over his face.

 

“Jess, not now,” Luke said quickly. Jessica raised her eyebrows a little but didn’t say anything further. 

 

A tense silence fell over the room for a moment.

 

“You said you guys had a bombshell for us? So that lady was able to tell you something?” Claire finally prompted.

 

“Yes but maybe it can wait a bit, though, until everyone’s… more settled,” Matt suggested.

 

“I’m fine,” Danny said. “I’m just going to… to go splash some cold water on my face.” He took a step towards the hallway before pausing and looking down at his phone. He turned towards Colleen and held it out towards her. “Here. Since I can’t be trusted.”

 

“Danny,” she said, dismayed. He stood there holding the phone towards her, not meeting her eyes, until she finally reached out to take it. Then he disappeared down the hallway without another word.

 

“He seems… not okay,” Jessica said after a moment of heavy silence. “And I’m not trying to be facetious, either.”

 

“He’s likely still feeling drained from that… episode,” Claire said grimly. 

 

“It was that bad?” Matt asked seriously. 

 

“He was talking about Davos, about… about blaming himself for what he’d done, and he got more and more worked up until he just… stopped,” Luke said. “Went totally unresponsive, just standing there staring into space for almost ten minutes. It was… scary.”

 

“Jesus,” Jessica said, blinking.

 

“Like I said to Luke and Colleen, it’s not very common with PTSD, but it  _ can _ happen in extreme cases,” Claire said. “The mind gets overwhelmed and just kind of shuts down for a bit.”

 

“I... I think we need to cool it down on the Davos hostility,” Colleen said.

 

“I agree,” Luke said with a sigh.

 

“You think it’s contributing?” Matt asked.

 

“It’s definitely not helping,” Luke replied wryly.

 

“I… I think it’s feeding into his guilt,” Colleen said. “Luke asked him earlier why he hadn’t told us about texting Davos at first and it’s what got him so upset before he… he blanked out. He doesn’t feel like he can talk to us about him because we’re all so hostile whenever he comes up, and Danny feels like… like we’re judging him for… for  _ not  _ being hostile. It’s… it’s making him feel like there’s something wrong with him for still caring about him, which is just… making everything worse.”

 

“It’s like a vicious cycle,” Luke said with a scowl. “He feels guilt and shame for still caring about Davos while he hears almost nothing but hostility from us. Then that guilt and shame is no doubt getting reinforced when Davos does things like flat out tell him what happened is his fault.”

 

“He  _ what?” _ Jessica asked archly.

 

“Apparently in one of the texts Davos sent he said what happened yesterday was Danny’s fault because he should have  _ known better _ than to make him mad,” Colleen bit out, clenching her fists.

 

“I seriously owe that creep a major beatdown,” Jessica snarled.

 

“And that is just the kind of thing we need to tone down,” Luke said, giving her a look.

 

“It’s hurting Danny, whether we intend it that way or not,” Colleen said, nodding. “And I have no doubt that Davos has tried before and will continue to try to drive a wedge between us and Danny, to isolate him, and this could easily play right into his hands, if he wants to try to come off as the villainized, misunderstood old friend. It’s like you said this morning, Jessica, Danny’s feelings for him make him vulnerable to his manipulations. His guilt over those feelings is only making it worse.”

 

“Fuck,” Jessica said emphatically after looking at her for a moment. She sighed, rubbing her face wearily. “It does make sense. I’ll… I’ll try to tone it down. But… I’m not very good at not being an asshole, so by all means, just like… kick me or something if I’m being stupid.”

 

“Hopefully that won’t be necessary,” Matt said drily. “He’s coming back,” he added quietly.

 

A moment later Danny emerged from the hallway, looking pale and tired and… and kind of  _ flat,  _ still. Colleen was starting to think this emotional blankness was almost as frightening as the catatonic blankness had been. Then she thought of how he’d just been standing there for so long, his muscles rigid and his gaze a thousand miles away and no, it really, really wasn’t.

 

Colleen held his phone out towards him but he just crossed his arms over his chest, shaking his head a little. Her heart sank. She wasn’t sure if the gesture was for their benefit, because he didn’t think they trusted him, or for his own, because he didn’t trust himself. She wasn’t sure which would be worse.

 

“Are you sure you don’t want to read the new texts?” Colleen asked him softly. “It’s your decision, Danny.” He looked at the phone for a moment before shaking his head again.

 

“Not now. Later, maybe. You… you hang on to it,” Danny replied quietly. “What did you guys find out?” he asked, looking towards Matt and Jessica, though Colleen noticed he still wouldn’t quite meet anyone’s eyes. 

 

“Are you sure you’re feeling up to this right now?” Claire asked, her brow creased with worry. Colleen nearly flinched, knowing Danny wasn’t going to appreciate feeling like he was being coddled.

 

“I’m  _ fine,” _ Danny said, and sure enough there was a note of irritation in his voice. 

 

“Danny, I’m going to be frank with you,” Matt said seriously. “And this isn’t meant to be any kind of effort to treat you like a child or anything like that. But we found out some things about your mother that are likely going to be pretty upsetting for you to hear, and you just went through a very emotional episode a short time ago and are still feeling the effects of it. There’d be no shame at all if you wanted to take some time before we talked.”

 

Danny blinked at him, and seemed to take a moment to actually mull it over. Colleen felt a wave of intense affection for Matt and his ability to be reasonable.

 

“I’m okay, Matt, thank you,” Danny finally said. “Let’s… let’s get it over with.” Matt nodded in agreement.

 

“Well, let’s all sit down first, at least,” Claire said with a sigh.

 

They all settled into what were quickly becoming their usual places on the living room couches, Jessica having taken a detour to pour herself a glass of whiskey from the bottle she’d brought first. Colleen sat nestled close to Danny, and though his posture was a little stiff, when she took one of his hands in hers he gripped it back tightly. 

 

“So,” Matt began. “Valerie Schuler met Heather when they both attended Hunter College together. They were roommates and became friends so they continued to live together after they finished school, until Heather married Wendell. Heather had no further contact with her after that until the lawyer called to inform her of her inheritance after the crash.”

 

“Heather just suddenly cut off all contact with her when she got married? Why would she do that?” Claire asked, frowning a little.

 

“Valerie didn’t seem to know. She said she made a few efforts to get in touch with her but they were all ignored. And, well, the whole situation is rather... weird,” Jessica said.

 

“Weird?” Luke asked, raising his eyebrows.

 

Colleen could feel Danny tensing up more and more beside her with every word and looked at him worriedly. He was staring down into his lap as he listened with a bit of a strange look on his face that made her feel uneasy. She thought of how the first time he’d blanked out it had been when they’d been talking about his mother. He had said afterwards that it felt like there was something ‘itching’ at the back of his mind but that he just couldn’t go there, couldn’t even seem to _ try _ without it upsetting him. Everything about his parents and especially his mother in particular seemed to be such fragile ground for him and she suddenly found herself afraid of what Matt and Jess might tell them, if maybe doing this so closely on the heels of his last episode really was a mistake.

 

“Well, apparently prior to Wendell, Heather didn’t really date much, and never got serious with anyone,” Matt said. “So Valerie thought the whole whirlwind romance with her boss was pretty surprising right from the start, and all the more so when they suddenly married after only dating for a short time.”

 

“Her boss?” Danny asked, finally looking up.

 

“Heather worked at Rand, as Wendell’s assistant. It’s how they met,” Jessica said, her eyes narrowing a little. “You didn’t know?”

 

“No. They… they never mentioned it,” Danny said slowly, looking away again. Colleen squeezed his hand tighter.

 

“Well, there’s more,” Matt said, sighing. When he continued his voice was careful and measured and Colleen unconsciously started to brace herself, apprehension stirring in her gut. “Valerie said she was very surprised to read in the paper a couple of months after the wedding that the Rands were already expecting a child. And… and not just because it was so soon.”

 

“Then… why?” Danny asked tentatively. He’d almost seemed to coil tight as a spring as Matt had been speaking, his grip on Colleen’s hand becoming almost desperate. Matt shifted a little, clearly uncomfortable and a grimace passed over Jessica’s face. Tension seemed to crackle in the air.

 

_ Jesus, it really must be something horrible,  _ Colleen thought with growing alarm. 

 

“Danny,” Matt finally began, breaking the heavy silence that had fallen. “When… when your mother was fifteen, she… she had a baby, but he had a heart defect and he died when he was only a couple of months old.”

 

Colleen’s heart practically froze in her chest and she felt Danny jerk next to her as if he’d been struck. He gaped at Matt, looking completely stunned.

 

“Oh, my God,” Claire said, her hand covering her mouth.

 

“She had told Valerie that… that she never wanted to have any more children, because she didn’t want to risk going through something like that again,” Matt said quietly. “She was very adamant about it, which is why Valerie was shocked when she read that she was pregnant.”

 

‘We… we heard from other sources, too, that she’d said she didn’t want to have a family,” Jessica added quietly.

 

Heavy silence hung in the air. Colleen peered anxiously at Danny. He’d gone white as a sheet and he was staring so blankly at nothing that for a moment she was scared he’d checked out again.

 

“Danny?” she prompted gently.

 

“She… she just changed her mind, then,” Danny said shakily, a strange tone to his voice that made Colleen frown. “Because… because she was happy with my dad.”

 

“She could have,” Matt agreed reasonably.

 

“She… she had another baby,” Danny said dazedly, his voice still sounding strange. “And he… he  _ died. _ That… that must have been so  _ awful _ for her.”

 

“I’m sure it was,” Matt said somberly. “She watched him suffer in the NICU for two months. And she was very young herself, and alone.”

 

“Alone?” Danny said, his face crumpling a little. Colleen had to resist the urge to yell for them to stop, that it was enough, that Danny couldn’t hear any more just then.

 

“Her parents had already died by then,” Jessica said, her own voice uncharacteristically soft and somber. “Well, her  _ family, _ actually. Her parents and… and two older sisters all died in a fire when she was eleven.”

 

Danny jerked a little again, looking even more stunned.

 

“I… I never knew she had siblings,” he said softly.

 

“So she was in foster care, then?” Claire asked. Jessica nodded. “God, to have a baby alone at fifteen in foster care, and then to lose him like that… I can’t even imagine.”

 

“It’s horrible,” Luke agreed sadly.

 

“I’m sorry, Danny, I know this all must be hard to hear,” Matt said.

 

“She never told me any of it,” Danny said quietly, his gaze distant. 

 

“She might have, when you were older,” Matt said gently.

 

“Did Valerie have anything else useful to say?” Luke asked after a few moments of heavy silence had passed.

 

“She told us a bit about what Heather had been like when she knew her,” Jessica said. “She described Heather as a rather ‘closed off’ person, which was another reason she didn’t date or socialize much. Not really surprising in someone who went through so much growing up. She mentioned that Heather could be a heavy drinker at times, though she said it never got out of control. And she also said that she could get kind of ‘down’ sometimes, as she put it. It wouldn’t surprise me, though, if Heather had been hiding the worst of it from her and Valerie just never realized how bad it was.”

 

“Danny,” Claire prompted gently. Danny swung his gaze toward her, still looking stunned and a little out of it. “Would… would you say your mother was ever… depressed, maybe? Or… do you remember her drinking a lot?”

 

Colleen almost sensed Danny’s heart rate kick up, his body suddenly tensing even more, which she wouldn’t have thought possible. And it wasn’t just stunned shock on his face anymore. There was… there was  _ fear. _ Something in his demeanor had shifted, and she thought again with a fresh flash of alarm of the ‘itching’ at the back of his mind that he couldn’t go near.

 

“N-no,” he said, his voice cracking a little. “She was okay. Everything’s okay.”

 

“Danny?” Colleen asked uncertainly. Something was  _ wrong,  _ she could feel it _. _

 

“E-everything’s okay,” he repeated shakily, releasing her hand to reach up and fist both of his hands in his hair. His gaze had gone unfocused. _ “Everything’s okay.” _

 

“Danny, calm down,” Colleen said, her heart thudding madly in her chest. She twisted in her seat to put a hand on his shoulder but before she could touch him his body suddenly jerked, his arms dropping to his sides and his head falling back. His limbs started to jerk spasmodically and his eyes rolled back, his eyelids fluttering.  _ “Danny!”  _ she screamed, reaching to grip both of his shoulders.

 

“Don’t panic, and don’t try to hold him down!” Claire said as she and the others all jumped to their feet in alarm.

 

“What the hell is happening to him?” Luke asked, his face ashen.

 

“I think it’s a dissociative seizure, I read about them during the research I did this morning,” Claire said grimly. 

 

“A  _ what?” _ Jessica bit out, staring at Danny’s twitching form with horror.

 

“It’s a seizure caused by psychological reasons rather than by a physical one,” Claire explained.

 

“Jesus, I didn’t even know that could happen,” Jessica said. “What do we do for him?”

 

“They generally need to run their course, but… try talking to him, Colleen,” Claire said. “Sometimes people having dissociative seizures can retain some awareness of their surroundings, unlike with epileptic seizures.”

 

“Danny, please look at me, I’m right here,” Colleen said desperately. She had her hands on his shoulders but was careful not to restrict the twitching of his body as Claire had instructed. She didn’t think she’d ever been so scared in her life but she used every ounce of will she had to project calmness and stability into her voice. “I’m right here with you in the penthouse, and so are Luke and Claire and Matt and Jessica. We’re all here with you and you’re  _ safe.  _ Please, Danny, can you hear me? You’re safe here with us, I  _ promise.” _

 

She kept repeating the words over and over and nearly cried with relief when the twitching started to ease out of his limbs and he finally stilled, his head rolling forward as he started to blink dazedly.

 

“C-Colleen?” he said thickly, his gaze trying to focus on her.

 

“Yes, yes, I’m right here,” she said, and then she  _ was  _ crying, tears spilling down her cheeks as she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face against his chest. His head dropped forward as he pressed his cheek against the top of her head, one hand coming up to stroke unsteadily at her back.

 

“I’m sorry,” he murmured. She couldn’t even begin to formulate a response, too overcome to speak. She just squeezed him tighter.

 

“How do you feel, Danny?” Claire asked gently.

 

“T-tired,” he replied, lifting his head to look at her. Colleen reluctantly pulled back to give Claire room, wiping the tears from her face. “Did… did I blank out again?”

 

“It was what’s called a dissociative seizure,” Claire said, crouching in front of him and lifting his wrist to check his pulse. “Technically when you ‘blank’ out that could be called a dissociative seizure, too, but… I didn’t want to alarm anyone with the scary terminology and I’d hoped it wouldn’t ever get this bad.” She peered into his eyes as she had earlier, likely checking his pupils.

 

“A… a  _ seizure?” _ Danny asked, blinking at her with wide eyes.

 

“I know it sounds scary, hon, but it’s going to be okay,” Claire said softly, reaching up to run a hand through his hair comfortingly. “It’s like we talked about before, your mind is getting overwhelmed by all of this stuff we’re stirring up.”

 

“Is it going to keep getting worse like this?” Luke asked, his face creased with concern.

 

“There’s no predicting it, unfortunately,” Claire replied.

 

“Christ,” Jessica said, running her hands through her hair. She picked up her glass, stalking over to the bar to refill it and taking a deep drink. 

 

“We should probably put a hold on the conversation for now,” Matt said with a heavy sigh. “We covered all the major points anyway and I think we  _ all  _ need a break after that.”

 

Colleen couldn’t have agreed more. Looking around she could see that the incident had rattled all of them, fear and concern plain on all of their faces.

 

She jumped a little as Danny’s phone buzzed in her pocket. She almost didn’t want to look, Davos being the last thing they needed to deal with just then but she knew Danny was expecting to hear from Ward, too.

 

“It’s Ward’s email,” she said with a flash of relief when she checked. “It’s got a bunch of the info we asked for, including a phone number for his and Joy’s nanny.”

 

“Can you forward it to me?” Jessica asked. “I need a distraction to work on in the worst fucking way.” 

 

Colleen nodded, doing as she asked. She looked at Danny, who was still just sitting there looking dazed and exhausted.

 

“Do you want to go lie down?” she asked softly.

 

“That’s… that’s probably a good idea,” he said, his voice sounding almost painfully young. 

 

“I agree,” Claire said. “You’ve just been through a terrible strain, emotionally and physically. You should try to get some rest. We’ll have some lunch when you get up.”

 

“You’ll… you’ll come, too?” Danny asked, squeezing Colleen’s hand.

 

“Of course,” Colleen said with a rush of relief. She’d been afraid he’d ask to be alone again.

 

He rose unsteadily to his feet and she wrapped her arm around his waist as they made their way down the hallway. They settled down on top of the covers, nestled against each other. Colleen felt pretty drained herself so she wasn’t surprised when her eyes started to drift shut almost right away, but then Danny spoke, his voice soft and sad.

 

“If… if he’d lived, I would have had a brother, a  _ real  _ brother,” he said.

 

“I know. I’m so sorry, Danny,” she said sadly. He didn’t say anything else and soon they were both asleep.

 

TBC

 


	34. Luke

Luke watched Danny and Colleen disappear down the hallway and then turned back to Claire with a frown.

 

“Okay, we  _ have _ to be at a point where he really should be getting checked out by a doctor, right?” he asked.

 

“Absolutely,” Claire said with a sigh. “Are  _ you _ going to be the one to convince him to agree to it?” she added, arching an eyebrow at him.

 

“I’m willing to  _ try,” _ Luke said insistently. “That’s three episodes of him basically going catatonic today, each longer than the last, and now a.. a  _ seizure _ like that…. I mean, it’s got to be scaring  _ him _ even more than it’s scaring us. He might be more open to the idea now.”

 

“Or he might be more scared of being locked away in a hospital than ever,” Matt pointed out. “But you are right, Luke. I’d say it’s definitely worth having the conversation again, at least, but there’s a strong possibility he’ll still refuse.”

 

“I just feel so…so  _ helpless,” _ Luke said, rubbing a hand over his face wearily. “I wish I could be doing more. Things were… things were  _ good _ for awhile this morning, man. He… he was  _ okay, _ you know? And we... we….” His voice trailed off as he remembered trading soft kisses and gentle caresses with Danny and Colleen, how… how  _ connected _ they’d all felt. His eyes met Claire’s, and part of him thought maybe he should be embarrassed to talk about it in front of Jessica and Matt, but… he found it didn’t matter. They were family, too. “Colleen suggested doing their forms, and they were showing me how to do them, too. And, well, it’s sounds pretty cliché but one thing led to another and… and we kissed.”

 

“You and Danny?” Claire asked, smiling a little.

 

“Told you so,” Jessica said, giving Matt a nudge in the shoulder. 

 

“You sure did,” Matt said drily, clearly amused by her gloating tone.

 

“Me and Danny… and Colleen,” Luke said. Jessica raised her eyebrows and let out a low whistle. He gave her a long-suffering look.

 

“I take it from your complete lack of surprise or anger that it’s not an issue?” Jessica asked Claire.

 

“We’ve already discussed it a couple of times,” Claire replied. “And… it’s complicated.”

 

“Seems pretty simple to me, actually,” Matt said. She looked at him thoughtfully for a moment before nodding slowly.

 

“I guess you’re right,” she said. “When it comes right down to it, it  _ is _ pretty simple. We all love each other.”

 

There was an almost electric silence for a moment before it was interrupted by the buzzing of a phone and Luke looked over to see that Colleen had left Danny’s phone on the coffee table after forwarding Ward’s email to Jessica. With a frown, he went over to pick it up, kind of vaguely hoping it was Ward again, or maybe Joy, but found himself utterly unsurprised to see Davos’ name on the screen with a new text notification, bringing the total of unread texts to three. 

 

“Don’t tell me it’s that asshole,” Jessica said, narrowing her eyes at the no doubt dismayed expression on his face.

 

“Another text,” Luke confirmed. “There’s three now that Danny hasn’t read.”

 

Jessica stalked towards him, hand held out in silent demand.

 

“We… we can’t read them without Danny’s permission, no matter how we feel about him texting him in the first place,” Luke said, frowning at her. 

 

“I want to see exactly what he’s saying to mess with Danny’s head,” Jessica said, scowling. She shook her hand at him insistently. “I’ll take the blame if he gets mad about it.”

 

“It… it might actually be helpful to see what Davos has been saying,” Claire said thoughtfully.

 

“See, Claire can even claim she was just getting even for when Danny looked at  _ her _ phone without permission,” Jessica smirked. Her face softened a bit as Luke continued to look uncertain. “Look, you said yourself we need to tone down the Davos hostility. What better time to deal with this than when Danny’s not here?”

 

Luke looked towards Matt, who gave a small nod, though he didn’t look entirely happy about it, either. Sighing in defeat, he handed the phone over to Jessica. She read through the texts quickly, her face darkening.

 

“That fucking bastard,” she snarled. “He really did try to lay the blame for yesterday at Danny’s feet.  _ ‘But you should know better than to make me angry.’ _ Fucking gaslighting sicko.” She paused before continuing, visibly trying to reign in her temper. “Okay, so, he’s been trying to convince Danny to meet with him, alone, playing on how he’s his brother and he can trust him. He’s got some fucking nerve trying to play _ that  _ card. Danny’s last message said that he couldn’t and that it was his own choice not to, not ours. Because Colleen is right, the jerk has been bad-mouthing us, saying we’re treating Danny like a child and that he doesn’t need our permission to see him.”

 

“Not being taken seriously and being treated like a child have always been among Danny’s greatest fears and would definitely be easy to exploit,” Matt commented. “Davos  _ knows _ him, knows his fears and weaknesses. It may be frustrating for us to see Danny still getting reeled in by him after everything, but we can’t forget that Davos has had  _ years _ of experience manipulating him.”

 

“I still want to scream whenever he wants to give that fucker the benefit of the doubt,” Jessica groused.

 

“Jess-” Luke started to say, but she cut him off.

 

“I know, I know,” she said with a sharp sigh. “Years and years of ingrained unhealthy thinking patterns about abuse, from before he even  _ met  _ Davos. Just because it’s causing me frustration it doesn’t mean I don’t get it. And yeah… I guess I need to work on not letting so much of my frustration show in front of Danny, but… but his thinking patterns aren’t ever going to change if we don’t challenge them, right?” 

 

“Another thing we have to try to strike a delicate balance with,” Matt said. “Challenge his unhealthy thinking patterns without it coming across as blame or judgement.”

 

Jessica nodded, looking back down at Danny’s phone.

 

“Well, Davos is not very impressed that Danny hasn’t replied back since that last message,” Jessica remarked darkly. “From those unread texts first there’s  _ ‘You’re making a grave mistake. You would do well to reconsider.’  _ Pretentious ass. Then  _ ‘You know this is the only way. Do you really want to make me angry again so soon?’ _ and then finally the most recent one is  _ ‘You won’t like what happens if you continue to ignore me. This is your last warning.’ _ He sounds like an obsessed stalker, Christ.”

 

“He  _ is _ an obsessed stalker, for all intents and purposes,” Matt said drily. “But… that does sound like he could have something specific planned,” he added with a frown.

 

“I have a few choice words in mind that might make him wish he  _ had  _ been ignored,” Jessica said, raising the phone up, but Luke snatched it from her fingers before she could start typing.

 

“Reading the texts to see what we’re dealing with is one thing,” Luke said, exasperated. “Antagonizing the obsessed stalker by replying to him is quite another.”

 

“I was going to make it clear it wasn’t Danny responding, I’m not that big of a jerk,” Jessica said, almost pouting. Luke just arched an eyebrow at her, unimpressed.

 

“You said you wanted a distraction before, well, distract yourself with Ward’s email,” he said, sliding Danny’s phone into his pocket. Jessica rolled her eyes but offered no further argument, fishing her own phone out of her jacket pocket to read over the email Colleen had forwarded to her.

 

“So it looks like as best as he could determine the first time Rand did business with a Hand-related company was about four years before the crash, which was long before Harold Meachum’s cancer diagnosis and when  _ he _ was supposedly approached by them, right?” she asked, looking up.

 

“But not all that long after Heather’s mysterious attitude shift towards Danny, since Ward said that happened when Danny was around five,” Matt noted.

 

“Damn… it really looks like Gao could have been involved in that somehow,” Claire said. “The timing certainly fits. If she made contact with Heather when Danny was five, it’s conceivable that it would have taken a bit of time for her to manage to exert influence at Rand and actually start digging her claws in.”

 

“But we still don’t know what she could have possibly done to make Heather change so dramatically towards Danny,” Luke said.

 

“We still don’t know for sure that it even  _ was _ her, it’s still just conjecture,” Matt pointed out. 

 

“Some pretty convincing conjecture,” Jessica said. Matt tipped his head, conceding the point.

 

“Thanks to your talk with Valerie, we now have a pretty good idea of why Heather could have rejected him at first,” Claire said sadly. “Though it definitely is strange that she would have gone ahead and had a baby when she was still so… so traumatized by her previous experience. The fear obviously ran very deep, for her to have seen rejecting a baby in the first place as preferable to ‘risking’ loving him and then maybe losing him. I… I can’t imagine she could have been very happy, living like that.”

 

“Valerie was convinced Heather’s love for Wendell was genuine, though, and knowing exactly why she was so opposed to having children really makes the idea of her using a pregnancy to trap a billionaire husband seem all the more unlikely,” Matt said. “And there’s no evidence that Gao or the Hand could have been exerting some kind of influence _ that _ early on.”

 

“What… what if it’s backwards?” Jessica said slowly, looking thoughtful. “People always assume women trap men by getting pregnant. But what if it was  _ Wendell  _ who wanted the baby?”

 

“And what, forced her to get pregnant somehow?” Luke asked incredulously.

 

“Not necessarily,” Jessica said. “The pregnancy could have just been an accident. If they really were so ga-ga for each other little things like proper use of birth control could have slipped by the wayside, and nothing short of celibacy is 100% anyway. But what if… what if she hadn’t wanted to keep it, but  _ he _ insisted? He was a very powerful man. He… he probably could have found a way to get what he wanted, no matter how badly  _ she _ didn’t want a baby.”

 

They were all silent for a moment, digesting the idea and all its implications.

 

“It could explain why she cut off contact with her old life after she married, if… if something strange was going on with Wendell,” Matt said solemnly. “If she wasn’t actually  _ happy _ with the marriage and new life.”

 

“This is becoming more messed up all the time,” Luke groaned, running a hand over his face.

 

“Well, it’s still just guesswork at this point. I’m going to give the Meachums’ old nanny a call, see what she has to say about the Rands,” Jessica said, consulting Ward’s email again to find the number. “The email says he already had Joy contact her to ask her to cooperate and answer our questions so hopefully she’ll be pretty forthcoming.” She walked away from them towards the far corner of the living room for some privacy as she dialled.

  
“What if we really find out Wendell was somehow up to no good, too, after all we’ve already learned about Heather?” Luke asked in dismay. “How the hell is Danny ever supposed to make any progress working through this stuff when we just keep piling it on?”

 

“I don’t know,” Claire said regretfully. “Ideally we’d be taking a lot more time with this, but the threat from Davos and Gao is forcing our hand. As rocky as it is on our end, could you imagine the damage they could do if one of them were to use information like this against him?”

 

“Yeah, I know, we discussed the risk of that before,” Luke said with a sigh. He reached out to wrap an arm around Claire’s waist, pulling her against his side. “I’m just… I’m really worried about him, Claire.”

 

“I’m worried, too,” she agreed.

 

“We all are, and we have good reason to be,” Matt said. “But I don’t think we should forget how strong Danny is. He’s struggling now and definitely needs our help, but look at everything he’s already survived. He wouldn’t be here with us now if he wasn’t remarkably resilient.”

 

“You’re right,” Luke said contemplatively. “He’s already lived through things that would have destroyed most people.”

 

“And that was before he had us,” Matt said with a small smile. Luke couldn’t help but grin a little in return, feeling a rush of affection for him.

 

“True. Whatever terrible shit we keep digging up, he won’t be dealing with it alone,” he said. Claire smiled tiredly at him, giving him a squeeze where her own arm was wrapped around him.

 

“So,” she said. “Kissing happened, hmm?”

 

“Yeah,” Luke replied, feeling his face warm up a bit, though it was more from the memory than from any actual embarrassment. 

 

“What was it like?” Matt asked curiously.

 

“You’re… interested?” Luke asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

“I’m not… uninterested,” Matt said, smirking a little.

 

Luke was surprised to suddenly find himself wondering what kissing  _ Matt  _ would be like. 

 

But… only a  _ little _ surprised, he realized, which was rather surprising in itself.

 

“What about Jessica?” Claire asked, arching an eyebrow, but she was smiling like she already knew the answer.

 

“I doubt she’s uninterested, either,” Matt said drily. “We kind of touched on this before, but I think we all kind of have an inkling of what’s been… developing here.”

 

“Something pretty special, that’s for sure,” Claire said.

 

“What’s kind of freaking me out is how… not freaked out we are,” Luke commented. “I mean… don’t get me wrong, it _ is _ taking me some time to get used to it. I’ve never even been interested in guys before, so that’s completely new. But… it’s not taking me as much time as I would have expected. It’s already feeling… normal.”

 

“Well, they say sexuality is fluid and can change throughout your lifetime,” Matt quipped before his face sobered a little. “And, well, I don’t know. Something about this just feels kind of… inevitable.”

 

“Meant to be?” Claire asked with a smile.

 

“Maybe,” Matt said with a little shrug. “Jessica and I have had some interesting conversations about destiny the past couple of days. All I know is that when you first mentioned kissing both Danny and Colleen, my first reaction wasn’t shock or surprise like I guess most people would expect. It was… it was  _ happiness. _ Happiness for you guys, for being able to find some comfort in the middle of all this. And, well, happiness for all of us, too, because it means we’re  _ all  _ getting closer.” He paused, his smirk returning. “And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t also rather... intrigued by the idea of you all together… or that I wasn’t looking forward to when it’s my turn.”

 

“Your turn?” Luke asked, raising his eyebrows. “To kiss Danny and Colleen… or me?”

 

“Whoever,” Matt said with false nonchalance. Luke couldn’t help but grin, thinking that he was rather looking forward to when it was Matt’s turn, too.

 

“Are you guys seriously gossiping about kissing? Without me? Rude,” Jessica said, walking back over towards them, her phone call apparently finished.

 

“I think they’re flirting, actually,” Claire said drily. Jessica stopped short, giving each of them a measuring look in turn, her eyebrows raised. 

 

“Well, damn. Now I’m even more sorry to interrupt,” she drawled.

 

“You were able to get a hold of her?” Matt asked, his posture straightening, his expression all business again. Luke envied him his ability to switch gears so quickly. For his part, he was still reeling a little with new possibilities that he hadn’t considered before despite his growing acceptance of his feelings for Danny. When Colleen had first kissed him that morning he hadn’t been expecting her to join in, but she certainly hadn’t felt like an interloper. It had felt… it had felt  _ right. _

 

And now there was Matt. And hell, maybe Jessica, too. 

 

It was  _ crazy. _ Not to mention greedy. 

 

And nothing had ever felt quite so amazing and rich with possibility in his entire life.

 

“Yeah, a woman named April Milofsky,” Jessica said, pulling Luke from his swirling thoughts. “It’s a good thing the Meachums thought to ask her to cooperate, because I don’t know that she would have told me what she did otherwise. She was pretty reluctant to talk about it,” she added grimly. Luke frowned a little. He could see that despite her earlier joking there was a tight set to her shoulders and she was radiating tension.

 

“More bad news?” he asked with a resigned sigh. 

 

“Is there any other kind?” she replied archly. She rubbed a hand wearily over her eyes before continuing. “She worked for the Meachums since Ward was born, so she was familiar with Wendell before he married Heather. She admitted to some surprise to the whirlwind romance and marriage and said she didn’t really know what to make of Heather at first, but it was obvious from her tone that she hadn’t liked her.”

 

“And her behaviour towards Danny?” Claire asked. Jessica grimaced.

 

“She confirmed that for years, she had no interest in him at all and left absolutely everything up to the Rands’ own nanny,” she said. “She was able to give me a name, but has no current contact info for her. I already texted Malcolm to see what he can find. And, well, I asked her about the drinking and depression and she confirmed that as well. Full-fledged functioning alcoholic, by the sounds of it. And sometimes overtaken by depressed moods that had her shut away in her room for days.”

 

“Damn,” Luke muttered.

 

“And apparently she attempted suicide at least twice that April knew of for sure, though she was suspicious of mysterious illnesses on a few other occasions, too.” Jessica said grimly.

 

“Oh, my God,” Claire said in dismay. Luke’s heart clenched in his chest and he pulled Claire tighter against him.

 

“I assume these attempts were kept pretty quiet?” Matt asked after a moment of heavy silence had passed. “No one else we’ve talked to seemed to be aware of them.”

 

“Yeah,” Jessica confirmed. “I guess it likely would have been a big scandal in the society pages if it got out. She’d overdose on booze and pills, Wendell would ship her off to a private clinic for a couple of days until she was medically able to come home, and then she’d be sequestered away in her bedroom with private medical staff until the ‘crisis’ had passed.”

 

“There’s no way Danny wouldn’t have been picking up on something being wrong with all that going on, even if he was still primarily under the care of the nanny then,” Claire said.

 

“Seems unlikely,” Luke sighed. The whole mess really did just keep getting worse. He never would have dreamed even just a few days ago that the Rands could have so many skeletons in their closet.

 

“The atmosphere of secrecy and shame likely left an impression, too,” Matt said.

 

“I asked her about Heather suddenly firing the nanny and taking an interest in Danny herself and she was just as mystified as anyone,” Jessica continued. “But she did say it happened right after her last suicide attempt, which… I can’t imagine  _ that _ timing could be a coincidence. April said Heather was shut away in her room for almost two weeks, and that when she finally emerged it was like she was a new woman. She fired the nanny the same day and started barely letting Danny out of her sight, like she was suddenly obsessed with him.”

 

“That’s… an even more sudden change than I was expecting,” Claire remarked, blinking.

 

“What the hell could have happened?” Luke asked. “Did she have a near death experience or something?”

 

“Who the hell knows? April couldn’t even hazard a guess for the sudden change when I asked,” Jessica replied with a shrug. 

 

“Did she know anything about… about the bruises?” Claire asked.

 

“When I tried to broach that subject she got even more uncomfortable,” Jessica said sourly. “Said she never saw Heather hurt him but that things often felt… off.”

 

“That’s specific,” Matt commented drily.

 

“Tell me about it,” Jessica complained. “Pretty much all I could get out of her about it was that though Heather didn’t drink like she used to before she could still be very moody and…  _ erratic, _ as she called it. She was aware of Wendell taking Danny to the office sometimes because of Heather having so-called headaches but was clearly dubious of the explanation. And she didn’t know anything about a nurse staying with Heather those days, saying as far as she knew it hadn’t been necessary to have medical staff around the house anymore after Heather’s last suicide attempt.”

 

“So they were even more secretive about the nurse than about the suicide attempts?” Luke asked, raising his eyebrows.

 

“Seems like,” Jessica confirmed. “It’s a shame, I would have liked to get at least a last name. I don’t hold out much hope of tracking her down just going by that she was a nurse named Gina. I wonder if Danny remembers anything more about her. Assuming it’s even safe to ask, that is.”

 

“I can’t help but wonder if she’s connected to whatever caused the change in Heather,” Matt mused.

 

“Do… do you think she could be connected to Gao, then?” Luke asked with a frown. “I mean, if our working theory is still that she was likely involved….”

 

“Then maybe Gina was a member of the Hand,” Matt said, nodding. “She could have been the one to first establish contact between Gao and Heather, or… or she could have been brought in after, to… to keep an eye on her? And hell, maybe on Danny, too, if Gao’s interest in him really goes back that far.”

 

“It’s as good a theory as anything else we have,” Claire sighed. “I feel like every time we fill in some of the pieces, we just find more questions.”

 

“We definitely know a lot more than we did a couple of days ago,” Luke said. “We’re going to get this figured out.”

 

Jessica’s phone buzzed with a notification chime.

 

“Malcolm’s got an address for Danny’s old nanny, in Brooklyn,” she said after checking. “No phone number. Guess we’ll have to drop in on her like we did Valerie.”

 

“Field trip?” Matt asked with a small smile.

 

“Yup,” she replied. 

 

“Are you trading in your lawyer hat to become a full time private investigator, Matt?” Claire teased. “Jessica’s going to have to put you on her payroll at this rate.”

 

“Hey, I already have one employee I’m constantly trying to disavow, I don’t need another,” Jessica said. 

 

“We’re not coworkers, we’re teammates,” Matt said, his smile widening into a grin. “And I kind of like the company.”

 

Luke blinked in amazement as Jessica  _ stuck her tongue out  _ at him. And Matt chuckled as if he could tell.

 

Matt was certainly bringing something out in Jessica that Luke had never expected to see, something… something more soft and genuine than the sarcastic mask she usually presented. He couldn’t help but smile, feeling incredibly happy for her that she had found someone who could do that.

 

He was derailed from his thoughts by a buzz from Danny’s phone. He pulled it out of his pocket, checking the screen with a grimace as his fear was confirmed.

 

“Him again?” Jessica sneered, her momentary light-heartedness evaporating as quickly as it had appeared.

 

“Another text,” Luke confirmed, opening it up to read it since he knew she would ask anyway. He blinked at the words, dread curling in his stomach. “It says  _ ‘You were warned. Prepare to face the consequences.’” _

 

“Jesus, that doesn’t sound good,” Claire said in dismay. “He’s definitely planning something.”

 

“And what can we even do about it, not having a single clue where he and Gao disappeared to after they left the Lotte?” Luke said, frowning.

 

“Not much, I guess,” Claire sighed.

 

“I almost hate to say it but if Davos does make some kind of move it could give us more leads to follow,” Jessica said. “About the only thing we can do in the meantime is keep digging for answers from the leads we have.” 

 

“So you want to head to Brooklyn now, then?” Matt asked.

 

“No time like the present,” Jessica agreed. “Maybe we can grab lunch on the way.”

 

“Sounds like a plan,” Matt said. After bringing their bags down to the guest room they’d claimed as their own, the two of them once again headed out.

 

“Lunch sounds like a good idea to me, too,” Luke remarked after they were gone.

 

“We could make sandwiches, have some extra ready for Danny and Colleen for when they get up,” Claire suggested. Luke nodded his agreement and they set to work, pulling ingredients from the fridge and laying them out on the counter.

 

They had just finished assembling the food and were cleaning up when there was a knock at the door. 

 

“I’ll get it,” Luke said with a frown. As far as he knew they weren’t expecting anything else to be delivered from Rand and it was far too soon for Matt and Jessica to be returning. When he checked through the peephole he saw a Latina woman in her mid-thirties, clad in a security guard uniform. Perhaps it  _ was _ something from a Rand courier, though a little thread of unease stirred in his stomach. He hoped it was just paranoia, but opened the door cautiously all the same.

 

Luke had barely even opened his mouth to ask her what she wanted when she raised her arm up and sprayed something in his face. A cloying, bitter scent enveloped him, filling his lungs and sending his head spinning. He tried to gasp out a warning to Claire as he took a staggering step backwards, but darkness descended with frightening swiftness, sending him crashing to the floor.

 

The last thing he was aware of was Claire’s startled cry being abruptly cut off, and then there was nothing.

 

TBC


	35. Danny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a bit later than usual but I'm at a con this weekend so I'm actually pretty impressed with myself than I'm managing to update today at all. ^^

Danny blinked awake to Colleen shaking his shoulder.

 

“What is it?” he asked, suddenly feeling completely alert as he registered the concerned look on her face.

 

“I heard something,” she said. “And… and I have a bad feeling.”

 

“You’re sure it wasn’t just the others?” he asked, but he knew that she had uncannily good instincts. If she thought something was wrong, she was likely right.

 

“I think I heard someone cry out, but it was cut off so quickly…,” Colleen said, rising from the bed to retrieve her katana from where it rested on top of the dresser. Danny rose as well and went to the door, pausing to listen for a moment.

 

It was completely silent. Which in and of itself seemed rather strange, as he knew it was pretty unlikely all four of the others would have gone out at the same time, leaving the two of them alone. Apprehension curdled in his stomach.

 

A scent caught his attention, drifting in under the door. Something bitter and cloying… it reminded him of an herb the healers in K’un Lun had used in powerful sleeping draughts.

 

And he knew.

 

“Colleen,” he hissed, backing away from the door as he started to summon the Fist. But before he could issue any further warning the door was kicked in and something was thrown into the room, some kind of canister that immediately started to hiss, filling the air with a wispy, bitter smelling gas. It flooded through the room quicker than Danny would have thought possible, and he’d already inadvertently taken in a lungful before he could cover his face. A woman and three men, all dressed as security guards except for the gas masks on their faces, came pouring into the room after it.

 

Danny tried not to take another breath as he engaged the first man who rushed towards him, but found that his head was already spinning. The smoke was potent and fast-acting. Cold fear rushed through him at the thought of what might have happened to the others but he pushed it back to focus on the threat in front of him. If they could clear the doorway and get out of the room before they breathed in too much more of the concentrated smoke they might still have a chance.

 

A hit from the Fist sent the first man flying backwards into the one behind him and they both crashed to the floor. From the corner of his eye he saw Colleen blocking blows from the other two guards’ nightsticks with her sheathed katana and he took a step towards them, but the room tilted alarmingly. Desperately, he tried to stay focused but consciousness was slipping away like water through a sieve and the Fist flickered and then disappeared.

 

“C-Colleen!” he cried as he saw her stagger and then collapse to the floor, overcome by the smoke as well. He tried to take another step towards her but collapsed to the floor himself, darkness washing over him in an inexorable wave.

 

~~~

 

Was… was he dreaming?

 

Things felt… indistinct, passing in and out of his awareness like… like he was floating on a tide.

 

But… something was… something was _wrong,_ he knew that for sure.

 

There was… there was a weight on him, on his back, almost smothering him. Someone… someone was murmuring in his ear. Hands were… were touching him. He felt… uneasy, but it was… distant. He tried to focus on the feeling but the tide pulled him back out and things went dark again.

 

An indistinct amount of time later a vague sense of pain and pressure reeled him back towards semi-consciousness. He became dimly aware of… of something soft under his cheek. A… a pillow? Weight and heat were blanketed over him and he… he couldn’t _move_ but somehow he _was_ moving. His body was… was _rocking,_ rhythmic, jerky movements that corresponded to a dull ache somewhere deep inside him….

 

He must have made some kind of noise, because suddenly there was breath ghosting over his cheek, a familiar voice whispering through the shadows still clinging to his mind.

 

_“Shh, Danny, it’s okay, I’ve got you….”_

 

The rocking picked up its pace and he sank away with the tide.

 

~~~

 

Danny jerked awake, gasping for breath.

 

“C-Colleen!” he cried, looking around frantically, but there was no sign of her. He was alone in a small, unfamiliar room.

 

Alone and… and strapped down to the bed, with the same style of restraints they’d used at Birch.

 

For a dizzying moment panic threatened to overwhelm him. No, no he _couldn’t_ be back in Birch, it wasn’t _possible…._ And… and the room looked all wrong, he realized with a sweeping rush of relief. It looked more like a fancy guest bedroom or hotel room than a hospital room.

 

But then… where _was_ he? What… what had _happened?_ His brain felt like molasses, his thoughts slow and sluggish, even as his heart thundered in his chest with fear. He tried to piece together the last thing he could remember as he pulled desperately at the restraints. He and Colleen… they’d been lying down in the bedroom at the penthouse, and they’d been… been _attacked,_ gassed into unconsciousness by an incredibly fast-acting substance.

 

It… it had to have been the Hand. Davos and Gao. The thought sent a stab of fear through his chest.

 

Where was Colleen? What about the others, what had happened to them?

 

Danny sucked in a deep breath, trying to reign in his madly pounding heart. He had to remain calm. Colleen and the others were far from helpless. And he would be no good to anyone if he panicked.

 

As he tried to steady himself more hazy impressions floated forward in his memory, half-felt sensations of hands and pressure, of the ghost of breath on his cheek, on the back of his neck. Of a voice whispering platitudes in his ear….

 

 _Davos’_ breath, _Davos’_ voice... _._

 

A smothering weight and a rhythmic, rocking motion….

 

Danny froze, ice flooding through his veins.

 

_No._

 

No, it wasn’t possible. Davos... Davos _wouldn’t_ have… not when Danny was... was mostly _unconscious…._

 

_Except… except he’d tried to do just that yesterday, hadn’t he?_

 

No. No, it had to… had to have been a… a _dream_ or something….

 

But… but he could _feel_ the reality of what had happened in the familiar stinging ache between his legs, an ache he hadn’t felt in a long time.

 

Danny stared at the ceiling, his eyes burning and his breath coming in harsh pants and something awful and sharp aching in his chest as the truth fully sank its teeth in.

 

Danny… wasn’t quite sure what happened then. For a moment it felt like the world was perched on a precipice, threatening to slide away. Waves of static were threatening to drown him, to pull him apart. He could sense that it would be so, _so_ easy to just... let go and lose himself.

 

A scream was trying to climb its way up his throat, but he choked it back.

 

He choked it _all_ back, his resolve hardening.

 

Because… because he wasn’t going to scream, and he wasn’t going to cry, and he wasn’t going to let the static drown him… because _it didn’t matter._

 

It didn’t matter that Davos had… had fucked him while he was out of it. It didn’t matter that there could be no doubt whatsoever that Davos _knew_ he hadn’t wanted it. Because it wasn’t like… it wasn’t like he and Davos hadn’t… hadn’t done _that_ before. They had done it lots of times, in fact.

 

So it wasn’t a big deal. Nothing that was… that was worth getting upset over. It… it _wasn’t._

 

He had more important things he needed to focus on. He needed to try to summon his chi. He needed to get out of there and find Colleen and the others.

 

Nothing else was important.

 

Danny slowly and deliberately released a pent-up breath. It was dishearteningly shaky and he may have made a small, wounded sound at the end that was suspiciously close to a sob, but the next breath was steadier, and the one after that steadier still.

 

He could do this. He was okay. _Everything was okay._

 

Once he no longer felt quite so much like he was about to fly apart he turned his attention to his chi. He was dismayed but not terribly surprised to find that despite his best efforts he could not quite focus enough to summon it. There was a lingering fog over his mind that felt disturbingly close to how he’d felt under the influence of the drugs at Birch. Was it a remnant of the gas, or had he been given something else while he was out? He thought of the threats Davos had made at the Lotte, of how he’d said he knew how to keep Danny subdued without having to use force….

 

Alarm and panic pushed at the edges of his awareness again, but he refused to let them in. He was a warrior of K’un Lun, a _weapon,_ and a weapon didn’t know feelings, didn’t know pain or fear or… or _shame._ He’d been trained to withstand any enemy, any torture, and that was what he was going to do.

 

Danny closed his eyes and poured every scrap of will he could summon into clearing his mind and preparing himself for whatever might come next. It was the only thing he could do.

 

It didn’t feel as if much time had passed when the door opened and Davos entered the room, eyeing Danny with a small, smug smile.

 

Danny’s stomach twisted at the sight of him, his hands clenching into fists in their bonds. He felt a rush of… of _shame,_ knowing what Davos had done to him while he’d been helpless. Static came rushing back in as well, poking at all the cracks and fissures in the air of calm he was trying to maintain, and it took everything he had to force it back again.

 

 _“If he wants to do it again there’s not much you could do about it right now,”_ a voice whispered in the back of Danny’s mind. He barely managed to repress a shudder.

 

Then he felt a rush of sudden, unexpected _anger,_ vivid and white hot.

 

Because… because Davos had claimed he could _trust_ him.

 

And then he’d… he’d….

 

Danny forcefully pushed the thought away, along with the shame and anger. He had other priorities to focus on.

 

“Where are Colleen and the others?” he demanded, gratified that his voice sounded much steadier than he felt. “What did you do to them?”

 

“What, no greeting, brother?” Davos smirked.

 

“Where are they?” Danny demanded again, jerking against the restraints. Davos’ smirk melted away as he watched him, his expression turning sour.

 

“Don’t worry, no real harm has come to your precious companions, at least not yet,” he sneered, approaching the bed to loom over Danny. “Gao insisted upon it.”

 

“W-what? Why?” Danny asked, blinking. Why would _Gao_ of all people not want the others harmed? He had more pressing concerns, though, as he saw Davos remove a syringe from his pocket and remove the cap from the needle. “What’s that?” he demanded, tensing as adrenaline rushed through his veins. He realized it was actually helping to clear the last of the fogginess from his mind and reached desperately for his chi.

 

“This is a little cocktail Gao’s scientists have been working on,” Davos said, his eyes glinting as he produced some rubber tubing and started to tie off Danny’s arm. Danny tried to pull away, but of course it was useless, strapped down as he was. His chi was still being maddeningly slow to respond. “It will relax your muscles and dull your reflexes,” Davos said. “And make you… _malleable,_ supposedly without dulling your senses _too_ much.” Danny’s fist had just started to glow when Davos plunged the needle into a vein and injected the drug. Danny hissed in frustration as a warm, inexorable wave started to roll over him, making him feel strange and languid and leeching away his will. The chi he’d finally managed to start to coalesce together evaporated like so much smoke. “Not a moment, too soon, I see,” Davos grinned.

 

“What… what do you _want?”_ Danny moaned. Whatever he’d been injected with was just as fast-acting as the gas had been. He closed his eyes as the room suddenly seemed to appear just a little too bright, odd shapes moving just out of his field of vision. He’d… he’d never felt anything like it before, a strange sharpness to his awareness even as his body was being overcome by a strange… listlessness, like he was being pulled underwater. It… it felt worse than the drugs from Birch, worse than the lingering effects of the gas.

 

“You _know_ what I want, Danny,” Davos hissed, suddenly leaning down and gripping Danny’s face, forcing him to open his eyes and look at him. “And I gave you every chance to come to me of your own free will. This is on _you._ You were warned there would be consequences.”

 

“You… you said I could trust you,” Danny said, blinking slowly. “But I can’t.” The initial rush of the drug seemed to be starting to even out already. It wasn’t quite as intense and frightening but he still felt… strange, almost like he was floating, but not.

 

“You can,” Davos said insistently.

 

“You… you just proved that I can never trust you again,” Danny said dully. He could almost feel static pushing at him but it felt _miles_ away, muted by the peculiar effects of the drug. “You… you _raped_ me.”

 

“ _Raped_ you?” Davos scoffed. “Don’t be ridiculous, Danny. You’re _mine._ You’ve been mine for years. I couldn’t even count the number of times I’ve fucked you. _Now_ you want to call it rape?”

 

Danny blinked at him. He’d… he’d just thought something similar, hadn’t he? It… it had already happened so often it was ridiculous to get upset about just… just one more time… wasn’t it?

 

A small shudder passed through him but he wasn’t sure why.

 

“You should have just listened to me and agreed to meet,” Davos said as he started to unbuckle the straps holding Danny down. “There would have been no need for any of this… drama. We have some very important things to discuss, and I will tell you everything you want to know, just as I said I would.”

 

After the last strap was unbuckled Davos pulled Danny up into a sitting position. The room tilted and spun, and if it wasn’t for Davos’ arm slipping around his waist Danny was sure he would have slumped back down again. His muscles felt like _lead._ It dawned on him that he was free now, that he should be trying to fight, to find the others, but he found that he just couldn’t summon the will to move. It was… frightening.

 

Davos hoisted Danny’s arm up around his own shoulders and then leveraged them both off the bed, supporting most of Danny’s weight as he started to lead him from the room. Danny had little choice but to stumble unsteadily along with him.

 

Part of Danny recoiled at the other man’s closeness, at the knowledge of how those hands that were now supporting him had violated him such a short time ago. How they'd violated him so many times before. And now he was once again at their mercy, being moved and manhandled without his consent.

 

But… the feel of Davos’ body against his was familiar in other ways, too. It brought forth memories of the countless times one of them had to support the other after a particularly brutal training session… or a particularly heavy wine drinking session. Even through the strange effect of the drug he could feel his heart _aching_ with a sense of loss.

 

They _had_ been friends. Brothers.

 

But Davos had destroyed it.

 

Davos slowly led him down a hallway, through an ornate foyer, and into a dining room. Danny tried to take in more details of their surroundings as they walked, looking for some clue as to their whereabouts, but it was all he could do to put one foot in front of the other. He did however notice that men and women dressed in plain black uniforms were standing guard at every door and window. Hand soldiers, Danny guessed.

 

And then all other thoughts fled his mind as he saw who was already seated at the dining table.

 

“Colleen!” he exclaimed, making a motion to try to move towards her but Davos easily held him back, instead depositing him into a seat on the other side of the table, his hand lingering possessively on the nape of Danny’s neck. Danny barely noticed, his eyes raking over Colleen to check her condition. She had a bandage on her forehead but otherwise seemed unharmed. Thick straps bound her wrists to the arms of the chair and he could see that she was secured around her waist with a strap, too.

 

“Danny,” she breathed, relief evident in her voice. She shot a venomous glare at Davos before turning her attention back to him. “Are you okay? Did… did they drug you?” she asked, noticing that he hadn’t been restrained as she had.

 

“He injected me with something,” Danny confirmed. “I… I feel strange. Can’t… can’t really move.” Almost as if to prove the point he started listing to the side a little. Davos tightened his grip on Danny’s nape, pulling him back straight. Danny shuddered a little, suddenly all-too-aware of the weight of Davos’ hand on the back of his neck, and he didn’t know what might have shown on his face, but suddenly Colleen’s eyes were blazing with rage.

 

“You get your hands off him, you fucking bastard!” she snarled, jerking ineffectually at her bound wrists.

 

Nausea swooped through Danny’s stomach as Davos just laughed.

 

She could tell. Somehow, she could tell what had happened.

 

For a sickening moment Danny felt… felt _stained_ right down to his core.

 

But he forcefully pushed it back again, suddenly feeling a bit grateful for the peculiar not-quite fog of the drug. For all that his awareness seemed to be shifting between being too sharp and being too… soft, he still seemed able to think relatively clearly, but he couldn’t _hold on_ to his thoughts, couldn’t really dwell on anything before it slipped away like water.

 

But he didn’t need to dwell on… on _that_ anyway, because it didn’t matter. Just… just one more time out of so many. No big deal at all.

 

And having Colleen right there in front of him was an excellent reminder that they had more pressing concerns to deal with.

 

“I think she’s jealous,” Davos said, leaning down to speak the words into Danny’s ear as if sharing a secret, though he spoke loud enough for Colleen to hear. Her lips curled at the implied intimacy of the gesture and Davos laughed again.

 

“Taunting people is uncivilized,” a haughty voice announced from the doorway. “Though I suppose I shouldn’t expect better from children such as yourselves.”

 

It was Madam Gao. She entered the room, taking a seat at the head of the table.

 

“Just getting her acquainted with how things are,” Davos sneered. “Danny is mine. The sooner she accepts that the better.”

 

“Danny does not _belong_ to you,” Colleen hissed. “He doesn’t belong to anyone but himself.”

 

 _“Enough,”_ Gao barked. She surveyed them all with barely concealed disdain before her eyes settled on Davos. “Your rashness has forced our hand. This is a delicate matter and I would have preferred to take more time.”

 

“I waited long enough,” Davos said. “I finally have what’s mine. That’s all that matters.” He gave Danny’s nape another possessive squeeze. Gao turned her measuring gaze on Danny and he found that he couldn’t quite meet her eyes, his own gaze dropping to the table.

 

She knew, too. Of that he had no doubt.

 

_It doesn’t matter._

 

“You are like a child that couldn’t wait to unwrap a present,” Gao said, looking at Davos again. “If you think your… _eagerness_ to reacquaint yourself with Mr. Rand this afternoon didn’t cost you ground with him then you are a fool.”

 

“Danny knows his place,” Davos sneered. “He just needs to be reminded now and then.”

 

“You ba-” Colleen started to hiss but Gao cut her off with a wave of her hand.

 

“Enough of this unpleasantness,” she said impatiently. “We shall have dinner like civilized people.” Servants bearing trays and platters came into the room, serving them all wine and a rich-looking soup. Davos finally released his possessive grip on Danny’s neck to take his own seat next to him. “Now Ms. Wing,” Gao continued. “If we allow you the use of your right hand, will you behave? I can promise you you won’t like the consequences if you don’t.”

 

Colleen merely sneered at her, but Gao seemed to take this as acquiescence as she signalled one of her attendants and they stepped forward to undo the strap. Colleen stretched the arm experimentally, shaking some feeling back into her fingers and Danny couldn't help but wonder how long she'd been sitting there, or how long it had been since they were taken from the penthouse.

 

Colleen regarded Gao incredulously.

 

“You expect us to just… what, sit here and eat dinner with you?” she asked, her eyes narrowing. “What the hell is going on? Where are the others?”

 

“The others are not here, and are quite unharmed, I assure you,” Gao said imperiously as she began to eat the soup.

 

“Why? Why bring us here and not them? And where the hell are we?” Colleen demanded.

 

“I would imagine the value of the Iron Fist goes without saying,” Gao laughed. “And as a former member of the Hand yourself I have deemed you worthy of a certain… respect. As for the others… it is not yet their time. The Iron Fist will see to them himself, when the time is right.”

 

“What… what does that mean?” Danny asked, frowning.

 

“Enough questions for now. Eat,” Gao said in a tone that brooked no argument. When Colleen looked down at her bowl with a raised eyebrow, Gao chuckled. “It’s perfectly safe. Under the circumstances, if I wanted to drug or poison you, it’d hardly be necessary to bother hiding it in the food. Isn’t that right, Mr. Rand?”

 

“Right,” Danny muttered. They’d had no compunction about straight out injecting him, after all, or about gassing them in the first place.

He shook his head a little, trying to ground himself. Things were going… soft again. Just a nice friendly dinner with Davos and Madam Gao. Sure. The whole thing had an air of surreality to it that he doubted could be completely attributed to the drugs.

 

“What did you give him?” Colleen asked, her face creased with worry.

 

“Nothing that will harm him, Ms. Wing, just make him more… amenable to our conversation,” Gao said. “Now eat. It would be a shame to let it get cold.”

 

At a loss as to what they could do just then other than obey, Danny reached for his spoon. His muscles still felt alarmingly lax and his fingers could barely grip the handle. He had a moment of doubt as to whether he’d actually be able to lift it to his mouth but somehow he managed, though it was only a couple of spoonfuls before his arm just had no strength anymore. When he looked up at Colleen she was watching him anxiously.

 

“I’m… I’m okay,” he tried to reassure her. “Just kind of… spacey and weak. Just… have some soup for now, okay? You’ll need your strength.” She frowned a little but then nodded, picking up her own spoon with her freed hand and starting to eat.

 

The meal progressed in relative silence, courses brought in and removed and wine glasses refilled by the blank-faced servants. Gao and Davos ate heartily while Danny and Colleen merely picked at their own servings enough to satisfy appearances. Danny could almost have believed the whole thing was some kind of bizarre dream, especially with the way his perception of the world continued to keep sharpening and softening intermittently, like a camera lens trying to focus.

 

Except that every time he shifted in his seat there was a sharp ache to remind him that he was very much awake. Davos’ presence next to him was also… smothering. He could feel the other man’s gaze on him frequently, and every now and then he reached over to rub Danny’s nape again or to touch his shoulder or knee, as if reassuring himself that Danny was really there. It made Danny’s skin crawl, though the sensation was muted and distant.

 

“Now, young Mr. Rand,” Gao said after the dessert dishes had been cleared away and she'd signalled her attendant to re-bind Colleen's arm. “I understand that you and your compatriots have been trying to find out all you can about your mother.”

 

“Y-yes,” Danny said, frowning. “How do you know that?”

 

“There is very little about you and what you do that I don’t know,” Gao said with a laugh. “And if you’ll recall, I offered to tell you all about your mother quite some time ago. You could have saved yourself a lot of trouble.”

 

“We couldn’t trust you then, and we obviously can’t trust you now,” Colleen sneered. “We’re your _prisoners.”_

 

“You’re my guests,” Gao said archly. “And guests should behave themselves if they want to continue to be treated with courtesy.”

 

“Courtesy?” Colleen said incredulously, tugging on her bound arms in demonstration. “Yeah, this feels real courteous.”

 

“I will give you a demonstration of just how discourteous I can be if you don’t shut your mouth,” Davos growled. Colleen turned her attention toward him, her eyes shooting daggers.

 

“I wouldn’t speak to her like that if I were you,” Danny said.

 

“Oh? And just how do you plan on defending her in your current state?” Davos sneered.

 

“She doesn’t need me to defend her,” Danny replied, meeting Colleen’s gaze. “She’s perfectly capable of kicking your ass on her own.” Colleen flashed a grin at him and he felt a pulse of warmth for her in his chest.

 

They would get through this, no matter what happened, because they had each other.

 

Then Davos was rising from his seat and reaching over to grab Danny by his hair, yanking his head back. Danny reached up to grab his wrist to try to release some of the pressure, but his muscles still felt heavy and weak. He had little choice but to stare helplessly up into Davos’ dark, furious gaze.

 

“You’re _mine,”_ Davos hissed, giving Danny’s head a shake like he was a recalcitrant puppy. “She is _nothing_ to you.”

 

“Leave him alone!” Colleen yelled.

 

“Davos,” Gao said sharply. He shot her a venomous glare but after a moment he slowly released his grip on Danny’s hair and sank back into his seat.

 

Danny ran his hand through his hair, massaging the tender area at the back, as he blinked at Gao in surprise. That Davos would obey her like that, with nothing more than a word… it seemed unimaginable.

 

“Now, we have important things to discuss,” Gao sniffed imperiously. She turned her gaze on Danny. “Do you recall when I told you that the story of the child touched by fire was not just a story but a prophecy?”

 

“Yes,” Danny replied. “At the Lotte, when you told me where to find Davos.”

 

“I have been a student of scrying and prophecy since I was a child,” Gao said. “You may not have realized this, but unlike the others who became the fingers of the Hand, I was not a pilgrim. I am a native of K’un Lun. I was born and grew up there.”

 

“You grew up there and you still turned against them?” Colleen asked.

 

“I did not turn against them, they turned against _me,”_ Gao said, shooting her a sharp glare. “From the very beginning my interest in scrying and other magical arts was considered… _unsavoury_ by the Elders. They claimed such things were dangerous, but I came to realize in time that the true reason for their condemnation was because they considered them a threat to their own power.”

 

“A threat?” Colleen asked, frowning.

 

“The power of the Elders has always been based on their hoarding of knowledge,” Gao replied. “They keep ancient texts of mystical power secreted away in their own private library. Their rule over K'un Lun is absolute, and yet it is based on these texts that no one except their chosen few have ever seen. It has been that way for so long that no one even thinks to question it.”

 

“Until you,” Danny said tiredly. The shifting perception from the drug was taking its toll, a sharp ache starting to spring to life in his temples, the languid weight of his limbs making him feel drained right down to his bones.

 

“Yes, until me,” Gai said with a smug smile. “In my youth I would spend hour upon hour in the library, reading everything I could find on not just the mystical arts in general, but also on chi and the Iron Fist. I was fascinated. Thirsting for more knowledge than the Elders were willing to share, I even left K’un Lun for a time on my own pilgrimage, and spent many years studying different forms of mystical arts all over the world. When I finally returned to K’un Lun I was armed with the knowledge that had changed not just my view of the Elders by showing me just how selfish and corrupt they really were, it had changed my whole life and given me new purpose.”

 

“W-what was it?” Danny asked, uncomfortably aware of Davos staring at him intensely, as if waiting to drink in his reaction.

 

Gao leaned forward, meeting his gaze directly.

 

“The Iron Fist was never meant to only be the protector of K’un Lun. It is much, much more.”

 

TBC


	36. Danny

“The Iron Fist was never meant to only be the protector of K’un Lun. It is much, much more.”

 

Danny could only blink at her for a moment, taken completely off guard.

 

“W-what do you mean?” he finally managed to ask.

 

“I mean that the power granted to the worthy warrior who could defeat Shou-Lao has always been meant to be used as the warrior saw fit, to maintain balance in the world. The _whole_ world, not just K’un Lun,” Gao replied.

 

“That… that can’t be true,” Danny said, wide-eyed with shock. The Iron Fist was the Guardian of the Gate, the Protector of K’un Lun… it had always been that way… hadn’t it?

 

“The Elders were jealous of the power granted to the first Iron Fist,” Gao continued. “They saw the potential in his power and they feared it. They believed that left uncontained, an Iron Fist could one day rise up and remove them from power. So, they painted their own image of the Iron Fist as the Protector of K’un Lun, always subservient to them, always loyal and under their control.”

 

“You… you can’t really believe this, can you?” Danny asked, turning to Davos.

 

“It makes _sense,_ Danny,” Davos said, his eyes glittering. “Listen to her.”

 

“I’m sure you’ve wondered why you were never told of the Iron Fist’s ability to use chi for healing, have you not?” Gao asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

“Well… yes,” Danny conceded. He’d speculated that maybe they’d limited his training after becoming the Iron Fist because they’d been resentful of an outsider having achieved the title, but it had seemed strange that it was never mentioned in any of the stories, either.

 

“The channel to harnessing chi that Shou-Lao grants is potentially without limit,” Gao said. “The ability to heal is only the beginning of what could be achieved. Fearing that potential, and with the single-mindedness of warriors, the Elders chose to emphasize fighting ability alone.” Her smile sharpened into a grin. “The Iron Fist has the potential to be one of the most powerful forces in the world, if trained and harnessed properly. And the Elders of K’un Lun, in their great wisdom, chose to treat it like a guard dog.”

 

Danny stared at her, feeling like his world had turned on its axis. It… it _couldn’t_ be true… could it? If the Iron Fist was really that powerful, why wouldn’t the Elders have wanted to use it to its full potential? Could… could they really have been that fearful of a challenge to their own power?

 

He thought of the Elders as he remembered them, grim, unwavering men who had always looked on him, the outsider, with disdain. Some of them had even… had even argued when he was first brought to K’un Lun that he should not be allowed to stay, because he hadn’t journeyed there as a pilgrim. They’d wanted to throw him back out into the cold and snow to die before the gate closed. They’d been overruled, but not by a large margin.

 

Could he believe that such men would really hoard knowledge and power for themselves? That they would put a controlling leash on a force they saw as a potential threat to their own position?

 

Somehow… somehow it didn’t seem so far-fetched.

 

But to think that the Iron Fist really had the potential to be as powerful as Gao was suggesting, _that_ still seemed too implausible to believe.

 

“Even if we could believe what you are saying is true, what does it have to do with this prophecy?” Colleen asked.

 

“The story of the child touched by fire was already a common tale when I was young,” Gao said. “Like everyone else, I believed it to just be another story, emphasizing how great a warrior the Iron Fist was. There was no Hand to view as boogeymen back then, of course, but the Elders still promoted the idea that K’un Lun needed to be defended against outsiders who might steal its knowledge and power for selfish reasons, so even then they called the Iron Fist the Guardian of the Gate. It was not until I found the tale in a book of prophecy tucked away in a forgotten corner of the library that I realized it was much more than just a story.”

 

“But what does it have to do with me?” Danny said, hating the plaintive tone in his voice. All the information Gao was giving them would have been overwhelming under the best of circumstances. With the bizarre effects of the drug still playing with his mind, with Colleen bound and in danger across from him and the fate of the others still unknown, and with Davos sitting _far_ too close next to him… it was all becoming too much. His head was aching and he managed to lift his hand enough to rub wearily at his eyes, his limbs feeling more lax than ever.

 

“With time I was able to use the skills I’d learned on my travels to scry deeper into the prophecy, and I came to realize that it was foretelling the coming of a specific Iron Fist, one that would fulfill the true potential of his power by defying the Elders and leaving K’un Lun,” Gao said. “One who is pure of heart, but has been ‘touched by fire’ by undergoing terrible tribulations. And one who was not a native of K’un Lun, but who had been ‘delivered from heaven’ to train there.”

 

She leaned forward then, fixing Danny with an intense gaze that sent a shiver down his spine.

 

“You are the one spoken of in the prophecy, Danny Rand,” she said. “You have already fulfilled part of what has been foretold, arriving in K’un Lun under the circumstances you did, and then by not only becoming the first outsider to achieve the mantle of Iron Fist, but also by becoming the first Iron Fist to abandon the post designated by the Elders to seek his own destiny.”

 

“But I… I didn’t _mean_ to abandon it…,” Danny said. “I… I tried to go back.”

 

“Your intent is of no importance,” Gao sniffed dismissively. “Only the fact of your having left. And you could not return now even if you wanted to. But that can change, Danny.”

 

“W-what do you mean?” Danny asked, a little thrown by her switch to the use of his first name.

 

“She believes that if your power can be developed to its full potential it can be used in combination with her own power to forcefully pull open the gate to K’un Lun,” Davos said eagerly. “We could see home again, Danny.”

 

“Pull the gate open? By… by _force?”_ Danny asked incredulously. “There’s… there’s no way the Fist could ever be _that_ powerful.”

 

“What do you mean by combining it with her own power?” Colleen asked suspiciously.

 

“Even at full potential the chi of the Iron Fist could not do it alone, because of the unique mystical nature of the dimensional gate,” Gao said. “But I have mastered many mystical arts that, in combination with the power of the Iron Fist, could accomplish such a thing,” Gao said.

 

“You’re talking about dark magic,” Colleen said flatly.

 

“People are dismissive of what they do not understand,” Gao said with an unconcerned shrug. “There are forces in this world that defy traditional explanation, but they are no less real. I have access to powers you can’t even imagine.”

 

“Like that… that telekinetic blast thing?” Danny asked. Gao nodded, turning her attention back to him.

 

“I can help you, Danny, as I offered to do so long ago when we were in Anzhou. I can teach you to unlock your true potential,” she said.

 

“You want to corrupt his chi and use his power for your own gain,” Colleen sneered, but Gao ignored her, leaning forward and locking her gaze on Danny’s. He almost felt mesmerized by its intensity.

 

“Join us, as your mother once did,” Gao said. “Fulfilling your great destiny is all she ever wanted for you.”

 

“No, she… she wasn’t Hand,” Danny said weakly. “You’re _lying.”_

 

“So… what you’re saying is that you knew even back then that Danny would become not just the Iron Fist, but the specific Iron Fist you had been waiting for?” Colleen asked. “That that’s the reason you were interested in the Rands, not the company?”

 

“Yes, I have known since he was a young child,” Gao said, nodding. “The original prophecy never gave any indication as to _when_ this Iron Fist would arrive, or who it would be, so periodically over the years I would do my own scrying to see if the time had come. And after centuries of waiting the signs finally revealed to me that the one destined to become this Iron Fist had been born into the world. I used my mystical arts to track the child to New York City, and finally to the Rands and their young son, who was already being ‘touched by fire’, burned by his mother’s rejection. That Rand Enterprises was ripe for the plucking to further the Hand’s goals was merely a happy bonus.”

 

“She… she didn’t _reject_ me,” Danny protested shakily, feeling stung.

 

“No, not after I revealed your great destiny to her,” Gao said with a smug smile.

 

“W-what?” Danny asked after a moment of stunned silence. He desperately wished that he didn’t feel so off-kilter from the drug. He didn’t know how much more of this he could bear to hear, especially when he couldn’t really focus properly.

 

“After finally finding the promised child, I knew I could not leave things to chance,” Gao continued. “I came to New York and began to insinuate myself into society circles that I knew Heather Rand to frequent and became acquainted with her. She was very easy to read, a terribly unhappy woman doing all she could to ignore her problems by keeping busy. Such efforts are always doomed to fail, though, as evidenced by her repeated suicide attempts.”

 

“S-suicide attempts?” Danny said, his eyes widening with shock and his heart stuttering in his chest. No. No, she _wouldn’t_ have…

 

Something itched at the back of his mind, making him feel cold right down to his bones.

 

“Oh, Danny,” Colleen said, looking at him sadly.

 

“I went to visit her at home while she was convalescing from one such attempt,” Gao said. “We spoke for hours and I told her _everything.”_ She leaned forward again, her gaze intense. “Learning that her child had such a great destiny, that she had given birth to someone who would one day change the world, it gave her life new purpose. _You_ gave her life new purpose, Danny.”

 

Danny stared at her, completely and absolutely overwhelmed. He wanted to refute it, to call her a liar again, but… but….

 

 _“You have a great destiny, Danny,”_ his mother’s voice said, full of a dreamy, almost religious zeal.

 

There was suddenly a… a _clamouring_ at the back of his mind, of the things that itched in the abyss he couldn’t look into.

 

 _“You’re going to achieve wonders you can’t even imagine. You’re going to change the whole_ **_world_ ** _, baby,”_ her voice said.

 

Something… something was _pulling_ at him, was threatening to crack open and spill out of the abyss. But… but he still couldn’t go there, not now, not _here._ Not… not when he was surrounded by enemies. He tried to force it back with everything he had.

 

But that didn’t change the gravity of the realization that was sinking into his bones, into his _soul._

 

Gao was… was telling the _truth._

 

His mother. She’d… she’d really been….

 

“Danny! Danny, are you okay?” Colleen was asking, and Danny slowly blinked back into awareness, realizing that he must have blanked out again. Davos’ hand was on his shoulder, shaking him.

 

“I… I don’t know,” he said slowly.

 

“What just happened?” Davos demanded. “Why were you just… just staring like that?”

 

“None of your business,” Colleen hissed. Davos started to snarl back a reply but Gao cut him off, ignoring their exchange.

 

“Are you going to continue to deny the truth, Danny?” she asked. If she was concerned by what had just happened, she wasn’t showing it.

 

“No,” Danny said softly, feeling dazed. “No, I… I believe you.” The words were like bitter ash in his mouth.

 

“Danny, I’m… I’m so sorry,” Colleen said sadly. She flexed her hands against the straps like she wanted nothing more than to reach out to him.

 

“But it doesn’t change anything,” Danny said more strongly, meeting Gao’s gaze. He felt shaky and maybe more than a little bit... _shattered,_ but on this his resolve was firm. “I have no doubt that you must have deceived my mother about the true nature of the Hand, or she wouldn’t have had anything to do with you. She… she wasn’t perfect, but she was a _good person._ And… even if the Elders are as corrupt as you say, you’re no better. What other reason could you have for wanting to force open the gate other than to invade? I won’t join you. I won’t help you become more powerful and do more evil in the world. No matter what.”

 

Gao regarded him silently for a long moment, tension heavy in the air.

 

“I’m very sorry to hear that, Mr. Rand,” she finally said, her voice solemn. Danny couldn’t help but notice that she’d switched back from using his first name again. “But as you say, it changes nothing. You _will_ do as I say, one way or another.”

 

“Manipulating him didn’t work so now it’s time for the threats, I see,” Colleen sneered.

 

“I am not threatening him at all, Ms. Wing,” Gao said with mock innocence. “As the prophesied Iron Fist I have been waiting for for so long, he is invaluable. You, on the other hand… are not.”

 

“If you hurt her, you’ll regret it,” Danny said angrily, trying to rise from his seat but Davos easily pushed him back down. He clenched his fists in frustration at how weak and helpless he felt.

 

“That’s the real reason I’m here, isn’t it?” Colleen said. “Not because of any ‘respect’ you claim to have for a former member of the Hand. You want to use me as leverage over Danny.”

 

“Don’t be foolish, Ms. Wing,” Gao sniffed. “I merely thought it likely that if Mr. Rand were to be reasonable you may wish to follow him and return to us. It would be like coming home again, yes?”

 

“I will _never_ join the Hand again,” Colleen hissed. “And you’ll never convince Danny, either. Not everyone is so easily swayed to betrayal by a thirst for power like Davos.”

 

“We should just kill you and be done with it!” Davos snarled, slamming his fist down on the table. “I told you we didn’t need her!” he continued, turning to Gao. “Danny is _mine_ now. She is no longer of any importance to him!”

 

“You are a fool if you think his heart is not still with her just because he is in your possession,” Gao laughed. “She may prove useful yet, and will remain our guest for the time being.” She waved at her attendants and two of them approached Colleen, one of them undoing the straps while another waited with a set of steel manacles.

 

Danny sensed what Colleen was about to do and almost called out a warning to her. They were outnumbered, and she would basically be fighting alone as he was too weak to be of any help to her. But then it was too late, Colleen jumping to her feet as soon as she was free, striking out at the closest attendant and knocking him to the floor before rounding on the other one.

 

“Stop!” Gao barked, and before Danny could even blink another attendant had stepped up behind his chair and placed a knife at his throat. Colleen froze when she saw, the blood draining from her face.

 

“You… you said he was invaluable,” Colleen said, her eyes wide. “You won’t kill him.”

 

“No, I won’t,” Gao agreed. She nodded at the attendant and the knife moved away, but barely a moment later something was being jabbed into his side and then Danny was screaming as burning pain exploded through him.

 

It stopped almost as quickly as it had struck but left behind a searing agony that had him panting for breath and clutching at his side. He’d been shocked with a stun gun, he realized.

 

“You son of a bitch!” Colleen screamed. She made a motion as if she was going to move towards them but then the stun gun was pressed up against Danny’s other side and she froze again.

 

“I will not kill him, but that doesn’t mean I won’t hurt him,” Gao said. “You will find it in Mr. Rand’s best interest to behave yourself, just as he will find it in _your_ best interest for him to behave himself.”

 

Colleen glared at her, clearly enraged, but didn’t fight it when the attendant stepped forward and locked her wrists into the manacles.

 

“W-where are you taking her?” Danny gasped in alarm as the attendant gripped Colleen’s elbow and started to lead her from the room.

 

“There is no cause for alarm, Mr. Rand,” Gao said. “Guests are accorded every hospitality, as long as they behave. She will not be harmed.”

 

“That’s rich, considering what you just did,” Colleen sneered, yanking on her elbow to halt her progress from the room. “Danny’s your ‘guest’, too, right? What about what Davos did to him? What he’ll do again? You don’t consider that ‘harm’?”

 

Danny looked away, his stomach twisting and his face flushing with shame.

 

“Their personal matters are none of my concern,” Gao sniffed.

 

Colleen stared at her for a moment, her eyes narrowing.

 

“You… you _want_ Davos to hurt him, don’t you?” she said slowly. “This is all part of that ‘touched by fire’ crap from your prophecy. You want him to be hurt and suffering and desperate. It’s what all these head games have been about. You believe it’ll make him easier to manipulate and control. Maybe you’re even hoping that he’ll become so desperate he’ll turn to you, agreeing to cooperate if you’ll keep Davos away from him.”

 

Danny looked at Gao in shock, his heart skipping a beat in his chest. Could… could Colleen be right? His stomach twisted with dread at the thought.

 

However, Gao merely smiled enigmatically.

 

“Have a good evening, Ms. Wing,” she said. Colleen glared at her, but offered no further protest as the attendant resumed pulling her from the room.

 

“I love you, Danny. Everything’s going to be okay,” she called out just before they disappeared out the door.

 

“Is she right?” Davos demanded once they were gone. “Would you back out on our bargain if it meant Danny agreed to join you in exchange?”

 

“Do you doubt me, Davos?” Gao said, and Danny detected a note of something dangerous in her usually placid voice. Davos seemed to detect it, too, his eyes narrowing and his spine straightening as he regarded her silently for a moment.

 

“No,” he finally replied. “But I will not be trifled with and our bargain will _not_ be renegotiated. Danny’s power will be yours to use whenever you want it but _he_ belongs to _me._ He will stay by my side, _always.”_

 

“Of course,” Gao said, her placid, inscrutable smile back in place.

 

She’s playing with him, Danny realized, his eyes widening. Colleen _was_ right, at least to some extent. Somehow or another, this was all a part of her plan, and Davos was too obsessed, too focused on _him_ to realize it.

 

“You just be sure to do your part and make sure young Mr. Rand is properly looked after,” Gao continued. “If he were to regain the use of his chi before the appropriate time it would be… unfortunate.”

 

Davos nodded, reaching into his pocket and pulling out another syringe.

 

“No… don’t,” Danny said, panic seizing him at the sight of it. He had just begun to feel the effects begin to fade, though he was still very weak. The attendant behind him, the one who’d used the stun gun on him, came forward again to hold him while Davos once again used rubber tubing to tie off his arm and inject him with the drug. Danny tried to pull away, cursing under his breath, but it was embarassingly easy for them to hold him still.

 

He closed his eyes with a moan as the initial, disorienting wave washed through him again, feeling all the more potent due to the lingering traces of his last dose.

 

“I thought you said this was supposed to make him more amenable, not just weak and unable to summon his chi,” Davos said, his voice sounding far away. “He still refused you.”

 

“And how much more… _excitable_ and argumentative do you think he would have been during our conversation without it?” Gao laughed. “He finally believed I was telling the truth about his mother. I am not concerned. It is only a matter of time before he sees things our way, I assure you.”

 

The next thing Danny knew Davos had him on his feet again, his arm around Danny’s waist as he supported most of his weight. It was even harder for him to walk than it had been before, his knees feeling like they could give way at any moment. He did, however, notice that they seemed to be taking a different route than before.

 

“Where… where are we going?” he managed to ask, his words slurring a little. His head felt fuzzier than it had before, his tongue thick and heavy in his mouth. Maybe the bit of wine he’d had with dinner was exacerbating the effects of the drug as well.

 

“My room,” Davos said. Danny blinked at him and then started to struggle in earnest, trying to dig his heels in though Davos had no trouble pulling him along anyway.

 

“No, I… I don’t want to,” Danny said, a prickle of alarm traveling down his spine. “Take… take me back to… to the other room.”

 

“If I take you back there, then you’ll have to be strapped down again,” Davos said, smirking. “Is that really what you want?”

 

Danny blinked at him again, trying to pull his thoughts together. Be strapped down like at Birch or… or be drugged and helpless and _alone_ with Davos? Both options were… were _horrific_ to contemplate, but the choice was still obvious.

 

“I don’t want to go with you,” Danny reiterated. “I don’t want… I don’t want _you.”_

 

The smirk melted from Davos’ face and he started pulling Danny along more harshly, making him stumble and almost fall.

 

“Too bad,” he snarled. “You don’t have a choice in the matter.”

 

“And you keep saying I can trust you,” Danny muttered, dread curdling in his stomach.

 

“I’m doing what’s _best_ for you, Danny,” Davos said. “You may not realize it now, but you will.”

 

Danny remained silent the rest of the way. It wasn’t worth the effort of speaking when Davos wouldn’t listen to him anyway. Instead he concentrated on keeping his breathing calm and even. Despite the languid effects of the drug he could feel panic threatening to encroach on his mind and he had to focus on keeping it at bay. It wouldn’t help, wouldn’t make any difference in what… in what he _knew_ was going to happen….

 

When they finally arrived after traveling through what seemed like a labyrinth of hallways, Davos dropped Danny unceremoniously to sit on the side of the bed before returning to the door and locking it. It was a deadbolt, Danny noted. He wouldn’t be able to open it even from the inside without the key.

 

Davos turned back towards him and for a moment he simply stood there, regarding Danny with an intense stare. Then he started moving towards him like a lion stalking its prey.

 

Danny swallowed back the sudden lump in his throat, a cold sweat breaking out all over his body. He knew that he didn’t have the strength to fight him, and had no doubt that Davos would ignore any protest he made.

 

He was completely helpless.

 

“Colleen is right, you know,” he said, desperate to distract Davos from the intent he could see in his eyes. “One way or another, Gao is just using you. You can’t trust her.”

 

“I have Gao well in hand,” Davos said, stopping in front of Danny and reaching up to stroke his face. His lip curled into a snarl when Danny pulled away, shuddering. “As long as you’re mine she needs me to access your power. And I won’t allow anyone, let alone her, to take you away from me.”

 

“You’re a fool,” Danny muttered.

 

He’d already fallen over onto his side before it registered that he’d been hit, a brutal backhand to his face. The pain rushed in a moment later, sharp enough even through the effects of the drug to make him wonder if Davos had cracked his cheekbone. He looked up dazedly to meet eyes gone black with rage.

 

“Time for another lesson,” Davos snarled.

 

TBC

 


	37. Claire

The first thing that registered in Claire’s mind as she started to drift awake was the smell, something bitter but strangely sweet at the same time. She wrinkled her nose and rubbed her aching head, wincing as her fingers came in contact with a spot of tenderness at her temple.

 

Her eyes shot open as memory suddenly came flooding back in.

 

Someone had been at the door, and they had sprayed Luke with something that had made him stumble and fall. And then people in security guard uniforms had come rushing in. She’d barely had time to scream before a nightstick had been swinging at her head and blackness had descended.

 

“L-Luke?” she gasped, trying to sit up. A rush of dizziness forced her to pause for a moment, nausea roiling in her stomach. “Luke?” she called again, more frantically.

 

She felt a palpable rush of relief when she spotted him, still lying on the floor by the door where he’d fallen, but it was short-lived as she took in how still he was. She crawled towards him, not trusting herself to stand just yet, not with the way the room was swimming around her.

 

“Oh, thank God,” she said after reaching him and noting the subtle but definitely present rise and fall of his chest. He was breathing. “Luke, honey, please, can you hear me?” she prompted, shaking him gently. He didn’t move. She felt his pulse. It was slow but steady. He was well and truly out but he didn’t seem to be in immediate danger.

 

But… why knock them out and then just leave them?

 

And where were…? Her heart thundered in her chest with renewed panic.

 

“Danny! Colleen!” she yelled, climbing shakily to her feet. She made her way unsteadily down the hallway, coughing and covering her mouth upon finding the bitter smell was even stronger down there. In Danny and Colleen’s bedroom a thin haze still clung to the air.

 

And there was no sign of Danny or Colleen. They were gone.

 

“Oh, God, no,” Claire moaned.

 

It had to have been Gao and Davos.

 

They… they’d _taken_ Danny and Colleen.

 

Cold fear threatened to overtake her but she forced it back.

 

She had to focus. Her family needed her.

 

Claire stumbled back out to the kitchen, grabbing her phone off the counter before falling back to her knees beside Luke. She dialled Jessica with one hand while giving Luke’s shoulder a shake with the other. He groaned a little, making her heart leap into her throat, but showed no other sign of waking. Whatever had been used to knock him out had been strong. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed but she had a feeling that it had already been a little while. She tried not to panic as her heart raced, thinking of how much of a head start the kidnappers might have already had.

 

“Hey, Claire,” Jessica answered. “We were just on our way back, there was no one home at the nanny’s place. Something up?”

 

“The penthouse was attacked,” Claire said quickly. “Luke and I were just knocked out but Danny and Colleen are gone. They’ve… they’ve been taken.”

 

 _“What?”_ Jessica cried out after a moment of stunned silence. “Jesus Christ! Are you guys okay?”

 

“They sprayed some kind of gas in Luke’s face to knock him out, he’s still unconscious,” Claire said anxiously. “I think they must have used the same stuff on Danny and Colleen, their room reeks of it. Lucky me, I think I just have a concussion.”

 

“Fucking hell,” Jessica muttered. “How long ago did this happen?”

 

“I’m not sure exactly,” Claire said. “I think after I was knocked out the gas in the air likely kept me unconscious for longer than normal, too. But it wasn’t all that long after you guys left, though.”

 

“Jesus, that was… almost an hour ago,” Jessica said. She barked something to someone in the background, possibly the Rand driver. “We’ll be there as soon as possible. Just... do what you can for Luke right now. I assume you’d know better than anyone if you or he needed an ambulance or something?”

 

“I’m okay,” Claire said. Her head still ached and she was a little groggy but it was manageable. “Luke’s pulse is steady. I just… I just need him to wake up,” she added, not able to give voice to how terribly alone she felt just then, though Jessica seemed to sense it.

 

“Matt and I will be there soon,” she reiterated. “In the meantime I’m going to call Ward. He and Joy need to know what’s happened and he can get me access to the building’s security cameras. God, I fucking hope we can find a lead on where they went.”

 

“They were wearing security guard uniforms,” Claire remembered. “It’s likely why Luke opened the door.” She eyed the door then, suddenly noticing with a curl of unease that it was still standing open a few inches.

 

“Make sure the door is shut and locked,” Jessica said, as if reading her mind. “They could still be around. Clearly Rand security needs a serious overhaul.”

 

“Okay, just… just get here soon,” Claire said, as she rose unsteadily to her feet again to go shut and lock the door. It felt like a fairly impotent gesture considering what had already happened.

 

 _Having security around doesn’t count for much when they’ve infiltrated it,_ she thought bitterly.

 

“C’mon, baby,” Claire said as she knelt next to Luke again. “Please wake up.” She wasn’t sure how long she sat there gently shaking him and pleading with him but finally his eyelids started to flutter. “Oh, thank God!” she cried, the rush of relief she felt almost taking her breath away.

 

“C-Claire?” he said groggily, blinking up at her. Then he quickly started to struggle to sit up straight, almost falling over in his haste. “Are you okay, are you hurt?” he asked frantically, his hand hovering over her temple where she suspected she had a fine bruise coming in.

 

“I’m okay,” she said.

 

“The others?” Luke asked, as he hurriedly climbed to his feet, swaying a little. She rose along with him, a hand on his arm for support, though who was supporting who she couldn’t have said.

 

“Danny and Colleen are missing,” she said, tears pricking at her eyes. She’d been focusing on Luke, trying not to think about how scared she was for them. But she _was_ scared. She was _terrified._ “I’m not sure exactly how long it’s been, but probably over an hour. I came to a little bit ago. I called Jessica. She and Matt should be here soon. She’s calling Ward and alerting Rand security.”

 

Luke blinked at her for a moment, seemingly taking it all in, before his face crumpled in anguish.

 

“Goddamnit!” he yelled, slamming a fist down onto the island counter hard enough to knock a sizable chunk of the corner off, sending it shattering onto the floor.

 

“Luke!” Claire cried, jumping in shock. He leaned over the counter, his shoulders shaking as he struggled to get his emotions under control. She approached cautiously, putting a hand on his arm.

 

“How could this have happened?” he asked shakily.

 

“They must have infiltrated security somehow,” Claire said. “They were wearing the same uniforms as the other guards in the building. And whatever they sprayed you with that knocked you out like that, they must have used the same on Danny and Colleen, their room reeks of it. They… they really came prepared to take down powered people quickly, that’s for sure.”

 

“This… this is the second damned time I’ve been drugged and woke to find Danny gone,” Luke said, his fists clenching.

 

“It’s not your fault,” Claire said softly. She wrapped her arms around him and he turned to return the embrace. They clung to each other desperately. “They knew what they were doing. Being drugged like that is pretty much your only weakness, and that gas would have taken out anyone, I’d say.”

 

They both jumped as there was a banging on the door.

 

“It’s me!” they heard Matt call. Claire hurried over to let him in.

 

“Where’s Jessica?” she asked.

 

“We got here at the same time as Ward,” Matt explained. “She stayed with him to deal with the security downstairs. Ward’s… freaking out a bit. He’s bringing in security from an outside firm with no connection to Rand and therefore, hopefully, no connection to the Hand.”

 

“Probably a good idea,” Claire said.

 

“Are you guys sure you’re okay?” Matt asked. He wrinkled his nose, and she could only imagine how strong the lingering smell of the gas was to him.

 

“We’re fine,” Claire said. “We need to focus on finding Danny and Colleen.”

 

“Davos,” Luke said through gritted teeth. “The Hand. This… this was him following through on that threat, it had to be.”

 

“Hard to imagine who else it could have been,” Claire agreed. God, just the thought of Davos getting his hands on them… she couldn’t help but shudder.

 

“How do we even begin to look for them?” Luke asked. “We had no leads yet on where Davos relocated to after the Lotte.”

 

“Jessica wants to check the security footage first,” Matt said.

 

“Isn’t that a bit of a long shot?” Luke asked unhappily. “These guys aren’t amateurs and they were prepared. Do you think they’d be sloppy enough to give something away on camera?”

 

“It’s worth a try, though, isn’t it?” Claire asked anxiously. Her heart thudded painfully in her chest.

 

They had to find them. They _had_ to.

 

“It’s definitely worth a try,” Matt stated firmly. “I know we’re all… upset. People we love are missing and we feel helpless without a plan of action. Trust me, I know.” Claire didn’t doubt it. He sounded calm enough but she could see the tense set of his jaw, the way he was gripping his cane so tightly his knuckles were white.

 

“Maybe we should have done more to stop Danny from texting Davos, or… or maybe we shouldn’t have tried to stop him in the first place, then Davos wouldn’t have gotten mad…,” Luke said, frowning.

 

“You can’t start with the what-ifs,” Claire said gently. “That way lies madness. It’s not your fault or Danny’s fault for texting him or anything like that. Maybe this _is_ Davos following through on that threat he texted. But if he hadn’t had that to use as an excuse, it would have been something else.”

 

“You’re probably right,” Luke said with a sigh, running a hand over his face wearily.

 

“Speaking of… what about their phones?” Matt asked. “Danny and Colleen’s, I mean?”

 

“I still have Danny’s,” Luke said, patting his pocket to confirm.

 

“Colleen’s is probably in the bedroom,” Claire said, going to check. She returned with it in hand, having found it on the night table. “It doesn’t really matter, though, right? The Hand know all about using phone GPS to track people and stuff. They wouldn’t be that sloppy, even if Danny and Colleen still had the phones on them.”

 

“What about the calls and texts from Davos?” Matt asked. “Maybe Jess has a tech contact than can trace a blocked number?”

 

“Maybe Jess has a what now?” Jessica asked, coming in with Ward close behind her.

 

“A shady tech contact that could trace the blocked number Davos was using,” Matt repeated.

 

“I know a guy,” Jessica said, nodding. “Don’t know if he can do _that,_ exactly, but there doesn’t seem to be much he _can’t_ do when it comes to phones. I take it Danny’s phone is still here?”

 

Luke nodded, pulling it out of his pocket. He made a motion like he was about to hand it to her but then he paused, frowning.

 

“Maybe… maybe _we_ should call _him,”_ he said slowly.

 

“Us? Call Davos?” Claire asked. “But… he’d know it wasn’t Danny. He probably wouldn’t even answer, and even if he did, it’s not like he’d actually tell us where he is.”

 

“He _would_ answer, he’d want to gloat,” Luke said bitterly. “But we might be able to trick him into revealing something if we got him talking, like Danny was suggesting this morning.”

 

“Might not be a bad idea,” Matt said. “If nothing else it could give us an idea as to his current state of mind.”

 

“His current state of mind is _batshit crazy,”_ Jessica muttered. “Just about anything is probably worth a try at this point, but let me talk to my phone guy, first. We don’t want to tip Davos off that his phone could be a liability if we can actually use it to find out something useful.” Luke nodded in agreement, passing her the phone. She walked away from them, pulling out her own phone and starting to dial.

 

“Were you able to find anything out from security?” Claire asked a rather harried-looking Ward.

 

“Not much,” he replied, running a hand through his hair. “The guard on duty in the security office doesn’t seem to be Hand, but he did confess to being generously paid off to turn the security cameras off for a ten-minute window.”

 

“He confessed? That quickly?” Luke asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

“Well, your friend Jessica is pretty freaking scary when she’s angry,” Ward said, sounding impressed. “The guy folded like a cheap suit after she questioned him for barely thirty seconds. Could have something to do with the hole she punched in his desk,” he added, eyeing the chunk of kitchen counter that was on the floor.

 

“So there’s no footage of the attackers?” Claire asked in dismay.

 

“Not exactly, but luckily the guy’s an idiot as well as an incompetent security guard,” Ward replied. “He forgot the camera outside in the alley by the rear service entrance. It wasn’t fully in the frame but we saw a black SUV arrive and then a woman and three men dressed as guards entered the building, then shortly after they come back carrying two unconscious people with their heads covered.” He paused, swallowing. Claire imagined with a pang that it hadn’t been an easy thing to see, knowing it was Danny and Colleen and that they were still in danger. “We got a partial license plate for the SUV and halfway decent shots of the faces of the woman and one of the men. The new security firm I hired is working on trying to ID them. The others never faced the camera well enough to get a good shot, though one of them looked like it could have been Davos.”

 

“If they were coming to get Danny he would have wanted to see to it personally,” Luke growled.

 

“What about the guard who was paid off?” Matt asked.

 

“It was an anonymous cash drop, but it was arranged through email days ago, he was just to wait for a signal to know when it was time,” Ward said. “I have someone in cybersecurity at Rand trying to trace it, but that’s likely a dead end.”

 

“A partial license plate and two unidentified faces isn’t much to go on,” Luke said, clenching his fists in frustration.

 

“Better than nothing,” Ward said with a sigh. “Just… what exactly happened, anyway? You guys are really okay?” he asked, looking at Claire’s bruised temple.

 

“We’re okay, just… worried,” Claire said. “They were prepared. They knew how to take out powered people quickly and efficiently with that gas.”

 

“If they already had the guard lined up to be signalled to turn the cameras off, then it was planned well in advance,” Matt mused. “They could have just been waiting for the right time.”

 

“Or there was a larger plan and Davos got mad and set the plan in motion early,” Luke said sourly. Claire reached out to rub his arm, knowing how responsible he felt.

 

“Look… at what point do we get the police involved?” Ward asked. _“Should_ we get them involved?”

 

“Getting the police involved where the Hand is concerned is always dicey,” Matt said, frowning. “And with the media circus already going on around Danny’s mental health, if it got out that he’d been kidnapped…. Considering how unlikely it is that the police would actually be able to help, I would say it should probably be a last resort.”

 

Claire couldn’t help but shudder a little, not wanting to think of them reaching a point of having to go with their last resort.

 

Jessica returned to the kitchen, her call finished.

 

“Okay, Luke, it looks like you get to call Davos after all,” she declared.

 

“What did your tech guy say?” Matt asked.

 

“I gave him all the info from Danny’s phone, the IMEI, the SIM number, all that stuff, and he’s going to work whatever hacker voodoo he does to see what he can find out,” Jessica said. “But he said that if we can get Davos talking on an active call that would be the easiest for him to try to trace right now.”

 

“I don’t think I want to know how it is that you came to know so many shady characters that can do stuff like that or that CCTV camera thing,” Claire said, arching an eyebrow. “But boy am I ever glad that you _do_ know them.”

 

“Well, he couldn’t promise anything, naturally,” Jessica said, frowning. Claire could see how agitated she was in the set of her shoulders. “And for a bunch of mystical ninjas you guys have said that these Hand guys are pretty technically savvy. They could have countermeasures to tracing in place on their own end.”

 

“Davos is arrogant, though, and has only recently joined the Hand,” Matt said thoughtfully. “It wouldn’t surprise me if he was using his own phone, not one the Hand provided.”

 

“Let’s hope,” Jessica said. “So you going to be the one to do this?” she asked, holding Danny’s phone out towards Luke. He nodded, accepting it from her.

 

“I’ll put it on speaker, though, so we can all hear,” he said.

 

“If he even answers, just try to keep him talking for as long as you can,” Jessica said. Then she paused, chewing her bottom lip for a moment. “And… this is going to sound pretty rich coming from me, but… maybe try not to antagonize him too much.”

 

“Right,” Luke said grimly. “We… we don’t want Danny or Colleen to pay the price for us getting him angry.”

 

No one had anything to say to that, though Claire could see from the dismayed looks on everyone’s faces that they were all thinking the same thing.

 

How much damage had Davos _already_ done to them? How much more would he do before they found them, whether they angered him more or not?

 

She grimaced, feeling sick all the way down to her bones.

 

Luke set the phone on the counter and pulled up the contacts, hitting Davos’ name. They all waited with baited breath as it rang twice, and then the line was answered.

 

“Well, then,” Davos’ voice drawled, sounding far too pleased with himself. Claire’s lip curled and she saw the others shifting in reaction as well. Tension practically crackled in the air around them. “Since I know Danny is currently… _indisposed,_ this must be one of his little friends.”

 

“Where are Danny and Colleen?” Luke asked, his voice vibrating with barely restrained anger.

 

“Sure, let me just give you the address, and maybe some directions while I’m at it,” Davos replied mockingly.

 

“What have you done to them?” Luke demanded.

 

“I’ve done nothing to that useless whore,” Davos sneered. Then his voice turned sly and cloying. “But I couldn’t resist spending some time with Danny getting… _reacquainted.”_

 

There was no mistaking the insinuation he was making.

 

Jessica’s face was dark and thunderous, and she suddenly turned and stalked away a few feet, wrapping her arms around herself, her posture ramrod straight. Matt followed, putting a hand on her shoulder that Claire was a little surprised she didn’t shake off.

 

For her own part, nausea was twisting through her stomach with renewed vigour, making her feel a little faint. Ward’s face had gone ashen and Luke was clenching and unclenching his fists, clearly struggling to remain in control.

 

“If… if you’ve hurt him, you’re going to regret it,” Luke finally managed to grind out through clenched teeth.

 

“Am I?” Davos laughed, and Claire didn’t think she’d ever hated anyone quite so much as she found herself hating that smug bastard in that moment, the force of it nearly taking her breath away.

 

“You will. If it’s the last thing I do before I die, I’ll make you regret hurting him, I promise you,” Luke said, his voice deadly serious enough to send a shiver down Claire’s spine.

 

“I only hurt him as much as he makes me,” Davos said, his voice dripping with obvious amusement at tormenting them. “I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how _stubborn_ he can be. Haha, maybe deep down he _likes_ to be punished. Who can say?”

 

“You son of a bitch!” Luke barked, slamming his fist down and sending another chunk of counter crashing to the floor. Davos only laughed in response.

 

“Why did you take Colleen?” Matt jumped in to ask, turning back towards them though he kept his hand on Jessica’s shoulder. Luke shot him a grateful look. Claire imagined he was having a harder time controlling himself with Davos than he’d anticipated, and felt another shiver of unease at the thought of what he might do to him in person if given the chance.

 

“Ah, another of Danny’s little friends,” Davos said mockingly. “It’s Gao who is interested in her, not me.”

 

“And Luke and Claire? Why not take them? And… and why leave them alive, if you didn’t want them?” Matt asked. Claire grimaced. It was a thought she hadn’t been able to shake herself, though she hadn’t given voice to it.

 

She and Luke had been completely helpless. They easily could have been killed, especially her. But they’d been left alive.

 

“Again, that was Gao’s wish,” Davos sniffed dismissively, apparently not caring how much he was revealing to them. He really was an arrogant son of a bitch, Claire thought darkly. “She seems to believe you all still have some role to play. I care not for the details. Danny is mine again, that’s all that matters.”

 

“He doesn’t belong to you,” Luke growled.

 

“He does,” Davos bit back, ice creeping into his tone. “I always knew it was my destiny to possess the Iron Fist, and now I do, if not in the manner I had originally envisioned. The Fist belongs to me, and _Danny_ belongs to me. He has since we were children and he always will. Now, as amusing as this conversation is, Danny and I are going to be late for dinner.”

 

And with that the connection ended.

 

“Son of a bitch,” Ward breathed, looking shaken. “He’s… he’s really a piece of work, isn’t he?”

 

“That’s one way of putting it,” Claire sighed. For all that the call hadn’t actually lasted all that long, she suddenly felt exhausted.

 

“Messed up personal history, huh?” Ward said, eyeing her as he repeated the words she’d said to him the day before while attempting to explain Davos’ interest in Danny. She grimaced again, nodding in acknowledgement. “You think… you think he’s… assaulting him?” Ward continued uncomfortably, clearly not wanting to be more specific.

 

“We fucking _know_ he’s _assaulting_ him,” Jessica sneered, turning back to them. She looked pale and shaken but there was a look of steely determination on her face. “We all know exactly what kind of danger that bastard poses to Danny.”

 

“If it hasn’t already happened like… like he implied it did, then it’s only a matter of time,” Claire said bleakly, swallowing back the sudden lump in her throat.

 

“Jesus,” Ward muttered, running a hand over his pale face wearily. “Any luck with the trace?”

 

“Just getting a text now,” Jessica said, looking at her phone. “He only managed a partial trace, narrowing it down to an area in Queens. The signal was coming from somewhere in the Forest Hills or Rego Park neighbourhoods.”

 

“Lots of nice, big houses in those neighbourhoods,” Matt remarked. “Ideal for Gao and the Hand to have some privacy.”

 

“But they’re big neighbourhoods, too,” Luke said in dismay.

 

“At this point I’m not opposed to just hitting the streets and hoping to get lucky by hearing something,” Matt said, frowning. “Even with my range it would take a long time to cover the whole area and there’s no guarantee, but… I can’t just sit here twiddling my thumbs waiting for another lead. What we _know_ Davos wants to do is bad enough, but _anything_ could be happening to them. We have to try.”

 

“Sounds good to me,” Jessica said, nodding. “I can keep an eye out for the partial license plate or the faces we pulled from the security footage. Hell, if we’re really lucky Gao or Davos might show their face at the right time.”

 

“I’ll send out security people from the new firm to comb for the license plate and faces, too,” Ward said, pulling his phone out of his coat pocket. “It’s a long shot, but better than nothing.”

 

“So we’re just going to patrol the streets? That’s the plan?” Luke asked, raising an eyebrow.

 

“You got a better one?” Jessica practically snarled.

 

“No, no, I’m sorry, you’re right,” Luke said, holding up his hands in a placating gesture. “I guess… I guess there really isn’t anything else we can do unless one of the other leads pans out. If this is the plan then I’m on board. Let’s go to Queens.”

 

“Actually, maybe you and Claire should stay here and get some rest,” Matt suggested.

 

“Absolutely not, I’m coming, too,” Luke said adamantly. “Danny was taken on _my_ watch, _again._ And like you said, anything could be happening to them. They need us.” He looked at Claire, frowning a little. “I agree that you should get some rest, though. You took a pretty bad blow to the head. Though I don’t really like the idea of leaving you here alone….”

 

“I’ll stay,” Ward said. “I don’t think I’d be all that useful out on the street and… and I don’t think I could focus on anything else until I know Danny and Colleen are safe. I can coordinate things with the security firm from here, see if we can’t get some more info on those other leads that could narrow things down more.”

 

Claire frowned, not really liking the idea of being left behind. She was just as scared and worried as the others, and no more keen on the idea of sitting around twiddling her thumbs as any of them were. But she couldn’t deny that her head was still aching and she still felt a little woozy. She’d be useless to everyone if she pushed herself too hard and ended up passing out.

 

“Okay,” she agreed reluctantly. “Thanks, Ward.” At least she wouldn’t be twiddling her thumbs alone.

 

Luke pulled her into his arms and she clung to him desperately for a moment.

 

“We’ll find them,” Luke said fervently. “We will.”

 

“I know,” she said, her heart clenching in her chest. “Just… all of you keep in touch, okay? Check in regularly whether you’ve found something or not.”

 

They agreed, and after Matt ducked into his and Jessica’s room to retrieve the duffel with his Daredevil costume, the three of them headed out.

 

 _Please God,_ **_please_ ** _let them find them quickly,_ Claire prayed desperately. _Before Davos does too much damage._

 

TBC

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I feel like this chapter is... not good. Sorry? ^^;;; And yeah, I am totally bullshitting how tracing phones works. XD


	38. Danny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is now officially over a year old. It's kind of blowing my mind. ^^

When Danny woke up the next morning he was alone in the room.

 

He jerked in panic, half-expecting to find himself strapped down again, but he wasn’t restrained. The sudden movement, however, did make him gasp in pain.

 

He _hurt._ He hurt _everywhere._

 

Davos had… had been _angry_ last night. Angry and all too eager to glory in how much power he had over him.

 

It… it had been a _very_ long night.

 

For a moment all Danny could manage to do was to lie there staring at the ceiling, trying to catch his breath, and feeling… feeling sharp and brittle and hollowed out.

 

He realized he was trembling a little and clenched his fists in frustration.

 

It didn’t matter. He was… he was _fine._

 

A… a little _battered_ maybe….

 

Well, a _lot_ battered, really, but physical injuries were nothing to a warrior. His face ached and his lip was split and swollen and he suspected his ribs were cracked. There were… were _other_ injuries, too, but his mind veered away from thinking about those. But in the grand scheme of things they were all rather minor injuries, though. He’d been hurt worse in training, plenty worse. He would be _fine._

 

He realized it must have been hours since he’d last been drugged and instinctively he reached for the power of the Fist. He was disappointed but not terribly surprised to find that it only responded a little, slow and sluggish and feeling far away. It would be awhile yet before he could actually use it. He tried not to think of how Davos was likely going to return to drug him again long before that happened.

 

He tried not to think of _Davos,_ and of what else he might do when he returned.

 

It was a hard thought to avoid, though, as he gingerly sat up, trying not to cry out at the sharp agony in his ribs, at the throbbing pain in… in other places. Flashes of images from the night before tried to intrude into his mind but he forced them away with everything he had.

 

It… it wasn’t important. He was _okay._

 

Just as he’d had worse injuries in training, he and Davos had… had had sex plenty of times before. He hadn’t… hadn’t done anything last night that he hadn’t done before, not… not _technically._

 

It wasn’t worth getting upset over any more than… than what had happened the previous afternoon, when he’d still been mostly unconscious.

 

He _hadn’t_ been mostly unconscious last night, though, the thought sending a rippling shudder through his mind. The peculiar not-quite fog of the drug had left him fully, painfully aware… even as it had altered his perception and made his thoughts feel as intangible as smoke. It had added a nightmarish, surrealistic dimension to everything that had happened.

 

He shuddered again, static trying to push in. There was a tightness in his chest that had nothing to do with his injured ribs.

 

It was still okay, though. _He_ was still okay. After all, what he’d thought yesterday was still true. No matter how… _unpleasant_ it might have been, it had still just… just been a few more times amongst many.

 

But… but it hadn’t ever been that… that _violent_ before, either. Davos had been... _rough_ sometimes, sure. Sometimes _really_ rough. But it hadn’t ever been Davos’ obvious and explicit intention to… to _hurt_ him before, to try to make him _scream._

 

Danny had refused to give him the satisfaction.

 

It had only made him angrier.

 

Static forcefully rushed in all around him and when he suddenly found himself blinking back to groggy awareness he realized he must have blanked out for a bit.

 

But he was okay. Everything was going to be _okay._

 

So it had been… had been particularly violent. It still didn’t matter. He was a warrior. He wasn’t scared of violence.

 

 _“You know it was more than just that that made it different,”_ Davos’ voice whispered.

 

Danny flinched, looking around quickly as his heart leapt into his throat, but he was still alone.

 

He… he suddenly wanted to have a shower. _Needed_ to have a shower.

 

Fortunately the room had an ensuite bath. He climbed unsteadily to his feet on legs that barely wanted to support him, wincing as his various injuries protested the movement and ignoring the way his hands were still trembling a little. He grabbed a sheet off the bed to wrap around himself despite the fact that it was stained with blood and… and other things, because for whatever reason he couldn’t bring himself to cross the room naked. He wasn’t really sure what had happened to his clothes, but knowing he’d want to get dressed after he showered he looked around for them. There was no sign of his own, but he found plain t-shirts and sweatpants that looked as if they would fit him in the dresser drawers. Gathering some up he headed into the bathroom, determinedly not thinking about how painful even walking that short distance was with the burning discomfort between his legs. He closed the door behind him, turning the little lock instinctively, though of course it would do nothing to keep Davos out if he wanted in.

 

Davos, who could return at any moment.

 

Danny felt a rushing sweep of vertigo, suddenly feeling cold right down to his bones.

 

He… he didn’t want to still be naked when Davos came back.

 

 _“Why?”_ Davos’ voice laughed, and Danny flinched so hard he dropped the pile of clothes. _“Do you think that really matters at this point?”_

 

He… he was right, of course. It probably didn’t really matter.

 

But it didn’t lessen the urgency he was feeling. He would get _clean,_ and then he would get _dressed,_ and then… and then he would deal with whatever happened next. He just needed to focus on one thing at a time and everything would be _fine._ He carefully leaned down to retrieve the clothes from the floor and set them on the counter.

 

When he looked up he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror and he froze.

 

It… it looked bad.

 

Danny gingerly touched his swollen cheek, hissing a little. There was a gash surrounded by livid purple bruising, and he was more sure than ever that the cheekbone was likely cracked. There was another large gash on his temple and the rest of his face was a mess of darkening bruises and smaller cuts and gashes and his bottom lip was scabbed and swollen.

 

As for the rest of him….

 

Red and purple bruises blossomed like flowers over his limbs and torso, already darkening to black in some places, like over the sharp agony in his ribs. Angry red and blue marks showed where fingers had gripped his wrists, his throat, his hips….

 

He almost looked like he’d gone ten rounds in a tournament. And lost. Badly.

 

Except these injuries hadn’t come from a tournament.

 

You didn’t… you didn’t get finger-shaped marks on your hips in a tournament.

 

Davos had done this to him. Not in training. Not in a fair fight. While… while….

 

Static rushed in again, and Danny found himself having to grip the edges of the sink to remain on his feet, suddenly finding it hard to breathe.

 

_“You’re mine, Danny. This is where you belong, where you’re meant to be.”_

 

The ghost of Davos’ voice, panting into his ear as he’d… he’d....

 

_“How many lessons is it going to take before you accept your place?”_

 

Hands grabbing him, twisting him around, _forcing_ him to… to….

 

_“I know you want this. You know you want it, too, just admit it.”_

 

With a choked off yell Danny drove his fist into the mirror, shattering it.

 

He _hadn’t_ wanted it. He hadn’t _ever_ wanted it. Not with Davos.

 

And it hadn’t… hadn’t ever been so clear before that… that he hadn’t had a _choice._

 

Maybe he’d been manipulated before, back in K’un Lun, but he’d still had a _choice…_ hadn’t he? At least he could tell himself he had. But he definitely hadn’t had a choice last night.

 

Davos had done what he wanted, and Danny hadn’t been able to stop him, not with the drug sapping the strength from his limbs. No matter how hard he’d tried.

 

 _“Now you realize it, don’t you?”_ Davos’ voice said, practically purring the words.

 

It… it hadn’t _just_ been that it had been violent that made it different from all the other times, that had made it _worse._

 

Danny had tried to fight back. Had made it clear that he didn’t want it.

 

And it had happened anyway.

 

Davos had drugged him and beaten him and… and _raped_ him. Again and again. For hours, it had felt like. And he’d been helpless to stop any of it.

 

And Davos could come back and do it again any time he wanted.

 

Danny stared down at the shards of shattered glass in the sink, some of them dotted with blood. He’d sliced his knuckles open when he’d hit it, but he was barely aware of the new pain, static rushing all around him, his heart hammering in his chest and a cold sweat having broken out all over his body.

 

It would be so easy to take one of those shards and just... slice his wrist open.

 

Then Davos would never be able to touch him again. He’d never have to _feel_ like this again.

 

Stained. Dirty. Violated by someone he’d loved.

 

But… but then he’d be leaving Colleen behind, alone with the Hand.

 

And he’d be leaving the others behind, too. They were looking for them, he knew they were. And sooner or later they _would_ find them.

 

He had to pull himself together. For Colleen. For Luke and Claire and Matt and Jessica. For Ward and Joy, too.

 

Last night _had_ been different from the other times. But that _still_ didn’t mean he could fall apart. He was still a warrior of K’un Lun. He could handle it. He _would_ handle it. The plan hadn’t changed. He would get clean, he would get dressed, and then he would deal with whatever happened next.

 

Shakily, feeling a little bit like he was floating in a murky, surreal dream, he stepped away from the sink and turned on the shower.

 

He lost time again while he was in the shower. One moment he’d looked down and seen red swirling down the drain, some of the blood from his sliced knuckles and some… not, and the next he’d just been standing there staring dazedly at the tile, the water running noticeably cooler.

 

After that he’d finished up quickly, drying himself and getting dressed as fast as his aching body would let him. He wrapped a washcloth around his injured hand so that he wouldn’t bleed all over the place. He’d checked under the sink and in the cabinet for a first aid kit but hadn’t found one. The cloth would have to do.

 

Danny eyed the broken shards of mirror that still lay where they’d fallen, mostly in the sink but some on the counter and floor as well, feeling a curl of shame at his emotional outburst. He needed to be stronger if he was going to get through this. No more angry explosions, no more blanking out. He had to try to keep it together, not just for his sake but for Colleen’s, too.

 

Thinking about it then, he couldn’t help but wonder how it was that he hadn’t had some kind of… _episode_ last night, while it had actually been happening. Claire had called them dissociative seizures. If ever there had been a time when blanking out for awhile would have been a _good_ thing….

 

He shuddered, pushing the thought away.

 

One of the strange effects of the drug, maybe? It certainly had a very peculiar effect on his mind, with the way it made his perception shift in and out of sharper focus and made his thoughts hard to hang on to. Was it possible that it actually prevented the seizures from happening, at least when it was at full strength? Both yesterday and today, it had only seemed to happen when the effects had started to wear off.

 

Which reminded him….

 

He reached for his chi again, finding it marginally quicker to respond than when he’d tried before. His heart leapt into his throat. Was there actually a chance he’d get it back before Davos returned? Despite his injuries he was feeling more physically able to fight, only a hint of the leaden weakness lingering in his muscles. It seemed the difficulty in summoning his chi was the longest lasting effect. But perhaps if he had some other weapon….

 

His eyes fell on the sink full of mirror shards. There were a couple that looked big enough to still be useful even with a cloth wrapped around them to aid in the grip.

 

Suddenly he heard the door open out in the bedroom, tearing him from his thoughts. A moment later there was a harsh bang on the door, making him jump.

 

“You have ten seconds to open this door, Danny,” Davos’ voice called. “If I have to open it myself you won’t like what happens after.”

 

Danny clenched his fists, _hating_ the shiver of fear that ran down his spine at the sound of Davos’ voice, at the way his stomach knotted with the knowledge of his proximity.

 

He was a warrior. He was the Iron Fist. Fear was the enemy. He was _not_ afraid.

 

Moving with a sudden sense of determination he grabbed another washcloth and quickly wrapped it around one end of the biggest shard of mirror he could find, forming a makeshift knife. Then, holding it slightly behind his back he moved to the door and unlocked it with his other hand. Davos immediately pushed it open, eyeing him suspiciously.

 

“I just… I just had a shower,” Danny said as evenly as he could.

 

Davos’ eyes swept over him in a way that made his skin crawl before he looked past him into the bathroom. When his eyes started to narrow Danny knew he’d noticed the broken mirror. His mouth started to open like he was going to say something and that was when Danny struck.

 

For a moment Davos’ face looked almost comically surprised. But for all that his limbs no longer felt leaden and useless, Danny was still no match for him, not when Davos was in top form and Danny was badly injured. He easily blocked Danny’s attempt to slash him with the mirror shard, smacking it from his hand to fall to the floor. Then, his face a mask of fury, he slammed Danny into the bathroom wall, punching him several times in his already battered face before grabbing him and dragging him back into the bedroom to throw him facedown on the bed. He leaned over him, gripping Danny’s arm and yanking it up behind his back, using it as leverage to push Danny down into the mattress.

 

“What exactly was the point of that?” Davos hissed into his ear.

 

“Can… can you really… blame me for trying?” Danny gasped, barely able to draw breath with his face half-buried in the mattress and Davos’ weight bearing down on his back. It was pure, piercing agony on his ribs and his arm screamed with pain from being twisted up so high. The position also had his heart stuttering in his chest, unwanted images from the previous night trying to push forward in his mind.

 

“You’re _mine,”_ Davos hissed, giving his arm another painful yank. “You’re never getting away from me, do you understand?”

 

“You… you don’t own me,” Danny gasped, closing his eyes. “You might be… holding me here against my will. You might… might be able to do whatever you want… to my body. But _you don’t own me._ And you never will.”

 

Davos snarled, jerking on Danny’s arm so hard he thought he might break it.

 

“Why do you always _insist_ on making me angry, Danny?” he hissed, and Danny’s heart stuttered in his chest.

 

He… he _had,_ hadn’t he? He’d done something stupid and now Davos was angry. He… he was _always_ making him angry….

 

Just... just like last night....

 

The pressure on his arm suddenly eased as Davos released him and moved away. Danny could only lay there panting for a moment, trying to get his heart rate under control, taking stock of the new hurts in his body. His face ached with renewed vigour and his lip was bleeding again. His ribs burned like they were on fire. He felt utterly demoralized by how easily Davos had been able to subdue him, even as weak and injured as he was. It had clearly been foolish to try to fight back.

 

 _“What a pathetic display,”_ Lei Kung’s voice hissed.

 

Then Davos returned, yanking his arm out straight to tie the rubber tubing on. Danny watched with dull eyes as a syringe was once more plunged into his vein and he was injected with the drug that would keep him powerless and at Davos’ dubious mercy.

 

He didn’t bother to fight it. There was obviously no point.

 

As he rode out the initial disorienting rush Davos pulled him up into a sitting position and called in one of the anonymous attendants to tend to his injured hand. The gashes from breaking the mirror were bad enough to need stitches. Danny watched her work disinterestedly, feeling drained and numb down to his soul. After she was done with the stitches on his hand she dabbed disinfectant on the gashes on his face, adding butterfly bandages to the larger ones on his cheek and temple.

 

Once she was finished Davos dragged him unceremoniously to his feet and started to lead him from the room. Danny grit his teeth at the agony that the movement caused his injuries. For all that the drug made his limbs languid and heavy, it did little to dull the physical pain. Between that and the leaden weight of his limbs Danny could barely manage to stumble along with him, but Davos dragged him along unsympathetically, clearly still furious with him.

 

At least concentrating on not falling on his face gave Danny something to focus on other than the other man’s proximity, or the feel of his hands on his body.

 

They finally arrived back in the dining room, the table already laid out with a breakfast buffet and both Gao and Colleen already seated and waiting, Colleen once again strapped to her chair.

 

Danny felt a rush of relief at seeing her. Other than the bandage on her forehead from yesterday, she still appeared to be unharmed.

 

When she saw him, though, the blood drained from her face and her eyes widened in horror. His stomach twisted with shame and his gaze dropped to the floor.

 

“Oh, my God, Danny,” she breathed, her voice sounding anguished.

 

“I’m okay,” he mumbled, though the wince he couldn’t suppress when Davos lowered him into his chair gave lie to his statement.

 

“You son of a bitch!” she yelled at Davos, jerking at her bound arms. “Why the hell did you do that to him?”

 

“I taught him a lesson,” Davos snarled back at her. “One he clearly still hasn’t learned, seeing as how he forgot who’s best interest it was in for him to behave.”

 

Icy fear shot through Danny’s veins. Somehow, he _had_ forgotten.

 

“What? No, she didn’t have anything to do with that,” Danny said desperately, making an effort to rise to his feet but Davos easily pushed him back down.

 

“What happened?” Gao asked.

 

“He broke the mirror in the bathroom, tried to attack me with one of the shards,” Davos replied, grabbing hold of Danny’s nape and giving it a vicious squeeze. “It was a pathetic attempt, doomed to fail, but the consequences of such actions were made clear to them yesterday, were they not?”

 

Gao nodded, signalling one of the attendants, who moved towards Colleen, stun gun in hand.

 

 _“No!”_ Danny yelled. “It was _me!_ Don’t touch her!”

 

“It’s okay, Danny, it’s not your fault,” Colleen said. “I’m _glad_ you attacked that bastard.” She met the eyes of the attendant defiantly, though she couldn’t suppress a cry of pain when he shocked her with the gun.

 

The sound tore through Danny’s heart like a knife.

 

Colleen was being hurt. Because of _his_ foolishness.

 

“Perhaps now you will think twice before attempting anything else so reckless, yes, Mr. Rand?” Gao asked placidly.

 

“Yes,” Danny said quietly, clenching his fists in frustration at his powerlessness. He felt utterly defeated.

 

“So this is the courtesy you spoke of?” Colleen hissed through gritted teeth, panting a little from the residual pain. “Letting that bastard do _that_ to him? Beat him to hell, and you _know_ what else. Deny it all you want, say their ‘personal’ matters are none of your concern all you want, but it’s obvious that you’re full of shit and have some deeper plan here, because just how in the hell is letting this happen to him suppose to endear Danny to your cause? And how’s it going to play into your grand plans if Davos ends up _killing_ him?”

 

“He knows better than to do that,” Gao said, something dark and dangerous in her voice.

 

“He’s mine, I’m not going to kill him,” Davos sneered. “There is no _deeper plan,”_ he continued, even as he shot Gao a suspicious glare. “And if you’re so concerned about his well-being you should tell him to just accept his place here and embrace his destiny.”

 

 _“Never,”_ Colleen snarled. “And you, you’re going to pay for what you’ve done to him, I fucking promise you.”

 

Davos laughed, giving Danny’s nape one more squeeze before taking his seat.

 

“Your friends like to impotently promise vengeance on your behalf, Danny,” he said, starting to fill his plate with food. “It’s very amusing.”

 

“W-what?” Danny asked, blinking. “What are you talking about?”

 

“It is of no importance,” Gao interjected dismissively. She motioned at the attendant again and he unstrapped Colleen’s right arm. “Let’s eat.”

 

“You expect us to continue this ridiculous charade?” Colleen demanded angrily.

 

“I expect you to _behave,”_ Gao said archly. “Or do we need another demonstration of the consequences so soon?”

 

Colleen’s lip curled into a snarl, but she reached for the nearest plate of eggs and started to pile some on her plate.

 

Eating was pretty much the last thing Danny felt like doing, his stomach a twirling mass of unease and shame, but he, too, obediently started to pile some food on his plate. The surreality of once again sitting down to eat a meal with Davos and Gao washed over him in a wave. The drug had his limbs feeling so weak that his arm trembled a little from the effort and once again he did little more than pick at his food.

 

“Now, perhaps you’d like to continue our discussion from yesterday,” Gao said after the dishes had been cleared away and Colleen’s arm had been strapped down again. “I’m sure there’s more you’d like to know about your mother. We became very well acquainted, she and I.”

 

Danny blinked at her, feeling strangely numb. With everything _else_ that had happened, there hadn’t really been any time to give much thought to what they’d talked about at dinner last night.

 

His mother. She’d really been a member of the Hand.

 

He… he didn’t know how to wrap his mind around it.

 

“Perhaps you’ve heard from others during your recent inquiries that your parents’ marriage was quite sudden,” Gao prompted. “Would you like to know why?”

 

“Yes,” Danny found himself saying. “You… you know?”

 

“Danny, I don’t know-” Colleen began but Gao cut her off.

 

“Behaving includes letting your host speak to their guest unimpeded,” she said sharply. Colleen glared at her but remained silent. Gao turned back to Danny. “Yes, Danny, I know. Heather and I had many conversations about Wendell and what happened.”

 

“W-what happened?” Danny asked, swallowing back the sudden lump in his throat.

 

“Well, _you_ happened, as it were,” Gao said with a smile.

 

“They got married… because she got pregnant,” Danny said slowly. “That’s… the only reason?”

 

“It’s a little more complicated than that,” Gao said. “In many circumstances, a woman might find even an accidental pregnancy to be a joyous occasion, if it’s with the man she loves. Especially if he happens to be incredibly wealthy. But sadly, that was not the case for her. Perhaps you’ve already heard this, but Heather had most definitely not wanted to have any more children, due to a tragic loss when she was quite young.”

 

“Yes,” Danny said softly, his heart clenching. “We heard that.”

 

“She told Wendell she didn’t want to keep the baby, that she wanted to have an abortion, but he refused to allow it,” Gao said, gazing at him keenly.

 

Danny stared at her, feeling like the air had been sucked out of his lungs.

 

“W-what?” he gasped. No… no, it wasn’t possible. That she had not wanted children before meeting his father was one thing, but… but….

 

“Oh, God,” Colleen said, her face ashen.

 

“Yes, I’m afraid she was so scared of experiencing another tragic loss that she’d have preferred ending the pregnancy rather than risk becoming attached to another baby only to lose him as well,” Gao said. “I’m sure it’s very upsetting for you to hear.”

 

“Y-yes,” Danny said, blinking dazedly. His mind was whirling, things trying to push forward only to float away again. “She… she didn’t _want_ me,” he said, his voice cracking a little with the realization. Something deep down inside him was _aching._

 

“No,” Gao agreed, smiling a little when Danny almost flinched. “She would have gone ahead and had the abortion, but Wendell wouldn’t let her.”

 

“Wouldn’t… wouldn’t let her?” Danny asked, frowning. He shook his head a little, trying to focus. Thoughts seemed to be sliding away from him even more easily than they had yesterday.

 

“He threatened her, Danny,” Gao said and Danny stared at her uncomprehendingly, his insides suddenly feeling cold. His dad had… had _threatened_ her? That was… that was _impossible…._

 

“Stop this, it’s just _cruel,”_ Colleen said, clenching her fists. “Danny, don’t listen to her, you know you can’t trust her. She’d be perfectly willing to mix lies with the truth to further her own agenda.”

 

“You are misbehaving again, Ms. Wing,” Gao warned archly. “It may seem cruel, but he deserves to know the truth. And you believe I’m telling the truth, don’t you Danny?” she added, her voice turning solicitous as she looked at him.

 

“Right,” Danny agreed dazedly, and then he frowned. That… that wasn’t what he’d meant… was it? Colleen was right, they couldn’t trust Gao to be truthful about everything… could they? “Why… why did I say that?” he asked, shaking his head a little again. Something was _wrong._

 

“It _is_ working better,” Davos smirked.

 

“What are you talking about? What did you do?” Colleen demanded.

 

“Just a small adjustment to the formula of this morning’s dose,” Gao said. “To help him feel… more cooperative.”

 

“You’re… you’re using him as some sort of guinea pig for mind control drugs?” Colleen asked, her eyes widening with horror.

 

“Certainly not,” Gao sniffed. “The Iron Fist is far too important to be used as a _guinea pig._ I employ many talented chemists and I assure you he will not be given anything that I am not confident is perfectly safe.”

 

“‘Employ’?” Colleen sneered. “Do you mean you kidnapped their family members as hostages to force them to work for you, is that what you mean by _‘employ’?”_

 

“I am beginning to regret affording you this opportunity, Ms. Wing,” Gao said, narrowing her eyes at her. “One more disrespectful word out of you and you know who it is who will pay the price.”

 

Colleen glared at her venomously for a moment but then looked away, gritting her teeth in frustration.

 

“Now, as I was saying, Danny,” Gao said, turning back to him. “Yes, he _threatened_ her. Promised to destroy her life if she went through with the abortion. The alternative he offered was marriage and a life of leisure and luxury, as well as a nanny who would raise the child for her, if she really didn’t want anything to do with it. It’s not terribly surprising that she chose that option. After all, who could doubt how powerful a man Wendell Rand was? Certainly powerful enough to have kept that promise. What choice did she really have?”

 

“That’s… that’s why you said he had no honour,” Danny said dully, feeling completely overwhelmed. She sounded so reasonable, so matter of fact. Was… was it really possible?

 

“Yes, it is,” Gao said, smiling.

 

“But… but he _loved_ her,” Danny said plaintively. “And she loved him, I know she did. How… how could she love someone who did that to her?”

 

“Yes, they did love each other,” Gao agreed easily. “No doubt it was the pull of destiny that brought them together, so that they could have you and you could go on and fulfill your own destiny. But you know perfectly well, Danny, that even people who love you, and whom you love in return, can still hurt you.”

 

Danny felt a little bit like he’d been slapped, his gaze sliding over to Davos for a moment before looking away.

 

Yes, he knew that.

 

 _“Danny, I… I’m… I’m so sorry,”_ he heard his mother’s anguished voice say.

 

Oh, yes. He _definitely_ knew that.

 

“So Heather agreed to marry him, and to have you,” Gao continued. “As promised, Wendell hired a nanny and did not expect her to take any role in raising you. She told herself that that would be good enough, that if she refused to have anything to do with you, then her heart would be safe from the pain she had endured in her youth. To that end, she rejected you with everything she had, for _years,_ didn’t she, Danny?”

 

Danny stared down at the table, his heart suddenly thundering in his chest. The yawning abyss at the back of his mind tipped forward, murky images from when he’d been very young floating forward in his mind and then slipping away again.

 

Bringing her drawings that he’d done for her only to have her tear them up and throw them away.

 

Showing her his toys, trying to get her to play with him the way he’d seen Joy’s mother play with her, only for her to scream for the nanny to come take him away.

 

Proudly presenting her with the clay figure he’d painstakingly made her for her birthday only for her to sneer and throw it in the garbage.

 

How… how could he have not thought of any of that in so long? How could he have not _remembered?_

 

“Y-yes. She did,” he said shakily. He felt… hollowed out. Things were clamouring at the back of his mind, and he was suddenly sure that he’d only scratched the surface of what might be lurking in that abyss.

 

He… he really didn’t want to know what else he might have buried there.

 

“Such a terribly sad situation,” Gao said. “I’m sure it was very difficult for you. But Heather was lying to herself by believing it would be so simple. Of course she couldn’t live happily like that, pushing her own child away. She buried herself in charitable works and drank excessively, trying to hide from the pain she was feeling, denying to herself that she cared about the pain she was causing you. But she couldn’t hide from the truth for long, sinking into deep depressions, and attempting to take her life more than once.”

 

“S-stop, I… I don’t want to hear any more,” Danny said. It was too much, things were sliding around in his head and he couldn’t… couldn’t _focus._ He felt… unmoored.

 

“You need to hear it, Danny,” Gao said. “It’s for your own good. You want to know what happened, don’t you?”

 

“Yes,” Danny found himself replying unthinkingly. He frowned again. No, that wasn’t right….

 

“Please stop this,” Colleen begged, looking heartbroken.

 

“As I mentioned yesterday, I became acquainted with her through her society functions,” Gao continued, ignoring Colleen. “And after one such attempt I went to visit her at home. Wendell always kept her sequestered at home after these… incidents, of course. Wouldn’t want a public scandal.”

 

Gao leaned forward and Danny could do little more than stare back at her intense gaze, feeling almost mesmerized.

 

“I explained everything to her,” Gao said. “Everything about the prophecy, K’un Lun, and her child’s great destiny. About how _blessed_ she was, to be the mother of such a child. And I invited her to join with us, to help see that destiny fulfilled. As I said before, it filled her life with new purpose, one she embraced with admirable zeal. All the pain and suffering she’d been through in her life, it hadn’t been for nothing, as she’d always believed. It had all been building towards her great destiny, as the mother of the future Iron Fist that would change the world. You became her entire reason for living, and she finally let herself love you.”

 

Danny blinked at her, tears pricking at his eyes. He… he didn’t know what to say. What to _feel._ It was _too much._

 

“She became quite overprotective of you after that, did she not?” Gao continued. Danny found himself nodding in response. Gao tsked sympathetically. “Sadly that fear of the pain of losing another child that had caused her to reject you for so long was still there, likely made all the worse by the additional fear of losing her entire life’s purpose. Such deeply ingrained... _issues_ are not easily removed. Of course since I was concerned about her continued well-being, I helped to arrange for a private nurse to take care of her when she needed it.”

 

“The nurse… she was Hand, too, wasn’t she?” Colleen asked, her eyes widening with realization.

 

“Of course,” Gao smiled. “Heather’s life may have had a new light and purpose to it but she was still a troubled woman. I merely provided her with some assistance in managing it.”

 

Colleen regarded her contemplatively for a moment.

 

“The nurse was doing something to her,” Colleen said flatly. “You weren’t helping her ‘manage’ her issues, you were controlling them for your own purposes.”

 

“Such a suspicious mind, Ms. Wing,” Gao said.

 

“You… you didn’t deny it,” Danny said dully. Gao smiled.

 

“I assure you, everything I did for Heather was in her best interest, and in yours,” she said.

 

“The plane crash,” Colleen said, frowning. “Why… why would you help Harold cause the crash, when Heather and your prophesied future Iron Fist were on board?”

 

“Because I had no idea how it was that Danny Rand would someday find himself in K’un Lun, until Harold approached me with his proposal,” Gao answered easily. “But when I found out the route the plane was taking, and at a time when the gate would be open no less, it all became clear to me. I had no doubt whatsoever that the plane would go down near the gate, and that Danny would survive and somehow end up in the city. It was meant to be.”

 

“And Heather?” Colleen prompted. “Are you telling us she knew, and got on the plane anyway? Or did you just not tell her that small detail?”

 

Danny stared at Gao, his heart suddenly frozen in his chest.

 

“She knew,” Gao said after a moment, and once again Danny felt like all the air had been sucked from his lungs. “She knew it was necessary for Danny to go to K’un Lun in order to fulfill his destiny, so she had faith as I did that he would survive whatever happened. The threat to her own life, or to Wendell’s, was unimportant.”

 

“You brainwashed her,” Colleen said in disgust.

 

“I see it really is quite impossible for you to remain civil, isn’t it?” Gao said archly. Colleen paled a little but before she could reply a uniformed guard rushed into the room.

 

“Pardon the interruption, Madam, but it is urgent,” he said.

 

“What is it?” Gao asked impatiently, clearly displeased.

 

“Jessica Jones and Luke Cage have been spotted in the neighbourhood, less than a block away.”

 

TBC


	39. Colleen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have I mentioned that I'm terrible at writing action scenes?
> 
> Because I am TERRIBLE at writing action scenes. ^^

“Jessica Jones and Luke Cage have been spotted in the neighbourhood, less than a block away.”

 

Colleen’s heart skipped a beat in her chest. She’d had no doubt that the others would be looking for them, of course, but had had no idea how much information they had to go on or if they’d had any solid leads to work with. She’d also had nothing other than the word of their captors that Claire and Luke were even okay.

 

Gao steepled her fingers, looking contemplative. If she was surprised or alarmed by the news, she wasn’t showing it. Davos, on the other hand, shifted in his seat in obvious agitation.

 

Danny… Danny was still just staring into space, looking completely shell-shocked. Colleen could hardly blame him, what with Gao having just claimed that his mother had known she would likely die when she got on the plane. God, there were… there were just no words. Her heart _ached_ for him.

 

“It is sooner than I expected,” Gao finally said. Colleen blinked at her. Expected? “They are either more resourceful than I had anticipated, or… or you have done something to compromise our location,” she added, turning a bland gaze on Davos.

 

“Me?” Davos snarled. “I have done nothing. Any one of your foot soldiers could be to blame.”

 

Gao regarded him for another moment before turning back to the guard.

“Are they headed this way?” she asked him.

 

“Yes, but they seem to be patrolling rather than moving with intent,” the guard explained. “They’re checking the license plates of any black SUVs they pass, and are looking closely at the faces of passersby as well.”

 

“You allowed the vehicle to be seen. Sloppy,” Gao said, shooting Davos another look. He glared back in response. “It is of little importance now. I anticipated this outcome when you moved ahead on the assault on the penthouse prematurely, and already have contingencies in place. Preparations were already being made to abandon this location, we shall simply have to move up the timetable. Get my car ready, we are leaving at once,” she said to the guard, who nodded and disappeared back out the door.

 

“Why? He said they’re patrolling, they don’t know where we are,” Davos demanded angrily, his face flushed. Colleen imagined he did not appreciate being chastised like a child.

 

“They do not seem to know our exact location,” Gao agreed. “But if they have gotten this close, it is only a matter of time. And if Ms. Jones and Mr. Cage are here, I have no doubt the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen is in the area, as well. I have no interest in involving myself in an altercation with them at this point in time.”

 

“Do Danny’s friends scare you that much?” Davos sneered. “The great Madam Gao of the Hand?”

 

Gao turned an implacable gaze on Davos as she rose to her feet and Colleen found herself shivering as something seemed to shift in the air, a subtle crackling of energy like a gathering storm. The room almost seemed to grow smaller and darker around them. Colleen was suddenly reminded of Gao’s claim to have access to powers beyond understanding. If the look on Davos’ face was anything to go by, he was feeling the change in the air, too. Even Danny had snapped out of his reverie to look at Gao with wide eyes.

 

“They have their role to play in what is to come, just as we do, and now is not the time to engage them. Do you need to be reminded of _your_ role, Davos?” Gao asked, her voice sounding almost sweet, but there was an underlying thread of something absolutely deadly.

 

“N-no,” Davos said, and it was the most flustered Colleen had ever seen him. Gao looked at him for another moment before smiling. It was anything but friendly.

 

“I think this will be a valuable lesson for you, Davos,” she said. “You have the use of the soldiers previously assigned to you. Stay here and try to hang on to your prize against these enemies you mock, if you can. If not... return to me, properly humbled and finally ready to _obey._ You know where I’ll be.”

 

“But… the Iron Fist…,” Davos spluttered, rising to his feet. Colleen felt just as confused. It sounded like Gao intended to leave them behind, leave _Danny_ behind. But that didn’t make any sense….

 

“Danny Rand is ours, and if you lose him now I can reclaim him anytime I choose to,” Gao said casually, and Colleen was chilled by the certainty in her words. “This deviation from my plans has certainly proved useful in many ways, I’ll give you that. But the original plan has not changed. Things must run their course.” She turned her gaze on Danny. “No matter what happens today, I will be seeing you again soon, Danny, make no mistake about that. We still have _so_ much to discuss.” And with that she and her attendants swept out of the room.

 

Colleen stared after her for a moment, completely thrown for a loop. Gao… _expected_ them to be rescued? Had apparently anticipated it from the moment Davos had jumped the gun on whatever plans she’d already had in place?

 

And apparently she was just going to let it happen. To… to _punish_ Davos, or to somehow teach him a lesson?

 

Colleen found that she didn’t really care what Gao’s reasoning was. Adrenaline rushed through her veins and she flexed her fingers, pulling against the straps. After a whole night of feeling utterly useless, reluctant to try anything too risky because of the threat hanging over Danny, this… this changed everything. She had to be ready the moment opportunity struck.

 

Davos was staring after Gao, a myriad of emotions playing over his face before settling on pure, unadulterated rage.

 

“If… if she thinks I’m just going to _let him go,_ now that I finally _have_ him,” he seethed.

 

“Sir,” one of the remaining guards said, looking nervous. “If… if Daredevil and the others are really on their way, perhaps it would be wise for us to take the Fist and leave as well, before they arrive.”

 

“You would have us flee like cowards?” Davos growled. The young man swallowed visibly. Colleen surmised that he and the others that hadn’t left were amongst the ‘soldiers’ assigned to Davos that Gao had mentioned. They looked young and inexperienced, and she had little doubt that that had been purposeful on Gao’s part. Davos really was a blind fool not to see how she was playing with him.

 

“Most of our manpower will be leaving with Madam Gao,” the guard persisted. “She… she could be testing you, to see if you are stubborn enough to stay and fight a losing battle. It would be wisest to leave. Imagine how pleased she will be to see the Fist still in your possession.”

 

“I care not for pleasing Gao,” Davos said, but he seemed to be contemplating the man’s words. He had never personally faced Luke or Jessica or Matt in battle before, but Colleen had no doubt that he was familiar with them and their powers, and that he knew how formidable facing all three of them head on would be, especially without being prepared in advance with dirty tricks like the knockout gas.

 

He would have to choose between his obsession with Danny, by ‘fleeing’ from a fight in order to keep him, or his pride, by staying and risking losing him.

 

“We’re leaving,” Davos finally grit out, reaching down to grip Danny’s arm and haul him to his feet. Colleen was utterly unsurprised by his choice.

 

“And her?” the guard asked, indicating Colleen. She met Davos’ gaze unwaveringly, her hands clenched into fists.

 

“Well, it seems that she is no longer of any significance to Gao, if she left her behind,” Davos said, grinning. “Kill her.”

 

The guard unsheathed a knife and started walking towards Colleen. She glared at him, her heart thudding in her chest as she braced herself.

 

“What? No!” Danny cried out, yanking against Davos’ grip as he started to pull him away from the table. _“Don’t you touch her!”_ he screamed. As he struggled he elbowed Davos in the ribs and though there was obviously little strength behind the blow it was enough to enrage Davos. He backhanded Danny across the face hard enough to send him crashing into the table, then before Danny could even begin to right himself Davos grabbed him by the hair and slammed his head into the table again.

 

“I should make you watch while the whore is gutted,” Davos hissed into his ear.

 

 _“Leave him alone!”_ Colleen screamed, but then the guard with the knife was coming up next to her. She threw all of her weight backwards and slightly to the side as hard as she could, tipping the chair so that it fell and hit the floor at an angle, breaking into pieces. The guard hadn’t been expecting the move and gaped at her for a moment. She took advantage of his distraction by kicking out at his shin, sending him crashing to the floor as well.

 

She rolled rather ungracefully to her feet, pieces of the chair still strapped to her, just in time to see Davos and one of the guards disappearing down the hallway, dragging Danny - who appeared to be barely conscious - along between them. Another guard had unsheathed his own knife and was approaching her warily. She grinned at him, adrenaline singing in her veins at finally being able to _do_ something.

 

It was so easy to take him out she was almost embarrassed for him.

 

By then the first guard had regained his feet and she made short order of knocking him unconscious as well.

 

She hurriedly freed her arms from the straps and the broken pieces of chair, her mind racing.

 

Gao had been right. If Luke and Jessica were in the neighbourhood then Matt likely was as well. She had to try to get his attention. She looked around the room wildly before grabbing a heavy looking vase off a pedestal and heaving it through the large picture window.

 

The crash of breaking glass was satisfyingly loud.

 

Then she grabbed a nightstick off of one of the unconscious guards and headed down the hallway after Davos.

 

 _“Danny!”_ Colleen yelled as she moved along quickly but cautiously, lest she encounter any other guards. Her heart beat a frantic staccato in her chest at the thought that Davos might succeed in slipping away with him. She paused when she came to the end of the hallway, not knowing which direction they had gone and yelled his name again.

 

She faintly heard an abruptly cut off yell from the left and hurried in that direction, pausing briefly to smash another window when she passed it. She passed through another doorway and found herself outside in a large courtyard. Several black-clad foot soldiers stood guard around a black SUV and Davos stood next to the open door to the backseat, his arms wrapped around a weakly struggling Danny in a chokehold. As she watched Danny’s arms fell away from where they’d been fighting Davos’ grip and he slumped, unconscious.

 

 _“Let him go!”_ Colleen yelled, brandishing the nightstick.

 

“You’re like a cockroach,” Davos sneered, glaring at her. The way he was holding Danny’s limp form in his arms, like a parody of a lovers’ embrace, turned her stomach. Something must have shown on her face, because he grinned, shifting his hold on Danny so that he could bring one hand up to caress his face. Colleen’s lip curled into a snarl, her whole body vibrating with rage. “You should just accept that he is no longer yours and let him go,” Davos drawled.

 

“I believe the lady told _you_ to let him go,” a voice said from up above.

 

Colleen’s head snapped up. Perched up on the high wall that wrapped around one side of the courtyard was Matt.

 

Or, rather, Daredevil.

 

“I got your signal,” he said to her, smirking.

 

Colleen really kind of wanted to kiss him.

 

“Let’s go!” Davos snarled at the guards, turning to shove Danny into the SUV. Before he could climb in after him, though, he was suddenly grabbed from behind and thrown through the air to smash against the courtyard wall.

 

Jessica.

 

She and Luke had appeared from around the corner of the house. Colleen kind of wanted to kiss them, too.

 

One of the guards jumped into the driver’s seat and started the engine. Two others rushed over to Davos’ slumped form and started helping him to his feet. More guards suddenly came around the corner of the house that Jessica and Luke had appeared from and they both turned to engage them. Matt jumped down from the wall to help. Colleen couldn’t help but wonder if Gao had left behind more foot soldiers than she’d let on.

 

As she fought off the guards rushing at her, Colleen saw that Davos, who appeared completely stunned from hitting the wall, blood running copiously down one side of his face, was being helped into the SUV by his guards.

 

The SUV that had Danny in it.

 

“Get Danny!” Colleen yelled to the others. Luke threw a guard out of his way and rushed towards the vehicle, ripping the door to the backseat off and tossing it aside as well. He pulled Danny’s limp form out of the backseat even as Davos was sliding into the vehicle on the other side.

 

 _“No!”_ Colleen heard Davos yell. _“Get him back! We’re not leaving without him!”_

 

But apparently his soldiers weren’t in agreement with that sentiment. As soon as they had Davos inside, the driver floored it around the corner of the house and down the driveway. Once they were gone, the few remaining guards who were still on their feet turned tail and fled as well, as if their only purpose had been to ensure that Davos got away.

 

It was over. Colleen could hardly believe it.

 

“That fucker got away,” Jessica seethed, looking in the direction where the SUV had disappeared.

 

“It doesn’t matter,” Luke said, gently laying Danny down on the ground. Colleen rushed over and dropped to her knees beside them. “We got Danny and Colleen, that’s what’s important.”

 

Jessica turned back towards them, her face going pale as she took in Danny’s condition.

 

“Jesus _fucking_ Christ, what the hell did they do to him?” she bit out.

 

“Not _them,”_ Colleen said, gingerly running a hand down the side of Danny’s bruised face. There was a fresh gash on his temple, and his split lip was open and bleeding again. He was still completely out, but his breathing seemed to be steady. “This was all _Davos.”_ She spit out his name like a curse word.

 

“Did… did that bastard...?” Jessica asked, her hands clenching into fists at her sides.

 

“Yes,” Colleen said after a moment, her voice cracking a little. “I… I could see it on Danny’s face when he was brought to dinner last night, that… that something had already happened. And… and Davos had him all… all last night….” She didn’t realize she’d started crying until tears were dripping from her chin onto her hands.

 

“Son of a _bitch,”_ Jessica cursed loudly. She stood looking down at Danny for a moment, a torrent of emotions playing over her face, before she turned and stomped a few feet away, her entire body radiating tension. Matt followed after her, speaking to her too quietly for Colleen to hear the words.

 

“Hey,” Luke said softly, reaching over to grip Colleen’s shoulder. “He’s safe now. You both are.”

 

“Nothing happened to _me,”_ she said, wiping at the tears on her face in frustration. Luke didn’t argue, but she could tell by the sad way he was looking at her that he didn’t quite agree with that assessment. “We need to get him home,” she said, injecting more strength into her voice.

 

“Home? Are you sure he doesn’t need a hospital?” Luke asked, looking down at him anxiously.

 

“He won’t _want_ a hospital,” Colleen said grimly. “They’ll… they’ll have questions he won’t want to answer.”

 

“What about his chi?” Luke asked.

 

“They’ve been drugging him,” Colleen bit out, anger thrumming through her veins. “Their own mix of something that kept him physically weak and unable to summon his chi. It was messing with his mind, too, making him more... suggestible.”

 

“Damn,” Luke muttered, scowling.

 

“We’ll get him home, let Claire have a look at him,” Matt called over from where he’d been speaking to Jessica, who was standing stiffly, her arms crossed over her chest and her face stormy as she gazed into the distance. “Text her and have her send a car. Meanwhile Jess and I are going to do a quick sweep inside. They left in such a hurry they could have left something important behind.”

 

Luke nodded his agreement, pulling his phone out of his pocket, and Matt and Jessica headed inside the house.

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t even ask… you and Claire are okay?” Colleen said.

 

“Yeah, Claire had a nasty bump to her head, but she’ll be okay,” Luke said as he quickly typed out a message. “I was just out for awhile.” He paused for a moment, looking at her sadly. “I’m… I’m so sorry this happened. I let you guys down. And I let Danny down _again.”_

 

“It’s not your fault,” Colleen said. “We were all taken by surprise by that gas.”

 

“What about you? Are you _sure_ you’re okay?” Luke asked, peering at her with concern.

 

“I’m fine, they didn’t even care about me, not really, I was just there to be used against Danny,” she said, looking down at him anxiously. “It’s him I’m worried about. God, Luke, as if… as if _Davos_ wasn’t bad enough, the stuff Gao told us… I don’t know how he’s going to deal with it.”

 

“We’ll deal with it together,” Luke said firmly, but she could see the worry plain as day on his face, too.

 

Between them Danny finally began to stir, his eyelids fluttering.

 

“Danny, thank God,” Colleen breathed, gently touching his cheek again. “Can you hear me?”

 

“C-Colleen?” he asked fuzzily, blinking up at her. Then his body jerked a little and alarm flashed over his face. He started to try to sit up, despite the fact that he clearly had no strength.

 

“Hey, hey, you’re okay, man,” Luke said, gently helping him sit up and keeping an arm around his back to support him. “Take it easy.”

 

“Luke?” Danny asked, staring at him with wide eyes for a moment before relief washed over his features. “Luke, you’re really okay…. What about Claire? What happened?”

 

“I’m fine, and Claire’ll be okay, too,” Luke said. “And you guys are safe. A car is on its way, we’ll have you back home in no time.”

 

“And where… where’s...?” Danny asked, his eyes darting around the courtyard.

 

“He’s gone,” Colleen said grimly. “He… he got away.”

 

Danny looked at her, swallowing audibly before he nodded his understanding. He reached for her and she grasped his hand.

 

“And you? You’re okay?” he asked softly.

 

“I’m okay,” she said, tears pricking at her eyes again. To be perfectly honest, now that the adrenaline from the fight was fading, she was starting to feel rather shaky, the events of the past two days starting to really sink their teeth in.

 

Not just her own life, but the life of the most important person in the world to her had been in danger. They’d both been under threat of torture if the other ‘misbehaved’. She’d had to sit there and watch as Gao had told Danny things that had been devastating for him to hear. And, worst of all, she’d been completely helpless to do anything while _knowing_ what Danny must be suffering through at Davos’ hands.

 

“I’m okay,” she repeated, trying to inject more strength into her voice, but it wavered even more shakily instead.

 

“I’m so sorry,” Danny said, looking heartbroken and sounding rather shaky himself.

 

 _“You’re_ sorry?” Colleen said, wiping at her tears in frustration again. She _hated_ crying. “This wasn’t your fault, Danny.”

 

“But… they were after _me,”_ Danny said, his eyes shining. “They _hurt_ you because of _me._ And… and D-Davos told them to… to _kill_ you…. I don’t know what I would do if I lost you.”

 

“None of that happened because of you,” Colleen said. “They’re responsible for their own actions.”

 

“But if Davos didn’t… didn’t… feel the way he did, then he wouldn’t hate you so much,” Danny said, his voice cracking with emotion. “God, if… if you’d _died_ because of me, because of how _he_ feels about me… I would die, too.”

 

Colleen felt a little like her chest was being split open. She leaned forward to wrap her arms around him, trying to be mindful of his injuries but unable to bear not being as close as possible to him just then. He wrapped his arms around her, too, returning the embrace as tightly as he could manage, apparently not able to stop himself despite how much it had to hurt, either. She could feel fine tremors running through his body as he fought to control his emotions.

 

And then warmth was all around them as Luke wrapped his arms around both of them, too.

 

“It’s over now,” he said softly. “You’re both safe and we’re going to get you home, and everything’s going to be okay.”

 

Colleen barely managed to repress a sob. She wasn’t going to let herself fall apart, not kneeling on the ground in the courtyard of the house that had been their prison for two days. She sucked in a deep breath and then forced the tension to drain from her limbs, just letting herself feel the warmth and safety of the arms around her. Letting herself feel _loved,_ and giving love in return.

 

She wasn’t sure how long the three of them stayed there like that, but eventually she heard footsteps approaching and reluctantly pulled back to look up. It was Matt and Jessica. Matt had changed into a t-shirt and sweatpants similar to what Danny was wearing and Jessica had a large black duffel bag slung over her shoulder.

 

“Hey, kid, glad to see you conscious,” Jessica said, her voice gruff. “You doing okay?” Colleen noticed that she didn’t seem quite able to meet Danny’s eyes.

 

“Yeah, I’ll… I’ll be okay,” Danny said, sounding strangely nervous as he glanced up at her and then quickly looked away again. Colleen frowned a little. “Thank you for coming for us. All of you. It… it means everything.”

 

“We’re your family, Danny,” Luke said. “We’ll always come for you.”

 

Danny looked at him with wide, startled eyes before looking down, his face flushing a little.

 

“What did you guys find?” Luke asked, nodding at the duffel.

 

“Some laptops and some other computers we ripped the hard drives out of,” Matt said. “Some notes and stuff from a makeshift lab in the basement that seemed to be about that custom drug Colleen mentioned. No sample we could have had tested, though, unfortunately. Also my suit is in there. Didn’t think it’d be very subtle to travel back in a Rand car as Daredevil.”

 

Luke’s phone chimed and he glanced down at it.

 

“Speaking of, the car is out front,” he reported. “Let’s get out of here.” He started rising to his feet, gripping Danny’s arm to help him up as well. Colleen kept her own hand on Danny’s other arm, finding herself reluctant to let go of him even though Luke hardly needed her help to support him.

 

They made their way around the house, moving slowly since Danny was still very much under the weakening effects of the drug. The driver of the sleek black car got out to greet them, and Colleen recognized him as Paul, the same driver who had picked them up after the incident at the Lotte. He frowned at them in concern.

 

“Are you alright, Mr. Rand?” he asked, eyeing his battered face and the way that Luke and Colleen were supporting him.

 

“It’s Danny, Paul,” Danny said with a weak smile. “And I’ll be fine. Just take us back to the penthouse, please. To the service entrance.”

 

“Of course, Danny,” Paul replied, opening the back door for them.

 

Once they were all settled inside Jessica pushed the button to raise the privacy screen.

 

“I hope your drivers are very well paid,” she said, though there was little trace of her usual snark in her voice. She still seemed very tense and on edge, holding herself stiffly. And she still seemed unable to look Danny in the eye. Matt casually slid an arm around her shoulders and though she shot him a look, Colleen saw her relax fractionally.

 

“Of course,” Danny replied. “But I think Paul’s earned a generous bonus, too.”

 

They rode in silence for awhile, all of them feeling exhausted from what they’d just been through. Colleen peered at Danny anxiously, worried about how he was going to react to everything that had happened. He sat quietly, his gaze a million miles away, but she could almost feel the distress radiating off him. It made her heart ache.

 

“Something doesn’t feel right,” Jessica finally said. “I hate to say it was too easy, but… it was too easy. Where was Gao? Why would that bastard’s minions just take him and run, leaving you guys behind?”

 

“Gao… Gao knew you were coming and basically _let us go,”_ Colleen said, still feeling confused about it herself. “She also seemed to know that Davos wouldn’t be able to hang onto Danny against the three of you with just a handful of soldiers, but she didn’t _care._ She said she could take him again any time she wanted to.” She couldn’t help but shiver, thinking again of how sure Gao had been.

 

“We’ll talk about it more once we’re back at the penthouse and Claire has had a chance to look the both of you over,” Matt said.

 

Colleen nodded, leaning back in her seat and gripping Danny’s hand as tightly as she could. She closed her eyes and let herself feel _safe,_ surrounded by people she loved.

 

TBC


	40. Jessica

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, 40th chapter, I can hardly believe it! HUGE thanks to all the people who have been so supportive of this fic along the way, it's really meant a lot to me!
> 
> Also, it's been a couple of days since I read the article and I'm STILL blown away by the amazing coincidence that they apparently filmed exteriors of the Lotte to use in Daredevil season three, when I chose that hotel rather randomly based on its location and just kind of liking the name. XD

For expediency’s sake Jessica and Matt split up to do their quick search of the house. She didn’t really have high expectations of finding anything useful, but it would have been foolish not to at least check given that they had the opportunity. And honestly, any distraction was welcome rather than to have to look at Danny’s pale, battered face, or than to have to see the heartbreak in Colleen’s eyes, knowing how helpless she must have felt.

 

She grabbed a couple of laptops she found in what looked like a small office before moving on quickly through a dining room where she found two unconscious guards and then the kitchen and a formal living room. Eventually she came to a corridor that seemed to be all bedrooms. The first two she checked were devoid of personal touches and looked as if they’d been vacated in a hurry.

 

When she opened the door to the third bedroom, she just _knew._

 

This… this was where it had happened.

 

It was the smell that gave it away. Not that it was especially _strong,_ exactly, but it was… distinctive.

 

The smell of sex. But… but not _just_ sex. There seemed to be something in the air that somehow spoke not of sensuality, but of pain.

 

Violence had happened there. Violence, and something worse.

 

Part of her wanted to turn tail and flee, wanted absolutely nothing to do with that room and what she _knew_ had happened there, but she found herself stepping forward anyway, almost as if she was in a trance.

 

The bed was unmade, the sheets a tangled mess. Her pulse thundering in her ears, Jessica drew closer and saw that they were liberally streaked with blood and… and other dark stains that could only… could only be....

 

She turned away quickly.

 

More blood dotted the carpet, some of it forming a haphazard trail to the bathroom. Glancing in she saw that the mirror had been shattered, broken shards scattered over the sink and floor, still more blood splashed over some of the pieces. What looked like one of the sheets from the bed was crumpled on the floor as well.

 

Almost against her will she found herself turning back around to stare at the bed, a soul-deep horror creeping under her skin as she looked at it.

 

Someone… someone she _cared_ about had been attacked and violated there.

 

Her chest ached like it was about to crack open.

 

“Jess,” she heard Matt’s voice say softly and she jumped, realizing that she’d just been standing there staring at the bed for who knew how long. She turned and saw him standing next to her, changed into street clothes and holding a duffel bag in one hand. “We… we shouldn’t be in here,” he said. His face was starkly pale and he looked a little like he was going to be ill.

 

And God... just what the hell could _he_ sense and smell in that room?

 

“This… this is where…,” she said, her voice cracking a little.

 

“I know,” he said sadly, reaching up to put a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t do this to yourself. It’s over. Danny’s safe now.”

 

“Over?” Jessica said, bitterness creeping into her voice. “Do you think Danny will ever feel like it’s _over?_ Do you think he’ll ever stop seeing this fucking room in his nightmares?” She stopped, gritting her teeth against the flood of emotion that was threatening to overwhelm her. At some point her hands had started to tremble a little and she clenched them into fists.

 

“You’re right,” Matt said quietly after a moment. “I’m sorry.”

 

It should have sounded trite and vacuous, should have made her even angrier, but the depth of honest sincerity in his voice sucked all the wind out of her sails. She sighed, suddenly feeling exhausted right down to her bones.

 

“I… I want to burn this whole fucking house to the ground,” she ground out. “I want to make it so that this never fucking happened to him, but I can’t. _I can’t,_ and it’s fucking killing me.”

 

“Because you care about him,” Matt said simply. “And… and you have a better understanding than any of us about what he’s been through… and what he’s _still_ going to be going through, trying to deal with it.”

 

“Caring about people _sucks,”_ she muttered. “Let’s get out of here,” she continued, suddenly sure that if she looked at that damned bed for a moment longer she’d completely fall apart, and that was just absolutely _not_ on the agenda. Matt nodded his acquiescence and she took the duffel from him, slipping the laptops she’d found inside with the stuff he’d collected before they left to rejoin the others outside.

 

~~~~

 

When they arrived back at the penthouse a little while later Claire was waiting for them right by the door to throw her arms first around Colleen and then more gingerly around Danny in greeting.

 

“Oh, thank _God_ you guys are safe,” she breathed, her voice choked with emotion. She pulled back to look at Danny’s bruised face with concern. “C’mon over to the couch and I’ll look you both over.”

 

“It looks worse than it is,” Danny said, but didn’t offer further protest as Luke started to help him over to the couch, Colleen hovering on his other side.

 

“Jesus, Danny,” Ward said, his face pale and creased with worry. “I’d hate to see what you _would_ consider bad.” He was looking the most casual Jessica had ever seen him, with his suit jacket off, his tie loosened, and his sleeves rolled up. He also looked exhausted, and she suspected that for all that they hadn’t been out patrolling in Queens all night like the rest of them, he and Claire likely hadn’t gotten any sleep, either.

 

As the others fussed over Danny Jessica deposited the duffel bag by the door before making a beeline for the wet bar and the bottle of whiskey that was there, not bothering with a glass as she unscrewed the lid and drank deeply. The alcohol burned a warm path down her throat to her stomach and she sighed at the familiar, comforting sensation. She took another long, fortifying drink before turning back to the others.

 

Luke was lowering Danny down onto the couch, Colleen sinking down to sit next to him.  Even after Danny was safely seated Luke seemed reluctant to move away, only stepping back enough to give Claire some room. With an uncomfortable curl of emotion she realized that he was looking at Danny with naked pain in his eyes, like his heart was breaking for him.

 

She could hardly blame him. Danny really did look like shit, and that was only the damage they could _see._

 

They all knew there was more.

 

Almost as if he’d heard her Danny glanced over in her direction and for a split second their eyes met before they both quickly looked away again.

 

Jessica took another deep drink from the bottle, shuddering a little as she forced away the horrific images that were trying to push forward in her mind.

 

“Luke’s text said you were unconscious for awhile,” Claire said, peering into Danny’s eyes. “I guess there’s no point in asking about a hospital, though, right?”

 

“It’s not as bad as last time, and I can heal myself once I can summon chi again,” Danny said. “They’d… they’d have questions about the drug and… and stuff if I went to a hospital.”

 

“You can’t try using someone else’s chi like before?” Claire asked.

 

“No, it’s not that I used all my own like before,” Danny replied. “The… the drug that they gave me, it interferes with my ability to summon it somehow. But it’s okay, it’ll wear off.”

 

“We don’t know how long that could be, though,” Claire said, frowning. Danny just looked down into his lap and stayed quiet. Claire didn’t push the matter, though she looked unhappy. “Well, okay, then, but no lying down to sleep until after you’ve been able to heal, just in case,” she sighed. She reached for the first aid kit she’d already had laid out and waiting on the coffee table, taking out some cotton and disinfectant to dab at his split lip and the gashes on his face. She frowned at his bandaged hand.

 

“What happened here?” she asked.

 

“I… I cut my knuckles open breaking a mirror, but it’s already been stitched,” Danny said, sounding _embarrassed_ of all things. Jessica grimaced, remembering the sight of the broken glass and splattered blood. She took another deep drink from the bottle.

 

“Any… any other major injuries?” Claire asked.

 

“Well… my ribs are kind of banged up, but it’s not a big deal,” Danny said hesitantly. “I’ll be fine until I can heal it.”

 

“Can I check them, please, just in case?” Claire asked gently. Danny hesitated for another moment before nodding, sitting up straight enough to pull his t-shirt up, revealing livid multi-coloured bruising all over his torso.

 

Jesus.

 

Jessica turned away again, taking another deep drink from the bottle. She heard Claire suck in a sharp breath and Ward and Luke both cursed softly under their breath.

 

To see someone you… you _cared_ about beat to hell like that was bad enough. To know exactly _how_ it had happened, to know what had been going on when the injuries were inflicted, to have _seen…._

 

Jessica shuddered again, pushing more unwelcome images away. Fuck, she was going to have the whole bottle gone in record time if she kept up her current pace.

 

“What… what about bleeding, Danny?” Claire asked cautiously after she’d carefully checked his ribs. “Are you… are you _hurt?”_

 

Jessica froze.

 

She knew Claire was likely just worried and scared, and therefore maybe speaking before she thought it through, but she could have been a little more… discreet.

 

Danny peered at Claire for a moment, looking confused, before it suddenly seemed to dawn on him what she meant. His eyes widened and his face went absolutely ashen for a moment before flushing red with shame.

 

“There… there was some… but I’m okay,” he said nervously, glancing in Jessica’s direction again before quickly looking down. “And… and I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

“Danny, are you sure?” Claire said sadly. “Talking about it could help. There’s… there’s no reason to feel ashamed.”

 

Danny stared down into his lap, crossing his arms over himself in an unmistakably defensive gesture.

 

“P-please don’t make me,” he finally said, his voice sounding incredibly small and young.

 

“Shit,” Colleen said. “That drug didn’t just interfere with his chi and sap his strength, it was supposed to make him more suggestible. You can’t push him to talk now, it would be taking advantage.”

 

And that was about enough of that.

 

Jessica turned and stalked away down the hall, bottle in hand, not at all in a frame of mind to be hearing more about mind-influencing drugs.

 

She was utterly unsurprised when Matt followed her, closing the door behind them after they reached their bedroom.

 

“I’m having some serious déjà vu, here,” she drawled, though there was no heat in it. “It’s kind of creepy to always be following someone around, you know.”

 

“I’ll always follow you when you need me to,” Matt said plainly.

 

Jessica could do little more than stare at him for a moment, her eyebrows raised.

 

“God, that somehow managed to be both incredibly lame but also kind of sweet,” she finally managed to say, swallowing back the lump in her throat that she was absolutely _not_ going to acknowledge, thank you very much. “Congratulations.”

 

“I aim to please,” he said, smiling a little as he approached her slowly. He reached for the bottle and she let him take it, raising her eyebrows again in surprise when he drank deeply from it himself before setting it on top of the dresser. Then he took her hands and gently pulled her into an embrace. It only took her a moment to let herself sink into the comfort he was offering.

 

How the hell had she let him get so close in such a short time?

 

It didn’t matter. He was there and she was fucking _glad._ She didn’t think she could have done this alone.

 

Well, she probably could have. But she didn’t _want_ to.

 

“What do you need?” he asked quietly after they’d been standing there holding each other for awhile. She sighed, pulling back a little to look at him.

 

“Other than more whiskey? Who the hell knows?” she said wryly. Matt chuckled a little, reaching over to snag the bottle while still keeping one arm around her. She accepted it when he offered, taking a deep drink before handing it back. He took another drink himself before setting it back down. “Gonna get drunk with me, Murdock?” she murmured.

 

“Not drunk, necessarily,” he replied. “But I’m not opposed to a little self-medication myself, right about now.”

 

“The doctor who treats himself has a fool for a patient,” she found herself saying. The whiskey was warming her blood and after drinking so much so fast she was definitely starting to feel a little buzzed.

 

“Good thing neither of us are doctors, then,” Matt replied, sounding amused. Jessica leaned forward again, putting her head on Matt’s shoulder, and just let herself feel his comforting, solid presence. Matt rubbed his hand slowly up and down her back, letting her take her time. She suspected he’d be willing to just stand there in silence for hours, if that was what she needed.

 

The thought made her feel even warmer than the whiskey did.

 

“Danny… Danny keeps looking at me weird,” she said after awhile. Matt was quiet for another moment as if mulling that over.

 

“Well… despite how naive he can often be, Danny’s not an idiot,” he finally said. “He knows how particularly close-hitting this, uh, this _topic_ is for you, just like we all do. He’s just not as subtle with his concern. And, well….”

 

“And he feels guilty,” Jessica sighed in realization, lifting her head to rub her face wearily. “For… for _upsetting_ me. As if it’s his fucking fault. Christ.”

 

“That’s Danny for you,” Matt said in wry agreement. “And, well, _you’ve_ been being a little weird towards him, too, haven’t you? Not really able to look him in the eye?”

 

“How do you even know that?” Jessica groused. The bastard just smirked a little. She sighed again, tension creeping back into her muscles. “I… I just can’t get the image out of my head,” she said, her voice wavering a little. “Of… of that bastard... _pinning_ him down on that _fucking_ bed….”

 

The smirk melted from Matt’s face, his lips pressing together in a grim line.

 

“I know what you mean,” he sighed. She didn’t doubt it. He may not have _seen_ the room in the strictest sense of the word but his other senses had undoubtedly painted an all-too vivid picture.

 

“It’s like… every time I look at him, I… I can almost _see_ it happening, like some kind of terrible movie in my head,” she said, clenching her hands into fists. “Having actually seen where it happened, having _stood_ in that fucking room and… and fucking _felt_ the _residue_ in the air... it’s making it all too easy to fill in the details. I don’t think I’ve ever hated having such a vivid imagination so much before.” She paused, taking a deep, centering breath. “Is… is that crazy? To have been able to feel it in the air, that something terrible had happened there?”

 

“I might be the wrong person to ask, but… I don’t think so,” Matt replied. “Emotions have something like a scent, especially strong emotions, and they can linger in the air the same way that someone’s perfume or cologne can linger in a room after they’re gone. When something that terrible happens, I’d believe that even people without heightened senses might be able to detect _something_ that felt off for awhile afterwards, even if they weren’t sure what it was exactly that they were feeling.”

 

Pain and anguish painted on the very air. How poetic, in an awful kind of way.

 

“What… what do you think happened with the mirror?” she asked.

 

“Well, it’s his knuckles that were sliced open, and he said himself that he was the one who broke it, so… I imagine he must have punched it at some point,” Matt replied.

 

“After,” she said, her voice wavering again.

 

“After, most likely,” Matt agreed somberly, seeming to sense where her mind was going.

 

She was thinking of Danny, standing alone in that bathroom trying to pull himself together after someone he loved and cared about had violently beaten and raped him.

 

Had it been anger that had led Danny to lash out… or pain and self-loathing?

 

How many times had _she_ stood staring at herself in the mirror after… after having been violated, screaming on the inside in the way she couldn’t on the outside? How many times had she wanted to just fucking _shatter_ the glass and never look herself in the eye again?

 

Would it have felt different, if the reflection staring back at her had been battered and bruised? If she’d been able to see the evidence of force?

 

She shuddered, turning away from Matt to grab the whiskey bottle and take a deep drink. The bottle was nearly empty, she noted with dismay.

 

“Do… do you think it made it worse for him, being able to see what happened all over his skin?” she found herself asking, her voice sounding hollow and distant.

 

“I don’t know,” Matt said after a moment. “It… it might have. But... I don’t know if there’s any point in wondering if this scenario or that scenario is ‘worse’ when it comes to rape or abuse. It’s all just… awful.”

 

“The stain is the same, there under your skin forever, no matter the details,” Jessica muttered.

 

Matt stepped towards her, taking his glasses off and setting them down on the dresser. Then he gently touched her chin, tilting her face up until she was looking at him. For all that his gaze remained as unfixed as ever, she suddenly felt like he was looking right through her, peering into the depths of her soul.

 

“I understand why you feel that way,” he said softly. “I also understand why it is that you might never be able to feel differently. But at the very least, believe me when I say, _I_ don’t think that you’re stained. That’s not what I think of when I look at you… so to speak.”

 

Jessica stared at him, a myriad of conflicting emotions tumbling through her. She… she felt raw and vulnerable and exposed, all things that she absolutely _hated…._

 

But… but it was okay.

 

Because she was _safe_ with Matt.

 

“O-okay,” she finally managed to respond, her voice choked with emotion as a few tears escaped to run down her cheeks. Matt gently brushed them away with his thumb, something so… so _tender_ in the expression on his face that it was making her a little weak in the knees. She could almost feel hysterical sobs wanting to break out but she wasn’t quite ready for them, not yet. She sucked in a sharp breath, trying to reign in her emotions before they managed to completely overwhelm her. “Thank you,” she said with feeling.

 

“Anytime,” Matt said, and his small, soft smile made her heart skip a beat in her chest.

 

Jessica stepped back a little, needing a bit of distance to help keep her focus, but she reached up to give his arm an affectionate squeeze first. She picked up the whiskey bottle, eyeing the small amount that was left before just finishing it off in one go.

 

“How are they doing out there?” she asked. “I… I feel kind of bad for running away like that.”

 

“You don’t have to feel bad,” Matt said. “Never feel bad for doing what you have to do to look after yourself. It… it was the talk about the drug, right? No one would blame you for not wanting to hear that, especially right now. As for the others, I haven’t actually been paying attention.”

 

Jessica blinked at him, and then actually felt her face warm a little.

 

Matt hadn’t been paying attention to them, because he’d been completely focused on _her._

 

“Right now things seem about as calm as can be reasonably expected,” Matt continued after listening for a moment. “Considering how upset everyone still is, of course. We… we’re _all_ going to be dealing with the fallout from this for a long time, I’d say.”

 

“God, Danny’s going to be such a mess,” Jessica said, running a hand over her face. “Like, a much _worse_ mess. He was already so fucked in the head about Davos. What the hell is _this_ going to do to him?”

 

“It’s hard to say,” Matt said grimly. “It’s rather cold comfort, but at least we got him and Colleen back pretty quickly. I… I don’t even want to think of what could have happened to either of them if we hadn’t been able to find them.”

 

“It wasn’t quickly enough,” Jessica muttered. “And we let that bastard get away. Now Danny has to live knowing the fucker who did that to him is still out there, that he still _wants_ him….”

 

She shuddered. That was a path she didn’t want to go down just then, either.

 

“You can’t blame yourself for that,” Matt said. “Our priority had to be Danny and Colleen, and it seemed like the Hand’s priority was getting Davos away. He was injured, though, so hopefully we won’t hear from him for awhile, though that’s probably unlikely.”

 

“I hope I cracked his fucking skull open,” Jessica seethed, clenching her fists. “He deserves that and more for everything he’s done to Danny, not just this.” She paused, pushing back her anger before it could overwhelm her. “God, I just… I just can’t help thinking about how Danny’s never going to get away from this. What happened in that room will be a part of him forever.”

 

“Yes, it will,” Matt agreed after a few moments of heavy silence had passed. “But he’s strong, and he’s not alone. He has us, and we’re strong, too, even if we don’t always feel that way.”

 

“I’m definitely not feeling very strong right now,” Jessica muttered.

 

“You are,” Matt said softly, reaching up to gently cup her cheek. “You’re strong and amazing and beautiful.”

 

“How do you even know that, either?” she griped, even as she closed her eyes and leaned into his touch.

 

“I know,” he said. “It’s one of my superpowers, just ask Foggy.”

 

“Is being a dick one of your superpowers?” she asked without heat. Naturally, he just chuckled a little. Suddenly feeling exhausted and weary right down to her bones, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him again, resting her head on his shoulders. He brought his arms up around her in return, dropping a chaste kiss on the top of her head before resting his cheek there.

 

She sighed heavily, basking in the firm strength of his embrace, in the feelings of safety and warmth and comfort that his presence brought.

 

In the feeling of _family._

 

The past two days had been unequivocally awful. But Matt was right. Danny wasn’t alone. None of them were.

 

“I think I’m in love with you, Matt Murdock,” she said softly against his shoulder. She felt him jerk a little in surprise before he tightened his embrace even more.

 

“That’s good to hear, because I’m definitely in love with you, Jessica Jones.”

 

TBC


	41. Danny

Danny felt… overwhelmed.

 

Earlier, after Gao had dropped the bombshell about his mother having known that the plane was likely going to crash but had been willing to get on it anyway, things had started to happen so quickly that Danny’s addled mind had barely been able keep up.

 

First the news of Luke and Jessica’s proximity and Gao’s perplexing lack of concern about it, though Danny’d still been reeling from her revelation from only a few moments before at that point and it hadn’t really registered. But then Gao had done… _something,_ something that had almost seemed to change the very air around them. Some kind of… of show of force for Davos? Or… or had it been some kind of threat?

 

But then Gao had just _left,_ and Davos… Davos had ordered Colleen’s death.

 

Danny didn’t think he’d ever felt so panicked in his entire life, weak and completely useless as the knife-wielding guard had advanced on a bound Colleen.

 

But of course Colleen was far from helpless.

 

Davos had snarled with rage when she’d freed herself and taken down the guard. But apparently he’d been in a hurry to leave after having decided to do so, and he’d grabbed Danny and fled down the hall with one of the guards, leaving the others to deal with her. Stunned from being slammed into the table and still weakened by the drug, Danny had had little choice but to be pulled along, his faith in Colleen’s fighting ability the only thing keeping fear for her from completely taking over his mind.

 

Sure enough only a few moments later Colleen’s voice could be heard, calling his name as she pursued them.

 

When Danny had attempted to call back, Davos had wrapped his arm around his neck in a chokehold, and the world had quickly faded away. His last thought before darkness overtook him had been to wonder if he’d ever wake up again, or if Davos would end up accidentally killing him as he’d come so close to doing at the Lotte.

 

Part of him hadn’t been able to help wondering if it would really be such a terrible thing if he did.

 

It… it hadn’t seemed to matter much, as long as Colleen was safe.

 

But Davos hadn’t killed him. He’d woken not just to Colleen’s relieved face, but to Luke’s as well.

 

It… it had been overwhelming. Colleen was _safe._ They were _free._

 

Davos was… Davos was _gone._

 

He’d barely even had time to process it, wrapped in Colleen and Luke’s comforting embrace, and then Jessica and Matt had been there, too, and the realization had roiled through him in a sickening wave.

 

They knew. They _had_ to know.

 

Davos had made it clear at the Lotte, what he would do to Danny if given the opportunity.

 

And… and the _look_ on Jessica’s face….

 

It wasn’t incredibly obvious or anything, probably seemed like her usual expression of mild annoyance to most people, but Danny had been able to _see_ it, like brittle cracks running right beneath the surface.

 

He’d seen the same cracks in his own reflection that morning.

 

It _ached_ deep down in his soul that _he’d_ put those cracks there, that he was the reason she was in pain, having to remember and relive things that were… that were awful beyond words.

 

He felt so ashamed he’d barely been able to look at her.

 

Now, back at the penthouse, the… the _weight_ of everything that had happened was starting to make itself known. Even just being there was a little surreal. For all that it had only been barely twenty-four hours that they’d been gone, it almost felt like a lifetime.

 

Danny sat in a bit of a daze as Claire fussed over him, not really seeing the necessity but understanding that it was what she needed to do to feel like she was looking after him. He found himself almost wanting to agree to her request for him to go to the hospital, if it would make her happy, but he managed to push the feeling - which was likely only coming from the influence of the drug - away, and thankfully she didn’t push too much.

 

“What happened here?” Claire asked, frowning at his bandaged hand.

 

“I… I cut my knuckles open breaking a mirror, but it’s already been stitched,” Danny replied, feeling a curl of shame at the memory of his outburst. And… and just not wanting to think about what he’d been feeling when it happened.

 

“Any… any other major injuries?” Claire asked.

 

He didn’t really want to tell her. She’d want to _see,_ undoubtedly, and even just the thought left him feeling… exposed. But he didn’t want to lie to her, either.

 

“Well… my ribs are kind of banged up, but it’s not a big deal,” he said hesitantly. “I’ll be fine until I can heal them.”

 

“Can I check them, please, just in case?” she asked gently.

 

Danny fought back a grimace. He’d expected as much, and knew she’d push if he refused. He grit his teeth, trying to brace himself as much as possible, and slowly lifted his shirt.

 

It still cut deeply, seeing the look on Claire’s face, hearing Luke and Ward’s muttered curses. He’d expected it to be bad, but even the strength of his own reaction, of how deeply and completely _humiliated_ he felt, took him off guard. He’d… he’d never felt so ashamed of injuries before. They… they were just bruises and cuts, when you got right down to it. No different from any injury obtained in training or battle.

 

_“Except those injuries didn’t come from training or battle,”_ Lei Kung’s grim voice said. _“And they all know it.”_

 

Static hovered around the edges of his awareness, but he tried to ignore it.

 

“What… what about bleeding, Danny?” Claire asked after she was done gently prodding his ribs and he'd been able to lower his shirt. “Are you… are you _hurt?”_

 

He looked at her for a moment, honestly not sure what she was talking about at first. And then….

 

_Oh…._

 

He’d thought he’d felt exposed and humiliated before. For all that he knew that they had to have guessed what had happened, somehow he hadn’t been expecting her to ask… that.

 

And… and he couldn’t deal with it now. He just couldn’t.

 

“There… there was some… but I’m okay,” he finally managed to say, his voice sounding hollow and distant to his own ears. He couldn’t stop himself from glancing in Jessica’s direction, unsurprised to find her by the wet bar, bottle in hand. When their eyes met for a brief moment it felt like something raw and painful passed between them, like an electric shock. He quickly looked away, swallowing back the sudden lump in his throat. “And… and I don’t want to talk about it,” he added.

 

“Danny, are you sure?” Claire asked sadly. “Talking about it could help. There’s… there’s no reason to feel ashamed.”

 

Suddenly it felt like the world was pressing in on him, weighing him down. Instinctively he crossed his arms over himself, trying to keep his breathing even and steady as it threatened to ramp up out of control. He… he could _feel_ the pull of the drug, wanting him to do as she was telling him… but he didn’t _want_ to. He wasn’t ready. He wasn’t sure he ever would be.

 

“P-please don’t make me,” he finally said. He honestly didn’t know if he’d be able to stop himself if she kept pushing and the thought was terrifying.

 

“Shit,” Colleen said. “That drug didn’t just interfere with his chi and sap his strength, it was supposed to make him more suggestible. You can’t push him to talk now, it would be taking advantage.”

 

Out of the corner of his eye Danny saw Jessica suddenly turn and stalk away down the hall and his heart clenched in his chest. He saw Matt follow her, and was glad that she wouldn’t be alone, at least, but… but she wouldn’t be having to deal with it at all if it wasn’t for him.

 

“Oh, God,” Claire said, horror passing over her face. “Shit, Danny, I’m so sorry. Luke mentioned it when he texted but I didn’t even think.”

 

“It’s okay,” Danny said, and he meant it. He knew she was just worried, that she hadn’t meant to upset him. Hell, _he_ was the reason that everyone _else_ was upset.

 

_“Always causing trouble,”_ Lei Kung’s voice sneered. Danny tried not to flinch.

 

“No, no it’s not,” Claire said, rising to her feet from where she’d been crouched in front of him. “I… I shouldn’t be pressuring you to talk right now, drug or no drug. I don’t know what I was thinking….” She paused, looking first at him and then at Colleen, a look of such naked vulnerability on her face that it made his heart skip a beat. “God, I was just… just _so_ scared for both of you…. I don’t know what I would have done if… if….”

 

“Hey,” Luke said, stepping towards her and pulling her into his arms. She buried her face against his chest. “They’re home. Everyone is safe now.”

 

“I… I know…,” she said, her voice cracking with emotion.

 

Danny hunched in, hugging his arms more tightly to himself despite the way it was making his ribs ache.

 

“I can read your thoughts all over your face,” Colleen said to him softly. “None of this is your fault, Danny.”

 

“But everyone’s so upset,” he said weakly. The static was needling at his mind more and more insistently, sending tension humming through his limbs in strange counterpoint to the lingering weakness from the drug. “And none of this would have happened if Davos didn’t… if he….”

 

“Honey, you can’t blame yourself for that,” Claire said, pulling back from Luke and looking at him sadly. “And we’re upset _for_ you, not _because_ of you. There’s a big difference.”

 

“I’m… I’m upsetting Jessica,” Danny said, unable to meet anyone’s eyes. “Bad… bad memories.”

 

Heavy silence reigned for a long moment.

 

“Jess… Jess isn’t upset with _you_ any more than the rest of us are,” Luke said with a sigh. “And yeah, this likely is… bringing up bad memories for her. I have no doubt that Matt is doing what he can to look after her, and she has all the rest of us to help, too. But even so, Danny, you can’t blame yourself for what she’s going through. It’s just not your fault.”

 

Danny nodded miserably. He understood the logic of what they were saying, he wasn’t _stupid,_ but… but getting his heart to really _believe_ it was a whole other matter. The people he cared about were upset and it _hurt._

 

“Hey, look, maybe I should go,” Ward said, looking uncomfortable. “This is getting really personal and… and I have an important meeting in a couple of hours and I need to stop by my place to shower and change.”

 

“Thank you for staying with Claire, man, I really appreciate it,” Luke said.

 

“Yes, thank you,” Claire said. “I think I would have lost my mind if I’d been sitting here alone all night.”

 

“It was nothing, really,” Ward said, shifting awkwardly.

 

“It’s not nothing,” Danny said emphatically, causing everyone to look at him in surprise. He felt his face flush a little but pushed on. “Staying with Claire, providing resources for the search, all the stuff you’re doing to clean up Rand security… it means a _lot_ to me, Ward. Thank you.”

 

“It means a lot to all of us,” Colleen added.

 

“O-okay,” Ward said, looking rather nonplussed. Danny mused sadly that he probably wasn’t used to such open outpourings of gratitude from people. “You’re welcome. And I’m… I’m really glad you’re both home safe. I’m… I’m sorry this happened.”

 

“Thanks, Ward,” Danny said, managing a small smile for him even as his stomach roiled at the thought of not just the others, but Ward, too, knowing the details of what had happened.

 

Ward gathered up his suit jacket and briefcase before coming over to clap a hand on Danny’s shoulder with surprising gentleness.

 

“Look after yourself, okay?” he said quietly. “I’ll keep you guys updated on any developments with security but if there’s anything else you need, anything at all, just let me know.”

 

“Thanks, Ward,” Danny said again, feeling a swell of emotion in his chest at Ward’s obvious sincerity.

 

After Ward had left silence descended again for a moment.

 

“So are you guys hungry?” Claire asked with a note of false brightness, clearly trying for a sense of normality.

 

“Believe it or not, we were served a formal breakfast with Gao and Davos, so I’m good,” Colleen said drily.

 

“Seriously?” Luke asked, raising his eyebrows.

 

“You didn’t eat much, though. Or at dinner last night, either,” Colleen added, looking at Danny.

 

“I’m not hungry,” Danny said, completely unsurprised by the dismayed look on Claire’s face. “But… I’ll try to eat something, if you want.” Her face brightened considerably at that.

 

“I, for one, am famished,” Luke announced. “And I’m sure Matt and Jess need to eat, too.”

 

“We probably shouldn’t intrude while they’re… talking,” Claire said. “We can make sandwiches and then they’ll be ready for them whenever they come out.”

 

“Sounds like a plan. I’ll help,” Luke said. He looked at Danny and Colleen. “Do you guys need anything in the meantime? Tea? Water?”

 

“I’m good,” Colleen said. Danny just shook his head. Luke looked at them a moment longer, a strange expression on his face, before he reached over to ruffle first Danny’s hair and then Colleen’s as well.

 

“I can’t even say how good it is to have you both home again,” he said with feeling, before turning to follow Claire to the kitchen.

 

Danny felt what was becoming a familiar flush of warmth at the gesture, and when he looked at Colleen she had a vaguely startled but still pleased expression on her face as she watched Luke go. Then she turned to look at Danny, her face softening with concern.

 

“How are you doing?” she asked softly, putting a hand on his arm. “Really?”

 

“I… I don’t really know,” he replied honestly. “It’s all just… _so_ _much._ I just… I just wish I could _think_ clearly, and that I didn’t still feel so… so weak and useless.” He reached up to rub his head wearily. The distorted focus of the drug hadn't lessened much. Gao had mentioned that they’d tweaked this morning’s dose. Would it last even longer this time? It wasn't a pleasant thought.

 

“Danny, you could never be useless,” Colleen said emphatically.

 

“I was pretty useless when Davos tried to have you killed earlier,” Danny muttered, looking away. His heart clenched painfully at the memory. God, if he had _lost_ her….

 

“It’ll take more than a few ridiculously green foot soldiers to take me down, you know that,” she said gently. “How the hell Davos doesn’t realize what a slight it was for Gao to assign them to him, I’ll never understand. I have to wonder if she takes him seriously at all.”

 

“Davos isn’t stupid, but… but he can’t see past _me,”_ Danny said, rubbing his face again. He was so _tired._ “I know you’re not helpless, but it still could have cost you your _life,_ if the circumstances had been different.” He clenched his fists, tension thrumming through him with renewed vigour at the thought. “I… I can forgive him a lot, but… I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive him for _that.”_

 

Colleen was quiet for a moment, regarding him contemplatively with a soft, sad expression on her face.

 

“You could, couldn’t you?” she said gently, no trace of judgement in her voice. “You could forgive him just about anything he did to you. Even this.”

 

Danny looked away again, his heart in his throat.

 

_Could_ he ever forgive Davos, after the depth of this betrayal? After… after that night of pain and… and… _degradation?_

 

He shuddered, pushing back the sudden flood of images and sensations from the night before.

 

Not now. He couldn't deal with that _now._ Maybe not ever.

 

What Davos had done had been undeniably awful, but… but it was Davos’ obsession with _him_ that was clouding his judgement, and Gao was obviously taking advantage of that, influencing and manipulating him….

 

Maybe… maybe Davos would never have gone that far without her involvement.

 

Danny grimaced, well able to imagine the looks on the others’ faces if he were to suggest that to them. He probably _was_ being stupid and naive, and even if Davos had been being influenced into doing it, he’d still _done_ it. Still… still ripped Danny’s soul apart with anger and violence and the need to… to _defile_ him.

 

Even so… it didn’t change the fact that Davos had been the only person he’d had for _so long._ He couldn't forget that, either. He just couldn't.

 

“He’s my brother,” he finally said, his voice cracking a little. He was just so confused, not sure what to think, what to _feel._ Suddenly all the events of the past twenty-four hours, not just what Davos had done, but also everything that Gao had revealed seemed to be falling in on him, crushing him with their weight. Static was rushing around him, images flashing through his mind in quick succession. Davos’ angry face, the blood-stained sheets, his mother ripping up a drawing he’d given her, his mother smiling reassuringly at him before being sucked out of the plane’s roof….

 

“Hey, Danny, just breathe, okay?” Colleen was saying anxiously, squeezing his arm. “You’re okay, just _breathe.”_

 

Danny suddenly realized that he’d been almost gasping for breath, the air seemingly frozen in his lungs. He tried to do as Colleen asked, concentrating on trying to slowly breathe in and out.

 

“What’s going on? Is it another seizure?” Claire asked, rushing over from the kitchen, Luke close behind her.

 

“Some kind of panic attack, I think,” Colleen replied, moving her hand to start rubbing his back. “That’s it, Danny. Slow in, slow out. That’s good.”

 

He closed his eyes, listening to the soft cadence of her voice. Slow in, slow out. Slow in, slow out. Eventually his lungs seemed to get the message and started to loosen up, each breathe coming easier than the last.

 

“I’m… I’m sorry,” he said once he was finally no longer struggling for breath.

 

“God, Danny, there’s no need to apologize,” Claire said. “With what you’ve just been through it’s hardly surprising.”

 

“I guess it’s never surprising when I’m a mess, huh?” Danny said dully. The episode had left him feeling more drained than ever, but had still managed to leave a restless, crawling sensation in his skin.

 

Somehow… somehow it suddenly didn’t seem to matter if he could forgive Davos or not. It wouldn’t change anything. He was stained, stained, _stained,_ not just because of how he’d twisted Davos up with obsession, but also from the pain and anguish he’d caused his mother. He was stained and polluted and rotten right down to his _core._

 

“You know she didn’t mean it like that, man,” Luke said gently.

 

Danny nodded weakly, not willing to argue the point that that didn't change the fact that it was true.

 

“Do… do you want to talk about it?” Claire asked cautiously. “It’s okay if you don’t,” she added hastily.

 

“Not now,” Danny replied tiredly. All he wanted to do just then was _disappear._

 

“Okay,” Claire said, exchanging a worried glance with Luke. “Well, the sandwiches will be ready soon.”

 

“Did someone mention sandwiches?” Jessica asked as she and Matt emerged from the hallway.

 

Danny's spine stiffened, and he couldn't help but wrap his arms around himself again. It didn't matter what the others said, he _knew_ dealing with this was causing her pain, which meant that _he_ was causing her pain.

 

_“You bring nothing but pain and suffering to everyone you love,”_ Davos’ voice hissed. He couldn't suppress a flinch and from the corner of his eye he saw Colleen frown a little.

 

“Yeah, you guys are just in time,” Claire said, shooting Danny a concerned look as well before heading back towards the kitchen.

 

Danny grit his teeth, hugging his arms more tightly to himself. He felt despair right down to his _bones._

 

All he _ever_ did was cause trouble.

 

Luke headed after Claire to help her, though he paused when he passed by Jessica to put his hand on her shoulder.

 

“Everything good?” he asked.

 

“About as good as it can be,” she replied with a smirk.

 

She and Matt continued on to the living room, sitting down on the couch opposite Danny and Colleen.

 

Danny tried to keep his breathing deep and even. The last thing he wanted was to freak out again. Or worse.

 

“How are you guys doing?” Matt asked.

 

“Like Jessica said, I think we're about as okay as we can be,” Colleen replied, squeezing Danny's arm.

 

It hung unspoken in the air that that was not very okay at all, at least in Danny's case.

 

How _could_ he be? He hadn't even been okay before.

 

“Is the drug starting to wear off yet?” Matt asked.

 

“Not much,” Danny said, shifting uncomfortably. He reached experimentally for his chi, and though it was certainly slow and sluggish, it did respond a bit more than he'd expected, which was heartening. He was eager to be able to heal his injuries. Maybe once the visual reminder of what had happened was no longer written all over his face, things could start to go back to... normal.

 

_“Normal, Danny? Really?”_ Davos'  voice said mockingly. _“After everything Gao told you?”_

 

Blood rushed in Danny's ears, static pushing in from all sides.

 

No.

 

No, he was absolutely _not_ going to think about that. He couldn't… he couldn't even _begin_ to process all of that. Not when everything was so… fragile.

 

“Danny? You okay?” Matt asked, frowning a little.

 

“F-fine,” Danny replied, pushing it all back as much as he could.

 

Suddenly there was the buzzing of an incoming call on a cell phone.

 

“It’s coming from Danny's phone,” Matt said grimly, nodding towards the kitchen.

 

Danny's heart stuttered in his chest.

 

Luke, who was the closest, went over and picked up the phone. The look on his face when he checked the screen said it all.

 

Jessica rose from the couch and stalked over, a murderous look on her face.

 

“Give me the Goddamned phone,” she demanded, holding out her hand.

 

TBC

 


	42. Danny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I am SO incredibly sorry that it's been so long. T_T I've had so much going on the past few weeks. My sister and niece came to visit for almost two weeks and though I had foolishly hoped I'd still be able to find time to write with them here, that hope was in vain. Then even after they were gone there were some other personal things that came up and it's just been very hectic. And of course all this happened when it came time to write THIS particular chapter, which I've been planning for so long and definitely didn't want to rush.
> 
> Things should be settling back to normal now and I really hope to get back to my regular posting schedule as of next week. I had no intention of committing to a schedule when I first started posting this fic over a year ago but I really do prefer to be able to do so if I can manage it.
> 
> Again, I am so sorry and I really hope this was at least worth the wait. ^^

Danny struggled to rise to his feet, his heart racing.

“J-Jessica, please, _don't,”_ he begged. He wasn’t really sure just why he suddenly felt so alarmed when it was just a phone call but… but making Davos angry was _always_ a bad idea.

And Jessica would definitely make him angry.

She shot him a look that almost seemed apologetic, but still snatched the phone from Luke’s hand and hit the button to accept the call.

“Listen to me, you sick son of a bitch,” she snarled. The expression on her face was downright frightening. “Danny doesn’t fucking _belong_ to you. He never _has_ and he never _will,_ you fucking asshole. This bullshit is _over._ You don’t call him, you don’t text him, you don’t fucking come _near_ him. Hell, if you know what’s best for you you’ll get the fuck out of New York and never come back, because if I ever fucking see you again I’m going to _rip your fucking lungs out,_ and that’s a fucking _promise,_ you pathetic piece of shit. Nobody fucking hurts my family and gets away with it, do you understand me? Touch Danny or Colleen or any of the others again and you’ll be fucking _begging_ me to kill you before I’m finished with you.”

Then she pulled the phone away from her ear and crushed it in her hand.

“Uh, sorry. Guess you need a new phone again,” Jessica said, not sounding very sorry.

Danny could do little more than stand there gaping at her, completely stunned.

“Wow, Jess,” Luke said, his eyebrows raised.

“You’re a little bit terrifying,” Colleen said, sounding rather awed. She rose to her feet alongside Danny, putting her hand on his arm. “Danny?” she asked tentatively. “You okay?”

Danny blinked, trying to reign in his swirling emotions.

Jessica… Jessica had called them _family._ It sent a warm flush through his veins and made something in his heart swell and just… just _ache_ with some unnameable emotion.

But… but Davos would not be dissuaded by threats. He never scared easily, even as a child. When other competitors at tournaments had tried to intimidate him, he’d only ever seen it as a challenge.

Jessica’s tirade and insults had definitely infuriated him, of that Danny had no doubt.

And he’d called Danny’s phone, trying to reach him. It had barely been a couple of hours and he’d _already called._

Davos… Davos was _never_ going to let him go.

 _“You’re mine, Danny. This is where you belong, where you’re meant to be,”_ Davos’ voice said, harsh and gasping as he panted with exertion. Danny could almost feel the ghost of his breath against the side of his neck.

With a swooping rush of vertigo he could suddenly feel weight blanketing him, pinning him down to the bed, _crushing_ him. Could smell sweat and salt and blood and hear ragged breathing and grunts and small, bitten-off whimpers of pain.

He flinched violently, shoving the memory back with every fiber of his being but static was still rushing in all around him, was suddenly threatening to pull him under in a tide of hopelessness and despair.

“Danny?” Colleen said again, frowning with concern. “What is it?”

“He’s never going to stop,” Danny said dazedly, cold dread flooding through him. “He won’t _ever_ stop, he’s just going to keep trying until… until….”

“He _will_ stop,” Colleen said firmly, squeezing his arm. _“We’ll_ make him stop.”

“How?” Danny said, his heart clenching painfully in his chest. “He won’t give up, not ever.” And Colleen could have _died,_ and Luke and Claire had been _attacked._ How many more times would the people he cared about suffer because of Davos’ obsession with him? How long before one of them really _was_ killed? The thought was like ice in his veins. “You… you should have just left me there,” he found himself saying, his voice hollow.

Suddenly Colleen was in front of him, grabbing hold of his shoulders and staring up into his face, a strange mixture of anger and fear on her face.

“Don’t you _ever_ say that!” she said, her voice cracking with emotion. “Don’t you _dare!”_

It _hurt_ to see the pain on her face, to see how upset he was making her, but it was just further proof that he was a _cancer,_ that they’d all be better off without him in their lives.

“You don’t understand,” he said, pulling away from her. Emotion was welling up in his chest, was flooding through his veins, was _drowning_ him. “It’s all my fault! He wanted you _dead!_ He could have _killed_ you! And… and Luke and Claire were attacked and hurt, and… and it could happen again because _he’s never going to stop,_ and… and I’m not _worth_ it!” His voice had been steadily climbing in volume until he was practically shouting, but he couldn’t seem to stop. Everything was _too much._

“Of course you’re worth it!” Colleen cried. “Danny, why would you even say that?”

Danny shook his head helplessly, completely overwhelmed. It was _all_ crashing in now, everything he’d been trying so hard to keep at bay. Because it wasn’t just the danger that Davos’ obsession posed to the others that was weighing on him. There was the Earth-shattering truth that Gao had revealed to them that he’d been trying _so hard_ not to think about. The truth that he thought maybe some deep down part of himself had always suspected.

His parents were dead because of _him._

Sharp, agonizing pain pierced his heart.

“Don’t you get it?” Danny pleaded desperately. “I’m _poison._ I hurt _everyone_ I care about. And… and my parents… my mom suffered so much because of me, and… and _I’m_ the reason they’re both dead! Me and my… my so-called _‘great’_ destiny! I… I should have… I should have just died with them! _I wish I’d just fucking died with them!”_

He stumbled a few more feet away from her, from the others who were all watching with shocked, stricken looks on their faces, before his knees gave out and he sank down to the floor. Something _awful_ was clawing at his insides, was squeezing his lungs, was _choking_ him. The pain of it doubled him over and then he was _screaming._

Danny screamed and screamed, rocking back and forth with his hands fisted in his hair. His stitches burned and his face and ribs ached but the physical pain was a distant, unimportant thing compared to the devastation ripping his soul apart.

He’d killed his parents.

He’d put the people he loved in danger.

He’d twisted Davos up into an obsessed monster who had raped him and deep down he _knew_ it was only a matter of time before it happened again. Davos would never give up and sooner or later _it would happen again._

He didn’t even realize that he’d actually started to beat his fists against his skull until there was a presence kneeling beside him, wrapping their arms around him to grab his wrists, stilling their movements.

“Hey, now, there’s no need for that,” Luke’s deep voice rumbled. “Don’t hurt yourself.”

“I… I… I c-can’t…,” Danny gasped out, not even sure what he was trying to say. Static was everywhere and he felt like he was _flying apart._

“It’s okay, man, I got you,” Luke said gently, shifting to sit and then pulling him back against his chest even as he kept his grip on Danny’s wrists. “Just let it out. Just let it all out.”

So Danny did.

He had no concept of how much time passed, rage and pain and anguish pouring out of him like he'd lanced a bottomless wound. But eventually the screams gave way to broken, choked sobs and then finally to exhausted, heaving breaths.

He didn’t think he’d ever felt so completely and utterly drained in his life.

Awareness slowly crept in again and he realized that Luke was still sitting on the floor with him. He’d released his grip on Danny’s wrists but his arms were still wrapped around him in a solid yet gentle embrace, holding Danny’s back against his chest. Despite his ragged exhaustion Danny started to tense, thinking that Luke was likely uncomfortable, that he probably wanted to move now that the worst of Danny’s… _episode_ seemed to have passed.

And then… then he’d have to face the others. Now that the storm had passed shame at his weakness, at having had yet another emotional outburst, was starting to creep in. He couldn’t fathom trying to look anyone in the eye just then, couldn’t even imagine trying to deal with whatever expressions might be on their faces when he felt so… so hollowed out and numb.

But Luke only tightened his embrace in response to Danny’s nervous shifting.

“You’re fine here, if you want,” Luke said softly. “We don’t have to move, and you don’t have to say or do anything. Just rest, okay?”

His deep, warm voice was like a soothing balm to Danny’s soul. The tension slowly melted from his limbs and he gave a wordless nod before slumping more fully into Luke’s arms, his eyes closing as his head fell back to rest against Luke’s chest.

 _“Whore,”_ Davos’ voice snarled. _“All the fuss you kick up with me and you’d spread your legs for him in a heartbeat.”_

Danny flinched a little, horrific flashes of images and sensations from the night before trying to rush in around him again, but then Luke’s embrace was gently tightening around him again, warm and solid and dependable, his voice murmuring soft reassurances in his ear.

It was okay. He was safe. He was _safe._

Danny drifted, carried away on the rhythmic rise and fall of Luke’s breathing against his back. Occasionally he was aware of the ebb and flow of soft voices around him as the others talked, but the words didn’t register. He was just… floating.

He blinked awake groggily sometime later, mildly surprised to realize he’d actually fallen asleep.

“Hey, welcome back,” Luke said softly. “Feeling any better?”

Danny shifted a little, taking a moment to assess before he answered. He still felt rather hollowed out but the feeling didn’t have as much... _rawness_ to it as it had before. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been asleep for, but it had been deep and dreamless and though he was still pretty drained it wasn’t the bone-deep exhaustion of before. He reached for his chi and was immensely relieved to find it responding readily, almost back to normal. He must have been asleep for awhile.

“I-I think so,” Danny rasped, his throat sore and dry. Hardly surprising, considering he’d screamed his lungs out for who knew how long earlier. “I can access my chi much better now, too. I should be able to heal my injuries.”

“Maybe you should eat something before you try that?” Luke suggested. “It drains you pretty bad under normal circumstances and you’re still not 100%. The others already ate but they saved us a couple of sandwiches.”

Because of course Luke wouldn’t have been able to eat with Danny flaked out asleep against his chest and his arms wrapped around him, Danny realized, his face heating.

“I’m sorry!” he said. “You… you could have moved me. You didn’t have to go hungry.” Though even as he said it Danny couldn’t help but dread the thought of moving, the warmth and solidity of Luke’s arms around him feeling like a tether to stability.

Remembering the snarled accusation he’d heard from Davos, some small part of him couldn’t help but wonder how he could possibly enjoy being so physically close to another man after what had happened only the night before, when he was still hurting in the most intimate places of his body.

But it was _Luke._

Luke was safe in a way that Davos had _never_ been, and his body didn’t feel anything like his, anyway. Davos was lean and wiry, the threat of violence always coiled and waiting in tense limbs. Luke’s frame was much larger and there was a… a reassuring solidity to his bulk that somehow made Danny feel… protected.

“Hey, it was no big deal,” Luke chuckled. “Nor was it any kind of big sacrifice on my part. Happy to be your pillow any time.” He reached up and ruffled Danny’s hair.

Danny’s face flushed even more, warmth suffusing through him. He didn’t think he’d ever get over how much that simple yet affectionate gesture affected him.

“Still… I’m sorry for always being so much trouble,” he murmured.

“Taking care of people you love isn’t trouble, Danny,” Luke said gently. “You just went through something awful. _Beyond_ awful. Better to let it out than to keep it in and let it fester.”

“I feel like I’ve been ‘letting it out’ a lot lately,” Danny said tiredly. “How many meltdowns can a person have in just a few days?”

“As many as they need to,” Luke replied without hesitation.

Danny suddenly felt choked with emotion, unable to formulate a reply.

Then Colleen was crouching in front of him, holding out a glass of water which he accepted gratefully.

“Luke’s right, you know,” she said as Danny drank the water, relishing how it soothed his dry throat. “You needed to get it out. Keeping it inside will just poison you. With everything that happened… it’s actually kind of impressive that it took as long as it did.”

“Impressive?” Danny asked incredulously. “We were barely home for an hour before I was falling apart.”

“God, Danny, you’re dealing with _so much_ right now. I think it would be hard to overstate how much of a serious trauma you’ve just been through, and that _on top_ of all the other very serious and traumatic stuff you’ve _already_ been dealing with,” Colleen said seriously. “So yeah, I’d say the fact that you’re still going at all and aren’t basically catatonic 24/7 is pretty impressive.”

Danny stared at her, stunned.

“Amen to that,” Jessica called over, and Danny started a little, glancing towards where she was seated on the couch, Matt next to her. It looked as if they had set up a mini office, each of them working on a laptop, Matt with his refreshable braille display at hand. His eyes met Jessica’s for a moment, something sharp and understanding in her gaze before she seemingly turned her attention back to the laptop screen.

Danny’s heart clenched in his chest, remembering how she’d called them _family._

Colleen reached out to run her hand through his hair, smiling a little, though it looked sad.

“You’re so much stronger than you give yourself credit for,” she said quietly. “Because being strong doesn’t mean never feeling pain or falling apart. It’s being able to keep moving forward _despite_ feeling pain. It’s picking yourself up again _after_ falling apart. You’ve been doing it your whole life, Danny, again and again. So don’t cut yourself short, okay?”

“O-okay,” Danny said uncertainly. He could see the logic in what she was saying, though as usual it was hard to parse that with what he was actually feeling.

“And I don’t ever want to hear you say anything like how we should have just left you behind again, you hear me?” she said firmly. “That’s _never_ going to happen, not in a million fucking years. We’re family, and you don’t leave family behind. Understand?”

“Yeah,” Danny replied, ashamed. Colleen rarely cursed, so he knew he must have really upset her when he’d said it. Guilt churned in his gut.

“And… and, God, Danny, I know what Gao said but you can’t seriously think you’re to blame for your parents. Please tell me you don’t really… really wish…,” she said, her voice choking up a little.

Danny stared at her, his heart lurching in his chest. He… he hadn’t even remembered saying that, not until she brought it up. Everything about his mother and his parents’ deaths and the great destiny Gao had spoken of was a tangled up knot of raw and weeping wounds that he couldn’t even fathom trying to unravel.

But… _did_ he really wish that he’d… he’d died with them in the crash?

His mind wasn’t really prepared to go there just then.

“I… I don’t know,” he said helplessly.

Something raw and tremulous passed over her face, and he thought she might try to push more on the point, but she just sighed.

“We can talk more later, but you should probably eat first so that you can heal yourself,” she said. “Now, I know you’re probably reluctant to move from that very comfortable looking position, and I can hardly blame you, but it’ll probably be easier to eat sitting on the couch,” she said, a mildly teasing tone entering her voice.

Danny nodded, feeling his face flush again.

“For someone so solid Luke really is a very cozy pillow,” Claire said brightly, emerging from the kitchen carrying two plates with sandwiches on them.

Luke chuckled a little, giving Danny one last gentle squeeze that was mindful of his injured ribs before letting him go so that Colleen could take his hand and help him to his feet. Once he was upright Danny finally noticed from the slant of the light coming in the windows that it had to be nearly evening.

“How long was I asleep?” he asked, blinking in surprise.

“A few hours,” Colleen said as they moved towards the couch. “You obviously needed it.”

Luke followed behind them, and Danny felt a pleased flush of warmth when he sat down next to them on the couch, putting Danny in the middle between him and Colleen. Claire handed him and Luke their plates, taking Danny’s empty water glass in return.

“Just eat as much as you can,” Claire said, ever mindful of the lack of appetite that had become the norm for him as of late. “And then we can talk some, if you’re up to it.”

“Okay,” Danny said, nodding his thanks as he accepted the plate even as he fought back a grimace. Talking didn’t sound very appealing at all, but if nothing else he supposed they needed to discuss their next steps.

Danny managed to make himself eat without too much trouble, which he was sure must have pleased Claire immensely. He didn’t feel particularly hungry but he knew his body needed the fuel, especially if he was going to use some of his chi to finally heal himself. He was still eager to be rid of the uncomfortable physical reminders of what had happened.

 _“As if that will change anything,”_ Davos’ voice laughed mockingly. _“I’m under you skin, Danny. You’re_ **_stained_** _. You can’t erase that as easily as you can bruises and cracked bones. I’m a part of you and always will be.”_

Danny shivered, pushing back at the static that was trying to creep up on him and just concentrating on eating his food.

Once he was done he set the plate aside on the coffee table and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. His chi responded quickly to his summons and he steadily directed it to seek out all his hurts and soothe them away. By the time he was done he was exhausted all over again, but he didn’t care. The pain was gone. When he opened his eyes again he realized with a flush of embarrassment that they were all watching him.

“Man, I will never get over seeing bruises and stuff just kind of… melt away like that,” Jessica said. “It’s fucking insane.”

“It’s mystical ninja shit,” Matt said with a small smile. She shot him a look and elbowed him in the ribs, though there was clearly no force behind it as it just made Matt’s smile widen into a grin.

“Better?” Colleen asked, squeezing his hand.

“Much,” Danny said with a sigh. “Not being able to feel my chi, it’s like… like missing a limb. It’s just… a part of me now. He… he took away a _part_ of me.” He shifted uncomfortably, his heart aching. Of course Davos had to have known that. Everyone in K’un Lun knew that the Iron Fist wasn’t just a title. The power granted to the chosen by Shou-Lao became a part of that warrior’s very being. But with everything else he’d been willing to do, it was hardly surprising just how much Davos was willing to take from Danny.

“Because he wanted to use it for himself,” Colleen said bitterly.

“How can he use something that’s suppressed, though?” Luke asked, frowning. “As long as they kept Danny drugged, Davos and Gao wouldn’t have access to it, either.”

“About that,” Jessica said, reaching down into the duffel bag next to her feet, the one they’d taken from the house. She pulled out a folder of papers. “I was looking at these notes from the basement lab earlier. I can’t swear to anything since I’m hardly a scientist but it looks like they were working on two versions of the formula.”

“They were still tweaking it when they were giving it to him,” Colleen said, frowning. “Trying to improve the effectiveness of the suggestibility.”

“Jesus,” Jessica muttered. “Well, there’s stuff in the first version that never gets changed in any of the revisions, but that same stuff is all absent from the second formula. That one seems to be all just the stuff they’re playing around with in the first. So….”

“So the second one could be a drug that’s missing the properties that suppress his ability to summon chi but would still have the same effects on his mind, making him easier to manipulate and control,” Matt suggested.

“That would be my guess,” Jessica said with a nod. “We should get these notes to the Rand lab, though, have someone who actually knows about this stuff evaluate it more thoroughly than we can.”

“If you’re right, then that means…,” Colleen said slowly.

“Then that means that even if he agreed to join them they likely intended to keep drugging him with the second formula,” Matt said grimly. “Probably to keep him… docile.”

“Fucking _psychos,”_ Jessica snarled.

Ice flooded through Danny’s veins at the thought. Was that really the fate that Gao and Davos had planned for him? A brainwashed puppet?

From Gao it was no surprise, of course. Danny had no illusions that she was after anything other than having the Iron Fist under her control. His autonomy meant nothing to her.

But Davos….

How could it _still_ hurt so much, after everything? Every little revelation of just how far Davos was willing to go? Of… of just how little _regard_ Davos actually had for him, no matter what he claimed?

Danny supposed he really must be an idiot, for it to keep taking him off guard like that. It felt like a punch to the gut every single time.

“Davos… he’s always saying that he’s my brother, that I can trust him,” Danny said distantly, his gaze far away and unfocused. “That he’s the only one who’s ever cared about me. That I’m… that I’m _his._ But he doesn’t even want _me._ He wants some brainwashed version of me that he can control. And… and he’s never going to stop.”

Jessica suddenly rose to her feet, setting the laptop down on the floor before stalking over to the wet bar, grabbing a fresh bottle of whiskey and pouring herself a glass. Danny watched her sadly, a wave of guilt washing through him.

He knew this had to be especially awful for her.

“I told you, Danny, we’re going to _make_ him stop,” Colleen said firmly, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze.

“We don’t know where they are, and they could plan another attack any time,” he said anxiously, turning his attention back to her.

“We’ve started going through what we found at the house,” Matt said, gesturing at the laptops he and Jessica were working on. “There’s a ton of information on these hard drives, a lot of it heavily encrypted, wo we’re hopeful there’ll be useful intel. It will take time to get through it all, but it could give us some leads.”

“It doesn’t seem like much, but we’ll make progress, Danny,” Claire said reassuringly.

Danny nodded a little, but he didn’t feel very hopeful. If Gao had been so unconcerned about leaving the computers behind, it seemed unlikely there’d be anything _too_ valuable on them, but anything was possible, he supposed.

He thought again of her easy certainty that she could get him back any time she wanted to and felt a chill run down his spine.

Jessica came back towards them, bringing the bottle and glass with her, but bypassed her seat on the couch to approach Danny. He looked up at her in surprise.

“I think we should talk, kiddo. Just you and me,” she said, looking down at him with an unreadable expression on her face. “If you think you’re up for it.”

“Uh… o-okay,” Danny said uncertainly.

“Maybe now’s not the best-” Claire started, frowning a little.

“It’s Danny’s choice,” Jessica snapped, cutting her off.

“It’s okay, Claire,” Danny said, rising to his feet. He felt incredibly nervous, not knowing what to expect, but if Jessica wanted to talk then he would talk. He owed her that at the very least. “We… we can go to the bedroom.”

Colleen gave him a reassuring smile and squeezed his hand before letting it go. He led the way down the hallway, his heart thundering anxiously in his chest, Jessica following behind. Once they reached the bedroom she elbowed the door shut behind them and then refilled the glass with whiskey before holding it out in offering. Danny blinked at it.

“I guess I should have brought another glass, but I’m not too good to drink straight from the bottle,” she said with obviously false lightness. “Go on, take it. But don’t rat me out to Claire for giving alcohol to minors.”

“I’m over 21,” Danny stated needlessly as he obediently accepted the glass. Not too long ago his temper might have led him to feel rather irked at her teasing but mostly he just felt nervous and confused. “And Claire’s not my mother.”

“That’s a relief, cuz otherwise it would be _really_ wrong and gross when you all finally end up in bed together,”Jessica said, taking a swig from the bottle.

Danny gaped at her, heat blazing through his face. Jessica’s eyes widened and then she groaned, looking abashed.

“Shit, sorry,” she said. “That was… sorry. I’m an asshole and I’ve been half drunk all day, but that’s no excuse.”

“It’s… it’s okay,” Danny said, taking a sip from his glass since he didn’t know what else to do. She was acting strange, like she was nervous. It was making him even _more_ nervous.

“It’s not okay. It was a shitty joke,” Jessica said. “Whatever’s happening between you guys… it’s good. I didn’t mean to… to sully it.”

“I get it. It really is okay,” Danny said, and he meant it. The joke had surprised and embarrassed him, but he knew it hadn’t been malicious. They all knew Jessica used humour, often sarcastic or inappropriate humour, as a shield when she was upset, and she had every right to be upset.

She sighed, seeming to accept this, before pulling herself together and finally looking at him straight on. He felt pinned in place by her gaze, unable to look away.

“I guess it’s kind of been the unspoken elephant in the room that you and I have something very… _unfortunate_ in common,” she stated flatly. Danny nodded slowly, swallowing back the sudden lump in his throat. She looked at him for another moment before turning away, taking another drink from the bottle. “The others try to understand, and they sure as hell do better than a lot of other people, but they don’t get it, not _really._ And God, I really fucking hope they never do, you know?”

“I… I know,” Danny said softly, his heart clenching.

Because you couldn’t ‘get it’ unless you’d lived it.

Just the _shadow_ of the thought of one of the others having that happen to them, of Colleen or Matt or Luke or Claire or Joy or Ward or _anyone_ having to experience such a horrific violation firsthand… it pierced him right down to his soul.

Just as it pierced him to know that Jessica _had_ experienced it.

Jessica was looking at him again, her gaze heavy with sadness and understanding.

“Yeah, you do, don’t you?” she said with a sigh. “And it’s not even enough that we… we both know what it’s like to be raped, it’s even more than that. Having a psycho think that they _own_ you, that they have some fucking _right_ to force you to be with them in some sick pseudo-relationship… that’s a special kind of hell and something I really would have rather not have had in common with _anyone,_ let alone… let alone someone I care about.”

Danny blinked at the moisture suddenly pricking at his eyes, too overwhelmed to speak.

“I used to wonder sometimes… was it me?” Jessica continued. “Was there something wrong with _me_ that had attracted a monster like that to me? And I know you’ve been having similar thoughts, kid, that you did something to make that bastard the way he is, that it’s all somehow your fault. We rape victims love to blame ourselves.” She smirked humourlessly before taking a long drink from the bottle. Suddenly remembering the glass in his hand Danny took a long sip as well, the burning of the alcohol a welcome distraction to the emotions swirling violently through his mind.

Because of course she was right. He _did_ blame himself.

He’d also never thought of himself in exactly those terms before, either. They were stark and brutal and undeniable.

_Rape victim._

“I know you’re not ready to believe it yet, and I mean, it’s not like I don’t fucking still struggle with it sometimes, but it’s not your fault, Danny,” Jessica said somberly, locking her gaze on his again. “That sick bastard is the only one responsible for what he does. Besides, you were right about what you said earlier. It’s not even really you that he wants, it’s a brainwashed version of you that he can control. Just like Kilgrave didn’t really want _me._ He didn’t even _know_ me. He wanted a toy to play with, a powered up doll that was all _his.”_ Her lip curled into a snarl and she shuddered, taking another drink from the bottle.

“I’m so sorry this is bringing all this up for you again,” Danny said softly, his chest aching.

“You can’t blame yourself for that, either, Danny,” she said, rubbing her eyes wearily. “We really need to work on this martyr complex of yours. It’s almost as bad as Matt’s.”

“Sorry,” Danny said, and then winced. She shot him an amused look, something almost like fondness in her eyes. It made something in his chest flutter.

“The point of this was that I just wanted to say… no two people have the exact same experience but I know something of what you’re going through right now and… and I’m _here,_ okay?” Jessica said, her expression turning serious again. “If there’s something maybe that you’re not comfortable sharing with the others, or that you don’t think they could handle hearing or that you’re… you’re _ashamed_ of saying… I can take it, okay? You can talk to me.”

Danny stared at her, feeling like his chest might split open from the force of the emotion he was feeling.

“T-thank you, Jessica,” he finally managed to say. “That… that means a lot. Thank you.” The words seemed woefully inadequate. She nodded, looking a little uncomfortable.

“And… and I know I’ve given you a hard time about still caring about him, and I’m sorry,” she continued. “It’s been really unfair of me and I’m going to try to be more understanding. It’s actually one of the ways in which our, uh, experiences differ the most, I guess. I almost can’t help but wonder if I was lucky on that point, at least. I… I can’t imagine it having been someone I cared about, betraying me like that.”

“I… I can’t imagine it having been some… some _stranger,_ t-touching me like that when I couldn’t stop them,” Danny said haltingly. “I don’t think either way is… better.”

“Yeah, I guess Matt was right on that point,” Jessica said, chuckling humourlessly. “There isn’t really any point in comparing or debating which rape scenario is the worst. These aren’t the pain Olympics and nobody’s getting a medal for winning. And who the fuck would want that medal anyway?” She sank down to sit on the edge of the bed, gesturing for him to sit as well. He did so and she reached over to refill his glass. He hadn’t realized he’d emptied it, but now that he was thinking about it he was starting to feel the warm tingle of the alcohol under his skin.

For a little while they sat in a silence that wasn’t exactly comfortable but wasn’t exactly uncomfortable either, both of them sipping their whiskey, thoughts lost to the demons in their minds.

“You… you can talk to me, too, you know,” Danny finally said. “It goes both ways, right? I don’t want to just be taking all the time. I know you say it’s not my fault but that doesn’t change that this has been really hard on you, Jess. I… I can listen, too.”

Jessica turned to stare at him consideringly for a moment before looking away again, though her free hand snaked out to take hold of his. He blinked in surprise, gripping it back.

“I… I used to stand in front of the mirror sometimes, after… after Kilgrave had made me have sex with him and just stare at myself,” she began, her voice sounding strained yet resolute. “It used to make me feel ashamed, that I… that I didn’t _look_ any different. Something so awful and terrible and earth-shattering had happened to me but I didn’t _look any different._ I couldn’t understand why I still looked so… so _clean.”_

“Because you felt stained,” Danny said softly, his heart in his throat. “Stained right down to your core.” She looked at him, her eyes wide and sad and vulnerable in a way he’d never seen them before. She nodded.

“The… the _helplessness_ was the worst,” she continued. “He’d just… just say the words, and there’d be nothing I could do. I used to think that if I’d only been able to _fight back,_ even without super strength, even if I’d _lost_ and it happened anyway, then it wouldn’t have been as bad. Nothing could be as horrible as just having to… having to _let it happen.”_

“I… I tried to fight back, but… but I was too weak,” Danny found himself saying, gripping her hand so tightly his knuckles were white. She was gripping back just as tightly and he had a stray thought as to how impressive her control was not to be crushing his bones. “I couldn’t use my chi and my muscles were like… like _lead._ I… I couldn’t do _anything.”_ He downed the rest of the whiskey in his glass, taking a moment to breathe before the memories overwhelmed him. “And he was so angry… he _wanted_ to hurt me. I… I had hoped that the pain would sharpen my focus enough to get past the drug and access my chi like what happened at Birch, but it must work differently than the drugs they used there because it didn’t. And… and it went on for _so long._ He’d… he’d finish and then he’d rest a bit and then it would _start all over,_ again and again, and I just wanted to _go away,_ to blank out or something like I’ve been doing so much lately, but I couldn’t even do that.”

“I could do that a little, sometimes,” Jessica said quietly. “If… if the instructions I’d been given weren’t too specific then sometimes I could manage to autopilot it and just… just check out for awhile. I mean, it’s not like _he_ cared if I was really present or not. He was getting what he wanted.”

“He was getting what he wanted and he didn’t care what _you_ wanted, like you didn’t even matter,” Danny said distantly. “I… I think that that felt even worse than being so helpless. He was supposed to be my friend, my _brother,_ but he _knew_ I didn’t want him and it didn’t _matter_ to him. It was like he didn’t care that I was a person, like I was just some _object_ that didn’t have any… any….”

“Any agency of your own,” Jessica said solemnly.

Danny nodded slowly, looking at her with wide eyes.

“A-after, when I woke up this morning alone, I… I tried to tell myself that… that I was _okay._ That it wasn’t a big deal,” Danny said, his pulse quickening at the memory. “Davos and I… well, it was far from the first time, so I just kept thinking… why should I be upset? We’ve… we’ve had sex before. Why… why should it be different? I mean, I know you guys say he was… was manipulating and using me when we were in K’un Lun, but… but he never _forced_ me, not like… not like that.” He closed his eyes, his grip on her hand tightening even more as he started to tremble a little. “And I… I saw myself in the mirror, saw all... all the blood and the bruises and it all came rushing in and I _knew._ I knew I _wasn’t_ okay and it _had_ been different and I knew maybe I’d been kidding myself all along that he’d _ever_ really given me a choice and I knew he was going to come back and do it again and… and I think if it wasn’t for Colleen and the rest of you I would have sliced my wrists open with a piece of the mirror.” The last had all come pouring out of him in a rush, leaving him feeling dazed.

“Jesus,” Jessica said, putting the bottle down on the floor before wrapping her arms around him in a tight embrace. Danny hugged her back fiercely. It felt a little unreal to have spoken the words out loud, something inside of him feeling like it had… loosened, somehow.

They sat like that quietly for a long time, until the shaking had eased from Danny’s frame. Jessica leaned back a little, looking at him sadly before reaching up to run her hand through his hair and gently pulling him forward again until their foreheads were touching.

“I’m so sorry you went through that. That you understand what it’s like,” she said heavily.

“I’m sorry you understand it, too,” he said.

She leaned back again, looking at him consideringly.

“Colleen was right, you know. You’re a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for,” she said. “Anyone who can go through the shit you’ve been through and still keep going is a fucking hero, Danny.”

“You’re really strong, too,” Danny said fervently. “You’re _amazing.”_

“So Matt keeps telling me,” she said with a little chuckle. Then she sighed, glancing down at the bottle on the floor. “Well, the bottle’s just about empty so we should probably rejoin the others before certain people amongst them fret themselves to death over what we’re talking about in here and what’s taking so long,” she said wryly. He nodded and they rose to their feet together, still holding hands, then she suddenly tugged him forward, wrapping her arms around him in another fierce embrace.

“I meant what I said earlier. We’re family now, kid,” she said, her voice heavy with emotion. “And I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that there’s no easy fix to this, and definitely not with just one conversation. Anytime you need to talk about it, I’m here. And… and I know I can come to you, too. We’ve got each other’s backs, okay?”

“Okay,” Danny said, his heart feeling like it might burst. When she pulled back she looked at him for a moment before leaning forward to plant a small, chaste kiss on his lips. He blinked at her, his heart fluttering.

“C’mon,” she said, taking his hand again. He followed her back out to the others, his mind a swirl of emotions and though he’d hardly say he felt _good,_ he did feel lighter than he had in a long time.

TBC


	43. Matt

When Jessica suggested to Danny that they talk privately, Matt was surprised but pleased.

They were all incredibly upset over what had happened to Danny, of course, because they all cared about him a lot. Knowing what he’d suffered through - at the hands of someone he loved like a brother, no less - was horrific for  _ any _ of them to contemplate, and for his own part Matt didn’t think he’d ever be able to banish the memory of what he’d sensed in that bedroom from his mind. It would likely haunt him for the rest of his life.

But unlike himself and the others, Jessica had the added burden of having her own traumatic memories stirred up as well, though he was sure they were never far from the surface for her anyway. He knew their talk earlier had helped, but he could sense that she was still struggling with it, which was only to be expected. He could offer his love and his support and his empathy, and all of that certainly wasn’t worth nothing. But, thankfully, he’d never been through that particular horror firsthand, so he knew he’d never fully get what she was going through.

Not the way someone else who’d experienced it would. Someone like Danny.

Jessica and Danny could give support and understanding to each other that the rest of them, for all their good intentions, just couldn’t provide. He’d hoped that the two of them would be able to talk about it eventually, but he hadn’t expected Jess to take the initiative so soon.

Claire clearly thought it was  _ too _ soon, immediately voicing reservations that Jessica had quickly cut off. And Jess had been right, it had been Danny’s choice to make, though he couldn’t fault Claire her concern. Everything that had happened had likely ramped her mother hen instincts into overdrive.

“You don’t have to worry, Claire,” Matt said after Jess and Danny had disappeared down the hallway. “I know Jessica’s not the most tactful person in the world but she really does care about him a lot. They’ll be okay.”

“But he’s just so… so  _ fragile _ right now,” Claire fretted. “I know Jessica probably means well, but… but it likely wouldn’t take much to push him over the edge again. What if she upsets him into another meltdown?”

“Then he’ll have another meltdown,” Matt said gently. “I know that probably sounds harsh, but… it really is better for him to be getting all these emotions out, right? He’s been bottling all of his trauma up his whole life, which is a huge part of why he’s struggling so much now.”

“I kind of hate to say it, but that’s a good point,” Luke said with a weary sigh. “As terrible as it is to see him in so much pain, this is supposed to be what we wanted from the beginning, isn’t it? For him to be talking and getting things out into the open. It’s supposed to help long-term with the hallucinations and other PTSD symptoms, right? I know it’s bad now,  _ really _ bad... but if the alternative is him never getting any better, never getting any real  _ relief _ from this, then I guess I’ll happily deal with a dozen meltdowns a day.”

“You told him yourself earlier that talking about it could help,” Matt reminded her, not unkindly.

“I know, I know,” Claire said with a sigh. She moved to sit in Danny’s vacated spot on the couch and Luke draped his arm around her shoulders. “And I’m the one who’s been saying from the beginning that things would get worse before they got better. But… I’m really starting to feel like I’m in over my head. I’d anticipated digging up past trauma and dealing with  _ that, _ not dealing with all this… this  _ fresh _ trauma piled on top of it. God, he’s barely even begun to process how Davos abused him when he was younger, and now  _ this _ happens? I… I can’t help but worry that it’s just going to be too much for him. And… and more and more I feel like I’m just completely out of my depth, just stumbling around in the dark, with no real idea of what I’m doing or if any of it is actually helping. What… what if it’s not enough?”

“I know it’s hard seeing him suffer so much,” Matt said softly. “It’s really hard for all of us. But I think maybe you’re putting too much of a burden on yourself as our resident medical professional. None of us expect you to have all of the answers, and I’m sorry if we made you feel that way. Without an actual mental health professional involved we’re  _ all _ kind of stumbling around in the dark, but since I doubt Danny’s any more willing to talk to one now than he was before we’re just going to have to keep doing our best on our own. But that’s on all of us, not just you.”

“You’re… you’re right. Maybe I am seeing this too much as  _ my _ responsibility,” Claire said. “I’m being a terrible mother hen, aren’t I? Jesus, if I’m not careful I’ll start wanting to hide him away from the whole world just like his own mother did,” she added wryly. She looked thoughtful for a moment before sighing heavily and running both of her hands over her face in a gesture that screamed of exhaustion. “I just want to help him. I want to help him and protect him and… and he got snatched out right from underneath our noses and that bastard hurt him so  _ badly, _ as if he hadn’t already done enough damage to him. God.” 

“Which is why I think this might be the best thing for Danny right now,” Matt said. “Jessica’s in a unique position to offer him something none of the rest of us can right now. The understanding that can only come from firsthand experience.”

“God, you’re right,” Claire said with another heavy sigh. “I’m such an idiot. I didn’t even think to look at it that way.”

“You’re caught up in your worry over Danny,” Matt said. “We get it, it’s okay.”

“All of this must be bringing up a lot of painful memories for Jessica,” Colleen said. “I can’t imagine it was easy for her to reach out like that. I know it’ll mean a lot to Danny.”

“It’s been really rough on her,” Matt agreed with a sigh. “I mean, this whole thing has been a nightmare for all of us, but yeah, it’s been really hitting her close to home. And, well, when we did our quick search of the house she… she found the bedroom where it happened.  _ That _ really rattled her.”

“Oh, my God,” Claire breathed. “I… I can’t even imagine.”

“It… it was bad,” Matt said, unable to repress a small shudder. He’d been trying not to think about it. “It… it really rattled me, too.”

Colleen rose from the other couch and moved to sit beside him, taking his hand in hers. He swallowed back the sudden lump in his throat.

“Danny’s not the only one who shouldn’t be bottling things up,” she said softly. “You should get it out, too.”

“Won’t it be… be hard for you to hear?” he asked.

“Of course it will,” she replied. “But this is what families are supposed to do, listen to each other and support each other even when it’s hard.”

Matt couldn’t help but marvel a little that in the span of barely a week they’d all gone from just finally having started calling themselves a team to calling themselves a  _ family, _ almost unconsciously, it seemed. It just… it just felt  _ right. _

And Colleen was right, too. This was what families - good, healthy families, at least - did.

“I… I could smell the blood,” he began hesitantly, the memory still so fresh as to be almost visceral in its intensity. “Blood and sweat and tears and… and semen, all over the bedsheets. More blood on the floor and in the bathroom where the mirror was shattered.” Colleen drew in a sharp breath, her hand clenching his tighter. Matt sensed Luke and Claire shifting closer to each other as well, seeking comfort. “And… and it wasn’t just the smells that I could sense…. Jess asked me if it was crazy to say that she could feel what had happened there in the air, and I explained that strong emotions can linger in the air like perfume. That room… it… it  _ reeked _ of strong emotion. Rage, pain, anguish… just hanging in the air like a fog, smothering me. I can almost still feel it clinging to my skin.” He couldn’t help but shudder again.

“God,” Colleen said, her voice choked with emotion.

“Seconded,” Luke said somberly. “Thank God I didn’t go into the house. I… I don’t know if I could have handled seeing something like that, not without completely losing it. I’m sorry you and Jess went through that.”

Matt nodded his acknowledgement, feeling a bit of his built-up tension seeping away. It seemed like such a simple thing, telling the others, but it really had made him feel a little lighter.

“What about you, Colleen?” he asked, squeezing her hand. “We’re focusing so much on Danny but you were kidnapped, too. You haven’t told us much beyond being forced to have dinner and breakfast with Gao. It… it had to have been horrible.”

“It  _ was _ horrible,” she said, sucking in another sharp breath. He sensed her heart rate kicking up a little as her muscles tensed and he shifted a little closer to her. “It was like I was just a… a  _ stage prop _ for Gao, just there to be used against Danny. I asked her why she’d brought me there and not the others, and she said it was out of respect for a former Hand member, but it was obviously bullshit. And… and she said it wasn’t the others’ ‘time’ yet. That the Iron Fist would see to them himself when the time was right.”

“That’s not ominous at all,” Luke muttered.

“She must be awfully confident in her ability to get Danny completely under her control, if she thinks she’ll be able to use him to take us out someday,” Matt said grimly. It was a frightening thought, not because he thought she might succeed, but because of the damage that would undoubtedly be wrought on Danny as she tried.

“God, Danny would  _ die _ before he ever hurt any of us,” Claire said, aghast. “Before he hurt  _ any _ innocent person. Just… just what the hell does she plan to do to him?”

“Well, it was clear that she didn’t care what  _ Davos _ did to him,” Colleen said bitterly. “She talked a big game about how we were guests and wouldn’t be harmed as long as we behaved but she just  _ let _ that bastard-” She snapped her mouth shut, taking a slow, deep breath as she clearly tried to reign in her emotions.

“It’s okay, take your time,” Matt said gently, squeezing her hand again. Colleen nodded, taking a few more slow breaths before continuing.

“She let that bastard do whatever he wanted to Danny and I couldn’t do  _ anything,” _ she said, her voice cracking. “I woke up strapped to that damned chair in the dining room, and when Davos brought Danny in that first time, even though he didn’t have any visible injuries I could still see it all over his face. That bastard hadn’t wasted any time getting his hands on him.”

Matt grimaced, thinking of the insinuation Davos had made when they’d called him after the attack. Clearly he hadn’t been bluffing.

“And then when dinner was over they took me away. I had to walk out of that room, leaving Danny behind,  _ knowing _ that Davos was going to hurt him again, and there was  _ nothing I could do,  _ because… because I’d already gotten Danny hurt once by trying,” Colleen said brokenly.

“What do you mean?” Matt asked gently, his heart aching for her. Being powerless when someone you loved was being hurt… he didn’t think there could be anything worse than that.

“It was so stupid, but I guess… I guess I was desperate,” Colleen said, wiping at her cheeks where a couple of tears had escaped. “I attacked the guard when I was unstrapped from the chair. I don’t know what I was thinking… Danny was too drugged to fight and we were outnumbered just in that  _ room, _ with who knew how many more soldiers in the house. And Gao… she had one of the guards s-shock Danny with a stun gun. As punishment for  _ my _ misbehaviour.”

“Oh, God,” Claire said, her voice stricken.

“That’s the  _ real  _ reason I was there, I’m sure,” Colleen said bitterly. “As a hostage to Danny’s good behaviour. Because it worked both ways. If one of us did something, the other would be punished for it. This morning I got shocked, too, because apparently Danny tried to attack Davos with a shard from the mirror.”

“Good for him,” Luke said with feeling. “Not, uh, not that I’m glad you got hurt because of it, of course.”

“No, I completely agree,” Colleen said. “I know Danny feels guilty about it but I’m still glad he did it. I… I could almost say I wish he’d sliced the bastard’s throat open, but….”

“But killing Davos would probably destroy Danny, no matter what Davos has done to him,” Matt said grimly. Colleen nodded. 

“He’d… he’d never get over it,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

“As a control tactic it’s certainly effective,” Matt said. “People won’t take risks they might have otherwise when they know it’s someone they love who’ll pay the price for failure, not themselves.”

“Well, it worked,” Colleen muttered darkly. “After that display I had no choice but to let myself be led away from that room, leaving Danny behind with  _ him. _ They locked me in a bedroom in the basement. I… I was up all night, trying to think of a way  _ out.  _ But I didn’t know the layout of the house, or where they were keeping Danny to find him, or how many guards there were, or  _ anything _ useful. It was  _ hopeless. _ But I couldn’t stop trying to think of  _ something, _ because I  _ knew, _ I knew what that bastard was doing to Danny  _ right fucking then, _ and I… I couldn’t do  _ anything  _ to help him, I was completely  _ useless.” _

The dam finally broke and she dissolved into the sobs that Matt suspected she’d been desperately keeping at bay for awhile. He let go of her hand and shifted so that he could wrap his arm around her, pulling her more firmly against him in an embrace. She pressed her face into his shoulder, her whole body shaking with emotion.

“I can’t even imagine how awful that was,” he said softly, rubbing his hand up and down her arm. “But it’s over now and you’re both safe.”

“Oh, sweetie,” Claire said sadly, getting up to come over and sit on Colleen’s other side. “There wasn’t anything  _ anybody _ could have done in that situation. It’s not your fault.”

“I-I know,” Colleen sniffed, turning her face to the side but leaving her head resting on Matt’s shoulder. “But… but, God, it was like  _ torture, _ sitting in that little room all night while I knew Danny was being… being….” Her voice trailed off and then she was crying again. Claire murmured softly to her, stroking her hair.

“I… I think last night was torture for all of us,” Luke said sadly. “We… we all knew what was most likely happening to Danny, and we all felt pretty helpless about it. Jess, Matt, and I, out combing the streets of Queens all night on a thin thread of hope. Claire and Ward, having to just sit here waiting for news. None of us got any rest, and I’m sure none of us could stop thinking about it. It… it was  _ hell.  _ But to have actually been there like that… it had to have been even worse. God, Colleen. I’m so sorry.”

“I think we have to remember that this was an incredibly traumatic experience in one way or another for  _ all _ of us,” Matt said. “Danny may be the one with the most obvious need right now but we have to support each other, too. We… we were hit hard. It’s going to take time.”

“Nothing I’m dealing with can compare with what Danny’s going through,” Colleen murmured, wiping at the tears on her face. They seemed to have subsided again, but her voice was laced with exhaustion. Matt could well imagine how tired she was. They were  _ all _ exhausted. It almost felt ironic to think that Danny was the only one amongst them who’d gotten any sleep since the day before.   
  


“That doesn’t mean you’re not hurting, or that that pain is unimportant,” Claire said gently, still stroking her hair.

“Oh, God, you guys don’t even know yet. The stuff Gao told us about his parents…,” Colleen said, straightening up a little.

Matt felt a swooping rush of dread in his stomach. When Danny had been sleeping earlier she’d confirmed to them that Gao’s interest in Danny stemmed from the story she believed to be a prophecy, but hadn’t elaborated much beyond that at what had been discussed at the two meals they’d shared. No one had really wanted to push, considering how upset and worried she’d been over Danny.

“You mentioned when we were still at the house that Gao had told you things that were going to be terrible for Danny to deal with,” Luke said with a frown.

“Heather really was a member of the Hand,” Colleen said shakily. “Gao made contact with her through society circles and then recruited her after a suicide attempt by telling her about her son’s amazing destiny.”

“Oh… oh, no,” Claire said.

“Danny believed her?” Matt asked, remembering how resistant he’d been to the possibility.

“She was very convincing,” Colleen said grimly.

“Hold on… so she really  _ did _ know even back then that Danny was the one from the prophecy and would someday become the Iron Fist? How is that possible?” Luke asked.

“She said she studied the prophecy in K’un Lun,” Colleen replied. “Apparently she grew up there, and went on her own pilgrimage to the outside world to study other mystical arts, which she then used to… to ‘scry’ for more information over the years, as she put it. Eventually these scryings revealed to her that the one that the prophecy spoke of had been born. She tracked him to New York and then insinuated herself into the Rands’ life.”

“That’s… that’s crazy,” Luke said, his eyes wide.

“Crazy, yes, but it must be true,” Matt said, though he was feeling pretty floored by the revelations himself. “We were wondering how all of this could have tied back to the Rands long before the crash. I can’t think of another explanation. If… if the Hand can bring people back from the dead, maybe it’s really not that much of a stretch to believe that Gao has access to powers like that.”

“More mystical ninja shit,” Claire said tiredly. Matt grimaced in agreement.

“She made it sound like the prophecy was the reason Heather and Wendell were drawn to each other so intensely, because they were  _ destined _ to have Danny,” Colleen continued. Her face crumpled a little, her hands clenching in her lap. “And… and she claimed that when she got pregnant, Heather was so scared that she rather would have had an abortion but Wendell threatened to destroy her life if she did. Gao said he  _ made _ her marry him and then hired the nanny so she wouldn’t have to have anything to do with the baby.”

Stunned silence reigned over them for a long moment.

It… it was such a horrifying thought. Bad enough that they had known she hadn’t been happy about having a baby. But to go so far as to think she might have preferred to have had an abortion rather than to give birth to him….

Matt couldn’t even begin to imagine how devastating that had to have been for Danny to hear. His heart ached for him.

“But… she could have been lying about that, right?” Luke said, a note of cautious hope in his voice.

“She could have been,” Colleen agreed. “Everything she does seems to be designed to mess with Danny’s head and she could easily sprinkle lies in with the truth, especially when we have no way of knowing what the truth is. We can hardly ask the Rands, can we? But I mean, that’s just it. Things like that, we’ll probably never know for sure.  _ Danny _ will probably never know for sure.”

“Her claim that Wendell forced Heather to marry him and keep the baby… that’s why she told Danny that Wendell had no honour all that time ago?” Claire asked. Colleen nodded.

“She… she was just brutal,” Colleen continued, her voice shaking a little. “Going on about Heather’s mental issues, how even though she rejected him she was still miserable, drinking and attempting to kill herself more than once. Meanwhile Danny had to… had to just  _ sit _ there and listen to it with his head already all messed up from that drug.” She paused, frowning. “She… she got him to finally actually acknowledge that Heather had rejected him when he was little, but… but it was almost like a revelation to him, like he hadn’t really remembered.”

“We’ve seen how touchy a subject Heather is for him,” Claire said sadly. “I’ve been wondering if he might be full-out repressing some of his memories of her.”

“I’m… I’m scared to think what  _ else _ he might be repressing,” Colleen said softly. “When the memories he  _ has _ are so damaging… how awful are the ones he’s repressed?”

That was certainly a worrying thought. And not the only one.

“Gao recruiting Heather by telling her about Danny’s great destiny… that’s when she suddenly became overprotective of him, isn’t it?” Matt asked. They’d suspected that she had been involved somehow, based on everything they’d already learned, but he wasn’t too happy about having that suspicion confirmed. Danny’s feelings about his mother were already so complicated, without even factoring in his having repressed memories about her. If he came to believe that she’d only  _ ever _ taken an interest in him because of  _ Gao _ of all people….

It was chilling to contemplate.

“Yes,” Colleen said, and he could tell by the timbre of her voice that she held the same fear. “Gao said finding out her child would one day change the world gave Heather’s life new purpose, but that none of her fear about losing a child had disappeared. She became paranoid that something would happen to him and take away her new reason for living, so she became obsessively overprotective.” She paused for a moment, her lip curling. “Gao had the nerve to claim she’d been concerned about her well-being. She was the one who sent the nurse, Gina.”

“The nurse was Hand, too?” Matt asked, raising his eyebrows.

“And I’m almost positive Gao had her doing something to Heather,” Colleen said, nodding. “Drugging her, or… or using fucking mystical arts on her, I don’t know exactly, but something to  _ keep _ her unstable rather than to help her. Gao didn’t even bother denying it. And… and that instability  _ hurt _ Danny, we all know it did, even if he won’t talk about her ‘moods’ or what would happen during them. It’s obvious it was bad. And Gao may not have been the sole cause of it, but  _ fuck…. _ That… that  _ bitch _ has been screwing with Danny’s life and causing him pain since he was a  _ child.” _

Matt couldn’t help but think that Colleen was likely right in her suspicion. Gao had certainly shown a propensity for liking to mess with people’s minds in her efforts to manipulate and control them.

Which really did mean she’d been causing Danny pain since he was a child. The havoc that she’d wreaked on his life, was  _ still  _ wreaking on his life, in the pursuit of her own selfish agenda… it was infuriating.

Maybe… maybe if Matt had known when he’d first encountered her just how big of a threat she really was, he could have dealt with her properly and at least they wouldn’t have her  _ current _ manipulations to deal with….

But the ‘what if’ game was a dangerous road to go down, he knew.

“How… how does the plane crash tie into this?” Luke asked, frowning. “Gao helped Harold cause it, right? But a member of the Hand was on board, and the kid she believed to be part of her precious prophecy….”

“I thought of the same thing,” Colleen replied. “She said she hadn’t known how Danny would end up in K’un Lun, she’d just had faith that he would somehow. And then when she found out what Harold had planned, and with the timing and the route the plane was taking… she was positive Danny would survive.”

“And… and Heather?” Luke asked, clearly dreading the answer.

Matt tensed as well. With everything that’d they learned, he could well imagine what the answer would be, and it wasn’t good.

“She said Heather was fully aware that the plane was going to crash,” Colleen said, her voice shaking a little. “That she didn’t care that she and Wendell would probably die, as long as Danny was delivered to K’un Lun to fulfill the great destiny Gao had promised for him.”

“Oh, my God,” Claire said, horrified. Luke cursed under his breath, shaking his head.

“And now Danny thinks they died because of him,” Matt said grimly. “That’s… that’s why he said earlier that he should have just died in the crash, too.”

It… it was a  _ lot. _ It seemed like there was no limit on just how much fresh trauma could be piled onto Danny’s plate. A small, cynical voice whispered in the back of his mind that Claire’s fear was right, that it really was just too much for  _ anyone _ to deal with.

But he pushed that voice back. It would be too much for one person alone, maybe. But Danny wasn’t alone.

“I… I’m so scared for him,” Colleen said softly, tears pricking at her eyes again. Matt pulled her closer again by the arm he still had around her shoulders. “He already carries around so much guilt and self-blame about everything that’s happened to him, and he already has s-suicidal feelings sometimes. And now he blames himself for Heather’s instability and suffering, and for both her and Wendell’s  _ deaths,  _ that it was all because of that damned prophecy. When… when he said he wished he’d just died in the crash… God, I… I  _ know _ he meant it, even if it was just in the moment. With… with everything else that’s happened, too… he could… he really might try to….”

“That’s not going to happen,” Claire said firmly. “We won’t _ let _ it.”

“Damn straight,” Luke said vehemently.

“We still have that ‘buddy system’ in place for him,” Matt reminded her. “So for all intents and purposes he’s already on a suicide watch. But we definitely understand your concern. We’re all worried about him. This is going to be a lot to deal with and he was already struggling. But he still has all of us, and we’re going to be here for him every step of the way. And we’re here for you, too,” he added, giving her a gentle squeeze.

“I-I know,” Colleen said, taking a deep breath. “Thank you. The past couple of days have been such a nightmare, I… I shouldn’t let my fear get the better of me like that. We’ll look after him, I know we will.”

“We’re all exhausted,” Matt said gently. “And everyone’s fears can get the better of them sometimes, even under the best of circumstances. It’s going to be okay.”

Colleen nodded, reaching over to take his hand again and give it a grateful squeeze.

“They’ve been in there awhile,” Claire said, glancing towards the hallway. “Do you think they’re okay?”

“Well, I’ve been purposely avoiding eavesdropping to give them their privacy but there’s been no yelling or outbursts so I’m sure they’re fine,” Matt remarked wryly.

“Right,” Claire said with a little groan, rubbing a hand over her face. “I’m doing it again.”

“Being a mother hen is how you show your love,” Matt said. “We all appreciate it.”

“Even when I’m being an overbearing bitch?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Even then, baby,” Luke said, grinning a little.

“The correct answer is that she’s never being a bitch, Luke,” Matt said, grinning as well.

“Gold star for you,” Claire said, reaching over to ruffle his hair. Matt’s grin widened. A little levity was just what they all needed after that heavy conversation.

The sound of the bedroom door opening down the hall caught his attention.

“Looks like you had good timing, anyway,” Matt remarked. The others all straightened up and turned their attention towards the hallway so quickly it almost made him chuckle. But in all honesty he was just as eager to see how Jessica and Danny’s conversation had gone as any of them.

The first thing he noticed was that they were holding hands, which made him smile. Jessica didn’t show physical affection to people easily, so that was definitely a good sign that things had gone well. They both had an… an aura of emotional rawness clinging to them, but also seemed to be carrying themselves a little easier than when they’d gone in. It made him think of how he’d felt a little lighter himself after telling the others about the bedroom in the house.

_ Confession really is good for the soul,  _ he thought wryly.

They also both seemed a little nervous, likely because they anticipated being the center of attention.

Then Danny suddenly drew up short, radiating surprise.

“Uh… what happened to the counter?” he asked. “Did… did that happen when the Hand attacked?”

And Matt suddenly remembered that Luke had smashed a chunk out of the island countertop the day before. Claire or Ward must have cleared away the debris, but there was still a sizable hole that Danny had apparently only just noticed.

“Oh, uh, no,” Luke said, sounding rather sheepish. “That was me. From… from after the attack. Sorry, man. Uh… send me a bill?”

Jessica snorted, and Matt couldn’t help but smile.

“Uh… not necessary, thanks,” Danny said. “But… what happened?”

“I… I was upset,” Luke said, his voice turning more somber. “I was upset and I lashed out. It shouldn’t have happened.”

“O-oh,” Danny said quietly, clearly understanding the unspoken implication - that he’d been upset and worried about Danny and Colleen to the point of losing control of himself.

Colleen extricated herself from between Matt and Claire on the couch and went over to Danny, gripping his free hand.

“Things are… okay?” she asked tentatively.

“Y-yeah,” Danny replied. “I… I feel… better.”

He turned to exchange a look with Jessica and Matt could almost feel the weight of it crackling through the air. Something significant had definitely been exchanged between them.

Jessica gave Danny a nod, releasing his hand before starting to turn towards the couch, but Colleen reached out and snagged her hand, stopping her.

“Thank you,” she said emphatically, her voice heavy with emotion.

Jessica shifted uncomfortably, but there was no hesitation in her voice when she replied.

“Anytime.”

Colleen nodded, letting her go, and Jessica continued over to the couch, sitting down with a heavy sigh next to Matt. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer, and she settled against him easily, without resistance.

“That was very brave,” he said softly, just for her, before kissing her cheek.

“I try,” she said airily.

“It made a difference, I can tell,” Matt said honestly. Undoubtedly there would be more bad episodes to come and he was far from okay, but it was still the most...  _ settled _ Danny had seemed all day.

And… and maybe it was just the exhaustion speaking but he almost could have sworn that he could  _ feel _ the strength of the new bond that had been forged between Danny and Jessica, and how it wouldn’t just make the two of them stronger, but would also help  _ all _ of them grow stronger and closer.

“Yeah. Yeah, it did,” Jessica said, something almost approaching a note of wonder in her voice, and he knew she was talking about herself, too, not just Danny. Matt smiled, a flash of warmth spreading through him.

“I owe you an apology, Jessica,” Claire said from her other side. “I shouldn’t have tried to stop you guys from talking like that.”

Matt sensed Jessica’s surprise, though she recovered quickly.

“No worries,” she said. “I know you were just doing your mother hen thing.”

“Still,” Claire said firmly. “It was rude and presumptuous and I’m sorry.”

“Apology accepted,” Jessica said after a moment. Claire smiled, patting Jessica’s knee before getting up and heading for the kitchen. Jessica watched her go for a moment before turning back to Matt.

“You know what? Maybe we really  _ can _ pull this whole family thing off,” she said, sounding a little amazed.

“Stranger things have happened,” he agreed, pulling her closer.

TBC


	44. Danny

After Jessica went to join Matt on the couch, Colleen slid her arms around Danny’s waist, pulling him close, and he wrapped his arms around her to return the embrace. He sighed, closing his eyes and resting his chin on top of her head for a moment, just enjoying her closeness. What with his breakdown and its aftermath and everything else that had been going on they hadn’t actually had much chance to be affectionate with each other since they’d been rescued, and of course they hadn’t been able to touch at all while they’d been being held.

 

“How are you doing?” he asked her softly, pulling back a little so that he could look at her.

 

“I’m… tired,” she said. “But I’ll be okay. It’s all been kind of… a lot. For all of us.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Danny said sadly, brushing a lock of her hair back behind her ear. Her mouth twisted into a rueful smile.

 

“How many times do we have to tell you this isn’t your fault?” she asked gently.

 

“Probably at least a few more times,” he replied, smiling a little as well.

 

It really was almost a knee-jerk reaction at that point, apologizing for everything that was happening. Sometimes he could manage to see, at least from a purely intellectual standpoint, why the others would feel he wasn’t to blame. When he wasn’t caught up in one of his irrational, anxious spirals, he could even maybe start to believe it himself. But he was just so _used_ to feeling responsible for everything. And especially when it involved something so personal, like Davos… it was going to be a hard thing to try to move away from.

 

Colleen leaned up to plant a soft kiss on his lips. Then she blinked in surprise, smiling.

 

“You taste like whiskey,” she chuckled.

 

“Jessica shared. It was… medicinal,” he said wryly. She chuckled again before her face sobered a little.

 

“The.. the talk with Jess… it really did help?” she asked.

 

“It did,” Danny said, nodding. It still felt a little unreal that the talk had even _happened,_ but that it had shifted something fundamental inside him he had no doubt. “She… she understands.” He frowned a little, suddenly worried that Colleen might be hurt that he hadn’t… hadn’t _confided_ in her first. She seemed to read his thoughts, hugging him tighter for a moment.

 

“Don’t worry, I’m not jealous or anything like that,” she said. “I’m happy she was able to help you. Well, maybe _happy_ isn’t really the appropriate word, considering, but you know what I mean.” She paused for a moment, looking at him thoughtfully. “I’m sure you’re going to be able to help her, too.”

 

His first instinct was to deny it, that there was no way he’d ever be able to repay the gift that Jessica had just given him. But… but Jessica had said it herself. That she knew she could come to him if she needed to. That they had each other’s backs.

 

“I hope so,” he said.

 

They both looked up as Claire joined them in the kitchen.

 

“You’re good?” Claire asked, putting a hand on his arm.

 

“Yeah,” Danny replied with a small smile. “About… about as good as can be expected, I guess. Things feel… kind of fragile, still, and… and honestly it probably wouldn’t take much to… to send me spiralling again, but for the moment, at least, I’m… I’m steady.”

 

“That’s all anybody can ask for,” Claire said with a small smile, giving his arm a squeeze. “Would you guys like some tea? Maybe something to eat?”

 

“Tea would be great,” Colleen said. “Do you need help?”

 

“I got it,” Claire replied. “Danny?”

 

“I’ll have some tea, but… but it wasn’t that long ago that I had the sandwich. I don’t think I could eat anymore yet,” he said apologetically.

 

“That’s okay. You’re right, it hasn’t been that long,” Claire said reassuringly. “Why don’t you guys go sit?” She gave his arm another squeeze before letting go and moving towards the kettle.

 

Danny and Colleen headed into the living room and Luke welcomed them with a grin, gesturing in invitation at the space next to him. Danny settled down next to him and a warm flush spread through him when Luke casually draped his arm around his shoulders. Colleen curled up next to him on his other side and he almost wished he could freeze that moment in time so he could cherish the feeling forever, pressed close and safe between two people who would never hurt him.

 

Suddenly there was the buzzing of a phone, which made Danny’s heart leap into his throat before he remembered a second later that it couldn’t be his.

 

_“Foggy, Foggy, Foggy,”_ a synthesized voice announced. Matt dug his phone out of his pocket, disentangling himself from Jessica to rise to his feet.

 

“Hey, man. What’s up?” he said as he headed down the hallway to speak privately.

 

Jessica eyed the laptop she’d been working on earlier where it was sitting on the coffee table, the one they’d taken from the Hand house.

 

“Ugh. Back at it, I guess,” she said, though she made no move to pick it up. Danny could see dark circles under her eyes. She looked exhausted. They all did.

 

“I know looking for new leads is important, but maybe you guys should take a break? You need to look after yourselves, too,” he suggested.

 

“Sounds like a good idea to me,” Luke said. “It might be better to go through it with fresh eyes in the morning, after you’ve had some sleep.”

 

“Man, I’m not gonna argue with that,” Jessica replied, sinking back into the couch and rubbing a hand over her face. “I am _so_ freaking beat.”

 

“It’s been a long couple of days,” Luke agreed with a sigh. “But it’s over.”

 

“For now,” Danny found himself saying. It was a rather pessimistic thought, maybe, but an accurate one. Neither Davos or Gao were going to give up and leave him be. He couldn’t suppress a small shudder and Luke’s hold around his shoulders tightened a little. He smiled at him gratefully.

 

Matt came back into the room, sliding his phone into his pocket and settling back down next to Jessica. She snuggled into his side almost like a cat and Danny couldn’t help but grin a little at the sight.

 

“Foggy needs to drop by to see you tomorrow, Danny,” Matt said as he draped his arm around Jessica’s shoulders. “Apparently the Lotte’s owners were very happy with your offer, and they’re eager to get it all settled as soon as possible. He needs to go over the details and have you sign some papers. He also has other papers and stuff about Rand and your charitable foundations that need your attention.”

 

“That should be fine,” Danny said. “He’s already registered with security, so they should let him in.”

 

“Actually, Ward’s new security people have some extra protocols in place,” Claire said as she came into the living room and set down a tray of steaming mugs on the coffee table before starting to hand them out. “Even after his security registration is confirmed they’ll still call up for approval and then he’ll be escorted up here as well.”

 

“Oh,” Danny said, blinking. “That’s… that’s probably smart.”

 

It was a thought that had been hovering a little at the back of his mind, though he’d been trying not to give it much attention. The idea that they were no longer safe in the penthouse, now that it had been violated by the Hand. But the dojo had been attacked before, more than once, and it still represented home and safety to him. He didn’t want to let the Hand taint the penthouse, either.

 

“Foggy was actually kind of amused that for the second time in a row that he’s tried to reach you, your number was going straight to voicemail because your phone was destroyed,” Matt remarked wryly.

 

“Oops,” Jessica said, still not sounding sorry.

 

“R-right,” Danny said, his heart skipping a beat at the memory. Thinking of the call and Davos’ likely reaction to Jessica’s tirade was definitely a road he didn’t want to go down just then. “I… I guess I’m going to have to take care of that. Other people might need to reach me, too, like Ward or Joy.”

 

“I already texted Ward to let him know you’re phone-less again,” Colleen said. “He’s going to use my number as our point of contact for now. He gave it to security, too, for approving visitors.”

 

“Is he going to have a new one sent over?” Danny asked.

 

“Well… we were thinking maybe we should wait a bit on that?” Colleen said tentatively. “He… he got the number so quickly last time….”

 

“And it’s not that we don’t trust _you,”_ Luke said quickly. “We won’t stop you if you really want one now, or… or interfere if you decide you… you want to respond to any efforts of his to communicate once you have one.” He shot Jessica a look at that and she just raised her eyebrows in a look of mock innocence.  “But… maybe a… a cooling off period where you just don’t have to deal with it at all would be a good idea?”

 

Danny bit his lip as he thought it over. He didn’t like the idea of not having a phone, of people like Ward or Joy having to go through a proxy to contact him. But it wasn’t like he was going to be caught in a situation where he couldn’t still be reached since at least two of the others were always with him. He was also going to need to catch up on his Rand emails soon, though he supposed he could use Colleen’s laptop for that.

 

And he couldn’t deny the appeal of just… not having to worry about the possibility of Davos calling or texting him, at least for a few days. He couldn’t really fathom how he might cope - or _not_ cope - with that if it were to happen again any time soon. A ‘cooling off period’, as Luke had called it, was likely a good idea.

 

“Okay,” he finally agreed. “I’ll wait a couple of days before asking Ward to send a new one.”

 

Danny could practically feel the wave of relief that washed over the others, and was a little surprised to find that it warmed him rather than irritated him. Not that long ago he would have been convinced that the real reason they didn’t want him to have a phone was, as Luke had denied, that they didn’t trust him. But he realized with a small sense of wonder that he wasn’t feeling any doubt that it was because they were _worried_ about him, because they were concerned about Davos causing him more pain.

 

Somehow, it finally seemed to be sinking in that _all_ of them were his family now, not just Colleen. That they cared about him just as much as he cared about them.

 

He warned himself not to get too complacent with the feeling. He knew his traitorous brain could spin off into irrational negativity and doubt again with little prompting.

 

But it was progress. The thought made him smile.

 

Matt started to reach for the laptop he’d been working on earlier but Jessica swatted at his arm.

 

“We’ve decided to take a break,” she told him. “Look at it with fresh eyes in the morning. So to speak.”

 

“Sounds good to me,” Matt said with a chuckle, sitting back against the couch.

 

“Sounds _fabulous_ to me,” Claire said. “We can put off discussing everything Colleen told us about Gao’s revelations until tomorrow, too, unless anyone has any objections. I think it’d do us _all_ good to get some rest before we tackle it. We can put on a stupid movie and just… decompress for awhile. As tired as I am I still feel like I’m probably still too wired to sleep.”

 

“That sounds like a good idea, too,” Matt agreed. “I’ll fill you in on what you missed later,” he added, addressing Jess, who nodded.

 

Danny tensed a little at the mention of Gao and what she’d told them. Colleen must have told Luke and Claire about it while he and Jess had been in the bedroom. He’d been avoiding thinking about it as much as possible since his breakdown earlier, the whole subject feeling like a raw wound in his very soul.

 

He couldn’t deal with it then. He just couldn’t. Maybe not ever.

 

_“You cannot avoid the truth forever, Mr. Rand,”_ Gao’s mocking voice said.

 

Danny froze, a shiver of unease crawling down his spine. He’d… he’d never hallucinated her before. As awful as hearing or seeing Davos or Lei Kung always was, it was still extremely disconcerting in its own way to hear someone else on those rare occasions when it happened. Static started to needle in at the edges of his mind and he could feel his pulse begin to quicken.

 

“Hey,” Luke said softly, pulling him closer. “You’re okay. We won’t talk about it until tomorrow. Unless… unless you think you need to, that it would help?”

 

“N-not now,” Danny said quickly. “I _can’t._ I’m not… I’m not ready.”

 

“Then we won’t,” Colleen said, rubbing his arm gently. “Not until you’re ready. It’s okay, Danny.”

 

He nodded, closing his eyes and concentrating on taking deep, steady breaths until his heartbeat had calmed and the tension bled from his muscles. She was right, he was _safe,_ with her pressed in close on one side and Luke holding him close from the other, and the others there with them, too.

 

It was okay. Everything was _okay._

 

The static receded.

 

“T-thank you,” he said, opening his eyes. “I’m okay now. No… no breakdown incoming, I promise.” He tried to smile at that but it felt rather weak. It really was rather disheartening that any sense of stability he managed to achieve was always so tenuous, threatening to fall away at any moment.

 

But… it would get better. The others kept saying it, so he had to try to believe it. To think anything else, to believe that he might spend the rest of his life never more than half a step away from falling apart, was too terrible to contemplate. He couldn’t give in to despair and madness, not while he had any strength left to fight it.

 

_“And when you no longer have the strength left to fight it?”_ Davos’ voice sneered.

 

Danny grit his teeth and ignored him.

 

“Okay, well… any votes on a movie?” Claire asked as she picked up the remote from the coffee table and turned on the TV.

 

“I don’t care,” Jessica said. “Just… something mindless and stupid.”

 

“Agreed,” Matt said. “I think we’d all like to be able to just turn our brains off for awhile.”

 

Claire opened up the Netflix app and started browsing through the menu, picking a recent blockbuster action movie seemingly at random and turning on the descriptive audio for Matt’s benefit. When she went to take a seat in the free space next to Jessica, Colleen held out her hand in invitation.

 

“We can make room. Scoot closer guys,” she said. Luke obligingly shifted as far as he could against the arm of the couch, pulling Danny along with him, and Colleen shifted over as close as she could to Danny, leaving just enough room for Claire to squeeze in on the end, wrapping her arm around Colleen’s shoulders as she did so.

 

“This is… cozy,” she laughed once she was settled.

 

Cozy indeed. The four of them were all pressed so closely together that by all rights it should probably have been uncomfortable but Danny found it strangely… grounding. Unfamiliar emotion swelled in his chest.

 

_You’re happy, dumbass,_ a voice whispered in the back of his mind. _That’s happiness you’re feeling._

 

It wasn’t something he’d been feeling a lot of recently.

 

“I see how it is,” Jessica groused, though there was an uncharacteristically playful tone in her voice. “Matt and I are just chopped liver over here, huh?”

 

“Don’t worry, we’ll always have each other,” Matt laughed, planting a kiss on top of her head.

 

“I guess we need a bigger couch,” Luke chuckled.

 

“First item on the furniture shopping list for after we renovate the dojo, a giant couch,” Colleen said with a grin.

 

“Alright, children, settle down,” Claire said with mock sternness, pressing play on the remote.

 

They lapsed into a comfortable silence as the movie started to play. Danny tried to focus on it but found his mind circling back again and again to Colleen’s comment about the dojo. It brought to mind a... a _comforting_ image, of them all just casually hanging out together at the dojo, with no crisis hanging over their heads. Just spending time together because they wanted to. Because they were family.

 

It made his heart ache with want.

 

Less than ten minutes into the movie Danny noticed that Jessica’s head had fallen against Matt’s shoulder and her breathing was deep and even. She’d fallen asleep. Colleen followed soon after, nestled against Claire’s side with one of Danny’s hands clasped in hers in her lap. Despite the hours of sleep he’d gotten earlier, he soon found that his own eyelids were feeling heavy and he let himself drift, slumping more against Luke’s side….

 

~~~

 

_“Time for another lesson,” Davos snarled._

 

_Danny’s heart thundered in his chest, panic threatening to overtake him as pain radiated through his face where he’d been struck._

 

_“D-Davos… please…,” he said, hating the plaintive tone in his voice. But he couldn’t help it. He felt so weak and his mind was all muddled and he_ **_knew_ ** _what was about to happen. He knew and there was nothing he could do to stop it and he was_ **_scared._ **

 

_“You need to learn your place,” Davos barked, hitting him again and sending him falling back against the mattress despite his efforts to rise. And then Davos was on him, snarling and punching, hitting him again and again, in the face, in the ribs, in the stomach, until his vision was blurry and the taste of blood was thick in his mouth. He tried to block the blows as best he could but his leaden limbs were practically useless._

 

_“This is what you deserve,” Davos hissed as he continued to beat him. “You abandoned K’un Lun. My father could be_ **_dead_ ** _because of you. You_ **_stole_ ** _the Fist from me. But it’s_ **_mine. You’re_ ** _mine. One way or another, you’re going to_ **_learn_** _._ _”_

 

_Hands were suddenly working at the front of Danny’s pants, undoing the button and pulling down the zipper._

 

_“No! Stop!” Danny begged, trying to push the hands away. No, no, no, no, no, this couldn’t be happening, it_ **_couldn’t._ ** _“Davos, y-you’re supposed to be my brother.”_

 

_“I_ **_am_ ** _your brother,” Davos hissed, yanking at his pants, “You’re the one who betrayed that bond, not me.”_

 

_Despite his struggles Danny’s pants and underwear were being pulled down over his hips. Desperately he reached for his chi, clinging to the hope that the pain from the beating had cleared the fog of the drugs enough to allow him to focus as it had when the patients at Birch had attacked him, but it was just as inaccessible as ever._

 

_And then his pants and underwear were gone and Davos was gripping his shoulder, turning him roughly over onto his stomach._

 

_“Stop, Davos, please!” Danny cried, trying to push himself up. Davos easily shoved him back down, quickly unzipping his own pants before climbing up over him, his weight settling on Danny’s back, his knees forcing Danny’s legs apart. Danny’s heart thundered in his chest, his breath coming in desperate gasps as panic threatened to completely overtake him._

 

_“I know you want this,” Davos hissed into his ear, moving to wrap one hand around Danny’s throat, pulling his head back just enough to force his back to arch a little. “You know you want it, too, just admit it.”_

 

_“I don’t, I_ **_don’t_** _,_ _” Danny denied desperately, his fingers scrabbling uselessly at the sheets. Davos ignored him, shifting back a little before Danny heard him spit. Some more shifting and then Davos was_ **_there,_ ** _forcing himself into Danny’s body without having done anything further to prepare him._

 

_He was being split apart. It hurt so much he wanted to_ **_die._ **

 

_Danny choked back a scream, refusing to let it out. And then Davos’ grip on his throat was tightening and he couldn’t have screamed anyway._

 

_“You’re_ **_mine,_ ** _Danny. This is where you belong, where you’re meant to be,” Davos panted. He was all the way inside, a sharp, burning agony splitting Danny to his core. He wanted to voice some protest, some denial of Davos’ words, but he couldn’t get breath to speak._

 

_And then Davos started to move…._

 

~~~

 

Danny jerked awake violently, gasping for breath.

 

He felt people move suddenly on either side of him and flinched away instinctively, falling to the floor. Panicked disorientation swept through him, the blood rushing in his ears. There was more movement around him, voices raised in alarm.

 

_No, no, no, no, no, no, no, he didn’t want it, he didn’t_ **_want_ ** _it…._

 

“Danny?” a voice asked tentatively. “Danny, it was just a dream, you’re okay.”

 

“Stop, please, I don’t want to, I don’t _want_ to!” he begged, their words not registering at all. He tried to scramble away but his back hit an obstacle, trapping him. His breath was coming in harsh pants, his lungs not wanting to fill with air.

 

“Oh, God,” another voice said, heavy with emotion.

 

Someone crouched in front of him and he cringed away, shame and fear and pain choking him.

 

“Danny, listen to me,” the person said. “Listen to the sound of my voice. You’re safe, Danny, you hear me? You’re safe. Just breathe.” Danny found his breathing starting to ease almost unconsciously, the voice deep and rumbling and familiar. “That’s it. Keep breathing. You’re okay, Danny, I promise. We’re all here with you. You’re safe.”

 

“L-Luke?” Danny asked shakily, the panicked fog slowly clearing from his mind.

 

“Yeah, that’s right,” Luke said. “It’s me. You’re in the penthouse with us and you’re safe.” He reached out and gently clasped Danny’s shoulder. Danny flinched a little but when Luke started to pull his hand back he quickly reached up to grab it, holding it there. It felt like an anchor, grounding him.

 

“S-sorry,” Danny said, blinking through the last clinging cobwebs of disorientation. He was sitting on the floor, his back pressed against the armchair next to the couch from when he’d blindly tried to scramble away. Luke was crouched in front of him, the others standing spread out behind him, various looks of concern and worry on their faces. “Sorry,” he said again. His whole body was trembling with the aftershocks of adrenaline, making him feel queasy.

 

“It’s okay, man,” Luke said softly, squeezing his shoulder. “Everyone has bad dreams.”

 

Danny could have almost laughed at that, and suddenly it wasn’t just the adrenaline that was making him feel queasy. It hadn’t just been a bad dream. It had been… it had been….

 

“Hey, Danny, keep breathing, okay?” Luke said, and Danny realized his lungs had started to seize up again. “Deep breath in, deep breath out. C’mon, you can do it.”

 

Danny struggled to obey, clinging on to Luke’s hand on his shoulder like a lifeline. Luke reached forward for his other hand and he clasped it gratefully. Finally his breathing evened out again, but he still felt shaky.

 

He looked around dazedly, noticing the screensaver playing on the TV and the darkness outside the windows. The digital clock on the TV cable box read 2:07 am. They must have all fallen asleep watching the movie.

 

Until Danny had woken them all up with his nightmare, that is.

 

Colleen approached and crouched down next to Luke, putting her hand on Danny’s other shoulder.

 

“Why don’t we go to bed and you can try to get more sleep? You still look exhausted,” she suggested gently.

 

“I… I need a s-shower…,” Danny found himself saying, not really sure where the thought had come from, but then he could _feel_ it. The grimy, filthy, _stained_ sensation crawling all over his skin.

 

Colleen and Luke looked perplexed by his statement for a moment before Colleen at least seemed to realize its significance, her face crumpling a little.

 

“Danny…,” she said sadly, her voice trailing off as if she didn’t know what else to say.

 

Jessica came forward, crouching down next to him. He was starting to feel a little ridiculous, on the floor with all of them crouched around him, but couldn’t deny that somehow their proximity was comforting, too. Jess looked at him steadily for a moment before speaking.

 

“It won’t help, but you know that already, don’t you?” she said evenly.

 

She was right, of course. When he’d showered at the house that morning, he’d been able to wash away the blood and other things but the _stain_ had remained, intangible and rooted in his very soul.

 

“I… I know,” he said miserably. They looked at each other silently for a long moment, something unnameable passing between them.

 

“I’m sure you also know that it’s not going to be the last dream like that that you have,” Jessica finally continued. “It’s fucking horrible, almost like… almost like you’re living through it all over again. I’m not going to tell you that they’re just dreams and that they can’t hurt you because they _do_ hurt. They can hurt a fucking lot. All you can do is remind yourself that it’s over, that you’re safe. And that you’re strong enough to keep going despite them.”

 

“O-okay,” Danny said, swallowing back the lump in his throat. “Thank you, Jess.” She nodded in acknowledgement.

 

“Colleen’s right,” she said. “The best thing to do is probably just to go to bed and try to get more sleep.” She straightened up and held her hand out invitation. Luke and Colleen rose up as well.

 

Danny accepted Jessica’s hand and let her help him climb shakily to his feet. Then he impulsively pulled her into a tight hug, which she returned without hesitation. They stood like that for another long moment, no words passing between them. They didn’t need them.

 

When they finally stepped back from each other Danny looked around, seeing that while they’d been otherwise occupied the TV had been turned off and everyone’s mugs cleared away from the coffee table. Claire’s doing, no doubt.

 

They all headed down the hallway towards the bedrooms, but when Luke went to open the door to the guestroom he and Claire had been sharing Danny reached out and took his hand.

 

“Come with us, both of you,” he said tentatively. “Please?”

 

“It’ll be another cozy situation, but it’s doable,” Colleen said, smiling.

 

Luke blinked at them in surprise before turning to look at Claire. She nodded in agreement, smiling as well.

 

“Well, alright then,” Luke said. “Just let us get changed and stuff and we’ll be right in.” He and Claire disappeared into their room.

 

Danny turned to look at Jessica and Matt, feeling a little guilty, but Jess just chuckled a little.

 

“Hey, I’m really happy for all of you but I don’t think I’m ready for a puppy pile just yet,” she said.

 

“Yet?” Matt asked, grinning. She rolled her eyes, swatting him on the shoulder.

 

“Another item for the shopping list, a giant bed,” Colleen stage-whispered to Danny.

 

“Good night, guys,” Matt laughed, and he and Jessica disappeared into their room as well.

 

Danny and Colleen didn’t speak much as they got ready for bed. Danny felt drained right down to the bone, both from exhaustion and from the lingering effects of the dream. He knew Jessica was right, that there would be more like it, and the thought filled him with dread. But there was nothing to be done except to deal with them as best as he could when they came.

 

And he knew he wouldn’t have to do it alone.

 

Luke and Claire came in a short while later, and Danny thought maybe it would be awkward, arranging four people in one bed, but by some kind of unspoken agreement Danny and Colleen settled in the middle, with Luke spooned up behind Danny and Claire spooned up behind Colleen. It was definitely cozy, as Colleen had said, but it worked.

 

Despite the echoes of the dream clinging to the back of his mind, Danny felt a sense of peace settling over him, safe in the arms of people who loved him and would never hurt him.

 

It wasn’t long at all before he was asleep again.

 

TBC

 


	45. Luke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It feels pretty unreal that with this chapter this fic is crossing the 200,000 word mark. ^^ Huge thanks to everyone who's commented and/or left kudos along the way, the support has really meant a lot to me! <3

Luke blinked awake slowly, dimly aware that something was tickling his nose. There was enough early morning light filtering in through the blinds for him to see with a smile that it was Danny’s hair. Sometime during the night he’d shifted until his head was practically buried in the crook of Luke’s neck, his whole body pressed up against him and one arm thrown over his chest as if he’d been trying to get as close to him as possible.

 

A soft sound caught his attention and he looked past Danny to see that Claire and Colleen were already awake, Claire leaning over Colleen and kissing her softly while Colleen stroked a hand through Claire’s hair. He smiled, watching them for awhile until Claire noticed that his eyes were open. She pulled back from Colleen, smiling.

 

“Enjoying the show?” she asked softly.

 

“Definitely,” Luke grinned, keeping his voice low as well. “And don’t stop on my account.”

 

Luke’s breath caught in his chest when Danny twitched a little, but he didn’t wake, instead pressing his face more firmly against Luke’s throat, shuffling even closer to him with a sigh. Both Colleen and Claire grinned in amusement at the sight.

 

“He’s always been an aggressive sleep snuggler,” Colleen said quietly, obvious fondness in her voice.

 

“Could be because of being starved for affection for so much of his life,” Claire mused with a note of sadness.

 

Luke’s left bicep was pinned under Danny’s shoulder, but he still had enough freedom of movement to lift his hand to settle against the small of Danny’s back, surprised to encounter a sliver of bare skin where his t-shirt had ridden up.

 

That little sliver of skin was… intriguing.

 

Without making a conscious decision to do so, Luke found his hand sliding up under Danny’s shirt until he was touching nothing but bare skin. He would almost have expected it to feel strange, touching another man’s body like that, but the last few days had certainly dramatically shifted his perspective on such things.

 

Touching Danny felt like the most natural thing in the world.

 

He continued to run his hand lightly up Danny’s back, enjoying the feel of the soft, smooth skin, until his fingers suddenly encountered something that wasn’t quite so smooth. A raised ridge of scar tissue. A moment later he found another one. And then another. He frowned.

 

“He… he has a lot of scars,” he said softly.

 

“Yeah,” Colleen agreed sadly. “K’un Lun.”

 

Luke’s frown deepened as he thought about it, remembering a couple of days ago when Danny had been lost in a memory, young and terrified and begging not to be punished. And... and those punishments hadn’t been the only thing he’d endured in K’un Lun, had they? There had been training and tournaments and challenges… all of it likely more brutal and harsh than Luke dared to contemplate.

 

How Danny had managed to emerge from such a place with such a pure and caring heart would probably never cease to amaze him.

 

He thought of his own bulletproof skin that was unlikely to ever bear a new scar again and almost wished he could share that power with Danny retroactively, so that he didn’t have to have reminders of everything he’d been through painted all over his body. Even with his current ability to use chi to heal, it just speeded up the process, it didn’t erase that the injury had happened. He’d noticed when Danny’d healed himself the day before that the worst of the cuts on his face had still left behind the faint traces of scars. They’d surely continue to fade with time, but they’d still been there.

 

It sent a curl of unease through Luke’s gut, thinking of just how… how _breakable_ all of the others were, not just Danny. It almost made him feel guilty.

 

Luke was pulled from his dark thoughts when Danny shifted again, murmuring softly. And then his eyes were blinking open and he looked sleepily up at Luke.

 

“Morning,” Luke said, grinning. He kept his hand running slowly up and down Danny’s back, his touch growing a little firmer now that he was no longer asleep.

 

Danny blinked at him a few more times, and then a smile slowly spread across his face, his cheeks flushing a little.

 

It was one of the most beautiful things Luke had ever seen, sending a warm tingle through his blood.

 

“Morning,” Danny said, sounding almost shy. And then he was leaning up to place a soft kiss on Luke’s lips.

 

Luke hummed appreciatively, his right hand coming up to run through Danny’s curls as he deepened the kiss. Danny responded enthusiastically, shifting even closer until he was almost completely draped over top of Luke. Luke kept caressing his back, his hand dipping down lower every time, tantalizingly close to the swell of Danny’s ass.

 

Eventually they had to break apart for air, and it was at that point that Danny seemed to remember the girls’ presence. They’d been watching the whole time, Claire propped up on her elbow behind Colleen, her other arm wrapped around Colleen’s waist, her hand clasped in hers. Danny’s flush deepened even more.

 

“Morning,” he said to them with a sheepish grin.

 

“Morning,” Colleen laughed, leaning up to plant a relatively chaste kiss on his lips before lying back down against Claire. Claire smiled, leaning forward for a kiss as well, and Danny obliged, leaning in to meet her.

 

Luke was pretty sure it was the first for them. His heart felt like it was swelling in his chest as he watched them press their lips together, Claire stroking her hand through Danny’s hair before she leaned back and took Colleen’s hand again.

 

God, he loved them so much. All of them.

 

Danny looked back at him, his eyes shining, and Luke didn’t hesitate to pull him back down into another involved, enthusiastic kiss.

 

Luke wasn’t sure exactly how long it went on for, but it felt like they’d been lazily making out for quite some time when Danny suddenly froze, pulling back a little with a strange look on his face. It only took Luke a moment to realize what had happened. As they’d been kissing he’d slowly been getting hard, and Danny’s hip had just shifted so that he’d felt it.

 

Damn. Considering recent events, Danny had every reason to feel… _skittish_ about such things.

 

“Hey,” Luke said softly, brushing his thumb over Danny’s cheek. “You’re safe here. Nothing’s going to happen that you don’t want. We can stop right now.”

 

“No, I… I’m fine,” Danny said. “It’s fine.” But Luke saw the way he swallowed nervously, could feel how his heart was starting to pound where he was still laying against Luke’s chest.

 

Danny was scared, and trying to convince himself he wasn’t.

 

“You don’t have to push yourself,” Luke said gently. “It’s okay to be nervous.” He glanced at the others, both of whom’s expressions had turned solemn, but Claire just gave him a nod, letting him take the lead. If they all started dogpiling on him at once Danny was likely to get overwhelmed.

 

“I’m… I’m _fine,”_ Danny said insistently. “We can… I can… if you want….” He gestured towards where Luke’s erection was tenting the sheets. Luke wasn’t sure exactly what it was Danny seemed to be offering to do, but whatever it was he clearly wasn’t ready for it, judging by the way he was obviously growing more anxious by the moment. He wouldn’t quite meet Luke’s eyes and his breathing was starting to become a little uneven. Luke could feel a slight tremor running through his frame.

 

“Danny, look at me,” Luke said, cupping his face. When Danny’s eyes finally met his his heart nearly broke at the apprehension he could see shining in them. “I don’t think you’re ready, and that’s okay. There’s no rush. Let’s just slow it down, okay?”

 

Danny stared at him for a long moment, a myriad of emotions playing over his face, before he finally seemed to deflate, slumping back down against Luke and burying his face against his shoulder.

 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled miserably.

 

“Hey, man, no apology necessary,” Luke said, reaching up to cup the back of his head, running his fingers through his hair. Colleen reached over to start rubbing Danny’s back, a sad look on her face. “Even if all we ever do is kiss, that’s still pretty damned amazing.”

 

“I… I don’t want him to ruin this,” Danny said, his voice heavy with emotion.

 

“He won’t,” Luke said firmly. No need to ask who it was he was talking about. “He has nothing to do with what we feel about each other. This is about you and your own… self-determination. None of us ever want you to force yourself to do something you’re uncomfortable with, just to please us. Sex should always be enjoyable for everyone involved.”

 

“Amen to that,” Claire said.

 

“I… I _do_ want to, though, with you.... I just…,” Danny said, his voice trailing off as if he couldn’t find the words to explain what he was feeling.

 

“It’s just too soon, Danny,” Colleen said gently. “Just because you’re not ready right now it doesn’t mean you’ll never be. Give yourself some time.”

 

Danny nodded against Luke’s shoulder, sighing. They all lay in silence for a few long moments, Luke still running his fingers through Danny’s hair.

 

And then Luke’s stomach growled. Loudly.

 

There was another second of stunned silence and then Danny, Colleen, and Claire were all giggling. Like children. Luke couldn’t help but grin, an almost overwhelming wave of love and affection for them washing over him.

 

“Yeah, yeah, hilarious,” he laughed. “I bet you’re all starving, too.”

 

“I guess we probably should get up, as much as I like the idea of laying around in bed with you guys all day,” Claire said, grinning.

 

Somewhat reluctantly they all disentangled themselves and got out of the bed.

 

“I think I could use a shower before breakfast,” Colleen commented, running a hand through her hair with a slight grimace.

 

“Mind if I join you?” Danny asked.

 

“Of course not,” she smiled. Then she turned a speculative eye towards Claire, who just laughed before leaning in to kiss her.

 

“The showers here are roomy, but not that roomy,” she said. “Luke and I will use the one in our room and meet you guys in the kitchen after.” She turned to hug and kiss Danny, too, running a hand through his hair affectionately.

 

Luke stepped forward to kiss first Colleen and then Danny again as well, gently cupping his cheek.

 

“You good?” he asked softly.

 

“Yeah,” Danny replied, his cheeks flushing a little as he smiled. “Thanks, Luke.” Luke could hear the sincerity in it and it made him a little sad, to think that Danny should feel so grateful over something that should have been a given - that he wouldn’t be taken advantage of when he wasn’t ready.

 

Luke followed Claire back to the guest room, where they both shed their clothes before heading into the ensuite bathroom.

 

“I… I really didn’t like how he was going to just force himself to continue when he was clearly starting to get upset,” he found himself saying to Claire as she turned on the shower.

 

“Me, either,” she said. “But… it’s not really surprising, I guess. His only experience with another man was that bastard, and… and even putting aside what just happened with him, their history is full of Davos ignoring his wishes and pushing him to do things he didn’t want to do. It’s… it’s what he’s used to.”

 

“Should… should we even be doing this at all?” Luke asked worriedly. “Maybe we should put the brakes on everything for awhile, at least until things… settle down. I don’t think I’d ever forgive myself if I ever did that to him, even unknowingly.”

 

“Honey, I don’t think you’re _capable_ of taking advantage of someone like that,” Claire said gently, taking his hand and pulling him into the shower stall with her. “You noticed right away when he got uncomfortable, didn’t you? And I think you handled it really well.”

 

“I hope so,” Luke said uncertainly.

 

“The fact that you’re so worried about it means you’re unlikely to do it,” Claire said, running her hands up and down his arms in a comforting gesture. “And… and I think if we told him we didn’t want to do _anything_ for awhile, he’d likely take it the wrong way. We should let him set the pace as much as we can. Kissing and some touching has been okay so far.”

 

“Better than okay,” Luke grinned. “And you’re right, he didn’t start getting upset until, well…,” he glanced down at his erection, which showed no signs of abating. Claire grinned as well, wrapping her arms around him and leaning up to capture his lips in a kiss.

 

Luke suddenly became very, very aware that they hadn’t had sex since the whole situation with Danny and Davos had begun, about a week ago.

 

Claire certainly seemed to be on the same page, her hands traveling over his skin as the water cascaded down around them. He gripped her hips, turning her to press her back against the tile wall, his mouth leaving her lips to travel down over her throat, nibbling and suckling at the places that he knew from experience would drive her wild. She moaned appreciatively, one of her hands moving down to grip his cock and begin to stroke it.

 

His right hand moved to probe between her legs, his thumb finding her clit and starting to circle it, softly at first but then with more intent as she gasped and threw her head back against the tile. His other hand went to her breast, kneading the soft flesh and gently tweaking a nipple the way he knew she liked.

 

“C’mon, I’m ready,” she urged breathlessly. Luke didn’t need to be told twice, moving to grip her hips again and lift her up against the wall, parting her legs so that he could step forward and slide his cock inside her, monumentally grateful that she was on the pill and they didn’t need to concern themselves with finding a condom in the heat of the moment, though they usually still used them.

 

Claire cried out softly as he slowly sank inside, her legs wrapping around him and her hands instinctively going to grip his shoulders though he was obviously perfectly capable of bearing her weight alone. He paused for a moment once he was fully sheathed to capture her lips in another kiss. Then he started to slowly undulate his hips, thrusting in and out of her in a gentle rhythm. His thumb returned to find her clit again and she gasped in appreciation.

 

Luke had wanted it to last, but it wasn’t long before Claire was digging her heels into his backside, urging him on.

 

“Harder, Luke,” she moaned between the soft little cries she was making on each inward thrust. Luke obliged, picking up the pace but keeping ever mindful that he wasn’t slamming her back into the tile wall too forcefully. It was easy for his strength to get away from him when he was… distracted.

 

He felt her clench around him as she came, crying out loudly enough that he’d be surprised if the others didn’t hear it. His own orgasm followed quickly, blindingly intense.

 

Luke gently lowered Claire’s legs back down until she was supporting her own weight again, but the two of them stayed leaning against the tile, entwined in each other’s arms as they each rode out the afterglow and their breathing returned to normal.

 

“I guess we should actually shower now instead of, you know, just wasting all this hot water,” Claire eventually said with a small laugh.

 

“You’re right,” Luke said, reluctantly stepping back from her, though he couldn’t resist leaning in for one more kiss before reaching for the bottle of body wash.

 

They made relatively quick work of washing each other, though they nearly got sidetracked again as Luke washed Claire’s hair for her, something which they’d both always enjoyed and which had been the precursor to shower sex on many an occasion before.

 

Once they’d dried and dressed and left the bedroom, they found Danny and Colleen in the kitchen making breakfast and Jessica and Matt sitting on the couch, already back at work on the laptops they’d recovered from the Hand.

 

“Enjoy yourselves?” Jessica asked, a wicked grin on her face.

 

“We sure did,” Claire said, grinning back unapologetically. Luke couldn’t help but grin as well. If she wasn’t going to be embarrassed, then why should he?

 

“There’s coffee and tea if you guys want,” Colleen called out. “And the bacon and eggs are just about done.”

 

Luke went into the kitchen to help them carry things to the dining table. Danny looked at him almost shyly when he approached, fidgeting a little.

 

“I’m… I’m sorry about before,” he said softly.

 

“Hey, man, I told you no apology was necessary,” Luke said, reaching over to grip his shoulder.

 

“No, you were right, I… I shouldn’t have tried to keep going like that,” Danny said. “I was… was remembering s-stuff and… and it probably would have gone really badly if you hadn’t stopped us when you did. Thank you.”

 

“No worries,” Luke said, smiling with relief that he’d realized that.

 

“I just… I just wanted to make you feel good. Like… like _that,”_ Danny said, looking away as he blushed furiously. Luke’s heart clenched in his chest and he pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around him in a fierce embrace.

 

“You _do_ make me feel good, Danny,” he said. “And it would break my heart if I ever hurt you, or if you were to hurt yourself trying to please me. Anytime _anything_ we’re doing starts to make you uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to say something or to ask us to stop or slow down. No one will get mad or upset, I promise.”

 

“Okay,” Danny mumbled against his chest, sounding a little overwhelmed. “I’m… I’m not always the best judge of my own frame of mind, though.”

 

“We’ll watch out for you,” Luke promised him. “Like this morning.”

 

“He knows I’ll kick his ass if he takes advantage of you, so you can trust his judgement,” Jessica tossed out as she passed by them on her way to the dining table.

 

Danny barked out a startled little laugh, pulling back from Luke’s embrace.

 

“She means it, too,” Luke laughed, shaking his head a little.

 

“I know,” Danny grinned, practically glowing with happiness. It made Luke’s heart melt a little. Whatever had happened between the two of them during their private talk the day before had obviously been very significant.

 

They had all the food brought out and were all settled around the table in short order. They didn’t talk much as they ate, and by mutual unspoken agreement they avoided delving into any of the heavier topics they needed to discuss until after they were done. Eventually, though, they had all finished eating and the dishes had been cleared away and it couldn’t be avoided any longer.

 

“Any luck so far?” Claire asked Matt and Jessica as they settled back down on the couch with the laptops.

 

“Some financial information for a handful of companies that are likely fronts for their operations, like Midland Circle was,” Jessica replied. “One of them was listed as the owner of that house. There was a listing of other residential properties owned by the same company. One of them could be where Gao and that bastard bugged off to.”

 

“It’ll take a lot of leg work to check them out one by one, though,” Matt said. “There’s over a dozen and they’re all over the city, with another couple upstate.”

 

“Maybe Ward’s new security people could help with that?” Luke suggested.

 

“Good idea,” Jessica said. “I’ll email him the info.”

 

“There’s still quite a bit that was behind heavier encryption,” Matt said. “But the program Jess got from her hacker friend is almost through it.”

 

“Can we be sure they’re even hiding out in the same place, though?” Luke asked with a frown. “They didn’t seem to have parted on the best terms.”

 

“We can’t be sure of anything,” Matt said grimly.

 

“Whatever she’s playing at with Davos, Gao mustn’t be finished with him if she had the guards make sure they got him away,” Colleen said, scowling.

 

“Would he be angry enough with her to leave, though, after she was so unconcerned about letting you guys get away?” Matt asked. “I mean, he hated the Hand his whole life anyway….”

 

“He won’t leave her,” Danny said, shifting uncomfortably. “Gao has him convinced that they can use me to get back to K’un Lun and… and that the Elders are corrupt and should be removed from power. She made him a believer.” His gaze grew distant and Luke had no doubt that he was thinking of another person that Gao had apparently made a believer in the Hand.

 

His mother.

 

“Wait... he wants to go back there and take over?” Jessica asked, raising an eyebrow. “Who does he think he is, a super villain?”

 

“He’s doing a pretty good job of playing at one,” Claire muttered. “So that’s how Gao convinced him to join the Hand? She didn’t just promise… promise him Danny, she promised him K’un Lun, too?”

 

“And… and they want to use the Iron Fist to do this?” Luke asked. “Hasn’t the Fist always been the _protector_ of K’un Lun?”

 

“She said… she said that the Iron Fist was never meant to just be the protector of K’un Lun, that the Elders hid its true potential because they feared its power,” Danny said distantly. “She claimed that if… if she helped me fully develop it, it could be combined with her own power to pull the dimensional gate open by force.”

 

Stunned silence reigned over them for a moment as they digested that news.

 

“That’s why she’s so obsessed with the prophecy, why she’s so desperate to have you under her control,” Matt stated darkly. “She wants a powerful weapon at her beck and call.”

 

“But why did it have to be Danny specifically and not any of the other Iron Fists?” Luke asked.

 

“Apparently disobeying the Elders and leaving K’un Lun is somehow relevant to developing the Iron Fist’s true power,” Colleen said.

 

“I still don’t get just why the hell she’s been messing with him so much. Why team up with that bastard knowing what he’d do to him?” Jessica asked angrily. “You catch more flies with honey and all that.”

 

“The prophecy seems to imply that suffering is part of the package, or at least she thinks so,” Colleen said bitterly. “The whole ‘touched by fire’ thing. And… and I’m sure she thinks that the more she breaks him down, the easier it’ll be for her to control and manipulate him. Not to mention the fact that she just seems to enjoy it.”

 

“Psychotic bitch,” Jessica muttered. Luke couldn’t help but agree. All her plots aside, it really did seem like Gao took great delight in toying with people.

 

There was the buzzing of an incoming call on a phone and Colleen pulled hers out of her pocket.

 

“It’s security from downstairs,” she told them before answering it and speaking to them briefly. “Foggy’s here. They’re escorting him up.”

 

TBC

  



	46. Matt

Matt couldn’t help but smile when Colleen said that Foggy was on his way up. It had only been a few days since their dinner, but with everything that had happened since then it felt like a lifetime ago. Foggy’s visit wasn’t a social call, of course, since he was coming to discuss business with Danny, but his presence was always… comforting, and Matt had had far too little of it in months.

 

It suddenly occurred to him, though, that there was an awful lot about their current situation that Foggy was unaware of. He didn’t even know the full story about what had happened at the Lotte. And sensationalistic, gossipy articles weren’t Foggy’s usual speed, but he almost definitely would have read the article about Danny, if not because of his own connection to Danny as one of his lawyers, then certainly because of Danny’s connection to Matt and his... extracurricular activities. He was likely to have questions.

 

“Danny… how much are you comfortable with revealing to Foggy about what’s been going on?” Matt asked. “He definitely won’t push for answers if you’re not okay with giving them, but I’m sure he’s curious.”

 

Danny was quiet for a moment before answering, seemingly mulling that over.

 

“We can… we can tell him everything,” Danny said hesitantly. “I mean, he’s my lawyer anyway, and… and he’s your family, right? I don’t want you to have to hide anything from him. I… I trust him.”

 

“Thanks, Danny,” Matt said warmly. “That means a lot.”

 

He rose to go greet Foggy at the door when he arrived, pulling him into a tight hug when he did so.

 

“Hey, man,” Foggy said, sounding a little surprised, likely at the fierceness of his embrace, though he returned it just as enthusiastically. “It’s good to see you.”

 

“Same,” Matt said, feeling rather surprised himself at the strength of his reaction. The last few days had been… had been really _hard,_ to put it mildly, and Foggy was like a breath of fresh air.

 

He sensed Foggy peering at him and could practically smell his growing concern.

 

“Are you… okay?” Foggy asked quietly, squeezing his shoulder. “You… you look kind of rough, man.”

 

“Well, it’s been a rough couple of days,” Matt said with a sigh, an intense desire to sit down with Foggy and just _unload_ over a couple of beers washing through him. “A lot has happened.”

 

“So I gathered,” Foggy said. “And don’t think I didn’t notice that you didn’t actually answer the question,” he added pointedly.

 

“We’ve all been through the ringer, but I’m… I’m okay,” Matt said, doing his best to smile reassuringly. Things had definitely been bad, but _he_ hadn’t been attacked or kidnapped or sexually assaulted or been reminded of traumatic memories of sexual assault, so compared to the others he definitely didn’t think he had room to complain.

 

Foggy peered at him for another moment, apparently not convinced, but then he sighed, seemingly deciding to move on, at least for the time being. Matt had a feeling he wasn’t going to let him get off so easily, though.

 

“Well, you weren’t kidding when you said security would be tight here,” Foggy said. “I almost expected them to want to do a body cavity search. Is it all because of the press out front?”

 

“No,” Matt said with a sigh, running a hand through his hair. “The, uh, the Hand attacked the penthouse a couple of days ago.”

 

Foggy gaped at him silently for a moment.

 

“The… the _Hand?”_ he finally sputtered. “I… I thought… after Midland Circle….”

 

“So did we, for awhile,” Matt said grimly. “But at least one of the leaders that we assumed died in the collapse is alive and well and back in business.”

 

“Jesus, Matt,” Foggy said, aghast. “And… and what about…?”

 

Matt stiffened, knowing immediately who he was trying to ask about, though he couldn’t seem to bring himself to say her name.

 

Elektra.

 

Matt had been doing his utmost best to avoid thinking about her, or the possibility that if Gao somehow made it out of that basement, then she might have, too. He knew it was unlikely. If she were alive he was sure she would have reached out in some way. That or Gao would have taunted them about her by now, or… or _something,_ but there was still that maddening little kernel of doubt.

 

Would he _ever_ find out for certain what had been her fate?

 

Dwelling on it would surely drive him mad, so he’d forcefully pushed back any thought of her as hard as he could.

 

“Not as far as we know,” Matt said quietly. Foggy clasped him on the shoulder, squeezing tightly.

 

“I can only imagine how hard that’s been for you,” he said somberly. “I’m so sorry, Matt.”

 

Matt nodded in appreciation, feeling touched by his genuine sympathy but also suddenly a little uncomfortable. His issues with Elektra were hardly the most important thing they needed to be dealing with just then.

 

Danny approached them, having apparently hung back to give them a few moments of relative privacy together.

 

“Hey, Foggy. Thanks for coming here instead of the office,” Danny said in greeting.

 

“No problem,” Foggy replied with a wide smile. “Always happy to make house calls for our biggest client. There’s not a lot to go over so I shouldn’t take up too much of your time.”

 

“My schedule’s kind of wide open right now, so there’s no rush,” Danny said sheepishly. “We can sit at the dining table. Would you like to join us, Matt?”

 

“Sure,” Matt said, smiling. He hadn’t wanted to presume, since they would be discussing Rand business that had nothing to do with the rest of them, but any time spent with Foggy was definitely a bonus. He suspected Danny was perfectly aware of that, and had made it clear he was welcome for that very reason. The kid really did have a good heart.

 

They settled at the table, Matt next to Foggy with Danny sitting across from them.

 

“Okay, first up is the agreement with the Lotte owners,” Foggy said, pulling some papers out of his briefcase. “They were really pleased with your offer, having no interest in a drawn out police investigation.”

 

“So you were able to put the police off from wanting to interview Danny?” Matt asked.

 

“Part of the agreement with the Lotte is that they won’t pursue charges,” Foggy said, nodding. “I already informed Brett that we saw no reason to grant an interview. With the owners not pushing for an investigation they have no grounds to try to force the matter. He wasn’t exactly pleased, and there may have been some grumbling about rich people solving all their problems by throwing money at them, but, well….” Foggy shrugged.

 

“He has a right to be upset about it,” Danny said unhappily. “I mean… it’s _true._ I wouldn’t be able to make this go away without my money and a high-powered law firm. And… and I really did cause a lot of damage, and it’s pure chance that people weren’t hurt….”

 

“You need to stop beating yourself up about it,” Matt said gently. “It was an accident, right? And you were defending yourself, too.”

 

“That wouldn’t make it okay if some innocent bystander had gotten caught up in it,” Danny said, fidgeting with the ends of his sleeves in what Matt had come to recognize was one of his common nervous gestures.

 

“This all had something to do with the Hand then, I assume?” Foggy asked. “I mean, not that you need to tell me any details, of course….”

 

“No, it’s okay,” Danny said. “I told Matt I didn’t want him to have to keep any secrets from you. You’re his family. He trusts you, so I do, too.”

 

“O-okay,” Foggy said, blinking. “Thanks, Danny. I… I really appreciate that.” Matt smiled a little, sensing how pleased Foggy was to be included. He felt another warm flush of affection for Danny for having agreed to it. He knew it couldn’t be easy for him, sharing such personal things with someone that he barely knew.

 

“To answer your question, yes, the Hand was involved, though we didn’t realize quite to what extent yet at that point,” Matt said. “It’s… kind of complicated. The short version is that someone from Danny’s past in K’un Lun is here in New York and they fought at the hotel, but….”

 

“Maybe you can explain all the details to Foggy… after,” Danny suggested, shifting nervously.

 

“Of course,” Matt agreed, sensing Danny’s discomfort. He could hardly blame him. He may have agreed not to hide anything from Foggy, but that didn’t mean he wanted to sit there reliving it all  as Matt explained it to him.

 

“Okay, well, these papers just need a few signatures and then it’ll all be settled,” Foggy said, sliding them over to Danny. He sounded a little nonplussed, no doubt picking up on Danny’s tension as well. It was practically radiating off of him.

 

Danny silently went through the papers, signing them wherever they were marked that it was required before sliding them back over. Foggy quickly checked them before putting them back into his briefcase and taking out a folder.

 

“This is just some stuff about the foundation that we discussed at our last meeting. You just need to look the numbers over and if everything is in order, you can sign them, too,” he said, handing the folder over. Once again Danny went through them, signing where it was required before handing it back.

 

“Great. The foundation will be up and running and ready to accept requests for funding from charitable organizations within the week,” Foggy said, returning that folder to his briefcase as well.

 

“I’m really glad to hear that,” Danny said. “It’s nice to have some good news for once.”

“It’s not just good news, it’s _great_ news,” Foggy said sincerely. “The revenue stream you’ve allocated for it is _really_ generous. It’s going to help a lot of people. You should be proud of it, Danny.”

 

“T-thanks,” Danny said, and Matt could practically _feel_ how much he was blushing, still likely unaccustomed to receiving praise.

 

“Okay, last of all is some Rand Enterprises stuff that needs your attention that Jeri wanted me to pass along,” Foggy said, pulling out yet more papers from his briefcase and handing them over.

 

“I know you’re happy working for Hogarth’s firm and I’m really glad, but I have to say, I think I’d die of boredom handling all this corporate stuff all the time,” Matt commented.

 

“It can be pretty dry at times, there’s no denying that,” Foggy laughed. “But yeah, strangely enough I really do enjoy it.” He was quiet for a moment, sobering a little. “I do miss working with you and Karen, though.”

 

“The feeling’s mutual,” Matt said, smiling sadly.

 

“Uh, sorry, I need to check something in my email about this one contract,” Danny said, looking up from where he’d been going through the papers. “Let me just go get Colleen’s laptop….” He rose from the table and returned a moment later, laptop in hand. After he’d booted it up and accessed his work email he frowned, running a hand over his face wearily. “Oh, man, I should have tried to stay on top of these since I haven’t been in the office, there are so many.”

 

“Ward told you not to worry about any Rand business, didn’t he?” Matt said. “And to be fair, you’ve had a lot more pressing concerns this past week.”

 

“Yeah, I know, but-” Danny began before suddenly freezing.

 

“Danny? What is it?” Matt asked quickly, his heart skipping a beat. He could sense that Danny’s adrenaline had spiked suddenly and a cold sweat had broken out over his body. Something had obviously upset him a great deal. He felt the others’ attention shift towards them at his alarmed tone.

 

“It’s… it’s nothing..,” Danny said unsteadily. Matt didn’t have to be able to hear his heartbeat to know he was lying.

 

“Danny,” he said gently. “It’s obviously not nothing.”

 

“Should I… give you guys some privacy?” Foggy asked awkwardly, clearly at a loss.

 

“No, it’s… it’s fine,” Danny said, swallowing audibly. “There’s… there’s just some e-emails. From, uh, from reporters. Asking for interviews. I… I wasn’t expecting it.”

 

Matt frowned. That hadn’t been a lie, but… but his instincts told him that Danny was still holding something back. He was quickly growing more and more anxious, his pulse racing as he looked at something on his screen.

 

“That’s… that’s awful, Danny,” Foggy said, the sincerity clear in his voice. “I’m really sorry you’re having to deal with that whole mess. I… I know Karen feels terrible that it was her paper that first broke the story.”

 

“It wasn’t her fault,” Danny said distantly, still transfixed by whatever he was looking at on the computer. “The… the whole thing was Gao’s doing. E-everything is always Gao’s doing.”

 

“S-seriously?” Foggy asked, taken aback. “The _Hand_ was the anonymous source that sent that info to the Bulletin?”

 

“Afraid so,” Matt confirmed, though his attention was still focused on Danny. He was really starting to worry him, his breathing becoming uneven along with his increased heart rate. He was showing all the signs of spiralling into some kind of episode. After everything that had happened he was certainly fragile enough that it wouldn’t take much to upset him. The reminder that the whole fiasco with the article was still a thing they had to deal with was likely more than enough. Though that statement about Gao was… kind of odd.

 

“Are… are you okay?” Foggy asked worriedly, Danny’s increasingly anxious state likely obvious for anyone to see.

 

“I… I’m fine,” Danny said. “E-everything… everything’s okay.” Even more alarm bells went off in Matt’s mind. Danny’s voice sounded strange, and Matt had come to recognize that whenever he said ‘everything’s okay’ like that it was a pretty reliable sign that things were definitely _not_ okay.

 

Tension grew in the air, everyone sensing that something was off.

 

“Danny?” Colleen asked, rising from the couch and approaching them. Danny suddenly slammed the laptop closed before she rounded the table, preventing her from seeing the screen. When she reached out to touch his shoulder he flinched violently, making her pull her hand back quickly. “Danny?” she asked again, sounding scared.

 

“I… I…,” Danny said haltingly, his voice trailing off, and then he was just _gone,_ a peculiar stillness settling over him that almost made Matt’s senses itch with it’s unnaturalness.

 

He’d blanked out again.

 

“Oh, no,” Colleen moaned, gingerly reaching to touch his shoulder again before apparently thinking better of it because of how he’d reacted to her previous attempt. “Danny… Danny can you hear me?”

 

“What’s happening?” Foggy asked in alarm.

 

“It’s a kind of dissociative seizure,” Claire said grimly, approaching the table. “His mind got too overwhelmed. Hopefully it won’t last too long.” She put her hand on Colleen’s shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly.

 

“Shouldn’t… shouldn’t we be doing something?” Foggy asked.

 

“There isn’t really anything we _can_ do, except wait it out,” Claire said. “At least it’s a pretty mild one.”

 

“This is _mild?”_ Foggy asked, aghast.

 

“Comparatively,” Matt replied. “He… he had a full seizure a couple of days ago, similar to what you’d see with epilepsy.” His fists clenched at the memory of how frightening it had been, having someone he cared about go through something like that.

 

“Jesus,” Foggy muttered. “What… what causes it?” Matt sensed the underlying question that Foggy likely didn’t want to voice out loud.

 

How much of what had been in the article was true?

 

“Not everything in that article was accurate, but… some of it was,” Matt said with a sigh. “Danny’s been… been struggling with a lot of mental health issues. Recent events have exacerbated things significantly. When it gets to be too much sometimes he… he just shuts down for a bit.”

 

“Obviously it’s upsetting and alarming to witness, but it’s not medically dangerous,” Claire said.

 

“And… and you guys are just dealing with it yourselves?” Foggy asked. “No hospital… no professionals?”

 

“When Danny was at Birch those few days all that time ago, he’d been drugged and committed there against his will. He also wasn’t released, he had to escape,” Matt said grimly. “It… it left an impression. He refused to have anything to do with a hospital or psychiatric drugs. We had been thinking that it would be a good idea to at least bring it up again, though, considering how much worse things have been getting,” he added, glancing at Claire.

 

“With everything that’s been going on we haven’t had a chance,” Claire said. “And… and I really doubt his feelings about it have changed anyway.” Matt couldn’t help but agree.

 

“Jesus,” Foggy said again, rubbing his face. “You guys really _have_ had a rough couple of days, haven’t you?”

 

“Understatement,” Claire muttered.

 

Matt sensed Danny starting to come around, the unnatural stillness falling away as he slowly started to blink and his breathing changed rhythm. A moment later Colleen was speaking to him, having apparently noticed as well.

 

“Danny, can you hear me?” she asked, once again reaching for his shoulder though her movement was slow and tentative. Danny, though seemingly still not fully aware, flinched away again, though not as violently as before. Matt could practically feel Colleen’s heartbreak as she drew her hand back.

 

They all waited with baited breath as Danny seemed to slowly come back to himself, blinking and looking around in confusion. He saw Colleen and Claire hovering nearby and slowly reached out his hand, which Colleen quickly grasped, her relief palpable.

 

“S-sorry,” Danny said blearily. “I… I didn’t mean to do that.”

 

“It’s okay, Danny,” Colleen said, her voice heavy with emotion. She shifted like she wanted to move even closer and hug him, but was unsure of how he might react. Danny seemed oblivious and still a little dazed, looking around some more before finally registering Foggy’s presence. Matt sensed a wave of embarrassment washing through him and had no doubt that he was flushing red.

 

“I… I, uh… I can’t… I can’t do this right now,” Danny said uneasily, releasing Colleen’s hand and rising to his feet. “S-sorry, Foggy, can… can we finish this some other time?”

 

“Uh… of course,” Foggy said slowly, clearly thrown for a loop. “Getting the Lotte agreement finalized was the most important thing. There isn’t anything else that can’t wait a few days.”

 

“Thanks,” Danny said, slowly backing away from the table. “I… I’m sorry, I just… I need to clear my head. I’m… I’m going to go meditate.”

 

Colleen took a step towards him but froze when he stiffened.

 

“Do… do you want some company?” she asked cautiously. Danny was shaking his head almost before she’d finished speaking.

 

“No, I’ll… I’ll be fine,” Danny said, wrapping his arms around himself in a defensive gesture that Matt suspected he wasn’t even aware he was doing. It made Matt’s heart ache for him. “And Matt’s listening, right?”

 

“Right,” Colleen said, her disappointment palpable.

 

“S-sorry again, Foggy,” Danny said. “And thanks again for coming.” With that he practically fled down the hallway.

 

Colleen almost seemed to deflate after he was gone, and Claire stepped forward to wrap her arms around her.

 

“You can’t take it personally, hon,” Claire murmured. “He’s just really fragile right now.”

 

“I know,” Colleen replied, her voice heavy with emotion. “It just… it just hurts seeing him like that. I wish there was more I could do.”

 

“What… what did he mean, ‘Matt’s listening’?” Foggy asked quietly.

 

“He’s… kind of on suicide watch,” Matt said grimly.

 

“Fuck,” Foggy cursed. “It’s… it’s really that bad?”

 

“It’s that bad,” Matt confirmed, running a hand over his face wearily. He knew exactly what Colleen meant. It _hurt_ to have to sit by while someone you cared about was suffering, to be basically helpless to do anything about it except be there for them as much as you could.

 

“You think those emails from the reporters set him off?” Luke asked worriedly. “How bad were they?”

 

Jessica rose to her feet and went to the laptop, opening it back up.

 

“Well, looks like it automatically logged him out when he shut the computer,” she groused. “I don’t suppose you know his password, Colleen?” Colleen shook her head.

 

“I don’t doubt that reporters asking for interviews played a part of it, but… but I feel like there was more to it,” Matt said.

 

“Me, too,” Colleen said, pulling back from Claire a little. “I… I don’t think he would have been… been flinching away like that just because of that.”

 

“It could have been a flashback,” Jessica stated flatly. “That could definitely lead to not wanting to be touched.”

 

“But… it wasn’t bothering him before,” Colleen said uncertainly.

 

“Don’t believe everything you see in movies or on TV,” Jessica said, not unkindly. “It isn’t always a constant thing. It can come and go. Everyone’s got their own unique blend of it, of course, but there are likely going to be times when he’s fine with touching, when he’ll even _want_ it, but… there are also going to be times when he won’t be able to tolerate it. When he’s upset, when he’s had a flashback… or sometimes even just for no apparent reason at all.” She was quiet for a moment before continuing. “Claire’s right. Don’t take it personally. It has absolutely nothing to do with you or how he feels about you.”

 

“Flashback to what?” Foggy asked, clearly confused.

 

Heavy silence reigned for a moment.

 

“Danny was… assaulted a couple of days ago,” Claire said.

 

“Assaulted,” Foggy repeated, frowning.

 

“Danny green-lit looping him into all this shit, so there’s no need to pussyfoot around,” Jessica said archly. “Being afraid to say it isn’t doing anyone any favours, least of all Danny.” She turned to look at Foggy. “He was raped. By the jackass who was supposed to be his best friend in K’un Lun but who spent years taking advantage of him and pressuring him into sexual activity he didn’t want. The same one who attacked him at the Lotte.”

 

“Oh… oh, my God,” Foggy said quietly, horrified.

 

“Why don’t I start at the beginning and explain everything that’s been going on,” Matt said with a sigh.

 

The others returned to the living room while Matt relayed to Foggy everything that had happened in the past week, starting with Joy’s appearance at the dojo while they’d been training up until they’d rescued Danny and Colleen from the house in Queens the day before. For a long time afterwards Foggy just sat there quietly, stunned.

 

“Holy _shit,_ Matt,” he finally said. “I… I can’t believe you’ve been dealing with all this.”

 

“It’s been crazy,” Matt agreed, sighing wearily.

 

“And fuck… this Gao lady has seriously been messing around in Danny’s life since he was a little kid?” Foggy continued incredulously. “And she found him because of some prophecy and… and through her own freaking _magical powers?_ That’s _insane.”_

 

“Welcome to the world of mystical ninja shit,” Matt said, smirking.

 

“Fucking _hell,_ Matt,” Foggy said, shaking his head. “How… how are _you_ holding up? I can’t even imagine what dealing with all this has been like, for _any_ of you, not just Danny.”

 

Matt found himself unable to answer for a moment, an unexpected swell of emotion washing through him. For all that he’d made a point of reminding the others the day before that they were _all_ going through something traumatic and Danny wasn’t the only one who needed support, there had been so much going on that he’d barely taken a moment to really process his own feelings about everything that had happened.

 

“It’s been hard,” he finally managed to say. “It’s always hard when people you care about are suffering and there isn’t much you can do to help. I mean, trying to help Danny with his history of mental illness would have been challenging even without Gao and Davos around actively making it worse. I… I wish there was more I could do,” he said, echoing Colleen’s earlier words.

 

“Seems to me like you’re doing plenty,” Foggy said with feeling. “Danny’s lucky to have you, _all_ of you. Shit, just the thought of where he might be now if he didn’t….”

 

Matt couldn’t help but shudder a little. That _was_ a terrifying thought.

 

“Damn, I’m going to be late for my next meeting,” Foggy said suddenly, gathering up his briefcase. “I’ll be in touch about rescheduling finishing up the paperwork. And seriously, if there’s _anything_ I can do to help, not just as Danny’s lawyer, but as a friend, don’t hesitate to ask.”

 

“Thanks, man, that means a lot,” Matt said. “I’m sure Danny will appreciate it, too.”

 

“He’s such a good kid,” Foggy said sadly. “It’s hard to believe anyone could go through all that shit and still… well, still be like _Danny.”_

 

Matt chuckled, knowing what he meant about how Danny’s pure-heartedness and often child-like innocence rather defied description or categorization.

 

“Yeah, he’s pretty amazing,” Matt agreed. He walked Foggy to the door.

 

“Let’s not be strangers, man,” Foggy said. “I know you have a lot on your plate right now, obviously, but like I said, don’t hesitate to contact me for anything, even just to talk.”

 

“We’ll do dinner again soon,” Matt promised. “Maybe… maybe with everyone?”

 

“Sounds like a good plan,” Foggy agreed. “If they’re going to be such a big part of your life now, I’d definitely like to get to know them better. I’m sure Karen would, too. Let us know when.”

 

He suddenly leaned in to wrap his arms around Matt in a tight embrace. After a moment of startled surprise Matt hugged him back tightly.

 

“Take care of yourself,” Foggy said vehemently. “And… and be careful. I… I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.”

 

Matt swallowed back the sudden lump in his throat, feeling overcome. And then Foggy was letting go and beating a hasty retreat out the door before he’d had a chance to formulate a response. Matt could do little more than stand there for a moment, his mind whirling. After he’d pulled himself together he returned to the couch and sat back down next to Jessica, intending to resume work on the Hand laptop.

 

“He loves you, you know,” Jessica said softly.

 

“Of course,” Matt replied distractedly as he reached for the laptop. “We’ve been friends for years. I love him, too.”

 

“No, I mean he _loves_ you,” she said pointedly. “The same way you love him,” she added softly.

 

Matt froze.

 

“F-Foggy’s straight,” he said slowly. “And… and I’d be able to tell….”

 

“The same way you should have been able to tell Danny had interest in you and Luke?” she asked. Matt had no response for that. It _was_ rather strange that he hadn’t picked up on that before. Things like pheromones and arousal were usually quite easy for him to sense. Jessica sighed heavily before continuing. “Forgive the choice of words, but I… I think sometimes you have something of a blind spot about realizing the nature of people’s feelings about you,” she said gently. “Could be part of that generally self-deprecating nature you can lean towards. But you didn’t see his face that night when we returned to the precinct after Midland Circle. Trust me. He _loves_ you.”

 

“I suspected almost from the first time I met him,” Claire said.

 

“Yeah, man,” Luke said. “I… I thought you knew.”

 

“O-oh,” Matt said, completely stunned.

 

That… that was certainly something to think about.

 

TBC


	47. Danny

Once Danny reached the bedroom it took great effort not to slam the door shut behind him. He leaned back against it, desperately trying to get his breathing and heart rate under control, not wanting to give Matt reason to think some kind of intervention was necessary, especially not so soon.

 

He just… he just needed some time to himself. He needed to be able to _think._

 

Unwelcome images flashed through his mind and he shuddered, pushing them away.

 

Danny suddenly wished that he could have found some excuse to bring the laptop with him, so that he could check and confirm that he really had seen what he’d seen, that it hadn’t been just some new, terrible form of hallucination.

 

But he knew it had been real. He could _feel_ it. Fear and dread coursed through him, forming a tight knot in his chest.

 

Guilt roiled through him, too. He should have said something to the others. He _knew_ he should have. He hadn’t _lied_ to Matt, exactly, not after his first knee-jerk denial that anything was wrong, but he hadn’t told him everything, either.

 

He… he had just been too shocked and overwhelmed to even _fathom_ putting it into words. To fathom _saying it out loud._

 

There _had_ been emails that had obviously been from reporters, and seeing them had indeed been like a punch to the gut. It wasn’t any great mystery how they’d likely gotten his email address, though. It was listed on Rand’s internal directory, accessible by any of the company’s thousands of employees worldwide. Easy enough for any of them to leak it to a reporter.

 

Which should have also made it unsurprising who _else_ had sent him an email, but somehow it had still been a shock.

 

Though not as big a shock as what had been _in_ the email.

 

He shuddered again, his breath hitching in his chest.

 

He couldn’t let himself fall apart. He _couldn’t._

 

The sender had been listed as Koeving Industries, which he had immediately recognised as being on their list of known Hand shell corporations, one that had been inactive for months. He supposed the smart thing to have done would have been to just delete it, or… or to have asked one of the others to look at it instead. But, still reeling with surprise, he’d automatically clicked on the message to open it, expecting it to be from Davos, and….

 

And the world had fallen out from underneath him in a rush of static.

 

It had been from Gao.

 

She… she had sent _pictures._

 

Stills from what appeared to be security camera footage.

 

From… from the bedroom at the house.

 

Danny slid his back down the door until he was seated on the floor, his legs no longer feeling like they could support him. He felt like he might fly apart at any moment and wrapped his arms around his knees as if he could physically hold himself together. Static was pushing in all around him but he couldn’t let himself panic. He _needed_ to focus and… and think this through.

 

Gao’s message had been short and to the point - start answering Davos’ calls soon or she’d leak the video to the media.

 

The thought made him feel chilled right down to his bones, made him feel like something cold and slimy and _disgusting_ was curling around his very soul.

 

Breathe. He had to remember to _breathe._

 

He hadn’t noticed a camera in the bedroom, so it had to have been hidden. Distantly, he wondered if Davos had known, if he had been complicit in this new horrific violation. Did it mean anything significant, that the threat had come from Gao and not from Davos himself? Why would Gao care if he talked to Davos when she’d been so cavalier about letting them escape?

 

One thing was clear, he’d have to get a new phone as quickly as possible. He… he couldn’t let Gao follow through on that threat. The very thought of the whole world seeing him like… like _that_ made something deep down inside of him feel like it was going to _shatter._

 

He wouldn’t survive that. There was just no way.

 

Danny hugged his knees tighter to his chest, icy fear clawing its way up his throat. It felt like his whole body was trembling, was on the verge of all-consuming panic.

 

Deep breath in, deep breath out. Deep breath in, deep breath out.

 

He tried to summon the memory of Luke’s deep, soothing voice repeating the instructions, but it only made him feel even more guilty.

 

He… he should _tell_ them, shouldn’t he? Especially since they’d want an explanation for him changing his mind about the phone.

 

But then they’d likely want to see the email for themselves. See… see the _pictures._

 

There had been four included in the email, as proof that the video existed, he supposed. Stark and brutal and graphic, they’d left nothing to the imagination. Seeing them had been worse than a punch to the gut, it had felt like being _eviscerated._ The horrific images from one of the worst nights of his life were seared across his brain. He doubted he’d ever be able to completely banish them.

 

He couldn’t bear the thought of the others ever _seeing_ him like that. It was almost worse than the thought of strangers seeing it.

 

Okay. Maybe not worse than _that._

 

The others… they _cared_ about him. It was crazy to feel like they’d think any less of him, wasn’t it? They already knew it had happened, had already told him again and again that it wasn’t his fault. There being a video and pictures shouldn’t change any of that.

 

But still all he could think about was an overwhelming sense of _shame_ and… and _vulnerability._ He wouldn’t have thought it possible that anything could ever make him feel even more exposed and violated than what Davos had already done, but apparently he’d been wrong. The idea of people _seeing_ what had happened felt so much more... _intimate_ than them just knowing about it.

 

Would it _ever_ end? Would there always be some new terrible violation waiting around the corner?

 

Davos’ obsession, Gao’s plans for him, her revelations about what had happened with his parents, his craziness being gossiped about by untold numbers of people, and now this…. It just kept piling on and on and on….

 

Danny grimaced, fighting the sudden urge to slam his head back against the door, to pound his fists against his legs until the pain pushed out everything else.

 

To… to find something _sharp_ and just be fucking done with everything for good _._

 

Shuddering, he forcefully pushed that dark thought away. He… he couldn’t do that. He resolved to try to meditate as he’d told the others he was going to do anyway. He needed to focus and think about the situation clearly, unimpeded by emotion.

 

He shifted over until he was no longer in front of the door and then took up the proper form, folding his legs and closing his eyes. The position alone brought a certain measure of comfort, though clearing his mind to focus properly proved to be challenging. He stuck with it, though, breathing evenly and silently repeating every calming mantra he could remember over and over again until finally he started to feel more… steady.

 

When he finally opened his eyes again, it felt like a fair bit of time had passed. He couldn’t say he felt any _better_ about the situation, exactly, but he certainly felt calmer, at least for the time being. And the meditation had helped to crystallize in his mind the truth that he’d _known,_ but hadn’t been quite able to really _accept_ yet.

 

He wasn’t alone anymore. The others could help him deal with this.

 

But only if he let them.

 

He’d been so used to just burying everything inside his whole life, with being alone with dealing with anything bad that happened. Then Colleen had come along and that had slowly started to change. But now he had all of the others to turn to as well. It was taking some time to really sink in, his first instinct still being to… to _hide._

 

But he _had_ to tell them. He should have from the beginning.

 

Danny slowly rose to his feet, feeling a strange sense of calm detachment. He doubted it would last, as it felt more like a thrown together patch job on his psyche rather than a lasting sense of peace, but it would do.

 

He left the bedroom and went out to join the others in the living room. Matt and Jessica were still working away on the equipment they’d taken from the house. Claire was looking at her phone and Luke was watching some sports news show on the TV, the volume turned fairly low. Colleen was staring idly at the TV as well, but when Danny emerged from the hallway she jumped up to greet him.

 

“Hey! You were in there for a long time,” she remarked as she approached him. “Are… are you feeling better?” His heart clenched at the rather hesitant look on her face, at the way she hung back a little, remembering how he’d flinched away from her before. He hadn’t been able to help it, his mind too full of memories and sensations brought forth by seeing the pictures Gao had sent. Steeling himself, he tentatively reached out to pull her into a hug and practically sagged in relief when he felt no adverse reaction to the touch. She hugged him back fiercely for a moment before pulling back, looking at him searchingly. No doubt she’d been able to sense his odd reaction.

 

“Yeah, I… I just needed to clear my head,” he said, smiling weakly. “I’m… I’m sorry about before.”

 

“It’s okay, Danny,” she said.

 

“And I’m sorry for ending the meeting with Foggy so abruptly, Matt,” Danny continued, turning towards him. “I hope he wasn’t… wasn’t offended or anything.”

 

“Don’t worry, he’s not upset,” Matt said. “After you left I went ahead and explained what’s been going on and he understands completely. He said he’ll be in touch soon about finishing up the paperwork, and that if you need anything else at all to contact him.”

 

Danny nodded absently, fidgeting with the ends of his sleeves. He knew what he had to do but was finding it hard to begin. He could already feel tension trying to creep back in and focused on keeping his breathing deep and even.

 

“Is there… something you need to talk about?” Matt asked slowly, tilting his head a little.

 

“Y-yeah,” Danny replied with a relieved sigh. Thank God for Matt and his instincts. He might have stood there frozen all day, otherwise. “And I… I should have said something about it before. It… it wasn’t just the emails from reporters that… that upset me earlier.”

 

“We, uh, we suspected as much,” Claire said gently. “Why don’t you sit down and we can talk about it?”

 

Danny nodded nervously, his stomach flipping over. Claire moved to the other couch so that Colleen and Danny could sit together with Luke without them all being pushed so closely together. Danny was grateful. As much as he valued the increasing levels of intimacy they were all sharing, he needed a little space to breathe just then.

 

“Whatever it is we’ll deal with it, Danny,” Colleen prompted gently. “Just take your time.”

 

Danny nodded again, taking a deep breath. He trusted them. He _loved_ them. He could do this.

 

“Gao sent me an email,” he finally said, fidgeting uneasily with the ends of his sleeves. “The sender was a Hand company I recognized, so I knew what it had to be as soon as I saw it.”

 

“Son of a bitch,” Jessica cursed. “I was wondering if maybe that bastard had done something, but she’s not any better.”

 

“No, she’s not,” Danny agreed grimly. “She… she wants me to start answering Davos’ calls. If I don’t, then she’s… she’s….” His voice seemed to seize up in his throat and he clenched his fists in frustration.

 

Suddenly Lei Kung was standing behind the other couch.

 

 _“Go on. Tell them what new shame you’ve brought upon yourself,”_ he sneered. Danny flinched.

 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Luke said softly, slowly bringing his arm up to wrap around Danny’s shoulders, clearly ready to withdraw it again if Danny reacted badly. “We’re here for you.”

 

“There’s a video,” Danny blurted out in a rush, feeling light-headed. “There was a hidden camera in the b-bedroom and if I don’t talk to Davos she’s going to leak it to the media. There were p-pictures from it attached to the email so she wasn’t lying about having it.”

 

Strangely, it felt like a weight had been lifted off his chest even as static threatened to push in all around him.

 

“Jesus _Christ,”_ Jessica snarled after a moment of stunned silence. “That… that fucking _bitch.”_

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything before,” Danny said anxiously. “I… I just kind of freaked.”

 

“That’s completely understandable,” Matt said, his voice sounding shaken. “That… that had to have been a terrible shock.”

 

“God, Danny, that’s _horrible._ I’m… I’m so sorry,” Colleen said, reaching to take his hand. He gripped it back tightly.

 

Jessica rose to her feet, practically vibrating with rage, and strode over to the bar to pour herself a drink. Danny suddenly found himself rather desperately wishing for one at the moment himself. Almost as if she had read his mind, she poured a second glass and brought it over to him. He blinked at her in surprise as he accepted it.

 

Claire started to speak but Jess cut her off before she could get a word in.

 

“I don’t want to hear anything about how drinking is not a healthy coping mechanism,” she bit out. “We all know that. But if anything deserves a fucking drink it’s finding out some fucking sicko _recorded_ you being raped and beaten.”

 

Danny couldn’t help but flinch a little at her stark language, but at the same time he felt strangely warmed by her depth of feeling.

 

“Thanks, Jessica,” he said gratefully. She nodded in acknowledgement, turning away to pace restlessly, glass in hand. He eyed his own glass for a moment and then drank it all back in one shot, setting the empty glass down on the coffee table.

 

When he looked up again, Lei Kung was gone.

 

“Can’t really argue with that, I guess,” Claire said with a sigh. “Hell, I think that _I_ could probably go for a drink or two or… or _six_ right about now.” She rubbed her face wearily. “And God, Danny… I can’t even imagine how it must have felt to find that out. It’s awful. It’s _beyond_ awful. And… and you saw _pictures?”_

 

“Y-yeah,” Danny said. He shuddered and Luke pulled him closer. Finding that he suddenly didn’t need so much space to breathe after all Danny leaned into the embrace gratefully.

 

“Have you thought about what you want to do?” Luke asked somberly.

 

“I need a new phone,” Danny replied without hesitation. “I know I said I’d wait a bit, but… but I can’t let her follow through on that threat. I… I _can’t.”_ The static was pushing in all the more forcefully. He tried to focus on the warm burn of the alcohol, on the feel of Luke’s arm around him and Colleen pressed up close on his other side.

 

“Of course we understand why you wouldn’t want that, but… you know you have nothing to feel ashamed of, right?” Claire asked gently. “Even… even if it did get released, you were the victim. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

 

“And I guess that would make you totally okay with a video like that of _you_ getting out, right?” Jessica snarled.

 

“That’s… that’s not what I meant,” Claire said, paling a little, but Jessica was already waving a hand at her.

 

“Fuck, of course it wasn’t,” she said. “I’m sorry. I’m… I’m really fucking upset right now and being a bitch is my default setting.”

 

“We’re all upset,” Matt said. “And everybody lashes out sometimes.” He held his hand out in invitation and after a moment’s hesitation Jessica returned to the couch, setting her emptied glass down on the coffee table. Matt wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close and planting a soft kiss on the side of her head.

 

“I… I know I shouldn’t feel ashamed of the video,” Danny said softly. “But I… I _do.”_

 

“That’s what Gao’s counting on,” Jessica said bitterly. “It’s really fucking gross of her to be exploiting it, but the fucking rape culture we live in just _loves_ to blame the victim. And… and I kind of hate to mention this but it does no fucking good to hide from the truth… it can be even more unforgiving with male victims.”

 

“So I need to do what she wants,” Danny said, swallowing back the lump in his throat. “I can’t deal with that, especially not now with… with all the other stuff going on. Maybe… maybe it’s cowardly, but I just can’t. I… I can handle talking to Davos. It’ll be okay.”

 

“And what about when she asks for something else, something _more?”_ Claire asked gently. “You know she will. And… and it might be more upsetting for you to talk to Davos than you realize.”

 

Danny’s heart clenched in his chest. He’d thought of that, too. Once he proved willing to cave to one demand, Gao was sure to keep holding the video over his head to push for more.

 

And as for talking to Davos… in some ways it almost seemed crazy to think communicating with him should be any big deal. They’d been brothers for fifteen years. But there was no denying that their relationship - already so significantly eroded - had been fundamentally and irrevocably changed by what Davos had done a couple of day ago. He… he wasn’t actually sure how he might react to talking to him again after that and the thought scared him.

 

But… it couldn’t be as bad as the alternative.

 

“I… I don’t know,” he said honestly. “I’ll… I’ll just have to figure things out as they come. And… and maybe we’ll have found her and stopped her before that. But… but for now, I need to do this. And I can handle Davos.” He tried to put as much conviction into his voice as he could, particularly on the last bit, but judging by the doubtful looks on the others’ faces he wasn’t very successful.

 

“It’s your decision, Danny,” Claire finally said with a sigh.

 

“I’d say it probably is the best strategy right now,” Matt said. “None of us blame you for not wanting the video released, Danny. That… that would likely be a media shitstorm of unbelievable proportion. And… and maybe if you’re in communication with Davos you can get information from him, like you suggested trying to do before.”

 

“I’ll text Ward to tell him what’s going on and ask him to get a new phone here as quickly as possible,” Colleen said, pulling her own phone out of her pocket.

 

“T-thanks, guys,” Danny said, suddenly feeling overwhelmed again. “And… and I really am sorry for not telling you right away.”

 

“No worries, man,” Luke said. “You’re telling us now.” He paused, frowning a little. “It seems kind of strange, though, doesn’t it? That all Gao’s asking for, at least for now, is something pretty minor. And… and did Davos go complaining to her about you not answering his calls, like some kid telling tales?”

 

“I… I don’t even know if he _knows_ about the video,” Danny said. He found himself hoping that he didn’t. He… he wasn’t sure how much more betrayal from Davos he could cope with.

 

“With how possessive and jealous he is, it’s rather hard to fathom him agreeing to something like that,” Colleen said, frowning as well.

 

“Well, she can’t expect him to not find out if he doesn’t already know, especially not if he and Danny are talking again,” Luke said. “And… and just why should Gao _care_ whether they’re talking or not anyway? She didn’t care about you guys escaping.”

 

“It’s a power play, a way to keep Danny leashed,” Jessica spoke up, her voice heavy. “Davos wants to keep his claws sunk in, to remind Danny over and over that he’ll never let him go and that he’s not free of him, not _really._ It’s what monsters like him do. For… for awhile I had to send Kilgrave a selfie promptly every day at ten, in order to protect someone else. He even made me _smile_ in them. They… they fucking _glory_ in exerting control, in being able to make you do something they know you don’t want to.”

 

Heavy silence descended for a moment. Matt pulled Jessica closer, his hand rubbing soothingly over her arm. She closed her eyes and dropped her head against his shoulder with a sigh. Danny’s heart ached for her.

 

“And since for some reason Gao is in favour of Davos’ obsession, then she would want that, too,” Claire remarked grimly.

 

Colleen’s phone chimed and she looked at the screen.

 

“Ward’s having the phone taken care of asap,” she relayed. “It should be delivered within the hour.”

 

“Thanks,” Danny said, feeling a swooping rush of relief. Gao hadn’t specified a timeline, and of course had no way of knowing if he’d even seen the email yet, but… the thought of Davos continuing to try to call him while that threat was hanging over his head but being _unable_ to answer even when he was willing to made his skin crawl.

 

But… would he really feel any more at ease about it once he was able to answer his calls again? Gao would still have the video, and could hardly be trusted not to either use it against him again or… or just go ahead and release it anyway.

 

The thought nearly turned his blood to ice.

 

“Hey, could the email be useful in some way?” Luke asked. “Like, is it possible to trace exactly where it came from?”

 

“I don’t want you guys to look at it,” Danny said quickly, his heart skipping a beat. “The… the pictures….”

 

“No one needs to look at it,” Jessica said firmly, raising her head from Matt’s shoulder. Danny practically melted under another wave of relief. “I doubt very much there’d be a point. With the Hand’s resources it’s almost definitely untraceable. We have a lot to work with from these computers, anyway.”

 

“You’ve found more useful stuff?” Danny asked, grateful to shift topics.

 

“Yeah, they’ve been completely decrypted so it’s just a matter of sifting through it,” she said. “So far we’ve found a bunch more financial and corporate information, with a lot more real estate holdings. That’s already been forwarded to Ward’s security people.” She paused, eyeing him for a moment before continuing. “And something else that’s not going to help us find them but is likely very much of interest to you.”

 

“W-what?” he asked, suddenly feeling nervous.

 

“A whole bunch of files and stuff from Birch, including security footage,” she said grimly.

 

TBC


End file.
